2017/01/16

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Neatorama


This Poor Sparrow Needed Help, But a Friendly Farmer Was There to Save Him

Posted: 16 Jan 2017 03:59 AM PST

Idaho resident Nelson Wilson has a heated water tank for his horses that birds like to drink from during the winter. Unfortunately, this little sparrow got his feet wet and then decided to take a break on the metal fence, leaving him stuck with nowhere to go. 

(Video Link)

While the bird was scared of Nelson as he approached, he seems to have accepted that the man was trying to help him by the end. A little warm breath and some patience were ultimately all it took to save the little guy.

Via Some ecards

What’s Ailing Anakin (and Other Fictional Characters)?

Posted: 16 Jan 2017 02:00 AM PST

The following article is from the new book Uncle John’s Uncanny Bathroom Reader.

If you’ve ever tried to psychoanalyze Darth Vader or wondered why James Bond drinks his martinis “shaken, not stirred,” you’re not alone. Some medical journals have a tradition of diagnosing the “ailments” of fictional, biblical, and even cartoon characters.

Patient: Humpty Dumpty

Medical Complaint: Multiple eggshell fractures sustained following “a great fall” from a wall. Afterward, “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

Physicians’ Notes: “We question whether ‘all the king’s horses and all the king’s men’ were capable of launching an appropriate medical intervention after Mr. Dumpty’s unfortunate accident. The presence of ‘all the king’s men’ also suggests a shocking lack of crowd control. Could the crowded scene explain the inability of the responders to ‘put Humpty together again?’ ” (Canadian Medical Association Journal, December 2003)

Patient: James Bond, British secret agent 007

Medical Issue: Alcohol consumption. Two researchers read 14 of Ian Fleming’s original James Bond novels and made a note of every drink he consumed. “Days when Bond was unable to drink (usually because of incarceration or injury) were also logged.”

Physicians’ Notes: Bond averaged the equivalent of four vodka martinis a day, and on some days drank as many as 16, yet was able to remain active at levels “inconsistent with the physical, mental and indeed sexual functioning expected from someone drinking this much alcohol.” Also noted: 007’s consumption dips in the middle years of his career, then rises in the later novels, a pattern often seen in patients suffering from alcoholic liver disease. “We advise a reduction in alcohol consumption to safe levels, and suspect that the famous catchphrase ‘shaken, not stirred’ could be because of alcohol induced tremor affecting his hands.” (British Medical Journal, December 2013)

Patient: Anakin Skywalker, who grows up to become Darth Vader

Medical Issues: As a young man, Anakin has problems with anger management and impulse control. He engages in risky behavior and whipsaws between idolizing and demonizing his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi. He also has abandonment issues and “stress-related breaks with reality” when the women in his life leave him or die. His change  of name from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader suggests that he also suffers from identity issues.

Physician’s Notes: Dr. Eric Bui, a French psychiatrist, watched Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith during his medical residency and made a tally of the character’s psychiatric problems. By the time he was done, he’d counted six of the nine criteria that are listed as symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Only five are needed to confirm a diagnosis. “I believe that psychotherapy would have helped Anakin and might have prevented him from turning to the dark side of the Force,” Dr. Bui says. (Psychiatry Research, June 2010)

Patient: Dumbo the Elephant

Medical Issues: Dumbo’s ears are abnormally large—larger than those of adult elephants. In fact, they’re so large they allow him to fly.

Physicians’ Notes: Authors P. K. Phillips and J. E. Heath constructed a full-size model of Dumbo’s ears in order to better understand what purpose they might serve (besides flying). Their conclusions: “In conditions of high wind velocity and large gradients, Dumbo could potentially dissipate more heat than he produces. This suggests that he may need the large ears to help lose the excess heat produced while flying.” (Journal of Thermal Biology, 2001)

Patient: Samson, the biblical strongman whose story is told in the book of Judges in the Old Testament

Medical Issues: Samson lies to his parents, steals from his neighbors, gets in fights, kills a lion with his bare hands, and sets 300 foxes on fire and uses them to burn the fields of the Philistines. He later beats 1,000 Philistines to death with the jawbone of an ass. His mistress, Delilah, a Philistine, tries to kill him three times, yet he recklessly reveals to her the secret to his superhuman strength (his uncut hair), which she then cuts off so that he can be handed over to the Philistines.

Physicians’ Notes: A team of four California physicians read the biblical account of Samson’s life and concluded that he exhibits six of the seven criteria (“fire setting, cruelty to small animals, bullying, initiating physical fights, using a weapon, and stealing from a victim”) for a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder, “a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood.” Only three of the seven criteria are needed for a positive diagnosis.

According to Dr. Eric Altschuler, one of the authors of the study, “An appreciation that Samson had ASPD makes many pieces of the story, previously enigmatic or in need of long explanations, fall into place.” (Archives of General Psychiatry, 2001)

_______________________________

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's newest volume, Uncle John’s Uncanny Bathroom Reader. The 29th volume of the series is chock-full of fascinating stories, facts, and lists, and comes in both the Kindle version and paperback.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

This Kitchen Tool Turns Radishes Into Mario Power-Up Mushrooms

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 11:59 PM PST

Mario eats mushrooms that look way too brightly colored to be safe, and the red and white ones are clearly inspired by fly amanita mushrooms, which can be toxic if not ingested properly. 

But Mario has all the extra lives he could ever need, which make it okay for him to ingest potentially toxic substances, so what are humans with one life left supposed to eat instead of toxic mushrooms? 

How about radishes that are sliced to look just like power up mushrooms from the Marioverse?

This fun kitchen gadget created by Israeli industrial designer Avichai Tadmor is called the Ravanello, and it turns ordinary radishes into fun mushroom shapes in just a few simple steps. 

The Ravanello won't actually imbue radishes with the power-up abilities of a Mario mushroom, nor will it make people who can't stand radishes suddenly change their minds, but it does make some adorable food art!

-Via Laughing Squid

Overwhelmed

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 09:59 PM PST

This is one of the reasons you waste time: you have so much to do, you don't know what to do first. That can lead to nothing at all getting done! But as you make your to-do list, put your priorities in order. The you'll have a clear idea of what's most important. In this comic from Chris at Lunarbaboon, the process resembles getting your ducks in a row, even if they are shaped like little devils.

Tell Your Special Guy How Much You Love Him With a Broquet

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 07:59 PM PST

Flowers are pretty and all, but they don't really do much. If you want to impress someone who doesn't care about aesthetics all that much, skip the traditional bouquet and instead visit Say It With Beef where you can buy a Broquet made of delicious meat products life beef sticks and jerky. The flowers come in two varieties -daisies and roses and they even come in a special romantic pint glass or beer mug.

It's the perfect Manentine's Day gift.

Via Incredible Things

North Koreans Try American BBQ

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 05:59 PM PST

Digitalsoju TV took some people who escaped from North Korea years ago to one of the best barbecue restaurants in South Korea. They also recruited a master barbecue chef and flew in a variety of American barbecue sauces. The people who were trying all these cuts of meat and sauces for the first time were quite impressed (as I'm sure anyone would be).

(YouTube link)

But the food is mainly a starting point for a discussion about the difference between North Korea and the rest of the world. They tell us about the food, the farms, and the customs they grew up with, and especially the North Korean government that takes everything from the people to feed the administration and military. It's all in Korean with subtitles, but well worth the watch. -via reddit, where two of the video producers answer questions.

Warning: if you watch this, you will end up hungry.

We Work Hard For The Money

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 03:59 PM PST

(Comic Via Rhymes With Orange)

Some people spend money like it grows on a tree in their front yard, while others scrimp and save every dime so they can have that nest egg waiting for them when they finally decide to shell out some cash.

(Comic via Sarah Andersen)

But no matter how you are with your money there comes a time when you have to make a difficult monetary decision and weigh your hourly wages against the true value of an item you want to buy.

(Comic via Toothpaste For Dinner)

That's why people have such a love-hate relationship with work and the concept of a paycheck, because we feel like we're spending 40+ hours a week at work and still don't have any money to burn.

(Comic via Books Of Adam)

And once your brain is stuck on saving money for bills, retirement and other unfun things those glory days of frivolous spending are over, that is, until the new (insert product name here) comes out!

(Comic via The Awkward Yeti)

Game Over, Little Dude - The Mini Alien Menace

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 01:59 PM PST


Game Over, Little Dude by Pacalin

Those alien space invaders seem like they'd be awe-inspiringly massive in the classic arcade game, but in real life their little pixelated space ships are so tiny they wouldn't scare a house cat! But despite their small size their pew-pew squares can do some real damage, but those antiquated little suckers are stuck moving from left to right anyway so it's not that hard to dodge their shots. It's actually hard to imagine why game designers thought such silly little starships would pose a threat to the Earth, but they do get bonus points for being the first to blow the whistle on the invasion of the mini aliens!

Add a touch of 80s arcade magic to your geeky wardrobe with this Game Over, Little Dude t-shirt by Pacalin, it's a great way to celebrate the days when entertainment came a quarter at a time.

Visit Pacalin's Facebook fan page, official website and Twitter, then head on over to her NeatoShop for more gamer-iffic designs:

Super Meat BoyGrid InvaderOrange County AstronomersWanna Take A Ride?

View more designs by Pacalin | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

Diseases Caused by Masturbation

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 01:59 PM PST

I'd heard of the writings of Dr. Samuel-Auguste Tissot, but I had no idea his 1760 book on masturbation was still in print! The 2015 edition of Diseases Caused by Masturbation was originally titled L’Onanism. Dissertation sur les maladies produites par la masturbation.

The book recounts stories from his own patients and from the patients of other renowned European doctors to support his claim that masturbation is deleterious to a person’s body and mind. Tissot also uses quotes from the ancient physicians, such as Galen and Celsus, as well as the most noted doctors of his day, such as Herman Boerhaave, to further strengthen his claim.

It's pretty easy to see how he might come to those conclusions. First off, everyone who went to the physician for treatment had a physical illness. Secondly, not only did everyone masturbate, in the 16th century most of them felt guilty about it, and it was easier to confess to the doctor than to the priest. The correlation was clear. You can read quite a few pages of the book, but the reviews are the best part of the Amazon page, even though most reviewers admit that they have already gone blind. Now I can look forward to weird contextual ads following me around the 'net. It's an occupational hazard. -via Blame It On The Voices

I Am Going To Throw My Christmas Tree Into The Ocean

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 11:59 AM PST

There are no hard and fast rules regarding when it's appropriate to dispose of your Christmas tree and when it's too late, so our trees often end up hanging around our homes well into January. 

Some people figure out a mischievous way to dispose of their tree, others toss it to the curb and hope somebody hauls it away.

But nobody tosses their Christmas tree into the ocean, or rather, nobody should toss their tree into the ocean, because it's a dumb idea.

(YouTube Link)

Brendan O'Hare and Cory Snearowski are Couch Friends, and they made this video so we can LOL. 

-Via Boing Boing

Ringling Bros. Circus to End

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 09:59 AM PST

Officials with the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus have announced that the circus will close down in May of 2017. They cited declining ticket sales, operating costs, and changes in audience taste as the reasons. The circus was a combination of several earlier circuses that merged, with the oldest going back 146 years.

The circus, with its exotic animals, flashy costumes and death-defying acrobats, has been a staple of entertainment in the United States since the mid-1800s. Phineas Taylor Barnum made a traveling spectacle of animals and human oddities popular, while the five Ringling brothers performed juggling acts and skits from their home base in Wisconsin. Eventually, they merged and the modern circus was born. The sprawling troupes traveled around America by train, wowing audiences with the sheer scale of entertainment and exotic animals.

By midcentury, the circus was routine, wholesome family entertainment. But as the 20th century went on, kids became less and less enthralled. Movies, television, video games and the internet captured young minds. The circus didn't have savvy product merchandising tie-ins or Saturday morning cartoons to shore up its image.

Cost aside, audiences decided that carting wild animals from town to town for live performances is not right, clowns are scary, and its easier to watch other acts on video. However, more modern traveling live shows such as Cirque de Soleil continue to draw audiences. -via reddit

Secrets of the Louvre Museum

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 07:59 AM PST

The Louvre is easily the most famous museum in the world, but even a number of people who have visited don't actually know that much about the place itself. Whether you have been there or want to visit in the future, you'll want to check out these fascinating facts about the museum

For example, did you know the original building dates back to the 12th century and that you can still see the remains of the moat inside the museum? Or that many of the pieces on display are only there thanks to plundering on the part of Napoleon Bonaparte? Or that there is now an official Da Vinci Code themed route to explore the museum? 

Learn these facts and more at Travel and Leisure

Work Safety Fails

Posted: 15 Jan 2017 05:59 AM PST

I just found a new Twitter account that I will have to bookmark. Work Safety Fails collects cringeworthy images, videos, and gifs from workplaces all over the world. Some are scary, like the guy above who should have worn a harness while cutting a tree, and some are just dumb.

But occasionally there's a sequence that works amazingly well if you ignore all standard procedures and safety rules. These are labeled "like a boss."

Follow Work Safety Fails here.

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