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2020/11/04

Blind Comedian Tells Story Of Time He Thought Neighbor Ignored Him and more...

What a hilarious tale from start to finish.
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Blind Comedian Tells Story Of Time He Thought Neighbor Ignored Him and more...


 In This Issue...



Blind Comedian Tells Story Of Time He Thought Neighbor Ignored Him

 

What a hilarious tale from start to finish. 

Submitted by: (via WILTY? Nope!)

       
 

Kayakers Briefly Swallowed By Whale

 

Now that's a once in a lifetime kind of experience right there. Yikes. Can't even imagine what must've been going through those poor kayakers' heads when they were momentarily chilling in the whale's mouth. 

Submitted by: (via Whales of the World)

       
 

The Time a Florida University Developed a $430,000 Abstinence Game

 

The year was 2010. Motion capture technology was all the rage, and someone at the The Institute for Simulation and Training at the University of Central Florida had a great idea. Why not use rapidly obsolete-looking technology to design a simulation-style game for middle-school girls? And the goal of that game? To promote abstinence, baby. It's hard to find anything about it, so the project may easily have been scraped, but we wish there was a playable copy somewhere. Honestly it's really hard to tell if times ever change or everything is the same forever.

Submitted by: (via AmplifyYourVoice)

       
 

Manager Tries To Embarrass Employee, Proceeds To Self Destruct

The fact that this manager ended up quitting after unsuccessfully trying to humiliate an employee, is the real icing on the cake. It's a true mystery how some of these incompetent managers end up being in the positions of power that they are. At least this particular manager was ultimately defeated. 

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + JOIN u/Darigone • 5h Total Humiliation Was told I should post this here [TL:DR] Manager used my report in a meeting to' set an example." Only for the manager to be humiliated by the same report. I work in security and have been for years. A common practice is to complete a report of what happened during your time. I specifically work in patrols. Basically you go from location to location checking on each site.

2.

Text - After each site you write what you did at the location. I have 40 sites to watch over every night. For this reason things tend to get very copy paste. Most locations require the same thing. Check exterior, checking stairs doors damage, you get the point. I got a new manager who is disconnected with how patrols work. He want us to make unique entries into every single log.

3.

Text - When I mean unique I mean none can be close to similar. So if I state I patrolled the exterior of the building. I can't use that phrase for any of the other logs. You can see how that could cause me a lot of problems, and is a massive time waster. After about a week of being borderline harassed, and threatened to make each log 100% unique or else. Let's see about that.

4.

Text - We have so much to look after we have thick binders giving detailed information for each site, and what's required of you. “Site orders." Every time I would complete a site I just copy pasted all the information into the log. Each log has a small window that you could put 50 words into before it becomes overwhelming to read. Each log I posted had no less than 500 words directly from the “Site Orders." After my first day doing this. I expected to walk in, and get yelled at. However nothing

5.

Text - 2 months latter, and still no one says anything not a word. We have quarterly meetings to talk about accidents how the patrol group is doing. What's going wrong and what's good. Que the manager the first thing he brings up is the logs, and how almost everyone is failing. How we all should know better. “Your not kids I shouldn't be holding your hands, the only adult in here besides me is OP."

6.

Text - I look up at him, and his smile was almost disturbing. He then shows a log I wrote up. He begins to talk about how everyone should be like me. How no one deserved to work here but me. The looks I was getting from everyone was brutal. He talked for about 20 min constantly using my name. He would of kept going, but I interrupted him. I asked why he called me out, and how inappropriate it was for him to do so. He looked at me and said “Only children interrupt someone when they are talking."

7.

Text - I then turned to the group. Telling them that T have been copy pasting my report for the last 2 months. I told them that I just copy pasted the "Site orders." Over and over again, The managers face started getting real red. He after all wanted us to make unique logs. He started to scramble a bit as he pulled up other logs of mine. Only to show that everything I said was true. After that the whole group jumped on him. Many had been screamed at for the exact thing I had been doing. It was b

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Tumblr Thread: Spiders Rule The Cranberry Bogs

Just in case you were considering starting up with a gig at a cranberry bog, this post might make you reconsider that particular life route. Or, maybe you're one of those people who aren't scared one bit by the prospect of wading around cranberry bogs with armies of wolf spiders encircling you. 

1.

Text - dombinic why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh thetaobella You've never heard of The Bog? heartachedreamboy th the what heartachedreamboy #i forget some people dont understand massachusetts

2.

Water - EACH ADDITION TO THIS POST MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD punkrorschach This is a cranberry bog (unflooded) it's how cranberries grow. Once they're ripe, the blog is flooded and the cranberries harvested.

3.

Water resources - Basically by using big floaty things to round them all up and then scooping them out of the water. heartachedreamboy thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man in my head is still screaming "BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY", but i appreciate the education,

4.

Text - bomberqueen17 oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the guy who owns the restaurant right down the road from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever, and in a former life before he started slinging reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic chicken, he was a cranberry farmer. His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one

5.

Text - Well when you're in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don't like it, so they're, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing. So yeah the first interview question he always asked potential cranberry bog harvester hires was "are you cool with spiders?" "You'd be amazed," he said to us, shaking his head a little, "how many guys would just straight lie. Like, you think I'm asking you that question to b

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Tagged: spiders , scary , job , tumblr , work , funny tumblr
       
 

People's Dumbest Assumptions About Jobs

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the most ridiculous, mindless assumptions that people make about other people's jobs. Just because someone's a doctor doesn't mean that they're going to be able to figure out why your back hasn't felt right for weeks. 

1.

Text - imontiza • 5h 1 Award "You're invited to my.. party/event/wedding/ celebration.. please could you bring your camera" Reply 5.5k ...

2.

Text - McDougal_Scarborough • 5h 3 2 Awards "Oh, you're an electrical engineer? Can you wire my garage?" Reply 12.7k ...

3.

Text - Absolute_Predator • 6h "Oh, you're a chemical analyst? You must know how to make drugs" Reply 8.6k ...

4.

Text - Funke-munke • 6h 3 7 Awards Oh you're an Occupational Therapist- Can you help me find a job Reply 23.3k ...

5.

Text - tygs42 • 5h "Oh, you're a truck driver? Can you come tell me what's wrong with my car?" Umm, ma'am, I just drive the damn things... You want the shop guys for that. Reply 3.5k ...

6.

Text - Conscious_Tea • 6h Oh, you're a therapist? tells me about their family member who really needs to see a therapist Reply 1 12.5k ...

7.

Text - garbagepencil • 5h "Oh, you're an accountant? Can you add and/or multiply these huge numbers in your head lightening fast?" No. You have no idea what I do.... Reply 4.0k ...

8.

Text - New_Game_P1us • 6h Oh, you work in construction? (Proceeds to ask about fixing things around the house, asking if something was installed wrong because it doesn't "look right", or wanting a price quotes for various projects) Reply 2.5k ...

9.

Text - CarbineFox • 2h 3 Awards "Oh you're a geologist? What kind of rock is this?" Just kidding, we love that shit and will tell you a long story of the history of that rock and how we saw examples in the field in the middle of nowhere. Reply 1 2.1k ...

10.

Text - MelpomeneLee • 3h "Oh you work for a law firm? My son's ex-girlfriend wants full custody of their kid. What should he do?" A. I'm a mass tort paralegal, I don't do family law B. He needs to get a lawyer. Reply 587 ...

11.

Text - brow3477 • 5h "Oh, you're a pharmacist? Well I have this huge, gaping wound on my left butt cheek, can you look at it and tell me what I can use over the counter?" Sir... Please go to the hospital... Reply 1.5k ...

12.

Text - Askanner • 5h Oh you're travel agent, when is covid going to end? Reply 1 1.3k ...

13.

Text - keithwaits • 5h 7 Awards So you're a statistician? .... I never get to help friends and family with my professional skills :( Reply 13.8k

14.

Text - "Oh you're a firefighter? Do you actually go to work?" Reply 591

15.

Text - bigEchees • 7h 1 Award "Oh your a musician, play that one that goes, bun dum dum bun dum donn bom" Reply 4.3k

16.

Text - Lethal_bizzle94 •5h Oh your a psychologist, can you chat to my kid and see if he is depressed Reply 1 2.3k ...

17.

Text - drawingmentally • 4h "OH, are you an artist? Draw me for free!" Reply 436 ...

18.

Text - sdhohd • 6h "Oh you're a linguist? How many languages do you speak?" Reply 952 ...

19.

White - rafily • 6h CAN YOU hACk fAcEbOok??? Reply 780 ...

20.

Text - BloatedCrow • 4h I was going to have surgery and about 10 minutes before I was scheduled to go under the knife, the nurse asked me what I was studying. I told her l'm a computer science student and without skipping a beat she asked me to help her download WhatsApp on her Huawei! Since I'm also studying genetics, I also often get requests like "does this rash look bad" or "can you clone my cat". NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. Edit: I nearly forgot my all-time favourite - "you're Jewish? Can you balan

21.

Text - shellshocked_637 • 3h Oh you're a nurse, can you have a look at my ingrowing toenail / tell me why I have a rash down below Reply 1 108 ...

22.

Text - POtentialAH • 4h "Oh, you're a voice actor? Do "x" character's voice!" Reply 437 ...

23.

Text - ilikerocks19 • 2h "Oh you're a geologist? If I showed you a map could you find Norway?" Um, yeah, but not because I'm a geologist... Reply 161 ...

24.

Text - Extreme_Seaweed5214 • 2h "Oh you're a gardener? WhY cAnT I EvEn KEEP mY CACTUS aLiVe???" Because you like telling people you have no green thumb to virtue signal how humble and accepting of your faults you are (and it seems to get you matches on Bumble profile) rather than watching one youtube vid on how to keep succulents alive Reply 1 56 ...

25.

Text - Rand_alThor_ • 2h Oh you're an astronomer? Why is my outlook as Pisces so negative this month? I heard all the planets are going to be lined up what does that mean for my horoscope? Reply 42

26.

Text - labbykun • 5h "Oh, you work in a pharmacy? Can you tell me what to take for [insert ailment here]?" And "Oh, you're a photographer, can you take pictures for my wedding/birthday party/Christmas?" That one gets me really irked because I have all this pressure on me to do a really precise job on what is essentially a hobby, I do not have the equipment for professional shots and the end result is usually met with at least mild disappointment. Reply 64 ...

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Cursed Foods That are Uncomfortable to Look At

In some cases, a closeup of just about any pot of slime is gonna look bad, but then there are those cursed foods from Lucifer's larder that are so creatively horrible that they're just hard to look at. Props on people for trying something new, but dear god some of this food was created in the underworld's kitchen.

1.

Food - CHe Che

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Food

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Food

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Dish

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Dish

6.

Dish

7.

Soil

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Food

9.

Food - Made chilli for dinner

10.

Textile - TACKY

11.

Dish

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Dish

13.

Dish

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Cuisine

15.

Buttercream - FIND THE TOENAIL

16.

Dish

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Cuisine - elc

18.

Dish

19.

Dish - mashed potatoes, corn, fried chicken, gravy. all homemade. fuck a kfc

20.

Food - NEW funeral ootatoes AUGASON FARMS SINCE+ 1972 casy prepare WITH MADE 00% REA L POTATOES

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Dish

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Dish

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Dish

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Cuisine

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Dish

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Dish

27.

Food - Buffalo chicken from the crock pot CoaCor

28.

Dish

29.

Dish

30.

Food - What you do not smell is Briabeetus. "Super moist French vanilla" cake, topped with sliced strawberries and a combo of EXTRA CREAMY Cool Whip and whipped fluffy white icing stirred together to perfection, finished with a whole strawberry cheesecake including graham cracker crust floating atop. he 508

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Customer Called Out for Making Store His Personal Gem Show

It's no secret that online review sections have become a battleground of sorts between entitled customers and concerned owners with a whole lot of time on their hands. What gets sweet is when a lying customer gets taken to the cleaners, like this lying Karen who got decimated by this owner's response. For more retail stuff, here are dumb complaints employees had to deal with.

1.

Text - Robert Hamilton R 7 reviews · 1 photo 10 months ago I have been to the store many times and spent a respectable amount of money. I came in one day with some stones and crystals to ask what they were (some of which I purchased there). The owner came out from a side-room and basically lost her mind refusing to even look at what I had. She would not even let me explain that some of my collection was purchased there. I WILL NEVER SET FOOT IN THAT STORE AGAIN. I WILL WITHER GO TO OTHER STORES

2.

Text - I remember this sisuation well, as I was rather surprised to see you sitting on the floor in the middle of my main check out room with two rather large boxes / storage containers filled with stones that you were sorting through and spreading out on the floor. While in your review you write that you had been to my store several times you told the sales associate working that night that you lived near by and passed us often not knowing what type of business we were, and that it was your fir

3.

Text - elsewhere, as I courtesy I told you that you could text me some photos of your collection would try to help identify some of your stones when time permitted, it was obvious that you were not happy with my response.. I think that its pretty bold for anyone to walk into any shop with items purchased from other shops and to expect service and support. you not only did this but also spread your items all over the floor in my main check out area which prevented other guests from move around fr

Submitted by:

       
 

Dumbest Customer Complaints Employees Had to Hear

There is no pleasing some customers. Seriously, sometimes an angry, miserable, frustrating, entitled customer is just in the building to look for a fight. There are even some extremely stupid ones like when the complaining customer isn't even in the right store. Don't even think that anyone is safe from Karens online, like this lying Karen who got decimated by the owner's response.

1.

Text - blissbali2020 4.3k points · 19 hours ago Many years back, worked for a store chain which sells all products related and connected to Nature. Among them, the Himalayan salt stone lamp. It's a stone made of salt that encases an electrical bulb. It is supposed to help for regulating ions in your home/office. A customer called us to complain that their stone disappeared at home, and asked for a refund. As open mind as I can be, I however tried to understand what she meant exactly by "disappea

2.

Text - TrypMole 1.2k points · 17 hours ago I may have worked for the same store. We also sold bonsai trees which can be kinda tricksy to keep so you got a care leaflet with them. The leaflet said to water the tree you should immerse the pot entirely until soaked and then allow to drain completely (disclaimer: I have no idea if this advice is actually correct). Anyway customer comes in with dead tree in pot with zero soil left, ranting how the advice was terrible and demanding a refund. Turns out

3.

Text - 10wuebc 174 points · 19 hours ago The carts were wet..when the customer watched the utility guy push them in..FROM THE FUCKING RAIN!!!!!!

4.

Text - woodenman22 4.0k points · 19 hours ago A guy asked if I was the manager. "Can I help you with something?" Angrily: "Yeah, three Saturdays in row now I come down here at 4:30, and every fuckin' Saturday you close at 4." "Uh...yeah. We close at 4." "Fuck you." At least he left then. The worst ones don't leave. They just keep going.

5.

Text - noodles_the_food 2.0k points · 19 hours ago I work for a popular roadside assistance company and had a guy call in wanting to get roadside assistance for his daughter who was stranded. His daughter was not on his membership and there was no room to add her because he already had his wife added. So I suggested he remove his wife for now and add his daughter so she can get roadside assistance and then switch them back afterwards. Apparently this was the most outrageous suggestion. He went a

6.

Text - BOOMkittykitty 1.7k points · 20 hours ago I used to work at a pizza place with a small| dining room. So many people would complain that their pizza was too hot to eat. Of course it is. It just came out of the oven. This is why you chose to drive your dumbass here to eat instead of having it delivered. Because it's fresh. Fresh pizza is hot, ffs.

7.

Text - AwkwardSara 1.6k points · 19 hours ago I was working at OfficeMax during back to school season. This woman comes up to my register with a few things and I start scanning it in. She notices the one item rang up less than she was expecting. She actually got an attitude with me because we hadn't had a chance to print new shelf tags for that aisle yet. I told her I would wait if she wanted to get more. She declined and continued complaining to me about it. I said "well I can override the pric

8.

Text - DietyBeta 1.4k points · 19 hours ago Had a woman call me racist because I asked her if she needed utensils for her take-out.

9.

Text - Inevitable_Problem85 1.0k points · 17 hours ago A customer called me racist. I do phone support. I don't see your skin color. They then proceeded to tell me to go back to my country. Yes I have an accent. Who's discriminating who?

10.

Text - maxdps_ 1.2k points · 19 hours ago S Not sure if this is really a complaint but more sheer stupidity... At my first IT job, someone was returning a computer monitor and insisted on speaking with someone from the IT department rather than just leaving it in the cage as they were asked. So I came down to talk with them to see what was going on and she was very adamant that I "double-check" the monitor to make sure all of her information was off of it... This lady literally thought all of he

11.

Text - 2buckbill 1.0k points · 18 hours ago Worked in an electronics store to put myself through college. I worked in the computer department, but was sitting at the loss prevention desk up front to cover while the LP supervisor took a quick lunch break. An old lady comes in, asks where the dairy section is, and help finding the milk. I told her, kindly, that we weren't in a grocery store. She looks confused and leaves. A couple of minutes later her (presumably) son walks in, and starts chewing

12.

Text - Unique_User_name_42 873 points · 20 hours ago The store manager was walking by my register as a customer was walking up to check out. My manager said I had to take my break in 15 minutes to which I said, "Okay" The customer complained that it was unprofessional for the manager to speak to me and that I was unprofessional to respond when a customer was approaching the register because I needed to be focused on her and greet her appropriately.

13.

Text - functionalsock 844 points · 19 hours ago Worked at a coffee shop that wasn't Starbucks. Frappuccino is a trademarked word for Starbucks blended coffee drinks. When customers would ask for frappuccinos we would just put in the order as what we called it and let them know the name for it at our store so they would recognize it when the barista called it out. Had a women get so upset she was screaming, all over the word frappuccino. According to her it was the traditional Italian word for a

14.

Text - shartnado3 847 points · 19 hours ago Working pizza delivery. One time a guy called in, threatened to kick all our asses and more because we put sticks in his pizza. I told him I would be happy to come pick it up and examine it (we got a LOT of fraud calls, people trying to get free shit every day). When I got there his tone changed (I am 6 foot, 270 pounds) and he showed me the "sticks" in his pizza. You know what they were? He ordered thin crust, and some of the crust broke off onto the

15.

Text - PersonMcNugget 777 points · 20 hours ago Somebody called head office to complain that they heard a Michael Jackson song in our store.

16.

Text - alphalegend91 750 points · 20 hours ago · edited 16 hours ago Ah I got a great one. So I have a small retail business with my mom that's strictly brick and mortar. Normally our return policy is within 21 days for store credit. During the holidays we extend it so that anything purchased between black Friday and December 24th can be returned up until the end of January. A few years ago this guy came in around the end of April trying to return Christmas gifts on DRY CLEANING HANGERS. When I

17.

Text - Scamperillium 593 points · 18 hours ago · edited 17 hours ago I work at a bakery and we sell pigs in a blanket for breakfast. A few years ago one of the kinds was a spicy blueberry sausage (it had blueberries inside the sausage link). One day some lady got one (knowing it was a blueberry sausage link), bit into it and noticed some dark looking things inside the sausage link (surprise, it was a blueberry) but for whatever reason she thought that a flake of black gunk from inside our oven s

18.

Text - Nick_J_at_Nite 587 points · 19 hours ago · edited 7 hours ago When I was at DirecTV I received a call from a man whose sole purpose was to complain that this is the United States and there should not be a Spanish option in the automated call tree.

19.

Text - slapthefatcat 533 points · 19 hours ago Restaurant with open kitchen, so customers and us cooks can converse freely. Customer wanted crispy fish. Made it really crispy. Not done enough. I cooked a new one, literally like 15 minutes on the fryers; I cooked three or four other orders around it. She then complained that it was too hot and she didn't want it.

20.

Text - EmberHands 437 points · 18 hours ago That our parent company said that a portion of every purchase goes towards the So The World May Hear foundation for poor kids hearing aids. He wanted that portion of his purchase refunded to him. I told him that the parent company had every right to do with their profits off every purchase that they wanted and most people were happy that instead of profiting as much they made a donation instead. He didn't care. He was mad that his money was helping bro

21.

Text - ashlie_ren 390 points · 18 hours ago A lady ordered a sandwich and then cancelled her order because she thought it took too long. Someone else from the party she was having called and made an order. We made it and delivered it without issue. Same lady calls back APPALLED that we would allow one of her guests to order from us after she made it very clear she wanted to cancel her own order. It's not my business if other people at her party want to order food and I had no idea it was her par

22.

Text - mywifiisbadtho 373 points · 19 hours ago I worked at Subway in high-school and a customer demanded to speak to a manger because her $5 footlong was not exactly $5. I tried explaining to her that sales tax is normal and $5.35 is the price of anything after tax that is $5 she continued to yell and cuss at me. She even specifically stated she does not have to pay a tax. It was at that moment I accepted that there was no being rational with some people...

23.

Text - queen_in_the_north17 335 points · 19 hours ago I was a lifeguard for 2-3 years in high school. Everyday I would get people complaining about the pool temperature as if I could do something about it. "Ma'am, the pool does not have a heating system, I'm sorry. Larger bodies of water hold their temperature longer, which is why it's so cold". And they would complain ALL. THE. TIME. “This is your job, you need to fix it!" I'm sorry lady. This isn't the 4 Seasons Hotel, this is a fucking commun

24.

Text - MrNatels 320 points · 18 hours ago I'm a bartender and just last night a came in and I knew something would happen... they are sitting at their TABLE and ask for some margaritas. I go make them and bring them out to the table. He proceeds to tell me "here's a TAFFER tip; if someone orders a cocktail you should make it in front of them" I replied, well if you were sitting at THE BAR I could do that... Do you want me to bring the blender out to your table and make your frozen drink for you

25.

Text - ChilliCornflakes 269 points · 19 hours ago Once had a customer complain about the lack of windows and natural sunlight in that part of the store. We were in the basement.

26.

Text - somestupidassbitch 244 points · 19 hours ago · edited 19 hours ago Ice cream, half eaten, lactose free ice cream. They called up the store I worked at and demanded we take it back bc after she ate almost all of it she realized it didn't taste that well. Despite my efforts to explain that we can't take back food she already had opened and eaten she still insisted we gave her back her money. After 10 mins I just told her to come to the store and talk to the manager. Not only did he refund t

27.

Text - OnAMoose 219 points · 20 hours ago Work in produce delivery. Had a lady complain that the pit in her avocado was too big. She followed up by asking if she could come in and pick her own items before we delivered them and I kindly reminded her that grocery stores exist.

28.

Text - Just-1-More-Try 208 points · 19 hours ago Customer was sent a bill in an envelope with a plastic window part for the address and called to complain that our company was single handedly (her words) destroying the planet by sending so much plastic through her door. Turns out she'd had several letters as she was significantly behind in payments and there was a previous complaint on her records where she had insisted all correspondence must be by post. Smh. Literally could not win with the wo

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Work Memes to Hide from the Boss

Work. We need to do it to not be hungry and cold, but other than that it's missing some benefits. Depending on their job, most people would rather just sit and be bored. And everyone's attitude at work is a strange combination of trying to do as little as possible while blaming everyone around them for doing as little as possible. It can get rough. At least there are work memes to blow off work steams.

1.

Snout - Them: "I hope this email finds you well" How the email found me: *hissing noises*

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Cartoon - Whenever I have to talk to anyone at any point during the day u/SIlverisDel me on the outside me on the inside That's it. Big smile. Everybody's happy.

3.

Photography - I took a bullet in the head for this company. And we thank you for yourservice. corporate in a nutshell

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Cartoon - Me listening to songs about killing people and selling drugs on the way to my regular 9-5 job Iad

5.

Text - *Works a job I hate just so I can afford to buy alcohol to deal with the job I hate* @StupidResumes In the circle, the circle of life

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Hair - Thank you for your absurd opinion that literally no one here agrees with

7.

Sky - Me at work today... That can Fuck off! I'm NOT doing that! IG @_Taxo I'm NOT doing shit!!!

8.

Facial expression - what the cinnamon toast fuck is this

9.

People in nature - Me searching for who the fuck asked you. ers Lerstock Shotersto

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Goats - When no one believed you. But it turns out you were right

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Cat - When you've got a deep rage burning inside you but you've got to act nice because you're at work...

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Cartoon - Me after a long day of pretending to like people

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Face - YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

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Forehead - [JUDGES JUDILY] CELSION

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Text - It's easy to look sharp when you haven't done any work

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Photo caption - WEIRD HILL TO DIE ON BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE DEAD makeameme.org

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Text - My favorite part of Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and started choking a co-worker.

18.

Cat - I don't know what this cat is going through but I can relate.

19.

Yoda - Watching your supervisor freak out over something that you mentioned would be a problem months ago @researchgotmelike

20.

Animated cartoon - deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable

21.

Job - Me after graduating college and using my degree to simply send and receive emails 40 hours a week.

22.

Text - Jahmere @jahmeretyree_ I know my boss sick of me Did you call a customer dumb tonight? No I said "are you dumb" ? I was asking him Do you think that was appropriate? Very much so

23.

Text - Blowing on the wine in your coffee mug will help convince the rest of the Zoom people that your tea is hot.

24.

Photo caption - One hour into your shift... I wänna go home. I want a beer. I want an ice cream sandwich. I wanna take a nap. I wanna read a comlc book. I wanna watch Little House on the Prairie. I want a vodka.

25.

Marsupial - Due to recent events, morning screaming hours have been extended indefinitely aborteddreams aborteddreams

26.

Text - Jack Altman @jaltma World: To have a successful WFH day, start your day with a shower, coffee, go outside, get some exercise. Have a nice morning and treat it like a normal workday. Me: Wakes up 4 minutes before my first call.

27.

Sky - When everything is going wrong but you're used to it now...

28.

Cartoon - When they ask you to show the new employee around. Ohumor_me_pink -This is where I come to cry. -Cool.

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Tumblr Thread: Human Befriends Cat That Doesn't Meow

Oh man, this is one of those true gems from the brilliant minds of the Tumblr world. We've got a story about the time that a dude ended up taking a feral cat in, and the beautiful friendship that blossomed from there. 

1.

Text - sailorcuba Follow the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?" and it meows at u moderngargoyle Follow like, that is a very unspecific response I still have no idea what you want but l applaud how adorably you meowed all the same, well done moderngargoyle Follow This post led me to reminisce on the nature of cat's meowing, and I have a funny story I befriended a feral cat once who had spent her life in the forest without human

2.

Text - interaction. was worried about her because she had a paw damaged from an old injury and was emaciated but obviously nursing kittens that were hidden away somewhere. It took me weeks of putting out food and sitting across the yard every evening for her to trust me even a little and when she decided we were friends and she expected dinner every night she started coming to my door and trying to call for me in the evening, but she didn't meow. Why would she? Cats only meow naturally as kitten

3.

Text - when we first encountered each other in the forest. Except once we were friends she would make this noise while purring and rubbing affectionately against a nearby tree or the porch railing (because she didn't want to touch me yet). This understandably freaked my family members out but I was touched that she had taken the time to find a way to basically yell FUCK OFF in an affectionate way. Fast forward to when she finally trusts me enough to bring her hidden kittens out of the forest to

4.

Text - they make SO many babies) and ended up having her new babies in this pen. I kept my distance, sitting on the outside once they were born until she seemed comfortable enough to let me come inside. The kittens were a bit wild, hissing viscously at me as soon as they opened their eyes, but they warmed up to me. There were four of them and soon they all wanted to be the center of attention during the twice daily play sessions. l'd be playing with one and another would meow insistently behind

5.

Text - thinking because one day when they were about a month old I was playing with them and one meowed behind me. I was confused | because I hadn’t realized there was a kitten behind me and when I turned, there wasn't. The only cat there was Artie looking at me really intensely. I turned back around to the kittens and I heard the meow again, I turned back to Artie and responded in the way | always did with the kittens “yes baby?" And she meowed again in an exact imitation of her kittens! After

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Text - | find it endlessly fascinating because before that it had never occurred to me that cats only meow at humans because they were taught by other cats to keep meowing past kittenhood because that's the best way to get a human's attention. Imagine befriending some weird giant with the wrong number of legs that you met in the forest who seems nice enough but doesn't seem to be able to hear you, until your friend explains that all they can understand is fuck off! And l'm a baby give me love! #

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Twitter Thread: Star Wars Characters' Coffee Preferences

As it turns out, coffee seems to exist in the Star Wars universe, and has ben mentioned a few times in various works. @ViWiWrites went and detailed what different character's preferred to drink in the morning, and how they make it, based on their personalities. It has a whole lot of us sympathizing with Darth Vader. For another fun star wars thread, here's a thread on exactly how Darth Vader is the queen of drama.

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French press - Violet Wilson @ViWiWrites Star Wars Characters and how they make their coffee: a thread Obi Wan makes French press coffee and gently uses just the weight of his hand to lower the filter, so that the sediment isn't overly disturbed and the acidity is controlled.

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Product - Kylo Ren uses an Aeropress because like, come on, just LOOK AT IT

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Cup - Rey only drinks gas station coffee with hazelnut creamer and she does not understand why everyone is all up in arms about it

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Text - Poe Dameron uses a Chemex. He has broken four of them this year alone but refuses to switch methods because he likes coffee preparation methods that wear a little scarf

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Text - Rose Tico uses a Moka pot because it's so cute, and she can carry it around in her rucksack moving from camp to camp. BIALETTI Moka Color

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Text - Armitage Hux thinks coffee is for the weak. He leaves his tea bags in the entire time he's drinking it so that it gets all bitter and full of tannins.

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Product - Padmé uses a Japanese cold brew coffee system that her mother gave her because it's as much art as it is a method of preparation.

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Product - Vader likes it when things coordinate. CLACE-DECKED 8:30

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Product - BB8 just cuts to the chase Sundown Naturals PURE Caffeine 200 MG 8 Hour Sustained Releae Energy Support & Mental Focus 0BEADLET CAPSULES DIETARY SU

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Product - Finn has a keurig because Jesus Christ not every thing has to be a beautiful tea ceremony in the morning for crying out loud he just wants a nice cup of coffee to go thank you very much MITE

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Text - He just-I mean the beans are technically "cooked" if you squint

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Product - Han Solo makes cold brew concentrate in a 5 gallon jug and he does NOT dilute it TODDY cold

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Organism - Luke makes matcha tea with the whisk and everything.

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R2-d2 - R2D2 shows up ten minutes late with the iced latte that is the reason he's late and he doesn't even try and hide it

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Product - Leia Organa is fueled entirely by a passion for global democracy and needs no additional stimulants lo

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Product - Ben Solo is going through a lot and recently had to switch to decaf FILR ur HERE Ben BILE SEIRE sut. dbe free 000

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Music Teacher Gets Mad At Deaf Student For Not Hearing, Embarrasses Herself

People just need to be understanding. But alas, sometimes you cross paths with those folks that are the complete opposite. At least this music teacher was humbled when it was all said and done. 

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance + Join u/NotDaggier • 1y 4 3 1 Music teacher gets mad at me for not being able to hear her (Im deaf) L Hi, my first post on Reddit, so please excuse any formatting mistakes/any other mistakes. Obligatory statement that l'm on mobile yada yada yada TL:DR at the bottom for you lazy cows /s So this happened a couple years ago when I was fresh at high school, in year 7 (I was in the grade for 11 year olds for international peeps). One important thing to note with me is t

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Text - Most of the teachers were pretty understanding about this and would often go out of their way to make sure that I could clearly hear what they were saying (such as seating me towards the front of the class, and standing directly in front of me when addressing the whole class). Except for one teacher who was a hardass about it. She also happened to be a music teacher, she will be known as Ms O. Also this is probably the worst combo because music is also my weakest subject (for obvious reas

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Text - My and my form (we're a pretentious school and like to call the class that we register and go to lessons with our 'form'), are off to our music lesson, and this happens to be a double period (yes we're pretentious and period means lesson) which is about 1 hour and 30 minutes long. Anyway so we start the lesson, and pretty much 2 minutes after we sit down, the batteries in my CI had run flat (remember how I told you earlier that they go flat every 2 days), and so I needed to change them. H

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Text - So Ms L basically asks the whole class to go on the computers, listen to an audio file she'd sent us via email, and then use that as inspiration to digitally create our own piece of music. She also wanted us to show it to the class at the end of the lesson. Now because I didn't want to get into trouble, I raise my hand again to try and ask if I can get the batteries from my bag, but she ignores me again. So l'm like _(9LI don't even like music anyway so no big deal. As a result, I pretty

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Text - After 5 minutes, I get bored and I decide to start talking to my friends (did I mention I can lip read?) And basically let them in on the joke, and we're all trying our hardest to not laugh too hard. Pretty soon, word gets around the class and now they can't wait until the end of the lesson to see what Ms L is going to do. End of the lesson rolls around, and when it's my turn to play my piece of music, and I pretty much sit in silence, and the whole class starts laughing but trying to sti

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Text - Ms L: Honestly, just play your piece of music, it's not that hard. Me: trying to stifle my laughter at this point I can't... Ms L: cuts me off This is how your treat your teachers???? Get out of the class right now! So I get out and pretty much wait there until the lesson is over, I think she was expecting an apology from me (which was never going to happen) because after a couple minutes she pops her head out of the door and barks at me: "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR YOUR TEACHERS,

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Text - At lunchtime, I meet her at the principal's office like she said. Another important thing, is that I'm pretty friendly with the headmaster. She opens the door and the conversation is as follows: Ms L: this guy was giving me an attitude during my lesson and wouldn't listen to me. I would give him a Friday after school detention but I feel that he deserves to get a Saturday detention. Headmaster: turns to me what happened? Me: well my batteries for my CI died and I raised my hand to ask if

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Text - Me: Sir, you know that l'm deaf and that I would never on purposely do that to a teacher. Headmaster; We'll I'm inclined to believe the student here, if you have no proof otherwise, there is nothing to discuss. Ms L then goes extremely red as she realises her mistake and storms out of the office The headmaster gave me a slight smile before ushering me out of the office as well Ever since then, she's never ignored me whenever l've had my hand up :) I know it was extremely Thanks for readin

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Text - TL:DR I'm deaf and need cochlear implants (CI) to hear, batteries in my Cl go flat, and music teacher gets mad at me cuz I didn't do any work cuz I couldn't do/hear anything. Proceeds to embarrass herself in front of the headmaster Edit: wow I didn't realise l'd get this much of a response, thank you so much for the gold and silver and also the general response has been largely positive Edit: stupid spelling mistake in my original edit Edit: spelling mistakes 21.0k 700 1 Share

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Guy Buries Neighbor's Car In Mountain Of Snow

While this must've taken quite a bit of effort, and been very physically draining, it certainly results in quite the beautiful petty revenge. This guy's neighbor sounds like a real inconsiderate piece of work. To have the audacity to watch someone shovel snow out of their parking spot, and then take that very parking spot, is inconceivable!

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/master_shot • 19h 1 5 2 2 O1 3 5 1 Parking revenge! So a little back story before i get the actual revenge story; i live in a really small and tight street with super limited parking spots, but it is like a unwritten rule that every parks in front of their place not some one elses. Recently this douchbag moved in across the street and he has 4 cars! 3 that just sit around and 1 that he drives daily and he has those junkers parked all over taking other peoples spots

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Text - 3 days ago over night we had a massive snowfall it was up to my knees and im 6'4. I wake up and need to go to the store to buy grocieries so i get a shovel and spend about 30 minutes digging my car out of the parking spot and i showel all the snow out of the spot so its easy for me to get back in my spot with my groceries when i get back, while im doing that the douchbag comes out and leaves and he looks at me while im shoveling snow we evem make eye contact so he clearly saw me clearing

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Text - I waited untill it was about 1 a.m to be sure he was asleep keeping an eye out the entire day to see if he moves his car wich he didnt. So i go out with my showel and i showel all the snow i could find in a massive radius around his car and pack it tight under his car and around it and a massive pile on top of it! Took me about 2-3 hours you could not see his car anymore and i was 100% sure he couldnt drive out of the pile i packed it SUPER tight i go to bed feeling happy with a job well

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Belligerent Goat Picks Fight With Guy

 

Keep it together, man, it's not worth it! 

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Tagged: humor , goats , ridiculous , funny , Video
       
 
 
   
   
   

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