An Ignoble Experiment: Do not send to Dave⚠️

Hey buddy,

The page went live nine minutes ago. We have not told Dave.

Dave owns AvalonKing. He is at a flip flop connoisseur expo until Monday (that's our best guess at least, we are not his mom...), and we also pulled him off this email list this morning, because we are not taking chances. He goes back in on Sunday and none of this ever happened.

Here is why, quickly, before somebody talks us out of it...

Our bonus this month is a revenue target and the month closes Friday. The finance guy put the month-to-date report up on the screen yesterday and we all sat there looking at it... we tried sending vibes but it is not getting there on its own.

Then somebody said the obvious thing. We could just sell 50 of something at a stupid price.

So we went into the warehouse, pulled the things that actually belong in the same box, and priced it at what we need rather than what it is worth.

$129.99. It is $190.95 if you buy the pieces separately:

- 2x Armor Shield IX kits

- 1x Ceramic Prep Shampoo

- 1x IPA Prep Spray

- 1x Detailing Clay Towel

$60 off basically.

Across the 50 that is $3,048 hole in the profits. The finance guy worked that out loud and then went quiet for a bit. Nobody would have signed this off, which is exactly why nobody signed it off.

Now the part we are not messing around about.

We did not grab whatever was closest to the door to pad the number out. Those three prep items are the entire decontamination step, and prep is where almost every first coating job goes wrong.

Shampoo takes the chemical layer off. The clay towel shears off the grit underneath, the stuff you can feel when you run your hand over a panel that already looks clean. Then the IPA wipe clears what is left so the ceramic bonds to your paint instead of to old wax.

Two kits and everything you need to do it right, for less than the kits on their own lol. We have wanted to build this box for a while.

50 of them. When the 50th one sells the page comes down. We are not making it 51, that would defeat the entire point.

48 hours, that is it. Go.