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2020/08/31

Helicopter Almost Collides With Drone Off Hollywood and more...

Now that was way too close for comfort. Geez!
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Helicopter Almost Collides With Drone Off Hollywood and more...


 In This Issue...


Helicopter Almost Collides With Drone Off Hollywood
 

Now that was way too close for comfort. Geez!

Submitted by: (via CBS Miami)

       
 

3-Year-Old-Girl Caught On Kite Launched Into Sky
 

A Taiwanese girl at a kite festival was carried a ways up after getting caught in a kite, shocking bystanders until she descended enough to be safely grabbed out of the air. Eat your heart out Balloon Boy, wherever you are.

Submitted by: (via NEVER LOSE HOPE Official)

Tagged: crazy , wtf , shocking , exciting , dangerous , girl , Video , kite
       
 

Broke Ex Whines About Free Pizza

Man, oh, man, this dude is a walking red flag. He bothers his ex about getting help during a rough time, and when she actually pulls through and gets the dude a giant pizza, he pitches a fit! Truly surreal. Check out another case of painfully obnoxious entitlement with this rude choosing beggar who got more than he bargained for.

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Text - Friday, August 28, 2020 Blah I hate asking you this but im out of options at this point and im starving is there any chance yoh would order me something... I understand if ur like fuck off lol 8:01 PM Still in 8:02 PM Yes 8:03 PM Kk 8:03 PM D

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Text - ? 8:03 PM Is that a yes do you wanna know what I want haha? 8:05 PM Your order will be ready: Friday, Aug 28 Est Time: 8:30pm Pickup Store: MAN- Pickup Instructions: Contact Info: MMS

3.

Text - Ordered you a pizza Its a large Should have leftovers for a few 8:06 PM days Why did you do it like that? 8:06 PM Do what? 8:07 PM I was gonna ask for a soda 8:07 PM O I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I'm not feeling good so I'm kind of just out of it 8:08 PM

4.

Text - Ugh 8:09 PM My bad. At least there will be a pizza 8:09 PM I didnt even want a pizza I just wanted something simple like wings why do you jump the gun like that? Like cancel it 8:09 PM Dude i tried to help you. I didn't have to. Idk if i can even cancel it I was trying to be nice

5.

Text - Food is food though. 8:10 PM Alright 8:11 PM Indont like there pizza thats why i haven't gotten it in forever usualy got subs R 8:13 PM I'm sorry. Youve ordered pizza before and i remembered that order but i couldnt remember your sub so i just got a pizza. I didnt have to help, but i did because i still care about you 8:15 PM

6.

Text - I just font understand why you wouldn't ask what I wanted 8:15 PM Like i really don't even want the pizza tbh like that's how much i dont like there pizza I got pizza once lol 8:16 PM Sorry? I was trying to be helpful. You said you were like starving. I got the biggest thing i could so you'd have enough leftovers for a couple days to get you by You got pizza more than once... 8:16 PM

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Text - Hejdnekskx2e93 8:16 PM Are you going to get it or no? 8:17 PM No cancel it Call em 8:17 PM Tell em to cancel it 8:18 PM

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Text - It's canceled but i think they're still charging 8:18 PM me You'll get a refund 8:19 PM Not if they started making it i dont think 8:19 PM

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Disrespectful Lazy Coworker Crosses Line, Gets Canned

This tale of revenge will strike a chord for anyone who has ever had to muddle through a tough job alongside a careless, inconsiderate, and awfully lazy coworker. Basically, this "Aleck" dude thought he was invincible, and screwed around on the job, while he was actively stealing. It's just good they caught him eventually. Check out another recent tale of pro revenge with this aggressive ex girlfriend who stole from her boyfriend's bank account.

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Text - r/ProRevenge Join u/TinyCatCrafts • 2h 1 A disrespectful, lazy coworker finally crossed a big enough line... and I got him fired with a single offhand comment. So, to set this up. I've worked in "Grocery Store" for about 6.5 years when this coworker is hired. I've worked on the front end registers for that entire time, with a couple shifts each week working for the sign/ price tag team. Basically, I've been there forever and *generally* tend to be someone some newer people go to with ques

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Text - I've also made sure to speak up if I saw a coworker doing something against the rules or that would be looked down on by management, and I always speak up *to the person*, not to supervisors or management. Usually things like "Hey, Supervisor is real picky about using your phone, l'd keep that in your pocket for now." or "Manager is here today, make sure you keep the belt clean, they're crazy about that." Point is, the things I say to fellow coworkers are meant to keep them from getting i

3.

Text - Ме: Ме. Aleck: The SmartAleck coworker. Super: One of my most favorite supervisors. Aleck gets hired on in a small wave of new hires for front end due to a bunch of other employees quitting in a short time over an issue with hours being cut. He is hired in along with three girls we will just call Sue, Jane and Liz. For the first few months or so, I don't have any issues with Aleck. He seems polite, respectful, he's always willing to... you know, do his job.

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Text - Sue and Jane are a bit rambunctious and loud and boisterous, but they're like 17. They're graduating soon, and I'm thinking maybe the job will settle them down after a bit and they won't goof off so much. Liz is a bit more reserved, but gets pulled into their outbursts when they're all working together (on her own, Liz was great.) At some point, Aleck and Sue start going out. They're always with each other, she's visiting him while he's working and vice versa, chit chatting while waiting

5.

Text - This entire group starts getting away with things that I have not only been reprimanded on, but threatened with firing over. Screwing around, shrieking and laughing and openly gossiping, loudly, in front of customers, while only paying enough attention to the customer to shoot a 'You want a bag?' here and there.

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Text - They don't clean at all, they leave trash at their stations. They're always on their phones, leaning right over on the counters and texting away while customers are at their lines checking out. (I was once written up for using my phone at the completely EMPTY self checkout.) One of them even dropped an F-bomb *in front of customers* and then started yelling at me for "telling her how to talk". All l'd said was "Whoah, hey, careful. Watch your language, you're at work." Then, the Pandemic

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Text - The other crap and garbage was frustrating, but this pissed me off. My best friend is Immunocomprimised, and here was this young, arrogant little jerk who was handling peoples food, touching his face constantly, never wearing his mask. He was risking lives. So I kept being a bit of a nag about it, until he turned to me one day and said "TinyCat, Shut the hell up. Who made YOU supervisor?" Oh. Okay. I mean I was trying to keep all this garbage on our level and give you a chance to stop scr

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Text - Not wearing his mask? Supervisor (and eventually manager, this one happened EVERY day) Texting on his phone? Supervisor. Standing around chatting when he should be on lot? Supervisor. Sitting down on the furniture displays holding hands with his girlfriend when they should have been working on returns? PHOTOGRAPH, and Manager. Many other instances of language, slacking, even what looked like it could have been a theft of tobacco products, etc, right to Supervisors. And yet... he still kep

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Text - Their antics are making more work for everyone else, they're making us all look bad to our customers, and we all know that if we'd pulled this crap we would have been out the door ages ago. It was like they were untouchable. (Surprise, turns out one of them has a relative working as a manager in another dept, and THAT manager is buddy buddy with our new Store Manager). By now, I felt pretty defeated. They could get away with dropping F-bombs, screaming and shrieking and rough-housing, str

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Text - So when I saw Aleck leaning over his register one day to buy himself a pack of candy... I almost ignored it. I thought for a brief second about telling him he wasn't supposed to buy things on his register... but I just bit my tongue. He didn't want to hear it from ME, after all. Then I saw Super. Oh, well. Might as well report yet ANOTHER thing he's doing against policy. Me: Oh, hey Super? Super: What's up? Me: Not much, but someone may want to remind Aleck that we aren't supposed to buy

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Text - Weirdly, she did not go speak to him. Instead, she vanished for about 20 minutes, and returned to me with a sheet of paper in hand. Super: Hey, so... did you happen to see what he was buying? Me: Uhh... yeah, it was *Specific Brand Candy*. Super: *looks down at paper* Huh. Okay. Thank you. Then she leaves again, and still doesn't go speak to Aleck. She goes to the Managers office. I had a day or two off, and didn't see her for a couple more after that due to schedules not lining up. About

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Text - Super: Oh, he's gone. Me: Like... suspended? Super: Oh no, gone gone. Me: Wait, what?! Super: Yeah. He wasn't just buying candy. He got Cash back, from his own drawer. Ме: ОMG. Super: OH WAIT, THERE'S MORE. Oh was there more. After seeing on the report of the transaction that he'd gotten cashback, so blatantly and obviously in the middle of his shift, she checked his history. Every employee has a store reward card to get their employee discount. You also have a unique ID code to log into

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Text - Super went back through the register logs to find every instance of him using his own Rewards Card under his own Log-In number, and found he had done this MULTIPLE times. On a few of them, she noticed some... discrepancies in the time stamps as compared to his schedule. Dude had been finishing up his shift, clocking out, going around the store to do his shopping... and then *logging into a register off the clock* and checking himself out. So my one little offhand comment, that I never wou

Submitted by:

       
 

Woman Leaves Bad Review, Café Owner Brings In The Truth

It's just plain old messed up that people can be so nonchalant about destroying the reputation of restaurants, with employees that are just trying to make ends meet. This particular customer sounds like quite the two-faced nightmare. She'd lie and say everything was all good right before pulling a 180, and leaving a scathing review that wasn't even honest. 

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Text - O0000 Reviewed 4 days ago |via mobile Does not live up to the hype As a serious food lover, and a follower of the White Moose Cafe on social media, I was very eager to try out this cafe. Unfortunately it was an extremely disappointing experience. I ordered the club sandwich and it was worse than poor. At €9, I couldn't believe how poor it was, in both appearance and in taste (see photo). I would like to Zoë Dublin, Ireland 51 95 see the owner focus more on improving the food, rather than

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Text - The White Moose Café added 3 new photos. 21 June at 12:36 · * WHITE MOOSE Dear Zoe, Many thanks for your review. We actively encourage reviews, as it gives us an opportunity to rectify any issues that may arise during the customer experience. Just a few points to note:

3.

Text - 1. The Club Sandwich is one of our best sellers. It is a three-tier sandwich with a full chicken breast, bacon, tomato, Dubliner cheddar, lettuce and pesto mayo. Sorcha, our waitress, said that you wanted your Club Sandwich served to you on Ciabatta bread and not the usual three-tier-style sandwich. Is this why the appearance of the sandwich is not as expected? We have no problem

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Text - reconstructing our entire menu to suit your needs, but we don't expect you to whinge if we make a sandwich look the way you wanted it to look. It might also be an idea to include in your review that the sandwich was not made according to our required standard.

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Text - 2. The vast majority of our reviews are very positive. From time to time, customers can have an issue with something. If their issue is brought to our attention when it happens, we will do something about it. We will resolve their issue there and then. If you had told us you weren't happy with your sandwich, we would have replaced it with something else or not have charged you for it. When Sorcha asked you how your food was, you said "it was lovely". In my mind it's a little unfair to lie

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Text - 3. When people write TripAdvisor reviews, they usually think there is no recourse. They usually assume that the restaurant won't know who they are. They are unassailable. Fortunately for us, we were able to identify you. Your user ID is Zoe K, and when I put this into Facebook, up came your full name. When I was faced with the task of identifying you, I thought it might be some feat. However, seeing as you added me as a friend on my personal Facebook, one didn't need to be Sherlock Homes

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Text - 4. We have a great relationship with Q102, we love having the Blue Crew in the café. We have fun with you on our Snapchat. You have us on radio. It's a reciprocal kind of love. We even give you a 15% discount on your food. I see you also failed to mention you got this discount on your D.I.Y. sandwich.

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Text - 5. Finally, I see that there is a certain pattern to your reviews. I have noticed headings such as "Revolting", "5-star Horror", and "What a Kip" in your review history. I also note that you think a certain café in Clontarf "deserves to be closed down". I wonder are there two sides to these stories too? I wonder are you also failing to disclose important facts relating to these establishments?

9.

Text - You might not be a business owner providing employment to countless individuals from several countries, but l'd remind you that when you write unsubstantiated negative reviews on restaurants, you are seeking to damage the reputation of establishments that provide employment, and thereby you are putting the jobs and livelihoods of its employees at risk.

10.

Text - Perhaps if you were honest with the restaurant in the first place you wouldn't need to write all these reviews. You might also have more money in your pocket. I know if I wasn't happy with something, I wouldn't pay for it. So, not only would you appear to be less two-faced, but you'd be much richer too! Many thanks, Paul Stenson www.whitemoosecafe.ie

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Text - NOTE: Zoe K told me she would have no problem deleting the review (but to date this has not happened). It's funny how people can be so casual when it comes to damaging the reputation of a restaurant. They write the damaging review at the drop of a hat, and just as quickly they'll remove it when they are caught out.

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Text - WHITE MOOSE afe WHITE MOOSE CAFÉ North Circular Road, Phibsborough Dublin 7, IE 018386633 ORDER: Table 3 Cashier: Jason 13-Jun-2017 12:02:06 Transaction 04738 1 Club Sambo €9.00 in a ciabatta Cappuccino €2 95 -€1.79 €10.16 Total €10.16 CREDIT CARD SALE

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Nature reserve - WARNING Customers with no sense of humour are advised to the enter at their own risk. WHITE MOOSE Management DOES NOT accept responsibility for hurt feelings. afe

Submitted by:

       
 

Technically Accurate Memes, Moments and Jokes

If you can't think of the right answer, sometimes it helps to just say something clever. And if you can't think of something clever, just try to think of something bone-jarringly dumb and hope people find you quirky. Few of us may be smart, but given the opportunity, we can at least be technically accurate.

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Text - slavery Americans have literally no banter eyeofthelionfish idk what country this is coming from but we've probably beaten you in a war at some point slavery I'm American thescourge-sisters Civil war

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Text - @TheAndrewNadeau her: i'll have the salad, no nuts, please waiter: of course me: it didn't say it had nuts her: i'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe me: that makes sense waiter: and for you? me: steak, no bees, please

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Skin - Just fell asleep at the beach and woke up with a hideous tan line 3decentbirthday

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Text - ll 02-UK ? 12:20 33% (1 Dad Today Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers really tall sand castles 10:39 / By that logic milk is basically made of grass so ice cream is technically a salad 11:38 When are you coming here? 11:46 Ummm 3 o'clock 12:19 /

5.

Text - Nathan Usher @thenatewolf I have a hot house to protect me from the cold outside. Inside my hot house I have a smaller cold house to protect my food from the heat of my hot house. 3:52 am · 3 Jan 2018 1,000 Retweets 4,905 Likes keith @KeetPotato · 3 Jan Replying to @thenatewolf show off 37 Nathan Usher @thenatewolf 3 Jan *takes some cold food out of the cold house and places it in an even smaller, hotter house* 2 2739 229

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Text - dermythosdessisyphos: wewillavenge-it: nickiminiall: isn't it weird that we pay money to see other human beings? Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets? glasses

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Soldier - I Googled marine animals, and I wasn't disappointed

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Cartoon - Turtwig #387 Squirtle #7 GRASS WATER CRandom Random Turtle GRASS WATER

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Leaf - Fefl PUZZLE 500

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Face - spiders are the only web developers in the world that enjoy finding bugs

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Calculator - It's the small things that count in life

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Photo caption - Vampires suck your blood for Vitamin D because they can't go out in the sun themselves. You ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.

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Text - I don't understand why some Christians promote abstinence as a form of birth control when it didn't even work for Mary. thatknitchick I really shouldn't be laughing right now. elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey story time: so i grew up in an abstinence-first education state where everything ended with "abstinence is the only form of contraception that is 100% effective" and my best friend gave a presentation on contraception where the last slide was just a picture of the virgin mary that said

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Food - A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jane ate her friend's sandwich. • Jane ate her friend's colon.

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Text - Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies??? joleebindo: the-kellin-under-the-vic: This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material it's like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby Rock also defeats baby

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Animated cartoon - You're doing it right now! Sire, this meme only makes sense if you read the panels But why wouldl ever do that? backwards.

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Advertising - Neser HOME MANIWIEIANI OF: Esso Pizza Hut WHO CAN DRINK 5 GAL OF GAS AND NOT GET SICK? JERRY CAN

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Text - @AFP · 8h AFP .@NASA is investigating what may be the first crime in outer space, with AFP news agency astronaut Anne McClain accused of identity theft and improperly accessing her estranged wife's private financial records while on the ISS u.afp.com/J2ds AFP ANNE C. Mo HH MAKKAN 331 27 1,223 2,244 * Randy VI Rendon- @хonexce Replying to @AFP and @NASA Despite making up roughly 49% of the population, women are responsible for 100% of the crimes in space

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Hair - What concert costs just 45 cents? OR 50 Cent feat. Nickelback

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Human - SUPER

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Hair - Barber: What you want, fam? Him: Let me get that "y = mx + b" Barber: Say no mo. skeptical-ish: that is exponential growth which is y=ab^x so you are wrong and you have failed

22.

Text - Post BuzzFeedVideo Buzzfeeo VIDEO 1 day ago RIDDLE: What has six faces, but cannot wear makeup, has twenty-one eyes, but cannot see? Shanks BOI • 1 day ago A man with 6 heads and 21 eyes but is allergic to makeup and is blind. It 5.1K 目 35 35 replies

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Ear - Comentarios 18,521 幸 X mr slasher • Hace 1 mes (editado) You can tell the wolf likes her because she's currently not being ripped to blood soaked shreds 1029 1 目10

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Vehicle - 400 000€ 300 000 € gold diggers

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Sky - TODAY'S WEAT HER

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Karen Uses Up Budget on Ugly Powerpoints, Gets Fired

In a stunning display of pig-headed incompetence, these clients managed to bust their budget on ridiculously bad designs, to the point that it cost Karen her job. For some other wild Karen behavior, here's an HOA Karen who complained about guide dog training. For some unprofessionalism, here's a customer who got mistaken for a job applicant, then the interviewers break the law.

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Text - Posted by u/6463694 10 hours ago Client wants us to create a design "exactly" like their ugly Powerpoint. We comply. oc L As a designer, I try to educate my clients on design and why something has to be done a certain way. My agency is not cheap, so we make it quite clear that they are paying for our experience and knowledge, not some Photoshop monkey. Most of the time, my clients are appreciative and enjoy the extra guidance and professional advice. Occasionally, we get "fun" jobs.

2.

Text - The sales pitch went well enough, the business owner, Bob, seemed like a decent guy and happy to trust our professional expertise. However, shortly after signing the deal, he brought on a new manager, Karen, who was put in charge of marketing, including the new website we were just contracted to do. It quickly became clear that Karen thought of herself as a multi-disciplinary genius and despises us because she thinks she can do better than a professional design agency. Karen loves sending

3.

Text - Karen did not like it one bit. Karen was rude, uncooperative, and removed Bob from the email threads when we tried to reach out to him to get his opinion. When we sent over a design, she would bitch about how it wasn't want she wanted, and scream over the phone while our team patiently explained why we couldn't design exactly as she wanted. Mainly: It would be ugly as heck and nobody would want to do business with them with a website like that. The last time Karen bitched about how we wer

4.

Text - Once again, Karen sent over a ridiculous 70mb Powerpoint. If we followed it exactly, it would look like a website from the 90s with the worst UX ever. We went through every little pixel of her PPT, asking her "So do you want us to copy this... EXACTLY?" To which she would reply with a smug YES. So we documented her instructions down to the letter to cover our asses. Once again, we asked Bob: "Are you SURE?" Reply: "Yes please hurry up and make those changes exactly as she asked." Okie dok

5.

Text - Karen once again replied, taking Bob out of the loop, "PERFECT! Now, it wasn't so hard to do things EXACTLY ASK I ASKED, was it? ;)". We waited. Bob exploded, demanding a meeting the very next day to explain why we were delivering such shoddy work. We go to the meeting and Karen starts demanding that we propose a completely new design. We presented all past designs, the document in which Karen confirmed that she wanted all the changes, the countless emails in which we painstakingly explai

6.

Text - I then pull out the contract and calmly point out the portion which stated the number of design proposals we would create. Karen had used up all of it. I had reminded her that she was limited to X number of proposals, but she clearly didn't remember any of it because she didn't bother reading our emails, and would keep talking or yelling over us when she spoke on the phone. I looked Bob in the eye and told him he could either pay extra for each additional new proposal Karen wants, or choo

7.

Text - I shrug. It's his business, and we're getting paid anyway, and he clearly doesn't appreciate our design expertise after all. The less time we spend arguing with them, the more time we could use to focus on my appreciative, good clients. We make Bob and Karen sign off on the design, and finish up the project quickly. Karen still tries to be difficult, but we stick to the contracted terms and she couldn't do anything. 2 months after the project ended, I get a call from Bob. He began with so

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Murky Secrets of Various Industries

Not every job or role is as noble, omnipotent, or even as useful as they always seem to be. There are sketchy secrets in tons of industries, from how you're being charged to who exactly is on the other end of the phone. It can be a little unsettling to know how people actually feel about their own jobs, but it's not exactly shocking.

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Lying Choosing Beggar Pays More Than He Bargained For

Man, oh, man, this was one especially cheeky choosing beggar. They tried to pull a fast one on that seller with some last minute haggling, but ultimately failed hard. Hopefully they learned their lesson in honesty and integrity. Check out another case of a choosing beggar being a handful with this choosing beggar that wanted an iPad for $40 and free delivery.

1.

Text - r/ChoosingBeggars u/MAStersOfTheUn1verse • 1d Join 1 Lying CB ends up paying more than he bargained for LONG Just a small CB but it pleased me how it worked out. TL;DR at the end as I realise I can waffle on. My mother in law was downsizing and had a decent office chair to get rid of, fully adjustable with lumbar support and all that jazz. If I'm honest I really wanted it but I don't have an office/study or anywhere to put it, my desk is my dining room table.

2.

Text - She was originally going to drop it off at a charity shop but they couldn't take it as they don't have fire tags (in the UK a charity shop can't take furniture with any type of upholstery on them with out a safety tag on it to show it is fire retardant). So the missus suggest she list them on Facebook and try and get some money for it so MIL could either treat herself or donate the money to the charity. Now if you were to buy one of these chairs new it would probably cost £150ish, it was

3.

Text - Interested buyer messages my wife, who created the listing so MIL wouldn't have to deal with negotiation and asks if they would accept £25 for one of the chairs. MIL says yes that's fine if they could collect roday, so my wife passes this on and asks when will you come and collect? A time was set for collection later in the day and all was well. The chairs were at MIL's house and my wife was at our house and so all communication was relayed between text message. About 30 minutes before th

4.

Text - They said they would be there at the agreed time, they turned up at mother in law's house and they must have known from my wife's profile picture that when they met the mother in law it wasn't who they had been negotiating with and asked to look at the chair, sit on it etc. With a smile on his face he tried to hand over £13, when my mother in law said that the price was £25 the guy must have took a stab in the dark and said "Your daughter said we could have it for £13 as we have traveled

5.

Text - The CB, seeing his discount chair being pushed back into the house then offered to pay £20 saying "£20 is all I have" and then offered the previously agreed £25 for the chair. I was still on the phone at this point and could hear what my mother in law was saying but not what the Choosing Beggar was saying. I heard her say "as you have said, you've come a long way to pick it up, if you don't want to go home empty handed it was originally listed for £30." CB reluctantly paid £30 and took hi

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Patently Absurd Warning Signs

We live in a world of many dangers, so many so that it requires terrifying signs that speak the language of fear. Some of these signs ride the line just between utter joke and serious business, and others are straight up creepy as hell. There are spooky signs out there that mean serious business.

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Material property - DANGER DO NOT TOUCH Not only will this kill you, It will hurt the whole time you are dying.

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Signage - WARNING IF FOUND HERE AT NIGHT YOU WILL BE FOUND HERE IN THE MORNING

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Text - NO CLIMBING ALLIGATORS LOVE KIDS em BUT THEY'RE HARD TO es. DIGEST SO PLEASE DO use NOT CLIMB ON THE BARRIERS OR WALLS

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Text - ATTENTION TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED FREQUENT TRESPASSERS WILL BE SENT AWAY ON MISSION.

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Sign - 0310 AČAUTÍON 0-210 大 NO PEDESTRIANS

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Nature reserve - ΑΤΤΕΝΤΙΟN! If you become lost or confused in the corn maze, stay calm! Don't panic, help is on the way. Every Thursday morning we send a rescue team into the maze to bring out everyone left from the previous weekend. They are highly trained and can usually locate over two-thirds of those left behind.

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Signage - AWARNINGA TO AVOID INJURY DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB

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Sign - THIS RIDE 林 ONLY STOPS IN AN EMERGENCY. CRYING IS NOT AN EMERGENCY

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Text - If we die, we're taking you with us.

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Signage - WARNING FEED A PIGEON LOSE A FINGER ED THE BIRD Code SEC 486 M.P. Thank You! PIER 39 San Francises H PLEASE DON

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Nature reserve - THIS PROPERTY IS PROTECTED 24/7 BY SECURITY CAMERAS & 20 OR MORE WOLVES

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Street sign - SUICIDAL DEER NEXT 2 MI.

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Nature reserve - NO TRESPASSING WE'RE TIRED OF HIDING THE BODIES

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Motor vehicle - Please do not enter the dangerous area beyond this gate! You quite possibly will get hurt, then you will sue, then a protracted court battle will ensue exhausting your financial resources and you will lose because this sign that warned you will be "Exhibit 1".

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Font - UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN AN ENERGY DRINK AND TAUGHT TO SWEAR

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Signage - SUBURBRNE PARKING FOR GOUP SHACK GARAGE GUESTS ONLY VIOLATORS WILL DIE... EVENTUALLY

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Nature reserve - "Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.

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Signage - BEWARE OF FALLING DEER: Leopards conceal their unfinished food in the tops of trees.

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Chain-link fencing - ZOO RULES THOSE WHO THROW OBJECTS AT THE CROCODILES/SNAKES WILL BE ASKED TO RETRIEVE THEM

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Tagged: warning , jokes , absurd , signs , lol , silly , threat , dumb , funny
       
 

Tumblr Thread: Hilariously Dramatic Mishaps In Drama Club

This fun and wildly entertaining Tumblr thread shines light on some of the hilarious, and entirely ridiculous mishaps that can occur in drama club. Just picturing that huge rubber fish sailing into the audience to the horror of all the parents is enough to get the laughs rolling. Can't imagine what kind of silence must've ensued after that. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about cultures colliding over how to measure time and space.

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Text - lucasbieneke Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched "Poison Boots" and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino's foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking "How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for

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Text - crutchiee or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert's suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out musicofthestage best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere agatharights During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesu

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Text - Jesus screamed "JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME". Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn't been adjusted. So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage). soulpunchftw This is wild from start to finish

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Text - totalspiffage I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook's mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went "YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!" in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway) sheriffwxy In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night's dream, Thisbe didn't have a sword so she stab

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Text - redheadeddisneyfreak My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she'd get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com "zombie Juliet" and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears. sammywhatammy i attended my county's

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Text - my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway's The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far. in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa sayi

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Text - cinder-ember During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston's introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky? Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, t

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Text - Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store TM, I'd finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run. Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn't drop the it. Lefou's actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. T

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Text - Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it's place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou's conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage..from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle jok

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Text - Sunday Night: Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy. Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston, Gaston doesn't notice the dropped prop and ste

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Text - les-etoiles-de-la-boxe Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were "fishing" at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn't big enough, and throw it back into the "ocean",

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Text - hey-look-a-hufflepuff This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash miss-elsaba My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and the

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Text - coffeeandpunkmusic My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn't dramatic enough for "fleeing" so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmoth

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Text - peterquilltingcircle I was once in a production of "Hello Dolly!" and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other's plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see

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Aggressive Girlfriend Steals From Bank Account, Pro Revenge Ensues

What a fine example of how those liars of the world just can't argue with that sweet video evidence. This girl was a real piece of work. Fortunately, the pro revenge was successful. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/justwaititgetsbetter • 2d + Join 8 N 7 e 3 "Fairly aggressive" girlfriend stole from my bank account, so I sent her academic career into a nosedive I'm a senior at a large state university. This happened in the first semester of my freshman year. I was selected for an honors-type program that placed me in a co-ed dorm building with every other student in the program. As a dumb freshman, I rushed into a

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Text - relationship with a freshman girl who lived right above me (we'll call her Megan). It was convenient for me to date someone who lived so close, but everyone else in our building hated Megan because she talked a lot, and almost exclusively about herself. She bragged often about being a "fairly aggressive" person, but somehow I overlooked that mile-wide red flag. Right after Thanksgiving break, at the end of an evening class, I got a call from my mom, who noticed some unusual activity on my

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Text - At this point, I trusted Megan, but I decided to ask her about the money right away. She denied any involvement and suggested that I cancel my debit card. After a really long phone call to the bank, I did just that.

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Text - Next, I reached out to Grubhub customer service on Twitter: "Hey, my card was stolen and used for food orders on these dates. Can I have the receipts?" They sent me the first and last receipts, but they had to "redact" the personal info of the account holder. I say "redact" in quotes because they just used the Snapchat draw tool, and Megan's name was still clearly visible on both receipts. What's more: The most recent receipt was only two hours old. She was probably still eating when I ch

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Text - So I texted her again: "I have the receipts from Grubhub. Are you sure you didn't make those orders?" Her reply: "F*** YOU FOR SUSPECTING ME!" ("Fairly aggressive," wouldn't you say?) I hatched a plan to collect security camera footage of her picking up the order from that evening. However, by midnight, Megan arrived at my door in tears and confessed to everything, plus she admitted to being a serial shoplifter. Exhausted, I sent her away and decided to deal with everything in the morning

6.

Text - Well, less than two days later, she entered my room when I wasn't looking. I was sitting at my desk when I noticed her standing silently behind me. Megan: "Give me my stuff. Where's my stuff?" Me: "What stuff?" Megan: "YOU KNOW." I did not know. She tore through the room, looking for something that she refused to identify. Just as quick as she came, she was gone, and I locked the door because obviously this wasn't over yet.

7.

Text - Within a minute, she was back. She stood outside my door, knocking and demanding I let her back inside. The knocking quickly got more violent. She started shouting "I KNOW YOU'RE F***ING IN THERE!" and "OPEN THE MOTHERF***ING DOOR!" Mind that we lived in this building with students in our program who all know each other, and all of them could hear her. Pretty quickly, Megan was rattling the handle of my door. Next, she began throwing herself at it, shoulder- first, trying to break it down

8.

Text - Meanwhile, I saw my heavy wooden door bending and buckling. I even heard it crack a bit. My RA was on duty in another building, so he sent three of his colleagues to de-escalate the situation. They brought Megan downstairs, where she revealed that the "stuff" she wanted was just the t-shirt and keychain that she gave me for my birthday. Whatever; I let her have those. I still just wanted this to be over.

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Text - However, once I shared my story with the resident life staff, they filed university paperwork to place a no- contact order between me and Megan. They also recommended I contact the campus police, who then told me I should get my stolen money back in small- claims court (I couldn't even get there without a car or money to pay for an Uber. Sorry, Judge Judy). At the request of the campus police, I also contacted the Title IX office at my school, sending them the story of everything you've r

10.

Text - Valentine's Day. I thought it was a joke, but they really did that. When the day of the hearing finally arrived, the no- contact order was still in effect, but a few of my friends had kept tabs on Megan. For starters, she failed all of her classes in the fall. Someone in my math course confessed that Megan had tried to sleep with him while she was dating me, and he had to repeatedly tell her no. Even worse, Megan kept telling a twisted version of the whole story to try and turn my friends

11.

Text - I arrived alone at the disciplinary board office, unsure what to expect. The board consisted of grad students, and the hearing was expected to run into the night. Unlike me, Megan did not come alone. She brought both of her parents as "character witnesses" (that wasn't even a thing here; this wasn't a real courtroom, as you'll soon see). And that's not all: Megan's parents also paid a lawyer to defend her against the charges. The board knew that was unnecessary, but Megan's parents believ

12.

Text - Jimmy had already read my account of the events from the fall, and thanks to my screenshots of Grubhub receipts, he said there was an okay shot of the charges sticking. Then I told him something l'd kept secret for months: When Megan tried to break down my door and I whipped out my phone to text my RA, I also filmed the whole thing. Jimmy couldn't get enough of the video. There was Megan, kicking and screaming and clearly trying to break into my dorm room. It was all the evidence I needed

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Text - In that instant, I realized that Megan really had convinced everyone I was the liar. In her version of the story, I gave her permission to buy food using my account. She told her parents that she'd asked me politely for her belongings, which l'd rudely hidden from her in my dorm room. In Megan's story, I was the sociopath trying to ruin her reputation. Before I unveiled the video, it was her word against mine.

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Text - I still didn't want revenge... Even after finding out that Megan tried to cheat on me. But when I saw her parents flipping out at the video: "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU DID THIS?!" and her lawyer raising hell: "THIS EVIDENCE WAS NOT PROVIDED IN PRE-TRIAL DISCLOSURE!" and a board member standing over him: "SIR, THIS IS NOT A COURT OF LAW. PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEAT" and him shouting "OBJECTION!" and her replying: "WE DON'T HAVE OBJECTIONS, THIS ISN'T A COURT OF LAW" and Jimmy, my new best

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Text - The board compromised. Her family paid back most of the money she stole ("most" because two of the six orders had the same price and the lawyer convinced the board I had duplicated an order), and Megan was forced to move into a different dorm building. This probably would've helped her anyway because every student in our program's building knew everything she'd done and lied about. They wouldn't speak to her, and no one wanted to be her roommate. By the time she had to move buildings, she

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Text - Last I heard, Megan returned as a part-time student, but I never saw her again because the no-contact order still stands. I'm now Facebook friends with the guy Megan tried to seduce. Oh, and Jimmy and I connected on LinkedIn. As for me, well... I no longer date "fairly aggressive" реople. TL;DR – My ex stole money for food, lied about it, tried to break down my door, lawyered up for a university hearing, got caught by video evidence, lost the support of her parents, lost respect of her fr

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Frustrated Scammer Trolled with Made-Up Neighbor Drama, Gives Up

Many of us see scammers as a dangerous nuisance, but played correctly, every scammer interaction can be an opportunity to get extremely weird toward a confused stranger. For more scammers messing up, here's the worst scammer the world's ever seen, as well as a scammer who got trolled with some Photoshop skills.

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Cheezburger Image 9542522624

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Cheezburger Image 9542522880

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Cheezburger Image 9542523136

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Cheezburger Image 9542523392

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Cheezburger Image 9542523648

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Cheezburger Image 9542522368

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Genius Solutions To Everyday Problems

Life only runs smoothly for so long before we encounter a nice curveball to throw us off our game. From there, it's up to us to not give into blind rage or panic, and instead troubleshoot that dang hiccup with calm and a little brainpower. These folks certainly implemented some clever solutions in the face of irritating problems. Check out some more life pro trips to get a leg up on life over here.

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Input device - ZoTes 2.4G Model: F-14 D SN F14576910928 Voltage/Current :3V/15MA Manufacturer master electronic technology co. LTD petant DURACELL RECHARGEABLE MAISE EN CARnge p nne

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Spoon - SyncMaster 124B350 Q-Search (Ctri+1)

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Toy

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Hair - ANG

5.

Plant - gsto.

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Land vehicle

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Electronics - Caps Lock Shift Al Ctrl En with lack ura Desie A Hom A Soue w samsungcomput 1. 31

8.

Tile - aturd

9.

People

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Balloon - 00

11.

Product - PAOFIC BLD

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Innovative and Sometimes Dumb Solutions

You can't fault people for their resourcefulness. But you can blame them for when their innovation is a patently stupid idea. Some ideas become OSHA enraging safety fails while others become low budget DIY solutions. It's kind of up in the air, really.

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Property - TO YN UOE

2.

Head

3.

Land vehicle - AILL

4.

Cable

5.

Land vehicle

6.

Stairs

7.

Wheelbarrow

8.

Child - Suppl PAINBOW LIGHT renatal One ential Nutrition for Mom & Baby Vegetables & Probiotics amin Supplement

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Pocari sweat - N CaSyr No Pimen ORIGINAL TATE ALWAYS BREWR HODS, OEST BARIY ANHEUSEE Hops. Barley.Bup Water. GHT Rice. ING UURANCI jour beer. CocaCola B HopS. Barley. BAUD Water.GRT Rice. KING U RAN

10.

Ferris wheel

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Vehicle

12.

Food - How to make sure nobody steals your candy. 216 MIxed egetable Gan Beane, GRA Mixed

13.

Land vehicle

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Water

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Motor vehicle

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Vehicle - your JACKPOTS CHEVROLET

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Motor vehicle

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Vehicle - FRSEL

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Green - My phone screen broke, maybe for the better 4:26 Phokes Biubaing Munichade Wae Satar Mark Hamill @HamillHimself A broken screen to be sure, but a welcome one

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Land vehicle

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Ipad - ITCH The Mape BatHurtinator

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Motor vehicle - MoneyGram CASA DAVID AASYALEAD AL POR MAT 134676

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Footwear

24.

Advertising - ne Mac Holdem Slot Texas 100 Mon Ma Mone Ma CT 997VN

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Land vehicle

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Electronics - 67% 9:48 Monclay, January 16 Press home to unlock

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Carrot - LG 5kg-

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Product

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Horse - TERRY

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Text - Initials: 77H JTH Short Answer #5 (10 points): Provide an example of a risk. No.

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Land vehicle

32.

Vehicle

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Medical Transportation Employee Maliciously Complies For Good

The worst thing to see is a rule that only serves to end up hurting someone else. This poor elderly lady just needed the extra help, but the inspector had to go and have zero chill, and complicate that process. Fortunately, the medical transportation driver was ready to disregard all that BS, and do what was necessary to help the elderly lady in need. 

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance u/witwats • 2y + Join "I don't work here anymore...hey, boss, got an opening?" M Worked for a Medical Transportation company that had a contract with Medicaid. One of their many rules was that you could not provide any assistance to the patient INSIDE of their house. One elderly lady had an old house with a very small foyer that you had to climb three steps to get to the main floor. The only other entrance was around back and up two and a half flights of rickety step

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Text - Upstairs. She's in a wheelchair. Common sense says take her in the front door, up three stairs and she's home on the level she lives on. Medicaid says take her up the outside stairs, dump her in the bedroom upstairs and let her worry about getting down to the living room level. We ignored their policy and took her in the front door anyway. A random inspection by a random inspector showed that we were not in compliance. We appealed, the inspector came out and saw the different options and

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Text - Nope. From then on, when the driver arrived at her house, he would get her out of the van in the sidewalk, and then get on the radio and tell the boss to shove his stupid job. Now that he was no longer an employee, he was free to assist this lovely person into her front door and up the stairs. Once finished, they would come back to the van, tell the boss they'd reconsidered, and ask for their job back. Boss was ALWAYS understanding and took them back, but very carefully noted the 10 to 15

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Text - Aftermath: We had contests to see who could have the most dramatic "I quit" scene. Medicaid noted our activities, but couldn't put a handle on how to stop it. Malicious Compliance achieved!! 33.6k 540 1 Share

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