The Onion Weekly Dispatch - June 07, 2012

Thu Jun 07, 2012 www.theonion.com

Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called 'Hard Case' 06.06.12 PALO ALTO, CA—A report released Tuesday by physicists at Stanford University has revealed that the entire known universe—including the whole of human civilization and the totality of all existing matter and energy—is actually the fiction... Ann Romney Says Husband Has Deeply Principled Side No One Ever Sees In Public News in Brief » New Preventative Drug Would Kill People Before They Get Alzheimer's First Disk Of Rosetta Stone Hungarian Just Urges Listeners To Rethink This Whole Thing 4-Year-Old Shows New Doll The Ropes American Voices » Republicans Block Equal Pay Bill “C’mon, everyone knows women don’t like nice paychecks. They’re only interested in salaries that are hard to get.” Herman Cain To Get Talk-Radio Show video » Scopes Trial: Teacher Indicted After Monkey Called To Testify Fails To Turn Into A Human The Onion reflects on the Johnny Carson’s final Tonight Show with special guest Saddam Hussein, the opening of the Brooklyn Bridge which revolutionized suicide in the hellhole of New York City, and the day Christopher Reeve came in last place in a h... opinion » My Great-Grandfather Started This Business With One Simple Mission That We Abandoned Decades Ago by Jeff Mueller, CEO, DKM Group By Jeff Mueller, CEO, DKM Group Radio News » Local Man Gets Stabbing Right On 47th Try

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You will receive a mention in an exhaustive New Yorker piece titled "6 Billion To Watch Under 100." Most Popular » Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called 'Hard Case' Following Ray Bradbury's Death, Thousands Of People Buy Kindle Version Of Book About Demise Of Paper Books Republicans Block Equal Pay Bill First Disk Of Rosetta Stone Hungarian Just Urges Listeners To Rethink This Whole Thing Herman Cain To Get Talk-Radio Show Ann Romney Says Husband Has Deeply Principled Side No One Ever Sees In Public

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