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2020/09/24

Man Transforms Rusty Nail Into Mini Sword and more...

Now, for a moment, just imagine if someone 100 years later were to discover the beautiful mini sword, and proceed to turn it into a rusty nail.
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Man Transforms Rusty Nail Into Mini Sword and more...


 In This Issue...


Man Transforms Rusty Nail Into Mini Sword
 

Now, for a moment, just imagine if someone 100 years later were to discover the beautiful mini sword, and proceed to turn it into a rusty nail. 

Submitted by: (via Bobby Duke Arts)

Tagged: impressive , cool , awesome , amazing , DIY , Video
       
 

Obnoxious Biker Gets Offended By Strong Handshake
 

It's a wonder how anyone has this kind of reaction, and then uploads the video of their unnecessary hostility because they somehow genuinely think that they're not in the wrong. It was just a handshake, bro. 

Submitted by: (via Fore Play Golf)

       
 

Soul Harvesting Halloween Decoration is Pretty Cool
 

It's about time when all those permanently gutted chunks of strip malls get their yearly residency from Spirit Halloween. We haven't seen anything quite like this before. And sure it's extremely frivolous and unnecessary, but hey man it's pretty cool that someone thought of this thing. And no, Spirit didn't pay us or anything, we just thought this was badass.

       
 

Man Misunderstands Common Phrase, Girlfriend's Dad Suffers A Shock As Result

It's hilarious how one simple and completely innocent misunderstanding can go on to inspire quite the hilarious chain of events. In this particular scenario, this guy misunderstood his girlfriend's dad when they were having a conversation, and basically ended up asking the poor guy if he could have his blessing to cheat on his daughter. At least they were all able to have a good laugh about it after the fact. 

1.

Text - r/tifu + Join u/ChainedEagle • 22h TIFU by telling my Girlfriend's Dad that our relationship was in decline and I would be asking his permission to have an affair. M This happened last month during a staycation in the U.K. with my (25M) girlfriend's (25F) family. My GF, her mum and her sister decided to go shopping for the day. Her dad, sister's boyfriend and I headed for the pub. We were about 3 pints in when the FU began.. GFs Dad: "OP, how long have you and my daughter been together no

2.

Text - Here is where it started to unravel. I couldn't recall the exact meaning of the phrase "7 year itch" but i thought it was meant to be a tongue in cheek question, basically asking if my GF was getting impatient about when I was to propose and when we would get married. Except, It doesn't mean that at all. Me: "Yes, in fact, I have been thinking about it more and more recently and I expect it to be on the cards soon. Of course, when the time comes, I will ask for your blessing." My GFs dad

3.

Text - After dinner that night, I asked my GF if her Dad was okay as he seemed off with me. I briefed her on the conversation in the pub. She stopped me halfway through, with a huge grin on her face, struggling to contain her laughter. She went on to explain that the phrase "7 year itch" is in fact a saying or popular belief that after 7 years, a relationship or marriage declines and often results in one of both parties having an affair.

4.

Text - So in essence, I told my girlfriend's father that I had been thinking about the decline of our relationship and when the time came, I would be asking his blessing to sleep with other women. Thankfully, my future in- laws are good people. Once I explained my FU and apologised, they laughed it off and we forgot about it :) TL;DR I misunderstood a common phrase and effectively told my girlfriend's father that our relationship was in peril and I would be asking his blessing to have an affair.

5.

Text - 1. There are a few people calling me out and calling me an arsehole for wanting to ask permission to marry my girlfriend. First of all, I would like to say this is a common and traditional practise in the U.K. one which I don't particularly agree with. That said, my girlfriends family are very traditional people and would likely be offended if I didn't ask. I am going to respect their traditions, even if I don't agree with them. My girlfriend is fully aware of this and agrees it is the ri

6.

Text - 2. Many people have questioned why the hell my girlfriends dad would ask that and they are trying to somehow psychoanalyse the situation. I have known my girlfriends dad for many years, we are good friends and often go to the pub, watch football etc. He didn't ask the question seriously and was joking. I think it was meant rhetorically and my response took him by surprise (probably the stupidity of it) and was trying to make sense of it before the girls turned up shortly and we had to lea

Submitted by:

       
 

Tumblr Thread: People's Brains Turn Off Around Pets

Seeing an adorable puppy or kitten is much like seeing an adorable baby; you're pretty much rendered senseless and devolve into some kind of nonsensical, muttering mess who is helplessly overwhelmed by adoration. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, and it's a condition that seems to affect us all at one point or another. 

1.

Text - systlin S ilurvmymarmotte Follow ... veinitas me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat lurknomoar Fun fact: when I see cute animals, I forget English and automatically revert to my native Hungarian. I don't know what bystanders make of me, reciting guttural gibberish to rabbits.

2.

Text - quizzicalqueek But the real question is, what are you SAYING to the rabbits? Is it RABBIT! rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny bunny awww cute bunnyyyyy'? lurknomoar Well, I usually say the Hungarian equivalent of 'bun bun bun lil bun look at your tiny spoon-shaped ears awww bun brave little lawnmower bun', but sometimes I say 'hey rabbits, my sister's gonna go to med school because I think everyone should know.

3.

Text - littlegaywitch I live in Japan, and I always revert to English to talk to small animals, and I was cooing at this tiny little fluff machine of a puppy in baby english like “hello you're so cute such a cute hello hello yess you're good" and the 70 year old Japanese lady that was walking him started to *translate the baby talk english into Japanese* for her pup. She wanted to be sure he understood it too.

4.

Text - sindri42 INTELLIGENCE INANITY OF STATEMENTS FAR HUMAN PROXIMITY TO CAT NEAR YOU'RE A KITTY! https://xkcd.com/231/ wind-voice ACCURATE.

5.

Text - eileenthedeafdog I was at a pet store with Eileen. A woman walked up to us and asked if she could pet her. Eileen's collar has 'Deaf Dog' embroidered on it. The lady asked about it, I confirmed, yes, she's deaf. The lady immediately switched to American Sign Language and asked her how was her day, was she being a good girl, she's so pretty. Eileen is wagging her tail excitedly, knowing that someone is talking to her. Source: veinitas

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Old Man Gets Carded, Has Boss Response

Some people like being carded because it makes them feel young. Other people hate it because it's a hassle. This person decided to ID a guy who likely didn't need to be ID'd, and the response was one you wouldn't expect. For a distinctly different ID checking story, here's a Karen who wanted her ID checked, but it turned out to be expired.

1.

Text - O r/TalesFromRetail - Posted by u/Definitely_a_Lizard 5 days ago Some can't take a joke, some own it. Short This is a story from a few years ago, but I just found this subreddit and it reminded me. I was a cashier at a local supermarket, and we have a law that if alcohol is being bought and the cashier estimates someone to be under 25, they have to ask for ID. While it offends some people, it is a pretty good way to get to check an ID and see if someone is over 18, the legal age to buy al

2.

Text - I decided to have sone fun with it, and whenever I estimated someone to be over 70, I would also ask them for an ID. Usually this got a laugh, sometimes got people offended (once a lady even called for a manager, who had to come to clarify to her that it was a joke. You know the type). it However, one man ruled the joke. He was just buying a few beers, and I asked him for his ID because he looked way into his 90s. He laughed, grabbed his wallet, and handed me a card in a plastic casing.

3.

Text - Still with a huge smile on his face, he asked me, "Do you know what that is?" It looked sort of like an ID, but I had never seen anything like that one. What I could tell was that it was old and something from the military. He said, "What you are holding now is my military ID from the second world war. Is that a valid ID here? Because I no longer have my drivers licence." It was at that point that I was at a loss for words. This man took my joke, handed it back and won. EDIT: wow! My very

4.

Text - wolfie379 403 points · 5 days ago Ever pull that on someone, and do a double-take that their ID looked like they were seriously underage - until you saw the birth century?

5.

Text - JSaltsea dog groomer 34 points · 5 days ago This poor girl was all set to sign adoption paper for a shelter cat when it came down that she was 16, not mid-30s. That makeup and hair was a bad choice... we were super embarassed to admit she looked ALOT older than she was, i wouldnt have carded her for booze in a million years.

6.

Text - techieguyjames 20 points · 5 days ago Did the ID even have an expiration date? Definitely_a_Lizard 2 23 points - 5 days ago None that I remember seeing, so valid it is!

Submitted by:

       
 

Delusional Buyer Wants to Test Drive Car at 170 MPH

With the dubious promise of 23 thousand in cash, this guy tried talking his way into taking the test drive of a lifetime. Different people have different attitudes, but many of us might seem uncomfortable with a total stranger ripping down the highway in your car, literally as fast as it can possibly go. You don't have to look around long to see people being dumb dumbs in cars. For another person who isn't sure what they're getting into, here's adelusional buyer in need of a cheap car who rejected a 3K civic.

1.

Text - 2002 Porsche 911 Carrera. $22,900 ... Owosso, MI Mark as Sold Mark as Paid Darrell I'll bring the cash with me and I want to hit the Express way and if it dose over 170 you got a deal..sounds good? Darrell This Saturday works for me anytime Darrell I like the car I want to make sure it will do over 170 l'm a street racer.

2.

Text - Sounds good? Yeah that's not going to work for me, sorry man Darrell Ya I figured you were B.S. ing on the top speed? But why? I'm not BSing on the top speed lol, I looked that up and you can confirm it if you want. I'm not going to let someone take a vehicle I own 100mph over the speed limit.

3.

Text - Darrell Why if I have the cash in hand? If it will do it we got a deal... What's the problem? Darrell If she dose it then it's my car I'm not going to let some person I don't know endanger myself and my vehicle trying to prove a top speed, that's insane Darrell I'm giving you your price not jurking you around. You can count it before we take her for a spin

4.

Text - Not going to happen, sorry If you're looking for top speed, this really isn't the right car for you anyways Darrell Well then good luck what I see is your afraid and the car maybe will do 140 top speed I just looked it up.. Your loss out of 23k Good luck in someone giving you your asking price.. You may get 20 to 21k that's about it...

5.

Text - Sorry your so afraid but the fact of the matter your car wont do it, I've never seen a V6 do over 120 ish without a supercharger or turbos.. Darrell Your absolutely right cuz you lied about the speed.. And your a chicken shit!! Good day liar Looser

Submitted by:

Tagged: buying , buy , cars , deal , wtf , demanding , lol , ridiculous
       
 

Comedy Gold From Twitter King, Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds and his notorious inventory of witty one-liners and clever comebacks are perfect for Twitter. If anything, observational tweets like Reynolds' tweet about parenting can serve to remind the rest of us that parenting is hard for everyone. Even if you're Deadpool himself, raising a baby is no small feat. 

1.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.

2.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow I love Words With Friends. Because once you start playing, the next time you look up, another Olympics has come and gone.

3.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Curiously, the best thing about a #Deadpool photoshoot, is singing Dolly Parton songs full blast while heavily, HEAVILY armed. Unexpected.

4.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow When I think out loud, it sounds nothing like Morgan Freeman.

5.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Ever notice halfway through a shower, that you're not in the shower at all? Just crying super hard? #HappyCanadaDay

6.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow When a driver's engulfed in road rage, saying they're going to shank you with a broken bottle of schnapps, just get out of my mom's way.

7.

Text - A Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".

8.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Call me old fashioned, but sending a dick pic is disgusting and lazy. Real love means sending a nice bouquet of penises.

9.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow My neighbors' safe-word is, Hufflepuff. I only know this because I happened to jog past their bedroom window for an hour.

10.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Crime sprees would be so much funnier if your get- a-way vehicle was Hodor from Game of Thrones.

11.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O Follow @VancityReynolds Love it when mom tells an anecdote about last night's dinner, but starts with her own birth and works her way forward in real time.

12.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.

13.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O Follow @VancityReynolds Next time you're grocery shopping, imagine David Attenborough narrating. It really next-levels the whole thing.

14.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Tough call. Continue watching election coverage - or tickle fight with a starving adult lion.

15.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.

16.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow I'm making an oil painting of my sister, Sarah. And it's more difficult than I thought because I don't have a sister.

17.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow I sometimes confuse watching political coverage with swan-diving into a swimming pool filled with liquid rabies.

18.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.

19.

Text - Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.

20.

Text - A Ryan Reynolds O @VancityReynolds Follow I'm teaching my daughter that the sun goes down each night because it's mad at her. Probably gonna write a book on parenting at some point.

21.

Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.

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Weirdest Orders Sandwich Store Employees Got

The customer is always right unfortunately, so from time to time, Subway employees have to make horrible sandwiches. Honestly, it's not the employee's job to eat it so it's no skin off most people's backs. That said, people's sandwich decisions can be memorable. For a different kind of memorable sandwich encounter, here's a Subway employee who had to tell a customer that mayo isn't vegan.

1.

Text - Drinkablefeast 36.8k points · 13 hours ago 2 & 115 More I worked at a Subway for a couple months after high school. While working there I had a very polite customer, who was pregnant at the time, come in every other week or so and order the same footlong ham sandwich. What made this sandwich so strange was that she would ask for a tonne of black olives. Like MULTIPLE, whole handfuls of black olives. So much, that it was hard to close up and wrap the sandwich without some olives spilling o

2.

Text - Some time had passed where I didn't see her come in anymore. Until one day, I see her walk in with a stroller and her brand new baby daughter. She brought her in so I could meet the "olive baby". She thanked me for all the times I made her olive sandwich just the way she liked it and then proceeded to order a ham sandwich. Only this time, she asked for just a few olives. I quit a short time after but I still think about that sandwich and the olive baby from time to time.

3.

Text - Oatm3a1s 31.8k points · 18 hours ago "What can I get for you?" 2 0 2 "I'll get a 6-inch Honey Wheat, just condiments." "Just condiments?" "just condiments. All of them, if you don't mind." That day ruled.

4.

Text - ajc1239 11.7k points · 17 hours ago a Used to have a guy come in regularly to order a foot long on white, double mayo, salt pepper. He then sat in the lobby and ate the whole thing

5.

Text - Flip-Ya-4real 2.7k points · 15 hours ago · edited 11 hours ago Worked at subway and had a customer ask me for guacamole. She insisted I give her the guac without avocados. I explained there's no such thing, then she pulled a Karen and asked for the manager. The manager explained what we all already know. The lady got louder and pointed at a pic on her phone she took last time she ordered it. The picture was of Pico de Gallo. That, ladies and gents, was her "Avocado free guacamole." I took

6.

Text - buttcheeseahoy 26.4k points · 16 hours ago E & 2 3 & 14 More I worked at Subway many years ago. There was a couple that would come in semi-regularly and she wanted just a double helping of American cheese on white bread. No veggies, no condiments. Just cheese. I never charged her for the extra cheese since I figured the veggies she wasn't getting offset it. Eventually she started asking for more and more cheese until it was easily 10x what came on it. She must have been bummed when I quit

7.

Text - AssociationJumpy 26.2k points · 15 hours ago a 3 24 e2 & 6 More We had frozen egg disks that we were supposed to heat in the oven. I say egg, but really it was more of a frozen circle of egg whites with a yellow piece in the middle (that may or may not be missing depending on luck of the draw). This one guy would come in every shift I had and order just the egg circle, but didn't want us to heat it up. We handed him hard, frozen, disgusting looking, disks that sounded like rocks when bang

8.

Text - LeftHandMorty9 20.8k points · 15 hours ago 2 2 2 2 & 4 More Was getting breakfast at this place called "The great Canadian Bagel Company". The girl ahead of us gets a breakfast sandwich with extra mayo and then says: "Ilike a serious amount of mayo, more than you think is comfortable". The guy does a solid 4 servings and she shakes her head in disgust/shame and is like "No.. I'm actually messed up, I need more mayo". Took everything in me not to laugh as it happened.

9.

Text - Berntonio-Sanderas 17.8k points · 15 hours ago · edited 10 hours ago 2 2 2 2 & 2 More Worked at a small-town Subway for 5 years in High School and university. We had this guy come in that we called The Mountain. He was at least 300lbs and probably 6'5". He always came in wearing full fleece camo outfit. Anywho, his order would always be the same, which is why I remember it so well. The guy would get a footlong with the BBQ rib patty (the most disgusting thing on the menu) AND the veggie p

10.

Text - lusiris 14.7k points · 17 hours ago I worked at a subway a long time ago and a guy would order two full bags of lettuce on his sandwich every day. Imagine 2 pounds of lettuce on some bread. He would order often enough that I knew to go in the back and grab two full bags just for him.

11.

Text - kusanagisan 14.1k points · 17 hours ago · edited 10 hours ago 3 6 & 23 More Not a worker, but a Grubhub driver. Someone ordered a meatball sub from Subway that had nothing on it but meatballs, the sauce, and about four times as much mayonnaise as would go on a regular sandwich. That was it. He made two orders for the same thing within two hours, and I delivered them both. Edit: He wasn't high and it wasn't a mistake. He said his sister tried it and liked it so much that they split it and

12.

Text - Crazehness 13.4k points · 14 hours ago P 6 43 & 19 More Don't work there any more, but the one order that sticks in my mind above everything else was one time a guy came in on the phone to order two sandwiches and he explained one was for his 7 months pregnant wife so to please make it right, he has a list of exactly what she wants. So I made it exactly how it was written down, then made his and he paid and all was good in the world. Then maybe ten minutes later the phone rings and I answ

13.

Text - So I hand the man his sandwich and answer the phone and there is this woman on the phone hysterically crying on the other end and so I ask if she's alright and she informs me that she called earlier and she felt horrible about yelling at me because she realized she wrote it down wrong and it wasn't my fault and the whole time I'm just awkwardly telling her that it's okay, no big deal we got it taken care of, you're okay don't worry about it, It's no big deal. And then she, still sobbing,

14.

Text - insert_password 12.6k points · 16 hours ago · edited 15 hours ago A 2 & 6 More Ok i got a few. Weirdest or at least most disgusting one was this guy who would come in regularly and order a Tuna Pizza. We would literally take the tuna salad and just put a layer of it across the pizza then cover it with cheese and bake it for a few minutes. Holy shit the smell that would come off of that things was terrible. Another was guy that ordered everything on a footlong. I mean every single kind of

15.

Text - Last, i had a guy who would basically eat all the black pepper we had in stock. The first time i saw him and we got towards the end of me making his sandwich he was like "i want you to add a lot of black pepper, like just keep on going until you think wow there's no way anyone would want this much black pepper on a sandwich, and then double that. I want you to add so much black pepper to the point that you think its going to be a health concern to actually serve this to me." And well, i'm

16.

Text - anotherouchtoday 11.8k points · 15 hours ago · edited 6 hours ago I had to cut extra holes in swiss cheese gor an eight year old. Been the strangest resquest since we opened in 2007.

17.

Text - Youpunyhumans 9.9k points · 18 hours ago At mcdonalds a guy came in and said he had lost a bet and as a result had to order a double cheeseburger with 17 extra patties and bacon and cheese between each patty. I dont remember how much it cost, but we had to tape several wrappers together just to cover it up and keep it sort of together. I think we gave him a knife and fork to eat it with.

18.

Text - billbapapa 9.0k points · 17 hours ago 2 Worked at a "pizza place" for like 5 min during uni. Guy used to come in and order a calzone stuffed with just ketchup. No cheese, no actual tomato sauce...

19.

Text - TooShiftyForYou 8.0k points · 17 hours ago & O Used to work in a deli that also made some simple breakfast items in the mornings. One day a lady ordered a western omelette, hold the eggs. I had to specify 3 times that she did not want any eggs in the omelette. We made her a salad of diced ham, onions, green bell peppers, with salsa and she seemed pleased with this.

20.

Text - motorbike-t 7.9k points · 13 hours ago 2 6 & 18 More Not a sandwich shop but: I was a pizza maker for years at a pretty nice restaurant. Think Carrabas but local owned and French trained head chef. Anyway, a buss full of special needs folks and their helpers came in one day kind of in between lunch and dinner like about 2:30 ish, they all order food and are having a great time. Italian music blasting delicious homemade bread at the table, everyone's having a great time. The order comes to

21.

Text - GentlemanGallimaufry 5.8k points · 15 hours ago Worked the night shift for Subway during college. Had a regular come in at 3am usually that would request that we toast the shit out of his sandwich. I'm talking the whole thing was basically charcoal. First time he came in while i was on shift, I pulled his sandwich out of the toaster and he told me to put it back in...and again... and again. I thought he was a drunk guy fucking with me. Apparently he really liked the taste of burnt everyth

22.

Text - Ginger-spice 5.8k points · 16 hours ago My town had a lot of foreign exchange students from South Korea and they would always order the meatball subs with scoops of "seafood sensation" which was just mayo and imitation crab. Then have it toasted, it smelled horrible. Also had a guy that could barely talk he was so high wanted every sauce on his chicken bacon ranch, it was more soup by the end. Then he gets to the register and he remembers he doesn't have any money and walks away. My manag

23.

Text - Rockatanskyo 5.4k points · 16 hours ago Worked at Subway, this 50 year old trucker asked me to toast a Tuna sandwich, put extra extra pickles and sprinkle 2 Splenda packages on top, that was all the sandwich had

24.

Text - HuntyrS14 4.7k points · 18 hours ago Worked at a Subway and a guy ordered a meatball sub, no sauce, but with copious amounts of vinegar. Also worked at Sonic and had multiple times where a lady ordered tomato sandwiches. Just tomatoes and a bun.

25.

Text - boogers19 4.5k points · 16 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago Quiznos. Mostly working with teens. This one kid brings in a bunch of tupperwares at the beginning of his shift. Weird, but I don't care. End of his shift (edit 3: not closing time, we had a line-up) and his mom shows up to give him a lift. He starts filling the tupperwares with chili. Turns out his mom tried it one day and loved it. Whole family tried: they all love it. They'd made a deal with our boss to buy bulk chili every week

26.

Text - Jean_Keys 4.2k points · 15 hours ago I worked at a Burger King my junior year of high school (Not a sandwich shop, but play along). I was on specialty board (chicken and fish mainly). This order came through for an original chicken with "HHHH mayo". "H" in the training stood for heavy or extra. I asked my manager if it was a typo and they said no this guy comes in once a week for that sandwich. I swear, by the time my manager said the sandwich was "proper", the mayo was thicker than the c

27.

Text - CashC4rtier 4.2k points · 14 hours ago Not an order but my boyfriend had a customer come in with a Kermit the frog puppet. The customer spoke through the puppet, had my boyfriend hand the change to the puppet, and also slide the sandwich to the puppet

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80s Fashion Statements That Show Why We Moved On

While the 80s technically started 40 years ago, it's probably best to not think about that part. The 80s did some things with hair that many people are still just now recovering from. And while it was a time of loud pants filled with questionable butts, there are still things to miss. Here's some powerful nostalgia for the 80s and 90s kids.

1.

People

2.

Fun - GBH

3.

Friendship - GBH

4.

People

5.

Eyewear

6.

Hair

7.

Batman

8.

People

9.

Hair

10.

Suit actor

11.

Clothing - WHP IT O A PLATNTH SOCAL TM

12.

Sitting

13.

Suit - 2859

14.

Dancer - LYCRA

15.

Musical instrument

16.

Fun

17.

Land vehicle - hunnel FA MY 56 825

18.

Fun

19.

People

20.

Fun - BA

21.

Grass - BB UCLE FORORESY

22.

Fashion

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Prized Tumblr Gems From Tumblr's Best

We've always had a soft spot in our hearts for the wonderful minds of the Tumblr world. In this day and age we can all benefit from effective ways to keep our troubled minds distracted for a while. In the case of Tumblr, the rabbit holes and strange, hilarious observations are seemingly endless. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread that hits on recipe stereotypes from around the world.

1.

Text - Went out for a chinese meal with my family last night. At the end of the night I was looking through the bill and found this. It's worth mentioning at this point that I told the staff I have a severe seafood allergy. k1/2 19.50 ck Thai hi ck C'nut Chi ck SS 7.90 Crispy Chil1 8.50 i Beef 2 Rice Special 9.40 7.50 7.90 NO 01 NO FUCKING S O HRIMP OR HE D IE 21 Choo Pan 10.00 E arocketumbler NO. NO FUCKING SHRIMP OR HE DIE. idealfry This is what l'd call a responsible restaurant service. Well

2.

Text - gasmaskaesthetic The weirdest instance of "getting my wires crossed" l've ever experienced: I had a piece of candy at my desk. My intention was to simultaneously eat the candy and start a brief work task. I put the candy in my mouth and felt a surge of alarm as I was convinced, for a fraction of a second, that I had somehow eaten the task I was about to start.

3.

Text - RE tilthat TIL in the story of the Jewish Exodus from Egypt, the Torah uses the singular word tzefardeah for frog, not the plural tzefard'im. Some interpret this as meaning Egypt was plagued by a singular frog. via reddit.com lielith It's a beutiful day on Egypt and you're a terrible frog

4.

Text - katy-l-wood Today at work a girl at my register was heatedly explaining to her mother that wearing a dinosaur costume to her school's decades day was, in fact, perfectly acceptable because her teachers did not specify any particular decades. smallest-feeblest-boggart the kids are alright Source: katy-l-wood

5.

Text - rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv rich ppl are like so easily convinced abt ghosts I remember growing up it was near this vacant lot and whenever I broke a toy instead of going to face the wrath of my mother I would fucking bury it in that lot and then sure enough, some dude tried to develop the land and found a ton of buried rotten dolls and shit and told everyone it was haunted it's been over a decade and that lot is still vacant johnnyfourballs You single handedly tanked the value of som

6.

Text - sandersstudies There is something very special about driving around at 3-4 AM. Like, am I up ridiculously late? Am I up ridiculously early? The world may never know. sandersstudies *sees other car* and what the FUCK are you doing up synebluetoo Me driving around at 3:30 AM: tee hee what goblin mischief could I be up to? the world will never know Me seeing another car: DEMON! DEMON!

7.

Product - pawsthomasanderson All 3 generations of Godzilla suit wearers walking down the street together returnofpowerbastard that street must be huge

8.

Text - richiessneakers so today in my geography class the kid that sits next to me wasn't there. so about five minutes into class and the door swings open and the kid comes in and our teacher goes "you're late" but the kid doesn't answer and just trudges miserably up to the teachers desk and slides a note across to him. so my teacher opens up the note and reads it aloud and it says: “my best friend dared me to talk in only crazy frog quotes for the whole day and I was too stubborn to say no." an

9.

Text - muslimmafia my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn't even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and l'll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life. Sourc

10.

Text - RE tilthat Follow TIL squirrels’ brains grow in size during the fall to help them remember where they bury their nuts. Their brains are smaller the rest of the year via reddit.com pon-raul Follow post-nut clarity

11.

Text - garfimbo thinking of the time I ordered olive garden online and I put "please speak to me in an Italian accent" in the special requests category and completely forgot about it, and when I went to pick it up the guy comes out and goes "eyyy I got-a your-a order bappada boopity!" and when I told him he didn't actually have to do it he was like "a-nooo | was-a looking forward to it! I was-a the only one-a brave enough to do it!" Source: garfimbo 8,147 notes

12.

Text - lawbreaker13 •.. S anxietyproblem Dear September, please play nice. awordshesays please, please gurl-why-u-like-this September? Isn't it currently March 174th? lawbreaker13 I was so confused by this post because I genuinely thought "isn't September in three months?" It's in 6 days

13.

Text - pteapotdactyl ... * weareallfromearth Follow getlitaesthetic Follow Today 10:12 I want 6 pet sloths so I can name them after every sin except for sloth Today my wife texted me this, and then immediately called me to make sure I got it because it was "an urgent message". Source: getlitaesthetic 56,433 notes

14.

Text - targent what is it about being on a plane that makes people go buckwild for ginger ale literally everyone be ordering it franklyfranchia ginger ale is supposed 2 help settle ur stomach if ur nauseous so ppl get it on planes if they get planesick A transhumanisticpanspermia ginger grow in the ground so it keeps you connected to god's earth while you're thousands of feet up in the Heathen Tube

15.

Text - Paris @sweatingalready I'm late to work cuz I followed this dog for 3 blocks in the wrong direction Sounds like a reasonable excuse to me catwithbenefits modern day siren

16.

Text - skeleslime-phantom Popular Opinion Mint Ice Cream and other mint flavored foods taste GREAT and y'all can't change my mind sushinfood op do you accept constructive criticism skeleslime-phantom choose your next words carefully, dear sushi sushinfood mint suck skeleslime-phantom YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE DISRESPECT MY MINTS

17.

Text - onion-souls S mister-clean-official Seguir tilthat Seguir TIL bacteria scream when they die via reddit.com mister-clean-official Seguir I know. -Mr. Clean Fuente: tilthat 1.907 notas

18.

Text - RE tilthat TIL Despite its association with the supernatural, a full moon rarely occurs on Halloween. The next time this will happen is Halloween night of 2020. via reddit.com A silverjirachi Follow :/ 187,656 notes

19.

Text - KREI i tilthat TIL on the set of The Princess Bride, André the Giant once "let out a 16 second fart and brought production to a standstill." Nobody said anything except director Rob Reiner, who said "Are you OK, André?" to which André replied, "I am now boss." via reddit.com lizardsister legends only asexualbrittaperry im crying the lack of a comma meant that for a full minute I interpreted this as him declaring himself the new boss

20.

Text - rabioneab: i think my neighbourhood deserves a sitcom because there's • me, the teen blogger • a house with 8 nuns • a drug dealer who drives a hummer a scottish man who only ever wears a kilt and mows his lawn at 3 am • an elderly couple who drive everywhere on their lawn mower • a peacock who has been roaming the neighbourhood for years and no one knows why or where it came from I'd watch the shit outta that show

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Scientific Diagrams That Look Like Jokes

Sometimes it takes a doodle to make a textbook funny, and other times it just takes a lack of context. Here are some scientific diagrams that probably serve some actual purpose when placed in their original context, but otherwise look weird, stupid and creepy. Without that though, boy do they look dumb and awesome.

1.

Cartoon - 140 Intelligence and Special Talent WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU CUT YOURSELF? BLEED Figure 8.2 Example of Comprehension subtest

2.

Line art

3.

Bird - FIGURE 5.6 Illustration of the pigeon body and human hand to illustrate the functional nature of the bird's beak as a combined thumb-and-forefinger grasper and mouth.

4.

Illustration - FIGURE 9.18 Perhaps this is how early monkeys really got from Africa to South America. ाटीी टे

5.

Facial expression - HdP - La Familia 00 Jorge Anela Juan Victoria Isabella Ian Adrión

6.

Text - The Essential Guide to Effect Sizes Type I error (false positive) Type Il error (false negative) You're You're not pregnant pregnant re 3.1 Tuna

7.

Wildlife - A healthy cow lying on its side is not immobilized; it can rise whenever it chooses.

8.

Green - A) B) F.

9.

Adaptation - 4 As the dog learns what behavior is being reinforced, it eventually learns to produce the desired behavior: surfing!

10.

Text - 3 (a) Fig. 2.1 shows the Earth in space. Earth Fig. 2.1

11.

Domestic pig - Figure 7.8c. Unsuccessful attempt to lift pig.

12.

Text - The Newman Design Squiggle Uncertainty / patterns / insights Clarity / Focus Research Concept Design

13.

Text - Probability of 10% homosexuality 8 Right-handed 4 2 Non-right-handed 1 2 3 4 5 Number of older brothers

14.

Canidae - wwnVerizon 4:20 PM (Albums chihuahua or muffin 76% Select gether wy orlentation velings, al 0 conici , or that the INt mema tions licult to buil c distinction FIGURE 2-2 Muffins or Chihuahuas? for examp mapection y M Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman's fantastic book Thinking, Fast and Slow, he makes the compelling point that there are two very different , object war ways in which your brain works. You are aware of and in con- scious control over the first set of processes ("thinking

15.

Junk food - are in forms that your bod broken apa sible to not absorb and are combined with molecules that your body cannot use. As the taco travels through your digestive Carbohydrates Lipids "waters smell or se think of foc and near th Protein duction saliva pla gestion. food, mak also cont break do plex carb Figure 3 Biting in its phys makes also inc food se into co

16.

ue affect fighting behaviour 267 Figure 11.24. Flies boxing. Fruit flies engage in contests over food.

17.

Photograph - ure ble is ney ns For es ve re ct at RADAR WAS n 14 of Not a good idea. 1 Ben Molyneux Sports/Alamy

18.

Ferret - Fig. 4.8 This flip flop is mine!

19.

Graham cracker - Unwanted sexual urges? Have a graham cracker and calm yourself down.

20.

Text - 6 facial expressions in mice disgusted happy aching scared sick fleeing

21.

Line - RDECOM The Integrated Survivability "Onion" TARDEC Don't Be Seen Don't Be Acquired Don't Be Penetrated Don't Bе Hit Don't Be Killed TECHNOLOGY DRIVEN. WARFIGHTER FOCUSED. 2

22.

Cartoon - is n. Move! ce nt gs ge This will not work. te te Only force has

23.

Cat - tho hist What are the effects of sub ecstasy? and fere mea that colo as b blue is a ranks are pe

24.

Training by laboratory workers has overcome the puma's fear of fircarms

25.

Font - 1 m s/ Consider a spherical cow.

26.

Muscle - Muscles make the body move.

27.

Marine mammal - Drawing of an adult in 1884

28.

Illustration - Non- Contacting Sensor Contacting Sensor Invasive- Contacting Sensor Sample Removal System FIGURE II.5.13.5 Comparisons of the interaction between the sensor (nose) and analyte (fish) for different types of detection.

29.

Text - Bok! F. wind Figure 2.13 A chicken is blown into a wallI.

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Parents Stick It To Property Owner, Purchase Land, Sell It To Neighbor

Man, this property owner sounds like a cruel piece of work. Fortunately, the parents were able to engineer and successfully execute a pro revenge where they were able to blindside the property owner with an "offer" that ended up being $5K less than the original offer. The fact that they were able to reduce the amount of money the property owner made, on top of being able to give Sally her land is something special. Check out some more juicy pro revenge drama with this tenant who took revenge on an evil landlord.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/IAmDinosaurROWR • 2y + Join Land Deal Gone Awry - A Tale of Vengeance Disclaimer: this tale of revenge was thought up, and carried out, by my parents and neighbor. My parents live in a nice, quiet neighborhood. For the most part, everyone gets along well and the neighborhood exists in its own little bubble; the only time you see people from outside the neighborhood bubble is on Halloween.

2.

Text - Our backyard neighbor, a single, middle aged woman who we'll call Sally, was kind of adopted by our family and came to all holiday parties and family get togethers. We all love her and that made our revenge all the more satisfying. Sally had a next door neighbor who owned a lot between Sally's house and her own. When the neighbor expressed an interest in selling the lot, Sally offered to purchase it and a deal was made. Unfortunately, Sally's neighbor died prior to the land deal being fin

3.

Text - My parents and Sally hatched a plan, though. My parents, whom RBF did not know, had an attorney draft a purchase offer for the empty lot. They offered several thousand less than Sally's original offer had been. RBF hemmed and hawed, but came back with a counter offer equivalent to Sally's original offer. My parents offered her five thousand less and she accepted. After the sale was finalized, my parents sold the lot to Sally for the same price they purchased it; Sally ended up receiving t

4.

Text - Another interesting tidbit - after purchasing the lot, my parents notified the town of their intent to not develop the property so nobody can ever build a single family dwelling on it. Killed two birds with one stone - no downhill neighbor and the property stays in the "family." TL;DR - Parents purchased property to sell to neighbor whom property owner refused to sell to, resulting in a loss of money to the original property owner. 3.1k 171 1 Share

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Contractor Dodges Delusional Choosing Beggar

The level of entitlement in this scenario is truly beyond comprehension. We just don't understand how people end up losing touch with reality like this. There's no possible way to reason with anyone approaching a negotiation like this. 

1.

Text - Thanks for getting back to me so quickly, but that price is way too high. My budget is around $5,000. Hi - when we went over the design, all the materials you chose were far over $5,000. The custom tiles 60 x 30 are worth more than $5,000 alone, not to mention all the other things included in the Scope of work.

2.

Text - What Tiles can't be that much, I can get them cheaper myself.

3.

Text - If you'd like I can send over new paperwork where you are responsible for the purchases and I am simply the installer. I'd need a list of the stuff you plan on buying so I can quote appropriately. If I'm buying the stuff you should have a flat fee install, no?

4.

Text - Well I have to base it off what we are installing. If you decide to go with quality items, they can take longer or be harder to install. If you go with simple stuff I can probably help you out. Simple stuff? Excuse me? I don't think we are on the same page when we spoke last time I made it clear quality is key. I don't know what you expect with a $5,000 budget.

5.

Text - I expect to get what we agreed on. You told me you can start Monday - I expect that to happen at the price we agreed upon. No price has been agreed on. I am not sure where the confusion is - but let me help explain. You accumulated over $30,000 in materials for this bathroom. Some of which have huge wait times, like the custom tiles which take 8-12 weeks and are imported from Italy. I told you I can start the demolition and run the lines, but that would mean you have no bathroom while we

6.

Text - Look we agreed upon the scope of work, you have to do what we discussed. Go to a McDonald's, take a look at their bathroom, that's what I can give you for $5,000. Rude. There's a million contractors, it's Manhattan. Imagine being so entitled - you are not that good. True I don't deserve you. Good luck with your project! Thanks, goodbye.

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Plumber's Terminator-Inspired Ad is A Lot
 

You've gotta hand it to Radiant Plumbing and Air Conditioning for putting together whatever on God's green earth this thing is. We're totally blind regarding their acumen at putting a toilet back together, but they seem pretty damn good at putting a toilet-themed sci-fi parody together. It's got that local-business-vibe. It's got lasers. It's got everything, man.

       
 
 
   
   
   
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