Design Failures That Didn't Work Out and more...

In a world where people are constantly asked to make new things, some of those things are not going to work out exactly as planned. That means we get some design fails that were someone's one job. Sometimes it's an accidentally filthy sign, sometimes it's a toilet that drains to nowhere. There are infinite ways to end up with design failures that don't quite cut it.

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Fictional character - ICHPIC Little berby jersus

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Cartoon - SHERRI Xx excited. X is for FAIR I can hardly wait!

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Text - PAUCH merry christmas to my wonderful brother and boyfriend

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Text - Dating Siblings Growing Closer Together CROWING UD TOGETHER Top: Todd Mary Nom Middle lef with sister Middle rig and Ashle Bottom:2 Braxton S Opposite Top lefu Anthony Top Rigl and Ch Botnon Blacknu Fuhm Bottoe Plesek SENIO * '01 GIRLS vout by: Jackie Sackett

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Text - NOW HIRING DONUTJOBS.COM Tevored suger fiCh COCONUTCKD Not the greatest URL, in hindsight

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Material property - ROSWHEEL 面料:织物里料:织物 Fabric: fabrics Lining: fabrics 请仔细参阅并遵守洗涤注意事项 Read washing instructio carefuly bofore using

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Green - FLIP ZONE NO DIVING NO BACKFLIPS NO DIVING

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Magazine - 79.99 69.99 stockir $8 Thave to pee CANDY LAND Matching save $10 24.99 Sale g 34a NER Doonmiands Lawbringer baster UNO 4.50 Sale Board or card game stocking atutlers 2.99 Patrol exclusive

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Property - PA BIKE LANE E Modelo Ln NOW LEASING Hthrua

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Signage - 1ST Inter-Course Competition GI G2 G3| GA G5 C6 G7 TOTAL MECHANICAL ENGINEERING CIVIL ENGINEERIA

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Advertising - GOD IS NOWHERE CHRISTMAS EVE AT FRESHWATER CHURCH NACONIA CAMPUS EAST EC 24 | 2, 3, & 4pm ST. BONI CAMPUS DEC 24 | 2,3, 4, & Spm LAMAR

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Cushion - CLOSING 1ONA Sea Marblee Deco Foil

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Text - LOVE ISEES ALL COLORS RACISM I HURTS

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Poster - STAR WARS THE RISE Or SKYWALKER SEG STAR WARS THE RISE OF SKYWALKER MTRCB RATING: G SYNOPSIS: The surviving Resistance faces the First Order once more in the final chapter of the Skywalker saga.is HIV positive, and how he has to make choices no child should ever have to make. CAST: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver GENRE: Action,Fantasy,Sci-Fi ROBINSONS MOVIEWO@LD

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Signage - PRN For FamiliesTM www.prnforfamilies.com

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Font - SCUVENIRS SPORT.&GIFTS 6735 SOUVENIRS AND SPORT.COLLECTIONS Is NO TOUAS 3Tshirts For $9.99 PORT.&C SPORT.COLLECTIONS

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Tagged: design fail , FAIL , design , you had one job , one job , lol , ridiculous , building , mistake , funny , funny signs , stupid

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Choosing Beggar Doesn't Understand How Time Works

This choosing beggar either has no idea how time works, or they were just trying to troll the crap out of a reasonable seller. Doesn't seem like this particular negotiation is going to work out.

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Text - * * O 68% 10:30 PM Salvador Salvador Bakersfield, CA **(8) $100 60 55 min ago 80 54 min ago 75 if you could bring it to me 52 min ago Where are you located? 52 min ago Near Fairview 49 min ago Sure 49 min ago Tomorrow? 47 min ago I can do it before 11 Message.

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Text - * * O 68% 10:30 PM Salvador Salvador Bakersfield, CA **(8) $100 I can do it before 11 47 min ago Around 3 maybe 45 min ago I have work from 12 -7 44 min ago So is 3 good? 36 min ago I work from 12 -7 35 min ago PM or am? 31 min ago Pm 28 min ago Are you available at 3 pm food Message.

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Text - * N O 68% 10:30 PM Salvador Salvador Bakersfield, CA (8) $100 28 min ago Are you available at 3 pm food 28 min ago Good* 26 min ago I work from 12 pm - 7 pm 22 min ago That's why 19 min ago Correct 19 min ago So 3 it is? 8 min ago I can't do 3 pm because l'll be at work from 12 pm to 7 pm 7 min ago Message.

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Text - 68% 10:31 PM Salvador Salvador Bakersfield, CA ** (8) $100 I can't do 3 pm because l'll be at work from 12 pm to 7 pm 7 min ago Do you mean you work 12AM to ZAM? 6 min ago No I work from 12 PM to 7 PM 5 min ago 3 pm is earlier then 7 4 min ago Yes it is, but I will be at work, working, from 12 PM to 7 PM so I will be physically unable to meet with you to sell you the microphone 3 min ago Because I will be at work at 3 PM Message...

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Tagged: conversation , ridiculous , texting , choosing beggar

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Person Accidentally Applies to College as Fictional Race from Dungeons and Dragons

We're not sure if you get any scholarships for claiming to be part lizard-person, but if anyone in the admissions office knows anything about DnD this person is screwed. Since it's this person's parents fault for perpetuating snake-descent, here are salty adults sharing the unjust lies they were told as kids.

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Text - O r/tifu - Posted by u/stplkinatmswn 2 days ago TIFU Unknowingly Applying to College as a Fictional Race. So little backstory, to my knowledge I'm just about a 8th Native American. My parents didn't raise me spiritual or anything but I knew they did have a little shrine they liked to keep some things and whatever it was just part of the house I had friends ask me about and it was nothing crazy.

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Text - They are also really fond of leathers and animal skins which.. Cringe but anyway. When I got old enough I asked my parents what tribe we were and I was told the Yuan-Ti. Now I didnt know anything of it but I did tell my friends in elementary school and whatever and bragged I was close to nature (as you do). So recently I applied to colleges and since you only have to be 1/16 native I thought I had this in the bag.

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Text - Confirmed with my parents and sent in my applications as 1/8th Yuan-ti tribe. I found out all these years that is a fictional race of snake people from Dungeons and Dragons. TLDR: since I was a kid my parents told me I was native Yuan- ti but actually they were just nerds and I told everyone I know that I was a fictional snake person.

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Text - Skald-Excellion 11.8k points · 2 days ago As soon as I read Yuan-Ti I busted up laughing. stplkinatmswn 2 4.6k points · 2 days ago Have your laugh lol CloudCurio 5.0k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day The most funny thing is that in DnD lore Yuan Ti are actively infiltrating the human society by sending their most humanoid-like members to live in human towns. So... a little prank or a worldwide scheme? :) EDIT: lol thank you for award, kind stranger! stplkinatmswn 1.9k points · 1 day ago

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Text - Thurmicneo 3.3k points · 2 days ago Yaun ti get improved charisma.. So I think that makes you better at lying... Your parents are clearly yaun ti 1 stplkinatmswn / 1.1k points · 1 day ago + This contradicts itself but yes compelling hrrmm

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Tagged: games , ancestors , FAIL , role playing , lol , story , dumb , funny , college , dungeons and dragons

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Unlikely Occurrences and Rare Moments

There are just bound to be rare moments that go against all odds. Some are absolutely wild occurrences where life and death hung in the balance. Others are like, a double onion. They're both interesting and unlikely, but some have a little more gravity.

1. Tied at 69 with 69 seconds and jerseys add up to 69

Sports - GAME TREND4 TES-3LEAD CHANGES-ILARGEST LEADSEDN HAL BN T 13 SETON HALL 11OREGON 50: FOULSS BOnuS 3 Capitals 1:09 S:69 22 9 30 2nd SIOINUS bers 4 FINAL Wiergimia Tech s B N oESPEE lferCoeln

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Facial expression - In 1981, a pediatrician saved the life of a 3.2lb premature baby boy by working around the clock and beating the odds to stabilize him. In 2011, the same pediatrician was pinned inside a burning vehicle after a car collision, but was saved by a paramedic who turned out to be the premature baby he saved 30 years earlier.

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Text - GamerGreen Congratuiations! ay. Nin. Esh In! You just earned some G's! FCKR 69 Go to www.GamerGreen.com and enter your code to unlock your G ve all hang tags and plastic attachments before giving this toy te For ages 3 and up. © 2018 National Entertainment Network, LLC MADE IN CHINA. Codes expire on 12/31/19

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Car - In 1895 there were only 2 cars in the entire state of Ohio yet they still ended up crashing into each other.

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People - Jim Lewis Jim Springer Meet the Jim Twins who are identical twins. They were separated at birth and adopted by different families. They both got married and divorced to a woman named Linda, remarried a woman named Betty and each had dogs named Toy. They both named their sons James Alan and were reunited at the age of 39.

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Fashion - Was swiping at the dispensary when I looked up and saw the girl I was about to swipe on. Ri 21 O 9 miles away

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Font - 9 1% 1 Messenger ull LTE 10:16 PM nd3 others shared a link. •.. LADBIBLE Woman Manages To Get All 17 Of Her Pets To Sit Still For Photo 12 hrs · 8 ---------- ev and 6 others O Like Share Comment Yesterday at 7.10 PM • O Like A Share Comment

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Sport venue - BS OTTHE FIANAL F 11 2 KENTUCKY POSS TOULST 1ST 11:11 11 11 7WOFFORD NCAA MIDWEST Z ROUND 11 2 KENTUCKY POSS FOULS 1 7 WOFFORD FOULS 4 11 NCAA MIDWEST 1ST 11:11 11 2ND ROUND 11 O 1ST 11 2 KENTUCKY 11:11 11 POSS FOULS: 1

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Rock - There exist a 20ft high rock in India that has rested on a 45° angle a hill for almost 1200 years. Seven elephants pulling this rock is not enough to displace it.

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Text - In 2018 in PA there were exactly 175 newborn boys named Easton and 175 newborn boys named Weston 81 179 Ezra 179 82 Jonathan 83 Easton 175 Weston 175 84 173 85 Wesley 86 Zachary 173

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Vehicle - 10:01 O Like Share Comment •.. 3 hrs Soooo. ..I hit a catfish on the way home from my moms tonight. Thank you to : for coming to help me and finding the fish. . .because really who would believe me if I didn't have the fish. * and : *Explanation* A bird dropped the fish onto my car. *** *** Lacov Cirtwoll ||

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Tagged: cool , rare , the odds , interesting , unlikely , amazing , win , Statistics , lucky

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Funnies From The World Of Scottish Twitter

Oh, Scottish Twitter. You strange and fiery, and ridiculous land filled to the brim with bits of comedy gold. We can't necessarily say that we always understand what those ol Scots are talking about on the Twitter, but it sure is entertaining nonetheless!

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Text - JõhnöBryce @JohnoBryce On yer bike darling O © 80% l 02-UK 3G 10:56 10 Lia > It's the football or me that's it Kept inside for long enough More interested in football then me So pick now Pack your bags when your home Told you last night Will never love anyone as much as the Rangers Delivered Tweet your reply

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Text - Botty Bolingoli @BottyBolingoli To English TV presenters sayin Scotland's too wee/too poor to be independent. A reminder that you live in a country that makes fuck all & can't feed, water or power itself.Your own Government is so much in debt it taxes spare fucking bedrooms to raise money. Sit the fuck down.

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Text - Liam King @LK95_ My da just told me he's voting Tory tomorrow so l've stolen and hid his prosthetic leg. Good luck getting to the polling station mate

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Text - Paul Black @paulblack Walking down the street in Boston and see a Primark am lit wtf, a go inn overhear the manager speaking in a Glaswegian accent turns oot there's 6 of them from Glasgow wan eh them giving me advice about dodgy areas to avoid in Boston then says "I'm fay springburn but so am fine"

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Text - Wan Kerr @Andykerr_ Dae u ever git that smell that u can only describe as 'ootside' like someone comes in the house from outside n ur like 'u smell of ootside' 9/7/15, 1:15 PM from Carluke, Scotland 2,007 Retweets 2,673 Likes 27 @dzello · 10/7/15 Josh Dzielak Replying to @Andykerr_ @Andykerr_@sherah

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Text - Replying to @lewgmiller When I joined MI5 the interview was all about skiing, martinis, shagging, all that James Bond stuff. My first day on the job? They handed me a rubber and told me to start changing votes. Shite. #usepens

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Text - annie @annie_earleyx Can't stand when my mum shouts me for dinner then 7 seconds later shouts me again?? AV not got fuckin dementia gees a minute @SCOTTISH PATTERR

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Hair - My sister said Melania Trump always looks like she's trying to read the chippie menu and I haven't stopped thinking about it since IM AI MAG

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Product - Swifty @swiftybhoy Told ma gran a was loaded with a cold and she gave me this.. A tub of Vicks Vaporub that expired in September 1994. Should have a bit of a kick to it. RUE ON THiO0 PRCVONS Cre Aduhi VICKS de ntu Fot A VapoRub A 2784 SEP 94 CECONGESTANT FOR COLD aes breathing effective

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Text - Liam Turnbull @liamturnbull15 Some junkie on the 21 has just shouted "get off the WiFi you're slowing the bus doon" and l'll be thinking about that the rest of the week

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Text - Mike Adams @_MikeAdams Best feeling when your maw tells you "you'll no eat all that" n you spank it like the true champion that u are. Rise above hate

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Tagged: twitter , scotland , social media , ridiculous , funny , culture

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Entitled Neighbor Threatens Family's Dogs, Gets Evicted

This entitled neighbor had it coming their way after they threatened a family and their dogs over some noise being made, at a perfectly legal hour! The real problem here was if the neighbor really had such a problem with dogs parking, he shouldn't have moved into a dog-friendly apartment in the first place! You set yourself up for the meltdown, man.

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/Pikatira • 11h + JOIN Entitled Neighbor threaten dogs and I break. Years ago, my mother and I had just moved to a new dog friendly apartment complex. We had 2 dogs, one was a bichon shih tzu and the other is a terrier poodle mix. Because of them, we were excited for the community dog park right next to our building. Also to note, our who building was filled with dog owners, each with dogs ranging from small to huge. Our apartment was on the first floor in the back of the bu

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Text - Since one of our dogs is a terrier, he can be a bit barky when we are not home. Though when we are home we have a clicker to get his attention, which he has been train to stop barking and come to who ever has the clicker. Due to our work hours I was usually home in the morning and mom was home in the afternoon, leaving him alone for a few hours during the day.

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Text - After a month of moving to our new apartment, we recieved a note on our door. It was from one of our neighbors. It stated, "Dear neighbor, I understand that you are new to this complex, but it is rude to allow your dog to bark. It is ruining my sleep before I go to work, and my job is extremely important. I don't care how you do it but shut your dog up." My mom turned in the note right away to the leasing office as she wasn't sure what to do with it. That is when the office told us not to

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Text - Another week goes by and this time we hear a knock at the door. We go outside, and we meet our angry neighbor. He explains that our dog has kept him up everyday and woke him up with his hours of barking. Both of us had been home that day, and our dog had been a good boy and had not had excessive barking. I still remember what he had told us when I explained that. "I know what I heard. If you can't control your dog, then I am going to call animal control and have them both taken from you.

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Text - After some convincing, my mom told the apartment what had happened. We were told not to worry, and if he did that again to please contact them. We also found out that the appartment had offered him an appartment way from the dogs, but he had declined since the dogs were the problem and not him. However, what he had done, my mom began to show signs of anxiety and bought a lemon spray bark collar for our dog. While, I didn't like this idea, it had put her at ease to go outside our appartmen

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Text - A month went by peacefully, then once again we get a knock on our door. This time it was animal control. They had gotten an 'anonymous' report of a dog being abused and neglected in our home. They explained that someone has said that our dogs were barking because of neglect. My mom invited the AC lady inside and explained the situation. We showed her everything we could to prevent our dogs from being taken away. The nice lady noticed how playful and happy our dogs were and figured it was

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Text - The AC lady left, telling us that if they are threaten again to try and get it on record. This event had turned my mom into a paranoid person who became afraid to leave the house, thinking that if she did, then she would lose her pups. Normally I am the calmest person in my family, never really letting anyone get to me, bit this neighbor had did this to hurt us. So I did my research and discovered a few things that could legally help us. With new information on certain laws and leasing te

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Text - During a weekend that my mom was visiting my aunt in a different state, I began my plan. I started it by printing out a few things and then sat outside with my phone and a speaker. I began to play a video of a dog barking really loud. I had figured out which appartment was his thanks to a few neighbors who also were tired of being harrassed. I sat there looking across the courtyard to where his apartment was. I waited with a huge smile on my face, and as hoped for, he stormed out and head

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Text - "F*** you. I fing told you what I will do to your family if you fing didn't stop your dumba** mutt from ruining my sleep. Now, I'm going to get them taken from you and get you kicked out for not doing as I said. I gave you a f***ing chance. I hope when they take your dogs that they are killed and you and your mom live inside a cardboard box." I give him a fake 'oh dear' look and say, "So you are saying that I am not allow to make loud noises including my dogs barking between the hours of

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Text - "You know you did." "And you are telling me this from my porch? At 2 pm in the afternoon." "This won't be your porch once I tell the leasing office." "Oh noes. That is a very serious threat for my dogs and my family, isn't it." "F*** yes it is!"

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Text - I give him a huge smile and turn off my recorder from my phone. The neighbor is confused now and I ask him to have a seat, I have a few things to show him. I pull out my papers and hand him the first one. It was the county's noise ordinance laws. In our county, a dog's bark was considered the same amount of sound as a loud appliance, so they can bark between the hours of 7 am and 11 pm. Before he could talk, I pull out another paper. This one states that it is against the leasing terms to

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Text - He looks at me with an understanding of what he had done now. I silence him and pull out one last paper. This one was another leasing term I had found. This face after reading this one had made him turn white. This last one talked about how it was a complete violation of leasing terms to go onto another renter's property and threaten them or their property. This includes the renter's outdoor area. Those found guilty of this violation will have their lease revoked immediately and be forced

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Text - The scared look on his face was priceless as I silently got up and walked back into my apartment. After he finally left, I called my leasing office and explained what had just happened and agreed to email the recording to them right away. A week later my mom came home with some news that she had learn from the leasing office. The man had been evicted from his apartment and would be leaving later that week. I found out that my actions had caused the other dog owners of the building to come

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Tagged: neighbors , satisfying , revenge , Reddit , karma , win

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People Who Worked Smarter, Not Harder

Some of the greatest innovations at work come from human laziness. It's just not a good idea to work extra hard when you can think of a way to do the same work more efficiently. That said, don't do too good of a job or your boss might find out that you don't need to work there anymore. One or two of these definitely backfired. And a few definitely weren't as smart as the person first thought.

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Text - NoCountryForOldPete 10.9k points · 13 hours ago S Maybe not the most impressive story here, but I thought it was a great side-step of effort nonetheless: C-worker of mine had to get rid of a smaller junk fiberglass boat with no trailer. Our other co-workers are all telling him how much time and money he's going to need to spend to get rid of it, and he's just saying "Oh, is that so?" He took off one day, and sat down on his lawn with a cooler of beer. That day was garbage day. Inevitably,

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Text - FastWalkingShortGuy 8.5k points · 16 hours ago I did this. A few years back, I was roommates with a super mechanically inclined dude. Our top-loading clothes washer stopped working well because the lid got a little warped and didn't trip the safe switch for the spin cycle to run anymore. He was all geared up to pull the washer out, take it apart, bend the lid back into proper shape, and reseat the sensor so it would run properly. I told him to hold off; I put a load of laundry in, and pop

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Text - PM_ME_YOUR_BACHATA 814 points · 13 hours ago Eating cheetos with chopsticks so you don't have to wipe your fingers while playing videogames.

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Text - wilksonator 44.8k points · 14 hours ago edited 12 hours ago Award ... Was a temp. Got hired for the day to print 30 packets with 100 pages each. Why would it take a day? I asked 'Our printer doesn't collate the pages so it will take you the day to sort the pages into the 30 packets" they said. Right. It was a standard office Xerox printer. It took me all of 30 seconds to find and click the 'collate' button. Clicked the 'staple' button while at it. All got printed by itself into nice stapl

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Text - codymreese 38.8k points · 14 hours ago 3 At my last job, a truck suspension shop, we did inventory every December and it was someone's job to count all the washers and screws of every size. It was my first inventory and I casually mentioned that they should just weigh one screw or washer, then weigh them all and divide the weight to get the count. Everyone looked at me like I had given them the key to the universe. Counting washers and screws went from a day or two, to just a few hours.

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Text - seancurry1 37.2k points - 16 hours ago 3 Award from Lebanese. I read a comment on here a while back about a college kid who picked up an office job over one summer. He became friends with an older lady at the front desk who always needed help figuring out Excel. He kept finding shortcuts for her, and eventually wrote scripts for her that took a load of work off her plate. By the end of the summer he had made her job so easy that they decided they didn't need her to do it anymore. They fir

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Text - Daxos157 35.6k points · 15 hours ago I work in a semi-warehouse environment and we have to track where items are at all times. When we move X item from location A to location B we had to type out the to and from locations. We do this hundreds of times a shift. I went online to a free barcode maker website and spent about 20 minutes making location barcodes. I save hours a day by scanning barcodes.

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Text - Fromhe 22.9k points · 14 hours ago I used to deliver beer. I did not like delivering beer. I may have ended up with 30 stops in a day, including deliveries that the customer would call in to our office for. I used to bring extra beer and blank invoices with me on the truck, to prevent having to drive back to my warehouse to deliver one keg to a place that I was currently across the street from. 7 years later, the driver of that route is still doing that.

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Text - clickerroy 21.8k points · 17 hours ago · edited 3 hours ago Automated 70% of my job in a large finance firm as an intern. Never disclosed it and got paid easy money for 6 months. I spent the time doing courses and applying for my grad school. Got my admission letter during the final 2 weeks of my internship and never looked back. Pro Tip: Python and Excel can be your best friend.

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Text - cramias 19.8k points · 16 hours ago A programmer outsourced his own job overseas, paying Chinese programmers one fifth of his salary to write code for him, while he spent his days surfing Reddit and watching cat videos. His performance reviews praised him for clean, well-written code and called him "the best developer in the building." https://www.cnn.com/2013/01/17/business/us- outsource-job-china/index.html

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Text - khaki53 17.6k points · 15 hours ago I worked at a chain restaurant and in my last few months there we got those stupid table ziosks that customers could pay at. There was a survey at the end of every transaction and our managers added new performance metrics based on how many people paid using the ziosk and also how well our service was based on the surveys. One asshole would just fill the surveys out himself after his customers left and gave himself five stars in everything. Dude was alw

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Text - explision 17.5k points · 13 hours ago · edited 9 hours ago 3 2 Worked in a huge hotel by the airport*. We had layover with over 400 people, I think we were 3 employees. They had buffet for dinner and then left to go to bed since it was 1 or 2 am. Rule was, we should always go to the room and pick up as many plates as we could and then bring them to the cleaner. Took for ages and I wanted to go home. I decided to roll out the cart and collect the plates and put them on the cart. Guest were

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Text - brandnewdayinfinity 16.7k points · 15 hours ago My friend who'd take his baby's clothes off when he fed him. Next level brilliant. Spray the kid off after.

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Text - AngelusCaedo 16.4k points · 15 hours ago In high school we had to do four book reports every year. A friend of mine did his on each Lord of the Rings books and the Hobbit freshman year and turned in the same four book reports for the rest of his time in high school. You switched english teachers every year so no one ever caught on. I was never brave enough to try the same thing.

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Text - TacticalLeemur 14.3k points 15 hours ago I have an example of how the truly lazy will sabotage tracking so no one knows shit is broken. There was this guy at a software company that does integrated software systems. He hated his boss and his job and apparently most of his team. Every time he was assigned a bug to fix, he would mark it resolved and assign it to a no-reply email address associated with the team. The odd thing that I don't understand is how he managed to keep issues from get

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Text - silencedrop66 13.8k points · 15 hours ago Was tiling a bathroom floor. One young guy I was working with was cleaning up when we were done. I told him to take the leftover tile back downstairs to the truck, and then went back to cleaning what I was doing. Ten seconds later I hear this huge crash and then a soft "oh, right." He had gone out onto the balcony and dropped them down to the truck, shattering over $100 worth of tile. He said he "thought it would be faster". He wasn't exactly wron

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Text - SAwards f... UltraRunningKid 13.1k points · 12 hours ago Boss hated Excel to the point where he didn't want us using formulas because "you can't trust them to be right" so we needed to "do all the calculations by hand or on a calculator" He would give me a spreadsheet once or twice a week that required lets say, 45 seconds to do, but maybe 7 hours by hand and he told me to "go to starbucks or something and crank it out" He thought that since I pasted as values and he couldn't see the form

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Text - SirSithsalot 12.7k points · 15 hours ago I remember having to peel 20kg of charred eggplant at a restaurant I worked in. I asked the chef if there was an easier way to do it. His reply was "yep, get someone else to do it"

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Text - TonyMasters 11.4k points · 13 hours ago · edited 12 hours ago 3 There's a story that I've heard a few dozen times about a toothpaste company that had accidentally sent out cases of their product that had a few empty single boxes of toothpaste. The company had endeavored, not only to rectify their mistake, but to ensure they did not repeat it. They hired an engineering company that designed a scale, and alarm shutdown system. If an empty carton was passed down the production line, klaxons

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Tagged: Like a Boss , boss , FAIL , job , lazy , work , smart , efficient , stories , stupid

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Tumblr Thread Shows The Full Versions of Classic Sayings

Somewhere along the way, classic idioms and sayings with two parts got shortened to the first one, and everyone's just been using them wrong for a while. Tumblr gets itself into spirals of informative weirdness, like this Tumblr thread that actually makes history fun.

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Text - O dalekitsune the phrase "curiosity killed the cat" is actually not the full phrase it actually is "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" so don't let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu consultingmoosecaptain See also: Błood is thicker than water-The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

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Text - espurr-roba Let's not forget that "Jack of all trades, master of none" ends with "But better than a master of one." It means that being equally good/ average at everything is much better than being perfect at one thing and sucking at everything else. So don't worry if you're not perfect at something you do! Being okay is better! thelastmellophone These made me feel better thelifeofatubaplayer Also, "great minds think alike" ends

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Text - with "but fools rarely differ" It goes to show that conformity isn't always a good thing. And that just because more than one person has the same idea, doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea. becausetheintrovert what the fuck why haven't i heard the full version to any of these unlimitedtrashworks "Birds of a feather flock together" ends with "until the cat comes." It's actually a warning about fair-weather friends, not an assessment of how

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Text - complementary people are. A monsters-and-teeth I've always felt like these were cut down on purpose. evil-shenanigans-alpha I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge. alwayswillgraham The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. its-kk-yo I want to make designs out of

5.

Text - these. sunderlorn Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like. living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion. tentaclabia NICE uhh-the-green-thing The legendary thread is back Source: lesbianfreyja

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Tagged: sayings , interesting , words , language , idioms , linguistics , figures of speech

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The Weirdest Things About America

Someone on AskReddit asked for non-Americans to share the weirdest things about America that Americans don't even realize are weird. It's amazing how weird your country's normalized behavior can seem to the rest of the world.

1.

Text - bodhan40 • 2d How your medical ads show an old guy living life well because of X-drug. He has the best time, the wife is having the best time and it's all because of the drug making things better. The end of the ad is full of warnings about how this happy drug can potentially kill you and your family, nuke your dog and make cats impotent. Recap the cliff-hanger episode of life in Alaska before another ad break. Unwatchable TV

2.

Text - linerys • 2d Car dealerships have huge flags. I don't get why you'd have a flag the size of ten RVs. So many roads don't have street lights. Not weird, but portion sizes are also huge. I struggled with finishing my food sometimes.

3.

Text - Daverotti • 2d I went to seaworld with my mum when I was in my mid teens. Halfway through the show, the performer (Not the whale) asked everybody in the military to stand up and the whole crowd gave them a round of applause. They sat back down and the show continued as if nothing had happened. Couldn't imagine anything similar happening back in Blighty. Edit: this was at Seaworld, Orlando not San Diego. Roughly 2003/4

4.

Text - Sp1Nnx • 2d 3 2 Awards When you have ads for drugs and half of the ad is telling you how the drug will kill you while also showing puppies. It's weird.

5.

Text - TheFireKing42 • 2d Not me, but my cousins who had lived in Kuwait and Australia for many years came to visit my family back in texas and laughed at how we said У'all.

6.

Text - BlackNOrange89 • 2d My Brazilian wife says she was amazed that we actually respect pedestrians here.

7.

Text - jursla • 2d Not seeing toilet brushes in hotels. I know, I know, room service and stuff, but is my family expected to look at my skid marks meanwhile?

8.

Text - drailCA • 2d I'm not sure if they find it weird or not but as a Canadian who has been to a few states: Gambling at gas stations in Montana. So damn weird.

9.

Text - victimsoftheemuwars • 2d When we were flying between cities, I found it weird to look out of the side of the plane and see towns midflight. In Australia, once you leave the city's airspace the landscape is completely barren until you arrive at your destination.

10.

Text - staypuftmichelinman • 2d 36 Awards Every man chips in during their pee time to chip away at the skid mark. Edit: 00 piece of silver. Oo piece of silver. Oo piece of silver. Edit: 00 piece of silver. Edit: 00 piece of silver. Edit: o0 piece of... GOLD?! IM ALLERGIC TO GOLD!

11.

Text - betterthansteve • 2d Everything in America is huge. I don't just mean the people or portion sizes, because we all know about that- but the roads, the buildings, the ceilings, the space between everything... America is gigantic. It just feels larger than it does here. I'm Australian but I've been to Asia and size-wise it's similar to Australia, and I've seen Europeans say the same about America. Everything is bigger.

12.

Text - alicebaguette • 2d Clearly the fact that there are people to put your groceries in a bag for you, l've never been so stressed and uncomfortable that while I was watching this young girl taking care of my groceries

13.

Text - PruRay2 • 2d Someone from my country who lives in USA told me that without a car you are crippled in America.

14.

Text - mr_cristy • 2d Canadian here, I was blown away by how weirdly social people are with strangers. Like some random guy l've never seen before just starts telling me his life story on the street. He is super normal, and doesn't seem crazy, just wants to talk to me for some reason. But then also, the dude at Wendy's is loudly threatening some 16 year old cashier in front of like 45 people. I got the impression the Wendy's guy was uncool, but the other guy seemed normal, and where I live I gen

15.

Text - hoocoo • 2d 3 2 Awards The amount of commercial breaks in a tv show.

16.

Text - rustyplayer1515• 2d Canadian here, canadas fast food restaurants have signs that fairly normal height, just enough to get the point across while not being obnoxious, cross over to the usa and within 5 seconds of leaving customs you can see fast food signs hundreds of feet in the air on giant poles. 2 - 3 times taller than here in Canada, why!? also finding peanut butter and jelly swirled into the same jar was shocking.

17.

Text - graycat3700 • 2d That poison ivy not only exists, but it's so ubiquitous.

18.

Text - dinosaur-pudge • 2d Americans are super friendly to the point that I (Australian) thought it was sarcasm or fake.

19.

Text - SingleBarrel • 2d 1 Award That there are a lot of squirrels.

20.

Text - Cripnite • 2d 3 3 Awards Child size drink. It's roughly the size of an average child if he were liquified. 18.3k

21.

Text - theBurgundyBoi • 2d 1 Award I live in the south and one time I was hanging out with a friend smoking by a lake in late spring / early summer. He was Egyptian and had just moved here over the winter. All of a sudden he freaked out saying he was seeing weird lights in the trees. I thought he was too high or something before I realized he meant the lightning bugs. He'd never seen them and didn't know what they were, so I started catching them and he was mind blown that they were just a norma

22.

Text - Inaka_ • 2d On behalf of my wife "what's up with the gaps in the toilet stall doors and no bidet?"

23.

Text - AnLe21 • 2d Free refills. Went to a restaurant with my dad (both German) and all of a sudden the waiter took away my drink with another perfectly good sipp in it and I must have looked pretty shocked. It was only then when my dad explained to me that you guys have free refills.

24.

Text - Endless_intermission • 2d Your toilets are full of water! In Australia the water is much lower. No wonder you complain about splashes on your bum.

25.

Text - Wished-this-was-easy • 2d In Germany "How are you?" is an actual question and you generally only ask it, if you know the other person. It was super hard to explain to my mum that the answer is always "fine, thank you" and that cashiers don't really care about how you actually feel, when we visited the US in 08.

26.

Text - Mycelium83 • 2d Lemondade made with real lemons and its like super sour but some how sugary sweet at the same time. In Australia lemonade is the same as sprite. So when I was there my mum and I ordered Jack Daniels and Lemonade and they made it with the real lemondade and it was awful. It was also weird because they sold pre mixed bottles of Jacks and lemonade with the real lemonade but in Australia you buy the same ones with sprite lemonade. Free refills was the other big one. Everywhere

27.

Text - dodopancake • 2d The bottom of the toilet cubile door is higher than a limbo bar. I want to shit in peace.

28.

Text - tinkrman • 2d 3 Awards Now that Thanksgiving and Christmas is over: The weirdest thing is that Americans will ask what you are doing for thanksgiving. Are you going to your family etc... When you say no. They invite you to their home. (I was a student, My family was thousands of miles away, and I'm happy that the local Cracker Barrel is open and looking forward to a meal there) My Professor did that. Invited me to his home. I had a good time, but it was strange. I'm meeting his uncles and

29.

30.

Text - Xiaxs • 2d Hawaiian here, but I never noticed that we didn't have billboards until I moved out of Hawaii. Turns out they're illegal. So that's weird. It's awesome, cause I get unobstructed views, but still weird.

31.

Text - laywandsigh • 2d 3 2 Awards Everything's so big. From the super center Walmart store to food portions, the parking lot, pick up trucks, house, cup of coffee, airport, even the people.

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Tagged: wtf , strange , askreddit , america , weird , culture

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Puns We Can't Tell If We Love or Hate

Many people have a love/hate relationship with puns. They're either the best thing in the world, or the worst excuse for humor you could possibly imagine. Sometimes you've gotta satiate those wordplay cravings and see some silly puns and clever jokes.

1.

Rock - witchella Everyone, meet my jar of jars. His name is Jar Jar. lethalbutterfly When you shake it, jar jar clinks.

2.

Text - INVITATION We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach an orgasm. If you can't come let me know. 13/0 AWATURE DATE

3.

4.

History - Cool round table! Who built it? Sir Cumference.

5.

Mouth - It's his favorite spot in the whole house. Dlonem @OfficialDlonem - Sep 19 Poor Shark has a loose canine

6.

Font - WELL IN THAT CASE ingrap.com 123RF वा

7.

Text - John Becicka @JohnBecicka Dude 1: Hey, bro? Dude 2: yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet? Dude 2: Brochure

8.

Vehicle - Wanted to test drive it but it Wooden start

9.

Cartoon - Art teacher: What the fuck is so funny? Me: LE GOGH u/OverWorld_Hero

10.

Text - Tom Bellingham @TommyWTF1 *Star Wars characters seeing themselves in 4K for the first time* Han Solo: "Wow, I'm in HD!" Yoda: HDMI2 Screen M D

11.

Armadillo - @COMMENTAWARDS Guy accidentally shoots himself in the face after bullet ricochets off an armadillo techly.com.au 98 Shares I Like Share Comment 697 Karmadillo

12.

Text - allteenhumor I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals IM LIVID sweaterkittensahoy Everyone go home. Puns are done.

13.

Footwear - we get it, u listen to pun croc

14.

Text - Today I rewrote history Histarg History

15.

16.

Text - Kieran @KieranMSimpson me: I'm addicted to collecting magazines therapist: it sounds like you have a lot of issues 4:23 · 07 Dec 19 Twitter for iPhone 47 Retweets 168 Likes

17.

Text - H HOOKER -FURNITURE- hello yes, I would like to purchase one night stand. CAN WE ALL JUST PAUSE AND APPRECIATE THIS PUN

18.

19.

Vehicle - Man the new StarWars trailer looks sick STAR WARS made with mematic

20.

21.

Electric blue - Rare photo of milky way viewed from mars Unstable meme

22.

Christmas tree - timber timberE Douglas Fir, 235 Branch Manager Likes: photosynthesis, people who pine for me, r/trees Dislikes: people who won't leaf me alone, trunk supporters 12 ft 12, please be taller I have RBF (resting birch face)

23.

Text - O 30% 20:23 iPad ? RADIOBREAD IM A WEIRDOUGH I'M A CREPE WHAT AM I DONUT DOUGHING BELONG HERE? HERE 1X

24.

Text - Etsy Gifts a thoughtful as you 12:10 PM Ugh.. 2019 and people are still wearing fir? +1

25.

Room - Make up Work 8765 Jgenda Ac eestevy Muday Tuesdey iedn Friday My friend telling a bad joke about gravity Me still falling for it

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Tagged: jokes , dad jokes , puns , Memes , lol , silly , funny , wordplay

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Tumblr Thread About Horrifying Monster Mold

So, the Elephant's Foot mold sounds like some sort of mythological Medusa-level monster. Sounds to me like a big heap of forbidden pudding. Seriously, no thank you. Here's to hoping we don't find ourselves one day in the future, being enslaved by black mold overlords.

1.

Text - unexplained-events The photo above is the closest humanity has ever come to creating Medusa. If you were to look at this, you would die instantly.

2.

Text - The image is of a reactor core lava formation in the basement of the Chernobyl nuclear plant. It's called the Elephant's Foot and weighs hundreds of tons, but is only a couple meters across. Oh, and regarding the Medusa thing, this picture was taken through a mirror around the corner of the hallway. Because the wheeled camera they sent up to take pictures of it was destroyed by the radiation. The Elephant's Foot is almost as if it is a living creature.

3.

Text - madmaudlingoes Friendly reminder that this blob of core material was so hot and dense, it melted/ burned through three floors of the building before coming to rest in the lowest basement. And there's now a unique species of black mold that feeds off the gamma radiation it produces. zubenpics Is no one else seriously freaked out by that mold? No? Just me, then?

4.

Text - clarabosswald wiki article about the mold grubwizard LOVE that mold! bowelflies okay but The Elephant's Foot is a large mass of black LFCM with many layers, externally resembling tree bark and glass. The mass is quite dense, unyielding to a drill but able to be damaged by a Kalashnikov rifle. By June wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy was someone shooting it with a kalashnikov

5.

Text - unexplained-events I can sleep again knowing that The Elephant's foot is weak to Kalashnikovs sindri42 I love that mold because humans made a mess we have no idea how to clean up and barely five years later we discover an entirely new kind of fungus that's just... eating it. Radiation levels are going down much faster than any of our models could predict, this stuff hasn't been found anyplace else in the world...

6.

Text - sanctusapparatus 6/6 Elephant's Foot: *releases horrifying levels of radiation fatal to most life* Heretofore unknown species of mold: delicious Finally, some good fucking food Source: unexplained-events

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Tagged: scary , wtf , history , tumblr , creepy , mold , true facts

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Dad Gives Kids Cash For Christmas In A Creative Way

This dad wasn't going to settle for giving his kids cash in the old fashioned way of slipping a few dollar bills in a card, or maybe even just giving them cash. No, he insisted on getting more creative with things. Queue up the awesome packaging that made these cash gifts look like gifts he bought in the store.

1.

Text - Donnachaidha O'Chionnaigh @TwoClawsMedia None of the kids wanted toys for Christmas this year, they just wanted cash. Understandable, but cash as a gift, while practical, always feels impersonal, so I made special packaging. Went over well FREE INSIDE! YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IKNOW, RIGHT NICE CASH SMONEY THE -CASH 50 THE FANTASTIC CASH MONE FIFT EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS TRANSFORMS INTO GOODS AND/OR SERVICES! JUST ONCE! AGES 5+ WARNING: FIFTY BUCKS FROM THE US MINT CHOKING HAZARD-Big money Not

2.

Games - FREE INSIDE! CASH TONEY Ages 4 and up CASH MONEY MONEY ENACTLY WHAT . 50 THE FANTASTIC BUCKS 4+ FIFT TRANSFORMS WTO GOODS ANDR SERVCEM ST ONCE Fify Bucks 50 TY CURRENCY FROM THE US MINT MONEY AGES 5+ A WARNING: OFTHE GOVERNMENT DHOKING HAZARO-Big money Nat for chidren under 3 years FIFTY DOLLARS OK EVERYT MONEY TANTEED To BE FIFTY BUCKS AMAZING EXCHANCE FOR GOODS L SERVICES ACTION

3.

Joint - FREE INSIDE! YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT! I KNOW, RIGHT? NICE! --CASH HONEY THE EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS IT IS! TRANSFORMS INTO GOODS AND/OR SERVICES! JUST ONCE! RESERNE AL VORANT FIFTY CURRENCY U.S. GLI6ShS235

4.

Games - AGES 5+ 65246/63403 ASST. A WARNING: FROM THE US MINT CHOKING HAZARD-Big money. Not for children under 3 years. MONEY REAL AMERICAN CURRENCY GUARANTEED TO BE USED FIFTY BUCKS CODE NAME: FIDDY ANGOR

5.

Hand - 50 RESERVE NI 50 358980 A FEDERAL UNITED OF AN RESER FIFTY BUCKS ACTUALLY USEFUL ITEM WARDR .OHONG HAZARD-Smal Parts we yo FIFTY BUCKS 6

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Tagged: christmas , twitter , creative , awesome , parenting , holidays , win

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People Share What Ruined Their Christmas

Christmas can really take it out of you. If you have uncooperative family members, forcing everyone into the same room with a whole lot of expectations and spiked eggnog can be a recipe for a real bad Christmas. There were a lot of reasons to have a bad Christmas, and it can be way worse than just getting a weird gift.

1.

Text - Itsallover_ 1.7k points · 12 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago I work at an airport and we have to have a badge that lets us in the gates, tarmac, etc. Lost it, lost my drivers license, and my United Airlines I.D badge.

2.

Text - Toren8002 1.2k points · 13 hours ago I'm highly allergic to dogs. My entire extended family loves dogs. To be fair, this is what ruins my Christmas nearly every year.

3.

Text - itsabeautifulsky 1.0k points · 12 hours ago My dad is a mail carrier and has been having to work 12 hour days ever since cyber monday. Forced to work overtime, on sundays, etc. People at the post office are literally working 80 hour weeks. They're constantly there sorting packages literally 24 hours a day. I know it's silly to complain about having too much business, but the mail service workers are severely overworked in this season. It's not much fun to celebrate a holiday that makes yo

4.

Text - clarice-mstarling 227 points · 8 hours ago Had a fight with my grandma and aunt where they kept telling me that I am being brainwashed at university and they are proud of themselves for only finishing high school, otherwise they would be idiots like me. Fun times as usual.

5.

Text - enormoussolid 351 points · 7 hours ago Doctor here I worked Christmas day which is fine, but what wasn't fine was a patient who came in pretending to have pain and telling us that opiates and benzos are the only thing that work for her. To really play up the 'pain' she screamed at the top of her lungs. For 3 hours straight. When we finally managed to make it particularly clear that we weren't giving her drugs she suddenly didn't have pain anymore and stopped screaming, stood up, and storm

6.

Text - 37-pieces-of-flair 198 points · 10 hours ago edited 1 My sister. Spent a LOT of time praising herself for the gifts she got everyone. Wash, rinse, repeat. For f*ck's sake, it was 3 boxes of Peeps marshmallow candy and a stuffed Peeps duck that you found at Goodwill. That you gave to a 71 year-old man. It's not a goddamn kidney transplant!! I should've just chugged a bottle of wine before we even opened gifts.

7.

Text - xClovis7 32.3k points · 13 hours ago & 3 2 My cousins got a mini bounce house and it popped with like 10 kids inside all under 8. The amount of crying broke my eardrums

8.

Text - emlovescoffee 23.5k points · 11 hours ago 2 S My mother in law tried to feed my eldest child mango, which she's been allergic to for the past 11 years. My eldest said "what are you doing??!! Grandma I'm allergic!" Grandma said "it'll be okay, it's Christmas." Um, no. Food allergies don't take Christmas off you idiot.

9.

Text - KyooTeaPie 19.4k points · 11 hours ago Me. Was invited to a lovely dinner by my boss with his extended family. Everything went amazingly well, even though I was nervous. I didn't drink anything due to medications, yet still managed to vomit profusely all over his car when he was giving me a ride home.

10.

Text - roboticsandhookers 13.1k points · 14 hours ago 3 A Everyone forgot I'm allergic to nuts.

11.

Text - enternameher3 12.6k points · 10 hours ago 2 A... My fiance canceled the wedding

12.

Text - joey_kbt 12.3k points · 13 hours ago O S My cousin stole my $250 and once she got caught said: "But I need it and OP (Me) is too spoiled anyways." She then proceeded to get half of it after crying a fit and refused to give it back until she got some and after all that I still don't know why her parents don't punish her since there actually half decent.

13.

Text - kingOWisco 11.3k points · 14 hours ago 3 2 Awar... Got the flu. Shit my way to Xmas morning

14.

Text - easilybored1 9.7k points · 13 hours ago I got my boyfriend a model kit. He called it cheap and said it probably wasn't even worth his time to assemble and then told me later on not to let it discourage me from buying things.

15.

Text - babaeatlalaki 8.9k points · 13 hours ago The power went off and never came back on. We had Christmas dinner at McDonald's. All the food was ruined.

16.

Text - jmp_jsp 6.8k points · 13 hours ago 3 Everyone caught the flu. No one was spared. One by one my family members are falling ill and all of their post Christmas plans are crumbling like so many gingerbread cookies.

17.

Text - 12 hours ago · edited 4 hours a KnotHopeless 5.7k points Found out my family actually had a Christmas party. A few days ago I got a card and directions to a charity dinner, I figured that was their way of telling they weren't doing anything this year. Apparently it was actually their way of telling me I wasn't invited.

18.

Text - everybodylovesmemore 4.7k points · 13 hours ago · edited. My brother picking a fight with my sister over who won WWII. He was wrong and she refused to agree with him. We left when he started yelling. My sister has a degree in political science and her teaching credential in World History and Geography.

19.

Text - OhioMegi 4.6k points · 13 hours ago It was suggested that I drive 4 hrs round trip to pick up my grandmother for the day. We live the furthest away and I guess I can spend all that time doing it because I'm single with no kids. Luckily my mother shot that down, but it pisses me off just thinking about how it's fine for me, but not other family that's in the same fucking town.

20.

Text - Ohm_B 3.8k points · 14 hours ago Great aunt got deported, and I got a fucken cup stuck in my garbage disposable.. like wtf

21.

22.

Text - MaximumPlant 2.3k points · 14 hours ago Family, thank god I had to work it was a nice escape

23.

Text - mrsstressedmom 2.1k points · 13 hours ago My 5 year old looked at all his Christmas presents 3 days before Christmas, and the dog peed on the tree, which also got on many gifts.

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Tagged: unpleasant , bad , christmas , terrible , horrible , wtf , FAIL , ruined , awful , holidays

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Dad Gets Fired For BS Reason, Plays The Long Game

This one definitely qualifies as a pro revenge. The dad apparently got fired for a total BS reason, but ended up being the one in charge in the long run, and on top of that was able to take the extended family on a cruise!

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/dromio05 • 22h + JOIN Dad gets fired for BS reasons, plays the long game, ends up in charge, takes the extended family on a cruise My dad had worked at the same company for almost 30 years before he was abruptly fired for compete bullshit. He was coordinating an upcoming meeting of people who had to fly in from around the country. One important participant resigned unexpectedly, so Dad cancelled the meeting via email and explained why. Apparently that counted as "improperly

2.

Text - This was about ten years ago, near the height of the recession. Dad was in his 50s, hadn't interviewed for a job since the early 1980s. He wasn't sure he'd ever find another job. My mom went back to work at a school to pay the bills, while Dad scraped together what he could doing some shitty online consulting gigs for basically minimum wage. They managed to keep their heads above water, but only barely.

3.

Text - Dad was out of work for a year and a half. He finally landed a job at a new company three states away, coincidentally about an hour away from where my wife and I lived and were expecting Dad's first grandchild. Mom and Dad moved to live about 20 minutes away from us. They had paid off the mortgage on their house, so they decided to keep it and rent it out, planning to retire there in a few years. New Company treated Dad very well. Better salary than he'd made at Old Company, good benefits

4.

Text - Dad mentioned a few things about his time at Old Company to his new bosses. Nothing confidential or anything, more like overall strengths and weaknesses. Of course, the story of how he got fired came out as well. It turns out that when you work at a company for over 25 years you learn a thing or two about how it works, and "cutting costs" by firing experienced employees can make your company vulnerable. New Company started to get very interested. They saw an important business opportunity

5.

Text - A couple years later, New Company bought Old Company. They were both big companies, and mergers of this size take time, but when the dust settled it was clear there were "redundancies" - divisions and products that both companies had that New Company only needed one of. They kept as many of Old Company's people as they could, and very few lost their jobs. Except, of course, for the people responsible for firing Dad. New Company put Dad in charge of the building he used to work in at Old C

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Tagged: employee , job , revenge , work , ridiculous , Reddit , win

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Comedy Gems From The Wild World Of Tumblr

If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that the wonderfully creative minds of the Tumblr community never leave us disappointed. These comedy gems won't fail to get a laugh or two out of you.

1.

Text - actuallyjuststealingmemes E skeletor-the-bitch Follow kaijuno I hit a pothole (a Michigan pothole so basically a sinkhole) today and my check engine light came on. I don't have one of those computer plugins to reset the light and I knew it was just a sensor that got knocked so I was just like "well let's see if this works" and on the way home I swerved and hit the pothole again and the check engine light turned off nonlinear-nonsubjective Welcome to PURE /ICHIGAN Source: kaijuno

2.

Text - galaxyslime swear words are illegal now. if you say one you'll be fined. breadisticks heck galaxyslime you're on thin fucking ice galaxyslime oh no

3.

Text - hazelbeewitched i like the idea of having a step-by-step schedule (like breakfast at x time, study at x time, etc.) but who's gonna regulate that shit? me? that bitch is a toddler Source: hazelbeewitched

4.

Text - fuschious My sister just walked into my room, grunted "oil" and promptly collapsed on the floor the-german-russian-skinwalker Fuck she got possessed by america Source: fuschious

5.

Text - taxevader69 Mom > Rather than call it Socialism, let's just call ît what it is... valuing human life over corporate profits. wow ok my mom is ready to be the ceo of antifa ovverwwhelmed kitbulls comrade mom kitbulls WAIT. MOMRADE.

6.

Text - sepulchritude You can tell how someone's mental health is doing by paying attention to how much emphasis they put on the line “I sometimes wish l'd never been born at all" when they're singing bohemian rhapsody

7.

Bird - blessedimagesblog Stop scrolling, bet you've never seen a baby toucan Blessed Toucan

8.

Text - meaninglessmonicker: "Jesus' comes from a shortening of the Hebrew version of the name Joshua, while "Christ' simply means 'the anointed one.' To make this clearer to modern Christians, I propose a new Bible translation where Jesus is referred to only as "oily Josh" Source: meaninglessmonicker 37,736 notes

9.

Text - goblinparty I'm constantly torn between the 'be kind to everyone' and the 'fuck everyone you owe them nothing' mentalities armadillobear Do no harm but take no shit chronicallywild DO NO HARM BUT TAKE NO SHIT

10.

Cat - blackandwhOte-deactivated201911 #Soviet submarine breaking through the ice. - Arctic Ocean 1942. 79,140 notes

11.

Text - generalgrievousdatingsim i like how the phrase "sworn nemesis" implies the existence of more casual nemeses generalgrievousdatingsim you're her nemesis i'm her sworn nemesis we are not the same Source: generalgrievousdatingsim

12.

Text - A tilthat TIL The chances of us eating even one spider in our sleep throughout our lifetime is close to 0% via reddit.com strongbowdarkfruit did something happen to Spiders Georg O itsaarnie R.I.P. Spiders George 2013-2017 ifightformyfriends He was an outlier. But he counted. Source: tilthat

13.

Text - killerkitty707 "Yoink" is the opposite of "Yeet" wierdrocks But it's just as fast viewtiful-kim The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away

14.

Text - I carry a picture of my nemesis to always fill me with vengeance backyardbottomslash there is a DIFFERENCE between two characters who just hate each others guts and are abusive and bad for each other and two characters who are RIVALS and are LOCKED in BATTLE but have a DEEP SEATED RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER and MIXED FEELINGS and perhaps even some FONDNESS? some TENDERNESS? beercheesecasserole Batman and joker vs Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus backyardbottomslash this post was about the

15.

Text - wivernryder How in hell do you get "Dick" from "Richard"? mttheww you ask him nicely amandaexmachina I needed ibuprofen after this.

16.

Text - candyredterezii honestly saying “oh it comes with lore" about anything that has text explaining the use and or contents is one of the funniest th candyredterezii ehnoshima *looks at the instructions on my ramen package* oh lore?

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Tagged: humor , tumblr , askreddit , ridiculous , funny

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Student Gets Back at Thieving Roommate with Booby Trap USB

A bad roommate can make your home a living hell. When this student noticed their roommate was stealing their stuff, things got serious. This sort of strategy happens with food too, like this guy who ended up baking a cake full of habeneros.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge Posted by 2 3 Awards f. u/rayrayrex 19 hours ago Think you can steal my stuff and get away with it? Good luck studying for exams with a broken laptop Back in my first year of college, I used to live in a residence on campus with 3 other dudes. Two of them were cool (shout out to Bdawg and Al) but the third named David had a nasty habit of taking things that weren't his and mysteriously forgetting that the objects had fallen into his possession.

2.

Text - Of the items he had stolen and were subsequently found in his room included food/snacks, notebooks, vapes, and earbuds (albeit cheap ones). We'd all complained to our RA, but since they were such small items, we were told that we should just have a "house meeting" and talk about it with David to have the problem fixed. We had two of those, where he claimed "it all looks so similar, how am I supposed to know which is mine?". Considering that we all kept our shit in our rooms this was obvio

3.

Text - Knowing nothing would happen unless I took action, I planned my revenge. I shelled out around $80 for something similar to this bad boi. It was a USB device that once plugged into an unsecured USB port, fried the computer by building a charge and dispersing it into the port, pretty much destroying the CPU among other parts. Now obviously I wasn't going to plant this anywhere, but I had to make it seem like this was a tool and not some sort of set-up. So I'd roped Bdawg and Al in on my pla

4.

Text - With them roped in, the last thing to do was wait and see if David had learned his lesson. It took all of 3 days, but expectedly David did not learn his lesson. I was at the library when this happened, but David had decided that this sexy USB would be the perfect addition to his collection of stolen wares, so he went into my room and took it. Big mistake. I got a Snapchat from Bdawg that David was going postal and I needed to get back asap. I high tailed it and when I got near our residen

5.

Text - Admittedly I should have held my composure better, but I laughed in that mofo's face. I told him that the USB was clearly labeled with my name on my desk in my room and I was using it to test whether my computer ports were secured from devices such as this. Screaming ensued from him, after which our RA showed up (heard that shit fest from down the hall) and asked what the hell was happening. I stayed quiet to let David attempt to lie his way out of this, but holy fuck the dumbshit kept to

6.

Text - When we got there and explained our stories, campus police had none of David's shit. They told him that 1. He cannot sue me since this was not a trap, but a security tool that was within my own living space, of which he had no right entering to **steal** from and 2. He was being relocated to the shitty single residences on the other side of campus, and if they caught wind of this again he was getting banned for life from res as well as receiving a Non-Academic offence (a nice little chat

7.

Text - The three of us enjoyed the rest of the semester with an extra bedroom for storage space (AND BEER PONG) which was definitely a win. As for David, I've only ever seen him in the cafeteria/library on occasion, sitting there studying. without his laptop. TL:DR - Shitty roommate steals our stuff and gets a shocking surprise that decimates his laptop.

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Tagged: justice , stealing , students , revenge , story , roommates , laptop , college , win , thief

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