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Guest Post - Handling Negative Comments On Your Blog Post

Posted: 31 Jan 2009 11:00 AM PST

The following guest post comes from the talented Jason Alba of JibberJobber.com

If you are like me, you don’t write blog posts to fish for negative comments.

As a blogger I love comments because they stroke my ego - even non-flattering (or neutral) comments are good! It’s like “wow, someone besides my mom reads my blog!”

But negative comments are really hard to deal with. It doesn’t help that most comments on my blog are positive and supportive of what I have to say. “Right on!” “Totally agree!” “Excellent post!” This is good for my ego, but bad to prepare me to handle anything negative.

Or even perceived negative. That would include comments that seem to be negative the first time I read them, but are not really negative.

Recently I wrote a post that offended someone (The 10 Hour Job Search - Seriously). She commented, and I felt her comment was scathing, mean and inappropriate. I took it personally and posted a rebuttal, picking apart her comment line by line. And then I spend the rest of the day feeling horrible, not because of her comment but at the way I reacted.

In light of that, I feel like I can be the poster child for how to NOT respond to negative comments. Indeed, I see this guest post as part of my blogger duty, since I goofed up. So, here are five things to consider when you get a negative comment on your blog (these five points are applicable on email lists, Twitter, etc.):

Take time to cool off. I’ve read that you should not respond to criticism immediately. Some say you should even wait at least twenty-four hours to respond (hard for a blogger to do, with our “I-want-it-right-now” microwave mentality!). Every time I have responded to something negative right after I read it, I’ve regretted it. Seriously, walk away, do something else, and come back to it tomorrow. Hopefully that will help you put the comment into perspective.
Just be quiet and let your contacts defend you. If you have readers (if you don’t, skip to step 3), step back and see if they reply. I’ve seen this on my blog, when someone said something negative, about eight people jumped in and defended me. The negative comment was by a new reader, and all of the older readers knew me well enough to know my intentions were good. The support from my community was awesome! I’ve also seen this on email list (i.e., Yahoo Groups). A word of caution, if you slam the blogger (or frequent poster on an elist), consider the reputation you are developing for yourself in that community.
Ignore the comment, or reply with a very short, non-combative response. Maybe it’s not even worth it to reply. Maybe replying will satisfy the ego of the commenter, if indeed their intention was to yank your chain. Doing nothing is not a bad option at all - although I recognize that as bloggers we have a hard time not responding :p An appropriate short response may be something as simple as “Okay.” Or, “Okay, whatever.” This type of response shows you are not going to get into a debate or argument, and would rather diffuse the issue.
Clarify the intentions, OFF BLOG. Why not respond to the commenter in an email asking for clarification? Perhaps you can get more details of what they meant to write, and either better understand their comment or realize that they wrote something with a tone they didn’t intend. My executive editor Scott Allen says that online (blogs, email, etc.) we need to “presume good intent,” meaning instead of assuming the worst, let’s start with “maybe they meant to say something else.” No one is perfect, not even the person leaving a comment - they might be horrified to realize how their comment might be misinterpreted!
Don’t approve, or delete, the comment. On my Jason Alba blog I got a comment from someone I consider to be my cyber-stalker. Not fun, but he’s across the pond in the UK so I’m not worried about physical violence. Nonetheless, his comment was really degrading, and obviously off-topic. I simply haven’t approved it, so it’s not showing on the post he commented on. However, since I’m a blogger, I did respond - I created a post titled How To Deal With An Internet Stalker, and posted his comment there (with a little Twilight humor) - it was a fun post to write, and since I didn’t name him I felt pretty good about it!

What would your advice be? These are the five ideas I came up with - what would you add? Share with us in the comments below. If you leave a negative comment, I promise to eat my own dog food (and probably practice #3 :)

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Jason Alba designed JibberJobber.com to replace his job search spreadsheet. He also wrote I’m on LinkedIn — Now What??? and I’m on Facebook — Now What??? You can follow him on Twitter here: @jasonalba

Photo credit _gee_

Not Just The Web

Posted: 31 Jan 2009 06:39 AM PST

When we think of how the web has changed this, we think about our ability to have a voice and express ourselves. When asked to define “Web 2.0,” I usually just shortcut and say it’s the two-way web. It’s our ability to shoot back that makes it interesting.

It is also, very much, about the removal of distribution roadblocks, of jumping the hurdles of authority.

I’m happy with this post by Chris Anderson (Long Tail, Wired,). In it, Anderson reports about a geeky side project that has now become a small business. But that’s not the story. He gives us the story closer to the end.

He built what amounts to an unassisted aerial vehicle for about $500, and has set up shop so that other remove controlled airplane enthusiasts could do the same. This used to be a military-owned technology, but with some tinkering, with a community, Chris has opened it up.

There’s something powerful in this story, if you extrapolate it beyond what Chris has done. Do you see it? Can you see possibility in all kinds of other areas?

Photo credit Erik Charlton

Guest Post - Things that Keep Me From Falling Down

Posted: 31 Jan 2009 02:30 AM PST

This guest post comes from Julie Roads of Writingroads

The woods where I walk my dogs every morning are currently coated in a nasty sheet of ice - they have been for weeks. I ran into a neighbor on the trail this morning, and she said, ‘This ice sucks, it’s impossible to walk out here!’

Which is when I realized that I hadn’t really noticed. I had just figured it wasn’t very slippery ice.

Reading that last sentence now, it sounds a wee bit ridiculous. But, I had come up with such a good solution to combat the ice, that I had all but forgotten there was ever a problem. Better yet, my fix enabled me to do something vitally important in my day and for my life.

My solution? Crampons, of sorts. Mine are little rubber soles that slide over my shoes and have 7 well-placed metal prongs that ‘crampon’ to the ice and give me stability. Genius - and apparently very effective.

But this got me thinking about the crampons that I use for my business and my writing. Resources that I have and tools that I use that enable me to succeed as a writer and business owner, if not effortlessly, than certainly easier. Bottom line: they keep me from falling down.

Here are my crampons:

1. A good space. Once upon a time, I worked out of my kids’ play room - on a desk we shoved in the corner. Then, I worked in a friend’s living room - it was quiet - but it wasn’t my own space. About 9 months ago, I made an investment in myself and my business and built a 120 sq. ft. office in my backyard. I couldn’t love it more, everything has a place…and my business has quadrupled since I moved, and settled, in.

2. The right computer. I have a Macbook. Need I say more? My old Dell laptop froze repeatedly, shut down at will and was slower than me & a level 32 Sudoku puzzle. The point is, you have to have technology that works and can keep up with you - is even one step ahead of you or more.

3. Solid partners. Do you how much easier my job is when I can tell clients with confidence to use this graphic/web designer, this fast Wordpress design wizard, this tech writer, this printer, this host, this videographer…and on and on. Having them in my tool box allows me to offer so much more to my clients than I ever could by myself.

4. A Virtual Assistant. Yes, I’ve taken the plunge. Do you know that I was holding myself back from growing my business because I couldn’t do all of the ‘things’ I needed to be able to do in order to grow it? If that isn’t ass-backwards, I don’t know what is. Now, with my right hand lady, I’m publishing ebooks, offering my 1-on-1 Intensive, creating an affiliate program and doing about a zillion other things I’ve been meaning to do. The best part? I get to do grow and dream - and my VA always say, ‘yep, I can do that.’ I love it.

Yes, there’s an investment. But the return is so much greater. I’ve decided that my business is worth it. For you, it might not be a VA, it may be some other integral staff member that’s been missing. The question here is: what are you doing that someone else could do for you? Faster, better and more efficiently so that you can focus on what you do best.

5. Time Management. Between client work, marketing, social media, family, food, me-time - the day gets tight. My time crampon is this: scheduling. Without fail, when I have a wide-open day, it ends up mostly un-productive. But when the day is scheduled and my reptilian brain is encouraged to just follow the map, I get the most done.

6. Flexibility. Like the revolutionary Ani Difranco sings,

Buildings and bridges
are made to bend in the wind
to withstand the world,
that’s what it takes
All that steel and stone
is no match for the air, my friend
what doesn’t bend breaks
what doesn’t bend breaks

Flexibility is paramount as a critical tool for business success. Clients cancel, one minute you have 10 deadlines, the next you have none, the internet goes down, you have to work sleep into the equation - all of these things require that you transform your plan at a moment’s notice. When flexibility is utilized, the crisis becomes an opportunity - not a derailing. And it doesn’t break you.

7. Colleagues. I have a tight network of trusted peers that I couldn’t live without. They are my reality check, my idea bouncer-offers, my partners in crime, my support system. They share my joy and hear my disappointments - and I them. We keep each other on our feet with kind words, objective eyes and large senses of humor.

8. Joy. I have had several jobs in my life that I didn’t like. And, big surprise, they are distant memories. Love and passion for my current work brings me purpose, energy and a desire to thrive. Getting the job done is the fun part. This is, perhaps, my most invisible and most cherished tool. It keeps me from slipping and falling every day.

What are the tools that get you through the day, the year? What are your crampons?

Make sure you visit Julie Roads at Writingroads, and the blog at Blogging Roads.

Photo credit alextorrenegra