The best Overheard in New York quotes from last week, by your votes:
...You'll Be Proud to Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like a Continental Soldier
Little girl to mother: Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Mother (under breath): You're laughing now, but one day...
--86th & York
Overheard by: Micaela
Wednesday One-Liners Know When to Stop
Bus driver: We should be arriving in Port Authority soon, hopefully at our schedule arrival time, but it all depends on the Lord of the tunnel.
--Port Authority Bus
Overheard by: Emily
M60 bus driver, under breath, to traffic ahead: Mush. Mush. Yeah, mule. Mush. Git along.
--106th & West End
Bus driver on PA: Madam, don't let your children swing on the hand bars...this is not a jail.
Overheard by: bonoboxoxo
Funny bus driver in soft-spoken jazz voice: This is Madison Avenue. If this is you, get out. I wish I was getting out. Does anyone know how to get out? Next is Park Avenue...or it's not. Is anyone listening? Thanks for the smile.
--M16 Crosstown Bus
Announcer on bus (waiting for someone to request a stop): Come on, my line's open. Someone dial my number. Come on, you know the number! (a passenger requests a stop) There we go! Thanks for calling! I knew you would!
Overheard by: alli
Wednesday One-Liners Fight for Their Right to Potty
Pissing guy on phone: What do you mean you're not going to have sex with me? (entire bathroom laughs hysterically) See! Even these motherfuckers agree with me!
--Bathroom, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Bobby
Dad to young son in bathroom stall: Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Did you aim in the bowl? Did you aim in the bowl? (son comes out of stall) You did! But you didn't flush. One out of two ain't bad.
--Bathroom, Union Square Movie Theater
(constipation grunts and electronic sounds are heard inside next stall)
Guy in next stall, on walkie-talkie: Hey, Tony, turn the walkie-talkie off when you take a shit!
--Men's Room, Hilton Hotel
Drunk white girl: Oh my god, this bathroom is so dark. How am I supposed to see my vagina?
Tall black British guy using the urinal, to himself: Repeat aftah me...you are a rock star! Ah! Yeah!
"Hello? Pot to Kettle Here. You're Wednesday One-Liners."
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
--46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
--47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
--Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
Wednesday One-Liners Say "Toro, Toro, Taxi!"
Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don't want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!
--17th & Irving
(pedestrians are crossing when they aren't supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.
Overheard by: momes
Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car!
--Jerry Orbach St
Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I'ma getting hit by a car, I'ma getting hit by a nice car.
--Broadway & Houston
Tourist driving car: I don't give a fuck if you own the world! I'm running your ass over!
Overheard by: lex
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