2010/01/31

Carolyn Hax for Monday February 1, 2010

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Carolyn Hax
For Indiana
Monday February 1, 2010

Carolyn Hax

Carolyn Hax

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi Carolyn:

I know you can't make other people change, or do the hard work for them, but what role can a friend/sibling/in-law play when someone has a problem? I want to help a friend who has trouble saying no (kid gets bad grades, still allowed to go to a sleepover when that was part of the bargain of getting good grades, for example). But I don't know how to start. Thanks.

-- Anonymous


The ability to affect the behavior of those around us ranges from abundant-but-limited to nil. In fact, the ability to affect our own behavior comes with limits, but that's the closest we get to complete control: over our own thoughts, words, actions. The moment the behavior you want to change is someone else's, you lose the last word.

If that person is really, really close to you though, you probably have a lot of influence. In those cases, it's important to use that influence judiciously. That can mean anything from being an honest player in all your dealings with that person -- for example, asking openly for things instead of manipulating people to do what you want -- to picking your battles carefully to avoid intruding on others' lives for trivial reasons.

So, in regard to your friend: If you are close to this person, if you have a history of using your power/influence judiciously, and if you use it judiciously here, then you can be a tremendous help.

Depending on the dynamic you have with this friend, you can either ask directly what happened to the deal she struck with her child, or you can ask indirectly -- for example, ask how things are going between her and her child. Direct or indirect, the question must not be judgmental.

Then, in her answer, you can read whether there's an invitation for you to help or not. With an invitation, speak your mind -- again, without judging. If there's no invitation, then you help by listening (with the occasional, judicious question) and you help by example, and that's about it.

Once you move out into the rings of people who aren't really close to you -- say, they're related to you but you don't confide in each other, you're friends but not in regular touch, you're colleagues but not close outside the office, whatever -- then your ability to influence/help someone else weakens.

Unless you're asked. The primary factor in power we have with each other is the invitation to comment/help. When we're asked, we can help no matter how close or distant we are. Sometimes, in fact, a little distance can help.

But since such clear invitations to help -- paired with openness to being helped -- are so rare and so relatively tension-free, presumably we're talking about how to help people close to us who are struggling, but haven't asked.

That's the tough one to navigate, because you can't mistake emotional proximity for permission to keep weighing in. At a certain point, the constant effort to give your opinion, and presumably to change others' behavior, becomes judgmental unto itself.

E-mail Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.


Copyright 2010 Washington Post Writers Group

Read more about Carolyn Hax at ArcaMax.com.

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Travel As a Job

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Travel
For Indiana
Monday February 1, 2010

Travel As a Job

T Hale

Having a job is an essential part of life. It gives you purpose and most importantly, a means of income. Just imagine what it would be like if you had lots of money to spare or a steady source of income without lifting a finger, would you continue to work and stress yourself out with the mundane day to day activities? Most probably not.

Traveling on vacation is one of the ultimate life aspirations of many people around the world. Unfortunately, it can be quite expensive and people feel like they have to work hard to save money to achieve the ability to travel. However, that is not the only way to travel and explore the world. There is a better way and it is composed of two words... travel jobs.

Travel jobs will satisfy your thirst for exploration but can still help you earn steady cash and you don't have to wait until you retire in your old age tp frolic in the sands of the Caribbean or experience the magnificent culture of Asia. You can do it now without burning holes to your pockets.

Sounds incredible but travel jobs have been around for a very long time, ever since the dawn of tourism. The travel and tourism industry has been booming and has even been able to weather the storm of global economic crisis. Tourism is a giant industry because many nations rely on their income from tourism and travel. Recession or not, the tourism industry has survived and continues to grow.

The advancements in communications and transportation technology have greatly contributed to the growth of the travel and tourism industry. Traveling had never been easier nor faster. And the world has become figuratively smaller because we are now able to communicate and connect with one another much more easily.

Travelers and vacationers are steadily increasing. As a result, the demand for travel and tourism workers is also mounting. Jobs such as flight attendants, travel agents, and cabin crews are constantly offered these days. Hospitality workers like the staff in hotels; for example concierges, bellhops, chambermaids, and even managerial positions are becoming more common.

Since employees can easily be contacted these days, companies and businesses are getting more confident in deploying company representatives in other locations to market and sell their service and products. Travel sales jobs are also great career options.

Consultant jobs are getting better recognition and have allowed many people to become more nomadic because consultants are needed all around the world, going to places where their skills are needed. The Internet has made the market larger for businesses. The market of today is global and buyers can be from different geographical regions.

Travel writing, photography, and freelance works like blogging, SEO, and other technological jobs that can be done while traveling. The Internet has helped in finding new qualified customers and selling a physical or informational product. You can now work anywhere with connectivity and electricity.

Travel jobs are abundant and if you want one, you will want to examine yourself closely and determine your skills and abilities. You should know what you are capable of that can become an asset in your job applications. Research diligently and stay informed.

========

Get our free audio cd mailed to you! Discover in step-by-step detail how to make money while traveling. Learn more about how you can travel as a job by clicking the link or visiting http://www.moneyfortraveling.com to claim your free CD.

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Tips to Choose a Pet Sitter While Traveling

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Cats & Dogs
For Indiana
Monday February 1, 2010


American Shorthair

The American Shorthair is the most popular and most prevalent breed in North America -- chances are, if you have a cat, it's an American Shorthair. The breed is believed to be descended from ...

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Tips to Choose a Pet Sitter While Traveling
By Penelop Jones

We all love our pets. A large number of people in the world have pets in their respective houses. One should keep good care of such animals as they are a part of our house. First of all, let us understand what pet exactly is. Well, an animal kept for companionship in one's personal residence is known as a pet. Some of the people are very much attached with their pets that they regard them as a family member. So, if you are one of such people then this article could really help you in keeping good care of your pet.

Well, in this topic we are going to talk about some of the tips to select a pet sitter for your personal pet. While you are traveling it becomes really difficult to carry your pet along with you. There a few times when you need to travel suddenly. Such are the times when you need a reliable pet sitter for your pet. Now, given below are some of the finest tips to select a fine pet sitter.

1. Always go for a reliable person. If you really love your pet then you must hire a reliable pet sitter whom you know well. You should have a small conversation with him before leaving your pet along with him.

2. Consider his experience and methods of working. He should possess a proper method of dealing with pets. He should be polite in his ways of working. We all know that dealing with pets is not an easy task for everyone. One really needs to go step by step.

3. A good pet sitter needs to have ample amount of patience. So, you should hire an individual who doesn't breaks down in critical situations. He should handle pets with a certain amount of patience.

4. You could surf the net and look for a professional sitter. I must tell you that internet is one of the best ways to look for a pet sitter. You would certainly find a reliable person on the net.

5. Ask for reference from your family members and friends. They could certainly provide you some help.

6. Also get a service agreement with the dog sitter before handling over your pet to him.

So, these are some important things that could really help you choose a suitable sitter for your pet. Don't forget to read this article once. Have fun!

========

If you are interested in traveling with your pets and looking for Pet Friendly Hotels then kindly visit us at http://www.officialpethotels.com/


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About Italian Food: A Service Announcement Of Sorts

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