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2014/07/08

Neatorama

Neatorama

Working With Victor Borge

Posted: 08 Jul 2014 05:00 AM PDT

The following is an article from The Annals of Improbable Research.

A conversation with Leonid Hambro
by Marc Abrahams

Victor Borge died on December 23, 2000, a few days before his 92nd (or, according to some, 91st) birthday. The great pianist Leonid Hambro collaborated on stage with Borge for a decade, touring the world and doing a long run on Broadway. Prior to that, Hambro was principal pianist for the New York Philharmonic Orchestra, and also had a busy schedule doing radio concerts on WQXR in New York and recording albums. We asked him how the collaboration came about.

Victor Borge was making recordings here in New York. After it finished, he was talking to the producer of the records, who was a friend of mine. Howard Scott was his name. And he said, "Howard, you know, I've been doing this show all by myself on stage, and I have a lot of funny ideas that I could do with another pianist, but it has to be a pianist who's absolutely first class. He has to be able to improvise. He has to have a sense of humor. And he has to have a good stage presence."

So Howard said, "I know exactly the right person for you. He's terrific. But don't bother, because he's the busiest pianist in New York. There's no way he could go with you."

So Borge said, "Listen, never mind. Introduce me anyway, I want to talk with him. So we talked, and he said, "I'm going to do a month in Las Vegas at the Sahara Hotel. Would you like to do that?"

So, in the summertime -- it was in August -- I didn't have to be with the Philharmonic or WQXR, so I said, "Gee, I'd love to do that." So that's how it came about.

After we agreed on that, a few weeks later he said, "Lookit, I have to do a concert with the Philadelphia Orchestra and Eugene Ormandy. I'd like you to do the concert with me."

I said, "Great. What do you want me to do?"

He said, "Why don't you come to the rehearsal and we'll talk about it."

So I came to the rehearsal. I was always a fan of his. He made me laugh even when I heard the same thing over and again.

I listened to the rehearsal, and he said," How was it?"

I said, "Terrific. Great." So then I said, "Listen, what are we to do?"

He said," Listen, I have to have lunch with Ormandy. Why don't you come to his house -- I'll give you the address -- and at three o'clock we'll talk it over."

I said, " Is the concert tonight?"

"Yes."

And I said, "At three o'clock you're going to tell me what to do for eight o'clock? Will we be able to do it?"

He said, "Aw, you'll be able to do it."

Now, he'd never heard me play. He'd just heard the words about me from different people, and they all said. "No, he's a terrific pianist, don't worry about him."

So I said, "Well, look. I brought my white tie and tails, and I brought a tuxedo. What do you want me to wear?"

He said, "No. That suit is fine."

I said, "The suit?"

He said, "Yeah."

I said, "I'm going to be up on stage?"

He said, "Yeah."

"And the suit is all right?"

"Absolutely."

I said, "Will you be wearing a suit?"

"No, I'll be wearing tails."

So I was mystified, but I didn't say anything. So I said, "Where should I be, stage right or stage left?"

And he said, "Well, don't you want to hear the show?"

I said, "Sure."

He said, "Well, you'll be in the audience."

I said, "Well, then... when will I come up on stage?"

He said, "You'll know."



So, I went and sat at the show, and I'm lost in it. And then suddenly I realize -- he said, "You know, ladies and gentlemen, I received a note before I came on stage. There's somebody whom I haven't seen in many years. He used to be a student of mine. He's in the audience tonight, and I'd love you to hear him play. He's a WONDERFUL pianist--"

Oh, I almost forgot! Back to what happened at Ormandy's--

When we were at Ormandy's house I said, "What do you want me to play?"

He said, "I want you to play the Blue Danube."

Now, when you ask a pianist to play the Blue Danube, there's a very well known arrangement of the Blue Danube. It's a virtuoso piece. It's extremely difficult. Only a handful of pianists have played it in public, ever. I'm one of them, but it's such a difficult piece. There's no way I'm going to play it.

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Just play the piece. I want you to play it in D major."

I said, "Sure, I can do that."

He said, "Could you make up an introduction where you play all over the piano?"

"Sure."

He said, "Now I want you to make mistakes. I want you to make mistakes in different places, like this--," and he played some for me. And then he showed me different places to make mistakes.

And then I thought to myself, "My God, that's the dumbest-- that's the old burlesque joke. It's the dumbest joke. How can he do that? Here's a class guy -- how can he do that?" But listen. It's his show.

And so now I'm listening to the show and he says "There's somebody in the audience. George, are you there?"

I'm sitting in the rear of the hall, and I think maybe it's my cue. So I'm beginning to walk down the aisle very timidly, because I wasn't sure.

And then he said, "George! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Geo- come, come, come!"

Now there wasn't any stairway up to the stage. He had to give me a lift. I had to put my foot up, and he pulled me up onto the stage. And he says, "Ladies and gentlemen..." He says, "You know, I don't recognize you, it's been so many years. I recognize your suit."

You know, like that. Funny jokes. And then he said, "Would you like to hear him play?"

"Oh, yeah," they clap.

He says, "What would you like to play?"

I said, "The Blue Danube?"

(YouTube link)

You know, I mean, I didn't-- What was brilliant about that was, he didn't give me any direction. And in the ten years I was with him, he never gave me any direction on how to behave on the stage. So that it was always utterly natural. See, when I walked down the aisle, I wasn't sure. And that not being sure registered, so that the audience thought, "Sure, that's the guy."

Well. Now, the third concert I played with him, after we did Las Vegas. We did that, and we did a couple of other things. We were driving home to the hotel, and he said, "That dumb audience. They didn't get my best joke."

And I said, "Mr. Borge, you forgot the setup line. You usually say, 'blah-blah-blah-blah-blah,' and when you hit em on the punchline they know where you're coming. You forgot the blah-blah-blah."

So he turned around and looked at me, and for a split second I thought he was kidding. And then I realized he was dead serious. He said to me, "You take care of the piano playing, I take care of the comedy." So I said, "Oh, is that how it is? Fine."

So the next night, "How is the show?" "Terrific." "How's the show?" "Marvelous." "How's the show?" "Fantastic." "How's the show?" "Wonderful."

I'm just-- I didn't... Now, I learned that there wasn't a single show he did that he didn't fuck something up. But it didn't MATTER. Because they didn't know what it was supposed to be. And even if he fucked it up, he knew how to get them back.



So during that time when I first joined him he used to play Clair de Lune. And he would introduce it by saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to play Clair de Lune, by Claude Debussy, who unfortunately is dead." And that got a laugh. It's not funny, but because you know when a comedian is known as a funny man, they laugh.

And that went on for many, many performances. And then he said, "I'm going to play Clair de Lune, by Claude Debussy, who unfortunately is dead, I sincerely hope, because they buried him quite a few years ago." Well, that got a big laugh.

And that went on for a while. And he improvised, "I sincerely hope, because they buried him quite a few years ago... I didn't even know he was sick!"

That went on for weeks, and weeks, and weeks -- and he never added anything. So one day I said to him, "Borge, how come you're not adding something to it, you know, every once in a while?"

And he said, "Don't you remember studying Bach fugues?"

I said, "What are you talking about?"

He said, "Don't you remember when you studied the Bach fugues -- when you have episodes, you never do more than three. It's the same with a joke. When you're doing jokes, you never do more than three. Three is the optimum."

And I suddenly realized. I mean, here he knows about humor. Even though he improvises, he understands the principles of it.

Hungarian Rapsody No. 2
(YouTube link)
Victor Borge and Leonid Hambro performing in Stockholm in the 1960s.

So we're now -- 1963 -- in Melbourne, Australia. And it was my job to show my face to him before he walked out on stage. And so he's standing at the wing when I come in, and he said, "What's going on out there?"

I said, "What do you mean?"

He said, "That audience. Something is going on."

And I listened, and I said, "No, that's just blah-blah-blah. You know, the audience is just talking."

He said, "No, there's something different."

And then I suddenly realized. I said, "Did you see this afternoon's paper?"

He said, "No, what?" That was the afternoon that the Profumo scandal broke. You know, with Christine Keeler and some minister of war. So I showed him the paper, and he reads the headline and the lead paragraph. And he said, "I must say something funny about. My God, what can I say that's funny about this? Do you have anything funny to say about this?"

I say, "I think so."

He said, "Tell me."

I said, "I'd rather not."

He said, "What do you mean you'd rather not?"

So I said, "Well, you know, you explained to me that I'm the pianist -- I'm the musician and you're the comedian -- and I'd rather not."

And he said, "No, no. I have to say something about this. Everybody is talking about this. Tell me."

I said, "I'd rather not."

He said, "Why not?"

I said, "Because if you don't say it right -- and a lot of times you don't say things right -- and it doesn't work, then you'll say to me, 'What are you giving me such a terrible line for. I don't want that.'"

He said, "No. I'll... I'll do what you say. What should I say?"

I said, "Well, I'm going to tell you how to say it. But you've got to promise that this is just this way you're going to say it. Because you've taught me a lot about humor, and this is one of the things that I learned.



I said, "Tonight when you walk out on stage--." Now his opening was, before he would walk out on stage he would take a terrific drag of a cigarette, and then he'd walk out. He would open his mouth and blow the smoke out, and he would step back and say, "Holy smoke." That was his opening line. And of course, it instantly gets the audience going.

I said, "Tonight, when you blow the smoke, don't say "Holy Smoke." Say, "Holy Profumo." Now, there are going to be some people that will understand it, but it doesn't matter if they understand it or not, because you're going to follow it by saying, "You'd think the minister of war... could have a little piece."

Now, that turned out to be THE joke. And he was quoted in all the papers, and he got credit for the joke. When I told him that, by the way -- you know how comedians do -- say "the minister of war could have a little piece," he said

"That's very funny." He didn't laugh or anything. He said "That's very funny." And then from then on he would ask me.

We came to a place where I played on three pianos, his piano, and my piano for the two-piano work, and then an offstage piano. And then one day we came to a place where my piano on the stage was very old, and the keys were very yellow, it was so old. So he had the microphone -- the audience could never hear me -- and I turned to him and I pointed to my keys, and I said, "My elephant smoked too much."

He thought that was very funny, and he said, "Can any of you in the balcony see Mr. Hambro's keys? Mr. Hambro just told me that his elephant smoked too much." So he was willing to give credit.

 

The Minute Waltz
(YouTube link)
Victor Borge and Leonid Hambro in 1989.

[Ed. note: Leonid Hambro died in 2006 at the age of 86.]

_____________________

This article is republished with permission from the Jan-Feb 2001 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!

Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.

Scientific Research Suggests Plants Can Hear Themselves Being Eaten

Posted: 08 Jul 2014 04:00 AM PDT

(Image Via Roger Meissen)

Many vegetarians/vegans feel that raising animals for food is an inhumane and barbaric practice, yet they gladly chomp down on fresh fruits and vegetables without a care in the world for what those plants are feeling:

(Video Link)

Okay, so maybe saying a plant has feelings is a bit of an overstatement, but a new report from the University of Missouri-Columbia has revealed that plants respond to the sound of a caterpillar chewing on them by going into combat mode and releasing chemical agents meant to protect them from harm:

In the study, the researchers put caterpillars on Arabidopsis, a small, cabbage-like plant, and pointed a laser at a reflective section of the plant's surface. That way, they were able to measure the different ways the plant moved in response to a chewing caterpillar. Then, the scientists removed the caterpillar from the equation entirely and only played back recordings they'd made of the crunching caterpillar's vibrations. For another plant, they played back only silence.

After placing live caterpillars back on both sets of plants, the researchers found that the set that had been exposed to the caterpillar's feeding sounds produced more mustard oil, a chemical that's meant to fend off hungry critters.

These findings suggest that plants exhibit self preservation instincts, considered one of the basic instincts found in humans and animals that suggests they "feel" themselves being consumed by a caterpillar.

Will these new findings challenge the vegan argument that meat consumption is bad because "They can all feel pain, fear and happiness", or will they stop eating plants when we discover that plants have feelings too?

-Via Gizmodo

A Wheelchair Route for the Bold

Posted: 08 Jul 2014 03:00 AM PDT

(Photo: @s_konnyaku)

How well can you maneuver that wheelchair? You'd better be good, or you're going for a swim.

Annoying, but typical: the designers put the next save point on the far side of this path. If you want to continue the game, you'll have to spend a lot of time falling off this bridge.

Can anyone translate the text in this picture?

-via Brian Ashcraft

7 Myths About The Brain

Posted: 08 Jul 2014 02:00 AM PDT

(YouTube link)

There are certain bits of knowledge that are repeated so many times in popular culture that we eventually start to believe them. Many of these “facts” are oversimplifications and exaggerations of early research which is later refined and found to be not true at all. One of my kids recently discovered the “right brain-left brain” trope thanks to a Facebook quiz, and she’s going around pegging her friends as left-brained or right-brained on the basis of their personality quirks. Sigh.

AsapSCIENCE debunks some of the myths about the brain by looking at the latest research in their latest video. Your brain is probably just fine -and not so much different from other people’s brains. -via Viral Viral Videos

Toddler Walks on Prosthetic Legs for the First Time and Proclaims, "I Got It!"

Posted: 08 Jul 2014 01:00 AM PDT


(Video Link)

Hayden Kinckle casually says, "I got it" as he walks for the first time since January. It's been a long struggle. He was born with omphalocele, a birth defect in which the abdominal organs develop outside the body, rather than inside. Then, last January, doctors amputated his left leg and right foot.

These problems have slowed Hayden down, but they haven't stopped him. He's now walking again on prosthetic legs and a walker.

-via Huffington Post

Nightmare Playgrounds

Posted: 08 Jul 2014 12:00 AM PDT

This creature is in a sculpture garden for kids in Starokonstantinov, Ukraine. It’s part of an epic three-part series at Dark Roasted Blend on nightmarish playgrounds with weird structures from around the world that could traumatize children -or inspire them to grow up and write bestselling horror stories! Some of the pictures show outdated or damaged statues and structures, some are supposed to be “art,” and many were just intentionally designed to scare children. Some of them are charming in their own gruesome way. There are also pictures of sculptures that aren’t in playgrounds, but fit into the theme of “weird” quite well.

Part one.
Part two.
Part three.

(Image credit: Archiverba)

Woman's Creativity Lends Charm to the Bathroom Mirror Selfie

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 11:00 PM PDT



Instagram user Mirrorsme, who describes herself as a Norwegian living in Washington, D.C., creates these whimsical drawings on her bathroom mirror. This pastime, which started as messages to her roommate drawn on the mirror in lipstick, has graduated to her use of three kinds of markers (chalk, posca paint and acrylic) and sharing her work on her Instagram account and in a user submission at Bored Panda. She writes,

"I bought my last markers in New York, and the sales person just couldn’t understand why I needed all those acrylic markers to draw on mirrors. Later that night, I drew Brooklyn Bridge on my hotel room mirror in Midtown (it was a nice hotel too, with a huuuge mirror… but I decided to remove the mirror art before I left)...Normally, it takes less than 30 min. to draw, but I can really get lost in the process and enjoy it." 

Via Bored Panda
Images Credit: Mirrorsme



 

Ukai--The Art of Fishing with Cormorants

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 10:00 PM PDT


(Photo: Japan Guide)

Ukai is the Japanese name for a traditional fishing practice used in east Asia. In ukai, the fisherman takes a cormorant bird and ties a loop around its neck. The loop lets the bird breathe and swallow small items. But it stops the bird from swallowing large fish.

The fisherman then pushes or throws the bird into the water. The bird hunts for fish and swallows a few. The fisherman reels in the bird and gets it to spit up its catch.


(Video Link)

In Japan, ukai is not practical compared to modern commercial fishing, so it's mostly done in grand spectacles to amuse tourists along the Nagaragawa, Hozu, and Uji Rivers.


(Photo: Richard Schatzberger)

In China, however, cormorant fishing can still be a practical means of acquiring food.


(Video Link)

And you can see why. These birds can catch big fish!

-via Amusing Planet

Kill Team Princesses

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 08:00 PM PDT

These women are no damsels in distress! Artist Johnni Kok made some Disney Princesses into dangerous characters. These aren't drawn to be children's role models; this is fantasy art!

Check out Kok’s other women warriors at his DeviantART gallery, and continue reading to see the other armed princesses. -via Unreality magazine

It's Surprisingly Easy to Trap a Bug on a Piece of Paper by Just Drawing Lines with a Pen

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 07:00 PM PDT


(Video Link)

YouTube user thesam101 found a bug walking on a piece of paper, trying to escape. So he drew a line with a pen. The bug couldn't--or wouldn't--cross it and tried to find an alternate path. thesam101 drew more lines, cutting off every route of escape, but giving just a little open area to offer the bug a false hope. Then he trapped the bug once again.

I feel for ya, little guy. We all go through despairing times like this.

-via 22 Words

50 Creepy Locations Straight Out Of A Nightmare

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 06:00 PM PDT

We often assume that the nightmarish places found in works of fiction are wholly a figment of the creator’s imagination, but to those explorers who have seen some of the darkest and most nightmarish places on earth firsthand, Hell is a very real place on earth.

Here's the Door To Hell in Turkmenistan, a natural gas field that has been burning since it was lit by Soviet petrochemical scientists in 1971:

Of course, we’re not talking about Hell in the biblical sense, just a place that scares the bejeezus out of folks, like the Isla de las Muñecas (Island of Dolls) in Mexico City:

People have been hanging dolls from tree branches there since at least the 90s, claiming they're a dedication to a girl who drowned in the canal decades ago.

And then there are the ruins which surround the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station in Pripyat, Ukraine, which needs no explanation as to why it's considered a terrifying place:

There are even a few places that conceal sinister secrets behind their beautiful outer appearance, like Aokigahara, the "Suicide Forest", located at the base of Mt. Fuji in Japan:

So many people have committed suicide in this otherwise lush and gorgeous looking forest (57 in 2010 alone) that the mysterious place has earned a nightmarish reputation, and is believed by many Japanese people to be cursed by Demons.

Are you brave enough to venture forth and discover more terrifying travel destinations? Read on to discover 50 Places Straight Out of Nightmares, compiled by The Weather Channel.

Footage of Pilot Saving His Plane from Collision with Another

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 05:00 PM PDT

YouTube Link

Early in the morning of July 5, 2014, videographer Miguel Ángel captured a near catastrophic collision of two airplanes at Barcelona's El Prat International Airport. The incident involved a UTair Boeing 767-300 flying in from Moscow and an Aerolíneas Argentinas Airbus A340-300 taxiing down the runway in preparation for takeoff. 

The Utair 767 was just about to land on runway number two when the Russian pilot saw the Argentinas Airbus and quickly pulled up to avoid it. It's evident from the video how close this was to becoming a major disaster. Via Twisted Sifter.

Unbelievable Products You Can Actually Buy At Walmart

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 04:00 PM PDT

Walmart has become the most mega of all mega stores, with new locations popping up all over the country like the Starbucks of retail stores, and now they’re even opening new locations in many countries around the world.

They claim to have everything you could possibly need under their roofs, but as it turns out Walmart also stocks a ton of stuff nobody should ever need, like this amazingly tacky toilet decal:

Or these truly awful "denim" panties:

Walmart also sells some amazingly magical crap, like this low fat Jellybean flavored milk:

And this bacon scented pillow, so you can have delicious dreams about your favorite fatty food:

Looks like Walmart really is a one-stop shop for all things right and terribly wrong in this world, no wonder they’re constantly opening up new locations!

Check out the rest of the 31 Products You Won't Believe You Can Actually Buy At Walmart, brought to you by BuzzFeed.

We Go Forward

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 03:00 PM PDT

The latest comic from Shenanigansen at Owl Turd is an 8-bit video game illustrating our lives. This is just a small portion. When you read it all it his site, prepare yourself for the feels at the end. We can only go forward. -via Metafilter

The "Golden Age" of Commercial Air Flight

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 02:00 PM PDT


YouTube Link

Once upon a time, multi-course meals were regularly served on airplanes. Caviar. Lobster. Filet mignon. Pheasant. Along with the gourmet foods were the glamour-girl stewardesses who served them. It was around that time that the guy sitting next to you could light up a cigarette when the plane took off and chain smoke throughout the flight, no matter how anyone else felt about it.

This video, a trailer for an upcoming program airing July 13th and 14th on the Smithsonian Channel, takes viewers back in time to when air travel was more about luxury than necessity. Via Nag on the Lake.

The Beckoning Cats of Gotoku-ji Temple

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 01:00 PM PDT

Long-time Neatorama readers are no doubt familiar with Maneki Neko, the Japanese beckoning cat. Jürgen and Mike at For 91 Days got a chance to visit the Gotoku-ji temple, a shrine dedicated to Maneki Neko.

Worshipers at the Gotoku-ji often bring a Maneki Neko statue to leave for good luck. The result is a little surreal, with hundreds of cats sitting along a set of shelves outside a shrine. Except in size, they’re are all identical, exactly the same model with the same paw raised and the same beatific expression on their face.

The cat shrine is just one tiny section of the expansive Gotoku-ji temple, which, thanks to its location on the outskirts of the city, is usually very quiet.

There are pictures at For 91 Days that show plenty of ceramic cats, but you won’t get the feel of just how many there are until you watch the video panning from side to side.

Sixteen Hot New Eye Make-Up Looks

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 12:00 PM PDT

Looking to get potential love interests to actually look you in the eyes?

Then you should consult this handy illustrated chart featuring 16 Hot New Eye Make-Up Looks, created by Gemma Correll for the sake of those poor souls who keep leaving the house without some totally eye catching eye make-up slathered around their eyes.

With hot new looks like the Stormy Eye, Smoky Bacon eye, and (my personal fave) the Eye of Nietzsche you can knock ‘em dead with a wink, and the person you’ve got your eye on won’t be able to keep their eyes off of your eyes!

Grab some bacon, and a Sharpie, and a copy of the Necronomicon, and start applying your eye make-up the Gemma way today!

-Via Pleated Jeans

The Earliest Known Photo of the Star-Spangled Banner, 1873

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 11:00 AM PDT

Fort McHenry guarded the entrance to the harbor of Baltimore. After the British had burned America's capital city, they set their sights on Baltimore, a wealthy city ripe for looting and the home port of many of the American privateers that had ravaged British shipping.

On September 13, 1814, the British fleet attacked. The city and the fort were under blackout orders to make it harder for the gunners to aim. Only the British rockets and bombs illuminated the night sky. They revealed the 30 by 42-foot flag sewn by Mary Pickersgill, her daughter Caroline, and three other children: Eliza Young, Margaret Young, and Grace Wisher.

In the 1870s, George Henry Preble, an American naval officer, wrote a series of histories of the United States flag. As a part of his work, he took the earliest known photograph of then 59-year old Star-Spangled Banner.

-via American Digest

The Underwater Laboratory of Fabien Cousteau

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 10:00 AM PDT


YouTube Link

This brief video gives viewers a fleeting look at the underwater laboratory of Fabien Cousteau, the grandson of Jaques Cousteau. The lab was stationed near Key Largo, Florida recently, as Cousteau conducted a study on the impact of climate change on coral reefs. The video includes some interesting (unrelated) footage that Cousteau captured during the mission. Via Gizmodo. 

This is the Entrance to an Opera House

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 09:30 AM PDT


(Photo: Classical KDFC)

The conductor will ensure that you get into the parking lot at the Estonian National Opera. Drive in on the upstroke. Just hope that the tempo isn't too fast.

-via Twisted Sifter

The 66 Gestures Chimpanzees Use To Communicate With Each Other

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 09:00 AM PDT

(Image Via Current Biology)

Chimpanzees are extremely intelligent animals, there’s no doubt about that, but a new study published in Current Biology reveals the extent of their intelligence in the area of communication.

It seems chimps have developed a rather elaborate intentional communication system that consists of nineteen different messages, ranging from Let’s Groom! to Flirt with me…, which are relayed using 66 different gestures.

This thought provoking research study was led by Dr. Catherine Hobaiter, who claims this is "the only example of an intentional communication system (in which one individual sends a message to another individual) amongst animals”, although the jury is still out on whether or not lemurs have their own unique system of intentional communication:

(Image Via Ztona)

-Via Laughing Squid

Whodunit: The Coach's Last Play

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 08:30 AM PDT

The following is a Whodunit by Hy Conrad.  These mysteries are from The Little Giant® Book of Whodunits by Hy Conrad and Matt LaFleur. Can you solve the mystery before you read the solution?


Juliet Bricker watched as her husband dawdled over his Saturday morning breakfast. "What's wrong, dear?"

Coach Bricker could never hide anything from Juliet. "It's one of my star players. I found out the boy's involved with gamblers. Maybe he's not trying to throw games, but it's still enough to get him suspended and ruin his chances with the pros."

Juliet was sympathetic. College football was his whole life, and for the first time in years, Halberton State had a great team. "What are you going to do?"

"We're meeting at the field before practice. I have to hear his side of it."

Bricker kissed his wife good-bye, picked up his latest paperback novel, and headed for the door. Bricker was always reading—a holdover from his days as an English professor.

The team coordinator showed up half an hour before practice and found the coach lying in the middle of the field, his head bashed in.

"He didn't die instantly," the police chief said as he examined the scene. A ten-foot-long blood trail showed that Bricker had been crawling toward the field house. "What's this in his hand?" The chief peered in the clenched fist and saw the last page of Coach Bricker's paperback. The rest of the book lay back at the scene of the attack.

The Halberton team had three star players and these three became immediate suspects.

"I was in my dorm room all morning," said quarterback Matt McGuffin. "Coach said I had to spend some time reviewing the playbook."

On hearing the news, Alfie Goodall, defensive lineman, broke down and could barely blubber out his alibi. "Coach told me I had to lose some weight. I was out on the road this morning, running."
Donny Emory, tight end, claimed to be sleeping in. "Me and my roommate had a late night. He's still fast asleep. I barely got here in time for practice."

The chief thought over the case until it dawned on him. "Holy cow! Before he died, Coach Bricker identified his killer. Very clever."

Who does the chief suspect?

Show Answer

The whodunit above was provided by American mystery fiction author Hy Conrad.

In addition to his work in mystery and crime puzzles, Hy was also one of the original writers for the groundbreaking TV series Monk.

Currently, Hy is working on mystery novel series "Abel Adventures" as well as the Monk series of novels, starting with Mr. Monk Helps Himself (published by Penguin, order from Amazon here)

Check out Hy's official website and Facebook page - and stay tuned for more whodunits puzzlers on Neatorama from the master of whodunit mysteries himself!

Baby Elephant Takes a Dip

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 08:00 AM PDT



The Asian elephant herd at the Oregon Zoo consists of three adult males, three adult females and two juveniles, one-and-a-half-year-old Lily and her brother Samudra. Little Lily, pictured above, had fun swimming with the herd this past week.

As is typical of elephant behavior, the group drank, bathed and played in the cool waters of their enclosure. Elephants are naturally excellent swimmers, using their legs to paddle and their trunks to snorkel. Elephants live their lives in close proximity to fresh water and may drink upwards of 50 gallons of water per day. Via Zooborns.

Images Credit:  Shervin Hess

 

 

50 Great Tattoos Inspired by Children's Books

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 07:30 AM PDT

Tattoos are often permanent reminders of memories and ideas important to people. A good children's book can leave that kind of impression, which is why many people get inked with scenes, characters, and words from favorite books from their childhoods. Alanna Okun of BuzzFeed rounded up 50 tattoos inspired by children's literature. Here are some of my favorites from Okun's list.

Where's Waldo? He knows how to hide, especially if you have long hair. Here's a clever and discreet tattoo by nocturalbodyart.

The enchanting and unearthly Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd has been a popular bedtime story for generations. jillpicklepants selected two lines for it for her legs.

Crockett Johnson's Harold and the Purple Crayon has encouraged millions of children to use their imaginations and write on the walls of their homes. quarlophone's tattoo of Harold's instrument is, appropriately, very realistic.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince inspires wonder in both adults and children. americanmudbloodinlondon selected one of the pilot's own illustrations for her tattoo.

As a father, I love reading Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram to my own daughters. mollylucas1997 acquried this tattoo of Little Nutbrown Hare as a memorial.

You can find more children's book tattoos at BuzzFeed.

Lumberjack Rescues Bear

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 07:00 AM PDT

(YouTube link)

We’ve seen plenty of videos of dogs, cats, foxes, squirrels, skunks, and other critters that got their heads stuck in jars and cans, and needed human intervention. What do you do if you see a bear with a milk canister stuck on his head? If it’s you or me, there’s nothing we can do, because it’s a bear. But this guy in Wisconsin happens to be a forestry worker with a piece of heavy equipment called a forwarder. It’s like a giant claw, and he knows how to use it. Watch him use it to free this bear, and allow him to skedaddle off to the forest away from that big scary machine. -via Buzzfeed

Thief Returns 9/11 Firefighter's Flag and Apologizes

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 06:30 AM PDT

(Photo: NBC News)

Jonathan Ielpi was a New York City firefighter who died in the line of duty in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. He was a member of an entire family of firefighters, including his brother and father.

The September 11th Families Association gave Ielpi's sister, Melissa Brengel, an American flag to honor her brother's sacrifice. The flag had flown over the ruins of the World Trade Center in New York City. Last Tuesday, someone stole that flag off her home on Long Island.

On Thursday, that flag re-appeared on her front porch. There was a handwritten note with it that read, "I am so sorry, I had no idea." 

-via Huffington Post

Funny Pictures of the Day - NeatoPicto July 7, 2014

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 06:00 AM PDT

This Origami House Is As Sharp As It Is Chic

Posted: 07 Jul 2014 05:30 AM PDT

Ever put a crease in the corner of a piece of paper and think? This would look awesome as a house? Well maybe you should because that's exactly what Yukio Hashimoto's F-House looks like and it is totally stunning.

The crisp exterior may be totally modern, but the interior follows many traditional Japanese design practices, making the home all too attractive for those who have a modern edge and traditional values. 

Of course, even if you know nothing about Japanese design, it's still easy to appreciate the simple beauty in this great house: A Home Inspired By A Folded Over Sheet of Paper
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