2017/01/20

The World is Falling Apart As 7-Eleven Now Sells Breakfast Pizza and more...

How does this not violate international peace treaties? 7-Eleven thinks, for some reason, that they can replace the taquito and Slurpee as the breakfast of choice for 7-Eleveners across the nations. And to begin their own war against their own ...

 

The World is Falling Apart As 7-Eleven Now Sells Breakfast Pizza and more...


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The World is Falling Apart As 7-Eleven Now Sells Breakfast Pizza

fail 7 eleven adding breakfast pizza

How does this not violate international peace treaties?

7-Eleven thinks, for some reason, that they can replace the taquito and Slurpee as the breakfast of choice for 7-Eleveners across the nations. And to begin their own war against their own product, they’re dropping a breakfast atom bomb: A breakfast pizza.

7-Ellllllluuuuuvuuun…

via Gifs from the 80s

 

Oh, sorry. I passed out for a second there. I thought maybe I typed 7-Eleven breakfast pizza. Just going to take a quick look at the previous paragraaaaaaaa…

via Gifs from the 80s

Yup, Passed out again.

7-Eleven is adding breakfast pizza to their stores with such toppings as “smoked bacon, breakfast sausage, hickory-smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and peppered cream gravy on top of a flaky biscuit crust,” as well as my throw up. You can get these cheap-o pizza for two-for-$2 or an, gulp, entire pizza for $5.55.

“This is a hearty option for customers craving a warm breakfast in addition to their fresh-brewed cup of coffee on cold mornings,” said Nancy Smith, 7‑Eleven senior vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages. “And it’s great for sharing at the office giving co-workers another great option from the usual box of great donuts.”

This woman is downright dangerous. Be safe out thereeeeee...

via Gifs from the 80s

 

 

Submitted by: (via 7-Eleven)

Tagged: breakfast , pizza , gross , 711
       
 

Guy Loses His Mind in Profanity-Ridden Rant After Ridiculously Terrible Madden Glitch

😂😂😂 (via @chazwilliams_)

A video posted by Video Games (@videogames) on

Submitted by: (via videogames)

Tagged: rage , madden , nfl , rant , football , video games
       
 
 

Signs of the Times: The Funniest Protest Signs at the Trump Inauguration

Easily the best part of the a good protest, aside from exercising your First Amendment rights, are the funny protest signs. Why, they’re enough to get you through the tough January weather when you’re out there protesting the country’s very first (but probably not last) reality-TV gameshow host president. They do these things in January for a reason, don't they?

Anyway, here are some of the best protest signs we’ve seen so far:

Submitted by:

       
 

Inauguration Day Effortlessly Eclipsed By the Sheer Brilliance of George W. Bush Battling a Poncho

FAIL,donald trump,george w bush,president,election 2016,funny,politics

Truly the significance of this spontaneous moment is given away in the headline. In such dark and troubling (at least for some folks) times, it lightens the heart to be able to fall back upon the comedic relief of an ex-prez waging war on a seemingly possessed poncho. Thankful for this.

Submitted by:

       
 

The Dirty Duchess of Tinder Shares Some of Her More Entertaining Tinder Conversations

FAIL,tinder,cringe,tinder conversation,dating

What I love most of all when it comes to this particular Tinderer sharing her conversations is the fact that she addressed herself on Imgur as, The Lady Tinderer, which implies some vague sort of posh nobility to an otherwise dirtied and depraved modern day dating process. So big ups. I think. Or maybe she's just pretentious. Anyways, let's enjoy some solid Tinder conversing as portrayed from the lady's perspective.

Submitted by:

       
 

Did Anyone Else Just Catch Donald Trump Quote Bane During the Inauguration?

"You think Gold is your ally. I was born in it, moulded by it. "

During his Inauguration speech that reality-TV, gameshow host who is now our president, Donald Trump delivered a speech that sounded a little too familiar.

It sounded familiar because Bane gave a similar speech in 2012's Dark Knight Rises to the fine people of Gotham.

Actually lots of people noticed because they love Batman.

 

Submitted by:

       
 
 

Man, Like, No One Went to Trump's Inauguration

donald trump inauguration compared to obama

You can see a whole lot of green on the National Mall, and not the good kind.

Everyone knew that President Trump’s inauguration was having trouble putting people on stage and butts in seats, but compared to other inaugurations, this is pretty weak. Arial shots of the inauguration of the nation’s first reality-TV, gameshow host president reveal that not that many people went to this thing.



via Vox

Look at all that grass. It looks especially weak compared to Obama’s inauguration in 2009. Trump drew roughly 800,000 to 900,000 while Obama brought in about 1.8 million.



via Vox/Jewel Samad AP

And them together, side by side? Yeesh:



Yeesh. Nothing left to say but:

Submitted by: (via Vox)

       
 

The FLOTUS Transition Was a Cringe-Coated Show of Awkwardness Thanks to a Strange Gift Exchange

donald trump,cringe,election 2016,Michelle Obama,politics

What a day we have unfolding before us, and why not focus on what really matters right now. What is in the damn box?! For real. Minds near and far, 'mountain to mountain' are already running wild with creative inspiration on what could possibly have been in there. Outside the mystery gift, we're also enjoying the supremely cringeworthy performance that was the gift exchange. The grimace from Michelle Obama...very real.

Submitted by:

       
 

This Woman Lost Her Mixer and Now The Thief is Trolling Her Into Oblivion

This troll sure likes to mix it up.

When this woman lost her mixer in her pantry, she didn’t have any explanation. As far as she knew, it was right next to the bowl where she left it.

Then the “Thief” made an Instagram account of them using the mixer all over the world. Hasn’t this monster done enough?

Submitted by:

       
 

Aziz Ansari and Jimmy Fallon Give Dramatic Readings to Butthurt Yelp Reviews and It's Cringeworthy Comedic Gold

 

Cringeworthy comedic gold. Like actually though. Yelp doesn't get enough attention for the sheer amount of passive aggressive meets outright redfaced angry hockey dad reviews people churn out in the name of steering other people they've never met away from unacceptable establishments. Granted, some of these reviews are truly helpful.

I'm not trying to taste the fiery pits of a five star pad thai hell on a plate unless I know that that chicken's been cooked to completion. 

       
 

Get Billy Joel on the Phone Because This Kid at a Trump Protest Started the Fire

 

"We didn't start the fire."

Yeah, Conner started it.  Conner started the fire. Carter owned the fire. Carter is fire.

Conner got busted at anti-Trump rally at a fire. When Fox News if he participated in the fire, he responded, “I actually kind of started this fire.”

Why?

“Because I felt like it, and I’m saying, ‘Screw our president.”

via Simpsons World

Submitted by: (via www.youtube.com)

Tagged: Protest , kids , donald trump , win
       
 

Tattoo Artists Reveal the Tattoos They Tried to Talk People Out Of But Had To Give Anyway

If you're getting something on your body for the rest of your life, make sure you tattoo artist is cool with you.

Tattoo artists spend all day putting dumb shit on people's bodies, like the Pepsi logo or a future ex-girlfriend's name. When they try and talk you out of something, do yourself a favor: LISTEN.

Submitted by:

       
 
 

Future Person of the Year Remixed Trump's Inauguration Concert to Include Smash Mouth and I Can't Stop Watching It

donald trump,smash mouth,remix

I know everyone came here to hear 3 Doors Down for the first time in 16 years, but this is really important too!

Submitted by:

       
 

When No One Showed Up to Class, This Teacher Had a Minor Twitter Meltdown

He even put candy out!

If you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back you. Today, that the abyss is an empty classroom.

Teacher Adam Heath Avitable showed up for his class on time and proceeded to wait in an empty classroom for 95 minutes. No one showed up. But why? Was this a prank? Was this a protest? Did I leave the oven on? Why did no one show up for his class?

via GIPHY

Avitable racked his brains for answers, documenting his descent into madness on Twitter, and thank god he did, because it’s hilarious.

Watch this man fall into the abyss! Fun!

Submitted by:

       
 
 
 
   

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