The World is Falling Apart As 7-Eleven Now Sells Breakfast Pizza  How does this not violate international peace treaties? 7-Eleven thinks, for some reason, that they can replace the taquito and Slurpee as the breakfast of choice for 7-Eleveners across the nations. And to begin their own war against their own product, they’re dropping a breakfast atom bomb: A breakfast pizza. 7-Ellllllluuuuuvuuun… via Gifs from the 80s Oh, sorry. I passed out for a second there. I thought maybe I typed 7-Eleven breakfast pizza. Just going to take a quick look at the previous paragraaaaaaaa… via Gifs from the 80s Yup, Passed out again. 7-Eleven is adding breakfast pizza to their stores with such toppings as “smoked bacon, breakfast sausage, hickory-smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and peppered cream gravy on top of a flaky biscuit crust,” as well as my throw up. You can get these cheap-o pizza for two-for-$2 or an, gulp, entire pizza for $5.55. “This is a hearty option for customers craving a warm breakfast in addition to their fresh-brewed cup of coffee on cold mornings,” said Nancy Smith, 7‑Eleven senior vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages. “And it’s great for sharing at the office giving co-workers another great option from the usual box of great donuts.” This woman is downright dangerous. Be safe out thereeeeee...
via Gifs from the 80s 
Signs of the Times: The Funniest Protest Signs at the Trump Inauguration Easily the best part of the a good protest, aside from exercising your First Amendment rights, are the funny protest signs. Why, they’re enough to get you through the tough January weather when you’re out there protesting the country’s very first (but probably not last) reality-TV gameshow host president. They do these things in January for a reason, don't they? Anyway, here are some of the best protest signs we’ve seen so far: 
The Dirty Duchess of Tinder Shares Some of Her More Entertaining Tinder Conversations What I love most of all when it comes to this particular Tinderer sharing her conversations is the fact that she addressed herself on Imgur as, The Lady Tinderer, which implies some vague sort of posh nobility to an otherwise dirtied and depraved modern day dating process. So big ups. I think. Or maybe she's just pretentious. Anyways, let's enjoy some solid Tinder conversing as portrayed from the lady's perspective. 
Did Anyone Else Just Catch Donald Trump Quote Bane During the Inauguration? "You think Gold is your ally. I was born in it, moulded by it. " During his Inauguration speech that reality-TV, gameshow host who is now our president, Donald Trump delivered a speech that sounded a little too familiar. It sounded familiar because Bane gave a similar speech in 2012's Dark Knight Rises to the fine people of Gotham. Actually lots of people noticed because they love Batman. 
Man, Like, No One Went to Trump's Inauguration You can see a whole lot of green on the National Mall, and not the good kind. Everyone knew that President Trump’s inauguration was having trouble putting people on stage and butts in seats, but compared to other inaugurations, this is pretty weak. Arial shots of the inauguration of the nation’s first reality-TV, gameshow host president reveal that not that many people went to this thing.
via Vox Look at all that grass. It looks especially weak compared to Obama’s inauguration in 2009. Trump drew roughly 800,000 to 900,000 while Obama brought in about 1.8 million. 
via Vox/Jewel Samad AP
And them together, side by side? Yeesh:
Yeesh. Nothing left to say but: 
The FLOTUS Transition Was a Cringe-Coated Show of Awkwardness Thanks to a Strange Gift Exchange What a day we have unfolding before us, and why not focus on what really matters right now. What is in the damn box?! For real. Minds near and far, 'mountain to mountain' are already running wild with creative inspiration on what could possibly have been in there. Outside the mystery gift, we're also enjoying the supremely cringeworthy performance that was the gift exchange. The grimace from Michelle Obama...very real. 
This Woman Lost Her Mixer and Now The Thief is Trolling Her Into Oblivion This troll sure likes to mix it up. When this woman lost her mixer in her pantry, she didn’t have any explanation. As far as she knew, it was right next to the bowl where she left it. Then the “Thief” made an Instagram account of them using the mixer all over the world. Hasn’t this monster done enough? 
Aziz Ansari and Jimmy Fallon Give Dramatic Readings to Butthurt Yelp Reviews and It's Cringeworthy Comedic Gold Cringeworthy comedic gold. Like actually though. Yelp doesn't get enough attention for the sheer amount of passive aggressive meets outright redfaced angry hockey dad reviews people churn out in the name of steering other people they've never met away from unacceptable establishments. Granted, some of these reviews are truly helpful.
I'm not trying to taste the fiery pits of a five star pad thai hell on a plate unless I know that that chicken's been cooked to completion. 
When No One Showed Up to Class, This Teacher Had a Minor Twitter Meltdown He even put candy out! If you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back you. Today, that the abyss is an empty classroom. Teacher Adam Heath Avitable showed up for his class on time and proceeded to wait in an empty classroom for 95 minutes. No one showed up. But why? Was this a prank? Was this a protest? Did I leave the oven on? Why did no one show up for his class? via GIPHY Avitable racked his brains for answers, documenting his descent into madness on Twitter, and thank god he did, because it’s hilarious. Watch this man fall into the abyss! Fun! 
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