Hackers are Attacking Open Printers With Cool ASCII Memes in the Name of Better Cybersecurity The cyber is important, and if we’re going to defend our most important assets, it’s gotta start with the cyber. We’ve gotta do it. But if you ask the hacker “stackoverflowin,” a prime component that needs protection is the printer port 9100, which is currently and totally open for external connections. Thousands of printers, apparently, are open to attack. So stackoverlfowin is showing how easy it is to hack by sending these cool ASC-II pictures, andhas hit over 150,000 printers with one piece of malicious software. Still, these ASCII designs are cool and stackoverflowin's victims have been sharing the pictures on Twitter. Hopefully, they’re also closing up those ports too. 
Now That He's Not President, Barack Obama Finally Has a Chance to Get Back to His Passion: Kitesurfing Since January 20, a reality-TV gameshow host became president, millions of people took to the streets in protest, America has offended many of its close allies, and we’ve debated whether or not Trump owns a bathrobe. To say it’s been a weird couple of weeks would be an understatement. But there’s one person who seems pretty happy to not deal with it: Barack Obama. Now that he’s not president anymore, Obama has been living it up by both wearing a backwards cap and going kitesurfing with professional rich guy Richard Branson. Curiously enough, I think that’s how Ronald Reagan spent the first few weeks following his presidency. Check out these pictures of old Barry just having a blast as the rest of bite our nails. 
Funny Reactions to the Marvel's Amazing New 'Iron Fist' Trailer In case you just crawled from out your cave of social media-deprived solitude, Marvel dropped a new trailer today for 'Iron Fist' and let's just say it didn't fail to garner a sweet mix of stoked and anything-but-pleased reactions from folks across Twitter. Here's the trailer, and some of the more memorable reactions to surface so far. 
Sandwich Thief Gets a Taste of Sweet Sweet Justice Anyone in an office workspace knows how infuriating it can be when someone takes your things. Sometimes the only thing getting you through the day is the thought of that sweet delicious sandwich sitting in the fridge. So, when that little thread of hope is the only thing keeping you together something so small can make you come unhinged. Of course, when this occurs over the course of several days it will REALLY start to get to you. It will prompt even the sanest of us into posting normally outrageous notes. Basically, if you have the choice in life, don't be a Francis. 
Girls Share The Things Guys Did to Screw Up Their Chances at a Second Date What we have here is a guide book of dating pro tips, a sweet shot at second date redemption fellas. Dating is a tough and maddening business. There's no other way around it. Immense reserves of emotional energy go into mere 'drinks at happy hour' or 'coffees at that cute shop down the street', so much so that it's actually ridiculously daunting sometimes. While other times, the stars align, you pull the right 'moves', and miraculously f*ck up to such a minimal extent that you actually get invited back for a second show. The pro tips passed off in this discussion are reasonable enough, and massively helpful in the dating game, where so much of what's 'right' and wrong' for dating etiquette is entirely assumed, and never spoken. Finally, some checkpoints. 
Canada Reaches Peak Canada When A Man Tries to Plow Snow With a Zamboni He Owns for Some Reason If there's one thing Canadians like doing, it's playing into stereotypes. Whether they're being ridiculously nice and pleasant or fawning over maple syrup, our neighbors to the north love to play up their Canadianess. Case in point, this guy who tried to plow snow with a zamboni when his town wouldn't. More importantly, this guy owning a zamboni. Who owns a zamboni? This guy. Check it out: 
People Are Super Confused With This Stock Photo of 'Over-55 Woman' and the Twitter Reactions are Comedy Gold The stock photo game is no doubt a whole lotta swingin, occasionally hittin, often missin; and this photo is a prime wrinkled, seasoned, and well-aged example. Shit, maybe we're just seeing some strange Benjamin Button kind of scenario unfold before our eyes. You know, the whole aging in reverse thing? I don't know man, this one pretty much escapes logic and reason, and we're all definitely confused. But hey, age is just a number after all. 
24 Shamelessly Superficial Conversations Overheard in LA That'll Make You Wonder Why It's Called 'The City of Angels' These definitely didn't fail to capture the true absurdity and high maintenance madness spawned by this era of rapid technological innovation. Anyone planning on using 'in phone years' as a measurement going forwards? That shit's timely, UBER cultured, and shows all signs of minimal brain activity. Who needs to think for themselves in this tech giant dominated day and age anyways, when we have artificially intelligent minions like Siri and Alexa around to take care of the busy work for us; and that crazy little, once-evasive bastard called love, or a mindless hook-up is one right swipe or super like away? Anyways, all rants aside, these are hilarious. 
The White House Said Trump Doesn't Own a Bathrobe, Twitter Responds, "This Picture Says Otherwise" It's been a wild 24 hours for President Trump and what he wears after a bath. First, the "failing" New York Times reported that "when Mr. Trump is not watching television in his bathrobe or on his phone reaching out to old campaign hands and advisers, he will sometimes set off to explore the unfamiliar surroundings of his new home," which makes our president seem like some sort of lost old man. Then, the White House responded saying, "I don’t think the president owns a bathrobe. He definitely doesn’t wear one.” Two things: 1) Why wouldn't you own a bathrobe — it's essentially a blanket you can wear — and 2) Don't our tax dollars pay for White House-branded bathrobes? So now, it's up to us to make up our own mind. To that we say, our minds are made up becuase here's a picture of Trump wearing a bathrobe, and Twitter is having a field day with it. Check it out: 
These 22 Passenger Reviews Perfectly Capture the Hilarious Chaos of Taking an Uber Can say in all honesty that these were a delight. Opting for a ride share service like Lyft or Uber invites the wild and unpredictable, and if you're 'pooling' or 'lining' (sharing rides with other drivers that may or may not be bane of the earth individuals with irritable inabilities to shut the hell up and/or not be obnoxious) voices and the uncomfortable. But hey, let's just roll with the cliche fortune cookie one liner that goes something like: the core of a person's spirit is measured in their passion for new experiences, or some unpleasantly preach-worthy sentiment like that. In this case, I can get down with it. You'd be surprised at the kinds of stories you're bound to rack up if you get out there and hail enough rides --- just don't get shit on by that soul-crushing surge rate. 
LeBron James Made an Amazing Three Last Night and Twitter Is Losing It At a certain point, it would be cool if LeBron James let someone else do something cool. Like, for instance, I can do a wheelie on my GT Performer, and no one is making a cool list for me. But until then, just watch in awe as LeBron James makes an amazing free and people made a bunch of hilarious reactions to it. 
Merriam-Webster Is At It Again After The White House Released a List of "Under-reported" Terror Attacks Riddled With Spelling Errors Following President Trump’s tweetstorm about how the free press, voters who participate in polls, and federal judges are all pretty much fake, that reality-TV gameshow host that the media was under-reporting terror a ttacks because “they have their reasons.” When the media asked for proof, the White House released a list of 70 allegedly under-reported terror attacks, despite most of them receiving some to heavy press coverage. For example, San Bernardino was on the list — though it was spelled wrong. Also on the list 22 times was the word “attaker," which, as a quick Google search will show, is not how you spell “attacker.” Ignoring red squiggly line after red squiggly line on their word processor, the White House released their statement filled with spelling errors. Luckily, Merriam-Webster’s Twitter account to make everything great again. 
There's No Road to Recovery From These 26 Savage, Silencing Comebacks Straight up smoky in this room right now from all these roastings. There's a great much to be said for the witty comeback-spewing cretins out there that can think on their feet, and maintain their cool in the fiery face of a pestilent shithead that just has it in for them, on any given day. 
There's a Restaurant That Serves Burgers That Look Like Legos and Everything Is Awesome Brick Burger in Manila, Philippines takes the idea of building your own burger very seriously. They have developed a new burger that looks like a Lego, and I’m torn between nostalgic delight and horror at the idea of a red or black bun. It’s really these colors that gross me out. But the burger itself looks pretty good. The bun is shaped like a Lego brick, and after years of stepping on those things, you can finally eat them. Revenge is a dish best served with lettuce, tomato, and ketchup. H/T Mashable 
Trump Assures Nation That He's "Calling the Shots" on Wildly Unpopular Policy Decisions Two weeks into his presidency America’s first reality-TV gameshow host president has some pretty low approval ratings, but at least he’s owning them. Many presumed that the real puppet master is Trump’s chief strategist and white supremacist Steve Bannon, leading to the President Bannon jokes all over the internet. But the big man was quick to take ownership of the chaos his presidency has caused, blasting out this reassuring and not concerning tweet: So as will be the game from now until the rest of our goddamn lives, every time Trump says anything, the world will make fun of him. This time is no exception because Twitter is calling the shots on this one. 
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