2017/02/07

Dude's Illustrative Amazon Review for 'Constipation Aid' Device Deserves Nothing Short of Pulitzer Prize and more...

This is easily the funniest Amazon 'review' I've read in a very long time. Anyone out there actually make use of this product?

 

Dude's Illustrative Amazon Review for 'Constipation Aid' Device Deserves Nothing Short of Pulitzer Prize and more...


 In This Issue...



Dude's Illustrative Amazon Review for 'Constipation Aid' Device Deserves Nothing Short of Pulitzer Prize

reviews,amazon,funny

This is easily the funniest Amazon 'review' I've read in a very long time. Anyone out there actually make use of this product? 

Submitted by:

Tagged: reviews , amazon , funny
       
 

Guy Forgets About Leaving His Number on Dippin Dots Bathroom Wall, Hilarious Conversation and Unexpected Friendship Ensues

spontaneous,dippin dots,amazing,food,texting

They don't call it the 'ice cream' of the future for nothing. What we can see in this conversation here, is the beginnings of a long and fruitful friendship between likeminded bros that have an appetite for spontaneity and yes, of course, the Dippin Dots. Nobody go telling DJ Trump's main ice-cream hating henchman, Sean Spicer about all this though...because Dots Bro is the REAL MVP.

Submitted by:

       
 
 
 

Hackers are Attacking Open Printers With Cool ASCII Memes in the Name of Better Cybersecurity

hackers,own

The cyber is important, and if we’re going to defend our most important assets, it’s gotta start with the cyber. We’ve gotta do it.

But if you ask the hacker “stackoverflowin,” a prime component that needs protection is the printer port 9100, which is currently and totally open for external connections. Thousands of printers, apparently, are open to attack. So stackoverlfowin is showing how easy it is to hack by sending these cool ASC-II pictures, andhas hit over 150,000 printers with one piece of malicious software. 

Still, these ASCII designs are cool and stackoverflowin's victims have been sharing the pictures on Twitter. Hopefully, they’re also closing up those ports too.

Submitted by:

Tagged: hackers , own
       
 
 

Crazy Chick Gets Ghosted By Guy On Bumble, Proceeds To Troll Him For a Year By Pretending He's Her Boyfriend

bumble,trolling,dating

This is straight lunacy. We've gotta be dealing with a next-level, superstar kind of a Bumble bio for her to go to such efforts. Or she was even more desperate for the potential social media fame/notoriety than she was in dating the dude to begin with. Either way, it's totally reasonable to assume our 'deleted Bumble user' at hand named Joe is safely wrapped up in some solid witness protecting his ass kind of program.

Submitted by:

Tagged: bumble , trolling , dating
       
 

Now That He's Not President, Barack Obama Finally Has a Chance to Get Back to His Passion: Kitesurfing

Since January 20, a reality-TV gameshow host became president, millions of people took to the streets in protest, America has offended many of its close allies, and we’ve debated whether or not Trump owns a bathrobe. To say it’s been a weird couple of weeks would be an understatement.

But there’s one person who seems pretty happy to not deal with it: Barack Obama.

Now that he’s not president anymore, Obama has been living it up by both wearing a backwards cap and going kitesurfing with professional rich guy Richard Branson. Curiously enough, I think that’s how Ronald Reagan spent the first few weeks following his presidency.

Check out these pictures of old Barry just having a blast as the rest of bite our nails.

Submitted by:

       
 

Funny Reactions to the Marvel's Amazing New 'Iron Fist' Trailer

iron fist,marvel,reactions,superheroes

In case you just crawled from out your cave of social media-deprived solitude, Marvel dropped a new trailer today for 'Iron Fist' and let's just say it didn't fail to garner a sweet mix of stoked and anything-but-pleased reactions from folks across Twitter. Here's the trailer, and some of the more memorable reactions to surface so far.

Submitted by:

       
 

Sandwich Thief Gets a Taste of Sweet Sweet Justice

art of trolling,trolling

Anyone in an office workspace knows how infuriating it can be when someone takes your things. Sometimes the only thing getting you through the day is the thought of that sweet delicious sandwich sitting in the fridge. So, when that little thread of hope is the only thing keeping you together something so small can make you come unhinged. Of course, when this occurs over the course of several days it will REALLY start to get to you. It will prompt even the sanest of us into posting normally outrageous notes. 

Basically, if you have the choice in life, don't be a Francis.

Submitted by:

       
 

Girls Share The Things Guys Did to Screw Up Their Chances at a Second Date

dates,askreddit,dating

What we have here is a guide book of dating pro tips, a sweet shot at second date redemption fellas. Dating is a tough and maddening business. There's no other way around it. Immense reserves of emotional energy go into mere 'drinks at happy hour' or 'coffees at that cute shop down the street', so much so that it's actually ridiculously daunting sometimes. While other times, the stars align, you pull the right 'moves', and miraculously f*ck up to such a minimal extent that you actually get invited back for a second show. The pro tips passed off in this discussion are reasonable enough, and massively helpful in the dating game, where so much of what's 'right' and wrong' for dating etiquette is entirely assumed, and never spoken. Finally, some checkpoints.

Submitted by:

Tagged: dates , askreddit , dating
       
 

Canada Reaches Peak Canada When A Man Tries to Plow Snow With a Zamboni He Owns for Some Reason

If there's one thing Canadians like doing, it's playing into stereotypes. Whether they're being ridiculously nice and pleasant or fawning over maple syrup, our neighbors to the north love to play up their Canadianess. 

Case in point, this guy who tried to plow snow with a zamboni when his town wouldn't. More importantly, this guy owning a zamboni. Who owns a zamboni? This guy. Check it out:

Submitted by:

       
 
 

'Cash Me Ousside' Girl And Her Mom Start Up A Brawl On A Plane, and This Video Is Just Ridiculous

 

Reports are already coming in that all three involved in the brawl were finally kicked off the plane, and permanently banned from the airline. 

Submitted by: (via TMZ )

Tagged: brawl , fight , ridiculous , Video
       
 

Guys, Sean Spicer Is On Venmo and People Are Asking Him For Money

Look, we're trying to ease up on the White House, Trump-adjacent stuff, but come on.

Submitted by:

       
 

14 Slutty Tacos That Said Screw the Dress Code, We're Doing It Live With Extra Hotness Sauce for Taco Tuesday

tacos,yummy,food

And we're back at it again with the weekly platter of our favorite shamelessly slutty tacos. Taco Tuesday is a comfort to the soul, and if anything helps pick up the positive momentum to truck through the Tuesday Blues for that sweet halfway mark we call Hump Day. 

Submitted by:

Tagged: tacos , yummy , food
       
 

Someone Grab the Smelling Salts, Cause Roger Goodell Just Got Clotheslined By These Brutal Signs at Patriots Parade

sign,nfl,insult,football

The Patriots parade has officially commenced and taken Boston by storm. The streets are flooded with loyal adrenaline-drunk fans and red-faced angry hockey dads alike, all expressing their hilarious hatred for Roger Goodell through the nice medium of big, bold signs. With hundreds to choose from, these were our favorites. 

Submitted by:

Tagged: sign , nfl , insult , football
       
 

People Are Super Confused With This Stock Photo of 'Over-55 Woman' and the Twitter Reactions are Comedy Gold

twitter,confusing,reactions

The stock photo game is no doubt a whole lotta swingin, occasionally hittin, often missin; and this photo is a prime wrinkled, seasoned, and well-aged example. Shit, maybe we're just seeing some strange Benjamin Button kind of scenario unfold before our eyes. You know, the whole aging in reverse thing? I don't know man, this one pretty much escapes logic and reason, and we're all definitely confused. But hey, age is just a number after all.

Submitted by:

       
 

24 Shamelessly Superficial Conversations Overheard in LA That'll Make You Wonder Why It's Called 'The City of Angels'

los angeles,california,superficial

These definitely didn't fail to capture the true absurdity and high maintenance madness spawned by this era of rapid technological innovation. Anyone planning on using 'in phone years' as a measurement going forwards? That shit's timely, UBER cultured, and shows all signs of minimal brain activity. Who needs to think for themselves in this tech giant dominated day and age anyways, when we have artificially intelligent minions like Siri and Alexa around to take care of the busy work for us; and that crazy little, once-evasive bastard called love, or a mindless hook-up is one right swipe or super like away? 

Anyways, all rants aside, these are hilarious. 

Submitted by:

       
 

The White House Said Trump Doesn't Own a Bathrobe, Twitter Responds, "This Picture Says Otherwise"

It's been a wild 24 hours for President Trump and what he wears after a bath. 

First, the "failing" New York Times reported that "when Mr. Trump is not watching television in his bathrobe or on his phone reaching out to old campaign hands and advisers, he will sometimes set off to explore the unfamiliar surroundings of his new home," which makes our president seem like some sort of lost old man.

Then, the White House responded saying, "I don’t think the president owns a bathrobe. He definitely doesn’t wear one.”

Two things: 1) Why wouldn't you own a bathrobe — it's essentially a blanket you can wear — and 2) Don't our tax dollars pay for White House-branded bathrobes?

So now, it's up to us to make up our own mind. To that we say, our minds are made up becuase here's a picture of Trump wearing a bathrobe, and Twitter is having a field day with it. Check it out: 

 

Submitted by:

       
 

These 22 Passenger Reviews Perfectly Capture the Hilarious Chaos of Taking an Uber

Can say in all honesty that these were a delight. Opting for a ride share service like Lyft or Uber invites the wild and unpredictable, and if you're 'pooling' or 'lining' (sharing rides with other drivers that may or may not be bane of the earth individuals with irritable inabilities to shut the hell up and/or not be obnoxious) voices and the uncomfortable. But hey, let's just roll with the cliche fortune cookie one liner that goes something like: the core of a person's spirit is measured in their passion for new experiences, or some unpleasantly preach-worthy sentiment like that. In this case, I can get down with it. You'd be surprised at the kinds of stories you're bound to rack up if you get out there and hail enough rides --- just don't get shit on by that soul-crushing surge rate. 

Submitted by:

       
 

LeBron James Made an Amazing Three Last Night and Twitter Is Losing It

lebron james,basketball

At a certain point, it would be cool if LeBron James let someone else do something cool. Like, for instance, I can do a wheelie on my GT Performer, and no one is making a cool list for me. 

But until then, just watch in awe as LeBron James makes an amazing free and people made a bunch of hilarious reactions to it. 

Submitted by:

       
 

Indoor Skydiving Looks So Cool That I Think I Should Quit My Job and Become a Professional Indoor Skydiver

Everyone has dreams. For some it’s to be a professional basketball player, for others it’s to be, I don’t know, some kind of good-at-video-games guy. For me, as of 10 minutes ago, it’s to become a professional indoor skydiving. Mostly so I can pull of these sick Matrix moves in real life.

Check these out:

Submitted by:

       
 

Merriam-Webster Is At It Again After The White House Released a List of "Under-reported" Terror Attacks Riddled With Spelling Errors

donald trump,dictionary,sean spicer,politics

Following President Trump’s tweetstorm about how the free press, voters who participate in polls, and federal judges are all pretty much fake, that reality-TV gameshow host that the media was under-reporting terror a ttacks because “they have their reasons.” When the media asked for proof, the White House released a list of 70 allegedly under-reported terror attacks, despite most of them receiving some to heavy press coverage. For example, San Bernardino was on the list — though it was spelled wrong.

Also on the list 22 times was the word “attaker," which, as a quick Google search will show, is not how you spell “attacker.” Ignoring red squiggly line after red squiggly line on their word processor, the White House released their statement filled with spelling errors. Luckily, Merriam-Webster’s Twitter account to make everything great again.

Submitted by:

       
 

There's No Road to Recovery From These 26 Savage, Silencing Comebacks

witty comebacks,banter,insult

Straight up smoky in this room right now from all these roastings. There's a great much to be said for the witty comeback-spewing cretins out there that can think on their feet, and maintain their cool in the fiery face of a pestilent shithead that just has it in for them, on any given day. 

Submitted by:

       
 

There's a Restaurant That Serves Burgers That Look Like Legos and Everything Is Awesome

 

Brick Burger in Manila, Philippines takes the idea of building your own burger very seriously.

They have developed a new burger that looks like a Lego, and I’m torn between nostalgic delight and horror at the idea of a red or black bun. It’s really these colors that gross me out.

But the burger itself looks pretty good. The bun is shaped like a Lego brick, and after years of stepping on those things, you can finally eat them. Revenge is a dish best served with lettuce, tomato, and ketchup.

H/T Mashable

Submitted by: (via FHM Philippines)

Tagged: burger , lego
       
 

If You Need Something to Believe In, Believe In This Chicken Playing "My Country 'Tis of Thee" on the Keyboard

 

In these times of constitutional crisis, when a reality-TV gameshow host/president is slowly delegitimizing the rule of law, it can be hard to find hope. But the sun is shining, and we live to fight again. Leading the charge: This chicken playing "My Country 'Tis of Thee" on a keyboard. 

Refill the cup of patriotism and wave your miniture American flag with pride. Old glory, she's still got a few tricks up her sleeve.. 

via US National Archive

Submitted by: (via Two Creative Chicks)

Tagged: america , chickens
       
 

Cause For Celebration

win image text breakup confetti

Submitted by: (via @MadsTheCreator)

Tagged: text , breakup
       
 

Trump Assures Nation That He's "Calling the Shots" on Wildly Unpopular Policy Decisions

Two weeks into his presidency America’s first reality-TV gameshow host president has some pretty low approval ratings, but at least he’s owning them.

Many presumed that the real puppet master is Trump’s chief strategist and white supremacist Steve Bannon, leading to the President Bannon jokes all over the internet. But the big man was quick to take ownership of the chaos his presidency has caused, blasting out this reassuring and not concerning tweet:

So as will be the game from now until the rest of our goddamn lives, every time Trump says anything, the world will make fun of him. This time is no exception because Twitter is calling the shots on this one.

Submitted by:

       
 

Vibrating Panties Trick on Girlfriend Has Devastating Climax - Orgasms In Front of Mom

 

Shoutout to the girlfriend in this cringe-coated, vibrating disasterpiece of a prank, for putting up with our Vlog Bro of the hour's antics. His mom definitely gets some chill points as well.

Pro Tip: driving with a pair of vibrating panties on is no joke, bro. 

Submitted by: (via HammyTV )

Tagged: FAIL , girlfriend , prank , dating
       
 
 
   

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