Seth Meyers Has a Lot Questions About Melania Trump's Confusing Magazine Cover Melania Trump, the woman married to that reality-TV gameshow host who's currently our president, recently appeared on Vanity Fair Mexico to promote being rich. And to promote being rich, she is seen on the cover eating a string of diamonds, and what the hell?
Yeah. This clip is funny and the cover is weird. So enjoy! 
Punch a Nazi With Pepe's Punch-Out Video Game and Be the Change You Want to See in the World 
Inspired by the fun of watching a Nazi get punched in the fact, the fine folks have CAFE are putting the power in your hands. Now you can clench a fist and take out a Nazi, as long as that Nazi is a smug cartoon frog. Yup, much like the NES game Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!, you can engage in a digital brawl with a digital opponent. This one, however, is yes, Pepe the Frog, the Nazi mascot of today because nothing says Uber Mensch like crudely drawn amphibian. Play Pepe’s Punch-Out! 
Triumph the Insult Dog's Outtakes From Trump's Inauguration Are Brutally Hilarious Shoutout to the soulless walking wet far that pulled off a solid hate crime when she went and ripped up Triumph's cigar. I understand it might be tough to maintain a sense of humor when you don't own a television set (cause you're still on that radio game), and your ideal day was having the dirty neighborhood cat lick Tapioca pudding off your toes while you played BINGO against some senile dude named Saul that was only playing to begin with cause he already forgot about the last time.
But hey, I'm sure Triumph's got a fresh stoge on deck. So at least we have that. 
People Share The Best Drunk Purchases They've Ever Made Everyone's been there. You're two sheets to the wind, and you decide that maybe you should buy two sheets or maybe just some fries. Getting drunk and ordering shit on the internet is a national pastime at this point and deserves to be honored as such. The fine folks over on Reddit are sharing some of their best drunk purchases. From managing their finances to sex toys, these items range from the practical to the extravagant. But the best ones are the snacks. Everyone likes snacks. 
Denny's Got Really Weird About Beyonce's Pregnancy Announcement Everyone was happy to learn today that Beyonce is pregnant, especially Denny's Diner. You know Denny's, it's that place you stumble into whenever you're FUBAR. Well, you and Denny's social media manager have something in common because they definitely seem pretty messed up right now. This tweet they sent out to congratulating Beyonce is, well, something, and people are confused. Check it out: 
Take a Mini Vacation as Reddit Shares Their Best (and Scariest) Salvia Trips Don't do drugs or you could turn into a building supply. At least that's what happened to a bunch of these Redditors. Describing their salvia trips, it became clear to many on Reddit that turning into a piece of wood is a shared experience among people who have taken the drug, which is weird and scary. But who wouldn't want to be a piece of wood in this economy. You always need wood. 
Amazon Reviews Section for the Book 'Diseases Caused By Masturbation' Is a Comedic Goldmine The jerkoff artists of the world probably don't give a shit about the latest proclaimed condemnation of masturbation being some sort of disease causing evil on the world. The only condition a dude is bound to retract if he spends too much time making besties with his strong hand and a bottle of the Lubriderm (or whatever) is a crippling hand cramp with a side of tendonitis. 
This Guy Just Won Protest Signs There have been a lot of great protest signs lately. We've covered a lot of them. But is there anything better than one made on the fly and placed in front of a camera that directly refutes someone as they're talking.
That's what happened in European parliment today when Brexiter Nigel Farage took the floor and Seb Dance, a Labour MEP, trolled the shit out him. Holding up a sign that reads "He's lying to you."
That's some expert trolling. Good work. 
This Third Grader Has No Time For The Boy Who Cried Wolf or Your Bullshit Look, The Boy Who Cried Wolf is complete dog shit. Everyone knows that people will continue to listen to you even after you lie. Like, look at, literally, anything the world. There are plenty of liars still getting away with it.
This kid gets it. They read your stupid book, ok? Want a synopsis? Here's your goddamn synopsis. Now cram it, teach. 
Trump Draws is the Twitter Account We Need Right Now It’s been a tumultuous couple of weeks. Hey, it’s always a bit crazy when a new president who spent the last decade or so working as a reality-TV gameshow host comes in and starts signing executive orders that causes global chaos. Happens every four years. But while these executive orders are sure to make most lives worse, either directly or indirectly, now you can imagine Trump isn’t signing them and instead is just making really nice pictures of cats and stuff. The @TrumpDraws Twitter is the spoonful of sugar we need to help the poison go down. Check it out: 
Guy Casually Drops Full Name of Wrong Number Caller, Proceeds to Troll Him to Perfection We throw this one around a lot: 'damn that was one hell of a roller-coaster!' But this, this right here truly was. What we have is a fine example of a devious, skullduggerous troll with an appetite for preying upon 'wrong numbered' strangers, none the wiser; and a mission fucking accomplished. The ending's a definite cliffhanger though: I can't be the only one wondering whether or not random dude with terrible spelling/grammar is going to go check out that imaginary porn shop 'Mike's Mortuary.' There's no way. But then again, the dude did kind of come across as weirdly desperate...and strangely forthcoming about it. 
Watch This Michael Jackson Impersonator Inspire Someone to Try a Backflip and Totally Wreck Themselves Wow. There’s nothing quite like that feeling when inspiration strikes. Sir Isaac Newton felt it when an apple came crashing on to his head, and this dude felt it while watching this Michael Jackson impersonator tear shit up on the dance floor. Except things didn’t really turn out as he expected. Leaping on to the chair in hopes of upstaging this gloved dancer, the man fucks up this backflip and probably his spine. Let’s hope he makes it through this one alive because they carry him off and it definitely seems like he’s dead. 
Sean Spicer Facts Twitter Account Is Your One-Stop Shop For Alternative Facts Have you seen this guy Sean Spicer? He’s that dude that seems like he’s about to start crying every time he has to defend the Trump administration’s poorly thought out schemes. Does Trump need someone to defend crowd size? Send Spicer. Does Trump need someone to explain why he used the word “Ban” in regards to his Muslim Ban? Send Spicer. However, with the limitations of the 24-hour news cycle it’s hard to get all the Sean Spicer we want, nay, need. So someone, thankfully, started the twitter account @SeanSpicerFacts, which is home to dozens of fake and hilarious Alternative Facts. Check out the best ones: 
Lock Your Doors Because This Moose Broke Into a House and Shit In The Basement  It could happen to you. The one night you forget to lock your doors is the night you put your entire family at risk. Intruders can break in and shit in your basement. Those intruder: Moose. How do we stop them: Undetermined.
Take this Idaho family as a blanket statement for an unnecessary fear that the rest of America should base their foreign policy on. If one moose can break into one house, what's to stop another moose from breaking into another house.
via GIPHY According to UPI, "The Idaho Department of Fish and Game said Senior Conservation Officer Alex Head responded Saturday night to a Hailey home where a cow moose was reported to be in the finished basement."
Apparently, the moose broke through a window and trapped itself in the basement. When will this madness end? I mean look at all this shit the moose left:
via Idaho Fish and Game
The moose was eventually set free to bring its reign of terror to the Idaho countryside. The only question now is, when will this western menace strike again. 
|
No comments:
Post a Comment
Keep a civil tongue.