How a Farmer, a Nerd, and the Country of Scotland Trolled Donald Trump Sometimes you hear of a man so annoying, so unpleasant that a whole country decides to troll the shit out of him.
That man: The reality-TV gameshow host Donald Trump, the President of the United States for some reason.
That country: Scotland.
On Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, correspondent Amy Hoggart traveled to Scotland to see how the country made trolling Trump a national pastime.
Tiny Town In Oklahoma Cancels School Dance Because It's Basically The Tiny Town From Footloose Hey, everybody, LET’S DANC— Hold up there, Kevin Bacon, because this is Henryetta, Ok, and we don’t take kindly to dancing within 300 feet of a church. Apparently, a local vintage shop in Henryetta was planning a Valentine’s dance, but thanks to a town ordinance, there’ll be no dance this year. Joni Insabella, the owner for Rosie Lavon’s Market place, a vintage shop and event space that was hosting the even, and her husband, the town attorney, has been “accused of being lawbreakers and encouraging lawbreaking.” Nothing says small town America like “the town attorney" and "no dancing ordinance." The couple plans to fight this thin and has gone on record calling the person who called in the complaint a “party pooper.”
Students on Twitter Thank Their God-Like Superintendent for the Snow Day and It's So Funny What's better than a Snow Day? A super cool superintendent who calls it. Joseph Roy, the Superintendent of the Schools in Bethlehem, Pa, and the 2017 Pennsylvania Superintendent of the Year, made a lot of kids very happy this morning, when he announced school was canceled. To thank him, his students, and the rest of the world, are showing him the proper respect on Twitter. He really is Pennsylvania Superintendent of the Year.
Mystery Canadian Thief Jacks $100K Worth of Blueberries, Hilarious Twitter Reactions Ensue The Great Canadian Blueberry Heist needs to be a movie in my lifetime. That's all there is to it. I will accept nothing less. This is one of those double take-worthy kinds of stories: you see it jump across your social media feed, doubt everything about it, and proceed to have your world rocked as you develop a strange craving for Blueberry Pie. Yo, for real though. It's got everything I could want in a slice of crime: the big getaway, the ridiculousness of $100K of blueberries being stolen, and the fact that it's a tale of thievery with Canadian roots.
The Cops Of Reddit Are Confessing to the Stupidest Calls They've Ever Responded To Policing, it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. But with all the stupid people out there, have you ever wondered why they aren't getting called for dumb shit all the time? Well, it turns out, they are! The police officers of Reddit are sharing the stupidest calls they've ever responded to, and, man, they are as advertised.
14 People Share Their Trials of Treadmill Humiliation on Twitter My joints ache just reading these painful displays of public humiliation. This is why being a couch potato pays off. Give me the sweet, soft pillowy confines of a couch perfectly molded to my lazy ass, with a jumbo bag of chips and bottomless bowl of queso any day of the week.
CNN's Jake Tapper Is Airing His Dirty Laundry All Over Twitter and It's Hilarious When you think of America's bad boy, only one name comes to mind: CNN Anchor Jake Tapper. With his cool demeanor and slicked back hair, it's no wonder that people don't cower in fear when ever he appears on their TVs. Taking the nation's best interests in mind, "GOP operatives," allegedly, are looking into Tapper to destroy him after his infamous grilling of Kellyanne Conway, according to a report from Axios. So the nation's foremost authority on "being as bad as I wanna be" is beating them to the bunch. Jake Tapper is opening the dirt file and throwing it all over Twitter. Check it out:
People Theorize What It Would Be Like If Dr. Seuss Wrote Erotic Novels and Now Our Childhoods are Ruined The internet has always done a fantastic job of destroying the things we hold dear. The very existence of rule 34 has left me with little in my life that has not been utterly ruined. Well, along comes this Ask Reddit thread to destroy dear old Dr. Seuss. Although, some of these don't quite fit into the classic Dr. Seuss pattern there are some truly amazing (terrible?) erotic poets lurking around. I promise you, after reading these you'll never again be able to read Dr. Seuss without dirty rhymes floating through your head.
KFC Sees Your Fried Chicken Tortilla, Taco Bell, and Raises You a Fried Chicken Pizza Crust Say what you will about Col. Sanders, but he knows how to get the most out of his fried chicken. I'd say he was a war criminal for this one, though. KFC's "Chizza," as they're calling it, is a pizza made with sauce, "chicken ham," pineapple, mozzarella cheese, and KFC "cheese sauce" on a fried chicken crust. Every component of this thing except the sauce seems like complete insanity. Also, did I mention that it's served on a fried chicken crust. Right now, it's only available internationally — probably because this kind of thing might be illegal in America, but if you're in Singapore, you can check it out. Don't be a chicken. Try it.
Oh, Hell Yeah: Check Out This Dude Do a 100-Foot Dirt Bike Jump onto the Hood of Jeep This is some serious John Woo shit.
This dude was ripping shit on the sand dunes of Qatar. You know, crankin' some hot wheelies and sick jumps over hundreds of feet of sand. And in the middle of one of his launches, the dirt biker's back tire hit a moving Jeep Wrangler because oh, hell yeah, that rocks.
He was ok, but the Wrangler had a bit of road rash. If you're smart, though, you wouldn't fix the hood becuase it looks so dope.
Here Are a Bunch of Memorable Pop Culture Moments You Are Misremembering You probably say things "Welcome to Earf" and "Cowbunga, dude" all the live-long day. But it turns out, you're wrong, dumbass. And as usual, the wiseguys over at Cracked are here to correct you because you suffer from the Mandela Effect. you know like when you thought Sinbad was in that genie movie "Shazzam," which never existed.
This Alex Jones-DuckTales Mashup Is Like Diving Into a Pool of Golden Chemtrails What's better than conspiracy theories? That's right, DuckTales.
The wacky Saturday-morning adventures of Huey, Dewey, Louie, their Uncle Scrooge, and, of course, Launchpad McQuack could only be made better by the non-sensical ravings of professional garbage spewer Alex Jones. So this genius Twitter user answered the call of millions and stuck Jones ranting about "chemtrails" and "gay bombs," and, Jesus, is it great.
This video makes me feel like I'm diving into a pool of gold coins.
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