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2020/08/24

Weatherman Goes Too Hard and more...

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We have no idea what Charlie was thinking. He completely committed to a strikingly dumb and insensitive couple jokes. The silence that followed made complete sense.
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Weatherman Goes Too Hard and more...



Weatherman Goes Too Hard
 

We have no idea what Charlie was thinking. He completely committed to a strikingly dumb and insensitive couple jokes. The silence that followed made complete sense. 

Submitted by: (via travis rux)

       
 

Polycarbonate Glass Foils Robbery Attempt
 

They should've made the store windows out of the same stuff. 

Submitted by: (via Heroic R6)

       
 

Life Pro Tips That Could Come In Handy

It'd be nice if we were all given instruction manuals on how to life most efficiently, but we're not that lucky. Instead, we learn through experience and those good old fails. The following collection of life pro tips could help you avoid unwanted circumstances, without having to learn too late. If these life pro tips got you going, we might recommend checking out some intentionally bad life pro tips for the existential crisis that we don't advise actually trying.

1.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/Likewhatthefrack • 10h LPT if you're looking for sports sunglasses try looking at safety glasses. You can get shaded, polarised, impact resistant glasses with full UV protection designed to be worn all day at a fraction of a price of a 'sports' brand. Miscellaneous Safety glasses are normally certified to recognised international standards and give you good field of view. Designs are also pretty modern.

2.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/copnonymous • 14h LPT: If you are concerned about something nearby your house, like a tree, falling and damaging your house DO NOT call the insurance company about it. Miscellaneous Recently, my family was concerned about a dead tree in our yard that seemed like it was about to fall on our house in the next big wind storm. Naturally, my father called our homeowners insurance. He inquired if they'd pay for a tree removal company to come by take it down before it caus

3.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/FloridaMan32225 • 8h LPT - sort out all automated emails by adding a filter to your inbox using the word "unsubscribe." Have them sent to a folder of your choosing and watch your inbox clear up quickly. Also try phrases like "opt out" or "donotreply" to continue eliminating volume. Productivity Not my idea but wow it's been helpful. I recommend putting them all marked as "read" and into a single folder, which you then still check periodically. I'm sure there are bet

4.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/RockleyBob • 17d + Join LPT: Roast yo' broccoli. Broccoli is a cheap, ubiquitous vegetable that too often is steamed or boiled to death, sapping nutrients and flavor. Toss with olive oil and salt and roast at 400. Food & Drink Edit: A lot of people are asking about cooking time. I didn't include that because it's very subjective. I like the florets browned and the stems crunchy. 15 minutes at 400 degrees is a good guess for that, but if you like softer veggies and less bro

5.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/moseph999 · 8d LPT: when someone asks you what you want to do, if you don't care then say "doesn't matter to me l'm just here to hang out with you" instead of "I don't care" Social There's a huge difference between the disinterest of "I dont care" and expressing to someone that as long as they're a part of it, you're down for anything

6.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/bubble_chart • 19d LPT: If your friend or coworker tells you they got a new job, ask them the start date and put it in your calendar so you can text them a good luck / happy first day message Social I know l'd feel nice receiving this, so l've been doing it for the past few years. I have a terrible memory so I put an event on my calendar so I can remember to text them that morning.

7.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/jutepod • 9d LPT When someone shares something about themselves, don't interrupt with a relatable story about yourself. Just listen. Social

8.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/dogdrinkincoffee • 7d LPT: Before purchasing anything on Amazon, use fakespot.com to have their engine analyze fake or counterfeit reviews. Miscellaneous I was watching Pleasant Green's youtube video Can You Really Get Paid to do Amazon Reviews? and noticed he used Fakespot.com to check for fake or counterfeit reviews. In addition, the website gives the seller a grade (A-F) and their Fakespot Adjusted Rating (0-5 stars). Their overview includes how many reviews were

9.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/super_corndog • 5d Join LPT: Allow people the freedom to change. If someone decides to modify their beliefs or behaviors in a positive way, refrain from pointing out their inconsistencies, being sarcastic, joking, or otherwise commenting. Social If someone changes their mind and behaviors over time, it's more likely a sign of correcting errors in premature decision-making or undoing bad habits. As life goes on, people gain more experience, perspective, and information to m

10.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/pineapples4lyfe • 4d LPT: If you find yourself in the ER (US) you can negotiate your bill. Never pay the full bill. I'm on a trip with three doctors right now and they're ranting about US ER procedures and prices. Apparently, ERs rarely receive payment. This means that you can call the hospital when you receive the bill and negotiate it down to a much lower price. For instance, my gf negotiated her ex's bill from the ER from $10,000 to $4,000 by guaranteeing payment

11.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/FlaminGummy • 2d LPT: If you are a student and are moving into a new leased house, take a picture of every wall, closet, cupboard and furniture. Home & Garden This way, if the house owner/landlord is trying to take your deposit or claiming damage at the end of your lease, you can show him the pictures. Take a picture, even of the FLOOR. Make sure the date and time are stamped on the pictures as well. This can be best done by emailing the videos/photos to yourself. E

12.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/jk72788 • 26d + Join LPT - touch your puppy's teeth and paws as much as possible early on, so they're comfortable when it's time to start brushing their teeth and trimming their nails

13.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/Onyxpurr • 4d + Join LPT: If you want to see if someone you care about is awake, gently say "I love you" instead of "Are you still awake?" Miscellaneous My son has always hated falling asleep. I would sit with him and like every frustrated parent, when I would get up from my chair, he would reach out and say "Where are you going mom? Stay here." So instead of saying "Are you awake?" before getting up (which invariably always wakes someone up it seems); I started saying "I

14.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/C_L_O_D • 19d + Join LPT: If you see a shockwave, turn away, cover your ears, and open your mouth Miscellaneous "I have tinnitus and it is high pitched synthesiser and it's all the time. The rest of my life. I am a former 0311 marine (infantry). Open your mouth if you see a shockwave and cover your ears. Also turn away" – u/ toolfan73 Comment about the explosion that happened on Beirut, Lebanon. Stay safe everyone! More LPTS from the comments: "And step away from the windo

15.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/Robinothoodie • 10d LPT: Don't ask a married couple when they are going to have kids. They might not be able to and you'll ruin their day bringing up sad thoughts. Social 1 1 9 1 1 10 52.1k 2.8k 1 Share Y BEST COMMENTS ♥ keepthetips • 10d 1 Award Hello and welcome to O r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you t

16.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/Phishylicious • 20d + Join LPT: if you're taking care of children, always make bed time special and safe, always Miscellaneous Doesn't matter what happened that day or who you/ they are, treat bed time like a separate universe where nothing even remotely bad or negative exists or happened, especially if you're not the best with kids. Dump everything you have into bed time, stories, I love yous, tuck ins, everything and don't let any negativity from you, them, videogames, o

17.

Text - LPT: If you are arrested remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you while nothing you say can and will be used for you. Zero benefit to speaking. Once you start blabbing the cops will write down things you say. Even one slip up or misspoken word can now be used as testimony against you. Innocent people go to jail all the time because of misspoken statements. Prosecutors can and will ignore all the stuff you say that doesn't help them prosecute you. They can and will

18.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/1gnik • 18d LPT: When you're constantly hitting backspace to delete the mistake you made letter by letter, you can hold CTRL and hit backspace to delete word by word instead. Computers

19.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/otter6461a • 30d + Join LPT: If your dog doesn't come when called, don't keep calling it. You're only training it to ignore you Animals & Pets If your dog doesn't come when called, and you keep calling it while it ignores you, you are LITERALLY teaching it to ignore you when you call it. If you call and they don't come, it's rough, but you gotta stop calling. Then later, at home, work on your recall with the dog, with treats. I learned this from a dog trainer I was dating.

20.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/Sarchasm-Spelunker • 24d + Join LPT If a place is "always hiring" there is a reason why and it has to do with a very high turnover rate. Careers & Work That said, places that are hard to get into are generally better. For instance, I once looked into getting a job as a local firefighter. The fire chief shook his head and said, "No one ever quits. The pay is good, the benefits are great and the pension is even better. The only way anyone ever leaves is if they are fired, re

21.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/tysmily • 2d LPT: Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from. Miscellaneous

22.

Text - r/LifeProTips u/ExNihiloAdInfinitum • 24d + Join LPT: Just because someone is a dentist, lawyer, veterinarian, therapist or whatever other type of professional, doesn't make them competent, kind or ethical (beyond the basics to get and keep the job). If you find yourself upset with the one you chose, it's okay to look for a better one. Miscellaneous

23.

Text - r/LifeProTips + Join u/KissAndControlx • 21d LPT: For an Aspirin to save your life during a heart attack, it's important you chew it rather than swallow. Miscellaneous Chewing delivers the effects fastest through blood vessels in your mouth, rather than the digestive process which is slow. But don't use an enteric-coated tab, which will work slowly even if chewed.

24.

Text - LPT: If your laptop has an USB port with a lightning symbol next to it , you can use it to charge your phone or accessories without switching the laptop on . Computers If the symbol is there but it doesn't work, check your BIOS, you'll have an option to enable usb power delivery . Edit : You can enter the BIOS only during startup (before you see the windows icon) by pressing a key specific to your system manufacturer. It's usually one amongst the function keys or DEL key in some cases . Y

25.

Text - r/LifeProTips Join u/prettylittleredditty • 12d LPT: If you personally know someone you admire, who you wish you were more like, don't just focus on the things they do; look at the things they don't do. Productivity I dunno, I just had a wee breakthrough and I feel much happier and positive about changes l'm trying to make happen, they're not challenges anymore, they're positive losses edit: cheers for the great chats in the comments, decent round table with heaps of good advice <3

Submitted by:

       
 

Stealing Roommate Gets Clothes Dyed for Free

The only good thing about having a roommate that steals your stuff is that if you tamper with your own stuff, they're in no position to complain about your stuff that they deny taking. This is a pretty common tactic. A similar and more explosive thing happened when this food thief's roommate switched to regular milk.

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Cheezburger Image 9539096320

2.

Text - I finally snapped when I wanted to wash my clothes but only found an empty box that used to contain my washing powder. I don't buy fancy or expensive stuff and I don't care about brands. After using the last of my powder a week earlier she could literally have bought the cheapest no-brand powder in the world and I would have been fine. I just snapped. I had told her over and over to not use my washing powder if she wasn't going to replace it and I just had enough. I bought a new box of wa

3.

Text - A week later I came home from work and saw her laundry hanging outside, all with a mysterious pink color. She stomped up to me and demanded to know what I had done. I told her I was going to dye my own clothes and someone had told me the shade would be lighter if I mixed it with powder (lie), then asked her why she had used it when it had clearly been in a box with my name on it when I had told her not to use it because she never replaced it? I don't think she believed me but she finally

4.

Text - spiggerish 6.3k points · 5 days ago I had a flatmate that quite a few times took everyone's laundry off of the clothes drying rack and would dump it in a pile just so he could hang up his own. After the third time of coming home to a pile of wet laundry that smelled damp I had had enough. He didn't know that the rack belonged to me and I was being kind to allow everyone in the apartment to use it. So I sold it. My office building had a laundromat and I had a locker anyways. Was fun when h

5.

Text - wezlsquez 983 points · 5 days ago My mom put cornmeal in a box of detergent for the same reason. We lived in a trailer park and later that day, one of the neighbors was bitching a blue streak because someone "ruined" her clothes. They don't realize who the bad quy is in this story.

Submitted by:

       
 

Genius Solutions To Everyday Problems

Life only runs smoothly for so long before we encounter a nice curveball to throw us off our game. From there, it's up to us to not give into blind rage or panic, and instead troubleshoot that dang hiccup with calm and a little brainpower. These folks certainly implemented some clever solutions in the face of irritating problems. Check out some more life pro trips to get a leg up on life over here.

1.

Input device - ZoTes 2.4G Model: F-14 D SN F14576910928 Voltage/Current :3V/15MA Manufacturer master electronic technology co. LTD petant DURACELL RECHARGEABLE MAISE EN CARnge p nne

2.

Spoon - SyncMaster 124B350 Q-Search (Ctri+1)

3.

Toy

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Hair - ANG

5.

Plant - gsto.

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Land vehicle

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Electronics - Caps Lock Shift Al Ctrl En with lack ura Desie A Hom A Soue w samsungcomput 1. 31

8.

Tile - aturd

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People

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Balloon - 00

11.

Product - PAOFIC BLD

Submitted by:

       
 

Guy's Roommate Enforces Weird Rules, He Moves Out Mid-Lease

This guy asked folks on Reddit whether or not he was in the wrong for stranding his roommate with full rent, because he simply couldn't take any more of his roommate's strange rules. The gist of it is that his roommate's girlfriend moved in with them. Said girlfriend seems to have suffered some kind of trauma in the past, and can't stand being caught alone with the guy when her boyfriend isn't around. Considering the uniquely tough time that we're all living through, and how many folks are forced to be at home most of the time, this created quite the conundrum. So, most folks agreed the guy really didn't do anything wrong. 

1.

Text - AITA for moving out mid-lease and stranding my roommate with full rent after his girlfriend keeps accusing me of being "creepy"? So l've been living with my current roommate for 2 years now. I'm actually subletting and l'm on my 2nd year which is month-to-month, but we've had an unofficial "verbal" agreement that I'd stay until the end of the year. I mean it's a pandemic, I didn't think I'd move either. Anyways his gf moved in beginning of this year. It's been...a lot. She's obviously had

2.

Text - Well when she first moved in my roommate had some "ground rules" for me so his gf would be more comfortable. She obviously wasn't thrilled about having another roommate. He said I couldn't talk to her (like strike up a convo) if he wasn't there because she doesn't want to have to talk to me if she didn't have to. He also said it would be best if we tried to not use the same facilities at the same time (like if she's cooking in the kitchen, I should wait until she leaves before I grab food

3.

Text - Things got worse in recent months cause we've all been working from home. It's REALLY hard to avoid someone 24/7. So obviously l've slipped up more. One time I came home from Costco and offered her a spare bottle of coconut water I couldn't fit in the fridge. Big mistake. My roommate had to have a "talk" with me that night about how I should know she would never drink my drinks and it's weird for me to even offer. The most recent one was when she was watching some GoT in our living room.

4.

Text - Long story short, my friend just had a place open up that's cheap and I'm gonna move. I told my roommate and he's pissed, because of our unofficial agreement and how he's probably gonna pay full rent for a while. I feel bad because yeah, I did say I wasn't gonna move. But I'm also pretty sick of both him and his gf. However, I feel kind of guilty because I agreed to their weird rules before all this started back when I thought it'd be ok. 23.2k 2.0k 1 Share

5.

Text - DormantDormaus • 11h NTA. He made the place super uncomfortable for you. Is it weird that I want to hear more about this bizarre situation though? Reply 5.1k ...

6.

Text - aliquilts71 • 11h • Asshole Enthusiast [3] 1 Award NTA. You agreed to stay there BEFORE you started getting treated like a would be criminal in your own home. It's ridiculous to expect you to live like that. If your roommates girlfriend can't live with other people in her living space, she shouldn't have moved in. Reply 3.0k ...

7.

Text - pukui7 • 11h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] NTA Move out and don't look back. If you are such a creep, they should be overjoyed to see you leaving anyway. Reply 1.9k ...

8.

Text - Storkey01 • 11h NTA - That's an insane way to have to live. Get out ASAP Reply 27.8k ...

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Text - SimonSpooner • 11h • Partassipant [1] NTA. If you leave there are still 2 people in the flat. Why is the gf not paying rent? Besides that, these were ridiculous rules. If she can't get over her past trauma it's not your responsibility to cope with her to the point you can't offer coconut water. Must be hard for her but she is TA. Reply 9.2k ...

10.

Text - SlytherClaw3 • 11h • Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA. Move out. However, I feel kind of guilty because I agreed to their weird rules before all this started back when I thought it'd be ok. Exactly. When you thought it would be OK. This is a bit much. Obviously we don't know what trauma she's gone through, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with being treated like that at your own place. That's your home too. If you're not comfortable with how you're being treated - which, frankly, noone

11.

Text - Raoul_Duke_Nukem • 11h NTA Your roommate's girlfriend sounds weird and incapable of normal human interaction. How do you live in the same house as someone without striking up an occasional conversation once in a while or running into each other in common areas? That would be very uncomfortable. It sounds like your roommate is enabling her weird behaviour instead of explaining to her that it's just not how human beings act in a society. Get out of there. Reply 1 1.2k ...

12.

Text - WoodlandOfWeir • 11h • Partassipant [4] NTA by all means. However, out of curiosity, how did the girlfriend react when you offered her a drink or stood behind her in the living room? Are you sure that this ridiculousness is coming from her and he isn't just insanely controlling and inventing stuff? Reply 477

13.

Text - dr197 • 11h NTA. The place was your home just as much as it was theirs. From what you have said you seemed to have been nothing but nice and willing to put up with them. I understand she went through traumatic experiences but if she's going to act like this she needs to see a therapist before she moves in with anyone. Reply 251 ...

14.

Text - username20242024 • 10h NTA. 1. She shouldn't have moved in with him knowing he has a roommate if she didn't want a roommate and expected to be treated like a princess especially since you didn't mention anything about her paying rent. 2. The "ground rules" are creepy. You shouldn't have been ok with that because you pay rent, it's ur place too. 3. Moving out was the right decision because she could have accused you of something a lot more serious than being creepy just to get you to leave

15.

Text - Lizbot7 • 11h • Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA. It's a pandemic, you didn't know you'd be stuck at home constantly and honestly it sounds like you've spent the last several months walking on eggshells in your own home. He has created a situation that makes it hard for you to keep living with him, this isn't your fault. Reply 1 49 ...

16.

Text - lisab2266 • 11h • Partassipant [3] NTA. You have every right to leave. He changed the terms of your lease by moving her in and creating a bunch of rules that limited your use of the apartment and made it extremely difficult and stressful to live in. He will have trouble finding a new roommate who would want to live like this. Also, with his GF there, he should have no issue paying the rent. She can pay for her use of the apartment. Reply 26 ...

17.

Text - wotsname123 • 11h NTA. They are strongly implying you are untrustworthy and a sexual predator. I'm amazed you have stuck it as long as you have. Reply 46

18.

Text - fuzzy_mic • 11h • Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA - You are on a month to month lease. Typically, 30 notice means you're there and pay rent through Sep 30. NTA if that's what happens. Reply 50 ...

19.

Text - noshi191 • 10h NTA. Its beyond me that you would agree to live like that. Its like having a restraining order against you but in your own home. And your roommate is shitty to even think of making you do these things. In your own home. That you also pay for. Reply 10 ...

20.

Text - awill237 • 10h NTA You know how you become more comfortable with the people you live with and stop being terrified of their every move? You interact with them. It's been over six months and she's living in fear of normal roommate behavior because of the ridiculous accommodations you've been asked to make. Your moving out is justified, overdue, and better for all of you if you're the only one who's been asked to change. Go and enjoy freedom of movement in your new home. Reply 10 + ...

21.

Text - Zahra0121 • 9h NTA. I assume the arrangements have changed since you verbally agreed to stay until the end of the year and this is a consequence of him changing your agreement. Also, is his girlfriend paying rent? Call me petty, but i would hate to be paying 1/2 rent when there's 3 people living there. Reply ...

22.

Text - Medievalmoomin • 9h NTA I'm so sorry. It sounds like you can't win, you can't relax and live in your own home, and that's not fair on you. I have had experiences with grown adults refusing to talk to me, like eight-year-olds, and it's been horrible, but I didn't live with them 24/7. Please do move out. It's a reasonable consequence of some very questionable house rules, that all seem designed to cast you as 'the one who is in the wrong.' I'm sorry you face moving out during the pandemic a

23.

Text - laim2msbehave • 9h NTA - They asked too much of you and you were there before her, if anyone should have to adjust, it's her. The GF's expectations are beyond ridiculous and if she is that fragile then she should be at her own place where she feels safe or with her family. Don't come @ me about being too harsh either because I've lived through much worse and have to manage myself and my CPTSD every single day and still function in society as many others just like me also do. Part of devel

24.

Text - Thundering Tacos • 8h NTA It's been 8 months Like, I sympathize with her having serious trauma, I really do. That feeling of personal violation isn't something that just goes away And I can understand there being an adjustment period to get used to each other But at a certain point you'd think everyone could at least get along casually, see you less as a stranger and more as a roommate (who's going out of his way to respect their personal space), and acknowledge that you're being treated

Submitted by:

       
 

Dumb Junk People Believed as Kids

If you're new on the planet, it's extremely easy to mishear something once and have an extremely skewed idea of the world for a few years. Kids are dumb and weird, but usually the grow up into less dumb adults. Sometimes they don't, and people end of hearing the dumbest things ever.

1.

Text - squeakypower 253 points · 2 days ago That since Denver was called the mile high city and airplanes flew a mile up in the air, that the airplane would just land in Denver up in the sky or could run into Denver if they weren't careful

2.

Text - Hysterymystery 17.0k points · 2 days ago 2 2 e2 & 2 More I was just thinking about this today actually. I don't know what reminded me but I'm even a little embarrassed today at how dumb I was. When I was like 7 or 8 I was on a competitive swim team. I was pretty bad at it. I got a lot of participation ribbons, I'll put it that way. One dayI dove in the water and thought "I should try swimming fast today!" So I did and when I poked my head out of the water my coach was standing there looki

3.

Text - juicehouse 15.1k points · 2 days ago i That drinking and driving meant any kind of drinking. WouldLoveToTalk 5.1k points · 2 days ago I would get so nervous when my dad and I would get fast food that a cop would see him drinking his soda and arrest him.

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Text - likahduhthehoni 13.9k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago An island was a giant piece of land floating in the осean

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Text - rceg 10.5k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago I thought my TV was too small to see adults in shows like Tom and Jerry and the Powerpuff girls.

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Text - MiJohan 7.1k points · 2 days ago I had a friend tell me about her sister's birth. She said "her butt was shaved" and for the longest time I thought babies were born with very hairy butts. I didn't realized her mom probably had to be shaved until I was older. I also thought parents had to have sex regularly during a pregnancy to keep the baby fertilized or it would die. I grew up Catholic - we did not speak of The Sex.

7.

Text - Master-Weather-9898 6.9k points · 2 days ago Being fired at work meant you were actually incinerated

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Text - Pgwdgn 6.6k points · 2 days ago I thought Barbara Bush was Eve from the Bible. The news said she was the first lady, and I didn't know what else that could mean. And she did look pretty old from my perspective.

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Text - thinknu 6.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago When I was a little kid and my parents were driving I would see the car in front of us have these rear blinking lights and generally speaking, they always lit up pointing in the direction our car would be turning. How did it always know? I didn't understand what they were for so I thought they were there to give instructions on where to go to the car behind it (us). After all how did my dad always know which road to take get to McDonalds

10.

Text - seesnawsnappy 5.8k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Escalators would consume me if I didn't step off fast enough

11.

Text - QuarantineTitans 5.6k points · 2 days ago I went to a Catholic elementary school. I was giving a presentation in front of my second grade class regarding how God created the heavens, the earth, the mountains...I never really understood how the timeline worked around all that, I just knew the basic bullet points of the creation story. But then I go on some tangent about how upon the creation of Earth (remember, I didn't understand the timing around it and just winged it), God must have bee

12.

Text - LateEstimate6 4.3k points · 2 days ago My brother is quite a few years older than me and liked to tell me little fibs all the time. Some of the more memorable ones include him telling me that our uncle invented hamburgers, and that lemonade has a little bit of pig pee in it.

13.

Text - thats-my-plan 4.2k points · 2 days ago My parents used to say they worked to make money, so I thought their job was actually printing money.

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Text - Porcelain_Peony 3.8k points · 2 days ago That I was the only one in the world with actual thoughts and feelings and everyone else was just part of my reality.

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Text - kelsi_rain 2.8k points · 2 days ago 9 The moon was following me...

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Text - GeezItsJesus 2.7k points · 2 days ago I thought the term "wind chill factor" was "windshield factor." Like the weatherman was letting you know if you needed to scrape your windshield in the morning.

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Text - FluffyTeddid 2.5k points · 2 days ago I used to think germaphobes were just people scared of Germans or Germany

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Text - KeyserUnderwood 2.4k points · 2 days ago When I was like 4 or 5, I used to think that when a toy commercial said “batteries not included", it meant batteries not required. I'd often use it as a selling point to convince my mom to but it for me, "Mom! It even says batteries not included!"

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Text - Imadvanced 2.4k points · 2 days ago That people would come in the night and cut off any appendages not covered by blankets. I conveniently convinced myself heads didn't count (because that would be too gross).

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Text - UwUthanizeMeDaddy 2.4k points · 2 days ago To microwave something you had to put in a code that corresponded with the time. I was really confused when I found out you just entered the time.

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Text - UWYO-Agent-7 2.3k points · 2 days ago That when I turned 10, I would be able to see Pokémon in the world. My tenth birthday was a little disappointing

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Text - retropomme 1.7k points · 2 days ago i was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding humans were monkeys in the very beginning. i got into a huge argument with a classmate because i was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother's womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.

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Text - cheesiestcake17 1.7k points · 2 days ago I didn't know turn signals were manual, I thought the car just knew where we were going.

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Text - Poorly-Drawn-Beagle 1.7k points · 2 days ago After 9/11 I thought we were going to have to invite al-Qaeda over to America for the fight, and they were going to invite us over there to fight, and all the civilians would have to hide in basements while the fighting went on.

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Text - EliasDontHurtEm 1.5k points · 2 days ago I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets. I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste. Like, I honestly just thought vegans were assholes who hated Easter.

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Text - Barry_Boots 1.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Erasers, made of rubber, rubber comes from trees. roots=rubber. Pencil lead (graphite) can be converted to diamonds. under intense heat and pressure. Because of this I assumed you would never find diamonds in the dirt near trees because the roots rubber would have erased them.

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Text - ResponsibleState4 786 points · 2 days ago I thought salt and pepper cancelled each other out. That is, if you over salted something, adding pepper would return it to normal.

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Text - ManaToast 648 points · 2 days ago For a few seconds after you spit you can taste what it lands on.

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Text - sunobee 624 points · 2 days ago That Feliz Navidad was a Hanukkah song.

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Text - jmglor 612 points · 2 days ago I thought a salad bar was like a candy bar. Like all of the ingredients of a salad smashed into a bar that you held in your hand and ate.

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Text - bobhwantstoknow 374 points · 2 days ago I thought that if we had a larger TV I would be able to see more of the scene, but I also understood that if I saw more I would see the edge of the set, light rigging, etc.

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Text - kalooboo 366 points · 2 days ago I didn't know the difference between pedestrian and Presbyterian so I thought you had to go to a different church if you didn't have a car.

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Text - krizkat 352 points · 2 days ago I thought up until like 3rd grade that we were only learning about one side of the earth and we'd learn about the other half in later grades. I didn't make the connection between the big flat roller map my teacher would pull down across the chalkboard and the round earth everyone kept talking about.

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Text - Captain_Coco_Koala 296 points · 2 days ago I thought that a local anesthetic was one made on the premise (hence the name 'local') and it wasn't until I was nearly 20 when I found out the truth. I honestly thought that all hospitals had basements where they made some of the anesthetics.

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Facepalm Moments of Mystifying Dumbness

Every day of our lives we makes mistakes, but luckily most of us know better than to hit ourselves with facepalm moments from the dimmest bulbs. If there were ever an opportunity to feel smart about your own life decisions, it would be while reviewing the monumentally dumb facepalm moments some other people manage to find themselves in.

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Dude Messes Up By Eating Too Many Oranges

This guy's quick tale of the time that he ate too many oranges and got sick might make you feel better about your biggest brain farts. The poor guy thought he'd gotten sick, and was reasonably concerned about getting the rest of his family sick, only to realize that he'd been unknowingly inhaling mold spores. 

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Text - r/tifu + Join u/wadlwadlus • 1d TIFU by eating too many oranges So this happened a few months back, but it's a funny story nonetheless that needs to be on the internet. I was living in my grandparents basement at the time in a 5 story house. Walking up the stairs to get to the kitchen was a hassle, so I only did it when it was time to eat. Now l'm not an out of shape person, but I'm not enthusiastic about going up flights of stairs just to look at a pantry scarcely filled with old people

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Text - Now my grandfather had an office on one of the lower levels, and he loved his beer, so he had a mini fridge in the basement where he'd store it. In that fridge he'd also store these delicious, juicy, and always ripe oranges. The perfect, healthy snack that I'd over indulge in when I partook in unhealthier weed habits. Anyways, when I say over indulge, I mean over indulge. I must have ate 3 in a single sitting, every day. And l'd go peel them on the couch next to my bed while l watched tv.

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Text - Now a few weeks have passed, and I start to get sick. But not a normal flu like sickness, but a watery itchy eye, sore throat, hard to breathe type sickness. I had no idea what was going on and I was just thinking it could be a weird cold. So I tried to rest it off. A few days pass and I'm still dealing with this sickness and I start to worry. My eyes are always watery and itchy, my breathing isn't optimal, and it is past the point of annoyance and I'm in a full blown panic. I stayed in t

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Text - So I feel defeated, that is, until I start pacing around my room and see it. I see it clear as day. My orange peels have molded in the box, still sitting on the couch right next to my bed. I had been breathing in orange mold spores for about a week unknowingly, causing my symptoms. After throwing them away properly, everything went back to normal and luckily no lasting damage happened to my body. TLDR: I didn't discard my orange peels properly and unknowingly ended up breathing in mold sp

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Tagged: orange , FAIL , mold , sickness , ridiculous , tifu , food
       
 

Frustratingly Entitled People and Their Demanding Behavior

When it comes to selling an item, selling some art, or finding a gig, it can be a minefield of entitled people with unrealistic expectations and insane demands. You could get someone who wants you to pay them to take your iPhone, a mom who wants to pay 3 dollars an hour for babysitting, or have someone blow up for not getting a free pin. The flow of entitled people and their foolish demands never seems to stop.

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Text - 12:29 ao 60% Need in my life! "I would greatly appreciate any one of the items on my wishlist More Search this list Filter & Sort v 26 Nikon 0780 DSLR CameralBody tem added August 12, 2020 Only) with Nikon AF-S NIkkor 24-70mm f/2.8G ED Lens & 10pe Accessory Bundle: Bundle Includes - SanDisk Extreme Pro Buying this gift elsewhere? 128G8 SOXC Memory Card, 2 Seller Replacement Batteries, ® 86 km away Add to Cart About me: Likes sarcasm and and Much More CONS4,599.95 & FREE Shippi. 2 Used & N

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Text - l Verizon 5:49 PM O 10% 3 Car vent phone mount Marketplace $5 - Car vent phone mount Mark as Sold More Options Ahmad changed the group photo. Is this still available? Yes 5:44 PM bucks No thanks 3 I'm not into bargaining, sorry Ok, you know what in Amazon brand new is 4,50. Great. Go buy it there. Haha ok, sorryI was just kidding. Aa

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Text - ... shared his first post. 21m Hello, I am looking for a Camera Assistant who owns Black Magic G2 camera and following accessories for my short film, Mad How Life Works, We are filming on the 10th and 11th of October Blackmagic Ursa Mini Pro 4.6K G2 with following items: Main cam G2 body with vlock plate Viewfinder Rig & Accessories Side plate 2x cold shoe mount Top handle Shoulder mount Ursa mini hand controller Second handle 13mm rods Power AC power 2x vlock batteries Vlock fast charger

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Text - Hey there, I found your profile online and you may be just what I'm looking for. My daughter turning 11 on the 31st of August. We are having a sleepover in the garden for 7 girls organised by is who are providing a tepee and theming the party. We are shooting a video for socials and have a photographer attending too. We are providing all companies involved with Tags in our social posts (which will get plenty of coverage) and professional photos from the event. Thing is we haven't got a ca

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Text - 2:48 70 Today 2:33 PM I need my hair done. I need in tomorrow. I'm sorry, I actually don't have any openings until the week after next!! I might have a spot next week if it opens up but as for right now I don't have anything! What about Sep 1st @ 10? My roots look awful I can't wait that long I need in tmrw I can come late if I need to I really can't, I already work pretty late as it is, I'm sorry! If I could get you in tmrw I would but I'm already booked back to back! 0 You don't care ab

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Text - 2:49 70 L Can I come tomorrow at 7? I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't do tomorrow! I would be happy to put you on a cancellation list, just in case, but I don't have an opening until sep 1st! Would you like to book that appointment? No I need to come in tomorrow maybe early Saturday morning I have an event this weekend. I have lots of friends and I wud hate to have to tell them I can no longer recommend you because you can never get me in Look, I have enjoyed having you in my chair, but

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Text - YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK LODGES Experience Xanterra We strive to do everything possible to make your stay enjoyable. If for any reason this room or cabin needs the attention of our Maintenance or Housekeeping departments we'd like to know, so we can work towards correcting it. Please complete this form and leave it in the room. For issues requiring more immediate attention, please contact the Front Desk and report the issue. Thank you for your time. Location Room/Cabin # Date Time Concer

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Face - Do you draw arts for Free What size? You mean as a hobbie? A4 size Do you do it for Free 07 August, 4:02 pm Will do art for free So you want an a4 drawing in graphite pencil of that photo? Sometimes Are you asking for a free drawing? Have you finished drawing 09 August, 12:42 pm Amm Yes I deserve this What of? 07 August, 10:05 am This one in pencil drawing

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Text - I'm going to report your ass 320 today canu do that ? For what? To who? AUG 22, 4:15 PM For not lowering the price Does it comes with any games dumb ass U have made my morning my guy Like I said u a pussy fuck on my dm 9:41 AM Can't do 320 I'm Ur mom not ur guy And it's brand new no games Will your shit out of luck U want a dick pic ? Broke ass Hello Aa Entertain me 300 Aa

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Text - (SOLD) Sectional couch Message FREE free sectional couch. it's in fair condition. Just been sitting in storage and need gone. Will have pictures soon. Message me if interested. Is the price negotiable? 01 20h Like Reply T'll give you $10 to take it 2m Like Reply Best I can do is you give me $20 and I'll take the couch. And you have to deliver it. I'm 5 hours away so let me know what day is good for you as long as that day is Friday at 5pm.

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Land vehicle - Pic for Attention. Looking to buy a car that needs no work if possible for 2500$. Looking for a BMW Mercedes Benz Porsche if it's an SUV 2021 Dodge Charger $2,500 Pic for Attention. Looking to buy a car that needs no work if possible for 2500$. Looking for a BMW Mercedes Benz Porsche if it's an SUV DODGE CHRRGEN 10

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Text - Housing NYC 25 mins O Hi! I'm hoping to find 1 roommate that is never home or a studio apartment if I'm lucky. I prefer to be alone. I prefer Manhattan. I have 1 cat. Not looking to pay more than 900 a month, wifi/utlities/everything included. Move in date: September 1st. Thank you. Please DM me photos/info. I appreciate it very much. 14 14 Comments Like Comment why is everyone laughing at my post?! Like Reply 8m |cause you're trying to find a studio, 900, with utilities in Manhattan. oh

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Text - 12:35 1 G Guy Who Hit My Car > you think so far. Okay well before I tell my parents do you have a proposal of what we can do to figure this out Cuz it's probably not gonna be cheap to fix because it's a nice car Yesterday 8:43 PM I know a lot of people don't care for art, but honestly I'm a fine artist and it's what l'm best at. My medium of choice is singing/rapping/fashion/ photography/video.. I know it's not a tangible benefit which a lot of people don't like but maybe I can write an a

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Text - VE Day. If anyone local to me is out for a wander and passing Ladyhill drive around from 2:30pm onwards I will be leaving some bagged up homemade scones and cake on a table on the drive. Perfect for your afternoon tea at 4pm Like Comment Will there be any others snacks I can't eat scones due to an allergy. I'm on a long walk and will be passing that direction about then. Worked up a big appetite and some sandwiches would be great. Also any drinks? Thank you in advance

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Land vehicle - Tampa Bay Car Meets 13 mins O Raffling off the opportunity to do a photoshoot with my car once it's done. You don't get anything but the honor of photographing my car. 54 tickets at $100 each. Need to see portfolio of work before l'll accept your bid for the raffle. Clicky bois, no iPhones. AY ELEFU

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Text - ll AT&T , 5:20 PM 49% 438 2i55 > Title and current registration card? Do you have them both? I have those but again the car just needs repair, it's having a tough time running very far Will you take 20 bucks for it? AAAA 20 bucks .. For the entire car ? Because I am going through a financial situation Text Message Pay

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Totally Terrific, Funny, And Random Tumblr Gems

We'll never grow tired of the random and strange gems from the brilliant minds of the Tumblr world. Tumblr users are always hatching up new facts, fan theories, and other fun observations that make passing the time thoroughly enjoyable. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about how Darth Vader is the queen of drama.

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Text - maximum-overboner Follow in primary school we had a creative writing assignment where we had to 'write about a character in a new, strange situation!' and i wrote about a squid that was somehow teleported from the ocean to the forest floor and slowly choked to death for two pages and i'll never quite forget my teacher's face because it turns out she wanted 'this new school is scary, i hope i make friends!' and not a graphic description of a squid dying bunjywunjy Follow well that's just t

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Text - TIL our walking speed is affected by whom we're with: men's pace slows down by an average of 7% when walking w/ female partners they're interested in; women walking together move the slowest; & men walking w/ male friends moved at speeds faster than either man's preferred walking speed. via reddit.com nextvisibledelicious just zoomin around with the lads ed-longshanks scientifically proven hoes just slow u down

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Roof - thestuffedalligator It's not autumn until you bring out the family trebuchet. thestuffedalligator I regret to announce that the family trebuchet has been retired following an incident wherein the trebuchet lobbed a pumpkin backwards, taking out a truck window, before self dest the counterweight swung into one of the support legs, shattering it instantly ting when thestuffedalligator I am delighted to announce that my dad has begun work on a new trebuchet Source: thestuffedalligator

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Text - ainaraoftime bus drivers who re-open their doors when they see someone running towards the stop are neutral good. any other kind of bus driver is automatically lawful evil soaringsparrows chaotic evil: the bus driver who saw me running to the stop and waited until i was at the door to close it and drive away

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Text - 43501 Time to bring back my husband's legendary bus story: Taking public transport for the first time in over two months, I made my way to the stop five minutes early. On my way there, I spotted my bus which also happened to be early (the chances ikr) and frantically waved for it to wait for me. which it did, up until I tried to board. I took a bit of time crossing the road because of some confused traffic and when I finally made it, the driver slammed the doors shut in my face and took o

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Text - Determined to catch the bus which rused me, seemingly on purpose, I took chase, but it quickly became evident that I could not outrun something that wasn't made of flesh and bone. Defeated, I crawled back to the bus stop and sat down, resigned to my fate of waiting another 45 minutes. Then, not one, but two cars (with people inside) pulled up and told me about how they'd seen my valiant effort and offered to chase that bus down for me. The first I politely declined, but the second man fel

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Text - alexiorsay ppl are always like "no game is perfect you can't please EVERYbody" but when was the last time you heard a motherfucker complain about portal z-nogyrop should have contained more portals. i was disappointed by the number of portals nonbinarist zi hate to break this to you but you as the player are always in direct control of the amount of portals

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Text - koobaxion here's a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people. dunkstein Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck

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Text - RE tilthat TIL Frogs can be hypnotized by laying them on their back and stroking their stomach. Snails can sleep up to 3 years and 3% of Ice in Antarctic glaciers is just Penguin urine. via reddit.com sirobvious This guy is hogging all the facts eliteknightcats no. it's all connected

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Technology - laughingsquid The HUMMbucker Electric Kazoo, A Screeching Kazoo That Plugs Into an Amplifier moonlandingwasfaked this is proof God exists and loves us

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Text - bugboychampion Follow im gonna remove my nervous system so i wont be nervous anymore.cant believe what a good idea this is why did no one else do this #cmon and slam and welcome to the space queque 64,341 notes >

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Text - robotsatthedisco: awolfbeneath: themathmusician: just-shower-thoughts: When Americans talk about the day they declared independence from Great Britain, the don't say the actual date the American way (July 4th), they say it the British way (4th of July) WHAT THE I can't tell you how many times laughed at this, but it's a lot

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Text - dogpetter420 How tf California in a dtougbt There's water to the left of y'all Like Go get it. It's always been there. handsssalloverr you know how hard it is to take saltwater and make it drinkable? Not that simple dogpetter420 Why ont you start with removing the salt from ya attitude Source: dogpetter420 279,014 notes

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Food - Things I know my dad can cook 1. Macaroni 2. A surprisingly kickass omelette chefpyro Apparently my dad has lied to me about what an omelette is for fucking years. intjint You dad may not know words, but he sure can cook a mean egg pizza

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Text - voldemortandco: zubat: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family. are you canadian

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Text - sodiumforsaltytimes Idk why but this hit me really hard and I've been staring at it for a couple minutes. ethuil meanwhileinfillory "You say 'amateur' as if it was a dirty word. 'Amateur' comes from the Latin word 'amare', which means to love. To do things for the love of it." Mozart in the Jungle

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Text - heartshapedbasil Follow your man doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions maplebungus Follow your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions hozey-nevergoingtochurch Follow Who's fucking carmelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist? fuckdamn Follow do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions Source: heartshapedbasil

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Text - * Ingenium people shouldn't have to pimp themselves off to the military to afford college wtf dishwasher-in-a-suit They don't...lol autistic-dave-strider actually almost every teacher i've ever had has suggested joining the military because they'll pay for college and almost half of my class is either doing it or considering it but i hope that rock you live under has air conditioning

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Text - stunningpicture: Failed panoramic. define failed dude the dream is collapsing

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Text - owlmylove: bedabug: making a new password like me: beefstew computer: sorry password not stroganoff oh my god *slowclap*

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Restaurants That Served Food In Everything Except Dishes

Sure, it's fun to spice up the dining experience with some clever presentation, but at the end of the day it's sort of telling when a restaurant puts less emphasis on the food itself and more on the vintage telephone it's served on. Sometimes it's hard to tell what part of the dish is actually edible, especially in the case of minerals that look a lot like food.

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Dish - DE GALLO FARMHOUSE CHEDDAR ON BEANS SOUR CREAM GUACAM BLACK

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Drink - Sam FOSSIL 6.

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Food - Die

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Food - Food served on tablets

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Dish - Natrition Facte per 10l Se 300 ml

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Food - P.S.Burton @PSBurton In a restaurant in canada last night | was served pudding on, and I wish I was joking, an ancient VHS copy of The Bodyguard KEVIN COSTNER Never Never tall in le THERODYGUARD SNIS COVINER WITNEY HOSTON Featuring the #1 Hit S

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Food - ponbiii nu d de la tr

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Dish - ll Verizon 8:17 AM Tweet Okay it's been almost 6 months I think I'm ready to talk about it..I was served food on (in?) a..urinal??? In Cuba Tweet your reply Q

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Dish - Model odelo He SPONTED BEER odelo Modelo pecial pecial

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Footwear - Al RTILLA ТАРИ BY JOSÉ

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Food - International Pictures Of Beer p And Hauls Too Plus Other Beer Stuff Yesterday at 7:16 PM • A brewery near me has started serving ipas in bowls.

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Table - FULL SPECTRAM CBD CALIVOLVE HEMP EXTRACT AESTO 25 ONDA V C8O per 2 CAPSULES

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Food - heland G LONY GUINNESS

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Recipe - 23 Jason Scott retweeted Matthew Rowley @mbrowley 19h Friends took us to dinner last night at an Indian joint in La Jolla. Appetizers came on twee little wooden chairs. Not a fan of plated cuteness for adults. Or questionable sanitation. Because l've spent years in restaurants, though, I knew how to close it down properly. +, Q 16 27 139 742

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Tagged: wtf , FAIL , lol , restaurants , dumb , food , dishes , funny
       
 

Stylist Stays Professional With Angry Karen

Kudos to this stylist for managing to keep a calm demeanor in the face of an entitled Karen. Karen even tries to swing low with that lame threat at the end. Seriously, these kinds of people are the worst. 

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Text - 70 L Today 2:33 PM I need my hair done. I need in tomorrow. I'm sorry, I actually don't have any openings until the week after next!! I might have a spot next week if it opens up but as for right now I don't have anything! What about Sep 1st @ 10?

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Text - My roots look awful I can't wait that long I need in tmrw I can come late if I need to I really can't, I already work pretty late as it is, I'm sorry! If I could get you in tmrw I would but I'm already booked back to back! O You don't care about your customers enough to work a little late even tho we are what pays the bills? I know someone else who could get me in tmrw and who charges less but I want to stay with you anyways

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Text - 70 Can I come tomorrow at 7? I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't do tomorrow! I would be happy to put you on a cancellation list, just in case, but I don't have an opening until sep 1st! Would you like to book that appointment?

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Text - No I need to come in tomorrow maybe early Saturday morning I have an event this weekend. I have lots of friends and I wud hate to have to tell them I can no longer recommend you because you can never get me in Look, I have enjoyed having you in my chair, but I don't appreciate the way you're talking to me, and I think the other stylist you know may be a better fit for you. I very rarely have availability with 24 hours notice. I book at least 2 weeks in advance usually. I'm sorry, but I wi

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Dine N' Dash Diva Gets Her Comeuppance

Man, oh, man this young lady named Dee was on an entitled tear. She had the audacity to go out for nice meals and many drinks with her friends, and then ditch them whenever the bill arrived. Not only is that inconceivably rude to people she called her "friends", but it's also insanely insensitive to the folks working at the restaurant just trying to make ends meet. Fortunately, Dee's friends were able to teach her just the kind of lesson she needed. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/Vast_Seaworthiness • 1d 1 1 1 1 2 8 1 Dine n' Dash Diva Gets What She Deserves. My group of friends have been together for quite some time, at least starting from the end of middle school. The majority of us ended up going to the same college, so good for us. Anyway, one of our "friends" has been acting unreasonably and starting drama for fun. It' been slowly building up for about a year.

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Text - Now, gossip and rumors we can deal with because we know each other and we can usually pick the truth from the lies easily. At the point of her rumor-spreading we distanced ourselves from her quite a bit. Her latest antics have been much different. For the sake of this story, her name can be Dee. In our area, cases have been low so we've started to go out more with the whole gang. Extra precautions aside, things look to be normal. We eat at a semi-formal restaurant, as is our custom. Somet

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Text - The second part of our routine is to go to the "hosts" house, where we drink, watch movies and have a good time. Kelly was to be the host this time. We're not much for gossip, but Dee's odd behavior mixed with her previous antics got us on the topic. All 6 of us shared some stories, and it looks like every one of us had some personal run-in with our friend. The second time we all go out to dinner, everything seems well. Dee ordered a lot of mixed drinks and seemed thoroughly tipsy. Foolis

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Text - We rendezvous to the host's place, very annoyed and in no mood to party. Again, Dee refuses our calls and does not open our messages. We busy ourselves by trying to get in touch with some of Dee's other friends. Through the mish-mash of conversation, it was revealed that Dee was receiving a stipend from her father that she was saving to buy herself a new Tesla. Not only did she have a job, but she was getting free money from her dad. There was no reason for her to not pay her bills. I gue

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Text - Today was the day. We decided to go to a very nice restaurant today, about twice the prices of what we would normally do. Dee looked so excited, bless her. We all ate, drank, and had a great time. Dee had ordered many drinks, and was again drunk. We were careful not to wait too long or else Dee would dash, so just as dessert was over and the prospect of after- dinner coffee was being thrown around, we all declared that we had a surprise for Dee. Next month is her birthday, so we thought i

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Text - Just as we were pulling out of the parking space (we all took one car to save time after our escape, Dee took her own car as usual), we saw Dee running out of the doors searching wildly for us. She caught sight of the car just as we rolled away, middle fingers arise. Our phones were blowing up like crazy, tons of vile messages following the calls. got to thinking, the bill must have totaled around $700-ish for everyone. We would have never picked this place normally, although the food was

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Text - To say she went crazy is an understatement, she went coconuts. She tore us a new one on Twitter, blocked us, then unblocked us to rip us some more, then blocked us again. Now Kelly, who has an alt Snapchat account, is treating us to her near-psychotic rants talking about "fake whores who never did anything for her". I guess that's us. Maybe next time she'll learn to pay for herself like an adult. Edit: I made a comment about this, but it got buried. We will be finding the waiter and tippi

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Misfortune Monday: The World is Unpredictable

Life brings with it many challenges and moments of unforeseen chaos. You could find a snake in your tailpipe, get an embarrassing license plate, or sit on your own TV. It's impossible to predict the mistakes and messes that will come into your life, and all we can do to avoid them is to try our best.

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Floor - IM

2.

Technology - 2017-08-28 TENISE es

3. Weed Killer/Fertilizer Mix-up

Sport venue - LIVE CHOPPER 7 HD

4.

White stork

5. High winds

Awning

6.

Bird

7.

Barechested - ONE

8.

Hand

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Tray

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Ice cream cone - R

11. Hurricane alters river, makes bridge useless

Natural environment

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Technology - Tenneccee USA IN DRIVER LICENSE THE VOLUNTEER STATE NOT FOR FEDERAL IDENTIFICATION DOB 07/30/1995 iss 07/24/2020 DL NO EXP 07/24/2028 CLASS D END NONE REST 01 SEX F HGT 5'-03" EYES BRO DD EDL DODD JADE CHRISTINE

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Tire - 11A 1U

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Yellow - L00-9LO00

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Yellow - 811

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Dog breed - PEAS FACE AT A

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Vehicle door - CAUTION Fuel Spray May Cause Iniery REMOVE SLMN A LOOSE CAP MAY TURN ON SERVICE ENGINE LIGHT

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Land vehicle - CAFE & GRI BOTANICUM 2FAST4U HP

19. Dog got into flour

Furniture

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Food

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Grass - CUSHMAN

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Geological phenomenon

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Land vehicle - NIS AN couparorastETe.com Québec H11 TLR Je me souviens. OCOUPAL & BRASSARD ROGUE SV

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Property

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Chair - LH

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Tagged: Sad , chaos , wtf , whoops , FAIL , messes , disaster , mistakes , lol
       
 

Mistaken Wife Believes Actor Friend is An Actual Doctor

It's an actual case of "I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV." Some folks are so far in that they can't really be helped. It's a regrettable part of life that there are people walking around like this. For example, take these wildly dumb things people have heard or these facepalm moments.

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Text - r/IDontWorkHereLady · Posted by u/loslaslon 16 hours ago "He's not a doctor." “Yes he is, I saw him on TV." XXL Not quite sure this fits, but wasn't sure where else it would. So I've had a friend since college who's a great guy, I love him to pieces, but I've occasionally considered ending the friendship because his wife is so jarringly dumb. For the life of me I do not know what he gets from her. Ok, I do, she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in real life. But even still,

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Text - A while back I had a friend visiting, "Camden," and she was dropping her kids by to hang out with mine. I invited her to stay for a bite to eat because yes she's exquisitely dumb, but she's perfectly friendly. Camden's been trying to break into acting and he recently had a bit part on a TV medical drama. So I brought it up, saying, "Camden just recently had a small role as a doctor on this show." She went "Ahhh, that's so exciting! Congratulations! That must not be easy, to get a job ther

3.

Text - And she laughed and went, "Well, we all feel that way when we first start, regardless of what job. Just keep working hard, and you'll get all that stuff over time. But don't sell yourself short! It's not easy to be a doctor." And he took the compliment and went into how he went about playing the role, the body language he tried to adopt for the intensive care unit, that sort of stuff. Then she cut him off and went, “Actually, you know what, if you wouldn't mind, my son has actually had th

4.

Text - Camden, confused and weirded out by the whole thing, started saying, "Oh, no, uh... heh... they didn't teach us any medical stuff for the part. I can't, like, help you with this." I jumped in and changed the subject, but she left shortly after. I'd long since given up on trying to explain to her why some jokes are funny and others are not, so I thought I'd let it be, even though she seemed kind of miffed when she left. Later she came back to pick her kids up, and by then Camden had gone h

5.

Text - So, as I processed the pure bitterness in her voice, I realized she genuinely and truly thought Camden was a medical doctor. So, convinced I must be misunderstanding her, I further reiterated, "No, no, he's an actor. He played a doctor. On that show. You've seen the show." (It's not a small production, it's like Grey's Anatomy or House, everyone knows of it.) And, even angrier now, she said "Of course I have, I know all about it. It's one of the best hospitals in the country, why do you t

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Text - As soon as she was gone I called my friend, her husband, to try and catch him before she was home. I relayed the whole series of events to him, and his response? "Oh that. Yeah, it's a problem. But it's not entirely her fault. Often times those shows use stories ripped from the headlines of the actual news, you know? So you can see why she gets mixed up sometimes." She bumped into Camden at my anniversary party not too long later and asked him, with genuine concern, if a character on the

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Text - So, if you wonder how our country ended up where we are, know that she has a bachelor's degree from an accredited college and holds a job with several subordinates and partial responsibility over our city's water supply. So.. advocate for education reform whenever you can, and enjoy these twilight years of the great American experiment.

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Text - JFerrer619 1.8k points · 17 hours ago This...this can't be real. I refuse to believe this is real! Please tell me you're just trolling us all. loslaslon 2.0k points · 16 hours ago • I wish. Other top highlights of hers include remarking on how it's a sign that God loves America best because fireworks always happen on the Fourth of July (she thought they were a natural phenomenon like the northern lights or volcanoes), stubbornly insisting on eating an actual rose (not icing, real) off a c

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Text - SuspiciousLookinMole 310 points · 15 hours ago My ex-MIL was a bit like this. Back in the early 00's. she borrowed my hubby's Discman for a roadtrip. (yes, I'm old) When they got back, she returned the Discman to hubby saying "I think it's broken. No matter what CD I put in, it just played this loud - NOISE. Like that metal music you always listen to." He had left a Slipknot CD in there, and she just.put her CD in without checking, or without checking when the Garth Brooks she expected di

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Tagged: wtf , absurd , wife , ridiculous , story , dumb , funny , stupid
       
 
 
   
   
   
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