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2024/01/11

🥤 Trampled over a Stanley cup at Target

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Curating the best and worst of the internet
Thursday January 11, 2024
Hello fellow citizens of the internet! Andrew here. Welcome to today's edition of web_crawlr

Our top stories today are about: A Target shopper who says they were trampled by people trying to get a special edition Stanley cup at Target, an exclusive report about Jeffrey Epstein's New Mexico ranch getting robbed of "30-40" guns, conspiracy theories about the recent Alaska Airlines flight's window blowing out mid-flight, and a viral video where a woman says USPS won't deliver to her because a worker got bitten by a dog (although she doesn't have one). 

After that, our Senior Politics and Technology Editor David has "Deplatformed' column for you. 

See you tomorrow! 

— A.W. 
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⚡ Today's top stories
🥤 WTF 
The Valentine's Day-themed Stanley cups released at Target are all the rage—so much so that customers are trampling each other to get their hands on one.
 READ MORE 
📰 EXCLUSIVE
A New Mexico Department of Public Safety police report obtained exclusively by the Daily Dot details a burglary at pedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein's Zorro Ranch in August 2018 where thieves allegedly stole "30-40" guns.
 READ MORE
✈️ CONSPIRACY
The world looked on in shock as a door of Boeing 737 Max 9 was torn off mid-Alaska Airlines flight—but now, armchair detectives are rife with conspiracy theories surrounding the event.
 READ MORE 
🐶 VIRAL
A USPS customer said that because a mail carrier was bitten by a dog near or on her property (a detail she's still trying to confirm) she can no longer have packages delivered to her house.
 READ MORE
🚉 Deplatformed
By David Covucci
Politics & Technology Editor
Silent O/Shutterstock, MyImages - Micha/Shutterstock (Licensed)
Deplatformed: CIA Maui fire and DEI pilot conspiracies
Deplatformed is a weekly column that looks into the nether reaches of the internet—outside the big few sites that everyone already covers—to tell you the political discourse online.
1) Maui CIA operatives outed?

The Maui fire, in August 2023, was one of the deadliest disasters in American history. As a racing inferno, aided by by high-winds and dry conditions, it swept through the town of Lahaina, killing over 100 people and burning the town at an estimated 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit, hot enough to melt the aluminum inside cars.

And now, the
CIA agents responsible for it are about to be brought to justice.

While
most people understand the Maui fire to be a natural disaster, the result of a confluence of weather events worsened by the globe's changing climate, a segment of the population think the fires were intentionally started, for a variety of reasons.

And those prone to believe that are
prone to believe anything. Which is why a nonsensical X post went viral on conspiratorial sites, with users ready to think that the unmasking of CIA officials was imminent.

"Just a heads up," wrote @DecentFiJC while also tagging
Elon Musk,  "We are getting close to potentially identifying several CIA agents involved in the human (child) trafficking operation that is now STRONGLY believed to be directly linked to the MAUI "fires. Once we've identified them, we WILL BE OUTING THEM ON X and we plan to make sure they are hunted down immediately. Regardless of what the DOJ does or doesn't do."

A random X user privy to the names of those involved in one of the most "nefarious" government operations—killing people to steal and traffick their babies (and also free up land for Oprah) was
too much for the QAnon message board Great Awakening to pass up.

"Looks like the CIA is going to finally be exposed for its involvement in the Maui fires. Direct Energy Weapons used. Celebrities like Oprah's land grab. Missing children unaccounted for. Splinter the C.I.A. in a thousand pieces and scatter it to the winds," wrote one user.

"They need to dispatch those agents in the most painful way," responded one.

Others were
worried for the safety of the original poster.

"Based but this geezer has a death wish bro," said one.

"U gonna dox cia agents? If you can quietly hunt them down first it would be safer for you." added another. 

2) Flying and DEI-ing

While our nation's planes are falling apart at the seams, a slate of conservatives online have instead focused on the people flying them.

Last week,
4channers became obsessed with the possibility that vaccinated pilots could be behind a spate of recent close encounters (and one crash) on runways worldwide.

A week later, the
newfound concern is that the DEI practices of airlines is putting passengers at risk.

On
Patriots.win, a popular post proclaimed that, "Re: the Alaska Airlines debacle. Get ready to live in a world where you don't get to fly unless you want to take a serious risk of dying,"

The post cites
a block of text (unclear where from) that claims that "every airline has an informal pilot assignment program that makes sure teir dei problem children are always paired with adult supersivions. But as older piilots retired, "every flight will be a roll of the dice and eventually there will be one with two defective DEI pilots in the cockpit. Pray for people on that flight."

The concern comes after a right-wing influencer
accused United of employing a pilot who failed multiple trainings and then recently nearly caused a crash.

"Was the co-pilot a former flight attendant who was FIRED and then rehired through United's DEI program despite being on a list to not return to United?" the tweet speculated.

United has been under fire from conservatives after it pledged in 2021 to diversify its pilots, but there's no proof this unnamed employee was some sort of unqualified hire based on diversity.

But nonetheless, responders on Patriots.win agreed that airlines' efforts to diversify were
doing immeasurable harm to the safety of flying (there's no proof to this) and that only white pilots could somehow handle the rigors of air travel.

Unless of course… 

"Most of the boomer pilots are injected anyway," wrote on true doomer.

Cars, it is.  
🕸️ Crawling the web
Here is what else is happening across the 'net.
👚 A user on TikTok has sparked discussion after claiming that an H&M employee attempted to scam him.
🧇 If you were ever curious about how to piss off your local Waffle House server, look no further than this viral video.
🥔 This Popeye's employee is showing some of the innovative ways she prepares meals for herself using ingredients in her restaurant's kitchen, with one meal consisting of "mashed potato balls," stuffed with bacon and cheese.
📺 Best Buy refused to take back the damaged TV they sold a customer claiming it's company policy. Many say they'll no longer buy TVs from the retailer because of it.
🎂 This video of a flight attendant baking a cake on a plane is getting a ton of attention online. 
🎯 One Target employee has raised a new complaint about customers: those who act a little too familiar, and call her by her given name, even though she is wearing a nametag.
🛒 Popular content creator Madison (@ugh_madison) is spending her free time working shifts at different well-known stores, like Walmart and Target.
👶 From the Daily Dot archive: The many lives of the Dancing Baby, cyberspace's first cringe meme.
*The Daily Dot may receive a commission in connection with purchases of products or services featured here.
📝 Question of the Day
Everyone's got opinions, and we want to know yours. Just click a button below to answer the question, and tomorrow we will let you know how fellow web crawlers like you answered. 
HAVE YOU USED UBER IN THE LAST MONTH?
Yes
Nope
Yesterday's responses: 54% of web crawlers said they have not seen Vince McMahon memes on their timeline, while 46% said that they have
👋 Before you go
After getting through the food gauntlets of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve, taking on a 28-inch, nearly ten-pound pizza is probably the last thing any of us wants to dive into.

But what if making your way through that mountain of sauce and cheese could net you a cold $450 in cash?

Cicis Pizza in Katy, Texas, located at 21931 Katy Fwy, invites any of its guests to partake in the "Pizza Challenge." 

If you've got the nerve—and the stomach—to accept the conditions, you too could compete for the $500 prize. But beware. More people have failed than succeeded. In fact, the majority of people who have attempted it couldn't beat the hour-long time limit.

That didn't stop Texas TikToker MOMOTIONLV (@momotionlv) from shooting his shot
JHVEPhoto/Shutterstock (Licensed), @momotionlv/TikTok (Fair Use)
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