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2024/06/11

Opinion Today: His mom had Alzheimer’s. Now he does, too.

She showed him that life with the disease is still worth living.
Opinion Today

June 11, 2024

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By Neel V. Patel

Staff Editor, Opinion

When Stephen Gettinger's guest essay submission dropped into my inbox several weeks ago, I understood immediately there was something unique in what he sent me. He wanted to write about Alzheimer's, but not as a doctor or clinical expert and not strictly as the loved one of a person who has the disease. Instead he was a patient, diagnosed last fall. He was not prepared to deal with the realities of the disease and felt scared and depressed. "Things went dark when I heard the news of my own diagnosis," he writes. "I began planning the playlist for my funeral."

But Gettinger, a retired journalist, looked to a source of inspiration for how to come to terms with the disease: his mother, who spent decades of her life with Alzheimer's before dying in 1999. In fact, he published an essay in The New York Times nearly 25 years ago about the experience of watching her deal with Alzheimer's. She learned to adopt a more Zen-like state of mind, in which even small moments in the present were filled with wonder and mesmerization. Each day could still be a gift.

In reflecting on these experiences, Gettinger realized his mother's life was not over just because of her disease. It merely heralded a new chapter that would be uncertain and challenging but could still be rewarding and full of joy. In his new essay for Times Opinion, he describes his journey so far to channel the same attitude and outlook.

His insight is worthwhile not only for fellow Alzheimer's patients and their families; it can extend to all parts of life, for all people. Life isn't a series of good times to latch onto or bad times to escape from but a journey in which we try to find happiness and meaning in spite of the circumstances we can't control. Gettinger's mother seemed to have learned that, and he seems to have as well. It's something we can all learn from, too.

Read the full essay:

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