In partnership with 1440 | | Crier Quotes | "It's hard for me to choose just one, but if I had to, I would say the best day of my life was when my prized hog, Caspian, won first place at the state fair. He was delicious."
- Reba McEntire | | Trending News | This week, grocery chain Wegmans recalled packages of frozen chicken nuggets after it found bones in the meat. In heinsight, customers said they should've known better when the bag was labeled "Chunky Style" | An elementary school principal in Florida was arrested for throwing a massive underage alcohol-fueled house party for over 100 teenagers. The principal has been charged with several counts of child neglect and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and one count of impersonating Matt Gaetz. | The largest-ever study on cannabis and its impact on brain function suggests usage of cannabis products has a statistically significant negative effect on working memory. When asked how they felt about their loss of memory, participants said "who's memory? I don't know any memory. I knew a Mallory once. She sat next to me in Mrs. McGeechy's social studies class in 8th grade. We made a diaroma on the Bay of Pigs. What were we talking about?" | | Feature | Staten Island Chuck Predicts Six More Weeks of Saying Hi to Your Sister for Me | | Emerging from his hollowed log around 7:30 AM, Staten Island Chuck made his yearly prediction, once again declaring six more weeks of "saying hi to your sister for me." | Chuck, who made the pronouncement between sets of 100-rep bicep curls, said that over the next six weeks, he expects you to let your sister know he was asking about her, adding, "How come she don't come 'round here no more? Whatsamatter? She don't like me or sumtin'?" | The four-legged prognosticator said he'd like to see "a pretty little thing" like your sister around more often. "You know, I could use a fine piece like her to help keep my log warm youknowhatimean? — aahhh, I'm just bustin' your balls. Relax, chief. She's a good girl. But seriously though, tell her I said hello, will ya?" | As this issue goes to print, Chuck was seen lathering himself in tanning oil before heading into a nearby Beach Bum Tanning salon, telling the receptionist, "Beach Season is a state of mind." | | Thanks for reading! And if you feel so inclined, click below to keep The Town Crier free! Who knows? You might win something. | New monthly giveaway starts today, so get in now by clicking below to check out 1440! No purchases necessary. Last month's winner announced next Sunday! | Seeking impartial news? Meet 1440. | Every day, 3.5 million readers turn to 1440 for their factual news. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you a complete summary of politics, global events, business, and culture, all in a brief 5-minute email. Enjoy an impartial news experience. | Join for free today! | | If you enjoyed this week's issue and want to support future editions, please share it! | | If someone shared this issue with you, let's cut out the middle man and subscribe for free by clicking below. | | Follow on Instagram |  | www.instagram.com/the.crier |
| |
|
|
|
No comments:
Post a Comment
Keep a civil tongue.