The best Overheard in New York quotes from last week, by your votes:
How Jake Met His Second Wife
Guy: Today's my anniversary!
Lady suit: Congratulations!
Guy: I've been divorced 28 years today. Bitch drove me crazy.
Lady suit: Oh.
--City Hall
Everybody Hates Being Outvictimized
(Native American cop is arresting a black man)
Black man: Fuckin' discrimination, man! Leave me the fuck alone! I ain't done nothin wrong!
Native American Cop: Fuck you! We were oppressed first!
Black man: Apache motherfucker!
--82nd St, Queens
Overheard by: Lea
By "It" I Mean the Horrible Shame and Crippling Loneliness
Pretty girl looking in mirror: My eyebrows are too small for my face.
Queer friend: My penis is too small for my ego. We learn to deal with it.
--Union Square
Overheard by: Climate Changer
The Judge Sided With the Cat
Guy #1: What, you think he's a moron because he didn't go to grad school?
Guy #2: No, he's a moron because he lost an argument with my cat.
--F Train
Now I Know My Wednesday One-Liners, Next Time Won't You Wednesday One-Liner With Me?
Little boy singing to mother: E is for druggies!
--R Train
Overheard by: Allegra
Crazy hobo: Take the V train! V is for vasectomy. Why take the crowded E train where all the lesbians will crush you?
--V Train Platform
Overheard by: Tom
Conductor: This is 14th Street. Transfer here for the L as in "lower level of hell".
--F Train
Overheard by: So True
Little boy playing with chopsticks: Look mom! (forms a V) V for Victoria! (forms an X) X for xylophone! (forms a T) and T for terrorist!
--Japanese Restaurant, 3rd & 25th
Conductor over loudspeaker: I know it's Saturday afternoon and all you people are mad confused because the trains are all messed up on weekends, so listen up: The W as in "Will you marry me?" will be running on the Q as in "cookie" line. And the R as in (goes in operatic singing voice) "rooooooooooomeooooooooooo" will be running normally for the rest of the weekend. Alright y'all... There you go. Enjoy your Saturday!
--Canal Street Subway Station
Overheard by: stfo
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Keep a civil tongue.