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2009/06/29

Thrillist Nation: Built-A-Whirl

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Sirs, check this out. It's the recap of a Thrillist Loft
party we just threw in New York featuring ABSOLUT Vodka,
plus flair bartenders, breakdancers, attractive women, and
modestly decent looking men. We're rolling the Loft to
another Thrillist city -- whichever one receives the most
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Thrillist Nation
Monday June 29, 2009

Built Burger

The perfect burger harmoniously blends simple-yet-expressive
elements, melding dripping juices with the refreshing crunch
of lettuce, the gooey tang of melted cheese, and the subtle
foundation of bun -- all barely noticeable after sodomizing
it with Chili Cheese Fritos and a half-bottle of Hidden
Valley. Wise up and get patties with the flavor already in
'em, from Built Burger.

Shipped from Seattle, BB's taste-infused burgs were dreamed
up by two guys so tired of bland backyard BBQs, they created
a meatwich that could "combine your favorite flavors" and
"stand on its own, sans bun, sans toppings", whereas
previously, a burger divided against its Heinz was destined
to fall. Their solution's twofold: 1) to ensure maximum
freshness, each 100% all-natural beef patty's crafted by
hand when you order (then flash frozen and FedEx'd to you in
dry ice) and 2) pumping up flavor by blending a
tongue-melting array of farmhouse vegetables, glorious
cheeses, and imported spices into the meat, ensuring each
bite'll deliver on the promised flavor, unlike those damn
microchips and hemorrhoid donuts. Options include the
Magnificent Chorizo, with house-made namesake sausage,
roasted poblanos, cotija cheese, and cilantro; the
Trailblazer, featuring cave-aged Gruyere, fresh caraway
seeds, and caramelized onions; and the Luxe Italian, which
boasts 14 ingredients (carrots, pine nuts, raisins...),
and's made from the Bolognese trio of beef, veal, and pork,
finally allowing burger lovers and Italian purists to
compromise on the best route to a coronary.

Should beef not fit the bill, altermeat options include the
Thrill BBQ Pork (ground and pulled pork that's been
slow-roasted in custom bbq sauce, w/ peppers, onions, and
chipotle), the Thai-inspired Utopia Chicken (w/ mint, lime,
fish sauce, etc.), and the Heavenly Lamb, with Kalamata
olive/feta/hot pepper, elements whose mingling in your mouth
will sodomize your chances of any later harmonious gooey tang.

Through July 7th enter the code THRILL1 to recieve 15%
orders of $75 or more, and to ensure your 4th of July BBQ
doesn't suck order real soon at http://themove.thrillist.com/link.php?M=2181171&N=57411&C=25f0fb7663659a52572fbc99fe5fd818&L=46255


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