The best Overheard in New York quotes from last week, by your votes:
Wednesday One-Liners Run the Other Underground Railroad
Conductor: This is the 3:07 off peak train to Huntington. Stopping at Woodside, Jamaica, New Hyde Park...blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Watch the gap. (clicks microphone off)
--LIRR
Conductor: There's a 2 express train right across the platform. Ready, set, go!
--1 Train
Conductor: There's a Brighton Beach-bound b train across the platform. Say that three times fast.
--F Train
Overheard by: Thom Cohen
Conductor: Ladies and gentleman, I have a very important announcement: this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. I repeat, this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. There will be another train after this one, and another one after that.
--Downtown 2 Train
Train conductor: This message is for the young man who stepped to the edge of the platform at the front of the train. This train feels no pain, this train has no brain. How about you?
--Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Guitarbuyer
Bus driver: This is East 18th Street. If you get off here, you'll be at the q train faster. If you choose to not use your god-given walking ability, the q train is next.
--B11 Bus
Overheard by: not using her god given walking ability
Conductor: This is 96th Street. Next stop, 103rd. Everyone ready? And away we go!
--1 Train
Overheard by: Ali
Remind Him to Pick Up My Dry Cleaning While You're at It.
Middle-aged rich woman: Do you want to have time to have dinner tonight, honey?
Middle-aged rich man: How the hell should I know? Call my assistant!
Middle-aged rich woman: The next time I call your assistant will be the day after I've just fucked him.
--72nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: felix
The Two Kinds Of New Yorkers: Encapsulated.
Thin 20-something: Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.
Heavier friend: Unless you melt some mozzarella on it!
--BBQ, The Bronx
Wednesday H1N1-Liners
Sick girl: I probably don't have swine flu...but I was in Brooklyn last night.
--90th St & Lexington
Overheard by: UESider
Woman on cell: What's with this pig virus thing going around? It's killing people in Mexico, Europe, here in Queens... (pause) Do that many people eat bacon?
--55th & Madison
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
High school student, watching overheated and smoking car: What the fuck is this shit?! Dat nigga's muffler got dat swine flu!
--M86 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
Hipster guy on cell: Oh, your enthusiasm is just like the swine flu!
--22nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: BL
Amateur rapper, walking down street: If you got the swine flu, bitch, stay outta my hood! Cause the sun it is shinin' and I'm feelin' so good.
--188th St & Washington Ave
Hipster guy: Abby is a total germophobe. She was like, "what have you eaten lately?" and I was like, "a raw pig from Mexico. Is that bad?"
--76th St & 3rd Ave
Ever Feel Like There's Less Mystery in the Gay Dating Scene?
Drunk guy #1: Don't take this the wrong way, but I really want to take you home tonight.
Drunk guy #2: How am I supposed to take that?
Drunk guy #1, seriously: In the ass.
--F Train
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