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2010/01/04

Thrillist Chicago: The Miracle Metz

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Thrillist Chicago
Monday January 4, 2010

Metz Functional Art
More-literal rocking chairs

Dudes are always telling you your furniture rocks, but
they're actually just trying to butter you up so they can
swing a favorable trade for that Shawon Dunston Rated
Rookie. Legitimize those dubious claims, with Metz
Functional Art.

From a Cincinnati guy who comes from a long line of
woodcrafters, MFA's handmade custom furniture is modeled
after various classic guitars that've been given the stamp
of approval from people that excel in the field of music,
like Gene Simmons, whose taste in furniture is the well-kept
secret behind his claim to have bedded more than 1,000
chicks, and graced more than seven Better Homes and Gardens
covers. Their guitar chairs are molded from Baltic birch and
placed on a stainless steel base that swivels and rocks,
with seats shaped after famed axes from the likes of Les
Paul and Fender, in colors ranging from midnight black and
teal to black cherry and orange sunburst, which you fondly
recall drinking after youth soccer games while watching
Turner and Hooch on Laser Disc. They also make guitaresque
barstools, two sizes of coffee tables, and another table
shaped like a big guitar pick that makes a great nightstand
or, if you're super clever on Halloween and tape some
condoms to it, a one night stand!!!

Because telling time is important, they also make
pick-shaped wall clocks, which totally rock, unlike your
shoddy package compensation of Steve Lyons, Angels Leaders,
and a checklist.

Check out all the face-melting guitar action at
MetzFunctionalArt.com:
http://themove.thrillist.com/link.php?M=2181171&N=233069&C=25f0fb7663659a52572fbc99fe5fd818&L=76597


-----------------Morning Quickie------------------
^ New Music Spot - Check out the menu for Lockdown, a
Western Ave concert bar aiming to open up later this month.
http://themove.thrillist.com/link.php?M=2181171&N=233069&C=25f0fb7663659a52572fbc99fe5fd818&L=76604

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