The Onion Daily Dispatch - July 22, 2011

Fri Jul 22, 2011 www.theonion.com

Manager, Pitcher Go Through Entire Bottle Of Wine During Really Great Mound Visit 07.22.11 MINNEAPOLIS—Cleveland Indians manager Manny Acta and pitcher Justin Masterson said they "shared a great baseball moment…a great human moment" while splitting a bottle of chilled white wine during an "exceptional" mound vis... News in Brief » Nation's School Systems Held Back A Year American Voices » Kim Kardashian Suing Old Navy "Are you sure it's not actually her? That woman is a snowflake." video » Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia Congress has pledged to consider looking into new sanctions following North Korea's eradication of all life on the Asian continent. Radio News » Indiana Woman Puts Cool Whip Containers To Every Conceivable Use

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 While innovative, your plans for a solar-panel-powered sex machine will fall victim to a wave of scorn and derision. Most Popular » Congress Continues Debate Over Whether Or Not Nation Should Be Economically Ruined God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President Kim Kardashian Suing Old Navy Nation's School Systems Held Back A Year News Corp. Under Fire For Cell Phone Hacks Nation's Optometrists Finally Starting To Recover After Raucous Optic Disc Expo 2011

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