The Onion Daily Dispatch - August 02, 2011

Tue Aug 02, 2011 www.theonion.com

Democrats, Republicans Celebrate Pitiful Excuse For Common Ground 08.01.11 WASHINGTON—Following Sunday’s pathetic excuse for an agreement on raising the government’s borrowing limit, Democrats and Republicans took time to celebrate the meager, ineffective deal, calling it “a testament to the not-so-great ... News in Brief » FDA: Everyone Needs To Induce Vomiting Right Now American Voices » Woman Fined For Truck Nutz “This ruling will have broad implications for the entire automotive genital-accessory industry.” opinion » Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don't Try Any Shit by Adam Cuneo Mom, Dad, there's something we have to talk about. I've been wanting to tell you this for some time, and I want you to know that while I'm fully aware this might be difficult for you to hear, remember, I am still your son, and I love you very much: Mom, D... Radio News » Woman Only Dates On National Television Now

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll feel a strange mixture of pride and terror when NASA announces it will replace the space shuttle with you in launches starting late next year. Most Popular » FDA: Everyone Needs To Induce Vomiting Right Now Democrats, Republicans Celebrate Pitiful Excuse For Common Ground Area Woman Excited To Finally Experience Unbearable Loneliness Of Having Her Own Place Woman Fined For Truck Nutz Escort Reveals Affair With That Actor From That Thing (Season 1: Ep 4 on IFC) Congress Passes First Law In U.S. History That Doesn't Somehow Kill Tens Of Thousands Of Ducks

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