The Onion Daily Dispatch - February 23, 2012

Thu Feb 23, 2012 www.theonion.com

Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other 02.23.12 AKRON, OH—According to witnesses, a tight-knit group of five female friends spent a wild night on the town Saturday, overindulging in emotionally supportive behavior and generally validating the living shit out of each other. Confirming the women ge... News in Brief » Obama: No Option Off The Table Except Snatching Iran's Leaders With Hook Lowered From Plane And Flying Them To Washington American Voices » Negative Advertising More Frequent In 2012 Primary "This is great news for the grim voiceover industry." opinion » I’m Getting Bitten By The Oscar Bug…AGAIN! by Jackie Harvey For some people, March Madness begins in March, and it’s tied to college basketball, but not me! Radio News » Crush Lasts Nearly Entire Bus Ride

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, My wife makes the best spaghetti in the world. How do I get her to make it more often without having to admit that I like it? — Randolph Tiggs, Chicago Most Popular » Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other Nation Trying, Okay? Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital Obama: No Option Off The Table Except Snatching Iran's Leaders With Hook Lowered From Plane And Flying Them To Washington New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct Man And Woman Get Drunk, Blow $30,000 In One Night

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