An Ignoble Experiment: Why is it so hard to use EFT to improve close relationships? Here's a new answer to that!

Note From Pat Carrington

Have you ever wondered why people so seldom use tapping to improve their close relationships? Often we don't even think of tapping as a solution to serious relationship problems.

I've been giving a good deal of thought as to why this happens and will share my conclusions with you today and some recommendations. I'm also designing a special teleseminar to address this issue on Thursday.

WHY is it people don't readily apply tapping to close relationships?

I think there are three main reasons:

1. They want to change the other person's behavior and they know that tapping won't do that.

2. The problem with the other person constantly reoccurrs so that when they fix one aspect of it another aspect appears.

3. They are so overwhelmed by the immediacy of the family situation or the relationship with another close person, that they don't feel they have the leisure to stop and use tapping!

Let's look at each of these reasons.

1. When we're having a difficulty with another person our natural instinct is to want to change the other person's behavior. There's nothing wrong with wanting to change another's behavior if that can be done easily and ethically, but if you TAP to change their behavior that's futile.

If you suggest to the other person that they use EFT or another tapping procedure for themselves, they will almost inevitably feel manipulated and resist. If you tap surrogately for them, they will sense on some level that you are doing this and it will not work.

The mistake you would be making is that, while EFT can't change their behavior directly, if you tap for how you experience this issue, this will change your own attitude about the other person or about whatever issue exists between you. Interestingly, the other person may then spontaneously change their behavior in surprising ways. At the very least you will feel very different about the situation and handle it very differently We are going to do some exciting work along these lines during the teleseminar.

2. The constant reoccurrence of issues with people close to us is a large part of the reason why tapping for such issues is problematic for so many of us. When those with whom we are experiencing difficulties are a major figure in our lives, in a sense our difficulty with them is ever-present in our awareness. A "one time fix" is not possible as it might be if we were tapping to clear a past trauma, or handle on an anticipated difficulty. No sooner does the problem clear up than another form of it appears.

This means that those who are in close relationships with us are apt to re-stimulate whatever problems we may have with them. If they live in the same house with us this can be daily. In everyday language, these people will be "pushing our buttons" repeatedly. No sooner do we tap away one aspect of our problem with them, than another one takes its place, representing another aspect of our relationship with them.

To deal effectively with problems of close relationships, tapping has to be used in a different way than we ordinarily apply it.

We must use tapping to IMMUNIZE us against problems that arise in a particular relationship. I call this immunization process Emotional Erasing, some of you have attended my teleseminars where I have demonstrated it. We're going to work with this method intensively in my teleseminar.

Overwhelm is the third important part of the problem. The immediacy of a close relationships is so great that people often feel that they don't have the time or leisure to stop and apply EFT or any other tapping technique to the issues at hand.

This is still another reason why self-training in the form of "immunizing" ahead of time is essential if you want to use tapping successfully for any ONGOING relationship problem. I'm going to show you how to do that in the teleseminar by using examples from real life and applying the Emotional Erasing technique to them.

I'm greatly hoping that you can be at this telecast with me and participate actively. It could be extremely valuable in shifting the energy of your close relationships in a profound way.

HOW MUCH DOES THE TELESEMINAR COST?

Admission is just $75 for this powerful 90 minute class (and you get the replays to listen to as often as you want)

BUT -

If you sign up within the next 4 days (before midnight on the day of the class - March 29) your cost of admission will be cut in half and you will pay only $37 for your seat!

So here is this week's special offer:

"Using Emotional Erasing for the Challenges of Close Relationships"
(A 90 minute teleseminar with Dr. Patricia Carrington)

Date:  Thursday, March 29, 2012
     U.S. Time: 8:00 pm Eastern time
                     7:00 pm Central time
                        6:00 pm Mountain time
                     5:00 pm Pacific time