The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 11, 2012

Fri May 11, 2012 www.theonion.com

Kentucky Derby Winner Hoping He Won't Have To Repeat What Was Easily Most Traumatic Experience Of Life 05.11.12 LOUISVILLE, KY—Shaken and trembling Kentucky Derby winner I'll Have Another, who came from behind and outside on the final turn to win the Kentucky Derby in a breathtaking display of speed and panic, is reportedly hoping that nothing like the 1-1/4-... News in Brief » Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe American Voices » Brain Surgery Live Tweeted "I bet it's just viral marketing for some new brain movie." opinion » Smoove Is Remodeling by Smoove B, Love Man By Smoove B Radio News » Environment-Friendly Hollywood Achieves 91 Percent Recycled Content

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You've tried everything you can think of to stop yourself from gaining weight. Unfortunately, you have your best ideas while eating entire coconut-cream pies. Most Popular »

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