Nation Celebrates What Is, Technically Speaking, Progress - June 27, 2013

Thu Jun 27, 2013 www.theonion.com

Nation Celebrates What Is, Technically Speaking, Progress 06.26.13 WASHINGTON—Following two Supreme Court rulings today that allowed homosexuals in California to wed, extended federal benefits to same-sex married couples, but stopped short of calling gay marriage constitutional, the nation celebrated what is, techn... News in Brief » Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, Alito Suddenly Realize They Will Be Villains In Oscar-Winning Movie One Day American Voices » Supreme Court Repeals Defense Of Marriage Act “I wish I didn’t have to move to the right side of history so soon.” opinion » Well, Time To Go Out In Front Of A Bunch Of People And Lie To Them by Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary By Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary Radio News » New Crispy Snack Cracker To Ease Crushing Pain Of Modern Life

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