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2013/12/30

Neatorama

Neatorama

Hi-Yo Silver, Away!

Posted: 30 Dec 2013 05:00 AM PST

The following is an article from Uncle John's Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader. And what better way to celebrate the silver anniversary of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader than the "return to those thrilling days of yesteryear," when a masked man rode the plains on a horse named Silver?

THE LONE STATION

In the late 1920s a movie theater owner from Detroit named George W. Trendle convinced his business partner that they should expand into the fledgling medium of broadcast radio. They bought the local CBS affiliate, and promptly named it WXYZ.

Trendle didn't like the restrictions that came with being a network station, so within a year he left CBS and became independent. That meant producing his own radio shows, but in those first few years WXYZ had trouble coming up with anything that could compete with popular shows on CBS and NBC.

Trendle never lost money showing cowboy movies in his theater, so in December 1932 he fired off a letter to Fran Striker, a prolific scriptwriter.

Will you please write up three or four Wild West thrillers, including all the hokum of masked rider, rustler, killer Pete, heroine on the train tracks, fight on top of the boxcars, Indian bad men, two-gun bank robbers, etc.

SEEING IS BELIEVING

That was a lot of detail to cram into a couple of scripts (especially when Trendle was only paying $4 per script) so Striker reworked some old episodes of a show called Covered Wagon Days to include a cowboy who wears a mask. Striker made him a Texas Ranger who traveled and worked alone -a lone ranger.

Striker gave his masked man ivory-handled revolvers, bullets made of silver, and a white stallion named Silver as well. Vivid details like this were known in the radio business as "shiny things for the mind," and were considered essential because they enabled listeners to form sharp mental images of characters they could not see.

Because The Lone Ranger was going to be a children's show, it was important that the character be a strong role model for kids. The Lone Ranger would treat others with respect. Violence would be kept to a minimum: He would use his guns only as a last resort and only to disarm his opponents, not to deliberately harm or kill them. He wouldn't drink or smoke, and he would have no romances. George Trendle was a stickler for proper language, and in all his years on the air the Lone Ranger never used slang or poor grammar. He didn't even have a Texas accent. He also never removed his mask, except to don another disguise. (The one exception: When meeting President Ulysses S. Grant, who refused to talk to a masked man.)

EASY RIDER

The country was mired in the Great Depression in the early 1930s, and Trendle, a penny-pincher in the best of times, was determined to cut costs wherever he could. The show needed a theme song, but Trendle didn't want to pay royalties to a composer. So he chose a classical selection: the finale to the William Tell Overture by Gioachino Rossini, who was long dead. That piece of music has been synonymous with The Lone Ranger ever since. The show aired for the first time on Monday, January 30, 1933, at 8:00 PM, and was broadcast three times a week for the next 22 years -2,956 original episodes in all.

Because of the limitations of radio, the Lone Ranger wouldn't remain alone for long. In radio the storyline advances largely through dialogue -or in the case of the first ten episodes of The Lone Ranger, through monologues. When the Lone Ranger was with other characters, he could talk to them, but when he was riding Silver, he rode alone. To prevent listeners from getting bored with one scene after another of the Lone Ranger talking to himself, Striker created the "faithful Indian companion, Tonto," and introduced him in episode 11.

ME TONTO

In recent decades the pidgin-talking Tonto has come to be seen as a demeaning, stereotypical depiction of Native Americans and their culture. The Lone Ranger spoke perfect English, while Tonto sounded more like Tarzan. Considering all the character's flaws, it's easy to forget  just how far ahead of his time Tonto was for the early 1930s. The Lone Ranger's audience soon grew to nearly 250 stations all over the United States, including in the Jim Crow South, where racial segregation was the law of the land. There, as everywhere, children were being entertained by a white man whose sole trusted companion and kemosabe -"faithful friend"- was an Indian who he respected as an equal. The Lone Ranger would, in effect, slip its subtle message of racial tolerance right past segregationist parents and into the hearts and minds of their children.

MAIL CALL

It didn't take long for Trendle and Striker to sense that they had a hit show on their hands, but just how big was it? In those days, measuring the size of a radio show's audience wasn't easy. One way to do it was to offer a free premium to listeners and invite them to write in to get it. If the station received a lot of letters, they would know the show had a large audience.



A few months after The Lone Ranger hit the airwaves, WXYZ offered kids a free Lone Ranger pop gun. The station received 25,000 letters in three days. That July, when the Lone Ranger made a public appearance at a local park, more than 70,000 people turned out to see him. The show was on its way to becoming the most popular in the history of radio, enjoyed by nearly as many adult listeners as children. Kids everywhere -girls included- dressed in Lone Ranger and Tonto outfits, joined Lone Ranger safety clubs, played with Lone Ranger cap guns, and sent away for one premium after another, including badges, silver bullets, and the Lone Ranger six-shooter ring, which shot real sparks when "fired" by spinning a flint wheel.

SO THAT'S WHY HE WEARS IT

For the first five years that The Lone Ranger was on the radio, the series made no attempt to explain his true identity, or why he wore a mask. It wasn't until the first movie serial, produced by Republic Pictures in 1938, that fans finally learned who their hero was. According to the script, six Texas Rangers were ambushed by outlaws as they rode through a canyon. The only survivor, named John Reid, was found and nursed back to health by Tonto, an Indian whose life Reid had saved when they were younger ("You only ranger left," Tonto tells Reid after the attack. "You lone ranger.")

Reid's older brother Dan was one of the rangers killed in the ambush. Reid makes a mask out of fabric taken from his dead brother's vest and wears it to prevent the outlaws from realizing he is still alive. Then he and Tonto set out to bring the murderers to justice. The origin story was so popular that it was adopted by the radio show and subsequent films as well.

KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

The first person to play the Lone Ranger was George Seaton who left the show after three months. He was replaced by a radio actor named Earle Graser, who signed on in April 1933. Graser sounded like the Lone Ranger, but didn't look like him at all. He was short and fat, he couldn't ride a horse, and he didn't like guns, either -not exactly the kind of guy you'd want to send out on public appearances. So WXYZ gave that part of the job to the show's announcer, 6'3" Brace Beemer, a skilled rider who looked great on a horse and was good with guns. When Earle Graser died in a car accident in 1941 -"LONE RANGER DEAD, AUTO HIT TRAILER," read the headline in The New York Times- Beemer took over the voice job as well. He played the Lone Ranger for the rest of the radio show's run.

AS SEEN ON TV

But the actor who would become the most closely associated with the Lone Ranger in the public mind was former circus acrobat Clayton Moore. Moore played the Lone Ranger on TV from 1949 to 1952, and, after sitting out a season over a pay dispute, again from 1953 until the show's end in 1957.  Playing Tonto on the TV show was a Canadian Mohawk actor named Jay Silverheels (real name: Harold J. Smith. He got the nickname "Silverheels" years earlier, from his teammates on Canada's national lacrosse team, who were impressed with his speed and his shiny athletic shoes).

The Lone Ranger was the first Western produced for television and ABC-TV's first big hit. But Moore isn't the best-remembered Lone Ranger just because he played the character on TV. After the show ended in 1957, he continued to make personal appearances as the Lone Ranger for the next 40 years. And in all that time he never made a public appearance without wearing a mask… at least not until 1979. That's when the producers of the upcoming film The Legend of the Lone Ranger went to court to force him to give up the mask, out of fear that he would confuse moviegoers into thinking that he, not the much younger actor they'd hired, was starring in the upcoming film.

Big mistake: Moore gave up the mask, only to switch to oversize sunglasses that looked like a mask, and then gave one TV interview after another generating terrible publicity about the film. All those kids who grew up watching Clayton Moore as their Lone Ranger boycotted what might have been a sure moneymaker. Result: The film lost $11 million, and actor Klinton Spilsbury, who played the Lone Ranger, never worked in Hollywood again.

The Legend of The Lone Ranger

MISSING PERSONS

So how is it that a show that was so beloved for so long went absent save for occasional TV reruns for three decades? The fact that The Legend of the Lone Ranger bombed at the box office in 1981 certainly didn't help, but much of the trouble rests with Tonto. The character has not aged well. Even Jay Silverheels, who was popular in the role during the TV show's original run, came to be derided in later years as an "Uncle Tomahawk" for perpetuating negative Indian stereotypes.

When the 2013 Disney film The Lone Ranger was in the early stages of production in 2002, there was talk of tackling the issue by casting a woman as Tonto. Later it was decided that Tonto would be the lead character in the film, and Johnny Depp was cast in the role, with an actor named Armie Hammer playing the Lone Ranger. If the big screen reboots of Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man are any guide, this latest film won't be the last time that the story is freshened up and presented to a new generation of fans.



"The Lone Ranger will never die," Clayton Moore told an interviewer not long before his death in 1999. "It's Americana: the cowboy, the cattle drive, the sheriff, the fight for law, order, and justice -it's part of our history, and what that stands for can never be extinguished."

_________________________

This article is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Fully Loaded Bathroom Reader.

Get ready to be thoroughly entertained while occupied on the throne. Uncle John has ruled the world of information and humor for 25 years, and the anniversary edition is the Fully Loaded Bathroom Reader.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

Neatolinks: Hobbit Crafts and Hobo Nickels

Posted: 30 Dec 2013 04:00 AM PST

Fan Film Based On Tomb Raider Video Game Series - Croft

Posted: 30 Dec 2013 03:00 AM PST

(Video Link)

Ever since the first Tomb Raider video game debuted in 1996 people have been going gaga over the smart, sexy and totally badass adventurer named Lara Croft. She’s starred in over a dozen Tomb Raider titles since then, and become a true video game icon in a world sadly lacking in strong female characters.

There have even been a few feature films based on the video game franchise, but none of them have captured the dire circumstances Lara often finds herself in quite like this epic fan film by CanCinema entitled Croft. It’s full of gritty action scenes, beautiful scenery and, of course, Lara Croft kicking some serious tail. (NSFW due to violence)

Via Destructoid

100-year-old Negatives Discovered in Antarctic

Posted: 30 Dec 2013 02:00 AM PST

A stash of exposed but undeveloped film was found at an old supply depot in Antarctica. The depot had been built by the doomed Terre Nova expedition (1910-1913) and then restocked to be used by the Ross Sea Party who stocked supplies for Ernest Shackleton's 1914-1917 expedition, which never collected them. It is believed that the negatives were left by the Ross Sea Party, which was stranded when their ship blew out to sea in a blizzard. The 22 negatives have been carefully developed, and came out pretty clear, considering they've been frozen into a block of ice for a century! -via the Presurfer

(Image credit: The Antarctic Heritage Trust New Zealand)

How to Nail the Job Interview

Posted: 30 Dec 2013 01:00 AM PST

The job hunting process is salesmanship. The product that you’re selling is you. So you’ve got to stand out from everyone else in the pile of résumés on the hiring manager’s desk. The My Little Pony résumé got you the interview. Now you’ve got to close the deal at the job interview. As Zach Weinersmith of SMBC Comics advises, make sure that your interview is an unforgettable experience.

Compilation Of The Best News Bloopers Of 2013

Posted: 30 Dec 2013 12:00 AM PST

(Video Link)

Broadcast news is full of opportunities for anchor related errors, whether they misread the teleprompter, say something because they don’t realize the cameras are rolling, or have their on location report interrupted by a drunken idiot or some guy flashing his full moon.

It’s a wonder news broadcasts make it on the air at all, and when things inevitably do go wrong the internet is waiting to share these bloopers with the world. Here’s a compilation of the best news bloopers of 2013, which range from silly to ribald, honest mistakes to people acting downright dumb. (NSFW due to language)

Via Super Punch

The Mario Cat Climber

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 11:00 PM PST

While you might not see cats playing Nintendo all that often, there are still at least a few of them out there who are big fans of the old school gaming system. After all, we've already seen some great Super Mario cat hats and a Mario cat tree. Now you can even let your cat teleport from one place to another using a Mario Bros warp pipe cat climber. 

Or at least, you could if you follow some of the steps seen on this Imgur album by WesWoodward.

<i>The Lord of the Rings</i> Dining Room

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 10:00 PM PST

It's one ring to feed them all. This elegant, magnificently crafted dining room set of unknown provenance is a geek's dream. Here the Fellowship may gather to share beer and honeycakes before setting out on a quest--hopefully one using a simplified d20 system.

-via Technabob

Long Story Short - I Had to Write an Essay

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 09:00 PM PST

(YouTube link)

Anyone who's been to college can relate to what this poor guy goes through. You have to write an essay on some subject that would normally hold none of your interest at all, and time is a-wastin'. Or, to be more accurate, you are wasting time. I've often said that if it weren't for the last minute, I'd never get anything done. At the same time, I'm trying to keep my kids from falling into the same habits because you never know what that last minute will be like! This video is part of a series called Long Story Short. -via Daily Picks and Flicks

It's Not Just A Cheesecake, It's A Mac and Cheese Cheesecake

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 08:00 PM PST

Here at Neatorama, we pretty much love anything with cheese -particularly of the macaroni-and variety. This Macaroni and Cheese Cheesecake by The Food In My Beard is no exception. It swaps out the sweet graham cracker crust and sugary filling of traditional cheesecake for delicious bread crumbs and savory cheeses like cheddar. It still has cream cheese to give it that rich, thick filling you'd expect from a cheesecake, but other than that, it's pretty much nothing like what you'd expect. 

Just imagine bringing this masterpiece out at a brunch and seeing the surprise on your guests' faces.

Via Foodbeast

A New Anti-Drunk Driving PSA Starring Robocop

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 07:00 PM PST

(Video Link)

It’s common knowledge that you shouldn’t drive drunk, because bad things can happen to you and your loved ones when a boozy driver gets behind the wheel. We’ve all seen the ads warning us that the cops are watching, waiting to arrest drunk drivers, but they’re generally not very effective.

Those who don’t see it as a big deal keep on driving drunk, but they would think twice if they knew Robocop might be the officer pulling them over. Robocop doesn’t have compassion for criminals, and he can call in ED-209 for backup if the drunk driver in question starts acting belligerently. Do yourself, and the ones you love, a favor- don’t drink and drive this New Years Eve, and thank you for your cooperation.

Via Topless Robot

Raccoon Kid's Animal Hat

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 06:00 PM PST

Raccoon Kid's Animal Hat

Are you looking for the perfect winter hat for the wild animal in your life? Get them the Raccoon Kid's Animal Hat from the NeatoShop. This adorable hat looks like your favorite bandit-masked mammal. 

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more great Winterwear. 

Link

Should Mattel Make a Plus Size Barbie?

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 06:00 PM PST

The Facebook group Plus Size Modeling put up a simple post that has gone wildly viral. Should toy companies make fashion dolls that reflect the body shapes of curvier women?

Keep in mind that if Barbie were scaled up to human size, she'd be 5'9", weigh 110 pounds, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist and 33" hips. Her shoe size would be 3. If Barbie looked like the typical 19-year old American, she'd look this. But what if she looked like someone more rubenesque?

-via Ace of Spades HQ

POLL: Should Mattel make a plus size Barbie doll?

  • Yes, because it would reflect reality.
  • No, because it would reflect reality.

"Felony Stupid"

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 05:00 PM PST

Four armed men entered a house in the Lincoln Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles Saturday night. The resident, who was home alone, saw them on a security feed and called police before he was confronted by the invaders. As police surrounded the house, two of the suspects fled, while the remaining two came up with an ingenious scheme: they asked the resident to tie them up, and identify them to the police as fellow victims. The resident agreed, tied them up, and then went to tell the police was happened. Police waited to see what the two would do. Officer Norma Eisenman of the LAPD told the story.

“They came out, still tied up, thinking that we were going to believe they were victims also,” Eisenman said. “That’s what you call felony stupid.”
 

They were promptly arrested. Officers soon found the two men who had fled the scene as well.  -via reddit

(Image source: The Dragnet Style Files)

Surreal Paintings Inspired By Vintage Vacation Photos

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 04:00 PM PST

Drawing influence from classic photographs, surrealism and sheer lunacy, artist Paco Pomet paints scenes of dreamlike imagery with an old school appeal. He integrates vintage vacation photos, and other old timey elements, into his oil paintings in a most surreal fashion- turning Dustbowl families into canine packs, making arms and legs elastic in a ridiculous way, and generally messing around with the idea of alternate realities.

Paco’s paintings definitely have a sense of humor about them, and yet they’re staged in such a way that the viewer can imagine the scene actually taking place in some strange alternate version of our past.

Via Colossal

Dogs Trying to Catch Bubbles

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 03:00 PM PST

(YouTube link)

Dogs love soap bubbles. Since soap bubbles don't have a natural analog, like how a red dot reminds a cat of moving prey, you have to wonder what's going through a dog's mind when he sees bubbles. Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta save my family from these alien invaders! These Frisbees are moving too slowly! Look at all the tennis balls! Why do they keep disappearing? Maybe I'm too slow. Gotta catch 'em all! -via Tastefully Offensive 

Imagining New Actors In Superhero Movies

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 02:00 PM PST

I have to preface this by saying that I absolutely loved Heath Ledger's Joker and I don't think anyone could have done it better -even an amazing actor like Benedict Cumberbatch. Even so, it's sure fun to imagine how different the film would have been with him as Batman's nemesis.

On the other hand, I would pay money in a second to go see Bruce Lee as Spider-Man. These fantastic "what if" artworks are from the mind of artist Alex Tuis and they are all worth a look, even for the ones that make you thank heaven they weren't cast in that role.

Via io9

Side By Side Comparison Of Traditional Film Versus Digital Imaging

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 01:00 PM PST

(Video Link)

Ever since digital technology took over for those sprocket holed strips of film photographers once knew and loved people have been asking themselves the same question- which one looks better?

At first film still stood a chance, since digital imaging technology couldn’t produce images with the clarity of most films, but now that we’re in the double digit megapixel range, and images both moving and still are striving to become more hi def, digital imaging seems to be taking the lead.

Here’s a side by side comparative video by Joey Shanks that attempts to put the whole debate to bed by displaying images from both mediums in a way which should result in a grand prize winner. Who wins the grand prize? Watch the video and find out!

Via Laughing Squid

The 2013 National Geographic Photography Contest Winners

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 12:00 PM PST

National Geographic presents the winners of its 2013 photo contest. There were over 7,000 entries from more than 150 countries. Of those, this picture of a polar bear rising in the frigid waters of the Arctic by Paul Souders took the Grand Prize. From a short interview with Souders:

The bear swam up to the iceberg, ducked under and stayed underwater for several seconds as I moved my zodiac into position and then held out the camera on a six-foot boom near the entrance. I didn’t fire until she came up to breathe and take a look at me, and I kept firing the shutter as she submerged again. She hung there, just below the surface, watching me, then came up for another breath before swimming away. I couldn’t see her from where I sat in my small zodiac boat; I was shooting blind with the wide angle. I sensed it was a unique situation, but the first thought in my mind was that I really didn’t want to screw up. I’d already dunked the remote radio trigger and camera into the salt water, and had to jury rig a replacement cable by chewing off the copper wires and hand-splicing it together. I don’t know how, but somehow it worked.

There are galleries full of category winners and finalists to look through as well. 

Who Is the Only Person to Be Elected Governor of 2 Different US States?

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 10:00 AM PST

It's Sam Houston (1793-1863), a man who lived an extraordinary, wide-ranging life. He was, among other accomplishments, governor of both Tennessee and Texas.

Houston rose from humble origins in Virginia. During his youth, he lived for several years among the Cherokee and was adopted into that tribe. This experience gave him a lifelong sympathy for Native Americans.

Houston won battlefield fame under General Andrew Jackson during the War of 1812. Cultivated by Jackson, Houston rose in Tennessee politics, serving in the House of Representatives before he was elected Governor of Tennessee in 1827.

Two years later, Houston's marriage collapsed. The public scandal forced him to resign. By 1833, Houston had moved Texas in the hope of a fresh start.

(Painting of the Battle of San Jacinto by Henry Arthur McArdle)

He participated in the Texas Revolution, serving as a major general of the Texian Army. He led the Texans to victory at the decisive Battle of San Jacinto in 1835.

Texas gave the fallen Sam Houston exactly what he wanted: a new start to his life. In 1836, the newly independent Republic of Texas elected him President. He served two non-consecutive terms in that office. When the United States annexed Texas, Houston represented the state in the United States Senate.

In 1859, he was elected Governor of Texas. It was a time in which many Southern leaders were preparing for what they saw as an inevitable civil war in order to preserve slavery.

Houston defended slavery, but adamantly opposed the secession. He warned his fellow Southerners that the North would win and destroy the South in the process:

Some of you laugh to scorn the idea of bloodshed as the result of secession. But let me tell you what is coming. Your fathers and husbands, your sons and brothers, will be herded at the point of the bayonet. You may, after the sacrifice of countless millions of treasure and hundreds of thousands of lives, as a bare possibility, win Southern independence, if God be not against you, but I doubt it. I tell you that, while I believe with you the doctrine of state rights, the North is determined to preserve the Union. They are not a fiery, impulsive people as you are, for they live in colder climates. But when they begin to move in a given direction, they move with the steady momentum of a mighty avalanche. My fear is, they will overwhelm the South.

(Map via the US National Park Service)

Nonetheless, after a special convention followed by a popular referendum, Texas seceded from the union on March 2, 1861. Houston refused to recognize the act and take an oath of loyalty to the Confederacy:

Fellow-Citizens, in the name of your rights and liberties, which I believe have been trampled upon, I refuse to take this oath. In the name of the nationality of Texas, I refuse to take this oath. In the name of the Constitution of Texas, which has been trampled upon, I refuse to take this oath. In the name of my own conscience and manhood, which this Convention would degrade by dragging me before it, to pander to the malice of my enemies…I refuse to take this oath.

I deny the power of this Convention to speak for Texas…I protest in the name of the people of Texas against all the acts and doings of this Convention, and I declare them null and void!

But Sam Houston lacked the force to back up his declaration. On March 16, the Convention forced him out of office.

President Lincoln offered Houston the use of federal troops to put down the rebellion. But Houston preferred to avoid such a direct hand in bloodshed in his beloved Texas—the second state over which he was governor—and instead retired to a country home known as the Steamboat House. He died at the age of 70 in 1863, in the midst of the horrific Civil War that he predicted.

(Photo of the Steamboat House by Arturo Lee)

A Short Film About An Ugly Little Fish Named Harley

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 08:00 AM PST

(Video Link)

Ever since Pixar’s CG animated film Finding Nemo came out everyone expects fishy main characters to look all cartoony and adorable, but this short film entitled Harley shows us that little fishy heroes come in all shapes and sizes, some more hideous to look at than others.

Harley is the name of a poor little bug eyed fish that just can’t seem to find his forever home, and everyone who buys him from the pet store inevitably returns him claiming he’s damaged goods. Poor little Harley, even though he’s CGI he still has feelings, and emotes them quite well in this live action short film by Tom Teller.

Via Geek Tyrant

Neatolinks: Geek Dancing and Amazing Cosplay

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 06:00 AM PST
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