Neatorama

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• Super Minyan - Bananas Really Are A Superfood!
• The Birth of “Strapless Evening Gown”
• Store Owner Fights off Sword-Wielding Robber with Bigger Sword
• Answering Email with “I Love You”
• What Time Do You See in the Rorschach Clock?
• Fascinating Grammatical Conundrum
• Did You Win This Tokyoflash Watch?
• Newspaper Seeks Freelance Marijuana Critic
• Whimsical Faucet Designs for Every Home
• Supposedly Cute Movie Aliens That Were Actually Terrifying
• Sleepy Hamster Doesn't Want to Get out of His Bed
• Fat Antihero - Jiggly Wiggly Jokers From Another Timey Wimey
• The Vintage Creepiness Of The Beautiful Eyes Contest
• 15 Pieces of Furniture That Look Like Delicious Food
• The Science of Melting Cheese
• <i>The Simpsons</i> Kitchen Turned into Reality
• Retirement Party for Ship's Cat
• The Swiss Army Barbie
• Legend Of Zelda As A Western - Hang 'Em Hyrule
• Man Tries to Rob a Bank with a Drawing of a Gun
• Competent Groomsmen Dance
• The Elegance of Skeletor's Lair
• Pipboys - They're SPECIAL!
• The San Francisco Giants Recreate The Full House Opening Credits
• Whodunit: The Penguin House Murder
• The Owl Is Calm. Trust Us.
• Life's A Beach When You're Wearing One Of These 30 Summer T-Shirts
• Black Cat Appreciation Day
• 10 Awesomely Cool Clock Designs
• Benson's Bubblers

Super Minyan - Bananas Really Are A Superfood! Posted: 18 Aug 2015 05:00 AM PDT Super Minyan by Ben Laverock The Minions had always suspected they were a special breed, and not just because of their pill shaped bodies, yellow skin or seeming indestructibility. They all knew deep inside that a mighty Minion would come along one day and unlock the over 9000 banana power potential hidden deep inside their DNA. Along came young Gokunana, a minion with the heart of a dragon and spiky hair to match. He had a magic yellow ball in his possession, and spoke of a mighty race from another planet called the Minyans... Power up your geeky wardrobe with this Super Minyan t-shirt by Ben Laverock, it's one electrifying way to show your love of DBZ and those despicable Minions at the same time! Visit Ben Laverock's Facebook fan page, Instagram and Twitter, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more mighty geeky designs: Shiny New Trooper Helmet Super Squid Sushi Dark Shadow Hunter Broken Phantom Mask View more designs by Ben Laverock | More Cartoon T-shirts | New T-Shirts Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

The Birth of “Strapless Evening Gown” Posted: 18 Aug 2015 05:00 AM PDT The following article is from The Annals of Improbable Research. by Charles Seim El Cerrito, California [Editor’s note: This was written in February 2007, a few days after Charles Seim gave his first public lecture about Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown.] I wrote “Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown” in my senior year in Civil Engineering at the University of California, Berkeley. At the time I was the Associate Editor of the Cal Engineer, a monthly magazine produced by students in the College of Engineering. The editor of the Cal Engineer had seen a short article in an engineering magazine from another university on the topic and he showed it to me, asking if I could write a better essay. I replied, “Sure I can!” The Research I spent many more hours developing the engineering (it is a legitimate analysis) and writing the article than I ever dreamed it would take; the writing of the article definitely cut into my homework time (engineering students at that time were given 4 to 5 hours of homework every night!). When the Cal Engineer published my essay, that issue sold out immediately! The essay was the talk of the engineering campus, and every one seemed to appreciate and enjoy the article. During the time I was writing, I kept wondering if the article was too risqué. By today’s standards, it is merely “lukewarm” and doesn’t even come close to being “risqué.” How times have changed in 55 years! Technical drawings from a 1950 patent for a strapless evening gown. A Stressed Analyst of a Strapless Evening Gown Near the close of my senior year, I was feeling very cocky. I had made it all the way through my other exams and through all the homework, so (I thought) I must know every thing about Engineering! Besides, I had even written a successfully-received story about the lack of straps on a garment! In the next to last meeting of my four-hour long, weekly Statics of Structures class, the professor told the class to be sure to bring slide rules to the last class because he was going to give us one last exam. I thought he was joking—give one more test on the last day of our last class as an undergraduate! But I took my slide rule to that last class, just in case. My jaw dropped a foot when the professor walked into the room carrying a stack of papers that could only be—another test! So he hadn’t been joking, after all! I was sitting by a window that overlooked the campanile (a phallic symbol standing at the center of the campus). The campanile had a large clock on each of its four faces and I could see one face very clearly from my perch on the second floor. (Image credit: Znode) The professor passed out the test and stated in a very serious tone that he believed no Senior Engineering student should graduate from the Berkeley campus without a thorough understanding of the theory of the Statics of Structures—and he obviously meant exactly that! I opened the test and found six problems, that the professor had assured the class were simple, on the fundamentals of statics. I could not figure out solutions to any of them! Damn the “Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown” and the study time I had wasted in writing that essay! I was struck by the irony that the first title I had given to the essay was “The Static Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown.” I looked at the campanile clock—it was then 1:30 p.m. and I had three and a half hours to go! I frantically searched for one problem that I could at least start to solve. I was petrified with fear. Damn that strapless evening gown essay and damn me for wasting my study time on writing the evil thing! I thumbed through my test pages so many tines that the papers were crinkled! Why can’t I find a starting point? Damn that strapless evening gown! The clock kept moving—2 p.m., 3 p.m.! Damn that gown! Because of that gown, I was going to flunk out of school in my last year! Almost every one else had finished and left. One hour and three students remained—at least I wasn’t the only student still there! I turned the pages one more, desperate time, and then I saw it! I saw the start of a solution to one problem! I finished that page and turned to the next page; again, I saw another solution! I worked my slide rule back and forth. The clock said 3:30, but I was moving and my slide rule was going! I turned to the next page and another solution popped out, then another! At 4:45 pm, exhausted, and now blessing the Goddess of the Gown, I smugly handed my paper to my professor! I now wish to convey my profound respect for this professor, widely known for his contributions to engineering, and who was an excellent teacher and a mentor to me; and I passed. Recurrences of the Analysis The essay was first published in the Cal Engineer in 1952 and then appeared in a 1963 as the title essay of a book of “Essays for a Scientific Age” published by Prentice Hall, Inc. It reappeared in 1969 in an Anchor Book Edition and again in 1987 by Prentice Hall, Inc., both in paperback editions. From Busts to Bridges Many good things have happened to me in the 55 intervening years. I was hired by Caltrans to work on the design and construction of several state-owned toll bridges. Later, I was invited to assume a position at T.Y. Lin International under the personal guidance of Prof. T.Y. Lin (or TY as he preferred to be addressed) who was my professor in several engineering courses at Berkeley. I have worked on bridges throughout the United States and South America. For the last ten years, I have worked on a number of bridge projects in Asia. Along the way, I bumped into many friends and engineers who have asked me about the Strapless Evening Gown essay; one even characterized it as the “The Gownless Evening Strap.” I would like to be recognized for my work in bridge engineering but I am also pleased to be known as the author of the SAOASEG! _____________________ The article above is republished with permission from the March-April 2007issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift! Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.

Store Owner Fights off Sword-Wielding Robber with Bigger Sword Posted: 18 Aug 2015 04:00 AM PDT (Photo: NBC News) That little knife isn't a sword. Now this scimitar-that's a sword! Two masked robbers entered a convenience store in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. One brandished a sword at the owner and demanded money. It was a formidable weapon. But it was still an inadequate sword for the task. The store owner responded by whipping out his scimitar and chasing the pair out of his store. The robbers dropped all of their loot and fled. You can watch the hilarious security footage here. -via Dave Barry

Answering Email with “I Love You” Posted: 18 Aug 2015 03:00 AM PDT Like anyone who writes for the internet, Ralph Jones receives a lot of email from public relations people. On a lark, he decided to answer those messages saying “I love you” for a month. Most of the time it was in the sign-off, but sometimes it would even be in the body of the email. Some ignored it, some stopped contacting him, but a few responded in kind. Those were either folks who took it as a mistake, a friendly (if strange) custom, or as the joke it was intended. One played along for quite some time, giving us a wonderful string of emails you can read at Hexjam. Bonus (or warning): sex toys, with an explanation for the blue one. -via Marilyn Bellamy

What Time Do You See in the Rorschach Clock? Posted: 18 Aug 2015 02:00 AM PDT This is Ferrolic--a clock displays the time by manipulating magnetic fluids. The figures are somewhat vague and soft, like the inkblots of Hermann Rorschach's famous psychological test. Appropriately, Zelf Koelman of the Eindhoven University of Technology designed the clock to be adjustable by the user: The software behind these electromagnets, and thus the shapes and information displayed, can be edited. Ferrolic is controlled by an intelligent internal system that is accessible trough a web-browser. In this way users can assign “the creatures” to display time, text, shapes and transitions. Experienced users can create animations from their own custom shapes. -via Fast Co Design

Fascinating Grammatical Conundrum Posted: 18 Aug 2015 01:00 AM PDT Is “data” singular or plural? That’s a word that sounds wrong when you use it correctly. It is supposed to be plural, with the singular being datum. I try to avoid writing “data is” or “data are,” but other phrases bring up the same question. “The data tells us” should really be “The data tell us,” but that just sounds odd in English. This is the latest from Jorge Cham at PHD Comics. Oh, by the way, one data point is a datum.

Did You Win This Tokyoflash Watch? Posted: 18 Aug 2015 12:00 AM PDT The Real Platform by Tinkerpen Fight Like a Girl by Doodle-Heads Attack on Titan Bauklotze by Coconut_Design Recently, we held two giveaways for Neatorama readers and NeatoMail subscribers. Here are the winners, as picked by the random number generator over at Random.org. First, there was the NeatoShop August Back to School T-Shirt Giveaway. Congratulations to JanetP who won The Real Platform T-shirt by Tinkerpen, luckylooloo who won Attack on Titan Bauklotze by Coconut_Design, and Catherine T. who won Fight Like a Girl by Doodle-Heads. Mini Theory by Donnie PhD in Shopping by Boggs Nicolas Bender UFO by Firebeard Then, we've got our super neat Tokyoflash Treasure Hunt (answer page here). Congratulations to PinoyEggHead who won the Mini Theory T-Shirt by Donnie, gracieog who won PhD in Shopping T-Shirt by Boggs Nicolas, and Casey LaCaze who won Bender UFO by Firebeard. Tokyoflash's Kisai Blade Wood Link LED Watch And (drum roll, please!) the grand prize winner is Jason Castick who won the Kisai Blade Wood Link LED Watch courtesy of our pal Tokyoflash. Congrats, Jason! We continue to have awesome giveaways exclusive to NeatoMail subscribers. Join in on the fun by entering your email address below (We won't disclose your email info to anyone - we hate spam ourselves!)

Newspaper Seeks Freelance Marijuana Critic Posted: 17 Aug 2015 11:00 PM PDT A couple of newspapers in Colorado already have marijuana reviews. Now a newspaper in Oregon is launching a column to review strains of marijuana and other cannabis products and to track pot trends. The Oregonian/OregonLive is looking for a marijuana critique to write the reviews. The candidate should be an experienced cannabis consumer with deep knowledge about the variety of strains and products available on the Oregon market. The items would appear 2-4 times a month on OregonLive and/or The Oregonian. Oh yeah, and the reviewer has to be a medical marijuana patient, because that's the only way you can legally purchase it in Oregon until October first. Otherwise, it would be assumed that the writer is breaking the law to get the experience required. Find out how to apply at Oregon Live. -via Time (Image credit: Bogdan)

Whimsical Faucet Designs for Every Home Posted: 17 Aug 2015 10:00 PM PDT Kakudai is a plumbing supply company in Osaka, Japan. Its vast catalog of products include some funny faucet designs that would be ideal for quirky homeowners. Spoon & Tamago has a selection of the best. My favorite among them is this teapot design that would be great for filling your own kettle. -via My Modern Met

Supposedly Cute Movie Aliens That Were Actually Terrifying Posted: 17 Aug 2015 09:00 PM PDT Early movie aliens were strange beings from another planet who mankind learned to fear, but somewhere along the way movie aliens became cute (albeit odd looking) visitors who came to teach us lessons about ourselves. E.T. is one of the best known movie aliens, but where E.T. (arguably) succeeded in being more cute than creepy others missed the mark by an Endorian mile. Remember that E.T. ripoff sponsored by McDonald’s called Mac and Me? That alien's stupid face haunted me after I took my little sister to see that movie in the theater, and then my sis had a hard time sleeping because she thought Mac was in her closet! Check out this totally classic io9 article from a few years back about 12 Aliens That Were Supposed To Be Cute But Are Actually Creepy and see if you agree with their choices.

Sleepy Hamster Doesn't Want to Get out of His Bed Posted: 17 Aug 2015 08:00 PM PDT It's time to wake up, furry friend! Well, I don't blame him a bit for staying in bed. He's got a perfect snoozing spot. It's a proper futon with a mattress, pillow, sheet, and blanket. Rocket News 24 tells us about Maru, a hamster owned by Japanese twitter user @tibi241. He's content to sleep in and let the world go by.

Fat Antihero - Jiggly Wiggly Jokers From Another Timey Wimey Posted: 17 Aug 2015 07:00 PM PDT Fat Antihero by Gooze The adipose were bad enough when they were running around trying to fatten everyone up, but once they started watching those Batguy movies they became a pack of jiggly jokers! They kept talking about wanting to watch the world burn in the dark of knight, but little did they know their fat little bodies are super susceptible to heat, and any change in temperature would reduce them to a puddle of goo. So, in an attempt to dissuade the adipose anarchists, The Doctor let them watch those Minion movies everybody loves, and man did he ever live to regret that decision! Fatten up your geeky wardrobe with this Fat Antihero t-shirt by Gooze, it's the funny way to show you're a fan of the man in the batcowl and the time lord with the blue police box! Visit Gooze's Facebook fan page and official website, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more action packed designs: Zero Is The Mark Time-Bot Bacon Avenger Time And Space Are A Mystery View more designs by Gooze | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

The Vintage Creepiness Of The Beautiful Eyes Contest Posted: 17 Aug 2015 07:00 PM PDT The Beautiful Eyes contest was held at a British holiday camp in 1958, and contestants were to be judged solely on their eyes…so their faces were covered with ash masks. This meant that a girl who “isn’t necessarily the pin-up type” could win the beauty contest based solely on her pretty eyes, ocular beauty which was judged by a creep who handles each girl’s head like he’s examining a melon for ripeness. (YouTube Link) That poor nineteen-year-old who was forced to kiss the judge was clearly the big loser of the day, but she made all the other girls feel like winners for not having to endure such an atrocity! -Via Dangerous Minds

15 Pieces of Furniture That Look Like Delicious Food Posted: 17 Aug 2015 06:00 PM PDT You'll have to warn your guests before someone ends up with a mouthful of foam. You certainly can't blame them, though. These stools look delicious! Boggy Chan's design makes them appear like massive, meal-sized cupcakes. They're 1 of 15 pieces of tasty-looking furniture rounded up by Home Crux, including a banana chair, a chocolate bar sofa, and a pizza sleeping bag.

The Science of Melting Cheese Posted: 17 Aug 2015 05:00 PM PDT Cheese straight from the refrigerator is pretty good, but cheese melted over a hamburger, hot dog, pizza, or inside a grilled cheese is awesome. That is, if it melts correctly. Some cheeses just don’t, or the results aren’t what you expected. Serious Eats explains melting cheese in detail, starting with the chemical bonds that make cheese what it is, followed by the chemistry of cheese falling apart in your favorite recipe.   Technically speaking, cheese is an emulsion of dairy fat and water, held together by a network of proteins. In cooler temperatures, that dairy fat remains a solid; let it warm to around 90°F and the fat reaches a liquid state and the cheese becomes more pliable—you may even notice some cheeses begin to bead with "sweat" if they're left out at room temperature. Raise the temperature by another 40 to 90 degrees and all the bonds that joined your caseins together start to break, allowing the entire protein structure to sag and stretch into an increasingly loosey goosey, lava-like puddle. What determines a good melting cheese from a bad one has a lot to do with how well it can maintain its emulsion when that protein network begins to collapse, which in turn has to do with the ratio of water to fat, as well as the strength of that protein network. The easiest way to make sure your cheese melts perfectly is to select the right cheese. But there are ways to make some poorly-melting cheeses work for you, too. When you understand how it all works, you can go crazy creating your own cheese recipes.  -via the Presurfer (Image credit: Vicky Wasik)

<i>The Simpsons</i> Kitchen Turned into Reality Posted: 17 Aug 2015 04:00 PM PDT (Image: Fox) The kitchen at 742 Evergreen Terrace is one of the most recognizable in all of television. Joe Hamilton and Marcia Andreychuk of Calgary, Alberta are making that cartoon room real. They're remodeling their own kitchen, which was built in the 1950s, into a replica of that of the Simpsons' house. With blue countertops, a green stove, and corncob curtains, it's shaping into a nearly perfect replica. (Photo: Danielle Nerman/CBC) The CBC talked to the couple about their project: After that, she went searching online for corn cob-patterned fabric for the curtains. She lucked out and found the perfect match and sewed them herself. Pulling them shut to show off their full effect, Hamilton proudly admits they're "tacky." Then he spews out some Simpsons 101 — that the cartoon family never actually closes their kitchen curtains. […] The couple is saving up to buy new "retro-inspired" granny-apple green appliances.​ In the meantime, they're covering their countertops, cabinets, washer/dryer, fridge and stove with colourful contact paper, which is similar to shelf liner. After that, Andreychuk jokes they're going to transform their basement into Moe's Tavern. (Video Link) -via The Mary Sue

Retirement Party for Ship's Cat Posted: 17 Aug 2015 03:00 PM PDT The Maritime Museum of the Atlantic in Haifax, Nova Scotia, is throwing a retirement party for a cat. But this isn’t just any cat. Rodent Control Officer Erik the Red has been serving faithfully aboard the CSS Acadia since 1998. "He came aboard as a stowaway," said Steven Read, shipkeeper for CSS Acadia. The 102-year-old ship is permanently moored outside the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic in Halifax. While it doesn't leave the shore, it has the same problem with rodent visitors as many ships. Erik's passion for the hunt was perfectly timed. His arrival was around the same time a building was being torn down near the ship. Read says there was a surge in the number of field mice and rats that jumped on board, but they quickly learned their mistake. Erik is very popular with the crew of the Acadia and the museum staff as well as visitors. But at age 18, he has trouble with winters aboard ship. In retirement, he will live further inland at Read’s home. If you can attend the party, all the particulars are posted at Facebook. -via Arbroath (Image credit: Maritime Museum of the Atlantic)

The Swiss Army Barbie Posted: 17 Aug 2015 02:00 PM PDT Once again, a toy company is giving young girls unrealistic body expectations. This time, though, they're useful. The Swiss Army Barbie has everything a girl needs: a knife, two saw blades, scissors, a bottle opener, a can opener, and a flathead screwdriver. When you send your child out into the world to rough it, make sure that she's equipped with the necessary tools. Mike Warren of Instructables shows us how with his latest invention. -via Dave Barry

Legend Of Zelda As A Western - Hang 'Em Hyrule Posted: 17 Aug 2015 01:00 PM PDT If asked which movie genre a Legend Of Zelda adaptation belongs in most people would say fantasy, but you’d be surprised how well Link’s adventures would work as a Spaghetti Western! The creative video minds at Beat Down Boogie made this cinematic short film called “Hang ‘Em Hyrule”, where Zelda proves she don't need savin' and Ganon shows he ain't done misbehavin'. (YouTube Link) It’s equal parts ode to Spaghetti Western showdowns and cool period setting where Link and Zelda can prove they’re legends in a whole new way. -Via Gamma Squad

Man Tries to Rob a Bank with a Drawing of a Gun Posted: 17 Aug 2015 12:00 PM PDT (Image: Warner Bros., "Hare Trigger.") Radio Poland reports that on August 11, a British man walked into a bank in Warsaw with a drawing of a gun. He presented it to a teller. Then he showed her a second sheet of paper on which was written in broken Polish a demand for money. It said: “This is a robbery I have a gun give me all the money.” The woman calmly told the man to wait at the back of the queue, and the Briton duly obliged. In the meantime, the cashier called the police and the would be assailant was arrested shortly thereafter. -via Nothing to Do with Aborath

Competent Groomsmen Dance Posted: 17 Aug 2015 11:00 AM PDT This groom surprised his bride with a dance performance that including all the groomsmen. You've seen that sort of thing before, but this one is really quite good. (YouTube link) Okay, while the wedding and the surprise performance for the bride are real, the “surprise” quality of the dance is not. The groom and most of his groomsmen are professional dancers. As is the bride- she is a ballerina with the Richmond Ballet. You can tell which five of the guys are pros, and which four are not. I’m looking at the one with the beard. He did his best in an intimidating environment. -via Viral Viral Videos

The Elegance of Skeletor's Lair Posted: 17 Aug 2015 10:00 AM PDT In the original He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Skeletor lived in a dank and dreary base at Snake Mountain. It was a deeply unpleasant place. But that's a common experience. My first apartment was similarly small, bare, and located in a less that ideal neighborhood. It was hard to attract quality henchmen with it. Once he defeated He-Man and took Castle Grayskull, he turned it into an estate befitting his social rank and ideal for relaxation after long days spent in governance. But he never forgot his origins. From the Battle Cat-skin rug to the commissioned painting of the old place at Snake Mountain, Skeletor remained comfortable in his memories of where he came from. Join him for a glass of warm brandy. Artist Jason Edmiston has a gift for taking pop culture and adding a bit of humor. In the past, we've seen his images of Robocop as a cabbie and a hunting party from Planet of the Apes. He composed this painting for a limited edition print sold at the recent San Diego Comic Con. -via Nerd Bastards

Pipboys - They're SPECIAL! Posted: 17 Aug 2015 09:00 AM PDT Pipboys by In Stank We Trust They're the three best friends a vault dweller can have, but trying to keep them all happy is a quest all in itself! The Pip boys are there to guide you, to help you keep your karma balanced and show you how effective those abilities can be, but sometimes it feels like they're playing a gae all their own. Maybe there's some sort of corruption in their programming, or maybe there's no Pip boy at all, and seeing them is just a hallucinatory side effect of being exposed to nuclear fallout. Either way, once you see them it's too late to turn back, so you might as well down another Nuka Cola and set that plasma rifle to "goo". Add triple the post-apocalyptic fun to your geeky wardrobe with this Pipboys t-shirt by In Stank We Trust, it's way cooler than those "We Heart NCR" tees, and it'll help you keep your karma in check. Visit In Stank We Trust's Facebook fan page, Twitter and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more geek-tastic designs: OVER 9000!! Tokugawa Heavy (Outlines) Jagameister Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes View more designs by In Stank We Trust | More Video Game T-shirts | New T-Shirts Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

The San Francisco Giants Recreate The Full House Opening Credits Posted: 17 Aug 2015 09:00 AM PDT San Francisco is home to Fisherman’s Wharf, those cute cable cars, sourdough chowder bowls, the Golden Gate Bridge and, saving the best for last, the Tanner family from Full House. That’s it, that’s all there is in SF, the whole Bay Area actually, unless you're into sports. If you do watch the sporting stuff then you’re probably familiar with a certain team that won the 2014 World Series called the San Francisco Giants. The Giants are apparently big fans of SF’s most treasured TV family, so they decided to recreate the Full House opening credits as a team, to show their Friends Of Tanner Family pride. (YouTube Link) Oh, and they’re having a Full Clubhouse night on September 30th where they’ll be giving out snowglobes featuring the San Francisco townhouses seen in the Full House intro. Come to think of it, that’s probably why they made this video! -Via Esquire

Whodunit: The Penguin House Murder Posted: 17 Aug 2015 08:30 AM PDT The following is a Whodunit by Hy Conrad.  These mysteries are from The Little Giant® Book of Whodunits by Hy Conrad and Matt LaFleur. Can you solve the mystery before you read the solution? (Image credit: Flickr user Xa) At 10 A.M. exactly, the gates to the zoo were flung open. A handful of the early visitors headed directly for the penguin house. The kids raced in to get the best view of the glass-enclosed habitat and nearly stumbled over the corpse. It was Cheryl Hammaker, a zoo employee, dressed for work and wearing a plastic feeding apron. She'd been strangled. The medical examiner took the body's temperature, leading him to estimate that she'd been dead for well over 12 hours. "Makes sense," the zoo director said. "The penguins are fed three times a day: when the handlers get here at eight, then at noon, and finally around six, right after we close." He checked the victim's feeding apron, still filled with small fish. "That's probably when it happened," a detective agreed as he sniffed, smelling just the faintest fishy odor. "Right before last night's feeding." Cheryl had been a conscientious worker, arriving early and leaving late. She lived close to the zoo and kept to herself. "I'd just promoted her to department head," the director said. "With her own set of keys. Two other people were up for the job. They got pretty upset." One of the rejected employees was Sean. "I took yesterday off," Sean testified. "My church held an all-day retreat and we didn't get home until midnight. I went right to bed. I had to be here at work by eight." Juan, the other suspect, was found in the penguin food freezer, taking inventory of a fish delivery. "When I left last night, Cheryl was just filling up her apron for the last feeding. She told me I could go home. This morning Bert and I drove in together and went right to work in Reptile World—until we heard the news. Horrible!" The medical examiner walked past the body again, sniffed the air, then turned to the detective. "There's something odd here," he said. "We need to question one of our suspects more thoroughly." Whodunit? And what led the medical examiner to his suspicions? Show Answer If Cheryl's body had been lying around for 12 to 16 hours, the fish in her apron would have been giving off much more than just a faint fishy odor. They would have stunk. The medical examiner deduced that someone cooled the body artificially, trying to confuse him about the time of death. Cheryl must have been killed much later, perhaps just an hour or two ago. The killer then placed the body in the penguin food freezer until shortly before the zoo opened. The police should concentrate on the suspect who had an ironclad alibi last night, but no alibi this morning—Sean. The whodunit above was provided by American mystery fiction author Hy Conrad. In addition to his work in mystery and crime puzzles, Hy was also one of the original writers for the groundbreaking TV series Monk. Currently, Hy is working on mystery novel series "Abel Adventures" as well as the Monk series of novels, starting with Mr. Monk Helps Himself (published by Penguin, order from Amazon here) Check out Hy's official website and Facebook page - and stay tuned for more whodunits puzzlers on Neatorama from the master of whodunit mysteries himself!

The Owl Is Calm. Trust Us. Posted: 17 Aug 2015 08:00 AM PDT Nelly is an owl. Nelly has seen things. Nelly has seen terrible things. Nelly is calm. You must believe this to be true. Nelly appeared on an Australian TV news segment. A newscaster mentioned that she seemed very calm--right before she turned to the camera and revealed to millions of viewers a tiny glimpse into her inner horror. -via Gifsboom

Life's A Beach When You're Wearing One Of These 30 Summer T-Shirts Posted: 17 Aug 2015 07:30 AM PDT They keep saying summer is almost over, but if that's true then nobody told the sun because it's still hot as heck out there! There's still plenty of summertime fun left to enjoy, so why not slip on one of these red hot summer inspired NeatoShop t-shirts and hit the pool, spend the day at the beach, basically do whatever you do to beat that summertime heat! Summer usually creeps in quiet as a cat Hello Summer by Berserk7 But then things start to heat up and there's no denying the summer sun is in full effect Beach Please by Boggs Nicolas People start looking for any way to beat the heat Pocket Fish by Naolito And the beach becomes the place to go Nightwatch by Kinda Creative Everyone enjoys the beach their own way Amper-Sand by Amanda Flagg Some people like to hit the water and surf Surf Camp by JCMaziu Others enjoy getting a good tan Tatooine Tanning Hut by Warbucks Design Or playing a game of beach volleyball Pinkie Beach Soccer by Sa1amandra All while showing off their new summer style Sun Your Buns by Tom Bancroft There will be people boating Dangerous Waters by HandsOffMyDinosaur People talking about boating King Of The Orca by Ninjaink And those who find themselves face-to-face with a deadly oceanic predator Beach Closed by BazNet But don't worry, nature has a way of balancing things out Raiders Of The Left Shark by DeepFriedArt And even sharks can become food for a larger predator Sea-Rex Jurassic Jaws by Tabner's That's the beauty of the ocean, you never know what you're going to see under there Water Element by OfficeInk You might see starfish playing catch Can I Play Too? by Wirdou Or a water type Pokemon waiting to be set free Free Gyarados by Adho1982 And as long as you leave it like you found it the ocean is a great place to visit Choose Sea Life by Butcher Billy A magical world we've yet to fully explore Water Dancer by oakenspirit But even if you're afraid to go in the water there's still plenty to do on the beach Li'l Son On A Beach by Rob Condy Especially for sand enthusiasts I LOVE SAND by ALIENBIKER23 They know that a big ol' pile of wet sand can be loads of fun ARRAKIS SAND CASTLE BUILDING CO. by KARMADESIGNER But just like the ocean the beach should be left clean like it was before you arrived! Leftovers Of Summer by SteveOramA Not everyone is a fan of the beach Why Moon Hates The Beach by Mark Heath So if you're gonna make a mess maybe you should stick to the swimming pool Hulk SPLASH! by ClayGrahamArt Or shred it up on your skateboard! Adventure Island by Amanda Flagg When summer finally draws to a close we'll be left with nothing but our tan lines Superhero Tan Lines by Mike Jacobsen (Or massive sunburn, as the case may be) Red Hot by Jesse W. Campbell A tall tale about the one that got away The Big Catch by Xiaobaosg And fond memories to remind us of how much fun we had under the hot summer sun! Memories Live Forever by ivejustquitsmoking Send summer off in style with a fun and fantastic looking t-shirt from the NeatoShop, where summer is all year long because it's a state of mind! All NeatoShop sales support the indie artists who create the red hot designs we crave, so grab a NeatoShop t-shirt and add some awesomeness to your wardrobe!

Black Cat Appreciation Day Posted: 17 Aug 2015 07:00 AM PDT August 17th is Black Cat Appreciation Day! Black cats often get passed over for adoption, possibly because it’s hard to see their sweet expressions. I will have to give my cat Gogo some extra TLC which she is entitled to at 16 years old. (YouTube link) You are invited to post pictures of your black cat here in the comments, at the Black Cat Appreciation Page at Facebook, and at Furball Fables, the folks who made the above video.

10 Awesomely Cool Clock Designs Posted: 17 Aug 2015 06:00 AM PDT Clocks may have less relevance now that everyone is constantly glancing at their phones and cable boxes that have built-in time keepers, but that doesn't mean they aren't still useful -especially when it comes to adding a little style to your home. That's why we decided to round up some of the most beautiful, creative and just downright cool clocks ever in our newest Homes and Hues article. From clocks that look at you to those you can look through, these cool clocks are sure to make a statement even in an age where few people actually care to check the time anywhere but their phone screen. So don't miss our round up of great timepieces over at Homes and Hues: 10 Crazy Cool Clock Designs

Benson's Bubblers Posted: 17 Aug 2015 05:00 AM PDT The following is an article from the book Uncle John's Canoramic Bathroom Reader. (Image credit: Cacophony) Simon Benson has been dead for more than 70 years, but if you ever get the chance to visit the Pacific Northwest, you can still have a drink on him. WATERWORKS Very few big cities have public drinking fountains. One that does is Portland, Oregon. If you’ve ever walked around the downtown area, you’ve probably seen the many unique fountains that dot the city’s sidewalks. There are two varieties: a four-bowled version and a single-bowled version. Each four-bowled fountain has a stout cast-bronze trunk, somewhat reminiscent of a fire hydrant. From the top of the trunk, four thick arms (also bronze) sprout like the arms of a candelabra. Each arm curves upward and ends in a shiny brass bowl about 11 inches in diameter. From the center of each bowl is a spout, from which water gently bubbles, allowing any passerby— and three of his friends— to get a drink. (The single-bowl version is very similar, but simply has one bowl, rather than four.) These are Portland’s “Benson Bubblers,” named for Simon Benson, the man who donated them to the city in 1912. BUBBLER HISTORY Benson was born in Norway in 1851, emigrated to Wisconsin with his family in 1867, worked a series of odd jobs across the country, finally ending up in the logging business in Portland, Oregon, in the 1880s. There, over the next three decades, he became one of the wealthiest “timber barons” in the Northwest. In 1912 Benson, by this time one of Portland’s best-known civic leaders, donated $10,000 to the city (about $240,000 today) for the installation of 20 drinking fountains, or bubblers, around the city. (Drinking fountains are still known as “bubblers” in some parts of the U.S., especially around the Great Lakes.) Where did he get the idea to install public drinking fountains around the city? Nobody knows for sure, but several legends persist. One says Benson was inspired after seeing a young girl at a July 4th parade, crying because she couldn’t find a drink of water. Another is that Benson, a teetotaler, was tired of his loggers getting drunk in Portland’s saloons during lunchtime, so he had the fountains installed to give them a healthier drinking option. (That’s probably not true, but it is true that a drink from one of the fountains became known as a “Benson cocktail.”) (Image credit: Another Believer) MR. BUBBLER The first of the unique four-bowled bubblers (designed by the renowned Portland architect A. E. Doyle, dozens of whose buildings are on the National Register of Historic Places) was installed at the busy downtown intersection of Southwest Fifth Avenue and Washington Street, on June 18, 1912. The remaining 19 soon followed. Quickly known as “Benson Bubblers,” they were a big hit, and according to a July 1913 Oregonian newspaper article, the crowds that formed around the fountains— especially during hot weather— weren’t typical urban crowds: The fountains are whirlpools of democracy. Sometimes four distinct races may be seen drinking at the same time, and the “color line,” however well defined it may be at other places, recedes to the vanishing point on a hot afternoon at the corner of Sixth and Alder, Fifth and Washington, or any of the other 20 odd corners in the city where, night and day, the Benson fountains bubble their little song of welcome and generosity. TIME IN A BUBBLE Over the decades, the Benson Bubblers were neglected, some having one or more of their arms broken off, others simply removed to make room for new roads or other structures. Then, in the 1950s, a Portland longshoreman named Francis Murnane began a campaign to get the city to preserve the old fountains. “It is my belief,” he wrote to the city council in 1952, “that the Benson fountains belong to all the city and should be restored to their beauty and usefulness.” It took six years, but Murnane persisted, and the city finally responded in 1958, when efforts to repair and preserve the damaged bubblers finally began. And in the years that followed, the city even installed more fountains. (Many of these new bubblers were the same four-bowl design as the original, but others were made with a single bowl, and some people therefore do not consider them true Benson Bubblers.) (Image credit: Visitor7) Today there are 52 Benson fountains, and an additional 74 of the single-bowl variety, bubbling away on sidewalks all over downtown Portland. The Portland Water Bureau, which maintains the fountains (they clean each one twice a week), even publishes a brochure about them for tourists, with a regularly updated map showing where each of the bubblers is located so that you can take your friends and family on a guided (and refreshing!) Benson Bubbler tour someday. A FEW MORE DROPS • Benson Bubblers run from 5:30 a.m. until 11:30 p.m. every day, 365 days a year, except during especially cold or dry spells— and also when it’s very windy (so pedestrians don’t get sprayed with water). (Image credit: Steve Morgan) • Where does Benson Bubbler water come from? It comes directly from the Bull Run watershed, located 26 miles from Portland in Mt. Hood National Forest. • A Benson Bubbler sits on the grounds of the Maryhill Museum of Art— in Maryhill, Washington. Why there? According to the Portland Water Bureau, Sam Maryhill, the museum’s founder, was a friend of Simon Benson, and he simply asked Benson for one. • Only one other Benson Bubbler can be found outside Portland. It’s in Sapporo, Japan. (Sapporo is Portland’s Japanese sister city, and the fountain was presented to the city as a gift in 1965.) • All of the Benson Bubblers were cast at Portland foundries— except two, which were made in 1975 by engineering students at Benson Polytechnic High School (a Portland magnet school founded in 1915 with a $100,000 grant from Simon Benson). One of those bubblers still stands in front of the school. • When new bubblers began to be installed in the 1960s, some were slightly outside of Portland’s downtown district. This led Simon Benson’s heirs to request that the city restrict the location of new Benson Bubblers to a specific downtown area, “so as to not dilute their uniqueness.” The city agreed. The Simon Benson House in Portland. (Image credit: Visitor7) _______________________________ The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Canoramic Bathroom Reader. The latest annual edition of Uncle John’s wildly successful series features fascinating history, silly science, and obscure origins, plus fads, blunders, wordplay, quotes, and a few surprises Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

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