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2016/01/27

Neatorama

Neatorama


17 Texts from inside Your Womb

Posted: 27 Jan 2016 04:00 AM PST

Your baby hasn’t been born yet, but he already has a lot to talk about. And he has a phone. Morgan Shanahan of BuzzFeed composed 17 text messages that unborn babies would send if they could. From lived experience your child knows more about the internal workings of your body than anyone else. And he has no filter for his feedback.

The Chickening

Posted: 27 Jan 2016 03:00 AM PST

Nick DenBoer and Davy Force remixed the movie The Shining to include chickens. Lots of chickens. The entire movie is chicken-themed. On top of that, they threw in a lot more weirdness. Contains NSFW language.

(YouTube link)

How bizarre is it? The Chickening was selected to be shown at the 2016 Sundance Film Festival. It’s that weird. -via Tastefully Offensive

This Ship Looks Like a Swan

Posted: 27 Jan 2016 02:00 AM PST

(Photo: Ogiyoshisan)

Some people call Lake Yamanaka “Swan Lake.” This beautiful lake within sight of Mount Fuji in Japan is the home of many birds highly sought by birdwatchers, especially whooping swans. City dwellers in search of nature come here and ride on swan-shaped paddle boats or take the enormous swan-shaped excursion ship across. Or, if you’re a bit more daring, you can take an amphibious bus into the water. You can read more about the lake and its amenities at Atlas Obscura.

Faker

Posted: 27 Jan 2016 01:00 AM PST

We start out reading this comic believing that the baby is the one faking, He’s not really in distress; he just wants your attention. Then it becomes apparent that Dad remembers how to fake a really deep sleep. But Mom knows, too, and what to do about it. Mom doesn't fool around. You can laugh, if you’re far removed from those sleep-deprived days of caring for an infant. And there are a lot of women who remember crawling into the crib just to get a little alone time. This comic is from Lunarbaboon.

Baby Horse Knocked over By His Own Sneeze

Posted: 27 Jan 2016 12:00 AM PST


(Video Link)

The little newborn foal filmed by Sammi Hill experienced his first sneeze and went for a tumble. Either he’s a bit unsteady on his legs or he’s discovered a superpower. Get back up try again, little foal.

-via Tastefully Offensive

Seven Stories Stephen King Refuses To Publish

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 11:00 PM PST

Stephen King is the most successful, and one of the most prolific, horror writers of all time, and yet he'll readily admit when something he's written simply shouldn't be put into print.

You can't blame the guy for batting less than a thousand, it's honestly quite remarkable that Stephen King still has so many amazing stories in him considering he wrote his first novel The Aftermath when he was just 16 years old.

(Image Link)

The Aftermath tops the list of stories never to be published because King considers his first novel, which is about an apocalyptic survivor trying to sabotage a military force made up of aliens in disguise, a juvenile attempt at novel writing.

The manuscript rests under lock and key in the Fogler Archive at the University of Maine alongside a short story he helped his son Owen write called I Hate Mondays, which is, strangely enough, not about Garfield the cat:

I Hate Mondays, a short story about two misfits who are kidnapped by a goon named Doctor Mindbender and forced to give up the combination to a safe.

See the 7 Stories Stephen King Refuses To Publish at mental_floss

Please Don’t Actually Use the Snow Toilet

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 10:00 PM PST

I know: when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. But when the snow melts, someone will have to clean up your mess.

Twitter user @MagTecht_fuka spotted this snow sculpture in Saga Prefecture in southern Japan.

-via Brian Ashcraft

The Talented Musician Behind the Classic Series <i>Schoolhouse Rock</i>

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 09:00 PM PST


YouTube Link

Bob Dorough, now 92-years old, is a charismatic and talented musician who has performed with names such as Miles Davis. Yet perhaps Dorough is best known as the composer for many of the songs from Schoolhouse Rock!, the classic animated educational series that ran from 1973-1985.

Many of us fondly remember Schoolhouse Rock!, which provided lessons on everything from elementary math to the basics of English and government. The songs were so memorable and fun that some people remember them to this day. If you were ever a fan, refresh your memory below with a few of the series' "greatest hits." Via Laughing Squid
 


"Three is a Magic Number"
YouTube Link


"I'm Just a Bill"
YouTube Link


"The Preamble" 
YouTube Link


"Adverbs"
YouTube Link

Charles And Groot - Bad Luck Chuck

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 08:00 PM PST


Charles And Groot by Albo

Charlie got really excited when he found a groot growing in his garden, thinking he may finally have a guardian who can defend him against the evil Lucy Van Pelt, but instead he found the groot to be yet another annoyance in his life. The darn thing kept saying its own name over and over again, it laughed when Lucy pulled the football away from Chuck at the last minute, and it ate every kite young Mr. Brown tried to fly. In fact, the only thing Charlie found useful about having a plant from another galaxy in his garden is the fact that it scared the heck out of Snoopy, which made it good for a laugh!

This comically cool Charles And Groot t-shirt by Albo will cost you mere peanuts but it's so valuable some might even try to trade you an infinity gem or two for it!

Visit Albo's Facebook fan page, official website, Twitter and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more geek-tastic designs:

Allons-YHan Solo Shot FirstSome Days You Can't Get Rid Of A DroidFinn and Jake

View more designs by Albo | More Cartoon T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

Vegemite Cheesecake

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 08:00 PM PST

Ah, Vegemite! The yeast extract that is a popular food in Australia is less well-known in the United States. What does it taste like? Food blogger Ben Starr says that “a fingerful of Vegemite is like a meaty, salty punch in the face.”

So it would therefore make the ideal basis for a cheesecake. Chef Billy Law made one. He says that you shouldn’t judge it until you’ve tried it because “salt brings out the sweetness in food, and this works the same way: the salty Vegemite enhances the sweetness of the cheesecake.”

-via Lost at E Minor

RIP Abe Vigoda

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 07:00 PM PST

This time, it’s really happened. Abe Vigoda, the actor whose best known roles are that of Detective Phil Fish in the TV series Barney Miller and Tessio in the movie The Godfather, passed away in his sleep Tuesday morning. Vigoda was also famous for numerous untimely reports of his death

Mr. Vigoda’s days as a television star seemed to be behind him in 1982 when People magazine reported that he had died. Mr. Vigoda responded by placing an ad in Variety with a photo showing him sitting up in a coffin and holding a copy of the offending issue of the magazine.

His “death” became a running joke. “I have nothing to say about Abe,” Billy Crystal said at a roast of Rob Reiner at the Friars Club, where Mr. Vigoda was a regular. “I was always taught to speak well of the dead.”

There are several websites devoted to keeping Vigoda’s status accurate. Both AbeVigoda.com and Is Abe Vigoda Dead? have updated the actor’s status to deceased. Abe Vigoda was 94. -via Fark

100 More Amazing Bass Lines

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 06:00 PM PST

About a year and a half ago, bassist Davie504 gave us 100 Famous Bass Lines. Now he’s got 100 more songs for us- all in one medley. The songs are all labeled, and cover about 50 years of tunes you know and love.

(YouTube link)

Well, you might not know them all. I grooved along to the constant switch from familiar (over 20 years old) to the not-so-familiar (less than 20 years old). They’re all enjoyable, whether you know them by heart or not. -Thanks, Davide!

Style Your Hair to Look Like a Hat

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 05:00 PM PST

Cat Georgi is a hair dresser from Abkhazia. He’s overcome a brutal childhood devastated by the ethnic wars of the Caucasus region to become a fabulously successful hairdresser. Georgi can do anything with long hair, which is the marble from which he sculpts elaborate shapes. His works include this hairstyle that has a built-in hat. You can watch a brief video of its composition here.

-via Everlasting Blort

"So Australia" -- 2 Drunk Guys Stop Robbery by Snatching Keys from Getaway Car

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 04:00 PM PST


(Video Link)

CONTENT WARNING: NON-STOP FOUL LANGUAGE IN THE ABOVE VIDEO (BUT NOT BELOW)

James Ross-Munro and Kane Wiblen, who are very Australian, had been out drinking and partying most of the night. They decided to stop at an Oporto convenience store for some noodles. As they walked up, they saw two masked men leap out of a car and run into the store. Ross-Munro then opened the door of the getaway car and took the keys out of the ignition.

They caught the entire hilarious incident on camera. Their video (above) has gone viral and the pair have become celebrities. They then went on a morning news show and gave one of the most extraordinary interviews in journalism history:


(Video Link)

One reporter commented that, shirtless, Ross-Munro looked pretty muscular. Did he go to the gym? "Mate, I don’t go to the gym, haven’t been to the gym in years. The only gym I go to is Jim Beam, that’s about it."

Ross-Munro came away from the encounter unscathed except, News 9 (auto-start) notes, for his broken thong.

-via Lost at E Minor

The Wedding During a Blizzard

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 03:00 PM PST

Sarah and Tom selected their wedding date months ago: January 23rd, in New York City. The blizzard hit, busses and cabs stopped running, roads became impassable, several train lines were shut down, and Sarah’s meticulous plans for the big day underwent revisions on the fly. Luckily, she is no bridezilla, and went with the flow. She focused on the bright side, specifically, how everyone went above and beyond the call of duty to make it work. The bride’s sister Terri Pous gives us an account of the entire day.

Originally, Brooklyn Winery wasn’t going to open to guests until 5:30, just a half-hour before the wedding began. As soon as the transit shutdown was announced, the venue informed us that guests could show up whenever they wanted, however they wanted, and hang out, as long as they didn’t mind seeing everything get set up. (Spoiler: no one minded!) They also opened the bar early, set out charcuterie and other snacks for people to enjoy, and did it all without a trace of stress. I later found out that they were working with only half their staff, but no one could tell. Not only that, but several employees had walked to work in the morning and booked a nearby hotel for that night just in case they couldn’t get home. Professionalism!

The florist showed up to the venue, flowers in hand, by 1 p.m., and arranged the bouquets and centerpieces on site. Professionalism! A hairstylist trekked in from Long Island early, just in case. Professionalism! When the second makeup artist couldn’t make it into the city, one woman did 12 people’s makeup with extreme care and attention. Professionalism! The DJ had set up his equipment the night before, just to be on the safe side. Professionalism! The band hung out at the venue all day, all dressed up and ready to play. PROFESSIONALISM!

All in all, it was a lovely wedding, and one no one will forget if they were lucky enough to make it. Read how Sarah and everyone involved pulled together to make it happen at Buzzfeed. The flexible and innovative photographer Sean Kim took great pictures both in spite of and because of the weather.

(Image credit: Sean Gallery Photography)

Images From Inside The Wreckage Of The Costa Concordia Cruise Ship

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 02:00 PM PST

Taking a cruise is supposed to be a memorable experience, leaving the guests feeling like they got their money's worth as they floated along having fun and dancing their cares away.

However, those who were aboard the Costa Concordia in January, 2012 had no idea they were embarking on a nightmarish journey that would end with 32 lives lost when the Concordia wrecked off the coast of Isola del Giglio in Italy.

The wreckage was left to rot in Genoa, and incredibly German photographer Jonathan Danko Kielkowski found it unguarded and totally open for exploration when he arrived to snap some pics for his book Concordia:

“Against all odds, I find the shipwreck freely accessible – neither fences nor security personnel. Rather, the doors are open, lights are turned on, no man can be seen”.

Although the tragedy has forever marred the ship's reputation, at least we have Jonathan's photos to remind us how regal and beautiful the inside of the Costa Concordia once was.

See more Extraordinary Images Of The Costa Concordia Cruise Ship here

Who Can Drink in Parliament?

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 01:00 PM PST

(Photo: UK Parliament)

Put that snifter away! You’re not allowed to sip on whisky while sitting in the House of Commons. No one is—except for one person. It’s the Chancellor of the Exchequer and for a good reason.

Marcus Ethridge and Howard Handelman write in Politics in a Changing World that the Chancellor of the Exchequer is permitted a single drink when delivering the annual Budget Statement. I’m sure that he needs it.

-via Messy Nessy Chic

Ten Charts That Will Make You A Beef Expert

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 12:00 PM PST

(See full sized image here)

According to the Cattleman's Beef Board and National Cattleman's Beef Association Beef is "What's For Dinner", and whether you like it ground up, pan fried, grilled, broiled or tartare there's one thing you can count on- beef always tastes mighty beefy.

(Image Link)

But eating beef is just the beginning of the meat-stravaganza, because knowing how the cow became a bunch of different cuts in the butcher's case is just as important for the carne connoisseur as knowing how to cook your favorite cut.

(See full sized image here)

Lifehack has put together an incredibly informative collection of 10 Graphs To Make You A Beef Expert In 5 Minutes,where you can gather some tasty info and dazzle your fellow filet fans at the next BBQ!

Conan Goes to the Middle East

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 11:00 AM PST

Conan O’Brien recently got an invitation to travel to Qatar with First Lady Michelle Obama to entertain U.S. troops at Al Udeid Air Base. That’s all well and good, but for security reasons, they wouldn’t let Conan take video of any sort while they were traveling. That had to be difficult for a TV guy. So he had the story of the trip recreated in animation.

(YouTube link)

It was a blessing in disguise. The fact that there’s no actual video of the trip allowed Conan to embellish the tale just a little. As you’ll see, he took advantage of that opportunity, without blowing his budget. -via Tastefully Offensive     

Candy Cats Dozing under a Candy Kotatsu

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 10:00 AM PST

A kotatsu is a piece of furniture from Japan. It’s a table with a heater under the bottom and a blanket along the edges. You can sit at the table to warm yourself during chilly winter.

That’s what these cats doing. Caroline, a maker of candy cats whose work we’vefeaturedpreviously, made these adorable and edible kittens (translation).

During the winter, I would like to have a kotatsu, but one large enough to live in.

Veteran Plows Neighborhood with Wheelchair

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 09:00 AM PST

Justin Anderson is an Iraq War veteran who uses a wheelchair and is battling brain cancer. He has a badass all-terrain wheelchair donated by a veteran’s group. Anderson modified the chair by adding a snowplow blade! Now he can clear the snow from the sidewalks in his Bellevue, Nebraska, neighborhood to make walking to the nearby school safer and to save his neighbors the backbreaking chore of shoveling snow.  

(YouTube link)

WOWT caught up with Anderson as he plowed the sidewalks.

Justin Anderson’s make-shift snow plow isn't about the recognition he says, but more about his duty.

“It's very gratifying. It's nice to know you're appreciated. But even if I didn't get any response from anyone – or nobody said Thank You – I'd still do it,” said Anderson.

-via Viral Viral Videos

Common Plants That Can Be Deadly For Pets

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 08:00 AM PST

Pet owners often assume their cats and dogs will instinctively know which plants are safe to eat and which ones are toxic.

But for some reason domesticated animals will chew on just about anything if given the chance, including common plants that are actually pure poison for pets.

If your cat likes to hang out on the counter they might be enticed by that beautiful bouquet of lilies you bring home, but lilies can cause kidney failure in cats and ingestion is fatal if not treated within 18 hours.

 

(Image Link)

The sap from both the elephant ear and dumb cane plants can be fatal if ingested, and if the sap gets into your cat's eyes while it's prowling around they can get mighty infected.

Learned that one the hard way, and lemme tell ya- it's no fun trying to hold your cat down and give them eye drops!

Those beautiful foxgloves that sprout up all over the place are poisonous to both pets and people, but your pets probably won't notice them until you bring them inside, so leave them in the yard where they belong!

(Image Link)

Read about 12 Common Plants That Can Be Deadly For Pets here

I Want To Believe, The Alien Version - The Hairless Apes Are Out There

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 07:00 AM PST


I Want To Believe, The Alien Version by Mike Jacobsen

Agent Cloxx Glllllulder was about to get called back into active duty and he could hardly contain his excitement. Cloxx had been working on the A files for many years, trying to find proof that the pink skinned hairless apes known as Hue-mans actually existed, but every time he thought X marked the spot it was yet another dead end. But when he was partnered up with a fiery Martian named T'lana Xkullllllllleeeee Cloxx knew the proof of alien life was out there...

Celebrate the return of your favorite sci-fi detective show with this I Want To Believe, The Alien Version t-shirt by Mike Jacobsen, it's sure to put a smile on the faces of your fellow fans!

Visit Mike Jacobsen's Facebook fan page, official website, Twitter and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more out of this world designs:

Support CloningI Find Your Lack Of Mask DisturbingResurrection ExplainedExercise In The Forest Moon

View more designs by Mike Jacobsen | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

New York City Igloo for Rent

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 07:00 AM PST

Come stay with us on #airbnb. Link in bio. #IndiaStreetIgloo

A photo posted by Patrick M. Horton (@patrickmhorton) on Jan 24, 2016 at 2:07pm PST

Brooklynite Patrick Horton saw an opportunity in the deep snow in his backyard. He built an igloo and listed it for rent on Airbnb at $200 a night! The igloo was framed in the ad as a romantic getaway. Well, it does have an air mattress, bedding, and lights. The website pulled the ad after a few hours on Sunday, citing its rules that the igloo did not meet its occupancy standards. They require accommodations to have "running water, electricity, and a roof that doesn’t melt." But Horton has an alternate plan.

“I think we’ll try to put it on Craigslist. We might even offer a Tinder special. Maybe throw in some Usher (background music) and a bottle of wine,” he joked Monday.

The heart-melting hideaway includes two candles for ambience, puffy pillows, animal print blankets over a tarp and even some landscaping in the form of a small tree placed near the entrance, he told The News.

“Dripping with ingenuity and alt-lifestyle aura lays this Snowpocalypse’s most desirable getaway,” Horton wrote for the quickly yanked Airbnb ad.

“Built completely by hand all natural,” he said. “Come experience this chic dome-style bungalow with Bae."

Would anyone really consider paying $200 to sleep in a pile of snow in a back yard? Horton said five people inquired about the igloo before Airbnb pulled the ad.  -via Uproxx

Two Single People Get Married For A Week

Posted: 26 Jan 2016 06:00 AM PST

Some people are what they call "terminally single", also known as "undateable", meaning they have a really hard time finding anyone who "gets" them and therefore might end up "dying alone".

These forever alone folks never seem to land a relationship that lasts and will therefore forever wonder what it's like to get married...or they could just do like the two in this silly social experiment by BuzzFeedVideo and get married for a week! (Video contains NSFW language)

(YouTube Link)

The two singles in the video agreed they wouldn't want to marry each other again, but they may live to eat those words and look back on this video as the time they met and married their soulmate...Naaaaaaaah!

-Via BuzzFeed

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