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2016/02/02

Neatorama

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Up Beet - Have You Had Your Happy Vegetables Today?

Posted: 02 Feb 2016 04:00 AM PST


Up Beet by Elio and the Fox

Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, chips on their shoulders or monkeys on their backs, but the best kind of people wear a warm smile from head to toe. Their faces convey friendliness and happiness, and they simply can't help but want to spread those good vibes all around town. For those people we present this Up Beet t-shirt by Elio and the Fox, the perfect way to spread smiles wherever you go and keep your torso warm at the same time!

Visit Elio and the Fox's Facebook fan page and official website, then head on over to their NeatoShop for more delightful designs:

Good Morning SunshineSweet DreamsCactusYou're One In A Melon

View more designs by Elio and the Fox | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

Lemurs Love to Get High on Millipedes

Posted: 02 Feb 2016 04:00 AM PST

Lemurs are everything depicted in Madagascar -adorable, fuzzy and pretty f-ing crazy. But now that insanity sort of makes sense now that we know black lemurs actually enjoy getting high, it makes a lot more sense. So how do they get high? As it turns out, despite mostly eating fruit, they have a soft spot for black millipedes as well. If there's any question about whether or not they're trying to get high or just trying to have a snack, there's no debate there as they don't even eat the poisonous bugs, but simply take a bite and then throw it on the ground.

The millipedes often don't even die, but they do spray a toxic cloud at the lemur, which then spreads it along its fur. Aside from a sweet trip, the lemur also gets the benefit of using the poison as a mosquito repelent.

TARDIS Kilt

Posted: 02 Feb 2016 03:00 AM PST

This is excellent! Besides being stylish, kilts are also practical wear as they permit natural ventilation into the, uh, Heart of the TARDIS. And there will be no need to go on a diet. No matter what you weigh, you'll look slimmer in this kilt by Kilt This.

Like any proper utilikilt, it comes with 2 large pockets, 3 additional containers, an apron sporran, and D-rings for your gear, such as screwdrivers--sonic and otherwise.

-via Fashionably Geek

Dress-Wearing Bunny Drinks Milk

Posted: 02 Feb 2016 02:00 AM PST

(YouTube link)

What you will see is an adorable little bunny who hops around in her little pink dress and then gets a drink from a syringe. Squee! The really weird part is the title of the video at YouTube: “Rabbit Female Wearing Ladies Dress Walking And Jumping , Drinking Milk From Injection Nipple.” Those are obviously words strung together for search engine optimization, and the overall effect is downright industrial. -via Metafilter

Hellpug and Company Just Need A Few Kitty Best Friends

Posted: 02 Feb 2016 01:00 AM PST

We've seen The Gamorrean Pug Guard, Pug Vader, the Banthapug, the leads of Doctor Pug, Spock from Star Pug and a barrage of television show intros with pugs. Now Pupstar Sonoma (who previously created the Game of Pugs) has brought us the superpug movie we've been dying to see -Hellpug.

If you prefer fantasy pugs, the company has also created the Pugs of Middle Earth for you to enjoy so you should still check out the link and say "hello" to some of the most fantastically dressed pugs on earth.

Via Fashionably Geek

Makers Turn Kids' Crazy Inventions into Real-Life Objects

Posted: 02 Feb 2016 12:00 AM PST

Dominic Wilcox is an artist noted for his crazy inventions, such as the breakfast digger and the smartphone nose stylus. He decided to tap into the creativity of 450 children in Sunderland and South Tyneside by asking them to design inventions. Then he asked local makers to turn their designs into reality. Wilcox calls the project Inventors.

It really worked! For example, Wendy Ridley, age 9, wanted a family-sized scooter. She got it--right down to her specific color scheme:

Other inventions were remarkably practical. For example, Colin Salmon learned that wheelchairs won't fit inside conventional phone booths:

So he asked for a phone that would extend on a hinged arm out of the booth and to the user:

You can find the other kids' inventions here.

-via Visual News

What Spot on Earth Gets the Most Sunlight?

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 11:00 PM PST

The sunniest spot on Earth can be one of several places, depending on how you define what you’re looking for. If you are looking for the place that has the most continuous hours of sunlight, that may be it. Or is it the spot with the most measured number of sunny days? And what about the places that don’t get measured on a regular basis? That takes a whole new set of calculations, specifically to find the spot with the least cloud cover. An article at BBC Earth finds all those sunny places, and they aren’t the least bit close to each other. -via the Presurfer

Video Of A Young Vin Diesel Showing Off The Street Sharks Back In 1994

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 10:00 PM PST

The Street Sharks arrived at the end of the mutant animal craze started by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and yet their character designs had just as much appeal and longevity as the TMNT.

(YouTube Link)

Many budding artists watched the animated TV show and played with the toys only to have their later artwork inspired by those gnarly shark-human hybrids.

As it turns out a budding actor had his life changed by the Street Sharks too- Vin Diesel, who proudly demonstrated Street Shark toys at Toy Fair in 1994, back before he became Fast, Furious or Chronicled.

(YouTube Link)

This video was filmed four years before Vin appeared in Saving Private Ryan and seven years before The Fast And The Furious, and it made me realize that Vin the nerd is way cooler than Diesel the furious.

-Via GeekTyrant

Medical Insurance in Dungeons & Dragons

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 09:00 PM PST

When putting together an adventuring party, it's important to include a cleric to heal injuries along the way. A high-level cleric may not offer great combat abilities, but is essential to keeping the party effective on dangerous missions.

Redditor LinkGrajo13's character got hurt and needed a quick healing job. And so:

My friend came into our weekly session with a new cleric. When I asked him to heal me, he handed me this

This is, by the way, only the first form. The cleric in question showed up in the discussion thread with a complete list of the forms, which you can download and use--until there is a regulatory change that requires you to start over.

-via Nerd Approved

Some of the World's Most Beautiful Piers

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 08:00 PM PST

Sellin Pier, Island of Rügen, Germany | Image: elbfoto

An ocean view is one of the most beautiful on the planet, and the price of any real estate that offers such a perspective is valued accordingly across the globe. Combine that view with a striking piece of architecture built to function and interact with the water, and you have an even more spectacular sight. 

Included in this article are photographs of notably beautiful piers all over the world, accompanied by a bit of information and/or history of each structure. Having spent vacation time at one of these piers, I can attest to the gorgeous views it provides. Check out the article and enjoy the photos. Perhaps it will add entries to your "travel to" list, as it has to mine. 



Umhlanga Pier, Umhlanga, South Africa | Image:  Leon Homan

Clevedon Pier, Somerset, England | Image: Chris Frewin

The Genesis of Web Content

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 07:00 PM PST

In the beginning, the first chapter of the Book of Genesis tells us, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without web content. So on the eighth day, after he had rested, he wrote search-engine optimized web articles in slideshow format with clickbait titles. In McSweeney's, Kendra Eash retells this Bible story for an internet age:

In the beginning God created the Internet. And the Internet was without form, and void; and God said, let there be Content; and there was Content. And God divided the content among Facebook and Twitter, YouTube and Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr.

And God said, Let the Content multiply at the hand of the people; it can really be anything.

Even, just, like, playing yogurt cups like bongos, the Lord God said. Or reviewing a Bath and Body Works candle. It’s wide open.

Except nipples, God added. Just women’s nipples are off limits.

And God said, Let the Content be sponsored by all the brands of the earth; Nike and Adidas, Apple and Google, Scion and Ford, Always and Tampax, for Content might influence a primary sales objective.

Be sure to read it all, especially the last line, which is perfect.

-via Popped Culture

FOOD! - An Odd Little Critter With A Death Star Sized Appetite

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST


Food! by Emporion

Might is a relative thing, and while some use force chokes and an army of stormtroopers to prove their might other lesser looking beings simply use their innate talents to fight the war for them. Where big buff guys like Darth see a Death Star as a mighty fortress little Gatchan just sees it as an enormous meal. Gatchan doesn't need a flashy star helmet or some big starship to prove it's a force to be reckoned with, because Gatchan's appetite does all the talking!

Add a touch of tasty humor to your geeky wardrobe with this Food! t-shirt by Emporion, it's a nutritious way to declare your love of anime!

Visit Emporion's Facebook fan page, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more delightfully geeky designs:

Clockwork TurtlesDark Side Wants You!The Simions

The Penguin Evolution

View more designs by Emporion | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

Road Rage Incident Turns Into Full Blown Battle In The Street

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST

Where there's commuting and lots of traffic there's road rage, which erupts into violence when drivers who simply can't contain their disdain for the way other people drive get out of the car ready for battle.

Fist fights, yelling and verbal threats are all normal elements of a road rage eruption, but I don't remember the last time I saw a scrapper swinging a big ol' wooden pole around like Casey at the bat. (Video is NSFW)

(YouTube Link)

This road rage incident took place in Austin, Texas, where some folks are living by Teddy Roosevelt's saying "speak softly but carry a big stick"... but without the speak softly part.

Since the big guy with the even bigger stick seems hell bent on showing off his swordsmanship skills it's only natural that he received the lightsaber remix treatment:

(YouTube Link)

-Via Huffington Post

This NFL Player Is Getting a PhD in Math at MIT in His Spare Time

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 05:00 PM PST

(Photo: Jeffrey Beall)

Working as a professional football player is a full-time job. But that's not stopping John Urschel, a defensive lineman with the Baltimore Ravens, from picking up a side hustle. In his case, that's working through a doctoral degree in math at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Adam Epstein of Quartz reports that Urschel plans to study "spectral graph theory, numerical linear algebra, and machine learning."

While Urschel and his colleagues on the Ravens went to the playoffs last year, he wrote a paper titled "A Cascadic Multigrid Algorithm for Computing the Fielder Vector of Graph Laplacians." Now in an off season, he's back at work on his degree. Quartz quotes Urschel describing his motivation to play:

“I play because I love the game. I love hitting people.”

-via Ace of Spades HQ

14 Big Facts About <i>Dallas</i>

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 04:00 PM PST

The first season of Dallas in 1978 wasn’t watched all that much. I was in college without a TV, anyway. But it really took off in its third season because all anyone could talk about in the summer of 1980 was “Who shot JR?” and the modern TV cliffhanger was born. That wasn’t the only way that Dallas broke new ground and left a legacy that inspired other TV shows. It’s been almost forty years, so let’s learn some things you didn’t already know about Dallas.

9. THE IMPETUS FOR “WHO SHOT J.R.?” CAME FROM HAGMAN RENEGOTIATING HIS CONTRACT.

Hagman wanted to be paid more money for playing J.R., so he went along with the “Who Shot J.R?” premise. “The shooting of J.R. was a double-edged sword; it gave my producers and the CBS bosses a perfect way to get rid of me in case my demands got out of hand,” Hagman told TV Guide in 1980. “Meantime, the pressures began to build. Certain rumors were allowed to circulate, such as an insidious scheme, worthy of J.R. himself, to have the ambulance burn on the way to the hospital, necessitating plastic surgery on J.R., who would emerge from the operation looking just like another actor.” He had a feeling the producers wouldn’t let J.R. die and that they’d acquiesce to his monetary demands.

J.R. was shot in “A House Divided,” which aired in March of 1980, but fans would have to wait until November to find out who attempted to kill him. Those eight months caused such a frenzy that bookies took bets on who did the deed, and even Queen Elizabeth asked Hagman who shot him. “We were presented to the Queen Mother. And she says, ‘I don't suppose you could tell me who shot J.R?’ I said, ‘No ma'am, not even you.’” The show even filmed a gag reel of the cast and crew taking turns shooting Hagman, as a red herring.

When “Who Done It” aired as the fourth episode of the fourth season, on November 21, 1980, the world finally discovered that it was Sue Ellen’s sister, Kristin (Mary Crosby), who did the deed. Up to that point, Crosby was best known for being Bing Crosby’s daughter, but “Being the one who shot J.R. made me a trivia question, and I’m really big in really small countries,” Crosby told CBS. After all that, Hagman prevailed and got his raise (plus a stake in the series).

Well, that made perfect sense as a scheme to explain the presence or absence of a lead character when they did not yet know if he’d return for the next season. Funny how that turned out to be a ratings juggernaut. Such shenanigans didn’t work so well for other characters. Read all 14 Big facts About Dallas at mental_floss.

The Time Debbie Harry Guest Starred On <i>The Muppet Show</i>

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 03:00 PM PST

The Muppet Show played host to many of the greatest entertainers in its day, but one episode has always stood out as just a bit better than the rest- season 5 episode 9, the episode with Blondie's Debbie Harry.

Debbie Harry was so charming and exciting to watch in the episode that even as a kid I remember loving every minute of her interaction with The Muppets.

(YouTube Link)

She sang "Call Me" and "One Way Or Another" with a little help from various Muppets such as Mulch and Robin, and then Debbie Harry did something extraordinary- she sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit! *happy tears*

(YouTube Link)

-Via Dangerous Minds

Eight Classic Movie Props That Were Tossed into the Trash

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 02:00 PM PST



If you take a moment to think of some of your favorite movies and then identify a memorable prop from each, you can begin to put into perspective how many millions of treasures from movie sets get lost in the shuffle and may now be in landfills or misidentified and sitting in attics or thrift shops.

The article linked below lists pieces of movie sets, backgrounds or props that were either lost for a time and then found again, or disappeared and were never recovered. One such piece is pictured above and below. 

4. THE DEATH STAR // STAR WARS (1977)

While George Lucas and Lucasfilm would later have the resources to curate the extensive number of props and costumes from the Star Wars trilogy, not all of the models used in the original film were so lucky. After filming was completed, the single Death Star created for screen use was moved to a storage facility. Fox soon decided they were tired of paying rent, so the contents were ordered to be thrown out. A storage unit employee noticed the Death Star, plucked it from the trash, and hung on to it for the next decade before displaying it in his mother’s Missouri antique shop. The store sold it to a musician who used it as a trash can, stuffing waste through a hole where the radar dish had been. A collector later rescued it, giving the planet-destroying superweapon a life of dignity as a public display.

Read about more precious set remnants from The Goonies, King Kong, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and more at mental_floss. 

Bo & Matthew Sneak into a Movie Theatre

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 01:00 PM PST

Two best friends fulfill “a lifelong dream” of sneaking into a movie theater as one large person. It’s not about saving the money on the ticket; it’s to see if they can get away with it. Of course they did. Movie theater employees aren’t paid enough to risk a confrontation, or even care.

(YouTube link)

This was much easier when I was young. We had drive-in theaters, and huge trunks in our big American cars. -via reddit

"Hand Of God" Cloud Formation Appears Over Portugal

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 12:00 PM PST

Many ancient civilizations saw the natural world as a magical place created and maintained by the gods, and neither the sun nor moon would rise if those celestial beings weren't happy with us humans.

We've come a long way from those fearful and superstitious days, but sometimes nature presents us with a spectacle that makes us feel like we've angered the gods in some way.

People who saw this amazing cloud formation in the sky over the Island of Madeira in Portugal dubbed it the "Hand Of God", probably because "God Fist" simply doesn't have the same ring to it.

The "Hand Of God" was photographed by weather blogger Rogerio Pacheco, and his pics probably made some folks start praying for forgiveness because it looks like GOD IS PUNCHING THE EARTH!

-Via Daily Mail

10 Hidden Details in <i>The Force Awakens</i>

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 11:00 AM PST

By now you’ve probably seen The Force Awakens as many times as you planned, otherwise this video contains spoilers. As you can imagine, a lot of work went into the small details of the movie, and many of those details could have easily flown over your head even on your third, fourth, or fifth viewing. Screen Rant clues you in so you can look for them on your next trip to the theater.  

(YouTube link)

While those tiny details are neat to know, they also make you wonder about all those long-time Star Wars nerds who worked on the film. I imagine them placing bets on how long it would take the biggest fans in the audience to spot them and spread the word. Who knows? There may be many more easter eggs no one has noticed even now. -via Tastefully Offensive

P.S. Here's the story behind the droid R2KT.

Balloons Become Minimalist Art

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 10:00 AM PST

For Peechaya Burroughs, a photographer in Sydney, Australia, balloons are the perfect prop. When framed the right way in a picture with the proper background, they become eggs, donuts, water, and more. You can find more of her work on Instagram.

-via Lost at E Minor

The 10 Best Harrison Ford Movies of All Time

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 09:00 AM PST

Rick Deckard, Han Solo, Jack Ryan, Indiana Jones, Dr. Richard Kimble, President James Marshall… those are only a few of the many roles Harrison Ford made his own in his 40-year movie career (so far). Which movie was the best, or which movie was he best in? Think of your top picks, then check out this list that ranks the best Harrison Ford movies. At least, his best movies so far. I hope he still has more and different roles in him.

Five Nights At Fozzie's - Wocka Wocka CHOMPA!!!

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 08:30 AM PST


Five Nights At Fozzie's by HartsyFartsy

They were the most beloved puppets on the planet, figures made of fleece that kept the fans hungry for more. But then some corporate fatcat decided to open a chain of Muppets themed restaurants complete with animatronic versions of our favorite characters, turning our beloved puppet pals into nightmarish creatures full of gears and an unending hunger. The restaurants were quickly closed down and the animatronics locked within each location, to be guarded by a security officer so they wouldn't escape, but the guards were no match for Kermit's cleverness and Piggy's insatiable appetite. But Fozzie proved to be the baddest of the bunch, because his wocka-wocka sound effects filled his victims with dread before he gobbled them all up...

Show the world why it's best not to tamper with perfection, wear this Five Nights At Fozzie's t-shirt by HartsyFartsy and warn the world about the animatronic apocalypse!

Visit HartsyFartsy's Facebook fan page, official website, Twitter and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more scary good designs:

Super Scoleri Bros.Reservoir CatsBatjerk Vs SuperdorkI Heart Episode IV

View more designs by HartsyFartsy | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

The Hastily Produced History Of The Ashcan Copy

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 08:30 AM PST

An "ashcan copy" is the entertainment industry equivalent of "calling dibs" on a franchise by slapping together a crappy, low budget production simply so they can prove they own the rights.

The practice of creating ashcan copies began in the Golden Age of comics, when publishers would slap together a few copies of a comic in order to retain rights to use characters, titles, etc. by proving they're doing something with it.

This proof of use has become increasingly valuable in Hollywood, where licenses are hoarded by big companies even if they don't actually intend to create a show based on the franchise.

Recently, a low budget TV adaptation of Robert Jordan's fantasy classic The Wheel Of Time aired late at night on FXX, which amounted to half an hour of awfulness hastily created to prove ownership of rights.

Here it is complete with commercials:

(YouTube Link)

It's unclear when the first ashcan copy of a movie or TV show was made, but this practice dates back to at least 1966, when producer Bill Snyder teamed up with animation director Gene Deitch to secure the rights to J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit:

(YouTube Link)

Read about The Weird History Of The Ashcan Copy at mental_floss

Rabbit Rescued from Roof of House

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 08:00 AM PST

(Photos: Northern Ireland Fire and Rescue Service)

Bumper and Thumper are rabbits that live at a group home for adults with mental health issues in Omagh, County Tyrone, Northern Ireland. They have a hutch on the side of the house. A storm blew down the hutch and Bumper up on the roof, leaving him stranded.

Firefighters responded to the scene. They coaxed Bumper down, who is now safe back in the hutch with Thumper.

-via Nothing to Do with Aborath

The 100 Jokes That Shaped Modern Comedy

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 07:30 AM PST

Vulture has a mega-post with a timeline of comedy history. The title is a bit hyperbolic, because the 100 jokes are limited to the United States in the last 110 years. However, it does include visual gags, one-liners, full skits, movie scenes, standup, long-running jokes, and more, with commentary. There are tons of classics that will make you laugh no matter how many times you’ve heard them, and others you may vaguely remember and will be glad to see again.

“When I’m Good I’m Very Good … But When I’m Bad, I’m Better” -Mae West, 1933

“I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I’m so indebted to her for.” -W.C. Fields, 1941

“Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it’s known at my house, Passover.” -Bob Hope, 1968

“Dave’s not here.” -Tommy Chong, 1971

“These go to 11.” -Christopher Guest, 1984

There are a lot of videos. You can read through them in order, or use the timeline to jump around and find your favorites. Some are NSFW, but the description should indicate the subject before you play a sound clip or video. This list could keep you busy for days.

(Image credit: Giacomo Gambineri)

Stay Warm And Geeky All Winter In A Fun New NeatoShop Hoodie

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 07:00 AM PST

Let's Build A Snowman by Karen Hallion

The weather outside has been a bit frightful, but you'll weather the storm in style when you're wearing a hooded sweatshirt from the NeatoShop.

Hoodies are a classic way to keep warm and show off the geeky artwork you love, and the NeatoShop has all kinds of different hoodies, with thousands of designs to choose from.

Some people prefer to wear clothes that are easy to maintain

Do Not Wash by Fernando Sala

And prefer to live comfortably rather than as an uptight and uncomfortable conformist

BEEF SQUATCH by Dann Matthews

These are the NeatoShop's kind of people, the ones with an individual sense of style

Reservoir Cats by HartsyFartsy

It's one thing to throw on the old monkey suit when it's time to get fancy

I Just Can't Look Away... by Blueswade

But who doesn't want to be stylish and comfortable when they're not forced to be formal?

Zero Fox by Fishbiscuit

Maybe stuffy style may be simply a matter of taste

Steel by SilverBaX

Or rooted in people being forced to wear uncomfortable clothes due to their jobs

Adventure Pals by JCMaziu

But that's no way to live your life, you've gotta be comfortable with yourself

World's Best Boss by Rustenico

And take a little of your own geeky color with you wherever you go

Fox And Scully by Pigboom

Flying that freak flag freely whenever you feel like it (say that ten times fast!)

X-Kids Club by ClayGrahamArt

But the best way to stay warm and geeky in the winter isn't by wearing a fur coat

Wookiee Squad by Morlock

It's by wrapping yourself in the cheesy warmth of a NeatoShop sweatshirt

Pizkull by ThanksAnyway

With a bold and geeky graphic on the front or back

Wolvestitch by Geluckfan

And a variety of colors and styles to choose from, ranging to zip up to hoodless

Sympathy For The Devil's Lock by Raz City

The NeatoShop has got you covered

Dr. Swiss by Steven Lefcourt

So don't run out to the stores looking for a sweatshirt

Friday The 13th by Qetza

Simply head to the NeatoShop and you'll find something that fits your sense of style

Horror Night Off by DinoMike

So you can bundle up before you catch cold!

The Sickness by LikeLikes

The NeatoShop has so many designs to choose from it's spooky

Ghostbusters by Albertocubatas

And there's bound to be quite a few designs in there that you'll love

I Heart Dragons - Olive by Sugarpoultry

Whether you're looking for something warm yet sweet

You're One In A Melon by Elio And The Fox

Or prefer to keep it classic black with a hood to keep your head warm

Lovecraftian Dreams by Grafx-Guy

There's just one spot to go when you need to cover your torso- the NeatoShop

Twisted Twister by Majanation

Home to a host of far out designs you can bring home on a hoodie!

Aliens! by Eman! & ZombieMedia

If you want to stay warm the geeky way for many winters to come you need to grab a hoodie or sweatshirt from the NeatoShop, home of the best prints in the biz!

The NeatoShop has thousands of designs that can be printed on a zip up sweatshirt, pullover hoodie or a hoodless sweatshirt if you prefer, and they also have t-shirts both long sleeve and short.

So head to the NeatoShop for all your geeky gear, because they've got you covered!

Chewbacca the Newborn Calf Rescued from Thin Ice

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 06:00 AM PST


YouTube Link

A three-day-old calf named Chewbacca got an early lesson in the dangers of winter when he slipped in between the planks of a wooden fence and escaped from his enclosure, later stranding himself on a pond covered with thin ice. But Chewbacca, a resident of Hope, Indiana, was saved by the quick action of his owner Kevin Mahoney, who enlisted the help of his local police department when the rope with which he first tried to rescue the calf was too short.

After the police arrived with a rope long enough to pull the calf to safety, Chewbacca's anxious mama made the adorable move of jumping over a barrier to get her to her baby. She had waited long enough to warm and comfort the little calf, and took the tail end of the rescue into her own hooves. Via Arbroath

How Ice Skates Helped to Win the War

Posted: 01 Feb 2016 05:00 AM PST

How the Dutch defeated the Spanish invasion in the Eighty Years' War …with ice skates! Here's the story, from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Attack of the Factoids.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

During the 15th and 16th centuries, the heyday of the Spanish Empire, the country’s kings and queens tended to go brutally overboard in their support of the Roman Catholic Church. They forced Jews and Muslims to convert or get out of the country in 1492, and then created the infamous Inquisition to root out atheists, freethinkers, Christians of the wrong kind, and any former Jews and Muslims who were only pretending to be Catholic. Torture, forced confessions, and burnings at the stake were common tools used to “save” the souls of those deemed insufficiently Catholic.

In 1566 Spain’s King Philip II got some disturbing news about a distant province ruled by his empire. Thanks to the devilish and revolutionary influence of people like Martin Luther and John Calvin, the scourge of Protestantism had taken root in the Spanish-controlled Netherlands. After trying out slightly gentler methods, Philip sent in Spanish troops with orders to scare the devil— or at least the Calvin and Luther— out of the locals. In response, many of the Dutch people rose up in rebellion, and Philip decided that anything, even mass murder, was acceptable in the effort to convince the Dutch to accept Catholicism.

THE SWORD OF THE LORD

Not all Dutch towns resisted or wanted trouble, but even that didn’t help them. In November 1572, the city of Naarden tried to negotiate surrender with the Spanish by inviting the invading army to a lavish feast. But after the food and toasts and expressions of friendship and loyalty were finished, the army gathered the 3,000 residents into the town church. Moments after sending in a reluctant priest to tell the people to pray, the army rushed in with swords and began slaughtering the townspeople. Eventually, the soldiers burned the church down to make sure there were no survivors. Other cities and towns were similarly ransacked, and an estimated 100,000 people were killed.

DUTCH THREAT

News of the massacres spread quickly through the rest of the Netherlands, and resistance became the only way the Dutch could see to throw off the Spanish invasion, even for towns that had been loyal to the empire and Catholicism. That wouldn’t be easy, though. The Spaniards were marching toward Amsterdam, and the small cities along the way didn’t have the armies to resist them. But evacuating thousands of citizens on short notice with winter coming wasn’t possible either. Still, they couldn’t just wait around to be killed. So what could they do?

Further complicating matters was the fact that the Netherlands didn’t have any mountains or other high places to use defensively. In fact, because so much of the Dutch countryside had once been swamps, lakes, and ocean floor, 30 percent of its land is actually below sea level and most of the rest, just barely above it. But then, officials in the city of Alkmaar in the central part of the country came up with a plan so crazy it probably shouldn’t have worked.



Here’s how the plan went: Flood everything. Breach the levees and dikes that kept rivers and the waters of the North Sea at bay. Create a huge lake on farmland around the city, making it difficult for marching armies to reach its gates. The townspeople went to work— opening water gates, digging holes in levees, and damming rivers. Soon there was water everywhere, and it was too deep to  cross on foot. Other towns did the same thing, and when the Spanish army arrived, it looked out helplessly over broad waters and stopped dead.

THE ICE BRIGADE

The Spanish then retreated back to their ships and decided to attack Amsterdam by way of its harbor instead. Time was running out, though, because winter was coming. For the Spanish, that looked like it might be a silver lining: When the cold of winter came, all of those lakes would freeze into ice highways.

The first test of that theory came shortly afterward when the ragtag Dutch fleet was frozen into the Amsterdam harbor, making the Dutch unable to confront the Spanish ships head-on. Taking that advantage, Spanish troops began marching across the ice to attack the ships first, and then they planned to head to the coastline on foot.

But as they marched gingerly across the frozen ice, they were confronted by a horrifying apparition. Wave after wave of Dutch soldiers flew across the surface of the ice with incredible speed, flitting into range just long enough to fire a musket before retreating again behind walls of ice and frozen snow. The Spanish soldiers had never seen anything like it: “It was a thing never heard of before today,” the Spanish Duke of Alva recounted with grudging admiration, “to see a body of musketeers fighting like that on a frozen sea.”

THE AGONY OF THE FEET

The Spanish didn’t stay for long. Alva ordered a quick retreat… or at least as quickly as the Spanish soldiers could go with slippery shoes and frostbitten toes. The Dutch skating masters followed, pushing Alva’s men back to their ships and picking off several hundred of them in the process.

Alva killed a few Dutch soldiers and finally got his hands on the real cause of their high-speed dexterity: ice skates. He sent a pair back to Spain with a message that his soldiers needed skates of their own. When he received that message, the king of Spain ordered 7,000 pairs of ice skates made, and the Spanish military started offering skating lessons.

EPILOGUE

The Spanish became decent skaters, but as defenders, the Dutch held a significant advantage. They were also able to push the Spaniards onto thin ice by cutting the frozen flooded cities at tactical spots, creating deadly traps that sent their enemies plunging deep into freezing water. The Dutch also doubled their fighting forces by teaching civilian women how to shoot and repair damaged walls (often raiding Catholic churches for statues and using them as building material to taunt and demoralize the Spanish).



The war lasted for 80 years, alternating between stalemates and horrifying brutality, but by 1648, the Netherlands and Belgium had driven out the Spanish once and for all. The Dutch continued to refine strategic flooding as a defensive tactic, adding forts along roads and bridges. The “Dutch Water Line” remained effective as a defensive strategy until the air power of World War II finally made it obsolete.

_______________________________

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Attack of the Factoids. Weighing in at over 400 pages, it's a fact-a-palooza of obscure information.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

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