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Brazilian Vampire Bats Have Started Feeding on Humans and, Well, That Sucks  As if there weren’t enough to worry about this year, vampire bats, the bats with the scariest name in the animal kingdom, have developed a taste for human blood. Yes, human blood. If you’re reading this and are human, that should rock you to your core. According to a report from New Scientist, researchers in Brazil found traces of human blood in vampire bats’ feces. They report: “Enrico Bernard from the Federal University of Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil, and his team analysed 70 faeces samples from a colony of hairy-legged vampire bats, D. ecaudata, living in Catimbau National Park in north-east Brazil. “They found that three samples out of the 15 they managed to get DNA from had traces of blood from humans. ‘We were quite surprised,” says Bernard. “This species isn’t adapted to feed on the blood of mammals.’” via Shutter The article goes on to say that vampire bats usually feed on birds, but due to human encroachment, they may have started moving on to most dangerous game… HUMAN. Well, 2017 is off to a great start. 
The Obamas Get a Fantastic Farewell Photoshop Battle Today the Obamas departed from the Whitehouse as Trump assumed the position on America and was sworn in as President of the United States.
This photo was released showing the now former President and former First-Lady gazing out over the Whitehouse lawn before departing permanently.
In true fashion, the internet realized it was now time for one last photoshop battle. 
Watch Comic Book Fans Get Pranked By Friggin' Captain America I don’t know if it’s anyone’s dream to have a Captain America doll talk them, but if it is, these lucky fans had their dream come true. Chris Evans staged a comic book store Escape the Room scenario, where he voiced a Captain America doll and coached some lucky fans into a deadly snake pit and humilate themeselves in front of some complete strangers.
It's a lot of fun. Submitted by: (via Omaze) 
My Dude Thought Things Were Bad When His BMW E36 Was In a Ditch, Then It Got Pulled Out The Internet would describe it as “When you think you're free, but you crash into a tow truck.”
There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re home free and, suddenly, everything goes wrong again. Like maybe, for an instant, you thought everything was going to be ok, and then, all in an instant, you knew you were just careening toward even more disappointment. What’s a good metaphor for this? Oh, like imagine you skid into a ditch in your BMW, and when the tow truck finally pulls you out, you crash right into it. Perfect.
via Imgur 
Dad Does Delivers Hilarious Commentary Over Daughter's Makeup Tutorial Makeup tutorials account for approximately 97% of the Internet. The rest is people watching the world's best YouTube video "Drummer at the Wrong Gig" (not up for debate). But for people that don't use makeup or makeup tutorials, getting your feet wet in this world is almost impossible.
However, when Sophie Adler's dadoffered to do some commentary over one of her makeup tutorials, and it is hilarious. 
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