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2020/09/22

Success! Or Fail - Episode One and more...

One of the best things about life is that sometimes, well, we don't actually make a mess of our existence and fail. Sometimes, we actually succeed at navigating this wild rollercoaster that is existence with those rare qualities like grace and ease. ...
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Success! Or Fail - Episode One and more...




Success! Or Fail - Episode One

 

One of the best things about life is that sometimes, well, we don't actually make a mess of our existence and fail. Sometimes, we actually succeed at navigating this wild rollercoaster that is existence with those rare qualities like grace and ease. Let's take a hot second to celebrate those magical moments that weren't utter failures. 

Submitted by: (via Fail Blog)

       
 

"Disney Channel Intro" Goes Wrong

 

And just like that, Meghan's dreams of hosting the Disney Channel were dashed. Whenever doing any kind of waving around, it's best to keep an eye on what's going on with your limbs. That sound is gold

Submitted by: (via thatsideofutube 2)

Tagged: beer , explosion , FAIL , lol , dumb , funny , Video
       
 

Weather Presenter Says He Isn't Rick Astley Fan, Rick Is Listening

 

Behold the petrified look of a weather reporter who got blindsided by Rick Astley himself. Fortunately, Rick Astley seems like a cool and understanding dude who doesn't pitch a fit when someone doesn't like his music. 

Submitted by: (via BAX)

       
 

Tenant Gets Inconsiderate, Stomping Neighbors Fined

Man oh man, inconsiderate neighbors are just the kind of thing that can drive the most rational, even keeled folks over the edge. Especially if you approach their antics with kindness and try to play nice, and they throw it right back in your face. Fortunately, this tenant was able to take the kind of successful petty revenge that resulted in their neighbors getting penalized with a righteous fine. Job well done. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/gloriaj10 • 1d Getting My Neighbors Fined In my previous apartment I lived on the bottom floor with two roommates. The girls who lived above me were really noisy, playing loud music at all hours of the night. Music doesn't really affect me much but to my roommates it was really annoying. They called the of and one of the office workers asked them to quiet down as there was a complaint. A couple days later I heard really loud thumping and jumping from my ceiling. I

2.

Text - I left my apartment for a couple of hours and when I came back the ceiling lamp had fallen from the ceiling. These apartments came with that lamp so we would have to pay for it if it's broken. When I asked my roommates what happened they said the girls above us were stomping so hard that it had broken off from the ceiling. They were in the room at the time so you can imagine how scary that is for the ceiling lamp to just fall out of nowhere. My roommates called maintenance to fix the lamp

3.

Text - By now these girls knew that they were being too loud too late at night. I could see if it was the weekend but it would be during the week. So one night I decided to call the police because the office wasn't doing anything. I heard the officer speaking to them and they fed him the same excuses they fed me. After he left they decided it would be funny to get back at me by stomping extremely loud. I knew that they were doing it on purpose because it was louder than it had ever been and it w

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Common Skills People Simply Don't Possess

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the common skills that people don't possess. Some of these might strike a chord, and make you feel better about the struggles that could be plaguing your existence. Struggles like not having the self control/awareness to know when to stop talking, or maybe something more intense like a condition called prosopagnosia, which is trouble recognizing faces like none other. These also might make you feel just a little bit more grateful for all the common skills that you otherwise took for granted. 

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White - waapplerachel • 16h Knowing when to shut up. Reply 1.9k ...

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Text - 1 Award Wrapping presents. I watch videos every time but I still can't do it. Reply 1 4.3k ...

3.

Text - numbskull56• 18h 2 Awards Snapping my fingers :( Reply 3.4k ...

4.

Text - TonyStark39 • 17h Weirdly, being unable to end a conversation on phone. Like, if unprompted, I just wouldn't know what to say to end the conversation. Reply 1 1.2k ...

5.

Text - short_fat_and_single • 15h 2 Awards I have prosopognosia, which means I have problems recognizing faces. I can only recognize people I see often or people who stick out visually. People with no distinguishing features are super hard, I call them smooth lookers. I usually fake it until I understand who they are mid conversation. My only real problem is movies where several actors have the same main features. Didn't that guy die? Reply 2.9k ...

6.

Text - Shoey_master6382 • 17h 2 Awards Having a conversation. I never know what to say and I'm always too nervous Reply 1.4k ...

7.

Text - SJ2390 • 17h I can't whistle, snap my fingers or do a cartwheel. Reply 5.6k ...

8.

Text - dekehairy • 16h After braces and jaw surgery, I still am unable to bite through things with my front teeth. I have a 4mm gap between my top and bottom teeth. Carrots, nope. Celery, nope. A simple sandwich with the trademark toothy bite mark out of the corner? Break out the fork and knife and look like a lunatic. I completely identified with the guy on Seinfeld who ate a Snickers with a fork and knife. Reply 1.1k ...

9.

Text - Skyhawk_Illusions • 14h Drawing. My hands simply can't translate my mind's eye. Reply 292 ...

10.

Text - TarantulaPets • 17h 1 Award Singing. I've had crows bring me worms when l've sang outdoors. Reply 1.2k ...

11.

Text - picklesupreme • 17h 1 Award Bike riding. I can't whistle or swim either, but I feel like I'm missing out on the most by not being able to ride a bike Reply 1 430 ...

12.

Text - the_loyal_spartan • 16h Staying quiet until the other person stops talking....I'm an interupter Reply 864 ...

13.

Text - Gapingyourdadatm • 15h The ability to do mental math. I simply cannot, it's a learning disability. I need a pen and paper or a calculator in order to do any math that is more complex than adding or subtracting one or two-digit numbers. Reply 1 3.2k ...

14.

Text - canohughess • 16h 1 Award despite being a little girl in the late 90s and early 00s, I can't braid for shit Reply 765 ...

15.

Text - jordisj44 • 17h The feeling of time. Like day feels like night night feels like day. When I'm tired I'm tiered etc Reply 348 ...

16.

Text - uriejejejdjbejxijehd • 17h Folding laundry properly. I can do an acceptable job, but l'll never achieve the easy perfection my wife casually displays. Reply 1.1k ...

17.

White - Valyris • 17h Interacting with new people. Reply 1 1.2k ...

18.

Text - eggy_delight • 16h Shuffling cards. I have to literally (LITERALLY) mash cards together and pray they shuffled enough to be played Reply 329 ...

19.

Text - arxero • 16h S 1 Award Snapping my fingers, and I really don't care enough to learn. And every time I tell someone I can't snap my fingers, without fail, they go "Really!? It's so easy!" *snap s**na*p ***nap snäp snappity fucking *sn*ap snAP SnaP sNæp snáppy °na° snap sñãp snap Imao haha lel lol *ap snAP SnaP sNæp snap snap snap... all up Imao *sn*- in my fucking face. Reply 359

20.

Text - Consistent_Racer • 16h Doing a fake accent, like british, people make it seem so easy. Mine is terrible. Reply 182 ...

21.

Text - PlamEv • 16h Converting food into energy and not just storing it as fat immediately after walking by a fridge. Reply 248 ...

22.

Text - Avicii_DrWho • 17h Math skills. Who decided to bring letters into math! Graphs are my archenemy. Reply 207 ...

23.

Text - blaz3_tired • 17h 1 Award How to tell what's left and right Thank you all for all the suggestions l'll make sure to try them all Reply 199 ...

24.

Text - 100LittleButterflies • 16h I cannot walk and drink at the same time. No matter how hard I try Reply 36 ...

25.

Text - PezAnt90 • 17h 4 Awards The ability to understand any instructions that aren't 100% crystal clear, it's like my brain shuts down trying to figure it out

26.

Text - cuoyi77372222 • 18h sense of direction. none. at. all. Reply 1.2k ...

27.

Text - dawrina • 16h Sleeping I envy people who can sleep soundly all night long. I'm such a light sleeper I wake up at even the slightest disturbance. I also sweat massively in my sleep so I always wake up drenched. I usually have a fan pointed directly at my bed and it's like 50 degrees in my room. I also sleep with 1 blanket. No comforter or sheets. I either sleep like 12 hours or 4 hours. There's no inbetween. Reply 371 ...

28.

Text - finnwicke • 16h I can't spit. Going to the dentist is always embarrassing when they say you can swish and spit. For me it's more swish and awkwardly spew from my lips. Reply 25

29.

White - loritree • 17h The ability to drive a stick. Reply 85 ...

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Liars That Tried To Lie And Failed Miserably

We'll never know what compels people to use the internet as a place for all their laziest, plain old weakest lies. It could be some pathological hunger of the ego that's just bent on adding more fuel to its delusional fire through recognition from the online world of achievements/stories that were pulled right out of thin air. Fortunately, the wild west that is social media also has some folks that are committed to upholding the truth, and calling out the BS as they see it. 

1.

Text - ... Despite her moving to LA me and Alanah have been trying to open our hearts to one another again. I still can't believe I actually dated her for what was thee best and most healthy year of my life and thee healthiest relationship I have ever been in, in my entire life. She is thee most amazing ess aske person I've ever met and thee most famous girl l'veenough ever dated lol! I love you Alanah Pearce and hope we can return to where we once were, back when day so my dumbass tried to groo

2.

Text - Alanah Pearce @Charalanahzard bruh damn just found out i'm in a committed relationship with some dude who i guess asked me for a picture once but apparently he has enough money to buy the entire IGN staff lunch every friday so it's going great thank you all for your love and support xx Traduzir Tweet 11:17 PM · 15 de set de 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 522 Retweets 93 Tweets de comentário 19,5 mil Curtidas

3.

Text - One of my homegirls painted this of me!!!! Dang I am soooo fine!!! Be great!!! Like · Comment - Share - 10 hours ago via Instagram and 8 others like this. Your homegirl must be an expert at filtering. 10 hours ago via mobile · Unlike 4

4.

Purple - My danger noodle's heat lamp burnt out, so I knit him this sweater while I replace it. I think he likes it! Vote 21 Share Award SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL Now Guess we have twin snakes with the same sweater lol

5.

Text - Hey It's 13:22 How're you doing? 13:22 Hey, where do i know you from? 13:25 / We met during the carnival 13:46 Yeah no, we didn't, how did you get my number? Or are you just texting random numbers? That's creepy! If you want to get to know people, get yourself a dating app. 13:50 /

6.

Text - Nein, I'm not texting random people. You gave me your contact when we meet but my phone got broken and just got a new one and I just wanted to say Hi 14:01 Okay, i'm sorry, in what City you think we met? 14:05 / 14:06 I live and study here in 14:06

7.

Text - What about you? 14:07 Okay, so you got my number from 14:16 / Yes I remember, sorry 14:16 I needed a room and a friend sent it to me 14:17 Is it still available 14:17 It was in südstadt? 14:17 No it's not. Please delete my number! 14:19 A

8.

Text - ... COW 22 h Hi Jo, thanks for reaching out! We love feedback, whether it be positive or negative, we especially love feedback like this so others can see the type of people we have to deal with sometimes. First of all, I'll address the "£700" that you and your party claim to have spent... now, we both know this isn't true don't we, Jo... it's not even remotely accurate as to what you spent, but l'll crunch the numbers for you.

9.

Text - Our most expensive pizza on the menu is £9.00, this means that if you ordered only pizzas, you'd have to order 77 of them to be even close to spending £700. You didn't order 77 pizzas, Jo. But let's talk drinks... the most expensive drink we sell is a double gin & mixer at £6.10, this means you'd have to order 115 of these to be even close to spending £700. You didn't order 115 double gin & mixers. So let's split the difference, seeing as you had spent the "£700" on both pizzas and drinks

10.

Text - So seeing as you are having trouble with your memory & maths, I went over our point of sale system this afternoon for you, along with viewing our footage of your party on CCTV and our copy of your receipts. What you & your party spent, Jo was a far more realistic and believable £280 (£225 on 5 rounds of drinks and £55 on 8 pizzas). If you are going to lie, embellish, or try to fabricate a ridiculous narrative about your time at our bar... at least make it a believable one. Not going great

11.

Text - With the ironic exception of the young adults that were with your group and one or two others, you all acted like belligerent, entitled little toddlers from the moment you walked through our gates. You wanted to make a reservation for 3 tables, we informed you this wasn't possible on a Saturday night for a group so large, but if you turned up the moment we opened at 4pm, you'd get the tables you'd requested. At 4:30pm you showed up with the tables you wanted already taken, but not to worr

12.

Text - bags of party bunting you brought with you. We allowed members of your party to bring in food from other venues to circumvent their food allergies. We cleaned up all the smashed pint glasses you broke and birthday cake you dropped & smeared all over our tables & benches, and tolerated the many loud family rows you were having with each other. Rather than treat our staff like human beings that are just trying to earn a wage, you decided to treat them like your own personal servants, clicki

13.

Text - warned by our door staff about staying seated and observing social distancing, of which you refused to do either. You were the loudest, most obnoxious group in the whole bar, just being a nuisance in general and other customers were starting to complain about you at this point. Then, for your party's grand finale, the gentleman in the blue shirt headed into our bar from outside and decided to vomit everywhere but the toilet. Our staff stepped into to help, but you demanded to "deal with t

14.

Text - communicate with you or help. (don't worry, the staff member that you nearly had in tears earlier on cleaned it up for you) We'd love to have the reviews feature on our page turned on, but people like you are the very reason we don't, because there is no way to negate them once they are left, whether they are a fair review or not. Nobody... not staff, door supervisors or myself had barred you that night, after all, nobody was hurt, and we've all drank too much and regretted it the next da

15.

Text - back, apologized, been given the "don't let it happen again" speech we've all had at one point or another and we'd have all moved on, but no... instead you ran straight to the internet, played victim, and told a pack of lies. So now consider this your official barring... don't you or your group ever set foot through our doors again. Also, as a side note, you were pretty much anonymous to us, nobody knew any of your names. But now you've formally identified yourself by checking in to our b

16.

Text - Hucknall's pubwatch scheme, so you can expect some pushback from all the other bar owners, landlords & venues throughout Hucknall on your next visit. My only regret was not kicking you all out sooner. To anybody else reading this who would like to view exactly how not to behave in a bar during a global pandemic with heavy social and footfall restrictions in place, (or how not to behave in public in general) pop along to the bar and l'll gladly show you the highlights of our CCTV footage w

17.

Text - Sorry for the long post, folks, but this needed addressing. Lots of love as always. 100753TICE **Quick edit** ed team won't be making any more The comments or responding on this thread. Jo and her party were rude and belligerent

18.

Text - customers during their visit to us. Jo then followed this up by checking herself into our bar via our business page and left a fabricated public review full of lies and half truths the following day, and she was dealt with via our right to reply. Please don't take our response or this post as a green light to harass or bully anybody involved. As far as we are concerned, the matter is now over.

19.

Text - Went here yesterday for sister in laws 50th lovely little bar- spent approx £700 between us on drinks and pizza - to be served by some members of staff with awful attitude - to be told we must drink up and leave can't come back because one member of our party was too drunk - to be them apologised to because someone had told them we were all too drunk - take in to account the money we had spent - to be them told half and hour later the owners wanted us out as we had stood up - bearing in m

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Cheezburger Image 9553701888

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Cheezburger Image 9553702912

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Cheezburger Image 9553703168

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Creepy Warning Signs That Do Their Job Well

There are a lot of hazards out in this big world of ours. There are unexploded mines, vipers, bees, big holes, radioactive caves, cliffs and biting monkeys. A sign doesn't even have to explain itself that much. There are a lot of spooky signs out there that say a lot with their creepiness. Sometimes those dangers get to the point where the warning signs are patently absurd.

1.

Advertising - DON'T BE A NORMAN NINE FINGERS THESE ANIMALS BITE

2.

Tree - NO SWIMMING VERY COLD DEEP WATER ! YOU WILL DIE ! JEPSIN A

3.

Text - POWER ON CutawiRETYOU DIE AZIO V HARD AF 4740V

4.

Text - DANGER Deep aerated water This water has no buoyancy You will NOT float

5.

Wall - DANGER SUDDEN DROP DANGER SUDDEN DROP SNOA

6.

Technology - IPORANT HAS THIS CELL BEEN III PURGED I! AND III CONTAINED I!I

7.

Nature reserve - Due to recent shark activity please follow these SAFETY TIPS. • Know your surroundings. H1. Co ed • Do not swim near seals or Grea schooling fish. Pond 5i. deS • Swim close to shore in waist -16H deep water. DMP • Avoid swimming at dawn and dusk. • Swim in groups. Thank you - Town of Harpswell Report shark sightings to the Department of Marine Resources, Sergeant Wesley Dean, 207-542-0026 or wesley.dean@maine.gov

8.

Sign - EX Do not open in an explosive atmosphere!

9.

Vegetation - A CRIME WAS COMMITTED HERE. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT.- ARMES VHL VANDALS TH

10.

Nature reserve - WARNING TO PUBLIC DANGER FROM UNEXPLOLED SHELL AND MORTAR BOMB5 ANS NG HE TRAINING AREAMUS MOVE OL RIGHTS OF NAY. ON NO ACCOUNT SHOULD ANY OBJECT BE MOVED OR TOUCHED IT MAY EXPLODE

11.

Canidae - Always stay with your children. Be dingo-safe. Si658

12.

State park - DANGER WATER LEVEL RISES SUDDENLY WITH EXTREME TURBULENCE WHEN SIRENS SOUND, EXIT THE RIVER IMMEDIATELY For water related issues, call 877-816-7466

13.

Text - Warning] Wild Monkeys might Shatch your belongings or bite you. Take precauti ons against monkeys. • Do not a white plastic bag. carry (Monkeys know food inside.) have If you one, keep it inside of your bag. Do not take a photo against wild monkeys. Monkeys might attack you. • Some Troubles happened aroun this area. (Especially, little children and women might bé targeted by wild menkeys) Do not feed Wild Monkeys.

14.

Street sign - STATE PRISON NEXT EXIT ela DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS

15.

Street sign - WARNING KEEP OUT

16.

Gas - A WARNING THIS MACHINE MAY LUNGE BACKWARD, WHICH COULD RESULT IN PERSONAL INJURY OR DEATH. STAY AT LEAST 25 FEET CLEAR OF THE AREA BEHIND THE MACHINE.

17.

Window - FÓOD SHORTAGE COMING HO

18.

Banner - Yosemite National Park National Park Service U.S. Department of the Interior AREA CLOSED DO RA TER NAT EN

19.

Leaf - ま心しに注意。 淀川工事事務所

20.

Grass - CAUTION LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT LOOK BOTH WAYS AT STOP AHEAD

21.

Green - IT'S THE LAW! UP TO $250 FINE elay age e C

22.

Text - BE CAREFUL FIRE DOOR DO NOT BLOCK EVERY MACHINE IN THIS DEPARTMENT IS DANGEROUS NOTICE NO SMOKING KEEP MATERIAL AWAY FROM THIS FIRE DOOR SO THAT THE DOOR WILL BE READY FORINSTA NT USE AT ALLTIMES

23.

Yellow - WARNING KEEP AWAY Extremely cold gas may be exhausted with no warning. Danger of cold burns and asphyxiation.

24.

Label - A WARNING Rotating shaft can cause severe injury Keep hair and loose clothing away CHR951023

25.

Transport - Supporti The Hills RADIOACTIVE IN CASE OF ACCIDENT CONTACT LOCAL POLICE 7.

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New Employee is Not Having Free Donut Day

Getting used to a new work dynamic can be stressful, and this new employee decided that they wouldn't be bullied into participating in free donut day. Instead of just blowing the thing off, they thought to make their point more clear in the form of middle finger donuts. For some more office shenanigans, here's an employee who annoyed their coworker with plants.

1.

Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance - Posted by u/grillbuster5 11 hours ago It is MY day to buy donuts for the entire office as the new person?? Well...OK.... oc M As the "new person" at my job, I was told multiple times that I was expected to provide donuts for the entire office. Normally, that's not a big deal... but two people in particular were rude and relentless about the donuts all week. Others joined in also. Apparently, these people recently extorted two boxes of Krispy Kremes from someone e

2.

Text - Here's the problem, I was hired in as a Sr., 30 years old, and I was not necessarily loving the idea of being told to buy donuts. Hazing really did not seem appropriate at this point of my career. I didn't want to be a "bad sport" my first week, so I played along. In terms of the workforce, I was mature, but I was not very mature as a person overall. I needed a creative way to address this problem. On my way to work, I decided to pickup a cheap bag of small powdered hostess "donettes" don

3.

Text - The reaction from the staff was a lot of the "deer in headlights" looks. People had no idea if I was a "really nice, but clueless" person, or if I was totally saying “F U" to the entire donut idea. Most people took the "safe" choice of being pleasant in return. Some people tried to refuse, but I mentioned the "big deal" about buying donuts, and still left a donut on every desk. I had originally considered providing a donut to everyone except the last two idiotic pushy people. I started ve

4.

Text - My idea to passive aggressively snub them was no longer good enough. This had to be more direct. I decided I was 100% done with these guys, regardless of the consequences. I told them I had another idea. I grabbed a plastic knife from the breakroom, and cut the remaining donut in half the long way, so I still had two circles. The yellow cake was now visible. Then - the most brilliant idea of my life. A new way to hold donuts. One donut on each middle finger, with my middle finger in the c

5.

Text - I stopped at both desks. The first guy had his choice of two half donuts on my middle fingers. That's right, I was able to give him a double donut middle finger. He now understood that I was completely done with his BS, but he never grabbed a donut. I explained the donuts are actually quite tasty, and urged him to take one, but Im sure I looked like a complete psycho. I was no longer able to stay in character. The good news - his refusal to take a donuts from my middle fingers ALSO allowe

6.

Text - The reaction of the last person is best described as completely frightened. That's right, I reached a complete breaking point over donuts, and scared the hell out of someone. Anyway, after this incident, I was never asked to buy donuts again.

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Tagged: bully , donuts , employee , Office , lol , story , funny
       
 

Tumblr Thread: Recipes From Around The World

This quick and entertaining Tumblr thread shines light on various recipe stereotypes from all corners of the globe. The comments section really stepped up to keep the train rolling with more hot takes on recipes. You be the judge on whether or not this is an accurate reflection of different recipes as they're typically known to specific cultures. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread about collateral damage caused by Mythbusters.

1.

Text - french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house thirdtimecharmed american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

2.

Text - svynakee chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. orriculum English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy dianetti Australian recipes: just... fcki ng put the sprinkles...on the bread... h oly shit fuccin gourmet cuisine right the re holy fuck

3.

Text - HonorlnDefeat • 22h • ACTIVATE THE QUAZARS! . Mexican Recipes: You will never get it the way abuelita makes it, just make Tex-Mex, idiot Tex-Mex Recipes: You are eating spice. Fucking spicy food. It's hot as shit. All other foods are wimpy little snowflakes for not putting as much spiciness on food as we do. A dragon will manifest in your stomach and fucking ruin your life. Your tongue will fucking protest the south vietnamese government. Witches will sympathize with your charred and ruin

4.

Text - alxwak • 20h 1 Award The greek recipes are usually passed down through generations and are like the Asian ones. Me: puts a pinch of salt to the food Grandma: that's not enough Me: puts a second pinch Grandma: that's way too much! Me: how much should I have put? Grandma: you know. A pinch. Reply 197 ...

5.

Text - QuantumMemery01 • 21h • Not gay, BUT Brazillian recipes: don't even bother, we all know you'll just eat rice and beans again Reply 89 ...

6.

Text - AlpacaMan104•21h Dutch Recipes: throw a bunch of fuckin vegetables in a pot then flatten em Reply 93 ...

7.

Text - SteveHeist • 21h • Clueless Ace Babish recipes: Ok, first we need a calf. We need to raise it on a blend of 60% grass & 40% barley for maximum beef tenderness. While that's going, plant the corn stalks for the cornbread, and fertilize with a dead fish, seasoned to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Reply 188 ...

8.

Text - OdiiKii1313 • 19h • ÙwÚ Cuban recipes: Now, what you're gonna wanna do is take your entire spice rack and just dump everything on the food. Make sure to go extra hard on the olive oil and garlic. Now bake and serve with so many sides you literally explode, die of heart disease, and develop diabetes at the same time. Reply 60 ...

9.

Text - dormant_kerosene • 18h • femboy with a gun Indian Recipes: Contemplate. Go for a walk. Take a deep breath. See that garlic? You are that garlic. Take a bite out of it.

10.

Text - roseofhammerfell • 17h Midwestern USA Recipes: Take all the ingredients for any recipe, put them in a glass dish, and then add cheese. All the cheese. Cheese curds, shredded cheese, melted cheese, the works. Extra points if you also add mayo or tator tots. Bake for 20 minutes and call it a casserole. Reply 36 ...

11.

Text - SaraiHarada • 18h German recipes: Well, we wrote you instructions, but don't follow them. Just a bit. But not fully, you will need to change a few things. How much you ask? Until it feels right of course. Reply 31

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Teachers' "That's Amazing But Please Stop" Stories

Students are curious and motivated individuals especially when it comes to breaking the rules or mocking each other. They'll go to impressive lengths in order to tastefully vandalize restrooms or expertly cheat the system. You can't tell them it's the right thing to do, but it's at least impressive. To give the kids some credit, here's a Tumblr thread on a teacher who underestimated their students during a social experiment.

1.

Text - Text - TheOnlyVertigo 11.6k points · 4 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago 2 I teach a tech certification class here for a local non-profit. Just a week or so ago I was walking the students through using Task Scheduler in Windows when my phone started to blow up with emails. Turns out one of the students created a dozen scheduled tasks to send me an email every five minutes. Title: CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS Body: CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS You get the picture. Needless to say, his punish

2.

Text - hansol1986 9.9k points · 3 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago ESL teacher here. So I teach high school ESL class where most 4 of my students either don't speak any English or they speak very little. I had a student in there who was constantly disruptive and liked to bully the other kids to "establish his manliness". One day, the disruptive kid is doing his normal annoying shtick and out of nowhere, my quiet little Latina in the corner of the room, in the clearest pronounced English I've ever h

3.

Text - Text - the_procrastinata 7.5k points · 6 hours ago 8 My husband used to work in after school care. One time he saw two kids starting to fight in the sandpit. He headed over to try to calm them down, but while he was on his way, one kid ran at the other, who just calmly flipped the first kid over his head like a textbook martial arts move. My husband said he had to stop himself from shouting 'Wow! Great job!

4.

Text - Text - jdbrew 5.8k points · 3 hours ago & I had a classmate jump on the teachers computer and visit a website that would go full screen and make it seem like it was a Mac now instead of a PC. It was April's fools day and this was his prank. This was in like 2003, so security wasn't the conversation it is today. Anyway, he still got in trouble. The teacher got really angry and kind of yelled at him to sit down in the corner. She called in the vice principle, then the principle... then the

5.

Text - Text - Charlie24601 3.3k points · 3 hours ago I was a new teacher at a school that had a demerit system. Do something bad, get a demerit. At the end of the week, get punished for every demerit over three. One kid talked like a sailor. I gave LOTS of warnings to prevent him from being punished to hell and back, but that didn't phase him. So he got demerits. Friday rolled around... Kid: "Charlie24601, how many demerits do I have?" Me: "Four" Kid: "What?! What the hell for?!" Me: "Swearing"

6.

Text - Text - mgraunk 3.1k points 3 hours ago My coworker and I discovered that one of our students was running an underground crime syndicate selling individual Icebreaker mints for 50 cents a pop. We agreed not to punish him or inform the administration, but we did confront him privately and told him he needed to stop before it got him in trouble. He had about a half dozen employees and was selling at every grade level by the time we put an end to it. Kid was a C student at best, but he's defi

7.

Text - Text - VelociraptorNom 2.9k points · 5 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago Obligatory not me but I was there. Background: my principal was like mid fifties and always wearing suits. (Christian high school ayyyy). He also had a lazy eye and a pot belly. Nothing too out of the ordinary. We have spirit week and one of those days is twin day. So one kid decides to have a fucking mad lad day and dress up as our principal. Bonus points: he was the only kid at school with a lazy eye. So this little pu

8.

Text - teacherboymom3 20 points · 1 hour ago My students had one kid distract me while I was grading tests, and another took a photo of the answer key. They thought it was like Mission Impossible. I realized when I graded their tests. There were many that I suspected weren't ready; I was going to let them work through corrections for credit back. Well, too many did better on this than they should have. One kid in particular, who consistently made D's, no matter what I tried, made a B on this sto

9.

Text - Text - Hagisman 26 points · 2 hours ago Back in the day my friend found an exploit in the school laptops that allowed him administrator access. It was pretty clever. He brought it up to IT. Problem was it was very obscure and no one would have been looking for such an exploit unless... they wanted to bypass the school's security. So he got suspended.

10.

Text - 420dankmemer69 2.1k points · 6 hours ago Not a teacher, but when my mad lad English teacher was in school he was voted in by his peers as prefect after he promised them vending machines and pool tables, he then told everyone that he lied about putting in vending machines and pool tables and explained why democracy is inherently flawed

11.

Text - sionnach 1.5k points · 3 hours ago I can't remember the question that was asked of my niece (about 6 at the time), but she stood up in the class and said "Sister Bernadette's a bitch" (sister as in a nun). The teacher told my sister (normal sister, not a nun) that whilst she couldn't condone the behaviour, Sister Bernadette was in fact a total bitch. They had a good laugh about it.

12.

Text - Text - HunterE30 886 points · 6 hours ago I was the punished student. Here we have some little stick (about 3 cm long and 5mm diameter) firecrackers that if you scratch them to rough surface it will create a little cracking sound. I invented a magnificent way to let them explode, put the firecrackers below a stone then fricking stomp it, literally the sound was like a flat tire and actuallu a bit deafening. I try it outside my class, the principal was walking by, the whole school heard it

13.

Text - Text - eternallasting_ 665 points · 2 hours ago First 6 months of teaching. Grade 8 English. Kid did a 360 on one leg of his chair. I was impressed but gave him a time-out because it was dangerous. Part of the requirement for time out was that students identify what got them sent out in the first place. "I did a mad 360 on my chair but Miss said it wasn't safe". I've still got that time out sheet on my desk 2.5 years later. Yes, Ethan, it was a mad 360. But it was still dangerous.

14.

Text - Text - squeakyshoe89 595 points · 2 hours ago The first time I caught students cheating it was two 8th grade girls that had all of the same wrong answers on a vocabulary matching test. I pulled the girls aside after class to ask about it, and after some sheepish grins they both admitted that a third girl (their friend who was an A+ student) had fed them both incorrect answers on purpose. She screwed over her friends because she was pissed they were mooching! For punishment, the first two

15.

Text - Text - Zirael_Swallow 364 points · 3 hours ago Our class teacher (? Dunno whats the right word, he was basicly the teacher responsible for us) really had to hold back his laughter when punishing a guy in my class. That dude managed to redneck engineer a smoke bomb, that made the class room unusable for 2 days, in like 15 minutes. We all probably inhaled not so healthy fumes that day, but damn it was impressive, espeacially when comparing it to the YT tutorial he followed.

16.

Text - Text - tadeu_fo 296 points · 2 hours ago After grading an exam, I realized two students were cheating because they had the same answer. I knew who had copied since one of them had straight A all over the semester while the other was struggling. So, as I did not saw the cheat happening, I gave a chance to both come out and tell the truth and said: - Ok, the one who copied will receive 0 and the one who really did it will receive half the grade. So which of you really did the original answe

17.

Text - Text - AM_Conspiracy 293 points · 2 hours ago I'm not a teacher but a student who witnessed the whole event.Where I go to, you can get detention for drawing or vandalizing the school bathrooms. Anyways a friend of mine who happened to be an artist himself thought it would be a good idea to paint the Mona Lisa on one of the bathroom stalls and it was so impressive one might even think he copied and pasted the actual painting onto the stall. After lunch everyone was gathering around to look

18.

Text - Text - Bartigo 219 points · 3 hours ago In 9th grade our school got a vending mashine for softdrinks and water. They all were damn expensiv (3€ per 0,51) and the pledge (dont know if this is the right translation, money you get back when you return it...) was 0,5€. All students and most of the teachers said it was too expensiv and wanted it removed cause younger students spent all their lunch money on one Sprite. The mashine had a return slot for the empty bottles. So we ripped one label

19.

Text - Green_Giant25 24 points · 2 hours ago I'm an English teacher in Spain and one of my students (8y), started screaming and cursing at another student in near perfect English. I was so impressed by his pronunciation and use of the various abusive terms, I almost gave him a house point until I remembered I'm meant to be a responsible professional.

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Woman Takes Over Manager Position, Fails At Job, Power Trips, Gets Fired

It's funny, sometimes it seems like the most ignorant people are also the most prone to completely unwarranted power trips. This lady for instance, "took over" the manager position and proceeded to let her ego swell to such nauseating levels that she ended up costing her company thousands, while being blind to the very destruction that she caused. Fortunately, she was outed for her antics by an employee who was ready to take the pro revenge when the opportunity presented itself. 

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/CocktailsPerfected • 2y We've all had bad bosses before, right? Not sure if this is pro revenge, or petty revenge, but i figure i'd post it here. This does't paint me in a great light, but i was 18/19 at the time, and a dick. About 8 or 9 years ago, I worked retail in a small outdoor goods store (6 members of staff small). Ski stuff in the winter, Camping/hiking in the summer. I wasn't passionate about it, but a job's a job! The woman who hired me left pretty soon af

2.

Text - Lauren was the kind of girl we have all had the poor fortune to deal with at some point. Irresponsible, held power over you when it suited her, and tried painfully hard to be your best friend the next. Annoying at best as a supervisor, but abusive with her power as a manager. She started by changing people's shifts so she was never in the store during peak hours. She'd take the easy shifts when the store was dead, and would spend her time hanging out in the back office doing "important pa

3.

Text - The worst thing she did though, was abuse the 3 month probation rule. Off the top of my head, they went through 8 different members of staff over the course of 5 months. That might not sound a lot, but in a store of 6 employees, it wasn't a small amount. A member of staff would be hired, and would be doing great, and then all of a sudden "I'm sorry we don't need your services any more" and they were gone. "It's just not working out" - vanished. "I just don't think you're the right fit for

4.

Text - We then hired a woman called Kirsty, who was in her mid-late 30's and was a great person. Enthusiastic, a team player, great with customers. I mean pretty much EXACTLY what you want in a manager. However, when it was just me and Lauren, Lauren would go off on how she doesn't like Kirsty, how she thinking about getting rid of her unless her "attitude" improved etc, and I decided to step in. I got my phone, and hit record as Lauren went on another rant later on. "Here's the think Kirsty doe

5.

Text - That night I sent the video to Kirsty, telling her to make sure she was on her best behaviour, but she ended up taking the issue up with the area manager. He came to the store, called Lauren out. Told her that in the time she'd been in charge, the store had lost somewhere in the region of 15'000 - 20'000, they had to get the police involved against her "friend" who stole from the tills, and our store for some reason had one of the highest turnover rates in the country. He fired her on the

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Failures, Mistakes, Messes and Errors

Life has a lot of good things going for it, but it wouldn't be life if there weren't also the potential for huge and stupid mistakes. We try to do our best, but mistakes, failures, errors and blunders are bound to get in the way at some point. It could be a frisbee through the windshield or the dropping of a perfect lasagna. There are just too many flavors of chaos to know what to expect.

1.

Glove - I accidentally put my leather gloves in the washing machine

2.

Tree - My dumbass has been buying bay leaves when there's a bay tree outside my front door. I've lived here over a year. BAY LEAVES EMSS add to casseroles for a subtle kerb flaroue

3.

Transport - My friend works as an extra in movies and does stock photography.... just saw him pictured as a sex offender on a bus in Florida BUY SEK BE EXPOSE 60 247 TEXT OR CALL: 305 FIX STOP 56 FATSTORT STOPTRAFFICKING INFO HE VOMEN'S FUND 50

4.

Face - Yearbook photo from my first year as a teacher.

5.

Property - My wife said measure the door, I told her all doors are the same size...

6.

Cat - Today I was extremely sad and I thought "I can't wait to go home and see my cat, he will make me happy". Ok well I found out he was more depressed than me

7.

Skin - Man gets a tattoo he found on his pup, not knowing it means he's neutered

8.

Architecture - That's an unfortunate lighting outage... STDNEY & LOIS ESKENAZI HOSPITAL

9.

Motor vehicle - My dad's old truck got hit by a truck carrying old rotten potato slurry to a feed lot for cows. His passenger window was down....

10.

People - This kid ran into a lamppost while chasing his favourite soccer player rei LFC Standard Chartered

11.

Soil - I work at a small coffee shop. My boss just absent-mindedly poured unroasted beans into a batch of roasted ones. Here's us separating 10,000 beans...by hand. 18 qt. 15L 16 qt. 12 gt. 1OL-

12.

Architecture - We found my wife's phone in the toilet yesterday. We weren't sure which of our three kids put it there..until my wife scrolled through her pictures today. .....

13.

Hair - Hair clippers died

14.

Lock - Walking to my first job this morning with a fresh cup of coffee. That's not cream, it's a crow shit hole in one. CAUTION STENMON-COM CONENIS HOT CHAUD

15.

Product - Ripped off what I thought was protective plastic from a new monitor. It was the polarizing film.

16.

Face - The lady at the courthouse neglected to tell me I was looking at the wrong camera. IOWA DRIVER LICENSE 4a iss02/20/2020 4b Exp 15 Sex F 16Hgt 5'-06" 18Eye 9. 12 3 DOB 01/31"

17.

Adaptation - Someone accidentally set off the fire suppression system in a military hanger

18.

Sky - This photo my dad took of me at Machu Picchu

19.

Purple - Good morning...

20.

Pattern - Whipped myself into a frustrated rage trying to find my drill for half an hour.

21.

Floor - Went into my attic looking for a water leak coming into my living room and it appears that I'm also in quarantine with this whatever monstrosity left this behind. Its soft to the touch so I'm assuming it's still around.

22.

Text - I'm a Wedding DJ and this was listed in thier do not playlist Exit Song: N/A Do Not Play List: (please list any unwanted wedding songs below) Please DO NOT PLAY HAPPY by Ferrel, this was awkwardly played at a family member's funeral, it will not go over well if played at the wedding.

23.

Grass - Spraying weed killer instead of weed n feed

24.

Electronics - God damnit.

25.

Vehicle - Forgetting to roll up the window all the way

26.

Waist - Got home from work today. Realized I've been walking around meeting clients with a giant 6-7 in rip in my pants that no one said anything about. So I figured the internet should also know.

27.

Land vehicle - Wife got assigned a random tag at the dmv. Didn't read it til she got home. RםחHYU TUCSON AYFLORIDA.COM 1120 YOO GAY -IN GOD WE TRUST

28.

Floor - I made a lasagna for lunch. Here's the result.

29.

Bead - My girlfriend opened her jewelry making box upside down VICTORIAS Bath Lysol 244ty we lvptu TSAL on- rature s Most CI Beautifying Superfood

30.

Automotive exterior - See that tiny sliver of metal in the gap? Those are my car keys that I locked in the groove of my trunk.

31.

Product - With my remaining 3% battery on my phone, I post this

32.

Label - Ordered a stamp, guess the photo didn't work Linked image not found ExceIMark Linked image not found

33.

Bed - Guess I don't actually own a queen size mattress

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Tagged: Sad , error , failure , wtf , lol , ridiculous , mess , mistake
       
 

Tumblr Thread: Collateral Damage Caused by Mythbusters

Just about anyone who lived through the mid-2000s remembers the explosive shenanigans of the Mythbusters. They built stuff, dropped stuff, shot stuff, and blew stuff up for science. Btw, here's an amazing tumblr story about the fastest manmade object ever. It was a manhole cover. Amazingly with the Mythbusters and all their explosions, there wasn't too much private property damage. Or so we thought. This tumblr thread explains some of the extra collateral damage the Mythbusters achieved. And also, we dearly miss Grant.

1.

Community - pancakeke Follow this episode of mythbusters started with an apology holy shit pancakeke Follow Vote a THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE STARTING OFF WITH AN APOLOGY,

2.

Fictional character - MUNZ ef LASKA 10 BECAUSE IT WAS DURING THE FILMING OF THIS EPISODE UNY LASKA THAT A CANNONBALL ACCIDENTALLY WENT THROUGH SOMEONE'S HOUSE.

3.

Text - switch-up-snowfox Follow Oh the cannonball ain't nothin compared to the esparto incident. nate2247 Follow The what now switch-up-snowfox Follow They were testing the phrase "knock your socks off" and because its the mythbusters build team (which consists of 3 boom addicted gremlins) they decided to go to a quarry near Esparto california to test the myth by blowing shit up. This time they got 500 pounds of ANFO. The detonation was pretty damn big.

4.

Text - They started getting phone calls, turns out they and the experts underestimated the size of the kaboom, reports of broken windows, car alarms going off, people getting knocked out of their seats, hell one news station reported that they leveled the town. According to grant, that's why they can no longer go back to esparto. nate2247 Follow LMFAO nobody can rival the power of the mythbusters switch-up-snowfox Follow I've seen people talk about how adam and jamie are the polar opposite in en

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Mom Gets Tricked Into Praising Kid's Cooking

What's really messed up about this petty revenge is the fact that mom's support literally had to be tricked out of her. That's no good. She should've been giving her kid the morale boost from the get go. Either way, was definitely satisfying to see mom get tricked. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge u/ThrowRA-Barber • 1d + Join Tricked my mom into finally admitting that my cooking was good. I've been enrolled in a cooking school for over year and my mom, she's never been supportive. Because i dropped out of a nursing program to get into a cooking school. She's always making snide comments about how i should've been a nurse or a lawyer, or how i'll only ever be a subservient housewife with this, and when i do make something, she always crizicizes it. Like she's Gordon R

2.

Text - I've cooked 3 course dinners for the family and they always get positive reviews, except for her. She had a party for her work friends, I made a whole tray of my specialty take on homemade meatballs (A recipe i conceptualized myself, my signature dish). Everyone kept going back and getting more, so many that they ran out. I asked mom what she thought, she said "They were drunk, they couldn't taste anything."

3.

Text - So, i figured if i wanted to get her to compliment my cooking, i'd have to trick her. I cooked her a meal, one of her favorites from scratch, her biggest weakness that she can never resist. Dressed it up to look professional and put it in a generic To-Go Box and had my boyfriend take video of me preparing it, start to finish. I called her and told her that my boyfriend and i were eating at this diner (that doesn't exist), made up a fake name for it and everything. I told her they had her

4.

Text - Her tone changed. She put the fork down and said she was lying, that it tasted like crap. My boyfriend showed her the video, she googled the restaurant and it didn't show up. She started pointing out flaws with the meal, like how there was too much sauce and it was really spicy and burned her mouth. I asked her why she almost finished the whole thing if it was so spicy. She didn't say anything, so i just asked her if she was ready to admit it. She said no, so we left but i spotted her eat

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Wrestler Uses Madonna For Entrance Song, Crowd Loves It

 

Talk about a truly spectacular entrance. It doesn't get much better than this. The crowd was absolutely electric. 

       
 
 
   
   
   

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