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2020/09/01

Weather Map Goes Crazy Live and more...

He didn't miss a beat when the technology failed like it did. Kudos to the dude for keeping a straight face as well.
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Weather Map Goes Crazy Live and more...


 In This Issue...



Weather Map Goes Crazy Live

 

He didn't miss a beat when the technology failed like it did. Kudos to the dude for keeping a straight face as well. 

Submitted by: (via FOX 10 Phoenix)

       
 

Woman Walks Into Spiderweb, Spider Wins

 

Sometimes we walk outside, into a spiderweb, and realize that that was enough outside for the day. It would appear that this woman experienced one of those times. We're glad she was able to walk it off. 

Submitted by: (via nddomer199)

Tagged: spiders , insects , whoops , FAIL , painful
       
 

Twitter Thread: Grinch Is The World's Goodest Boy

Blair Braverman'sTwitter thread about her adventure with a loving, big hearted good boy named Grinch is pure wholesome gold. Lost it at the one liner about how Grinch basically waited out the span of his short-term memory so that he no longer recalled turning around. 

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Adaptation - @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 I want to tell you a story about Grinch. Blair Braverman 206 27 2.992 6.136 Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 This is Grinch. 20 27 305 2.391

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Dog breed - Blair Braverman @. · 11. Okt. 2018 Grinch is a sled dog. 27 37 1.743 Blair Braverman @. · 11. Okt. 2018 Grinch is very strong.

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Canidae - 5 27 15 1.612 Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 He has the biggest heart of any dog I've ever met- 27 57 2.397 LO 00

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Dog breed - Blair Braverman @BlairBraverman -and he's dumb as a box of rocks. 5:34 vorm. · 11. Okt. 2018 · Twitter for iPhone <>

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Adaptation - Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 Antwort an @BlairBraverman One time he barreled through a herd of wild turkeys to pee on a lamppost. He did not notice the turkeys. 22 27 75 2.652

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Canidae - @. · 11. Okt. 2018 Another time, the dogs were resting in a Blair Braverman baseball diamond between 40-mile runs and he barked WAKE UP LET'S GO so many times that he had to go in exile by the fence so that his teammates could sleep. 27 19 2.305 23

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Wildlife - Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 Grinch likes to pee on things. 27 15 1.485

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Dog breed - Blair Braverman @... · 11. Okt. 2018 He likes attention. 9. 27 28 2.101

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Photography - @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 And he likes pulling things! Which is what we took him to do the other night. Blair Braverman 27 14 1.650 Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 We're using a wheeled cart for dryland training, since we don't have snow right now. 2 1.166 @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 Historically, Grinch has had some issues Blair Braverman with the cart. 11 27 50 2.299 Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 But the other night, as we set out, everything seemed great. Grinch ran with Jenga, gall

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Text - Blair Braverman @. · 11. Okt. 2018 But we did not go. 8. 1.433

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Text - Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 Grinch was ready to run. "ABBWABABAA!" he screamed. 11 2I 140 2.753 @... · 11. Okt. 2018 "Cool!" I told him. "I'm with you on that. Let's Blair Braverman go!" 1 1.377

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Text - Blair Braverman @... · 11. Okt. 2018 But we did not go. 14 27 16 1.608 Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 Finally, I realized. 27 7 1.137 Blair Braverman @... · 11. Okt. 2018 Grinch was confused. 3 27 9 1.312

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Text - Blair Braverman @. · 11. Okt. 2018 Guys, we'd been running in one direction. And now we were facing the other direction. It was very confusing. 19 27 22 2.033 Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 To be clear, there is no brake on the cart. The only reason it wasn't moving is because Grinch wasn't running. cc Add Subtitles 0:18110.532 Mal angezeigt he could just run. niyni, Jelnya: 30 27 76 2.662

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Canidae - Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 Jenga was like "omfg Bler tell me this is a joke" O 42 27 113 4.294

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Text - Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 I kept thinking that Grinch would figure it out. cc Add Subtitles 0:16ot 122.129 Mal angezeigt we're facing a üiiiereni airection ihan we went before 30 27 127 2.906

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Text - Blair Braverman @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 After a solid 20 minutes, during which time Jenga aged ten years, Grinch suddenly started running. I think that we basically waited out the span of his short-term memory so that he no longer recalled having turned around. 54 27 145 4.727

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Text - Blair Braverman @... · 11. Okt. 2018 Success! 0:01 87.055 Mal angezeigt 17 27 23 2.424

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Nose - @.. · 11. Okt. 2018 And that, my friends, is the story of how Grinch saved the day and got us home. Blair Braverman The End. 106 27 59 4.717

Submitted by:

       
 

Careless Step Mom Learns Her Lesson

People that have the audacity to invite themselves over, and then refuse to follow the house rules are something else. This insensitive step mom used all the water during a gnarly drought, so a glorious case of petty revenge ensued. Check out another glorious case of pro revenge with this aggressive girlfriend who had the nerve to steal from her ex's bank account.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/bubonicplagiarism • 9h 適1 Wicked witch of the water Not too long ago we were in the grip of one of the worst droughts I have ever seen. Many of the old timers said it was the worst they'd ever seen it, so yeah, it was bad. We live on rainwater that we catch off the house and shed roof and store in tanks. At this time it's been well over 18 months since the last time it rained, so we are buying in water for the stock and being very, very frugal with our water ration

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Text - Christmas rolls around and my (now ex) stepmother invites herself out to the farm to stay with us. She is one of those people who has done everything better, and if she hasn't, her perfect daughter has. She is never wrong, you can't have a reasonable conversation with her, and she is completely oblivious to the fact that nobody likes her, we simply tolerate her for Dads sake. So the first morning she takes a 20 minute shower. Stock all over the district are dying for lack of feed and wate

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Text - There had been huge charity drives, delivering feed to farmers all over the place. We were going out daily to shoot weakening stock. It is one of the worst points in my life. I hope we never sink so low again, but such is the life of a farmer in this country. So after she emerges from the bathroom, (I had been pounding on the door for over 15 minutes), I tell her - "you won't be able to take another shower for 3 days. Top and tail in the sink, and when you are allowed to shower again, 2 m

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Text - Well the tantrum erupts. "But its so hot and dusty out here!" (Rural Australia during a drought, I don't know what she was expecting...) Then she decides that the 2 tea cups, a teaspoon and a sideplate on the kitchen sink need to be washed immediately. I catch her filling the sink. "What are you doing? Haven't you heard there's a drought? You cant go wasting water, we dont have enough!!!" "Oh, I don't know how you can live this way. Surely my using a bit of water won't make any difference

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Text - By the 3rd morning of her visit we are run dry. "Ahhh! What happened??? I was just washing my hair and the water started coming out dirty then it stopped!!!" "I told ya! We are out of water. You've used more water than the 5 of us would use in a fortnight, in less than 2 days!"

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Text - Here's where the pettiness comes in. I had organised a truckload of water to be delivered to the stock tanks a few days before the wicked witch arrived. So any time we needed water, we would sneak off down to the shearers quarters (which run off the stock tanks) and use our water in our frugal way, delighted in knowing she had no idea. I sent her to town to buy bottled water for all of us, then each evening I took long leisurely sponge baths, filling my basin up in front of her, using up

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Text - After 2 days of buying bottled water and no showers, she decided she would rather run the tap than visit with family, so she buggered off back home. I had never been so happy to see her leave. It's now 9 months later and we are living in a swamp. I'm sitting out on the verandah now, listening to the frogs croaking in the sodden paddocks. And the best part is, Dad finally left her and I never have to see her again. TL;DR evil step monster uses all of our water in a drought. I use all the b

Submitted by:

       
 

Masterful Comebacks That Held Nothing Back

As long as social media has been around we've had fools sharing mindless sentiments that would've been a whole lot better never having been spoken into the endless online void, to begin with. These well constructed comebacks brought pure fire to the comments section. Hopefully these folks learned their lessons in the value of thinking before one tweets/shares a status. 

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Text - Adam Carriker O PE9 @AdamCarriker94 A child ripped up their allowance because he wasn't happy with the amount. His mom walked out of her room and saw this. What would you do if this was your child's behavior? Jade, MPH @megustaJade Keep it and give him a piece of it anytime he asks for money Imao

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Text - r/AskReddit Posted by u/theredditwill, • 4m For 24 hours all crimes are legal. What crimes will you be commiting? 6 A Share SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL kurtduds · 3m None, because they're now legal + Reply + Vote theredditwill • 1m Listen here you little shit

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Text - TIL that in 2002, a researcher found that the average 8-year-old British child could identify 80% of Pokémon, but only 50% of common wildlife species via reddit.com sirobvious Common wildlife species don't normally yell their names at you

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Text - are you sure your name isn't WIFI? Today 2:35 PM Pretty sure that'll be why I'm not getting a connection then. That was super lame. Got any better pick up lines? What did the 1 say to the 10? What?? That was super lame. Got any better pick up lines?

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Text - March 11 At People just join the military because there too dumb to go to college... Like Comment Share Be the first person to like this. "They're March 11 Like 5

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Text - r/Showerthoughts Posted by ' i 2 3 1 Lions are so badass, they became king of the jungle without even living there. ↑ 40.7k 530 Share Award X BEST COMMENTS ▼ 5 Awards • Jungle is an Indian term for "wasteland" / untamed areas. • British Empire adopted it to mean any areas that they considered untamed • https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lion_Sleeps_Tonight Song was written in 1920s by a South African who would consider the Savannah a "jungle" • Later, the idea of a jungles slowly came to

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Text - hilde_01 • 1h My mom's screen brightness is brighter than my future Reply 1 58 d_u_c_k_ • 43m Your mom's screen doesn't even have to be on for that to be true. 1 34 20the4 • 19m bruh you didn't have to do him like that 8 Ap125679 · 5m Ladies and gentlemen we have just witnessed a murder Vote

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Text - B.o.BO @bobatl 2* Follow The cities in the background are approx. 16miles apart... where is the curve ? please explain this murderedbywords With the circumference of 24901 miles, you are looking at a curvature of around .2 degrees, or a little more than 10 feet at 16 miles away. May I say, that curvature is still significantly higher than your IQ. 4d 4 likes Reply

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Text - Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski · May 15 And @VitaCoco don't come at me with your shit is pressed or comes from the finest baby coconuts. Your shit is nasty like all coconut water. O 45 t7 120 O 934 Vita Coco O @VitaCoco · May 15 VITA COCO Let us send you some, don't knock it till you try it. 59 t7 152 O 1.1K Tony Posnanski O @tonyposnanski · May 15 Fuck that. Save that nasty shit for someone else. I would rather drink your social media persons piss than coconut water. Q 28 t7 541 O 1.8K VI

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Text - Wendy's O @Wendys · 1h It's go time! You want the roast? Then let's go! #NationalRoastDay 5,516 27 1,218 7,117 Hooters @Hooters · 46m Whatcha got? 277 201 Wendy's O @Wendys Replying to @Hooters Uniforms our employees can wear in the winter. 9:40 PM · 04 Jan 19 · Twitter Web Client 87 Retweets 920 Likes

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Guy Accidentally Eats $420 Worth of Beef

Thinking he was making the more affordable choice, this guy accidentally ate himself a few hundred dollar's worth of high-end beef. Without the knowledge that this is how restaurants price this stuff, we would probably have made the same mistake. For some other things to not buy, here are absurdly overpriced things people have seen.

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Text - Posted by u/Belt_Around_Ur_Neck 14 hours ago TIFU by not reading the menu carefully at Gordon Ramsay's steakhouse S So my girlfriend and I are in Atlantic City for two nights, our first vacation of any sort since COVID-19 started. We made reservations tonight for outdoor poolside dining at Gordon Ramsay Steak at the Harrah's. We were there last year when things were normal and were lucky this was one of the few restaurants open and with good outdoor dining (the Morton's Steakhouse has tab

2.

Text - As such, I figured I'd splurge and get some Wagyu beef. Well, they had real deal Japanese A5 Kobe on the menu - and it was cheaper than American Wagyu! The Kobe was only $35 for 4 oz instead of $80 for 8 oz of Wagyu. So I'm a big guy, I'm hungry, so I order 12 oz of Kobe. The steak was amazing. I'm in my 40s and only had Wagyu before in my life, just twice. I had never had real deal Kobe. It was like nothing else you'll ever have. Melt in your mouth delicious. We also ordered a couple of

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Text - Or so I thought. I had to read the menu again when the bill came, because for 2 people, the bill was over $600.00!!! Turns out the Japanese A5 was $35 per ounce with a 4 oz minimum purchase size, not $35 for 4 oz. So, TL;DR, today i fucked up by accidentally ordering, and eating, a $420.00 steak Edit: I wish Chef Ramsay was there to come out and call me a donut for fucking this up lol. 1 F 3 1 10 8 2 6. 1 8 2 LO

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Text - 8/31/2020 17:26 Gordon Ramsay Steak Check: 1319258 Server: JENNIFER Terminal: 131 Table: 13 Guests: 2 HAC Regular 1 Butternut Squash 1 Beef Tartar 1 Japanese A5 12oz 1 Beef Wellington 1 Cream Spinach 1 Mac & Cheese 1 Fingerling Potat 1 French 76 1 Innis & Gunn Bou 15.00 22.00 420.00 56.00 13.00 13.00 13.00 15.00 9.00 Subtotal Tax Total 576.00 38.88 614.88 ********* *****

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Text - strangedazeindeed 2.2k points · 15 hours ago You should have ordered the fucking donkey

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Text - Handsomelakitu 18.5k points · 12 hours ago What you bought was a $600 story. For the rest of your life, every time someone says 'this is good steak' you can say 'Yeah, but..'

Submitted by:

       
 

Twitter Thread: Loyal Friend Bears Ridicule to Help Friend in School

Twitter user baileyanastas tells the story of a friend who went above and beyond for their extremely anxious friend in class. We have friends who say that they would "die for you, bro," but what about the ones who would risk looking really dumb for you? That's a mark of some good friendship.

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Unforgivably Disrespectful Things Done By Houseguests

Almost everyone understands that you should be respectful in someone else's home, or at least that you shouldn't drink all their good beer and clog all of their toilets. There are however an uninvited few houseguests who do rude and annoying things. People have a hard time forgetting slights like this, which lead to some petty injustices that people stay salty about.

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Text - princessblowhole 4.1k points · 17 hours ago Not my home, but leaving trash in my car. I fucking HATE it when people do that.

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Text - wicked_witch69 2.0k points · 16 hours ago Swung from my ceiling fan and ripped it out of the ceiling. Like just reached up, grabbed it, hung on for dear life until it crashed to the floor on top of him.

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Text - Fragrant-Dingo 83 points · 15 hours ago My sisters boyfriend - had an argument with my sister.. and he left a hole in the door (punching it) safe to say I hated him after that. Even him breathing the same air as me I can't stand anymore.

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Text - Qwinlyn 1.6k points · 17 hours ago One of my cousins poured a full can of cola over my arcade stick controller for my Genesis back in the day. I'm still salty about that one. Specially cause they made me lie to my parents and say it was an accident when I watched them do it from around the corner. My extended family was not allowed in the house ever again. I guess the adults had a thing too. No idea what, but I can imagine.

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Text - AlbinoSpoon7128 166 points · 16 hours ago Ate spaghetti with his hands.

Submitted by:

       
 

Mad Lads That Are Agents Of Pure Chaos

Oh boy, buckle on up for a rollercoaster of pure and unadulterated madness. Yes, we're talking about the mad lads of the world. Those lads that are agents of chaos, and consistently defy expectations. They're reckless, fearless, and very good at irritating other people online. Like that one dude with the great one-liner that got him booted from the Flat Earther group. Dang shame, really. 

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Text - So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. flamefriendsshipped If this gets notes l'll tell the full story fandomlovingweirdo Storu flamefriendsshipped Na Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars. The only thing separating the

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Text - public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass. My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn't taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands. She bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the dril

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Text - wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit. Literally no one even questioned her. She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss's office. She dropped the folder on his desk and said "I just stole these in 15 minutes" Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security. Source: flamefriendsshipped

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Text - pokimane @pokimanelol forever stuck between wanting to look fit and wanting to fit 5 whole pizzas in my mouth 18:14 21 Oct 19 Twitter Web Client 1,591 Retweets 19.1K Likes 5 whole pizzas @ ronse_ 3h kimanelol Rep hey 36 27 90 1,341 pokimane O @pokimanelol · 2h omg.. O reddit

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Text - Rover Hendrix @audrocur guy joined zoom class shirtless and the tutor told him to turn his video off and so he did and it just displayed his profile pic of him shirtless at the beach <>

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Text - thatsthat24 setheverman Follow hungwy Wish there were sweaters but like, for feet enecoo socks hungwy make your own post Source: hungwy 145,585 notes thatsthat24 setheverman Follow enecoo socks Source: enec00 > D E O 115,892 notes

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Text - r/facts Posted by u/SonofQuora • 16h In 2016, Cards Against Humanity raised 106K just to dig a hole as deep as possible and then filled it. There was no purpose. They never explained it. And they refused to donate it to charity per the Twitter mob. The construction company owner said it was the strangest project they'd ever done. Source: Cards Against Humanity Dug a Huge, Pointless Hole for $100k

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So my work is giving away these yellow good boy tickets for people who go above and beyond. You write your name on the back, drop it in a bucket, and then they have a drawing for prizes at the end of the week. Also found these on Amazon. My weekend plans are now set. 1 89% 8:37 AM amazon.com/Yellow-Star-Sir Visit the Fun Express Store Yellow Star Single Roll Tickets (2000 Tickets per roll) Party Supplies 111

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Text - Macaulay Culkin @IncredibleCulk Hey guys, wanna feel old? I'm 40. You're welcome. 23:13 · 26 Aug 20 · Twitter Web App 385K Retweets and comments 2M Likes Macaulay Culkin o @IncredibleCulk · 11h It's my gift to the world: I make people feel old. I'm no longer a kid, that's my job. 1,459 t3 10.2K 154K

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Text - lan Sausage @stephenjmolloy 3S @NatGeo Can you please follow me back so I can DM you? I've got some new research that is going to blow your mind! Following National Geographic O @NatGeo Follows you Ducks don't actually float. Their legs are so long that they are able to walk on the river bed. 3:27 pm / @NatGeo You are blocked from following

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Text - r/AskReddit Posted by u/TheHornyMangaka · 2m What is the most Mad Lad thing you've ever done? Vote 1 Share BEST COMMENTS - TheHornyMangaka • 1m 3 1 Award Replied to my own post and got a silver Reply 1 Vote

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Text - thedominoswizard Follow Clue: The Movie's multiple endings are fucking classic and i will stand by that fact until the day that i die, but hearing that they only played one ending each in the theatrical release is the funniest fucking thing ever. imagine seeing a great movie and going to talk about it with your friends/family/ coworkers but none of you can agree on how it ended. and they did this in 1985, the absolute madmen Source: thedominoswizard 62,529 notes

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Text - • 7 months ago (edited) T once had a hacker on 2fort named "Level 2 Sentry". He played heavy. He would act exactly as a sentry. Aimbot, only use sandvich when an engi wrench hits him, can't see invis or disguised spies ( even if u r obviously a spy), cant move without engi, would die if sapped ( you'd have to say u were sapping him for him to die). Eventually he left the server (comkunity server) and hasnt come back. He was a fun hacker. 4.8K 目 106

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Face - I prerecorded myself in video meetings for a week (and nobody knew) 216K views · 2 weeks ago + 17K 129 Share Download Save CNET c/net SUBSCRIBE 2.69M subscribers Comments 659 Now,. Is this pre recorded as well??

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Text - Chronic Insomniac @HoneyCinnamon_ My uncle just sent a message in the family group asking for money. I privately messaged him asking for banking details so I can deposit it. He responded saying he doesn't actually need money. He asked for money so that nobody in the family would ask him for money

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Text - Guu (u-- Guy sharply braked in front of me and I hit him. We both pulled over and checked the minimal damage to our old piece of shit cars and said fuck it. Dude shit

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Text - Whats a harmless prank to play on your friends? 15 1 6. 18 7 69.0k 13.0k Share SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL iusuallylie · 8h 31 Awards After they leave your place text them 'you forgot your phone here' Reply 1 56.3k V_lo_ol_V•6h 4 Awards Bonus point if you take a picture of their phone on your kitchen table (before they leave) and send it with the text. 40.9k

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Text - Kevin Shanks O @forensictoxguy I just got kicked out of a flat earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline had pushed anyone over the edge yet. 8:18 AM · 8/2/20 · Twitter for iPhone 12.1K Retweets and comments 90.4K Likes

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Text - Mark Hamill ... @HamillHimself Wes Parker @the_wes_parker · 5/2/19 I'm at the point where @HamillHimself could tweet a period and l'd favorite that shit 8:18 AM · 8/22/20 · Twitter Web App 376 Retweets and comments 7,045 Likes

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Text - my-soulmate-is-dave-strider: clapchat: so my brother only has one eye and one time in art class the teacher said “draw your neighbors eye" so he took his fake eye out and sat it on the girls desk that was sitting next to him and she screamed and started crying Your brother is golden

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Absurd, Extremely Aggressive and Arbitrary Tough Guy Shirts

You're allowed to wear any kind of shirt you want, and everyone else is allowed to look at it and say that you're trying too hard. Across every level of society, there's someone who wants to wear extremely threatening shirts, and what they are about doesn't even really matter. Sure, a lot of them are basic "I am a living weapon" kind of stuff, but interestingly enough, people also share the same defensive views about being in a bowling club, owning a horse, self-identifying as an asshole or being afraid of their wife. Sometimes it just seems like a challenge to see how many fonts can fit on the same shirt.

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T-shirt - Cool Col Story Sto Babe Babe Now make me a sand Now make me as AYARLY

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Standing - MOANDE -01 03- ENARDS Snraity PASTOR BECAUSE HARDCORE DEVIL STOMPING NINJA SAT AN OFFICIAL JOB TITLE RN ME To

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Tagged: Badass , wtf , aggressive , t shirts , lol , shirt , tough , weird
       
 

Pub Owner Snipes Dishonest Review With Cold Hard Facts

Dishonest reviews that try to stain the reputation of perfectly good establishments with hard working employees just trying to earn an honest living, are a poison to the world. Fortunately, owners will step in and address these dishonest reviews with all the cold hard logic and facts that they have at their disposal. This particular scenario involves a nightmare of a dinner party that made a mess of everything around them, and then had the inconceivable audacity to leave a bad review, after the pub did everything they could to accommodate the year's most senseless customers. 

Check out another case of a customer leaving a dishonest review, and then getting shut down.

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Text - is feeling angry at The Cowshed at Hucknall. Went here yesterday for sister in laws 50th lovely little bar - spent approx £700 between us on drinks and pizza - to be served by some members of staff with awful attitude - to be told we must drink up and leave can't come back because one member of our party was too drunk - to be them apologised to because someone had told them we were all too drunk - take in to account the money we had spent - to be them told half and hour later the owners w

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Text - The Cowshed at Hucknall COWSHED Pub/Bar Hucknall 309 people checked in here Hi, thanks for reaching out! We love feedback, whether it be positive or negative, we especially love feedback like this so others can see the type of people we have to deal with sometimes. First of all, I'll address the "£700" that you and your party claim to have spent... now, we both know this isn't true don't we,.. it's not even remotely accurate as to what you spent, but l'll crunch the numbers for you.

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Text - Our most expensive pizza on the menu is £9.00, this means that if you ordered only pizzas, you'd have to order 77 of them to be even close to spending £700. You didn't order 77 pizzas, But let's talk drinks... the most expensive drink we sell is a double gin & mixer at £6.10, this means you'd have to order 115 of these to be even close to spending £700. You didn't order 115 double gin & mixers. So let's split the difference, seeing as you had spent the "£700" on both pizzas and drinks...

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Text - of our most expensive pizzas and 57 of our most expensive drinks to have spent £700 at our bar. You ordered nowhere near this,. not even close. So seeing as you are having trouble with your memory & maths, I went over our point of sale system this afternoon for you, along with viewing our footage of your party on CCTV and our copy of your receipts. What you & your party spent, a far more realistic and believable £280 (E£225 on 5 was rounds of drinks and £55 on 8 pizzas). If you are going

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Text - least make it a believable one. Not going great for you so far is it,?. But let's move on to you & your party's behavior. With the ironic exception of the young adults that were with your group and one or two others, you all acted like belligerent, entitled little toddlers from the moment you walked through our gates. You wanted to make a reservation for 3 tables, we informed you this wasn't possible on a Saturday night for a group so large, but if you turned up the moment we opened at pm

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Text - you'd requested. At 4:30pm you showed up with the tables you wanted already taken, but not to worry, we shuffled other customers about at your request in order to accommodate you. Then you proceeded to pull our light fittings loose off our boundary fence in order to hang you birthday decor up along with the several bags of party bunting you brought with you. We allowed members of your party to bring in food from other venues to circumvent their food allergies. We |cleaned up all the smash

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Text - our tables & benches, and tolerated the many loud family rows you were having with each other. Rather than treat our staff like human beings that are just trying to earn a wage, you decided to treat them like your own personal servants, clicking your fingers, shouting, swearing and barking your orders at them, to the point one was almost in tears and refused to deal with you any more. You were constantly being warned by our door staff

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Text - about staying seated and observing social distancing, of which you refused to do either. You were the loudest, most obnoxious group in the whole bar, just being a nuisance in general and other customers were starting to complain about you at this point. Then, for your party's grand finale, the gentleman in the blue shirt headed into our bar from outside and decided to vomit everywhere but the toilet. Our staff stepped into to help, but you demanded to "deal with the

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Text - situation" and rather than clean up the mess, proceeded to smear it over an even wider area with our mop, whilst.. once again, being loud, rude, sticking your hand in our staff's faces and shouting over anybody who was trying to communicate with you or help. (don't worry, the staff member that you nearly had in tears earlier on cleaned it up for you)

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Text - We'd love to have the reviews feature on our page turned on, but people like you are the very reason we don't, because there is no way to negate them once they are left, whether they are a fair review or not. Nobody... not staff, door supervisors or myself had barred you that night, after all, nobody was hurt, and we've all drank too much and regretted it the

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Text - next day. We don't bar paying customers on a whim. You could have come back, apologized, been given the "don't let it happen again" speech we've all had at one point or another and we'd have all moved on, but no... instead you ran straight to the internet, played victim, and told a pack of lies. So now consider this your official barring... don't you or your group ever set foot through our doors again. Also, as a side note, you were pretty much anonymous to us, nobody knew any of your

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Text - names. But now you've formally identified yourself by checking in to our bar via our business page, your face & the faces & details of all your group have been forwarded to Hucknall's pubwatch scheme, so you can expect some pushback from all the other bar owners, landlords & venues throughout Hucknall on your next visit. My only regret was not kicking you all out sooner. To anybody else reading this who would like to view exactly how not to behave in a bar during a global pandemiewith hea

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Text - To anybody else reading this who would like to view exactly how not to behave in a bar during a global pandemic with heavy social and footfall restrictions in place, (or how not to behave in public in general) pop along to the bar and l'll gladly show you the highlights of our CCTV footage we have of this group. Sorry for the long post, folks, but this needed addressing. Lots of love as always.. Team Cowshed.

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The Hot, Spider-Filled Existential Dread of Tumblr's Australian Gothic

We've never lived in Australia, but if Tumblr's Australian rosetta stone is any indicator, it seems like an exciting place to be. Let this version of the place be a confusing warning of Australia-themed dread. That and the mortifying nopes of Australia drive home the whole "tons of spiders everywhere" thing.

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Tumblr Thread: Thomas The Pain Engine

Those poor trains. As it turns out, the world of Thomas the Tank Engine was much darker than it might've appeared at surface level. Yes, we're talking a dark dystopian zombie train apocalypse kind of setting. Poor Smudger legit got turned into a generator after refusing to show off. If that isn't some kind of twisted way to scare kids into following the rules for fear of grave punishments, I don't know what it is. Whole lot of yikes, indeed. 

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Text - frog-and-toad-are-friends My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that it canonically takes place in a train post-apocalypse where the Island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dystopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or cannibalized for repair If you think I'm kidding you need to read the original books leonfroid could you please direct me to a source? i would feel much better if this was validated.

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Text - frog-and-toad-are-friends It took me so long to find this quote online but I did it because it's so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine: ".Engines on the Other Railway aren't safe now. Their controllers are cruel. They don't like engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then," Percy nearly sobbed, "they.they c-c-cut them up." The Bluebells of England." Stepney the Bluebell Engine. Rev. Awdry, Wilbert. London: Egmont Publishing, 1963.

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Transport - This illustration, by Gunvor and Peter Edwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Other Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch.

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Text - daisydice HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCKING FACE OMG frog-and-toad-are-friends

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Text - zidanexv the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and illustrations. if you watched the show, it's like that in book form. the second half of the railway series are so fucking dark and surreal i'm convinced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of Isd and having hallucinations of his own death. frog-and-toad-are-friends Excuse me but the very first story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hide

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Arch - They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever.

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Text - shulamithbond On the show, didn't they also hook up one engine to a generator, so he'd never move again? That was literally one of the lines, I think. It's on some other post on here. It was chilling. frog-and-toad-are-friends Yes! This also happened in the books, to an engine referred to only as "No. 2', but the television series applied the same scenario to an invented character named "Smudger", in the episode "Granpuff".

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Text - "Smudger," said Duke. "Was a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails, I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice." "Listen, Dukie" he snared. "Who worries about a few spills?" "We do here! I said, but Smudger just laughed." "Hahaha!" "Until one day, Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then!" "W-w-why? What did he do?!" "He turned him into a generator. He's still there behind our shed. He'll never move again."

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Text - deducecanoe This is so fucked up unclewhisky No, listen. Okay, so we see Railway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly it's so much worse in the Other Railways? I mean, sure, you might get turned into a generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as you're told, but at least you're not cut up and sold for parts, right? It's not so bad on the island of Sodor, right? Or maybe that's just what Railway Management wants the engines to think.

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Text - Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, illustrated in hellish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways. You are lucky to be an engine of Sodor. Railway Management cares about you. Trust Railway Management. Stay on Your Track. It Could Be So Much Worse. coralinethepaganangel Wtf the fuck is this train based 1984 bullshit Source: frog-and-toad-are-friends 320,440 notes

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Best "Forgot To Turn Off The Mic" Stories From Students On Zoom

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about students' most unforgettable moments when they forgot to turn off their mics, during Zoom calls. As we all muddle through this chaotic time, it's inevitable that the academic world is experiencing its fair share of hiccups. Those Zoom calls can inspire some amazingly funny fails. 

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Text - daemare • 23h 2 Awards I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch. My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites. One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem: "Shhhh. Mommy is learning about fish parasites, which is what you'll get if you don't stop peeing in the koi pond."

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Text - hlfblnd • 1d Some guy's mother started yelling at him : "Turn down the freaking sound, I am so sick of listening to your classes the whole day, go to the balcony and continue from there or just bloody drop out of uni" along with a set of few swear words. Our professor muted him so I don't really know what happened next. Reply 1.2k ...

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Text - MrSpyder_ • 1d 2 Awards Not really anything super weird - was in a meeting with my class for the first day of school, and I had forgotten to mute myself. I then proceeded to start noisily baby- talking my cat, who was in my lap at the time. Embarassing. Reply 1.5k ...

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Text - SonOfCoul27 • 1d '1 Award English Zoom call. Teacher was holding us like 15+ minutes after the period had ended. She said something along the lines of "keep working arduously" and I responded with "if she says arduously ONE MORE TIME I'm going to FLIP A TABLE" I was not on mute Reply 5.5k

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Text - ElectronicHeart-903 • 1d 12 Awards When I was doing an online Algebra camp, the teacher forgot to turn off his Mic while we were supposed to be doing some problems. He said "I fucking hate math." Reply 22.3k ...

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Text - solo1024 • 1d 9 N S 37 Awards So I have one. I just did 8 hour zoom calls for 7 weeks training for a new project. On the second week, a man unmutes his call, farts the longest fart l've ever heard in my life, then when he finishes, mutes the call. I can see others laughing while muted at his fatal error of thinking he wasn't muted and so he went to "mute" his call. I found this to be the highlight of the week, but the following week the guy does it again!!! Honestly the second time I laug

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Text - vegancheezits • 1d 3 Awards In a math class I was in last year, we were taking a test, which you have to turn your mic on for-their way of trying to prevent cheating. Some girl apparently forgot that hers was on and started belting out Stand By You by Rachel Platten at the top of her lungs. It went on for the entire song and she was still humming it when I finished the test and left the call. Reply 24.2k

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Text - bingbong1234 • 1d 17 Awards I was producing a video for some university professors on a specific medical thing for a virtual learning course. I was all set up to shoot the process, and the teachers excused themselves to the next office to regroup and have a chat. I already had their wireless lav mics attached and fed to my camera, so when I sat down at the camera and put on my headphones I immediately heard their conversation - they were criticizing me, saying they couldn't believe they h

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Text - Odd_Camera_9588 • 1d 2 Awards Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn of his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with. Did I mention that she's also a teacher at our school? Yeah most awkward 5 minutes of my life before he realised Reply 29.8k ...

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Text - The_Legendarian • 1d A student in my class forgot to turn off their mic, and we heard some background noises (doors closing, tappin...) and because of a display bug, we couldn't see where the noise was from. Then the student started saying crap about the teacher, "oh, yeah this is useless, he's just writing on a tablet, even / could do that, etc." Everyone heard that, the teacher heard them just insult him. They didn't come back to the classes after that. Reply 6.3k ...

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Text - throwaybff • 1d 1 Award Girl forgot to turn off her mic and started screaming at her parents in Chinese . I wish understood what she said . After few minutes, she gasped loudly when she realised she didn't mute it . Reply 20.3k

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Text - tcw1 • 1d e 3 Awards In a thermodynamics class, one of the students said "Holy shit, this is so much" after covering a large set of equations related to fugacity. Everyone found it relatable. Reply 19.9k ...

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Text - xandrenia • 1d 1 Award In one of my classes, this girl wrote in the Zoom chat "this is so fucking boring" not realizing that the professor could see it Reply 18.4k ...

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Text - le_gasdaddy • 1d Was in training before classes started this year. 200ish teachers. Only principal and AP were speaking. Teacher has her mic unmuted, phone rings, picks it up and says, "hey. Yeah. Just sitting here in another one of these goddam trainings. " Reply 4.1k ...

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Text - Non-native-English • 1d 1 Award My teacher got scolded by his wife (another teacher in school) because she needed to work and he didn't repair her computer. He was a computer technology teacher and he just keep saying "Sorry honey, I forgot. I won't do it again. I promise it will take two seconds to fix it." in loop because the wife went on a little rant of how he always forgot things. When he saw the mic was still on he blushed and after a moment of silence just went on with the lesson.

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Text - Pegi111 • 1d Somebody in my class forgot to turn off the mic and started singing along to a song and loudly. Somebody told her and there was this odd whooop!! Noise and then she cut off Reply 12.8k ...

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Text - WineMomParker • 1d 1 Award I'm a college student. Last semester we had a girl place an entire dinner order over the phone with her mic on while we all tried to tell her that her mic was on. I think she had us muted. She was ordering Mediterranean food. I think she got a chicken gyro.

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Text - Jawleene • 1d 1 Award I was visiting my best friend during a lecture and she had her mic and video turned off. She then had to join a group discussion and sometimes unmuted herself to contribute something. After that the whole class was supposed to present their results and she supposedly muted herself again. I started venting to her how wasps are considered wild bees even though they have no business beeing bees because they're assholes and suddenly we hear laughter from her professor an

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Dave Grohl Responds To Kid's Drum Battle Request

 

Yet another solid testament to the fact that Dave Grohl is one of the nicest legends in the history of rock and roll. 

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