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2020/10/29

Elephants Squishing And Eating Giant Pumpkin and more...

They're somehow so gentle while crushing pumpkins to oblivion. Just in time for the peak of spooky season, let's go!
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Elephants Squishing And Eating Giant Pumpkin and more...


 In This Issue...


Elephants Squishing And Eating Giant Pumpkin
 

They're somehow so gentle while crushing pumpkins to oblivion. Just in time for the peak of spooky season, let's go!

Submitted by: (via Oregon Zoo)

       
 

Teacher Helps Student Overcome Severe Stammer
 

Man, get ready for a feels trip. 

Submitted by: (via Youtube Channel)

       
 

Trailer Marries The Hobbit and Mad Max in Beautiful Union
 

As far as Frankenstein'd-together movies, you could do a whole lot worse than a mashup of The Hobbit and Fury Road. To be fair, they're both about unpredictable journeys in dangerous lands populated by mad kings and deep-voiced semi-human monsters, so why not. Extra points for Legolas' dexterity.

Submitted by: (via Inventor Headquarters)

       
 

Twitter Thread: Woman's Experience With Iceland's Healthcare System

Well doesn't this just sound like it's too good to be true. Too many Americans have had their rough go with trying to navigate a healthcare system that seems intended to ignite profound levels of frustration by its very design. Thus is not the case in Iceland though. 

1.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette When I lived in Iceland, I found a lump. Thad no idea how to navigate finding a doctor, so I went to our show's production manager. Me:I found a lump. Can you help me find a doctor? PM: Just go to the cancer center. Me: Okay. How do a get a referral? PM: What's a referral?

2.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette After I explain what a referral is, he looks baffled. PM: Just go to the cancer center. Me: But.referral? He shrugs and hands me the phone number to the cancer center. I call and explain. CC: A lump, ah yes. You should come in. Me: Don't I need a referral? CC: A what?

3.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette Having accepted that I don't need a referral, I say, "How do I make an appointment?" CC: An appointment? Yes, we can do that if your schedule is very busy, otherwise just come in. Me:I don't need an appointment? CC: You found a lump! You know your body, yes? Come in.

4.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette Solgo. The nurse checking me in apologizes because, since l'm not Icelandic, l'll have to pay for the visit. It's 3 krónur. That's 3 dollars at that point. I pay and sit down to wait. CC: Kowal? Me: Already? CC: You found a lump.

5.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette She escorts me into an examining room and palpates the area. CC: Yes, that does feel like a lump. Let's do a mammogram. I prepare to hear about making an appointment for that. CC: I'm sorry, but it's across the hall. Do you mind following me?

6.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal e @MaryRobinette I've been in the building for about twenty minutes at this point when I'm strapped into the mammogram - WHICH HAD WARMERS -- and she does her thing. CC: There is something there, you are right. I want to see it with an ultrasound. And then she leads me next door.

7.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette She does the ultrasound and when we're finished, she tells me to get dressed and to meet her in the waiting room. Ihead out to the changing room, put my top back on, and walk out to the waiting room. I sit down to wait. CC: Kowal? Me: Already? CC: It is only cyst.

8.

Text - Mary Robinette Kowal O @MaryRobinette Forty-five minutes after walking into the Icelandic Cancer Center and 3 krónur poorer, I had the answer. In the US, a similar lump took two weeks and three different office visits. Ithink about this every time I have to fight with medical insurance in the US.

Submitted by:

       
 

Language Misunderstanding Results In Accidental Breakup

We love nothing more than a good old fashioned language translation fail. Languages can be wildly confusing, and sometimes that goes on to inspire absolutely hilarious misunderstandings between people that would otherwise be getting along just fine. In this case though, we learn that this particular misunderstanding was the straw that broke the camel's back, and apparently this guy was a dang "side guy." 

1.

Text - r/tifu u/ManicSheep• 8h Join 3 2 3 4 VOTED 1 VOT 1 TIFU by temporarily breaking up with my Dutch Girlfriend after declaring my love M This happened about 7 years ago. I am South African and was dating a Dutch girl at the time. For those of you who don't know my home language (Afrikaans) and Dutch are pretty similar. Linguistically speaking, we have about a 70% overlap in vocabulary (words) however the meaning of the same word in both languages sometimes mean something totally different.

2.

Text - I was dating this girl for around 9 months. She flew down to South Africa, and I took her to one of our national parks on one of the weekends. On the last evening of her visit, we were sitting next to a large open lake. As I looked at her, a sudden rush of emotions occurred. I took her hands in mine, looked her in the eyes... and said (in English): "I love you". This was the first time Ive said that. For a moment I thought I caught her off guard but she looks at me with a straight face an

3.

Text - The next morning we checked out and we drove to the airport. Upon arrival, I dropped her off departures gate and thanked her for a lovely time. Told her that things have become clearer to me over the course of the evening, and that I don't think we should see each other anymore. She (of course) burst into tears, took her bags, and left my car.

4.

Text - We didn't text for two days. On the third day she sends me a text asking why I broke up with her... I explained that it hit me really hard that declared my love for her and my feelings weren't reciprocated. Perplexed, she phones me... And the mature asshole that I am, I rejected the call. She sends me a voice note saying she doesn't understand... As when I said I loved her, she said it back. Long story short: Apparently the word "hou" (i.e. “Like" in Afrikaans) means "Love" in Dutch.

5.

Text - Man did I fuck up! In the end we could laugh about it, and decided never to speak in Dutch again :P (We only lasted another 8 months after this incident though for other reasons) TL;DR:I declared my love for my Dutch Girlfriend, and she responded in Dutch with "I like you". I broke up with her the next day, and was only later informed that the word "like" in Afrikaans means "love" in Dutch.

Submitted by:

       
 

Parent Blames Teacher for Kid Not Being In Virtual Class

People often think that it's the kids who are the most frustrating part of a teacher's job. The fact is, true headaches can come from a disengaged or spiteful parent. Throw on some anger, caginess and a false sense of superiority and you've got yourself a real winner of a parent-teacher conference. For some more teacher headaches, here are some times teachers noticed parents obviously did their kids work.

1.

Text - Today 5:21 PM Ms. Jackson, Let me start off by saying that I am disgusted at the school system. Working parents shouldn't have to be teachers that why you all get paid. I get home and see my child is failing. That is ridiculous. It's your job to make sure they understand. How the hell is she failing every course except math and science. Please explain before I go higher up the chain. Good Afternoon, I am so sorry that you are unsatisfied with the school system. This time is difficult for

2.

Text - submitted one assignment since August. She also has not attended one meeting. She received a 65 in math and science off the principle of grace because I do believe she has the ability to do better than that. Her reading and social studies grades are handled by another teacher, I cannot speak for her. Ok well for future reference I would appreciate it if you do not contact my husband on class dojo. That is inappropriate and uncalled for. I handle her school work and the two of you should h

3.

Text - I just don't want you contacting him. I am not comfortable and I will let him know as well. If my child is not on the computer it is my expectation that you will call me and let me know daily. I don't have time to keep up with her and all this work. Again, I am not her teacher. If you're going to give out zeros I expect you to come here and help her. That's alI. As much as I would love to do that ma'am, that is not feasible. I have 54 students and cannot call the parents of every student

4.

Text - know a date and time that works for you. I will work around your schedule. Thank you. If I needed a meeting I would've asked you for one. Do as I ask and we won't have any issues. My daughter will not fail because you're being lazy. Ma'am have a good night. The principal will be following up with you tomorrow. Delivered iMessage

Submitted by:

       
 

Off-Duty Building Supervisor Has Karen Tenant Talk to Toddler

Karen's out for blood after her own kids drew all over her walls. Given a completely reasonable option, she chose to not listen and hound this building supervisor on vacation. That choice netted her nothing but the toddler. For some more outrageous Karen-ness, here's a bridezilla Karen who ended up looking like a Pauper at her own wedding and some more unfortunate times people went full Karen.

1.

Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance - Posted by u/Dark909911 1 day ago e7 34 92 12 5 2 2 VOTED Want to talk to the boss? oC M Cast me. My son who is 2. Crazy tenant. Building owner. Back in 2012 to 2015 I worked as a building supervisor with 7 buildings I took care of. I also had a side job as a contractor to paint any apartment that needed it. I only did this part time because of other duties from my buildings.

2.

Text - If I didn't have time for painting my employer would hire outside workers. I had been a painter for about 8 years by this time and did a very good job. I wanted everything perfect. At the time my son was only 2 years old and I had him with me for 2 weeks. I had other building supers who were taking care of my buildings for my 2 weeks off. My boy started talking really early and by 2 he could speak quite clearly. He didn't make much sense but you could understand every word he said.

3.

Text - I got a call from one of my tenants angrily telling me that I must come to her place to paint her living room. Her grandkids colored all over the walls with sharpies and she has company coming and would be totally embarrassed if they saw her walls. I kindly told her I am on my 2 week vacation and can't help. She started screaming into the phone telling me it's my job. And I have to do this or she won't pay rent next month. I told her to call the building owners and explain that to them an

4.

Text - That went over like a loud fart in church! Therm I told her that my painting and landlord status were 2 separate jobs and I am on a 2 week vacation from both. She hung up and called the building owner. She called me after asking my side. I told her and she just laughed about it and said,"if she calls back just have fun. But she knows better than to threaten holding the rent back because I warned her if she didn't pay she couldn't stay." *I miss that woman. Less than 5 minutes later I got

5.

Text - Malicious compliance activated! I said he is right here beside me. Ill put you on speaker so we can all straighten this or together. So I put the phone on speaker and told my son he is wanted in the phone. He LOVED talking on the phone. He didn't listen to you just tell you all about what's going on with his day. Tell you what he is watching on tv. Tell you about the puppy pooping in the grass.

6.

Text - She couldn't be rude to a toddler so after a few minutes of him chattering away I picked up the phone and took it off speaker. This set my little man into a freak out. I said into the phone,"that's my boss. By the sounds of him right now it doesn't look like I can make it tonight." She just hung up. I didn't get another call from her. I had to call my mom to settle him down again. My mother loves all the kids and would sit on the phone with any of her 10 grandkids for hours and love every

Submitted by:

Tagged: baby , tenant , lol , ridiculous , story , building , funny , karen
       
 

Neighbors Quarrel Evolves Into Friendship

Even if this ended up being a collection of drawings made by the same dude, they're still awesome. With that being said, the idea that a couple neighbors beefing were somehow able to put aside their differences, and actually sit down together to watch some baseball, is a bright moment for humanity. 

For some less amicable, friendly, wholesome content between neighbors check out the time that a some neighbors kept a family up, so the kids decided to take revenge.

1.

Cartoon - Dear 402, up Your two dogs every night this week at 4 Am woke me Please silunce your hounds from Hell. Regands, 403

2.

Cartoon - 403, I think it's all the marijuana smoke coming that's waking and baking them. from your aprtment Sod off, 402

3.

Cartoon - Text - Tromp Cardi Obserre this apartment's 501b. pet weight 'restriction! Your dogs have broken the tat sound barrier. APARTMENT RULES! NO FAT DOGS

4.

Text - MEXICAN STANDOFF APAROMENT RULES/ NO WEED

5.

Text - Wait, you're a CUB5 fan? . in NYC ? ... Truce. to Wanna Come to place on Saturday my watch the game I'll bake deep dish pizza (stoner), You can eren bring your hounds from hel

6.

Drawing - I'll bring the beers and degs! Go Cubbies Woof! W BEER

Submitted by:

       
 

The Absurd Demands of Entitled People

This is a world with an exciting population of entitled individuals and their nonstop demands. They could be a potential employer who wants you to work for peanuts, a stranger who wants to trade your car for a lawnmower, or a landlord who doesn't understand why you don't want to go through a winter without hot water. Entitled people have some absurd audacity.

1.

Text - This opportunity is NOT for people who: Who need a stable + well-paying job (we have deep compassion for those in need of financial stability as we are in the same situation but $ is not at all our motivator for this company - when we are successful $ will be a successful byproduct). Our goal is to fundraise soon but in the beginning the salaries will be slightly below market rates. Who need consistent direction + mentorship + need to be told what to do + how to do it • Want stability in

2.

Text - all Verizon LTE 16:11 1 91% Craftsman 30" Riding... ... $450 31047, Kathleen Hi! Is it still availabl200.00 good work contactblee? 15:24 Yea nah not for 200 good luck elsewhere 15:25 wow that's exactly like the lawn mower my grandfather was using when he had a heart attack and died 16:10 Damn that sucks. 16:11 500.00 16:11 W Yes, it's still for sale What's your offer? Yes, it's Type your message here

3.

Font - Free extra cedar wood and maybe a few pieces of pine. About 7 pieces. Must be able to pick up and must be thankful. I would also like 1 small favour in return I'd like the person who picks this up to make me an oil shelf that I am in turn going to gift to one of my Young Living members Within a month would be ideal. Thank you A

4.

Text - Elizabeth · 2 Beds 1 Bath House Marketplace 2 Beds 1 Bath House ... Create Reminder Rate Buyer This group has 2 members See Latest Updates Good evening, is this available? Yes it is 6:07 AM Please leave me alone - we are sleeping. 8:51 AM ? No more contacting please. Thanks appreciate. You contacted me I know- I no longer interested. Please stop contacting me now. I will contact attorney general if you do not stop. Thsnks

5.

Text - 1 Facebook ll 9:02 AM © 1 0 56% Yes Could you send me a resume to d that includes your work experience as an editor? Thanks!! No but you can hire me and see my performance since there is a 90-day probation phase. The application process is part of that 90-day probation phase, and if you can't follow simple instructions, l'm not sure this will work. I submitted so many resumes I'm not going to submit no more I know my performance and you guys are losing out if you don't hire me.

6.

Text - ... 22 mins 1. I have no long term debt, and no I'm not paying yours if you do but I don't care if you have any debt. 2. Obviously not applicable here yet. 3. No kids, don't want them at all never, nope. 4. (Technically 5) Undetermined, Flexible and Unpredictable career timeline, willing to relocate anywhere, you must be okay with whatever I decide. I will always put money before people no matter who it is. 6. Non-religious, prefer sensible people who aren't religious and are very progres

7.

Text - 4:54 iMessage Today 4:40 PM Anyone get the tv yet? l'm trynna peep it rn Not yet! I'll be home at 5:30 if you want to come check it out then Bruh I want it sooner. I'm trynna play fifa rn Send ur addy and I'll leave the cash on your couch or some shit. That's not going to happen. I'll be home later and you can get it then Bitch u don't understand. I want it now. Make it happen If u make me wait I want a better deal bruh Hev I'm actually aonna decline iMessage éPay

8.

Text - Looking for free Laptop for work 0.00 Russell Hobbs Emma araeer Argos SHOP NOW Liam (1 listing) Member since 2019 I am looking for a laptop that i can use for my work and home. It's size can be anywhere from 11" to 15.6". I will need it delivered to my address (will be given if i accept your offer). Brands i would accept: Microsoft, HP, Acer, Asus, Lenovo, Apple etc.

9.

Text - Like לו Comment Share KAL County Job Search 23h • O Looking for a job, $20 an hour minimum, no background checks and must allow periodic part time if needed. No shitty ass restaurant stuff. b 64 54 Comments • 1 Share Like ן Comment Share

10.

Text - FEELING 41 mins e ALIVE JEERS TO MY SON'S TEACHER AT S. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FOR GIVING MY SON DETENTION AFTER HE THREW A FIT: BECAUSE SHE REFUSED TO GIVEN HIM ANOTHER COLOR MARKER THAT WASN'T A COLOR FOR GIRLS: SHE GAVE HIM A PURPLE DRY ERASE MARKER TO DO HIS WORK WITH AND WOULDN'T GIVE HIM A DIFFERENT COLOR... SO I ASKED HER IF ALL THE STUDENTS IN THE CLASS HAD A PURPLE MARKER TO WORK WITH: THEN SHE SAYS NO, SHE JUST REACHED IN THE BAG AND GAVE HIM A COLOR, AND THEN SAYS SHE DON'T TEACH HE

11.

Text - I'm pretty sure this would fit my sedan Thu at 6:27 AM Great 1:05 PM I'll give u 100 bucks for them U don't have any tires for them I can throwu more money On these wheels it's hard to find tires for those wheels Pretty sure you already offered me $130 and I told you $140. So this $100 ain't playin Tires are hard to find in life. Hahaha e I got 100 bucks though Imk my wheel cracked Cool. Let me know when you find another $40 9 130 Only $10 away! Sent Aa

12.

Text - AT&T 8:29 PM Home Favorites Recent -0- -o- Like Comment Share ... lser Buy Nothing O No Ruies Portland 27m · A I need an RV under $100 that works even if it is free let me know Create your own avatar so you can Try It personalize comments and posts. amn onta

13.

Text - ll AT&T ? 1:46 PM @ 1 60% ... 3h · A That's a no for me dog. Posted in a moms trade group. Wondering if any mamas have an Apple Watch for trades of young living oils/products!? O Like Comment A 440 View previous comments... Rules Write a comment... GIF

14.

Text - 3 Chrome •.000 4:11 PM 1 54% Orange Grater for ch.. $5 ... You've been blocked by this user Hi, I'm Verified with: f O 02143, Somerville I'm interested! 7/3/16, 10:05 PM I will be around next week can we meet halfway? Cambridge?... 7/3/16, 10:05 PM Yes, it's still for sale 7/3/16, 10:05 PM It's a $5 cheese grater, you need to come to where I am 7/3/16, 10:06 PM Fuck off 7/3/16, 10:07 PM ACR

15.

Text - area. Jolly ranchers, Attention all parents in the suckers and smarties might be adequate for less fortunate neighborhoods like Cicero and Oak Park but NOT here in We are WAY better than them and the candy we hand out on Halloween must reflect that. Costco has king size candy bars and I suggest you all stock up. My kids expect and deserve only the best. See you in a few days.

Submitted by:

       
 

Specific Signs Someone is A Decent Person

Sure, someone can just tell you they're a nice person, but that rarely actually means anything. That person could just as easily be a liar. There are a few behaviors people do that illustrate their intentions. For example there's the shopping cart theory of morality. For a dose of faith in humanity here are some wholesome memes.

1.

Text - tbrady4rings 900 points · 11 hours ago e When they pick up a bruised piece of fruit in the produce section and whisper "who did this to you?"

2.

Text - lyn73 837 points · 11 hours ago When conflict arises, they seek peace by being introspective. In addition, they seek to resolve the dispute directly with that person as opposed to gossiping or triangulating.

3.

Text - MischievousMutt 22.5k points · 11 hours ago 2 3 5 In social settings, they notice when 3 & 5 More someone is kinda left out and they find a way to include that person in the conversation or whatever fun is being had.

4.

Text - exterminator122 19.1k points · 13 hours ago 2 when in groups, someone interrupts you, and after they finish, that good person says "X, you were saying?" showing genuine interest and compassion for getting interrupted.

5.

Text - dubc4 17.6k points - 12 hours ago They pick up nails, screws or sharp objects they come across from the parking lot or road so people don't get flat tires.

6.

Text - efesl 16.2k points · 13 hours ago 2 2 e 3 & 2 More They say good things about people behind their backs.

7.

Text - ehricaw 13.5k points · 12 hours ago 2 e S VOTED Even if they don't quite understand or relate to a topic you brought up, they ask follow up questions. Bonus points if they don't seem particularly interested in the topic, but they still remain invested in the conversation since you're excited to talk about it. It always flusters me when I've accidentally bored someone or stalled conversation, so the fact that some try to keep it running to avoid awkward silence feels really sweet to me.

8.

Text - zeteo_galeneian 11.8k points · 13 hours ago 2 e 3 28 When in a group of people walking, they make sure nobody gets left behind by spacing themselves between the leaders and the stragglers and keeping an eye on both

9.

Text - Macrofita 11.4k points · 12 hours ago They can admit when they are wrong about something without getting angry or defensive.

10.

Text - moringa_tea 9.3k points · 13 hours ago VOTER They look engaged when you speak to them, and are patient if you're struggling to explain something. I'm so used to feeling like I have to "sell" my conversation points to hold anyone's attention that someone actually asking me to expand more on my thoughts really takes me off guard.

11.

Text - allanmonroe 9.1k points · 11 hours ago 22 3 2 Someone who remembers a tiny detail about your life or something you like and brings it up in convo much later on.

12.

Text - holyydiver32 5.7k points · 13 hours ago I know my boss is a good person because he's never said anything mean about a rude client or competitive business. It's always, "those guys do awesome work, that guy is just the best man".

13.

Text - beakerNH 5.7k points · 12 hours ago If they decide they don't want to buy something, they put it back where they found it instead of just leaving on a shelf somewhere else.

14.

Text - motownmods 5.1k points · 13 hours ago They always return the cart to the cart corrals.

15.

Text - NellieKane 3.4k points · 14 hours ago My friend sends thank you notes to their dentist.

16.

Text - sacca7 3.3k points · 12 hours ago When they admit and own their mistakes. When they say they don't know something. When they show up on time at least 99.5% of the time. When they show gratitude. When they can apologize to another, and accept forgiveness when someone offers that. Not lying is a very good trait. It builds trust.

17.

Text - DataPlenty 2.9k points · 12 hours ago S Being pleasant and polite to wait staff.

18.

Text - Candid-Self3276 2.2k points · 10 hours ago 32 How they treat animals when no one is looking. Especially stray animals and wildlife.

19.

Text - Aminar14 2.0k points · 11 hours ago S2 They always get food last at communal meals. Making sure everyone else got enough food is a sign they've really conquered their inner caveman.

20.

Text - N173M4R3Z 2.0k points · 13 hours ago They don't ruin your jokes. And that's a big one.

21.

Text - ramsayroosebolton 1.1k points · 8 hours ago They keep the trash with them until they find a dustbin.

22.

Text - Goughmi 1.9k points · 13 hours ago They wait for you when you bend down to tie your shoes

23.

Text - FrogginBullfish_ 1.8k points · 12 hours ago · edited 11 hours ago They let someone with only a few items go in front of them in a checkout lane if they have a full cart. They take time to hold the door for strangers when entering a building a short ways ahead of someone. They let people merge into their lane while on the interstate rather than speeding up.

24.

Text - God_Is_Pizza 1.8k points · 10 hours ago Not stealing money you find. A lot of people in my family have found decent amounts of cash that people have misplaced and returned it. I just would feel terrible if I lost up to a paycheck in cash and someone just swiped it. My cousin, when he was a preteen, lost his wallet in Walmart and it had the money in it to buy him a Nintendo Wii or something when they were brand new. My uncle had basically told him too bad, so sad. And when they got home, m

25.

Text - articulateantagonist 1.5k points · 12 hours ago If they see someone looking confused in a public space, asking if they need directions.

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Tumblr Post: Barista Encounters Real Life Mad Hatter

Man, anyone who has ever worked a customer service job will appreciate the fact that you never know what kind of craziness you're bound to encounter on a shift. It could be juggling customers' mythologically strong coffee orders, or it could be having to work with someone who is the pure example of chaotic good. Always something new in the life of a barista. 

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A Humorously Mild Taste of LaCroix Tweets

Sparkling water is a decisive topic. Some appreciate a light alternative to juice and soda, and everyone else demands to know where the flavor is. It's hard for many of us to spend money on a product whose selling point is that there's almost nothing in it, and that generates some pretty hilarious complaints. For more twitter stuff, here are funny tweets to give that day a boost.

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Karen Wants $1K Cash for $10 Coupon Sent to Wrong Address

We're not sure what Karen was thinking on this one. She took what was otherwise a low key coupon designed to help anyone in need, and turned it into a whole situation where she was paying even more money in legal fees than she ever could've imagined in the first place. A definite loss. Check out some more juicy Karen content with this story about Karen threatening an employee with a write-up and getting a lesson in management.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/TheBreakUp2013 •· 1y Karen Wants $1,000 Cash for $10 Coupon Sent to Wrong Address - Pays More in Legal Fees (Re-Posted with Names) This story is from a few years ago when I worked in the legal department of a 1,000+ store national retailer. As part of my job, I handled customer complaints that elevated when the customer threatened legal action. Our customer service call center forwarded Karen's call to me after she threatened legal action. Karen left a message claimi

2.

Text - Karen back. It turned out, we had an old address associated with her rewards account. No big deal, right? I spoke with Karen and offered to send her the original $10 coupon and an additional $25 for her trouble to the correct address. That did not satisfy Karen. She claimed we should have known her address and threatened to sue us if we didn't pay her $1,000 in cash. Her rationale was that it would cost us at least $1,000 to defend the suit (she was in a state in which our company did not

3.

Text - I contacted outside counsel, our Awesome Attorney, explained the situation to him and I $hit you not he said (in a Southern drawl): "I get to sue Karen? I should be paying you guys. There are a lot of lawyers in this legal community who would love to sue her as she is reckless, unpleasant and a total pain in the ass to deal with. I'll gladly take your case." He agreed to defend us at a reduced rate. Part of our defense strategy was to counter-sue her under the state's frivolous lawsuit st

4.

Text - I talked with Awesome Attorney about continuing our claim, but he advised it would probably be worth settling and being done with it rather than being vindictive. Although vindictive would have been fun, courts tend not to like that so I agreed. My company ended up paying Awesome Attorney $900 in attorneys' fees. Awesome Attorney later called and told us that the attorney Karen engaged charged her $1,700 to defend the suit. Although I would have liked to continue with our suit, I think he

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Humbling Times People Doubted Their Intelligence

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the humbling times that people were forced to confront the grim reality that their brain activity could be at an all-time low. We've all been there at one point or another. Sometimes, it's as simple as those spontaneous moments that the brain just goes on autopilot, and we do something that makes zero sense at all. 

1.

Text - voice_of_craisin • 23h Me: "Hey, have you seen my glasses?" Her: "Did you check the fridge?" And there they are just like the 100 other times I can't find my glasses. Why do I put them in the fridge? Reply 623 ...

2.

Text - SaucySweatpants • 22h 1 Award My dad is a prankster. When I was about 18 he tried to convince me that Kenny Rogers owned Kroger. And it was really convincing. It didn't help that we called it Krogers with an "s" and not Kroger, which is correct. He kept saying, "He even named it after himself! Kenny Rogers, K. Rogers, Krogers!" It made sense, but knowing my dad my bullshit detector was going off so I announce that l'll find out once and for all and call the local Kroger and ask. I called,

3.

Text - Yukfoot • 1d 1 Award In the army I was learning how Humvees worked. You have to lock the doors from the inside by slamming down a bar. It's called combat locking the door, then you put a padlock on the driver door to secure the Humvee. My squad leader taught me a trick to reach through the window and slam down the bar instead of having to crawl through and reach the bar for each door. Then you just push the window up and you are done. I thought I was high speed when I learned this so the

4.

Text - fantsukissa • 1d 3 Awards I was talking on the phone with my mom. After a while I got frustrated because I couldn't find my phone any where. I told my mom about it and she replied: "wait a second, l'll hang up and then call it so you can find it". I figured out how dumb I was as I was staring the ringing phone in my hand. We had a good laugh about it. But apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. Reply 2.6k ...

5.

Text - ksinvaSinnekloas • 23h 3 1 Award Found a lost smartphone when walking somewhere. It was the exact same model as my own phone. Dropped it off at the nearest police station so they could contact the owner. Found out later that i had dropped off my own phone in stead of the one i found. Reply 8.1k ...

6.

Text - theoriginalelmo • 23h 1 Award When after summer vacation i didn't remember how to write a k Edit: wow, thanks for the award!!! Reply 327 ...

7.

Text - 2 Awards In my kitchen I have one cabinet for bowls and plates and another one for cups. This hasn't changed since moving into the house four years ago. About 75% of the time, I open the wrong cabinet to get what I need. Even when I try really hard to focus on opening the right cabinet, I still regularly get it wrong. That was the final straw that validated my stupidity. Reply 1 2.4k

8.

Text - killmenowplsz • 23h 6 Awards When someone told me they had the same name as me; I said "Really? What's your name?" Needless to say, I felt like dying Reply 10.8k ...

9.

Text - cleanandcozy • 23h During a dental appointment, my dentist asked me to bite down on this little strip of like sand paper? Not sure what it's called exactly, but she says okay now "tap, tap, tap" but while she said it, she motioned with her hands like this: S .. what she meant was tap my teeth down on the sand paper a few times... I took it as okay I'll tap my fingers together - and just mimicked her gesture. She was trying so hard not to laugh at me when I realized what I had done Reply 7

10.

Text - lainelect • 1d 3 Awards One particularly hazy morning I went to the cafe, paid for a cup of coffee, then promptly turned around and walked about a half mile down the block before realizing I never got my coffee. Reply 5.4k ...

11.

Text - x3Sheets2daWind • 1d F 1 Award I put my phone in the freezer to charge. I remember having the thought that it would actually work. Several hours later, I couldn't find my phone. When someone called me, my brain refused to put together that the reason why my fridge was playing music was that my phone was in it. I just thought it was a feature I had missed. Reply 1 2.9k ...

12.

Text - MHSPres • 23h I was preparing to run a 10K race. It was cool so I was wearing my running suit. Right before I go to the starting line, I'm about to take off the pants and I realize I'm not wearing any shorts underneath. Just Under Armour. I forgot to put them on. Somehow I managed to | set a PR. It's become a running joke (no pun intended) that I make sure l'm wearing shorts. Reply 465 ...

13.

Text - cheezybreazy • 20h I'm from the south and dated a girl when I was younger. First time meeting her mom, in a heavy New York accent, she asked me, "you like dogs?" I said, "no thanks, I'm not hungry." It took me way too long to realize she was talking about the two giant pets they had, which were literally in between us, and not fucking hot dogs. Reply 226 ...

14.

Text - greffedufois • 1d Forgot to check the oven before preheating. Set a forgotten pizza box on fire. Husband will never let me live it down. It was several years ago. Reply 1.6k ...

15.

Text - Moar_Wattz • 1d Went to the store to buy coffee. Got home with pasta, lettuce and milk. I forgot the coffee. Reply 3.4k ...

16.

Text - littleredhoodlum • 1d 1 Award I had swapped a different engine into my car. Got around to the point where I was ready to do start up. Go to fire it up and nothing. Not getting any fuel pressure. Fuel pump was priming, wasn't a leak anywhere. Tear the fuel cell apart. Pull the pump out. Rig up a bucket of fuel test the pump. Seems to be working fine. Put the fuel cell back together. Must be a plugged filter. Pull the filter can blow through it fine shouldn't be stopping the fuel. Finally d

17.

Text - justbringmetacos • 20h I was working with my deaf coworker and the store we worked at was having a sale on airpod pros. I FORGOT he wouldn't be able to use them and was miming to him that he should buy some. He just pointed to his ears and shook his head. Then to make it worse, I kept trying to sign to him that I was sorry and kept signing thank you instead. He at least got a good laugh out of it. Reply 346 ...

18.

Text - therealborkas • 19h I was friends with some twins. I said happy birthday to one of them. The other asked "What about me?" My dumbass: "Oh shit is it your birthday too?" "Yes." "Damn thats crazy yall even have the same birth-oh damn, I am actually stupid." Reply 139 ...

19.

Text - lOughtToBeThrownAway • 1d Since being concussed. I won't say I wasn't stupid before the concussion but I know for sure l'm stupider now and it's a strange sense of loss. Reply 626 ...

20.

Text - moonrakernw • 18h 1 Award I was out clothes shopping when I spotted someone I recognised. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. It was just then I realised I was walking towards a full length mirror. Reply 112 ...

21.

Text - Samaki_Ni_Meli • 1d 1 Award This one time I was asked to ref a football match, was gonna flip a coin to decide which team would start. I asked for a rep from each team, asked the first guy whether he was picking heads or tails. He picked heads. I asked the other guy what he was going to pick. Reply 3.6k

22.

Text - CDC_ • 1d My divorce finalized in early 2017. In late 2017, I got back together with my ex-wife. Sitting across from my ex-wife in a Mexican restaurant in late 2019 after our thousandth argument, I very calmly, but firmly, said "we're the stupidest people on the fucking planet." She agreed. A couple days later she moved out. Reply 1 2.5k ...

23.

Text - cinnapear • 22h 2 Awards I was in my late 30's before I realized you can raise the lever on the toaster to lift up the toast and easily grip it... instead of playing Operation with your fingers and the toaster slots. Reply 1.2k ...

24.

Text - RightHandLeftSide • 1d 1 Award VOTE I once talked to my gf about the impressive records of Cristiano Ronaldo in football; literally in her next sentence she asked: how old is Ronaldo? To which I stupidly replied: who's Ron Aldo?

25.

Text - BOBfrkinSAGET • 1d 1 Award It would've been the mid to late 90's. Hanging out at a friends, listening to records and smoking pot. Friend puts on his new Green Day Dookie album. I definitely know the the lyrics to the song Basket Case and have no issue with singing them with gusto. Me: "Sometimes I give myself the crrreeeps! Sometimes my mom plays tricks oooon me!" My friend: "did you just say 'mom'?" Me: ...yeah Reply 427 ...

26.

Text - Tychillyst • 1d Deployed, heard word of an unidentified drone flying relatively close to our area, so I'm just sitting there staring up at the night sky. I really have never seen a drone during the night time, so I didn't really know what altitude to expect them to be flying at, or if they had lights on, so I was pretty clueless. This dim light catches my eyes as l'm scanning the sky and I focus in on it. The light seems to be getting bigger and bigger, and I couldn't figure out what it w

27.

Text - RevolutionaryPasta • 22h Not me, but my sister. One time, she went to go put a glass of water in the microwave to help keep her food moist, but the glass was too tall. Instead of getting a smaller glass out of the cabinet, she poured half the water out into the sink. The glass still wouldn't fit in the microwave, and she realized after what she had done. Reply 355 ...

28.

Text - Alka1001 • 1d Drove to school in the morning as I was running late but took the bus home. Didn't realise what l'd done until about 5 hours later. Reply 53 ...

29.

Text - kaichoublue • 18h I found a spoon in my freezer and while thinking "hmm why is this spoon in the freezer" | licked it. My tongue got stuck and I pulled the spoon fast off my tongue. I then bled for a while after as I had torn my tongue in several spots. Reply 1 56 ...

30.

Text - Diplodocus114• 19h When I was 15 and my deodorant spray can was blocked. I squinted into the little hole after unblocking and pressed. It worked. I couldnt see from 1 eye for 2 days. Height of stupidity lol, but taught me a valuable lesson. Reply 1 95 ...

31.

Text - ATransposeA • 23h I was 10, at a basketball tournament out of the city. I told my mother I was going to a friends room at the hotel we were staying at. He was 3 floors below the room we were staying in. I got in the elevator, and pressed floor 6. The doors closed and nothing happened. I pressed floor 6 again. Instant panic shot through my body. Pure sweat dripping down my forehead. I was stuck in an elevator. Instantly, I had to shit. I sat on the floor for 10 minutes, accepting that this

32.

Text - Silver_Tongue64 • 22h 1 Award I used to work at a lovely deli around two, three (?) Years ago. Some of the beverages we offered was fresh, hot coffee. A gentleman walked in and asked for a coffee with lots of cream. Not a problem, says I. I pull out the cream, take the lid off, and my boss reminds me to shake it first. Not a problem, I think again, and shake the (open, lidless carton of light cream) sending cream all over the floor, counter, fridge, etc. Everyone in the deli just stopped

33.

Text - tinkrman • 23h This conversation with my boss. "I will be in late tomorrow. T have a doctor's appointment." "Is everything ok?" "Yes, why do you ask?" Reply 1.2k ...

34.

Text - msierk76 • 1d I was shocked to learn that hearts and diamonds are always red cards and spade and clubs are always black in a deck of cards. I was told last night and felt so dumb. I'VE PLAYED POKER! Reply 663

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Jim Carrey Accepts His MTV Award, Unleashes Hilarious Callout
 

Who cares about the quality in this throwback clip? Any true Jim Carrey fan will watch it, and thoroughly enjoy based off the context of what he's saying. 

Submitted by: (via satanchild777)

       
 
 
   
   
   
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