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2020/10/07

Truck Driver Wins $17K On Scratch Off, Reenacts It, Wins Again and more...

Bill was overwhelmed with all kinds of gratitude. We're not surprised he was genuinely worried about having some kind of heart attack after pulling off the win again.
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Truck Driver Wins $17K On Scratch Off, Reenacts It, Wins Again and more...


 In This Issue...



Truck Driver Wins $17K On Scratch Off, Reenacts It, Wins Again

 

Bill was overwhelmed with all kinds of gratitude. We're not surprised he was genuinely worried about having some kind of heart attack after pulling off the win again. 

Submitted by: (via Zed Hawker)

       
 

Guy Reenacts Oblivion, Absolutely Nails It

 

This is literally every conflict scene with Oblivion's AI. Gotta love the ending there too. "There's a killer about." Then the dude just goes right back to bed. 

Submitted by: (via LaFave Bros)

       
 

Driver Walks Away After Car Snaps In Half

 

Leah Pruett was able to walk away from a crazy looking crash when the front end of her car collapsed and sent her into the air. The dragster is a stump, but the capsule stayed intact and she was able to give an interview moments later.

Submitted by: (via NHRA)

Tagged: wtf , safe , car , safety first , cars , crash
       
 

Quick Tumblr Thread Imagines J.R.R. Tolkien And C.S. Lewis Beefin

Grievances in the literary world are no joke. This quick and funny Tumblr thread takes a look at how some of their hypothetical differences could've gone. Just don't get Tolkien started on the plural of dwarf. 

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Text - 10:24 lesbianrey Follow hi i'm tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they're tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that's it bye katobleps Follow cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it cs lewis: they fucking suck tolkien: thats not constructive criticism 788 51 Comments Like ל' Comment A Share lazytechsupport Follow cs lew

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Text - 10:24 Tolkien: lamp posts don't exist in fantasy worlds Cs Lewis: ok you know what fuck you b 833 26 Comments Like ן Comment > Share 4setsofcorsets Follow CS Lewis: I could beta for you if you want. help you trim the fat on your stories Tolkien: what do you mean CS Lewis: I just. you describe a lot of trees. are trees that important Tolkien: just you fucking wait. trees are SO important. "and that day, Tolkien invented ents- 1.3K 29 Comments Like לו Comment Share jordisstigander Follow CS

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Text - kaible Follow casual reminder that Lewis and Tolkein almost completely ended their friendship over Lewis having Santa make an appearance in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe because Tolkein hated it so fucking much. O 2.3K 120 Comments Like לן Comment Share

Submitted by:

       
 

Trashy Moments Bubbling with Garbage-osity

The vast majority of people want to go about their day without bothering anyone or being an utter spectacle, but that can't be said for everyone. Trashy moments can befall upon us all, at every level of society. Whether it's a customer who chooses to tip with monopoly money covered in slurs, or a random dude who goes to the store to lick the onions, we're never far from trashy moments from the garbageverse.

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Product - November 21, 2016 at 5:07 PM. O I just tore Kroger ass up

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Text - SUBWAY myway SUBWAY Fraudulent Claims To our Valued Customers: Recently, many Subways in the area have been the targets of fraudulent customers claiming they received a bad sandwich in the past and demanding a new one, free of charge. Unfortunately, this has forced us to implement a new policy, that a sandwich will only be replaced if the original one is returned.

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Street fashion - MANGO

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Text - Sunbathing and Barbeques are not allowed in the cemetery. PLEASE SHOW RESPECT h&f hammersmith & fulham

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Property - Bounty Bount

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Floor - A friend of mine who owns a house cleaning company sent me this picture. Apparently the lady has so many cat she decided her closet was big enough to be the litter box. And there's carpet underneath CLUB PACK CAT

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Vehicle - Neighbor dude flagged me down and told me to stop doing burnouts through the neighborhood. But was a total dick about it, I decided to leave him a little present. #winning

8.

Text - Marketplace $15 - Canned food Create Plan More Options SEP 08, 7:30 AM ? 8:16 AM That definitely looks like the food you get in the free food packages from local food pantries. Are you getting those and then making people pay for you to resell them? I got them from the food pantry we didn't have anymore room So you're selling something that struggling people can get for free, and using this resource to your own advantage by selling it rather than donating it back? That's messed up.

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Material property - Warning to all stores, restaurants, gas stations, etc... This is how someone paid for their food at the Huddle House. Needless to say, we no longer take rolled coins... sorry to the honest folks... 18Mm TAIWAY

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Room - ... 4 hrs · 0 This guy seriously set up shop over eight hours ago. Three servers have changed hands since then, he hasnt paid or tipped yet, we've been on a wait, but he just doesn't GAF. The best part??? HE'S GAMING! How do you get an asshat like this to leave? Seriously. Edited to add: he left after 8 1/2 hours and tipped one server $2.86 after free refills and all the soup, salad, and bread he wanted.

11. Burnout Gender Reveal

Asphalt

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Text - Virgin a M O$46% D 19:13 Viergit 令也 RIO46% 19:13 Be the first to message this seller Buy & Sell.. ... Are you actually joking??? If your going to sell it I want it back. mins 5m Like Reply Kids bouncy castle £40 · Manchester MESSAGE That was supposed to be for the boys to play on. Not to make profit from! Kids bouncy castle with slide used a few times. 4 m Like Reply in perfect condition. Pick up only Swinton. +8 Is the price negotiable? Interested! 2 comments Write a comment... GIF ----

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Clothing - Ready to est Dei your se tracks favurine Di Starfocke Comer CH GANIBAL can & Go

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Supermarket - $2 Redkdyice SinIE ANSINSIE emales NantA extme 1678

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Furniture - 47

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Vehicle door - NE Time Don't Steal From. yOur brohe Cavid

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Product - ... 19 hrs · Facebook for Android · 4 Eating popcorn with my scary movie buddy! Say what you will this momma don't care! She knows it's just a movie and is fake.! MOM BOSS mal 1 Comment 75 Like

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Text - · 20h v 7 years ago I worked at a small company of about 15 people. I sent an email to all my co-workers one Friday, inviting them on a weekend hike. Only one person came, a guy from the web dev team that I'd hardley spoken to. Today is our 6th wedding anniversary. We're going hiking. 2,066 L7 36.1K 528K Replying to It's a scientifically proven fact that people who are colleagues first cannot truly love each other. Happy anniversary anyway. 11:00 · 05 Oct 20 · Twitter for iPhone 1 Quote T

19. The classic carpool mannequin

Vehicle

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Vehicle - THIS TRU NOTHING IT ITS ALL BEEN REMOVED PLEASE DON'T BRE MY WINDOWS TO FIND OUT

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Property - мкр. Оптимистов 10/2 日田

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Red - 7AM-3PM CHANGED TH LockS GARY, TAKE HE BED TO LAUR HOUSE. SLUT DIVORCING YOU. I TOSD THE KIDS WHAT YOU DE INOUR BED AND THEV DON

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Street art - ONLYFANS

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Text - Don't get me wrong, I'd do bad for cheating on Adam, but I'm an aries it's just in my nature plus he's a gemini he's got submissive personality not really my fault 18:02 · 26/09/2020 · Twitter for Android

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Hair - Canadian Woman Refuses to Pay Her Bill at Nail Salon, Gets Locked In By Employees

Submitted by:

Tagged: trashy , behavior , horrible , wtf , gross , cringe , selfish , mean , lol
       
 

Customer Realizes They Were Scammed 6 Years Later

Computer trouble is a mystery to a lot of people, so it makes sense that it'd be easy to miss something. It's strange to look back and realize something you didn't know was going wrong, like these things people later discovered were illegal. For some funny scammer revenge, here's a scammer who got trolled with made up neighbor drama.

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Submitted by:

       
 

Kid Can't Understand Life Before Emails Were Around

It's quick little exchanges like this that spotlight just how much things have changed. Yes, in those olden days before emails were around people were still able to get stuff done. Might've taken a little extra exertion, but the world still kept spinning madly on. Anyone who has ever had a conversation with someone in a younger generation has likely had that, "dang I'm getting old" moment. 

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Text - 8:13 1 How did any of college work before email? Like what did you do? If a class were cancelled, or there was a mistake on the homework

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Text - Lol-you had to walk over to the room and there would be a note on the door. What if it was at 8 am? You'd still have to wake up early and walk all the way in? That is correct.

3.

Text - How would you find out about anything? I have to check my email to find out what ensembles I'm in, and what jobs l'll have to do for the math department every semester You had to write stuff down

4.

Text - And it was posted on bulletin boards. I don't even know what that is Today 12:06 PM You know-a cork board with push pins. Text Message

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Text - But how would you read that without walking all the way to the building? Sigh. You had to walk to the building. And I had to drive to the campus since l was a commuter. That's how I got my first job.

6.

Text - It was on an index card on a bulletin board outside of the math building. How would you reply if it was on a bulletin? What if they wanted to link something for more details? It just seems so crazy to me

7.

Text - You had to call a phone number. That was it. And ask questions once you get there. I got a job after receiving and responding to one (1) email, I can't imagine having to interact with someone for it

8.

Text - Oh my. We did live before email. And the internet. Idk how Books. Libraries. Phones. Text Message Pay

Submitted by:

       
 

What Reality and Game Show Tapings Are Like

Everyone knows that game shows and reality TV aren't as action packed as they're edited to seem, but some shows have different interesting quirks and things the average TV viewer wouldn't notice. Other than getting to talk to famous hosts and all the game show blunders, it's a weird reminder that the whole thing is a business.

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Submitted by:

       
 

Dry Ice Loophole Makes Mockery of Robotics Competition

There's no solution more compelling than those lazy "it's not stupid if it works" moments, even if they're technically against the rules. A low budget or DIY solution might make a judge mad, but you can't say that your solution wasn't effective. For another story of a stroke of lazy genius, here's a guy who needed a permit to build a garage so he just bought a van.

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Text - What is the funniest loophole you have ever seen? Kevin Yue, studied at Massachusetts Institute of Technology When I was in school, they held a robotics competition. It was pretty simple, conceptually. You had to make a firefighting robot. It would have to navigate a maze, find a candle and put it out (fully automated, no remote control). I can't remember the exact size but I think the robot had to be smaller than 1 foot in length, width, and height. Scoring was as follows. You start with

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Text - • Could separate into parts to search rooms in parallel • Operated on very little code (there were a few benchmarks for this) I entered a block of dry ice: It basically just had a spring-powered hammer to shatter it into little pieces when the start timer went (so that it would evaporate faster)

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Text - In seconds the entire maze was filled with a white fog and the candle was definitely out. I had the fastest time by a landslide even before you counted my deductions: • Didn't use a fan? Check • Search every room? Check. • Separate into parts to put out fires in parallel? Check I think I could've been the only person in history to ever win a robotics competition without writing a single line of code or soldering a single wire. But alas, the judges disqualified me by unanimous vote. WHY AR

Submitted by:

       
 

Concierge Engineers Revenge On A Gold Digging Boyfriend

Now that's what exceptional, 5-star customer service looks like right there. When this hotel's front desk agent picked up wind that there was foul play transpiring on the premises, they decided to intervene, and help the poor woman who got screwed over by her lowlife gold digging ex. Just picturing the looks on those guys' faces when the cops showed up to evict them from the property is enough to fill one's heart with joy. They completely deserved it. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/Anonymous_Annie5523 • 12h I help someone get revenge on their gold- digging ass of an SO This happened some years ago but was just reminded of it, so here you go Reddit! I worked as a front desk agent in a large luxury hotel chain for some years. One particular hotel I worked at was located really close to the downtown area and so we got a large number of young, very wealthy, business people who loved to party. I usually worked the 2nd & 3rd shifts which meant I got

2.

Text - I was working at the desk when a group of young, well- dressed men come walking in. They've all clearly been drinking, but aren't so drunk that they can't walk right and hold a conversation. One of them comes up to me and tells me that while he and his friends were at the bar, a woman was hitting on him, and even though he told her no multiple times she wouldn't stop. So he and his friends left and it wasn't until they got in the Uber that he realized he didn't have his room key anymore.

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Text - When he was telling me all of this, it didn't sit right with me. He and his friends were all grinning about it and snickering amongst one another. Then he gave a clear description of her, without being asked. Told me height, body shape, hair color, and style, the kind of dress she was wearing. All while saying it in a mocking tone. Now, this could have easily been because he thought the whole thing was ridiculous or was too drunk to take it seriously, but it really didn't sound right to m

4.

Text - About an hour or so later, the woman he described showed up. Now, by this point, my relief for the night had also shown up and was sitting at the front desk while I was in the back office counting down my cash drawer. I hadn't had a chance to tell him about the woman. Just as I'm walking out of the back office with my bag and about to leave, I see my coworker buzz the doors open and the woman comes rushing in, cuts through the lobby and down the hall to the elevators. She was barefoot, ho

5.

Text - I rushed up to him and told him what the man from before had told me about her. My coworker looked at me confused. He then pointed to the screen that had the reservation pulled up and told me that when the woman arrived, she went to use the room keys and they didn't work. So he asked for her room number and last name, she gave both and her name is on the reservation. I looked at the reservation and down in the notes, there was a woman's name listed. The man from before was listed as the p

6.

Text - Me: "Sir...just to be clear, the woman you met at the bar tonight was with you at check-in hours ago and was allowed keys then, but now she is not?" Him: (laughs to all his friends in the room) "Awww...guys I confused the poor girl." (gets back on the phone with me) "Yeah sweetheart, she's banned from the room. Don't worry about the other details, just take her name off." Me: "...I see. Then, if she isn't going to be on the room anymore, would you like us to call the police and have her r

7.

Text - We ended the call there and I got really suspicious of this. I told my coworker to not do anything and that I was going to stick around for a bit to see if anything happened. A short time later the woman came off the elevator, pouring tears, sobbing while on the phone with someone. She sat down in our lobby and my coworker and I tried to look busy while eavesdropping hard on her phone call. She was sobbing on the phone to her mom and sister. From what she told them, she was invited out to

8.

Text - that he wouldn't do it. When she confronted him pissed off, he called her a bunch of names and humiliated her in front of his friends and the entire bar. All of his friends joined in on mocking her and he threw in her face that she was "nothing without him" and dumped her right there. He and his friends then took an Uber back and left her stranded at the bar with no money and no way back. She then had to use her phone's GPS and walk back to the hotel from the bar, barefoot (she had heels,

9.

Text - My heart broke. I felt horrible. I helped this guy treat this poor woman like crap and now he and all his friends were up there laughing at her while she's sitting in our lobby sobbing and with nothing. I went over to our snacks area in the lobby, grabbed her a bottled water, and brought it to her. I told her that I couldn't help but overhear the conversation and was very sorry for her situation and asked if she would like us to help. I informed her that if he was keeping her from getting

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Text - She thanked me, took the water, and tried to calm down and talk to me about what all was happening and what her options were. Eventually, we decided on her staying in the hotel for the night and figuring out the rest in the morning. As we make it to the desk, she asks me to try and run her credit card to see if it has enough on it for another room. I ask her what she means by "another room" and she tells me that she's actually paying for the room he's in. That his name is on the room beca

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Text - This intrigued me. I asked why she was paying for the room if it was in his name. She told me that she's the one with a job, not him. That he hasn't been able to find a job in his field since graduating from college and is essentially living off of his parents' money. But just after they started dating, his parents cut him off, so he's been living off of her money. That's why she was so upset and confused by how he had been acting all night, he was sweet and doing everything for her back

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Text - I wanted to tell her that it was obvious he was using her for the money and that he would probably blame his friends for all of this and try to get back with her later on. But I doubted she would have listened to me or cared for a complete stranger to butt in on her personal life like that. So instead, I offered up a sweet piece of revenge. I informed her that, considering she's the one paying for the room, if she can confirm that it is her card on file with some sort of photo ID and veri

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Text - She was taken aback by the offer and was very sincerely tempted, she looked like she was about to say no. Then I told her that since she would be upgrading her room, that would require moving her things from that room and into her new one. Which mean the room that she is currently listed in would need to be vacated immediately, if anyone were to remain in the room after we have demanded it be vacated, we are required to have them escorted off the property or they pay for the room. Their c

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Text - I quickly upgraded her, moved everything over in the system and before I could say a word to my coworker he was already grabbing a set of master keys, a bell cart and was asking her what her luggage looked like since he would be the one retrieving it for her to deliver to her room. He didn't want her to have to deal with her ex again. She smiled and told him which ones were hers and that she hadn't unpacked yet. My coworker runs down to the elevators and up to fetch her things. While I ma

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Text - He's making a ton of demands and at the same time yelling at my coworker to stop what he's doing, but its obvious from the way he's yelling at him that my coworker isn't listening to him. I can even hear the guy's friends telling him to chill out and just pay for the room. I then explain that we will give him a courtesy 10 mins to make a decision. At which point, if he doesn't have payment ready then he must vacate the building or we will be forced to call the authorities and have him evi

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Text - 9 minutes later I call the room and he doesn't answer. I call again, no answer. I call a third time, he picks up, then immediately hangs up. I call the police and tell them what's going on and they said they're on their way. The officers arrive, I tell them what's going on, we go up to the room together and the man and his friends are all white as ghosts when they see the cops. The cops explain to the ex-boyfriend and his friends that they're being evicted. The ex-bf starts trying to talk

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Text - at this point and the cops look to me and ask if that would be acceptable. I smile very sweetly and say "no" and the cops nod and start rushing all of the guys to grab their things and leave the room. The ex-bf is the last one out the door carrying his 2 bags and complaining that he isn't even given a luggage cart and has to carry his own things. His friends all look pissed at him. I go with the officers to escort all of them out of the building and run into my coworker in the lobby. He w

Submitted by:

       
 

Weird, Bad and Dumb Building Decisions

When it comes to construction work, it helps to have an idea of the end result in mind. Without that you get some impressively unprofessional "not my job" moments. There's pipes going every which way, extremely inconvenient toilets, and unsafe maneuvers being attempted all over the place.

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Bathroom

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Ladder

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Tile

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Floor

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Toilet

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Roof

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Property

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Tile

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Property

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Wall

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Tile

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Facade

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Bathroom

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Power plugs and sockets

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Property

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Floor

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Wood

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Electrical wiring - ima GEBERIT

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Handrail

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Wire

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Floor

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Transport - HMI 5923 277 A WARNING STOP!

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Toilet

Submitted by:

       
 

Random, Hilarious, And Outright Discouraging Fails

We can all become so caught up in our daily lives and just trying to muddle through existence without making a mess of everything, that we forget that there are other people out there failing hard. Like so hard that all the rest of us can do is scratch our heads, and wonder how they've made it this far. Sometimes our brains take a recess, and dumb stuff happens. 

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Text - Grundy County Sheriff's Office 2 hrs • O Just a word of advice- If You Are Going to Make a Fake ID- leave your girlfriend out of the photo... #SeriouslyDude.. #WorstFakelDEver MISSISSIPPI CENTICATION EXRATION 7-12-2009 DA TH DATE SEX 205-3504 1977 180M CLASS ESTR ENOORSEMENTS 5-09 C JOSE PACHECO 3535 HWY 80 E PEARL MS 37208

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Hemp oil - I'm not particularly proud of this but I feel like I need to tell everyone.. you see that tiny pickle in the upper left hand side? I spent a good; 30 seconds trying to fish that dude out before I realized, that pickle is actually my pinky underneath the jar.

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Dish - |Ingredients 1/2 cup rice 1/2 cup water 1I milk 1/4 cup sugar 1 tsp vanilla essence RATING: REVIEWER: I was wanting to use up some full cream milk, bought by mistake instead of light milk. and came across this recipe. Have just cooked it and the rice is so beautiful and creamyI only added 1/3 cup of sugar as my husband doesn't like things too sweet. and it's perfect for us. Thank you very much DATE: 01-06-2015 19:1350

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Text - Halloween 2019 My Superman & his Supergirl! Ter-Lee Comedy @terryleeborror You didn't think this couples costume completely through, because Supergirl is Superman's cousin.

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Gadget - 8AS AIREAG ertow Contact

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Pink - 2,5m B/iro-USB cahl Smartphone Tablet Tamera Computer USB micro-USB ia de datos

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Gadget - Pretty sure my mom thinks she's charging it

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Text - IF YOUR S OCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WAS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU HAD... HOW RICH WOULD YOU BE??? fonzworthcutlass $34,523,2674 gochellzgo 93,780,9632 boystop 585,214,172 sualified Hold up....

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Drink - BREWED ICED TEA RESH BREWED ICED Unsweat Sweat EET infused with VITAMINS CB3: 85 Bo:81 dnfoted with NC:B3 : BS: B6: B12

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Food - When u wanna eat this but u Kant kuz u Lack toast and tall or rent

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Food - Butcher Shop Hand Crafted Sausage Pork Gummy Bear 499 Hand Crafted Lb.

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Text - wait t I think I by accident took ur phone w me Lol what? uk how I took it out of ur hand I think I still have it im searching my bag hold on Jenn yes? I'm texting you wait... omg. im so dumb I cant

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Fashion accessory

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Text - Proud Mommy moment! She used the correct use of "their" and she's only in 2nd grade!! I know 30 yr olds that can't do that! Haha çan. I do what their doing

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Property

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Font - Patrick T Shep Follow @PatrickTShep Exchange I'm currently having with my landlord. The hot water is broken 20:16 How? Can you send me some photos? 20:17 MMS It looks like this but it's not hot. 20:18

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Food

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Text - < Messages Kenny Details Messages Kenny Details LImao moLT OF LWO yet anyway Here How the do they work You ever had a cereal bar Mines won't break up or that Yes when I was 12 And it's just big chunks of you do it with hands Delivered Lmfao! Get to It was pish lol You're having me on Come again lad You didn't actually stick a cereal bar in a bowl of milk am not How the do they work having it hahahaha Mines won't break up or that Delivered And it's just big chunks of you Why else would it

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Vehicle - 324 YES

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Food - Pretty Boy Share Fol Just made some synonym rolls . 6 Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite 9 Storify . More

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Text - (i) Are you still selling the 30 inch TV No, sorry. I sold it a few days ago How about $200 I already sold it. Sorry $250 I literally do not have it Then don't waste my time

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Food - + Add Friend 18 hrs Just made chicken mediurm rare chicken strips. They're so good can't believe ive neever tried it like this before. Can't wait to dig into this with my homemade salad and veges. #healthy #newyearsresolution #clean #cleaneating

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Text - Oelnde S Caron Ment Nede Seslele R KJAP Ma 6 Poscingh Newar'k Aye A378 uS An Therstey S02 Thudi Huwmn S Tnbo F Cenhntiy Here is the schedule hey, i think you have the wrong number Then what is your number because I have the 5 that is my number Read 11:36 AM Ok then why did you say I have the wrong number because i'm not...the person you're trying to text Delivered

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Coffee cup sleeve - cark Co I said my name was Marc with a "...

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Land vehicle

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Tagged: FAIL , ridiculous , dumb , funny
       
 

Tumblr Thread: Kudzu Is A Scary Monster Plant

Ah yes, leave it to the brilliant minds of Tumblr to take us down a rabbit hole about how plants can genuinely wage war against the rest of the world. In this case, we're talking about the kudzu. The kudzu plants would fit right into a horror novel. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about the still-on submarines. 

1.

Text - inconsequential S linesofreturninggeese Follow just-shower-thoughts Follow Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him." mojave-wasteland-official "Friend" Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory. theun--sj Follow Plants don't wage war

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Text - mojave-wasteland-official Ever heard of blackberries? Yes, plants do wage war kasaron Follow Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. systlin Follow I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

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Text - Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries. And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint. moirakatson Follow This post did not go where I expected it to. S deathbeforednf Follow Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursin

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Text - 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later. Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there. norseminuteman Follow Yall mother don't even talk unless you've had to

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Text - Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. E breadgunner Can second the comments of Kudzu. I forget where I read it but there's this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a scorched earth policy. It's even more badass than plants that use toxin

6.

Nature - See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu. e zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare They smother every other living plant to death

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Natural landscape - Those trees under there are dead, they can't get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It's creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist's wet dream tbh.

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Vegetation - The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

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Vegetation - What used to be a house

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Vegetation - WINEY Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale It's an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to

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Text - spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine.. for now. e zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is on time magazine's top 10 invasive species to look out for.

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Tree

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Vegetation

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Vegetation

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Goat - This little buddy doing his part UNCOTV zachsanomaiy Follow Not to keep spamming this post but

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Leaf - Iadestatian of Kutru in dhe linited States "the growth of kudzu as it became a "structural parasite" of the South, [7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as "the vine that ate the South".[13]" "It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., "easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually". [21" yall it's been estimated this plant consumes

17.

Text - 600 kilometers of the united states every year it's been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away nixieseal Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots.. Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it. Eat it before it eats

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Text - 3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat Follow In this world it's eat or be eaten gamebird Follow Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu. Posts that make you go 'hm? Source: just-shower-thoughts 221,327 notes

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Random Things People Were Paranoid About As Kids

The rampant imaginations we have as children can make for some wild, irrational fears. That grandma who rapped off a horror story about dragon flies being able to sew people's mouths shut was really on one. Zero chill with that. Just picturing that as an adult is enough to give someone the chills. 

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Text - HermesPart4• 18h 1 Award I used to believe that girls had tiny drones to spy on the boys they liked and I was so paranoid about it. This is the first time Il'm telling anyone

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Text - africanasshat • 18h S 1 Award When I was young I was never sure if other people were real and I was paranoid over other people's ability to read my thoughts. Took many years until I was satisfied that they couldn't hear what was going on inside my head. Reply 597 ...

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Text - abeast0333 • 18h My parents dying on the way back home. Idk why, just was my number one fear Reply 82 ...

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Text - TheChaosExecutioner • 17h That if I didn't a. Spit in the toilet before flushing or b. Run out of the bathroom right after flushing, that a monster would come out of the toilet and kill me. Can't make this shit up Reply 82 ...

5.

Text - FBI-MACHINE • 17h That goddamned vent thing at the bottom of the swimming pool. Reply 429

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Text - Kung-fu-kenny69 • 18h someone breaking into my house... I live on the 3rd floor of an apartment Reply 45 ...

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Text - idkwhatmenameshouldb • 18h Cars following our car. Genuinely used to memorise number plates then turn around 5 mins later and check if any of those number plates were still behind us. I'm talking like 3/4 cars back because "they may not want to make it obvious and be directly behind us" we're literally no one special so idk why anyone would even want to follow us Reply 1 194

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Text - 5119medmusic• 16h I loved my cats so much as a little kid that I honestly believed that if someone broke into our house that they would try to hurt our kitties on top of trying to steal things. I had no concept that a burglar really isn't interested in pets but rather are only focused on valuables. I just thought people who broke into places they shouldn't were generally evil and would do as many evil things as they could once inside, such as hurt my animals. I am SUPER sensitive to pet o

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Text - ta_2_usd • 18h My grandma told me dragonflies would sew my mouth shut so...yeah, dragonflies Reply 129 ...

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Text - Heroshade • 17h I was worried if I ate too much l'd get pregnant. Reply 66 ...

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Text - dustyspectacles • 16h 1 Award Rust on cars. I thought it meant they were dying and I felt really bad for them, like I shouldn't be looking. So I would hold tight to my mom or dad's hand and stare at the ground in parking lots, hoping I wouldn't see any rusty cars. Reply 129 ...

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Text - zemorah • 16h Uncovered feet in bed. Everyone knows that's how monsters get your toes. Reply 33 ...

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Text - Pillsbury_No_Boi • 17h Mascot costumes, I remember hiding under a table at the hometown buffet because they had giant bee mascot for some reason Reply 25 ...

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Text - NudlePockets • 16h I was worried for a very long time as a child about the end of the world. For whatever reason, disaster always seemed on the horizon growing up so I was always anxious about everyone and everything I knew disintegrating before me. Should've been my parents first clue that I had an anxiety disorder, but oh well. Reply 27 ...

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Text - -EDGAR- • 16h Balloons. Specifically, balloons popping. When I was young my dad popped one near my face as a joke, but it really traumatized me. I hated going to birthday parties as a kid because there were always games where you had to pop a balloon in some form. So, whenever I was around them I was always paranoid about them popping because it triggered this panic within me. Reply 15 ...

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Text - ohmy285here • 17h Someone standing outside my bedroom door at night. I swear it was the shadow man. Really! It still gives me creeps today. Reply 13 ...

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Text - mammakatt13• 17h Vampires. I read Stephen King's Salem's Lot when I was WAY too young, and I worried about vampires for years. Reply 8

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Text - Bodkie • 17h Touching crinkle cut chips that were folded over on themselves (wish chips) with my thumb. The gaps between steps. Getting near any sort of railing that looked down 1+ levels in a building or outside. My parents dying cos they didn't pass on chain mail. Sliding doors coming off their track and trapping me forever. More, no doubt. You might say I was a bit of a neurotic kid. Reply 8 ...

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White - actual_zoombini • 18h Mirrors. Reply 62

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Text - thematrixs • 17h My parents finding my journal. Or my stash of money I saved. Reply 25 ...

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Text - townie0114 • 16h I was about six when I choked on a piece of gum while running around and my life flashed before my eyes. It took quite a few years before I could even be in a room with a packet of gum, fearing l'd somehow choke on it without even chewing it. Reply ...

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Text - booksoverppl • 17h I used to think everyone was able to read my thoughts, so even if I disliked someone l'd force myself to think good things about them. Reply 8 ...

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Text - getrichortrydieing • 16h Elevator would fall at the top. Felt this way until I did security. Then a elevator became my dam sacred place to get the fuck away from everyone Reply 5 + ...

24.

Text - loufitz3 • 16h That my life was The Truman Show (before it was ever released) Reply ...

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Customer's Translation Fail Results In Begging Bartender For Nothing

Translation fails inspire all kinds of hilarious confusion between two perfectly rational human beings. In this case, we have a customer unknowingly repeatedly pleading for nothing at all. If you're the bartender on the other side of that mishap, do you let the oblivious stupidity persist, or do you correct the translation fail as soon as possible? Could be a tough call if you end up wanting to have some fun with it. 

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Text - r/tifu + Join u/pzych_ • 2d TIFU by begging a bar tender for nothing M So this story happened about a year ago, and requires some cultural context. In Ireland, there's been a recent resurgence in the Irish language, and a lot of movement to promote Irish speaking throughout the countries. This resulted in an Irish speaking bar being opened in Dublin. I didn't grow up in Ireland, so I don't speak a word of Irish- but my best friend was begging me to go with her to this bar. I relented, but

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Text - So we get to the bar, and she tells me when it's our turn to speak to the bouncer, just say "dia dhuit", which means hello, and she'll chat away to distract him. Our plan goes off without a hitch, and we're in! I turn, ready to ask my friend to order me a drink, to find her lost in the eyes of a boy she'd met a few nights previously. Not wanting to get in her way, I just gently shook her shoulder, and we have a conversation as follows. Me: "Hey, how do I ask for an Orchard Thieves in Iris

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Text - I nod and leave her to it, and make my way determinedly to the bar. The bar man comes over and says something in Irish I can't understand, so I panic, and just shout out my order. "Le do thoil!" The barman returns a blank look. I take this as him not having understood me, and decide I need to be more clear. "LE. DO. THOIL." The bar man cocks his head, and says something that I again, don't understand. Now fully panicking, I decide to just keep repeating myself in different inflections unt

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Text - "Jesus Christ girl just speak English. What do you want?!" "Just an Orchard Thieves!" The bar man walks away, muttering, "Why didn't you just say so?" Embarrassed my friend had put me in this position, I marched up to her and yanked her off the boy who she'd been chatting up. "What did you tell me to say?" I demand. "Huh? I told you how to say Orchard Thieves please?" "Yeah well, clearly the way you say it is wrong, because the barman had no idea what I was saying."

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Text - My friend looks at me suspiciously. "Pzych, what did you say, exactly?" "I said le do thoil. And I said it a bunch of ways as wellI, so there's no way I got the pronunciation wrong." "Wait," my friend responds. "You said JUST le do thoil?" "Yeah!" I replied, indignant. "That's what you told me to say!" "No, I told you to say Orchard Thieves le do thoil! Le do thoil means please you eejit!"

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Text - And then it dawned on me. Of course you don't translate Orchard Thieves- it's a brand name! So that meant that I was just repeating, in varying tones and levels of panic, "please please please" to this poor bar tender. I am, indeed, an eejit. TL;DR: I misunderstood how to ask for a drink in Irish, and ended up just repeating "please" to the poor bartender with varying levels of panic. Edit: for all those people trying to correct me to say it's meant to be Gaelic 1 12 7 7 12 27.8k 774 1 Sh

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