Tumblr Thread: Recipes From Around The World and more...

This quick and entertaining Tumblr thread shines light on various recipe stereotypes from all corners of the globe. The comments section really stepped up to keep the train rolling with more hot takes on recipes. You be the judge on whether or not this is an accurate reflection of different recipes as they're typically known to specific cultures. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread about collateral damage caused by Mythbusters.

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Text - french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house thirdtimecharmed american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

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Text - svynakee chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. orriculum English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy dianetti Australian recipes: just... fcki ng put the sprinkles...on the bread... h oly shit fuccin gourmet cuisine right the re holy fuck

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Text - HonorlnDefeat • 22h • ACTIVATE THE QUAZARS! . Mexican Recipes: You will never get it the way abuelita makes it, just make Tex-Mex, idiot Tex-Mex Recipes: You are eating spice. Fucking spicy food. It's hot as shit. All other foods are wimpy little snowflakes for not putting as much spiciness on food as we do. A dragon will manifest in your stomach and fucking ruin your life. Your tongue will fucking protest the south vietnamese government. Witches will sympathize with your charred and ruin

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Text - alxwak • 20h 1 Award The greek recipes are usually passed down through generations and are like the Asian ones. Me: puts a pinch of salt to the food Grandma: that's not enough Me: puts a second pinch Grandma: that's way too much! Me: how much should I have put? Grandma: you know. A pinch. Reply 197 ...

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Text - QuantumMemery01 • 21h • Not gay, BUT Brazillian recipes: don't even bother, we all know you'll just eat rice and beans again Reply 89 ...

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Text - AlpacaMan104•21h Dutch Recipes: throw a bunch of fuckin vegetables in a pot then flatten em Reply 93 ...

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Text - SteveHeist • 21h • Clueless Ace Babish recipes: Ok, first we need a calf. We need to raise it on a blend of 60% grass & 40% barley for maximum beef tenderness. While that's going, plant the corn stalks for the cornbread, and fertilize with a dead fish, seasoned to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Reply 188 ...

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Text - OdiiKii1313 • 19h • ÙwÚ Cuban recipes: Now, what you're gonna wanna do is take your entire spice rack and just dump everything on the food. Make sure to go extra hard on the olive oil and garlic. Now bake and serve with so many sides you literally explode, die of heart disease, and develop diabetes at the same time. Reply 60 ...

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Text - dormant_kerosene • 18h • femboy with a gun Indian Recipes: Contemplate. Go for a walk. Take a deep breath. See that garlic? You are that garlic. Take a bite out of it.

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Text - roseofhammerfell • 17h Midwestern USA Recipes: Take all the ingredients for any recipe, put them in a glass dish, and then add cheese. All the cheese. Cheese curds, shredded cheese, melted cheese, the works. Extra points if you also add mayo or tator tots. Bake for 20 minutes and call it a casserole. Reply 36 ...

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Text - SaraiHarada • 18h German recipes: Well, we wrote you instructions, but don't follow them. Just a bit. But not fully, you will need to change a few things. How much you ask? Until it feels right of course. Reply 31

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Tagged: tumblr , relatable , recipes , ridiculous , food , culture , funny tumblr , eat , eating

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Wholesome Memes for a Little Boost

Life can give us a lot of garbage to deal with, so it's healthy to have a reminder that all the time there are people pulling through for each other. Even among the rough, there's some diamonds of positivity to grab onto. For example, there's this wholesome security team who saved an office's plants, or this wholesome neighbor who's helpful for no reason.

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Hair - 7 This 8-year-old boy spent 2 years growing his hair to make wigs for kids with cancer.

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Dish - Madea pie crust. Turned around to get filling. Turned back around and this is what I found.

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Text - AMFarmer @AM_Farmer I know things are dark, but I just watched the FedEx guy pluck a snail from the sidewalk, cradle it in his gloves, and find just the right-sized tulip in our front yard to set it inside.

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Ceiling - "Delivery guys who put in the extra effort to decrease the chance of your package getting stolen are the real MVPS."

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Tattoo - "During my wrist surgery, the surgeon incised around my tattoo. He could've not cared and cut right through it."

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Text - I convinced my dad to get his first tattoo and he sent me something that my little sister painted...let's just say I'm a crying mess right now Solitaire LTE e 87% 7:07 PM Look at some of her sketches when 37 you get home. F father > Would you get the color or just black? I think I'd have to get the color. She put the colors for a reason. It's almost pride like right?! I do have two gay daughters whom I'm very proud of, so I think I would definitely get the color I love you so much, my hea

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Fun - "These 2 girlsI met tonight spent half an hour comforting this crying homeless woman. After she stopped crying, they chatted with her for another 30 minutes."

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Facial expression - My nan has dementia and every day she meets my dog for the first time and falls in love with him over and over again

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Vehicle door - My parents told my little sister she couldn't dye her hair unless she found someone to do it with her ... so guess who has purple hair now KE

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Skin - Northern ghost bats are grumpy cotton balls

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Dinosaur - "My wife took our cat to the vet and my son told the vet his toy dinosaur was feeling bad, so the vet gave it an X-ray.."

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Photograph - "Yesterday Imarried my soulmate and our little boy delivered the rings with his wheelchair"

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Text - Before we got married, you already had your own ps4 but you sold it to buy my engagement ring. So I replaced with a new one for your birthday. Happy birthday husband. fotion PlayStation STARTER STARTER

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Text - Don't get excited. I'm reusing the hox. psych! NDO Enjoy! NI SWITCH

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Tagged: aww , wholesome , kindness , Memes , nice , good , wholesome memes

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Dudes Try Their Best to Get Ball Back

Honestly, most of us would see a ball in a canal like that and just chalk it up as a loss. But not these guys. These guys went through hell and low water to get that thing back. It may not have been the perfect plan, but hell, you can't fault them for all the effort.

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Tagged: effort , ball , save , lol , amazing , return , funny , trying

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Tumblr Thread: Cultures Clash Over The Size Of The UK

People on the internet are finding something new to argue about every day. This time though, we've got a very serious matter at hand; we're talking about cultures clashing over the size of the UK. It's key to note that distance isn't everything. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this post about the banana-fixated cat.

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Text - im-a-tnuc-deactivated20181220 I don't know why, but I think some Americans don't realise how big the UK is.... American Customer: you're English right? Do you know the bookshop between Wales and Bristol that has lots of books in? Me in my head: yeah mate, I know that one. Classic. Love to pop down there on a cheeky break between work. What a wanker... lizq-vs-the-kitkatuprising the continuous 48 states are is almost 39x the size of the isle of great britan that's your answer

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Map - A mymindsecho For reference: North Sea Edinburgh Glasgow United Kingdom Denm Isle of Man Leeds Hamb Dublin Manchester OOsheffield Liverpool Birmingham Bremen tietand Amsterdam Bielefeld Netherlands London Dusseldort Belgium Gern Cologne Lurembourg Frankfurt Paris

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Text - That's JUST Texas. pukicho When will the UK learn that they are puny little ants in which to be crushed???

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Text - toastpotent where's that post where the british person was like "oh yeah i only get to see my dad 2-3 times a year because he lives so far away :/" and a person asked "oh no how far away is he?" and the british person said "75 minutes"

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Text - op it literally takes about 20 minutes to get to wales from bristol, op that's a reasonable question do you understand geography amandabellman leave europe alone you fucking colonizers

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Text - darkvioletcloud It takes my mom an hour to drive to work. Sometimes more. Europeans are cowards. armchair-factotum "Leave Europe alone you fucking colonizers" Should we tell them?

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Text - keyhollow I drove 6 hours just to pick someone up and bring them home because it's nbd choochoobear Sorry, I'm still stuck on "Leave Europe alone, you colonizers." lasombritas do they know

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Text - cuteskitty OnIMaps @onlmaps Follow Chile Is Long Enough To Stretch From Lisbon, Portugal To Moscow, Russia When Overlaid On Europe. #map #maps te United Kingdem Poland Germany Uraine Fra Romania

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Tagged: tumblr , UK , culture , funny tumblr

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Guy Plays Mind-Boggling Cover Of Interstellar On Accordion

Whoever says that accordions are not awesome instruments capable of epic performances has clearly never seen this. Batman is the hero we need and deserve.

Submitted by: (via Batman A :[]\\\\[])

Tagged: impressive , cool , Music , accordion , interstellar , win

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Toxic Boss Drives Employees To Their Breaking Point

Just picturing the look on this dude's face when he turned up, looking to make money off selling those shirts and realizing that he had nothing is enough to fill one's heart with joy. Omaha sure was a long way to go over nothing.

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/SadConfiguration • 2y And the deposit was lost... I'm somewhat new to reddit and have been reading these pro revenge stories and feel like I have a good offering. In the early 2000's I was working at a Graphics and T- Shirt printing shop in a major college town in the Midwest. I was a graphic design major and it just made sense for me to be involved in screen printing and design. The owner of the company was a very socially awkward dude that went to the university an

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Text - around after graduation to make his money. He had deep roots in the community, was on several alumni boards, etc... as such he had many large contracts with universities in the same athletic conference (one of the largest in the nation) as our college. This meant we spent most of our day rehashing old sports designs to meet new criteria. A lot of it was event based, meaning if a certain team won a certain game and there needed to be a shirt made to commemorate it, I was on call to do that

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Text - Now (we'll call him) Ron wasn't a cheery guy. In fact I don't think l'd ever seen him smile. But as of late he had been getting more bold with his three designers (myself, Tim, and Carla, who was the art director). He would venture up into the art room and hover while we worked. He evidently didn't like what he saw because he made me take my inspiration board down because it was "clutter". The hovering and critiquing didn't sit well with us, but whatever, it's his business. Then, he hires

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Text - designs and the amount of time it took us to do them. Needless to say, we weren't happy. So, one day Tim and I come back from lunch and Ron is upstairs in the design room lighting Carla up. He's yelling that she was costing him money because designs were sent back for revisions or took too long or just plain weren't good. As we were all very competent designers and worked under ridiculous deadlines all the time, it kinda confused us. Regardless, Tim and I both liked Carla as a boss and di

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Text - pushed past us on the way down the stairs and went home. She had been getting recruited by another screen printing place in town anyway, so she took that opportunity to jump ship. Good for her we thought. Fast forward about a month. Tim and I were even more unhappy than before because now, not only were Ron and his dad constantly breathing down our necks, but we had a three person workload with two people. He became even more pushy and rude and started to come unhinged. I almost hit him o

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Text - The CWS (College World Series) is in Omaha every year. The CWS was Ron's second biggest cash cow next to the NCAA Men's basketball tournament in March. Every year he rented an 18 wheeler with a 4- color process press in the back of it to take to Omaha. The deposit was $10k and like another $10k for the full rental. We'd watch the games and start getting the designs ready as soon as it was apparent a team was going to win. We printed the shirts right there on the spot and had them hot off

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Text - riding in the truck, his assistant and several other office staff were pooling in a van, and Tim and I were driving separate in my truck. It was to be a convoy. The truck took off, the van fell in behind it, and we fell in behind the van. They turned off on the highway toward Omaha and Tim and I went to the bar. They didn't notice until they got to Omaha. I saved the voicemails just in case I disappear some day. He shuttered four months later and rebranded as a design only firm. Gotcha Bi

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Tagged: boss , employee , satisfying , FAIL , revenge , ridiculous , Reddit

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Ridiculous Google Question Spirals Out Of Control

This quick Tumblr post shows just how quickly those dumb questions we type into Google can quickly spiral out of control. At least we don't actually have tons of moths trying to fly into the sun everyday. That'd be sad. Very sad. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread that provides an extreme analysis of the Ratatouille timeline.

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Tagged: FAIL , tumblr , sun , dumb , funny , space , funny tumblr

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Tumblr Post: Barista Handles Trickster Customer

Every now and again we can get caught up in unique interactions while out going about our daily business that reminds us we share a planet with some particularly unique individuals. This quick and entertaining Tumblr post about a strange customer makes him sound like he was the mad hatter himself.

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Text - taylortut y'all know that john mulaney quote "the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?" every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

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Text - taylor-tut i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was "watching her weight" so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says "wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?" (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

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Text - anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying "you can't wait for a watch; you don't have the time" and then he said "oh, quick girl!", gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything patron-saint-of-smart-asses You pleased a mad fae trickster

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Tagged: customer service , barista , tumblr , coffee , funny tumblr

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Karen And Child Get Upset Over Cookie, Hilarity Ensues

Clearly, Karen never learned the idea of "sharing is caring." Fortunately, this cookie enthusiast was ready to step up and deliver the lesson that needed learning. The fact that they just walked on, and carried on with their business was really the icing on the cake. Some people are just impossible to be reasoned with. Check out some more juicy Karen drama, with this Karen who wanted her tip back from a perfectly great waitress.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge u/MaxTitanium • 1d + Join Sharing is caring, and Karen ain't caring One day, I was walking through City Market with my mom, the quiet buzzing of the lights only slightly annoying. All seemed well, and I decided to get one of the sample cookies from the back. Seems perfectly normal, right? So, I grab my cookie, which happened to be the last non-burnt one, as another family is coming into the back aisle. I'm not a particularly social person, so I started to walk away. This fa

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Text - They realize that there aren't any more non burnt cookies, which, in my opinion, shouldn't be a problem. Cookies are cookies, especially free ones. The child wails horrifically, and notices that my cookie, that I haven't yet taken a bite out of, wasn't burnt! Wonderful observation skills, little Timmy. The mom approaches me and asks in a sickly sweet tone, one you can tell is obviously faked, if I would mind giving my cookie to her kid. I wasn't sure if the tone was from her having a head

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Text - The kid looked confused at this, which immediately felt off. The mom's face contorted from 'nice' to confused to offended very quickly, as if not offering the entire cookie had somehow forsaken her entire family and she stared at me like I was going to sacrifice a goat in order to curse them. I, naturally, was confused, and realizing what was happening a bit too late, backed away and tried walking away. The lady placed her hand on my shoulder, preventing me from walking away. (I was maybe

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Text - The guttural "rrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeEeEeEeEeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE" released from both her and her entitled child gave me the chills, and she marched up to me and tried to take the cookie from me. Before she could, a lightbulb flickered on, before bursting in my head from the excitement to see the next levels of rage and profanities my plan was about to induce. I stuffed the entire cookie in my mouth. Now, these cookies were fairly big, bigger than the basic sugar cookies they usually gi

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Text - Karen exploded at me, screeching profanities at me, many of which I surprisingly hadn't heard before. I stood there, the smuggest grin on my little face, as I slooowly chewed on the cookie, continuing to rub salt in the wound, until the profanities turned into indiscernible noises. Was it wrong of me to do so? Probably. Do I regret doing so? Absolutely not. After maybe three minutes of random sounds ejecting from the deep, dark chasm this woman produced, she stopped to take a breath. I ha

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Text - "I'm not done with you!" She yelled after me. Obviously, I chose to ignore her at this point, as I was just done with her. As soon as I was out of the aisle, I booked it back to my mom and continued on like nothing had happened. TI;dr: Karen and her child got upset when they couldn't have my free cookie from City Market, hilarity ensues. Edit-Thank you everyone for the kind words, and may your chocolate chip cookies never turn out to be raisins! 1 1 7 2 3.5k 214 1 Share

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Tagged: FAIL , revenge , petty , ridiculous , Reddit , karen , cookies

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Impressive and Dumb Low Budget DIY Solutions

Life hands us all sorts of technical challenges, and it's up to us to solve them with our own ingenuity. Sometimes that ingenuity leads us to using a defunct school bus as a bridge, and other times it leads us to gluing a fan to the ceiling. A lot of these low budget fixes and DIY solutions are bad, unsafe and extremely unadvisable, so take that with a heaping pile of salt.

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Wall - To ring door bell, Connect wires.

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Footwear - Aug 26 . Did a custom install on some light bars for the Crocs, for the treacherous walks back to the cooler for another brewski at night. O Like O Comment

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Land vehicle - DUA 735 MOUNTAINEERSY SENNA AWD XIE TONOTA

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Material property - When you forget for lunch.. . a fork

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Product - installed a ceiling fan in my room

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Land vehicle - ► Like photoshop, but with welding 9h · O correct me if im wrong but looks like they have to put it in reverse to go forward EAEAM

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Food - ROsarita VEGETARIAN Refried Beans Frijoles Refritos FIBER 120

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Bottle - JAPAECE VEGET UE HA sPesch Orgri SRIRACHA HOT G 豐食此 HUY FON So0 Earle. NET WT. 2 Oz. (1 al tpai t

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Tagged: wtf , engineering , do it yourself , lol , solutions , DIY , stupid , macgyver

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Things That Smell Good But Taste Bad

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about things that smell good, but actually taste terrible. What comes to mind before anything else, would be dog food. Anyone else? Stuff always smelled so good, and maybe you went out there on a limb, tasted the stuff, and instantly realized that the stuff in fact is not at all good for human consumption.

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White - SooLine • 5h Straight vanilla extract. Reply 1.2k ...

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White - duchy4112 • 5h Candles Reply 626 ...

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White - OttoManSatire • 3h Orange peels Reply 35 ... +3

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White - AR100 • 5h Laundry detergent Reply 29 ...

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Text - thedean246 • 4h 2 Awards Cocoa powder. When I was a kid I was so convinced that it would taste good. My mom even tried to warn me, but it's chocolate right? My younger self was very disappointed. Reply 442 ...

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White - Qasim_m • 4h Perfume Reply 32 ... +3

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Text - cannotaccessorize • 4h 1 Award PLAYDOH!!! Reply 122 ...

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Text - bbkeef • 4h Febreeze (sometimes you spray too much and end up tasting it) Reply 23 ...

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Text - VictorBlimpmuscle • 4h Cherry-flavored chapstick - 5-year-old me learned that one the hard way. Reply 102 ...

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White - PiscesPolack • 5h Roses. Reply 67 ...

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White - noah_cooley • 5h 1 Award Coffee Reply 122 ...

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White - PMforTributes • 4h Almond extract Reply ...

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White - Lucille68 • 4h Dog treats. Reply 4 ... +3

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White - EmLahLady • 3h Cat food. Reply Vote ...

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White - Cordealio • 3h Gasoline. Reply Vote ...

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White - Turtleman237 • 5h Soap Reply 286 +3

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Text - ChoPT • 3h Those scented markers we had as kids. Reply 19 ...

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Text - pokegirl395 • 3h Cinnamon. Straight up cinnamon is disgusting Reply Vote ...

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White - RealNumber44•5h Campfire smoke Reply 210 ...

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Text - Rukawork • 3h There are some Tea's that smell amazing but taste like horrible bitter garbage. Reply 14 ...

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Tagged: FAIL , gross , relatable , askreddit , food , Reddit , funny

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Patient Lists Their Mistress as Emergency Contact, Gets Exposed

We're not trying to promote infidelity or try to make anyone better at cheating on their spouse, but who in their right mind leaves a paper trail? It seems like if you wanted to get away with this sort of thing, you'd try not to leave official evidence of your extra-marital affairs. For a cheater brought to justice, here's someone who left their cheating ex on the top of a mountain.

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Text - Posted by u/eatapeach18 3 days ago I called d my patient's mistress, but I was just doing what I was told oc L This happened back in 2009. I was working part time at a doctor's office while I was in nursing school. I was one of the receptionists and did all the filing and cataloguing and such. It was boring work, but the doctor (my boss) guaranteed me a job after nursing school so that's why I did it. This particular doctor was an orthopedic surgeon. We had lots of patients coming in for

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Text - It was imperative that Frank got his images or else he wouldn't be able to have his surgery. So I looked in his file to see if he had any other contact information. He listed his home phone number, as well as his wife's cell. I called his house and left a message, and I also called his wife, Amy, but she didn't answer either so I left her a message as well. The office manager, Diane, told me to just call whoever was listed in his emergency contacts because if Frank didn't get his images a

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Text - I didn't want to get fired for being insubordinate, so I called Helen and she actually answered her phone (I was secretly hoping she wouldn't) and told her Frank's images needed to be picked up prior to his surgery. She came by during lunch, got the images, and then left. I immediately called Frank again to let him know that Helen picked up his images and to not worry about it, but this fool wasn't answering his phone, soI left him another message. A couple hours later, Amy called back an

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Text - Me: [at this point I'm really nervous] No, not his brother. Amy: Well then who? Me: Helen. Amy: Who is Helen? I don't know anyone named Helen. Me: I'm not sure, but since she was on Frank's emergency contact list and no one else was answering their phone, we called her and she already came and got the images. Confused, Amy hung up.

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Text - The following day was Frank's surgery. The day after Frank's surgery, my boss jokingly asked me "What the hell did you do to that guy?? He came in all pissed at me saying that my secretary told his wife about his other girlfriend." I told my boss what happened and that Diane told me to call the girlfriend, and he understood. Diane tried to throw me under the bus by saying I didn't tell her that Helen was Frank's girlfriend, and that I had told her Helen was "just a friend," and that she n

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Tagged: contacts , wtf , emergency , affair , relationships , lol , cheating , story , dating fails , hospital , dating

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Comedy Gems From Twitter's Funniest Dad

Just in case you weren't already aware, James Breakwell is infamous in the Twitter realm for churning out comedy gems about the fleeting triumphs and frequent stresses of raising children. Any parent that has experienced the emotional rollercoaster of raising some kids will relate with these tweets. He also shares some funny moments from his marriage that are sure to strike some chords for married folks as well.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Wife: *points to 2-year-old* She's eating chips for breakfast! Me: I didn't let her. Wife: Me: I was eating them and she overpowered me. >

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Me: I took out the garbage. Wife: Wow, you did one whole chore. Do you want a cookie? Me: Wife: What? Me: Are there really cookies?

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: No school on Monday! Me: What do you want to do? 6: Not go to school. Me: What else? 6: What else do I need?

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Wife: My secret chocolate stash is gone. Me: I have no idea why. Wife: You're the only one who can reach it. Me: I have one idea why.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: Why do you take a long time in the bathroom? Wife: To look pretty 6: Why doesn't Dad take a long time? Wife: There's no hope.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Me: I have people skills. Wife: You make everyone avoid you. Me: That takes skill.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: I cleaned up the mess in my room like you asked Me: There's still a ton of stuff on the floor 4: That's a new, different mess

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Breaking news: My kid is crying. Note I said "kid," not "kids." This is the quietest my house has ever been. | think l'll take a nap. >

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn How to put on socks like my 4-year- old: 1) Put on one sock. 2) Sing for 20 minutes. 3) Put on the other sock. 4) Wonder why we're late.

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn I told my kids l'd turn the car around if they didn't shape up They knew I was bluffing Going home would mean spending more time with them

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn My wife texted to ask if I bought paper towels I said I got a boatload My phone changed it to "butt loaf" Now my wife has many questions

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn Me: I'm sorry. Wife: For what? Me: Oh. Nothing. I did nothing.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: What's for dinner? Me: Leftovers. 6: But I didn't like it the first time. Me: That's why we have so much left.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn I'm so out of it I just asked my dog to hand me something. To be fair, he gave me the same blank stare my kids would have.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: *walks in with an empty sleeve and an arm tucked inside her shirt* Me: What happened to you? 4: Lightsaber.

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: *fast forwards all the way through a movie* Me: You can't just skip to the happy ending. 6: I don't have time for problems.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Me: What's wrong? 4-year-old: I'm always thinking about cake. Me: *holds her tight* It never stops.

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 4: I need less friends. Me: Why? 4: They want to share my snacks Me: What if they have snacks to share with you? 4: I need more friends. <>

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn My wife and I are about to assemble a TV stand as a team. I'm telling you now because this is probably my last post as a married man. <>

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Wife: *gets back from the butcher shop* They said this is the hottest sausage l'll ever have. Me: Actually- Wife: NO.

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Tagged: twitter , kids , relatable , dad jokes , parenting , social media , ridiculous

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History Memes to Feel Smart About

Does knowing one or two facts about a particular battle actually make anyone that much more aware? Maybe a little. It's hard to tell. What knowing that historical context does do however, is set one up for some sweet memes that use all of history as a great well of inside jokes. For an interesting history thread, here's a tumblr thread about how mundane people are important to history.

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Long hair - Cold War summarized : Um...whatcha got there Um..whatcha got there? A smoothie A smoothie

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Furniture - Rome in 476 AD Germanic Tribes

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Text - the Celtic cavalry at Alesia potholes, WOoden skewers and flaming a charge at full gallop arrows

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Text - BYZANTINE EMPIREI DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, INEED TO DEFEND MY BORDERS AGAINST THE TURKS, ITCANT BE WORSE SOME VENETIAN CRUSADERS: BUONGIORNO!

5.

Adaptation - France: "We'll pay you lots of gold if you stop raíding us Vikings: You will?

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Photo caption - The Vikings after finding out that monasteries are filled with gold and people that can't fight

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Photo caption - Vikings: *Invade England* Anglo-Saxons: INLAND You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

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Text - English and French since the begining of time Fuck you and l'll see you tomorrow!

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Clothing - when your parents ask why that 90 kg stone is 300 m away

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Face - Pimples? Zero Blackheads? Zero NUMBER OF THINGS COLUMBUS WAS RIGHT ABOUT ZERO imgflip.com

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Text - Napoleon after escaping Elba and returning to France for 110 days Daddy's home.

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People - William Morton: discovers anaesthetics in 1846 People who had amputations in 1845:

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Photo caption - USS Maine USA [adultswim.com] USS Maine USA Why would Spain do this-?m [adulvim.com]

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Bridle - What Marx wanted What lenin and stalin made

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Face - France Luxembourg They beat me in a month. A month? I lasted an entire day. Denmark Austria A day? I got invaded in a few hours! You guys got invaded?

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Photograph - Germany Poland Britain & France Czechoslovakia

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Text - Select all squares with Finnish Snipers Verity

18.

Facial expression - AntriGrain The British at Dunkirk Germany I think I forgot something. If you forgot, then it wasn't important. 35k French troops Yeah, you're right.

19.

Hair - Four photos of Kylie Jenner that will make you go "Wait that's not Kylie Jenner, thats Alan Mathison Turing who cracked the enigma code and turned the tide of World War 2 in the Allies' favour"

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Text - How to spot a commie bastard 1. Be in 50's or 60's America 2. Call a person you don't like a commie You can thank me later

21.

Text - Nobody: 95% of modern Greek history In terms of money, we have no money

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Tagged: history memes , facts , history , learning , interesting , lol , knowledge , funny

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Dumbest Things Dudes Did To Prove Their Manhood

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the stupidest things that guys did in an attempt to prove their manhood. Of the answers provided in this wild thread, we're probably most blown away by the dude who decided that eating a bee would be a phenomenal way to display his bravery. Like, what? Also, ow. Also, leave the poor bee out of this.

1.

Text - Perivoid • 1d 1 Award This one kid at my old school ate a bee to prove he wasn't scared of them Reply 1 3.4k ...

2.

White - taliauli • 1d Try to 'ride' an alligator Reply 8.2k ...

3.

Text - erwreckahh • 1d Coming from a server. Man literally said he didnt need or want help. (maybe he didnt want to share the tip? Who knows bro) anyway, carried 15 drinks on one tray with TWO full coffee pots and broke every single glass. Did not see that man after that shift. Tried to do this all with one hand Reply 1.7k ...

4.

5.

Text - LizardPossum • 1d 1 Award Refuse to say the word "selfie. Dude called it a "selfos" because "selfie" sounded too girly. Reply 5.4k ...

6.

Text - Breaker-of-circles • 1d Propose to a woman who doesn't love him back because she said he isn't man enough for commitment.

7.

Text - MedusaStone • 1d 1 Award The "I'm not cold" guy, and his cousin, the "sunblock is for pussies" guy. The former likes to stand around outside in the snow in just a t shirt and shorts, making fun of men dressed properly for winter. The later thinks 'real men' aren't afraid of sunburns or skin cancer, and ridicules men that use sunblock. Both are equally stupid. Reply 3.3k ...

8.

Text - SayNoToStim • 1d 1 Award Remember that solar eclipse we had a while ago? Like 3 ish years ago? Yeah an idiot that I know thought he was tough enough to stare at it

9.

Text - Saxaphool • 1d 2 Awards Slightly tangential, but still relevant. Boot camp and we were doing our fitness test; had to run a mile and a half, best effort, usual army bullshit. I'm not much of a runner, but I can pass the test fine. Heading into the final stretch and a girl from our sister troop started pulling past me. My Sgt starts screaming at me "SAXOPHOOL YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET A FUCKING GIRL BEAT YOU?!?!?!?!" Ummmm, yeah? She's a dam good runner! I carried on at my pace, finished the

10.

Text - Hibcoolness_ • 1d Jumped into the a pool when I didn't know how to swim. Learned how to swim out of sheer will that day Reply 469

11.

Text - eyearejon • 1d Buddy of mine and I were in a hot sauce store as l'm a bit of a connoisseur. I can take quite a lot of spice but I know my limits. My buddy was trying to show out and he asks to taste the spiciest stuff (which, by the way, requires you to sign a waiver. He does okay for the first like two minutes. But then I start to see panic setting on as he's sweating profusely, pacing and spitting. He abruptly disappears for like 20 minutes. I'm assuming he was puking his spice laden gu

12.

Text - mykidisonhere • 1d Break out of a cornstalk maze. We were on a family outing sponsored by the moms group I attended. We were wandering around for a while with the three kids, as you do. Our kids were running around, having fun in the maze and with the other families there that we knew. My ex-husband seems to think the agenda is to solve this puzzle and he's impatient for us, our two mid sized boys and our preschooler to get through as quickly as possible. Out of nowhere he gets the crazy

13.

Text - Wotzehell • 1d Having children. If you're doing that not because you're really reallysure you want children but rather because you where told too often that having children is part or "growing up" or something, a milestone to achieve on the way to "Manhood", then that would be stupid. Reply 1 181 ...

14.

Text - -Jesus-Of-Nazareth- • 1d Use extremely hot salsa on their food and then smirk at us before taking a bite. Like... Ok dude, I don't know how making your anuns hurt in a few hours makes you more of a man, but you do you. Reply 162

15.

Text - FifiClement • 1d One time I held grabbed my guy friends arm and he immediately flexed it. I rolled my eyes and said, "boy quit flexing." He did Reply 1 94 ...

16.

Text - funsae • 1d Jump off the roof of the garage into a full trash can. Reply 1 17 ...

17.

Text - loleetahaze • 1d Brag about how he didn't wash his face except for in the shower when he'd wash his hair so it drips down to his face. When I asked him why he said taking care of your skin and moistruizing and washing it is 'female behavior' Same guy wouldn't wear a sunscreen because 'it's for pussies. Hope you enjoy your sunburn, dude. Reply ...

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Tagged: FAIL , askreddit , ridiculous , dumb , Reddit , stupid

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Twitter Thread: Romance Erupts Between Café Coworkers

Oh yes, those were the days when anyone could go and sit in a café, people watch, maybe tweet out a romantic thread like this one here, or even take a dabble in the art of romance themselves. This throwback Twitter thread takes a look at a couple café coworkers confessing their true feelings for one another. Pretty sweet and wholesome stuff.

1.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton I'm the only one in this café and the girl employee just told the guy employee she has a crush on him will update 7:02 PM 17 Dec 16 from Brooklyn, NY 2,152 RETWEETS 5,184 LIKES

2.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton He asked how long and she said six 1d months GIRL MAKE YOUR MOVE 13 175 979 Jerry @notjerryclayton he said he needs to go to the back and think about what to say 1d 17 177 776

3.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton She's just stewing and I want more coffee but I dunno I feel for her 1d 17 157 822 Jerry @notjerryclayton Acquired refill, the guy is nowhere to be found 1d 13 153 V 736

4.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton 1d HE JUST CAME FROM THE BACK AND KISSED HER HOLY SHIT 6 5 선구 237 V 1,763 Jerry @notjerryclayton "I didn't want to admit it to myself but I've always had a thing for you" THIS IS NOT HAPPENING 1d V 1,271 86L t구

5.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton They just asked me if it was okay if they left for a few minutes OF COURSE ITS OKAY 1d 6 3 17 155 1,099 Jerry @notjerryclayton They just came back holding hands and smiling this is so beautiful 1d 6 2 17 192 1,385

6.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton They keep telling each other how happy they are in between sips of cappuccino and I'm still in disbelief 1d 17 141 V 832 Jerry @notjerryclayton They just kissed again but tried to do it discreetly so I wouldn't see these two are perfect two are perfect 1d 6 2 17 131 860

7.

Text - Jerry @notjerryclayton The girl brought me a free muffin for "dealing with them" MA'AM IT WAS AN 1d HONOR 17 156 1.434 Jerry @notjerryclayton I'm leaving now because they're closing but tonight has firmly renewed my faith in humanity LOVE IS OUT THERE, BE LIKE CAFÉ GIRL AND FIND 1d IT

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Tagged: aww , twitter , romance , relationships , social media , love

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2020/10/03