Pettiest Things Adults Did To Kids and more...

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the pettiest things that adults did to kids. You better not get any dang ideas. And if you do just remember that there will be a spiteful little cretin full of devilish persuasion ready to act on your antics.

1.

Text - bgzkinsella • 3h 3 1 Award In cub scouts, we were doing the pinewood derby. I worked really hard on my car, (my dad helped, of course). I had already won the first 3 rounds, and before the final round, one of the dads of the of the other kids picked up my car to hand it to me. It "slipped" out of his hand, and broke the wheels when it hit the floor. I'm convinced it was not an accident, and he was sabotaging my car so his kid would win. This was over 30 years ago, and l'm still salty abou

2.

Text - DingDongDutchie • 3h My swimming teacher removed my inflatable armbands while swimming in a deep part of the pool because I was not paying enough attention out of excitement. Reply 581 ...

3.

Text - MikeErk67 • 3h We were almost out of ice cream, I made myself the last bowl. I came into the living room to eat it and my dad took it and ate it all because I didn't offer him any. I was about 8. I'm 41 and I still hide while eating bowls of ice cream. Reply 375 ...

4.

Text - Greenfireflygirl • 2h My grade 2 science teacher taught us that there is no food we eat that doesn't come from plants. He gave the example of a cow, it eats grass, so it comes from plants. He offered 5 dollars to any one who could find anything that people eat that didn't come from plants and said no one had ever claimed it. We all went home and thought about it. Kids were saying things like marshmallows, ice cream, candy... I put my hand up and answered "salt." He was quiet for a moment

5.

Text - EmilyAndCat • 3h Grounded me for leaving a hanger on the dryer Then extended it for reading while grounded Then further for sleeping when told I can't read. Shit still pisses me off years later.. Reply 969

6.

Text - ex-girlscout • 3h I was in middle school at a friend's sleepover. Her parents were very strict, her and her siblings got pulled out of public school to go to a Catholic school (were homeschooled in high school), and they scared the hell out of me. Anyway, it was probably like 11pm at this sleepover, and her mom hesitantly let us watch the Disney movie Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. I laughed at a part, and even though her parents were awake, they came into the living room to scold me fo

7.

Text - ashlie_ren 3h 3 1 Award When I was in like 5th grade I didn't put a book cover on my math book. It required cutting up a paper bag something similar (we couldn't really afford the fancy ones) and I just never did it. So my math teacher took away my math book, so I couldn't do homework or follow along in class. Like WTF, who does that to a kid. When my mom found out she went down to the school and RAISED HELL about interfering with my right to an education or something. The school district

8.

Text - themzy34 • 3h My family had all our belongings stolen while at the beach when I was young. Inside that stuff was my favorite cap, my only cap. I remember I loved that hat and wore it everyday everywhere. At that age I was at that held big time sentimental value. | This woman who was with us at th time started to antagonize me and make fun of me about how upset I was. I was like 6 or 7, because my parents lost more valuable things like a digital camera. Which as an adult I can understand,

9.

Text - smt503 • 3h When I was like nine or ten, I was rollerblading home from my mom's work, right? And I'm heading down 4th Street, and I find something like 16 dollars on the ground--a ten, a five, and single--just laying there on the sidewalk next to some outdoor seating at a cafe. Being the obnoxiously nice kid that I was, I pick it up and kind up look around, wondering if anybody lost their money. That's when the lady in the weird sweater vest comes around the corner. We make eye contact an

10.

Text - ManySweaty • 3h 30+ year old man made it a point to walk up to me and call me by a racial slur when I was about 5-8 years old in front of the crosswalk lady. Nobody said shit in response. Reply 418 ...

11.

Text - x3Nekox3 3h Back when i was 17, i moved to NYC with a friend for three month, to work as an intern. That was my first time living in a dorm full of strangers in a foreign country where i knew the language haphazardly(just started really using what i learned at school) . The day I got there, i was sitting in the kitchen with my friend, just joking and our usual gimmicks. Some tennants show up and were introduced to me. A couple from detroit where also there. I noticed the boyfriend being d

12.

Text - phonz1851 • 3h This was when I was a teenager but for my eagle scout project, you had to have a proposal and get it through several levels of clearance. My proposal was very good. I was the only person in years to get through the initial level of clearance without having to revise it. Unfortunately at the district level, there was a stick in the mud who believed that he wasn't doing his job unless he rejected every proposal at least once. He rejected mine after an hour and a half of argui

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Text - myops_rock • 3h I had a teacher who despised me and belittled me at every turn. He was a petty tyrant. Years later he was arrested for molesting students. T enjoyed reading about it. Reply 115 ...

14.

Text - AliCracker • 3h About 8 years old over at a friends house (family was pretty trashy) and friend and I were eating the candy we'd bought and the mom flat out said to me 'you might be skinny now but someday it's going to catch up to you and you'll be super fat just like me' That stuck with me forever Reply 35 ...

15.

Text - mangoisdope • 3h My father would remover my bedroom door whenever I forgot to turn of the lights in the morning. I needed to earn it back every time. Reply 1 81 ...

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Text - DylonNotNylon • 3h 3 1 Award A teacher in my Catholic grade school was also the mother of one of my classmates. He was kind of a bully, so when I had a birthday party I didn't invite him. She confronted me about it and would go out of her way to make school miserable for me. When my parents brought it up to the administration she denied it. Now, I wasn't actually catholic, just went there because it was a nice school.. so as an actual member of the parish she was believed over me. I ended

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Text - bestbelievelife • 3h My father in-law waited until both of my parents passed away to become a dick. Now he talks bad about me to people and smiles in my face. Only reason I know about it, is because my niece and nephew pulled me to the side and let me know. I hope & pray for my sake that he never needs to move in with us when he gets older, cause that shit ain't happening. But, is that petty of me ? Reply 152 ...

18.

Text - Bonanza86 • 2h I used to get haircuts at the military barber shop when I was younger every two weeks. I was attended by a barber I had never had before, and I told him how I wanted my cut: low, with fades on each side, and a part on the left side of my head. This barber put the part near the middle of my head, and when I told him that wasn't how I wanted it, he told me verbatim, "That's too bad." I still had to pay him for my haircut, too. I never got a part in my head again, 23 years and

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Text - Orion465 • 3h My swimming teacher promised me a candy bar if I jumped off the board when I couldn't swim and when I did they said they forgot ,but I saw them eating one in the lounge. I was 5 and I was betrayed. Reply 186

20.

Text - Crunchymemes_v1 • 3h Not being allowed to have any other food during cookouts other than a lukewarm grilled hotdog, or an overdone hamburger. Because apparently everything else is "grownup food". Geez, l'm glad l'm an adult now for small reasons like that Reply 138 ...

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Tagged: kids , askreddit , parenting , ridiculous , adults , Reddit , children

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Teacher Given Pink Slip, Chooses Least Qualified Students for School Project

School drama can be strange. While it's probably not advisable to use the mediocre work of students to get back at faculty, this teacher played it cool in an unfair situation. That said, teachers often totally misjudge their students, like these students in this social experiment. In a twist on teacher/student expectations, here's a student who won an art contest to spite their rude teacher.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance · Posted by u/itsthebman12 19 hours ago O 5 4 3 3 4 Have the students build it... oc M I am a Technology Education teacher who always went above and beyond for my school, students, and administrators. I spent countless hours designing and building things for the school; I.e. signs, murals, wall art, games, etc. I really didn't mind because I enjoy the design challenges that go along with these builds. That was until I received a pink slip. For those of you who are no

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Text - I had a meeting with my assistant superintendent who basically told me that she appreciated all of my hard work but didn't see much value in my program and with budget cuts coming down the pike I would most likely be losing my job. Now it needs to be mentioned that Tech Ed is not like the traditional shop classes of the 70s where students would build bird houses and ash trays. My curriculum focused primarily on STEM with heavily involved hands-on applications. I related otherwise dry mate

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Text - The week following the meeting my principal asked me if I was interested in building some new games for the cafeteria that students could play when they finished eating. Easy table games like mini knock hockey, checker boards, etc. to alleviate student from getting out of control. I explained that I could not complete the project and that was that. Until...the assistant superintendent caught me in the hallway and told me, “just have the students build it". So that is exactly what I did. I

4.

Text - I thanked the students and asked the assistant superintendent to come on down to my lab because the student projects were done and they were excited to show them off. In she walks and upon seeing the projects looks me dead in the eye. She now has a decision to make, what the hell happened or 2-tell the students to their faces what a great job they did. She opted for choice 2, going on and on about how great everything looks and how proud she was of the students while I had the biggest smi

5.

Text - I resigned from that school and took a job that paid $12,000 more at a place where I was valued. They ended up keeping the position and begged me to stay on board. I realized resigning was my best option because I could get an early jump on all of the new openings as opposed to being let go at the end of summer which would leave me with the worst schools that could not find a teacher.

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Tagged: school , fired , students , teacher , lol , project , story , quitting

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Plumber Accidentally Spawns Lovecraftian Nightmare

Man, just picturing the look of pure terror on whoever saw this Lovecraftian nightmare of a snake in action is enough to get the laughs rolling. They must've been thoroughly convinced that the roadside motel was one of those roadside motels right out of a spooky horror show. Just imagine if some poor soul had been sitting on that toilet. Yikes.

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Text - Malgayne 19h When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there. At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn. After a few tries, he decided he needed

2.

Text - By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and figure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining - you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the room. Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl and it's a sho

3.

Text - While they're discussing this, the room phone rings. The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, they manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled i

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Tagged: crazy , scary , surprising , FAIL , plumbing , ridiculous , funny

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Entitled Parent Demands Public Artist Make Art for Them

The world has its unfair share of entitled people with demanding boldness. In this case it's a parent who hit up an artist who makes art for the public, just so they could demand special treatment for their kid. It's unclear what kind of reasoning leads someone down the path of thinking this is a normal request, but wow.

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Text - Hey can you put a picture out in front of the Disney resort somewhere on August 7? I'll text you and let you now what time will work. THX Aw l'm glad you like them but I prefer folks find them organically. When I paint them is completely dependent on my work schedule. If you'd like to get two mailed to you, one to keep and one to hide for someone else to find, you can donate to one of the preferred charities listed in my featured story "Get Your Own!" Thank you so much for reaching out an

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Text - I'm not gonna pay for it, I just want my kid to find it, it will be organic l just need to make sure you put it out sometime when we will be there and can run down and grab it. Unfortunately, that defeats the purpose of the project, which is providing random art for unsuspecting individuals to find. I do place clues as soon as the pictures are claimed. You can also donate to one of the preferred charities and send me a receipt, and I'll mail you two and cover the cost of shipping and all.

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Text - You suck. And why would I donate to a black charity? All lives matter. Aaaaaand that's the end of that. Have a nice day. Seen

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Tagged: public , work , artist , demanding , parenting , ridiculous , entitled , stupid , choosing beggar

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Tumblr User Calls Out People's Social Skills, Gets Point Proven Instantly

This quick and entertaining and temporarily extremely confusing Tumblr post showcases the potential implications of younger generations not being able to communicate clearly, because they spend all their time online. We can't tell if they were intentionally spewing nonsense with that one paragraph, or genuinely being the very thing they were condemning. Hard to tell.

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Text - beesmygod S ztacey Follow AAAAAAAA raptorific Follow I'm genuinely worrying about people whose main source of social development comes like 100% from these incredibly insular and entirely unregulated internet spaces. Like this isn't even a “technology is bad and kids these days don't learn how to talk to one another" post, it's a “basic conflict resolution skills and the practical realities of interacting with human beings are the sort of things you probably shouldn’t learn in an unstruct

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Text - and rude awakening when you finally do have to apply those skills outside the tiny toxic community you cultivated them in and find that they don't transfer well to classroom discussions or dates or job interviews or having a roommate" acaipsychelife Follow yeah i admit this is kinda me... this is one of the themes of us as a society transitioning from the age of pisces to the age of aquarius, Aquarius is very social but could also be the awkward loner, the outcast, the pariah, the maveric

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Text - maybe this is a theme for people with personal planets in the 12th house? maybe the 11th house plays into it cuz that rules the internet. children are being held back from social development because schools are now on Zoom meetings, they'll miss critical markers in learning how to act during whatever age they currently are. i hope schools reopen this upcoming school year, we cannot do this to children! anyone feel free to reblog with your thoughts.

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Text - raptorific Follow See this is a great example of the sort of thing I'm talking about. Clearly, in your social space, all of this is considered a pretty normal and appropriate thing to say to a complete stranger, and not something that reasonably makes everyone who hears it go home and say “papa, today I met someone who made no sense at all and seemed to relish in it" 32,366 notes

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Tagged: tumblr , socially awkward , tumblr memes , funny tumblr posts , internet meme , funny tumblr , online , social media

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Man Trolls Gift Card Scammer For Hours

You did a beautiful thing, my dude. Keep up the good work. Nothing melts our hearts like seeing a scammer get their comeuppance.

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Text - 4:44 PM Hello how are you doing? Hey Aunt Christine l'm doing well thank you. How is everyone doing there? You can now call each other and see information like Active Status and when you've read messages. Doing wonderfully great. Hope everything is going on fine with you? Yep can't complain. I'm stationed in San Diego. My wife and kids are back in Va

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Text - Okay. Good to hear. Ahh ok. heeere we go. Can you help me get something from the store Not sure I understand what you mean What do I mean? How can I help Okay. I want a gift card from the store. Ok why not drive down to the grocery store and get one

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Text - Out of stock.walmart or Walgreen. Can you help me get one? Gift card to where? To me Right but a gift card for what store? From Wal-Mart or Walgreen or CVS

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Text - Have you ever purchased anything online before? Why do you ask? I could walk you through getting one online Can't do that, and lI'm currently out of money Oh is everything ok?

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Text - Yes, everything is fine Ok what do you need from me? If you can help get one Gift card. Sure want me to give you a call on the phone? No. Cell phone is off untill I get it fixed at at&t I'm getting it next week. Ok so how would I get you the card?

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Text - In the store. When you get it, just tell me on here And then what? Tell me when you get one Are you going to get it now? Yea how much? What bout $100? Who's the gift card for?

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Text - Me lol Ok and then l'll mail it to your house? Tell me, before you mail it ok Ok Send me your mailing address You getting it right now? Yes

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Text - When you do get it let me know Ok brb Ok How are things with Uncle Mike?

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Text - Ok got it What's your address? Oh Send a picture of it Walmart Gift Card

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Text - Okay. Take the card out and scratch the back Ok let me get something to scratch it with. Did Uncle Mike end up selling his boat? Ok.. no Oh he didn't sell it? Can you ask him if he would be willing to take $4,500 for it? Okay Have you scratch the back card Yes

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Text - Send a picture of it too Ok 1 sec Ok Oh crap. Phone died. Can you give me a second while I charge my phone? Okay be fast bout it That's a bit rude Aunt Christine My bad

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Text - Did Uncle Mike recover from his sexual reassignment surgery? I know he was worried Almost charged Yes he did, he was really worried. 4452 1657567387 Wow that came out really blurry

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Text - Thats not clear Want me to mail it now? You didn't get it all scratched Well if it's scratched you can't use it silly goose Just get all scratched and send a full pics of it ??? Ok I'm trying Ok

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Text - My hand is shaking real bad from the Parkinson's Oh sorry bout that. Yea got it from watching too many back to the future movies Lol I just called the neighbor to come over and take the picture for me.

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Text - Okay. Have you scratch all of it Yea You can try to take a picture of it again Yea I just said the neighbor is coming over and gonna take a picture for me. I'm glad you contacted me though and not anyone else. There are a lot of scammers out there. Wouldn't want anyone to take advantage of my precious angel Ok Ok

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Text - Gonna be about 5 minutes. She is putting on her shoes So what else is new? Ok Ok my friends here He has a working phone but is not tech savvy. Can you walk him through it? Are you still there Aunt Christine? Yes I'm here Have you gotten thr picture of it

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Text - He has to get the picture developed so he can mail it to you Send it me on here Here picture of it, send it on here He has to develop the film silly Ok. Mind if we catch up while we wait? Feel like it's been ages since we last spoke! You why not try and snap again with your phone let see if it will be ok

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Text - Ok one second. I just feel like I never get to talk to you. Ok lol How are things what's new in your life? Good . I'm watching the capital 4th very moving Not sure I know what that is. What channel? most of all channels shows it O awesome

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Text - Neighbor just called. He's on the way back with the photos Snap it like this and send to me with your phone Like what Like thie picture I just sent to you. I didn't receive anything Send it to me again Can I send you a picture of John riding his daddy's motorcycle to see if my pictures are going through?

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Text - Awesome Yea hasn't he grown up?! I said you try sending picture of the card let's see huh Seems like just yesterday he was ripping off cash from ATM's and bringing estranged Austrian men home

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Tagged: FAIL , conversation , ridiculous , texting , funny , trolling , troll , funny fails , scam , scammer

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Finance Officer Cuts Budget, Employees Donate It All to Food Bank

Chad decided to make all the employees situation inconvenient in order to try and save some money, but he ended up costing more money for the company in the end. The employees spoke their mind through charity. For another weird budget story, here's a Karen who used up her entire budget on ugly PowerPoints.

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Text - Posted by u/alxwak 1 day ago * O 11 2710 34 8 Change our expenditure accounts? The food bank will have a feast! oc L This happened about 10 years ago, when I worked for a company doing community nursing. We were provided with company cars and a prepaid card for expenditure (fuel and food). The card had a limit of 400 euros per week, the card resetting to the 400 limit every Monday morning. Despite the 400 euros limit, the usual amount any of us spent each week was around 150 to 200 euros,

2.

Text - Enter Chad. He was the the financial officer and had some pretty "unique" ideas about changing the finances of the company. One of the ideas he instituted was a change to our prepaid cards. He dropped the limit to 50 euros a day, with the card resetting every day. As you can understand, this was a problem, especially if you consider that a full tank costed 55 euros minimum. If you used the card for fuel, then the rest was paid out of pocket. We couldn't be reimbursed for the money, becaus

3.

Text - Initially, most coworkers were spending 30 euros on fuel and refueled two or three times a week. But not me. While my malicious compliance tendencies were natural, during my Navy service were honed to perfection by a couple of Master Chiefs. So, enter Malicious Compliance. I decided to spent each day 20 euros for fuel (somedays less), pay for my own coffee out of pocket and spend the rest at lunch. I used to patron a grill and bbq place that had a catering side. They also volunteered for

4.

Text - I started rising at least 90 euros a week for the food bank. I hit the limit every day, costing the company 250 euros a week (from 150). Chad was furious. He was trying to save money and I was costing him more. He asked me to explain my expenses. Food and fuel. He asked for receipts. I provided them (the receipt said food, nothing else). He finally said I should eat cheaper. I told him the company couldn't force not to eat whatever I wanted. After that meeting, a couple of coworkers saw m

5.

Text - The Aftermath: This went on for two months. Chad was livid, because now he was loosing even more money. The solution came unexpectedly. Unbeknownst to all of us, the owner the company was a major contributor to the food bank. He knew about the restaurant helping out and had seen the richer buffets. He asked the owner of the restaurant about and he said a few nurses had started coming, raising the tab (at that point 600 euros minimum). The owner put two and two together.

6.

Text - I was called in for a meeting with the owner. I was anxious, because I didn't know what it was about. When I got there, Chad was there also. During the meeting, Chad explained how he was losing money, but he couldn't do anything about it. I explained what our grievance was and how we took advantage of it. Chad replied we shouldn't game the system for something SO stupid as a food bank. The owner stopped the meeting right there. He reinstated the old system for expenditure. He reprimanded

7.

Text - The final result was getting our old system back (which we didn't abuse), a weekly donation to the food bank and a major Easter Sunday BBQ for the food bank sponsored by the company. Chad lasted only another three months, because his penny saving ways dropped the quality of care we could provide. I stayed with the company until it was sold to new owners who were more like Chad. But that's a story for another subreddit.

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Tagged: wholesome , food bank , job , work , lol , story , money , budget

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Tinder Pickup Lines That Had Zero Shame

We can always count on Tinder for the cheesy pickup lines, the spicy wordplay, and the bold and unfiltered banter. It's a place where the world's hopeless romantics and spicy silvertongues collide to exchange pleasantries, or get in genuine verbal squabbles. Sometimes though, all the odds are defied, and people somehow end up walking away from the "successfully paired right swipe" with an actual date set up.

1.

Text - It is a guarantee that I will analyze every situation and conversation and correct you when you are wrong factually, morally & otherwise You will make errors and I will notify you. If you find that bothersome I understand Im just doing my do diligence for who I am prepare you mentally Кay Due* diligence Sent pe a message Send GIF

2.

Text - Yesterday, 09:13 Thanks Today, 08:52 When did you get in to pottery? 8 years ago That's awesome how long have you had a studio 2 years How has it been during the shut down?

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Text - Canceled for some of it Back open now? Yes That's good :) so what's your favorite thing to make? Mugs. Today, 21:49 Do they hold coffee well? Well yeah Excellent, because I definitely need some after this conversation E Stitch It!

4.

Text - Hmm that's debatable Tue, Sep 24 10:56PM Alright, what do you think is good? Thu, Sep 26 12:57AM Maybe 2-3 days? Sat, Sep 28 1:27PM Perhaps 4-6 days? Wed, Oct 2 4:34AM It's gotta be 7-10 days.

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Text - Which I highly disagree with. And if that's what you find to be appropriate, this isn't going to work out. Wed, Nov 27 11:30PM 9 weeks, wow. Thats nuts! Fri, Feb 14 3:46PM Almost 5 months. That's like a deployment. Thu, Sep 24 4:40AM A whole year. That's an awful long time to reply. And to think that 24 hours was debatable. I'm beginning to think you were never going to respond at all.

6.

Text - Thursday 6:34 AM Hey love Thursday 8:55 AM Нeyo Thursday 9:34 AM Sorry this is upfront but my electric bill is due today could You please help me out if not it's fine maybe we can stilll chat Today 3:02 AM I got my own bills. Grow up lol Sent

7.

Product - A Sports * Sent it's in the game ilove you E.

8.

Text - ll 3 07:45 Wen YOU MATCHED WITH WEN ON 2020-03-13. Now we just need to establish the where Sent Type a message.. Send

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Text - ull Verizon 7:43 PM 10% Makenna YOU MATCHED WITH MAKENNA ON 10/9/20 I'm not gonna lie l'm not a fan of your bio bro now PLAYING: Who asked (Feat: Nobody) II > 2:18 / 3:56 Sent

10.

Text - Okay lol are you italian Yes yes I am Today, 6:47 PM I can speak italian Show me lol mario luigi grazie pasta gelato Sent Blocked Send a message Send

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Text - E Yesterday Hey Today Hello there do like pineapple on pizza? Absolutely not. Those 2 do not belong together I am hoping that you dont like it either I DO НАНА P Report Now I know why you right swiped on me You have no taste Delivered

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Text - ll GCI ? 10:08 AM 177% Jen YOU MATCHED WITH JEN ON 4/10/20 hi jen i'm ben Friday 11:12 AM hi ben i'm jen Yesterday 12:14 PM nice to meet you jen. do you wanna be my fren? Sent Yesterday 6:00 PM i'd love to be your fren ben. you seem like a solid ten

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Text - Izzy CanI get bizzy with izzy Today 6:20 pm Busy* Can I get busy with iusy Your not good with spelling You're* Sent Type a message . Send GIF Yeah I'm [ ] {} # % + ED

14.

Text - YOU MATCHED WITH ON 2/28/19 How much does a polar bear weigh? Yesterday 9:55 AM Enough to break the ice You'd think that but no, polar bears live on ice, that'd be pretty fucking dumb if they fell through it all the time.

15.

Text - Lauren Yesterday How's your evening? It's a must have on my checklist to have a job a house and a car and it's a must that you be 6ft + P Report Today Hello. I meet all of those requirements. It's a must on my checklist that you have 9 months of cash reserves in case of an emergency, a debt/income ratio of less than 30%, and put at least 20% of your income into tax advantaged retirement account. I also require C-cups or bigger.

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Text - You know, the more Y's somebody has in their "heyy", the more interested they are in you With that being said, heyyyy Sent May 31, 2016, 8:38 PM Не

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Text - mils @camiler_h can u imagine how packed trails would be if everyone on tinder who said they liked hiking actually did it

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Text - What's your major? Today 7:49 PM How bout a more unique question. Which vegetable gives you the most anxiety Today 8:26 PM Kiwis! Bad experience w one as a kid That's a fucking fruit Sent

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Text - DU MATCHEDE MED I 1 D. 30/12/2018 Are you a bot or real? You're almost too pretty Sendt I ノ Would a bot send you that ?

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Text - Katie Today 09:04 What convinced you to swipe right, Katie? Today 09:50 Desperation You?

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Tagged: pickup lines , funny tinder , FAIL , tinder , apps , relationships , ridiculous , dating , dating fails

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Tumblr Thread: Humans Will Pack Bond With Anything

This fun Tumblr thread escalates quickly after a few folks share their hilarious experiences with befriending some of the hard working, earnest Roombas of the world. It considers what it'd look like if there were a knife-wielding Roomba on board a human starship, and all the kinds of chaos that would inevitably ensue. For some more gold from Tumblr check out this Tumblr thread about how humans are weird, durable space orcs.

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Text - voidspacer My roomba is scared of thunderstorms I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off-no power surges or anything, just thunder-and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap systlin Humans will pack bond with anything. Source: voidspacer

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Text - A you-only-liberate-once my host mom in Japan referred to her Roomba as "Roomba-san" and when it would get stuck she would just look over it and softly say “ganbatte, Roomba- san.ganbatte" as it made distressed beeping noises at her whoopsrobots "Ganbatte: Cheer up, Be courageous, Do your best" Source: you-only-liberate-once 151,556 notes

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Text - plsdonttakemyadvice Man human imprinting is crazy. My friend's roomba zoomed by me and I got this intense urge to reach down and pat it. Like it's just a machine? But it's a good boy? It spends all day cleaning and sleeping and exploring the house and never complains and it's just so good little robot? Pet robot?? Pet the robot????? Why am I like this??? polysymphonic When I bought my roomba the lady at the store told me that if it breaks within warranty and I send it back to the manufact

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Text - sepulchritude on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer" species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship it doesn't have any special intelligence. it's just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don't have knives. it's just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talkin

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Text - "it doesn't stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool – someone write that down." "but then what is its purpose?" "I don't know," the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. "it just seemed cool" aethersea this is the dumbest idea l've ever heard but I thought about it for five seconds and realized that if I were, say, a random communications officer onboard this ship and someone taped a knife to a roomba it wou

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Text - or a truly terrible knock-knock joke every time he managed to nick someone. somethingninga Omg so the ting I typed up might actually happen this is gold petralemaitre I am suddenly astonished that Stabby isn't Farscape canon. 1812 was weird enough. A dearthoughthenightisgone Tre (with Stabby's little charging dock would start accruing cuddly toys and commemorative holo-vids of Stabby's greatest stabs. Its insignia would start off at a fairly low rank, but soon, without anyone every discus

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Text - jumpingjacktrash why am i proud of stabby this is irrational roachpatrol like if you're proud of stabby reblog to tape another knife on him

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Text - "Yup. Don't leave your humans unsupervised." "I'l uh, take that under advisement." "Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get... creative. Don't even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby. Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the hum

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Woman's Friend Accuses Her Of Stealing Baby Name

Um, so it's not like someone is able to have ownership over a name. Especially considering the context of this situation, and the fact that the woman's friend hasn't even had her next baby yet, and is unsure if that baby's going to be a girl or not. But no, instead she insists on making a whole drama out of something that seems like it never should've been a drama in the first place.

For some more juicy baby name drama check out this story about a woman wanting to name her baby "Alibi." Yikes.

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Text - AITA for "stealing" a baby name? Not the A-hole So, my best friend is about 5 months pregnant. When she first found out we had fun brainstorming names together for both boys and girls. When she found out she was having a boy we were thrilled and she settled on the name Josh. I'm not going to lie, as soon as we knew it was a boy all the other name options kind of evaporated from my head... maybe that makes me a shitty friend but it's the truth. Then, last month I found out l'm pregnant as

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Text - When I told my friend she was extremely upset because Ada was the girl name they wanted to use (again, I frankly forgot, it was months ago and we had talked about several other girl names that she wanted). Now she won't speak to me because she's convinced her next baby will be a girl and they're already planning on calling her Ada, so l'm "stealing" their name. I understand that it's hurtful that I forgot their hypothetical girl name choice, but does that really make me TA here?

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Text - GirlMcGirlface • 1d • Partassipant [1] 1 Award NTA She's mad at you for a ridiculous reason. My Best friend of 20 years got mad at me when I named my daughter. She wasn't even pregnant or planning on kids at the time, and my name only rhymed with the name she wanted to call her hypothetical baby. She went on to have 3 boys. If l'd caved in to her ridiculousness and changed the name, it would have been for nothing. Keep the name Ada, you probably won't even be friends with this person in f

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Text - TopaztheBigBoss • 1d • Certified Proctologist [21] NTA. You said it is a family name on both your and your husband's side. Also, people don't "call" names for their kids. What if you got a baby book and read off all the names to your friend. Does that mean she can't use one of them? Reply 220 ...

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Text - Main_Pick_4174 • 1d NTA! Honestly, how many times were there 3 girls named Katherine (or some variation of that name), Hannah, Brittany, or Kelly growing up? On top of that, the earliest she will be able to have another kid is over a year away assuming she gets pregnant right away AND it is a girl. She has PLENTY of time to find a new favorite name or still use Ada. She is just being extra. Reply 1 115 ...

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Text - GrymDraig • 1d • Pooperintendant [53] NTA. You can't "steal" a name. It's not something one person gets exclusive rights to. You said yourself it is a family name on both sides of your family, so it clearly has meaning to you. This person is being unreasonable. Reply 1 122 ...

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Text - bitchy_badger • 1d • Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] NTA- no one owns a name. You have your own reasons for wanting this name. She doesn't even know if she will ever have a girl, are you supposed to not use it because maybe one day 3 years from now she will want it. Reply 1 22 ...

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Text - togocann49 • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA -your friend can still use the name. And also, your friend may not have another child, let alone a girl Reply 40 ...

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Text - The_Iron_Quill • 1d NTA based on what's written here. The only way that you'd be an (unintentional) AH is if she'd specifically told you that she planned on using the name Ada, and you didn't talk to her before announcing it. (I don't mean just "I love the name Ada", I mean literally "I'm going to name my next baby Ada".) To be clear, you're not obligated to let her have dibs on the name. You still have just as much claim to the name. But if she'd told you that she'd picked that name and

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Text - wadingin3 • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [14] NTA but give her time and space to work it out. I can't speak for you or your friend, but pregnancy hormones really messed with my internal emotional regulation gauge. It was even worse with my first because I ascribed emotional importance to SO many things which, in retrospect, were not important. Once I had actually given birth (and even more so with subsequent kids) I had a much better grasp of what was worth getting upset over and what wasn't.

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Text - bust_a_moose • 1d • Partassipant [4] NTA. It's pretty clear your friend is being ridiculous Reply ...

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Text - AmazingAd2765 • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA She doesn't have exclusive rights to a name because she considered it before learning the gender of her baby. Reply ...

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Text - newsunicorn • 1d NTA I have a close group of friends and 3 of them have Jacobs. One was named because my friend liked the name, the second was named after my friend's brother. Not sure about the third. Either way, no one cared. Reply ...

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Text - Narshalla • 20h NTA. The only way to win this game is to not play at all. Name your kids what you want to name them. Reply ...

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Text - StargazerNataku • 20h NTA. For starters, you are having a daughter. She may never. But more importantly, why on earth does it matter if the kids have the same name? My husband and I have chosen a name for a future son that means a lot to us (family name). Two of our best friends already have a son with that name. It is not the end of the world. I'm not angry they used it and they're not upset we plan to. Two different families, two different children. Who cares? Reply 1 3 ...

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Text - Joxey • 21h NTA - currently about to give birth (seriously my baby needs to come out already), and my husband and I were brainstorming name. At first he wanted to name the baby after himself, I vetoed that one real quick. And after some brainstorming, it turned out that the : names we chose were already being used by friends' baby or his nephew. I told him tough luck but sorry I am not going to name my baby some ridiculous name I don't really like because I need to tip toe around everyone

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Text - confusedhelpme22 • 19h • Partassipant [2] NTA she could have all boys. People have the right to name their kids whatever they want! Also, my husband and I are naming out next baby Ada Grace if it's a girl. Reply Vote ...

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Text - stink3rbelle • 22h • The Rear Admiral NAH. You say you don't remember the other names, which is believable enough. But baby names are a big deal to people, and it's something people invest a lot of time and care in. You definitely talked about the name "Ada" with this friend when you brainstormed baby names with her. I think it was kind of shoddy not to mention that it was a name you'd consider for your own kids, and that it was a family name for your and your husband's families. That goe

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Text - Square-Concept • 1d NTA. You mentioned it because you liked it. My mom "stole" my name from her sister, who was newly pregnant. They got over it. Reply Vote ...

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Text - LibraWoman1 • 1d NTA. For one thing she may never have a daughter. For another if you were brainstorming with your friend because it's a family name for you it's probably one that you suggested. Great she may have said she liked it but it's a family name for you ...end of story Reply Vote ...

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Text - pattystangerknowsit • 1d NTA and this woman needs to get over herself. Phulesse... she crazy Reply Vote ...

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Text - Marzipan_civil • 1d • Partassipant [2] NTA - she's not calling her baby boy by the name you chose, she might never have a girl. %3D Reply Vote ...

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Text - neutralgood079•22h • Partassipant [1] NTA you chose from a list and you like the name. She is not having a girl anytime soon so her argument makes zero sense. Unless the name has some special family ties (still thinking of that AH girl that stole the irish family name) NTA Reply Vote ...

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Text - proteamom • 22h NTA. I had a "friend" behind my back tell everyone I was stealing her girl name "Luna"... she wasn't even pregnant yet and when she did get pregnant it was a boy. I ended up on a different name... but still laugh at how ridiculous she was about it. Reply 1 Vote ...

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Text - BBQPringles420 • 21h NTA. my sister has a boy and a girl. she had names she liked but never used. i took one of the names she liked an added it to my name list because she said she "doesn't want more children" i'm not even pregnant and she's angry at me about it but i told her "if you're not gonna use it, i will. it's a nice name" and that was that. she didn't say anything else because she knew i was right Reply Vote ...

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Text - Smiley-Canadian • 21h NTA. Your friend is being ridiculous. Choose the original name you had planned. Reply Vote ...

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Text - StaceysMomPlus2more • 20h NTA... but THIS is why I didn't tell people what I was naming either of my girls whileI was pregnant. These are petty, useless arguments. Reply Vote ...

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Text - madkins007 • 19h NTA. What's the deal with calling dibs on a name? Are they afraid that the kids are going to grow up together and everyone will be confused? It's a little different in a family, or if the name is a really unusual and super cool one (my kids have had a long running mock battle over the fabulous name of Klontark) Reply Vote ...

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Text - BronwynLane • 17h NTA. This is HS level petty bullshit. It feels like two friends crushing on the same person, that person showing interest in one of them & the other acting like their friend stole them away or something. You both like it, one actually gets it. You can't claim a name unless you've already named a fetus or a human (or I suppose if it has a big personal meaning.) Like lol, time to be adults now. & by the time she has a girl (if she has a girl) her entire naming preferences

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Text - Nannamuss • 16h • Partassipant [2] NTA - Do you know how many people are called "Martin" in my country? Or Casper? I had 4 named Casper in my class. Did it bother anyone? No. I don't get this new fad about needing your child's name to be unique or special. It's a name! and lots of people have the same names. Your friend needs to get over herself and stop calling dips on stuff. What if it was a name you ALWAYS had wanted your daughter to be named, but she called "dips" before she knew this

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Text - KathAIMyPal • 15h NTA. This reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte's friend "stole" her baby name...and Charlotte wasn't even married or pregnant yet. Does your friend think that no one else will ever use the name Ada? Guaranteed that there will be at least 1/2 dozen Josh's in his class! Just because she feels that she will have a girl next doesn't mean she's going to...and even if she did her and her husband could change their minds about names. Name your child what y

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Text - switchbladeeatworld • 13h NTA, you can't win here because any name could be on her list. Anecdotally, my friend is mad at me for my cats name because it is her hypothetical future daughter's name... and I didn't even name my cat because I adopted her as an adult so go figure, names be a touchy subject. Reply Vote ...

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Tagged: aita , baby , FAIL , parenting , ridiculous , Reddit , funny

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Electrician Takes Technical Revenge On Nasty IT Manager

It doesn't get much more technical than this. This is the glorious story of an electrician using McGuyver-like work to undo a literal rule breaking tool. Pretty dang neat stuff.

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Text - r/ProRevenge - Posted by u/OlderSparky 4 hours ago A Sysadmin pissed me off. I just wanted to get him fired. ..a Sparkies Tale. Over the years, my job has been pretty diverse. I enjoy all| the Master Electrician and Instrumentation work, but building and maintaining networks has been a joy as well. There are so many pretty blinking lights. All the testing and commissioning tools are fun to play with as well. There are also lasers. One thing that never gets old is seeing people's faces (wh

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Text - "Tom" was a Junior Gov't System Administrator, working at a Regional IT Dept. When the position of IT Manager became available at a 2000 student Gov't High School, Tom was encouraged (finessed/manipulated/conned ?) to apply. See, Tom was a cockhead. As a wanker of the first order, in the 4 months that he'd been there after transferring in, Tom had pissed off the whole Gov't IT team. You know that person who has to comment on everything, thinks they know everything, thinks they are always

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Text - In the planning phase of the door access network, Tom made it known that he would be trained on the new door system and be in charge of it, since it was a network in his school. The Principal made it known who's school it was, and that Tom would stay right the fuck away from it, since it was standalone and had nothing to do with him. Tom was not happy about this. One Tuesday, a little over 5 weeks since the door system had been live, I was driving to a job when I got the phone call that k

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Text - At the system operator terminal PC in an admin office, I hear that there were two issues. Some teachers couldn't open some doors this morning, and some other doors that the admin staff tried to change functions on weren't responding. I suspected the regular user teething issues. (We were 5 weeks into the 10 week term at this stage.) They went on to explain that they'd looked and found the teachers door access had been changed to remove some doors. They'd re-added the doors and fixed that,

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Text - Reconnecting the patch lead and rechecking the network, I see the other hubs are responding, so I push the door changes through. There are still questions though, so I open the system log. I see that the changes to the teachers access was made by one of the admin users at 5:33pm, and the hubs went off-line soon after. Strange, because the admin staff finished at 4.30pm. The log also showed that someone who is not admin staff entered this office at 5:08pm. Tom. I sat there and thought abou

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Text - As I was thinking, the admin staff said that Tom had been in earlier and had overheard the issues they were having. He'd said something to the effect of "That's what you get when you let electricians manage a network." Ohh ok, he was being pissy about being banned from this system. My crystal ball went through a variety of scenarios, and I decided to let sleeping dogs lie for now. Three days later, on the Friday, I got another call about the high schools door system. Checking in and check

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Text - Checking that the secondary back-up on an external drive was still intact, I dumped that into my laptop and had a swivel on the chair for a few minutes. Yep, this back-up showed that the admin login had been used to do the teachers changes this time, and delete the system log. All after the admin staff had left yesterday. This operator console PC had been provided by Tom, it was one of the school assets. The Gov't image was supposed to have been wiped and a clean operating system put on,

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Text - On Monday, I timed my arrival to the school just as the admin staff were leaving. I “just wanted to check some things on the system." They left and left me to it. I placed one small camera under the desk to see the back of the PC tower, one on a shelf looking at the screen, and one on top of a corner cupboard to see the room. Happy with my work, I went home. That Thursday, same thing again. Different teachers affected, and different hubs offline, but the same thing. Admin login used to wi

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Text - What he was doing was a fucking stupid way to go about it. His ego must be a thing of wonder. The contempt he must have held for my abilities (as just a Sparky) to figure things out, even without the cameras, was boggling. I maintain systems and networks far more complex than this. Like the schools security system for example. Or a similar door access system in a much much more secure facility. Ok fucker, game on. Over the next 4 weeks, Tom andI went through these dance steps 4 more times

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Text - The next 2 week term break was here, and we began changing out light fittings. It was easy work, and I had a team of 8. Once I kicked them off, I went to work. I added a relay card to each of 6 specially selected security system expansion points, in 6 different buildings. These buildings were where the people worked who disliked Tom the most. I'd worked at the school long enough to know all about it. Relays are wonderful. Give me enough relays, timers and contactors and I can make your wi

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Text - Say you figured out a way to get one specific pair of these 8 wires into, let's say, a relay. You could then maybe interrupt the upload wires, or download wires, or power wires. Any of these would cause issues for your computers ability to communicate. If you could turn the relays on and off at opportune times, for selected people, perhaps via a security system you had remote access to, you could maybe introduce weird intermittent faults in a network. If you could do this without it looki

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Text - A critical part of all this would be if you had a job, as an electrician, to make alterations to a buildings lighting. You could then turn some power circuits off, so that the network cabinet in a building was unpowered for a while. You could then take data cables out of patch panels without it being noticed by a Sysadmin. You could run a new length of data cable and terminate it into the patch panel, and make a nice coupled join of the two cables in the ceiling, then split off some pairs

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Text - The next day, you could go to work on the Head of English in another building. Then the Head of Science in another. Having Tom out of his office, and you having a legitimate reason to be in there (lighting job), would mean you could have a real good look around and find the the USB keylogger. Standing in Tom's office, I took a picture of the keylogger among the mess on his desk. (It might have been hidden in a drawer before that) Then I called my mate, Tom's old boss, the Regional Directo

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Text - On my laptop, in the Principals office, I showed them the videos of Toms vandalism on the door system. The Director examined the keylogger. It was so much worse than I thought. They found not only my system info on it, but info from the school accounting department, Directors department and more. Tom had so much incriminating evidence on it, from all kinds of Government departments, that he was bend-over-no-lube fucked. When Tom answered the summons to the Principals office, I couldn't he

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Text - He wasn't prosecuted, because that would've caused too much of a public stink. But Tom got flagged and would never again be able to work in any Gov't job, anywhere in the country. Not as a janitor. Or as a contractor doing Gov't work. And since graduating Uni, he'd only ever worked in Gov't. Sorry private industry, he's all yours now. - I did say something stupid though. After Tom left Principals office that reveal day, Principal asked Director if they could send someone competent to look

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Text - I put the network cabling back in place and took all my toys home. Thank you for reading. (Again, Fuck you Tom.) Glossary Kindy - Kindergarten. Where you learn, as a small child, not to run with scissors. Also where a lifelong acrimonious relationship is formed with glue. Not 'Clag' glue though. That shit was tasty. Scone - a delicious flour based baked treat. Grandma scones are the best, with cream and raspberry jam. The scones you try and make yourself are excellent hockey pucks.

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Text - Secret Squirrel - a cartoon I liked when I was a kid. A squirrel secret agent who has a mole mate. They have gadgets and adventures. Nick Cave - Australian Renaissance Man. Nick Cave is mostly known as a singer/songwriter. Excellent revenge planning music. Relay Logic - was used to run elevators before there were computers. So many things have relays. Little electromechanical wonders. I love them. Ok, so, a relay has a coil in it, that you energise. This creates a tiny electromagnet and p

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Tumblr Thread: Inspired DND Campaign Is a Feels Trip

Dungeons and Dragons lets your most creative friends come up with amazing ways to send you on adventures. Sometimes dungeon masters take the story far enough that it actually draws out a real emotional response from the players. People think a lot about fantasy worlds, like how this guy proposes that wizards are a bunch of magic snobs or this thing about dwarves having intelligent super beards.

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Text - thouartathaumaturgeharry O battlecrazed-axe-mage O forgamers They should make a co- op game where you and a buddy go through many levels, leveling up and beating bosses But the final boss is each other You were my brother Player 2!

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Text - crunchthedeerstroyer I one time did a campaign in DND where the entire party woke up in a trash heap, memories wiped, when a man in shining white armor approached them. He helped them up, healed them, and helped them escape what was essentially the dump and find their way into the sunlight. He told them of the tale of a wicked king of immense power who bargained for his abilities from a demon, hoping to save his kingdom, and succumbed to the evil after his wife died. The wife had a pearl

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Text - This particular NPC was startlingly overpowered at first, right a long the levels of 6 while everyone else was just starting out, and he helped them along in the most dire situations, healing, defeating, and even resurrecting for them. There would be periods where he would be gone, and the party would have to face a crypt full of mummies together, or dive into the deepest parts of the ocean and retrieve these milky white pearls that would give them the ability to help their friend and def

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Text - After they retrieved 5 pearls (they broke the 6th one), they journied with the man to the wicked king's castle, and fought their way through endless ranks of guards, undead, demons, and even a lich, until they made their way to the sacred bed chamber of the king, that they all remembered the story of from before they had awoken in that garbage pile. They opened the doors, only to find it empty, save the usual furniture, marred by scratches and the ancient scrawl of demons. The man in the

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Text - And his armor changed from white to pitch black, and the whole party remembered suddenly. That was the face of the wicked king, the face that smiled at them whenever he healed them, the face that looked stern as they suggested stupids things to find the pearls. Apparently, in lapses of the demon's control, the king had found a way to set him self up for defeat, by bringing his wive's pearls along with brave, powerful warriors. Every absence he felt was where he had to return to the demon'

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Text - I made the party fight the final boss, and they saw the eyes of a friend. They all cried, and I am no longer allowed to DM for them. fuckyeahsnackables GLORIOUS. battlecrazed-axe-mage Excellent DMing! Source: forgamers

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Tumblr Thread: Crazy Reason People Believe In Witches

Man, this Tumblr thread shines light on the fascinating, potential reason that so many people were possessed by the notion that witches are real. If you currently believe they are, no judgment. That being said, this thread points out there was some intense fungus poisoning going on that could've contributed toward nasty convulsions and hallucinations. What a trip.

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People - WITCH JAIL THIS HOUSE GONTAINS THE FRAME AND TIMBER8 OF THE JAIL WHERE THOSE AGGUSED OF WITGHORAFT WERE IMPRISONED IN 1692 1ERGENTENAE

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Text - vintagegal Girls pose by a jail that recalls the witch trials of 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts. Photo taken in 1945. theybuildbuildings I recently learned that the water in Salem was contaminated with the fungus from which LSD is derived and a legitimate theory for the whole thing is that everyone in the town was tripping balls

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Text - megan15 This might be the greatest thing ive ever seen on the internet myjamflavouredmindtardis We did a whole massive thing on this in history. I believe the fungus in question is called Ergot and it's terrifying. It makes your muscles spasm so when they had seizures that was the reason, not because they were possessed. One woman had to be strapped to her bed, she was seizing so bad. And, like 'theybuildbuildings' said, it had the same effects as LSD; as soon as you touch it, let alone c

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Text - system. The worst thing is, you practically always had a bad trip. Many complained about bugs crawling under their skin or monsters emerging from the shadows to scratch and bite at them until they were screaming. It was a horrendous thing and the worst part is, Ergot is still around. It grows on crops and, if your wheat isn't properly treated, it can be eaten and you'll most likely experience the same as the women of Salem. applecocaine god i love history

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Text - obytheby This is hella cool and almost correct... The effects on the people of Salem were probably from consuming bread with the fungus in it, not from contaminated water. Rye is way more commonly affected than wheat. In fact, the members of the clergy were able to afford nicer bread made from wheat and thus didn't suffer from the poisoning as often. You don't go on a spasm-y trip just by touching it. You have to consume it for weeks, which results in chronic poisoning. (If you stop eatin

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Text - possessions" took refuge in churches and stopped eating low-grade rye bread they were sometimes miraculously healed.) More interesting facts: Ergot poisoning can result in convulsions & hallucinations, or it can cause gangrene, depending on which group of active alkaloids are present. (Horrifying, either way.) It killed a lot of people in Europe in the Middle Ages. In Europe, often there was a strong correlation between wet summers (which provide ideal conditions for ergot) and reports of

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Text - And I just learned right now that one author dude translated the word “Beowulf" as “barley- wolf" which could indicate a connection to ergot. The LSD-like effects could be a valid explanation for stories of Old Norse warriors going into the a sort of trancelike battle rage. (this is exactly the kind of stuff my herbology medicinal plants class is about, it's so cool. we had a lecture on ergot last week.)

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Tagged: tumblr , Witches , information , knowledge

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Company Tries Selling Printing Supplies to Printing Company

Cold calls for unnecessary services are a pain, but these people put themselves in a no-win situation. They must be pretty bored at the call center t try this hard to sell printing supplies to a printing company. For some professional time wasting, here's a guy who sent a scammer on a crazy ride.

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Text - Posted by u/nenepp 3 days ago O 6 2 3 23 You won't stop cold calling a printing company to sell us printing unless I agree to set up a meeting with one of your reps? OK then. oc L I'm not sure if this quite counts as malicious compliance but I was just doing what they wanted me to so I guess it fits. In the mid 00's I worked for a small printing company, our commercial work was on large lithographic machines but we still had office printers and a number of staff who knew a lot about them.

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Text - I don't think a single one of our office printers had been purchased new or even working, the owner just bought job lots of broken office printers for not a lot of money and then frankensteined them into working ones. We didn't often buy printer paper because we'd just cut leftovers from the factory to suitable sizes for the office. Overall our office printing costs were extremely low despite the fact that we printed tens of thousands of pages a year. I was a general office dogsbody, amon

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Text - An office printing management service had got our number. They were offering a completely managed service where they loaned the machines, supplied the consumables, took care of everything and you just paid per print - great for some companies, expensive and unnecessary for us. When they first started ringing I kept telling them "sorry, we aren't interested, please remove us from your list" or "we're a printing company, we don't need managed printing services, please take us off your list"

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Text - caller was convinced he could save us money regardless of all that, I guaranteed him he couldn't, as I doubted we paid more than a penny a page. Naturally he didn't believe me, as far as he was concerned if I was answering the phone I was the office junior (no-one important answers the phone) who had no idea how much printing actually cost, and just too stubborn and/or stupid to put him through to someone that mattered and if he persisted eventually he'd get through to the right person wh

5.

Text - "Right, fine, sure, you can book a meeting for your reps but I guarantee it will be a complete waste of their time". I scheduled them a meeting with the "office manager" (me) on a Friday afternoon when I'm the only one in the office so I won't be too busy and it'll be a diversion. The reps arrive, I show them into the office, they are clearly thinking we spend a lot on printing because we have so many damn printers and I gave a rough idea of how much we get through in the office, they giv

6.

Text - Paraphrased conversation: Me: Not completely sure, think it's around £100-200 a year. Rep: Nah it'lI be a lot more than that with the amount of printing you do, is that just the paper? Me: No, that's just ink and toner. Rep: (looks sceptical) Well there's the paper too Me: To be honest we mostly cut down leftover paper from the factory or sometimes suppliers give us a few cases for free

7.

Text - Rep: OK, right, so what about the initial costs of the machines, if you average it out over the lifetime of prints rather than considering it just as capital expenditure it can make up a significant portion of your printing costs - this photocopier for example, it's a few years old now and you're looking at about £12,000 to replace it with a similar spec machine, so with our service you can avoid that capital expense. Me: The owner buys them broken and repairs them, most of the printers o

8.

Text - Rep: ...and the ongoing maintenance costs Me: :| Rep: . then there's the costs and lost productivity of downtime to consider... He is trailing off at this point, it's clearly part of his rehearsed spiel but he can also see downtime isn't an issue when we bizarrely have more printers than computers. Rep: There's absolutely no point us being here is there? Me: No, I'm afraid not. That was repeatedly explained to the guy who set up the meeting, but he said your company won't stop cold callin

9.

Text - The reps agree it is a complete waste of time, have a bit of a frustrated laugh about the call centre and say it's not the first time they've been sent to completely pointless meetings because the call centre folks get their commission based on the quantity not quality of the meetings they set up. They don't bother giving me their quote. I never heard from the company again.

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Tagged: printing , time , funny stories , work , wasted , paper , lol , company , printer , funny fails

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Driver Teaches Road Rager A lesson In Petty Revenge

Nothing melts our icy hearts like reading a story about a driver having to deal with some road rager that couldn't keep their stuff together, for like a minute (if that), and ends up being the butt end of a petty revenge. It's a beautiful thing, really. A lost art form.

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge u/-avenged- • 7h + Join 1 3 1 1 So you're not in a hurry? Okay then I guess you don't need to overtake, right? A bit of context - right-hand drive country, rightmost lane on the freeway is the fast/overtaking lane and you're to give way to faster vehicles regardless of how fast they're going, even if you're at the speed limit. Basically you have no right to police anyone's speed as a civilian.

2.

Text - Unfortunately, half the drivers here will happily hog the right lane even with the road ahead clear, and justify it as being within the speed limit (totally ignoring the rule about giving way). It's almost a daily occurrence and frankly it's frustrating because these guys just like to be on the fast lane without actually being fast, so they choke up everyone else behind. It's not uncommon to see a whole line of drivers picking up when that one hogger ahead finally changes lane, not becaus

3.

Text - I wait for an opening on the left, drop two gears, and overtake him. Then I ease off the throttle and cruise even slower than he was doing. Road hogger gets annoyed after awhile and switches to the middle to overtake. But l'm prepared for that, having scouted the road in front.

4.

Text - A little ahead of me are slow vehicles in the middle and left lane: A small truck in the middle lane and two bikes on the left going parallel to each other, all 3 doing 20 or 30 below the limit. Side by side. Perfect. I drop 2 gears and make sure to keep pace with the road hogger, modulating my throttle input until l'm about rolling up alongside the small truck, and then I let off the gas and pace the two slow vehicles in a very lazy 5th gear. Road hogger has absolutely nowhere to go on t

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Tagged: revenge , driving , petty , ridiculous , Reddit , FAIL , cringe , cringeworthy

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Weird Rules that Exist for Specific Reasons

Just about every workplace has a special rule that exists just because of something one person did. From warning labels to work policies, every strange rule started off as a unique and horrible adventure. Human stupidity is the only resource it's impossible to run out of, so there's a rich deposit of things that exist just because people are dumb.