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2020/12/18

Rascal Pranks Neighbors After Snowstorm and more...

Of all the pranks we've come across for when the city gets blanketed in a ton of snow, this one right here might be the most clever and devilish of them all. Just imagine what must've been going through their poor neighbor's head when they saw the scene ...

 

Rascal Pranks Neighbors After Snowstorm and more...


 In This Issue...



Rascal Pranks Neighbors After Snowstorm

 

Of all the pranks we've come across for when the city gets blanketed in a ton of snow, this one right here might be the most clever and devilish of them all. Just imagine what must've been going through their poor neighbor's head when they saw the scene of the (staged) crime. 

Submitted by: (via PieRow)

       
 

Cracked Recreates "Dune" With $20, Hilarity Ensues

 

Our friends at Cracked are back it again with another brilliant installment in their ongoing video series. We're still getting over their last video where they remade "Tenet" with $20. Naturally, this one's comedy gold as well. 

Submitted by: (via Cracked)

       
 

Karen Gets Lifted Out of Store

 

This guy kept asking her to leave, but for whatever reason she didn't want to go. Honestly this went way more smoothly than it could have. A higher level Karen would have fought and made things worse for everyone.

Submitted by: (via Daily Dose of Karen)

Tagged: wtf , lol , Video , store , karen
       
 

Tumblr Post: Kids Don't Understand How Faces Work

This quick and funny Tumblr post does a splendid job at highlighting one of the many moments of confusion that can arise between kids and their parents. The reality is that kids are just plain old weird and dumb. But like, in a nice innocent way. They do the silliest things, but it's all part of the inevitable process of growing up and slowly learning how this wild world works. 

1.

Text - anexperimentallife Follow Brian Wecht O @bwecht Audrey (6yo): Daddy! Did you know that after Michael left my school, he came back and now people call him David? Me: Does he look and sound totally different too? Audrey: Yes!!!

2.

Text - Me: That's not the same kid, honey. Audrey: *long pause* Maybe 3:51 PM · 11/6/20 Twitter for iPhone physticuffs Follow when i was three, i told my parents that my preschool classmate Molly had a new baby sister who was Chinese. my parents tried to explain to me that Molly's baby sister was Chinese because

3.

Text - Molly's parents were Chinese and Molly was, in fact, herself Chinese. i simply was not having any of it. Molly's baby sister might be Chinese and Molly's parents might even be Chinese (i couldn't tell because it's not like i ever looked at adults’ faces back then) but it didn't make sense for MOLLY to be Chinese because, like me, Molly was THREE. sandersstudies A family friend's kid came home from school when she was still pretty small and told her mom there

4.

Text - was a new kid at school who was “brown" and her mom is literally an Indian immigrant and she was like “honey you also are brown" and her kid was like “????????? no?" So sometimes small children do not know how appearances work. (Or, like the story above, race either) 11,286 notes

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History Memes to Become One with Time

Knowing some history isn't just a good way to place yourself in the context of your world, it's also a great way to get really specific references in the form of history memes. It's just good to have an idea of how things got to be how they are. How many reminders do you need that the Hapsburgs were inbred? Apparently a lot.

1.

Product - What we think people from the 14th :08 Century would be mind blown by: ONEPLUS What they'd Spices really be mind blown by: 0 o to

2.

Landmark - They don't know I'm about to blast off

3.

Line - European swords are the best!!! Noooo00o!!! The katana is the best!!! Spears. Yes.

4.

Blue - Route of the Macedonian troops guided by Alexander the Great Route of the jews during the exodus guided by Yahweh 11 years 40 years joyreactor.com

5.

Text - Victorian women: I'm hysterical I'm fine Victorian women after the invention of the vibrator: I am fucking hysterical

6.

Fictional character - My sister: when did the British go to war? Me: with who? My sister: France Me: Do you have the slightest idea how litle al arrons itdown?

7.

Interaction - Ве Turn реpper spicy so animals don't eat me to stay alive Humans Humans enjoy it enjoy it They plant more

8.

Hairstyle - 米 STOP Being Catholic - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA START Being EVEN HARDER. catholic NK

9.

Text - Fun facts with squidward! Spongebob Squarepants has been running for 21 years or more than 5 times longer the Confederacy existed imgflip.com

10.

Text - when was happiness invented ALL IMAGES NEWS SHOPPING VIDEOS The psychological and philosophical pursuit of happiness began in China, India and Greece nearly 2,500 years ago China, India, and Greece 2,500 years ago: China, India, and Greece 2,501 years ago:

11.

Audio equipment - When it took people over 3000 years to make synthetic purple dye but you knew that red and blue made purple since you were 3 Svert oe ititted aney Men tiriay their j cenent of the gruni - That whenver yhn of G ouainef thoe ent ittithe Regh ef the heple to alfter er to istitute new Fevnm laying its feunditieonC cipler te peras in such fimaste then shill won lyte efect i Heyrinan Prudince, inlerl. vill eta t Geerninent ell net be ehinged fr lht enl trantu end ae Kut liean that ma

12.

Cheek - 8yo Italian boy: *can sing* Catholic Church:

13.

Sleeve - The Bible: Jesus was born in spring. The Early Church: Unfortunately for you, history will not see it that way

14.

Head - D The Disinsider 'Pirates of the Caribbean' Reboot Moving Forward With A Female Lead 3 davs ago Am la jokerto you?

15.

Motor vehicle - A cool leader who led his people to glory 2922 His-fucking horrible successors

16.

Text - China during the 19th and 20th century u/karvina_42 China after some economic reforms in 1980s

17.

Yellow - Student:oh no i forgot the homework i need to do it quickly Mozart who wrote the overture to don Giovanni 2 hours before it's premiere:

18.

Poster - Mongols killing so many people the climate actually cools down Modern leaders trying to solve climate change made with mematic

19.

Fluid - 1950s Teenagers Elvis wiggling his hips

20.

Cheek - Egyptians in 3,000 BCE Meow bruh this MF is god I know y'all see it

21.

Organism - Hapsburgs when they see their cousins at the family reunion He is 3.5 metric tons of raw, sexual aggression.

22.

Facial hair - Die in no man's land Celebrate Christmas

23.

Animation - New Outdated Tactics Technology, WWI

24.

Plant - Dragons in European folklore: Dragons in Asian folklore:

25.

Nose - Me: Mom, am I beautiful? My mom: Like a prince! The Prince: 2 Ningueniga

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Tumblr Story: Plumber Accidentally Creates Metal Snake Ghost

Man, we can't imagine what must've been going through that poor roadside motel guest's head when they saw some kind of literal Lovecraftian monster appear in their bathroom. With that being said, it's nothing short of a hilarious picture. The poor plumber was just out there trying to do his job. Little did he know that he was going to traumatize an unsuspecting guest. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this story about an entitled boomer who learned that they couldn't handle a service job

1.

Text - lullabyforavirgin S iwasgoingtohellanyw... O Save catchymemes Follow O Malgayne 19h When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there. At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to w

2.

Text - I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end. So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twist

3.

Text - By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and figure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining - you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the room. Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a s

4.

Text - The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and

5.

Text - The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a me

6.

Green - spottytonguedog Follow This is legit the best thing l've read all day. secretladyspider Follow Please read it, please A umbrellanumber5 Follow Not fandom related but the ending had me laughing actual tears bogcreature64 Follow best thing i've reblogged to date

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Funny Language Memes For All The Language Nerds

Languages are strange. Many times things can literally get lost in translation when you're trying to communicate with another human being who just doesn't speak the same language as yourself. These moments of miscommunication can ultimately make for some hilarious moments of fail. 

1.

Text - theaustinstollhaus When people go off about how English is the worst language, I just wanna point out a few things: - Our future tense requires only one word (looking at you, Spanish) - Words don't change meanings depending on tone (Cantonese) - We don't live in some bizarre Beauty And The Beast world where we give inanimate objects genders (romance languages, German) - Likewise, we don't have have two different words for "they" because we don't care whether "they" were male or female (Sp

2.

Text - When people ask me why they should learn a language instead of using google translate, I show them this: English- Spanish paper jam Mermelada de papel Open in Googe Trarstae Fooback VIVAlanga Vivalanga- Find Language Exchange Partners

3.

Cheek - When you confuse languages V = Tr -h 3 A = ar? Yovoy to Á go al cine C= 2 the cinema %3D V = tr*h 30° 459 60° tan (0) fsin xdx =-cosx +C 10 sin gx +C, COS Cosx ftgxdx=-Injensx|+ tan Yo go al cinema 2x Yo cinemos to al voy Intgc 30° arcta 145

4.

Property - Me: this question won't be on the test tomorrow The question:

5.

Face - Tupac Ustedpac Formal vs. Informal adam the.creator,

6.

Mode of transport - every year sitting in front of the DLPT after refresher Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!

7.

Text - ARABVTCH @tvriqsdead nobody: arabic teachers with a marker: 8:21 AM 17 Feb 19 Twitter for iPhone

8.

Soldier - When you're in public and hear a conversation in your target language

9.

Green - DUOLINGO 7:07 PM Hi! It's Duo. Looks like missed your korean lesson. You know what happens now. A EMERGENCY ALERTS 29m ago Emergency Alert BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

10.

Text - Sophuckingoode @SophieRachael95 A German man just came into the pub and tried to ask for cutlery but ended up saying "I need some food weapons" and I will now be referring to them by nothing else

11.

Lip - Jon-Michael Poff @JMPoff literally every single letter in the word hors d'oeuvres I don't think I belong here. >

12.

Text - Literally no one: The DLAB: URUGUAY GUAY URU 券 URU URU GUAY GUAY UR UR UR GUAY GUAYGUAY RRRRRR URG AY

13.

Purple - gets the sample question wrong IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT

14.

Text - ENGLISH: NINETEEN NINETY SEVEN. FRENCH: ENGLISH: PLEASE DON'T DO IT. FRENCH: THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED FOUR TWENTY TEN SEVEN.

15.

Text - someone: so you can read Russian? me: ШЭГГ УЭБ, ВЦТ ДСТЦДГГУ ИО

16.

Yellow - BANANA GRAMMAR 23) BANANA ВАВА ΑΝΑΝΝΑΝΑ NANABA АВBА AN NAB ANNA BANANNA BBBBBBBAN ААААААА NBA BANANA? ΝΑΝΑΝΑNΑΝΑΝΑΝΑΝΑ BANBAAA @ERRAINEON

17.

Finger - you said I could go out in two weeks! I said inshallah

18.

Nose - lido fle,la, les der,das,die den,das,die dem,dem,der El,la,los,las The

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Tagged: language , Memes , ridiculous , funny
       
 

Woman Moves To Same Neighborhood As Ex, Drama Ensues

This woman asked the folks of Reddit whether or not she was in the wrong for moving to the same neighborhood as her ex and his wife. If anything it sounds like the guy in this situation isn't quite over his ex lover, and his current partner is well aware of it. With that being said though, it's really just always likely to err on the side of dramatics if you end up moving into the same neighborhood as your ex. Hard to picture a situation where something unfortunate doesn't end up happening. 

1.

Text - AITA for moving into the same neighbourhood as my ex and his wife? Not the A-hole My engagement to "Matt" ended after I found out he was cheating on me with "Claire". He ended up marrying Claire after I broke up with him. During our engagement, we were looking to move into a new house. Everything was ready for us to move in, we just had to sign the paperwork. Matt ended up moving into the house with Claire.

2.

Text - This all happened 4 years ago, and I've moved on since. My fiancé andI were living in his house until two months ago. He decided he wanted to demolish and rebuild it, so we had to find another place to stay whilst it's being built. We ended up finding a house in the same neighbourhood as my ex and his wife. When Matt and I originally found the house he now lives in with his wife, I did ALL of the work finding it. I absolutely loved that house and I was more upset about not being able to m

3.

Text - We've lived here for two months now. The first month was completely peaceful and I didn't see my ex or his wife even once. In the second month, I became more friendly with some of my neighbours and they introduced me to the other neighbours including Claire. That evening, she came to my house and went on a long rant about how I was trying to get Matt back and I was a stalker. After that, I started seeing Matt a lot and he wouldn't stop making conversation with me. Things got really heated

4.

Text - Here's why I might be an AH, our lease is month to month so we could technically move as soon as we find a new place but I don't want to. I feel like they already stole one house from me, why should I give this one up too? I've also asked Matt, and even my fiancé has told him, to stop talking to me but I can't control what he does. AITA? Edit: I'm just going to clarify because every other comment seems to be mentioning it. I do not talk to Matt. I ignore him and keep doing whatever it is

5.

Text - jinyuki_91 • 1d NTA - They don't own the neighborhood jc. Seems like 'Claire' is the one who can't move on. Probably insecure because she was once a third party. Claire's friends and family have now taken to social media to pressure me to move because l'm ruining a good marriage. If talking to an ex from 4 years ago especially when said party has moved on is something that can ruin a marriage...news flash honey it's not "good" at all. Reply 1 2.7k 3 ...

6.

Text - katmck14 • 1d • Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] O 3 6 Awards NTA It sounds like Matt's not over you and Claire knows it. You are NOT obligated to move because they can't stand you being there. If he wanted to keep you he shouldn't have cheated, and if she didn't want a cheating husband she shouldn't have married a known cheater. This is 100% not your problem. Reply 11.0k ...

7.

Text - WembleyToast • 22h • Certified Proctologist [20] NTA. 1. Tell Matt to fuck off back home to Claire any time he talks to you. 2. Tell Claire you chose to live in this neighbourhood before she even knew it existed. She can have the ex and the house you chose, but she can't have the whole neighbourhood. Reply 1 204 3 ...

8.

Text - urson_black • 23h • Asshole Aficionado [12] NTA. If anything, Matt is TA. If Matt attempts to talk to you, IGNORE HIM. If I had to guess, things are not rosy with Matt and his wife, and he's using you to irritate her. Don't allow yourself to be drawn into his game. Reply 1.1k 3 ...

9.

Text - STCBLMAHA • 21h My engagement to "Matt" ended after I found out he was cheating on me with "Claire". Claire's friends and family have now taken to social media to pressure me to move because l'm ruining a good marriage. The irony. NTA Reply 180 ...

10.

Text - KatFrog • 1d • Professor Emeritass [87] NTA You picked out a place to stay while your house is getting work done. You didn't pick the house out because your ex lives there. I suggest that you put effort into not talking to Matt. I also suggest you look into getting a restraining order against Claire. Reply 409 ...

11.

Text - CheerilyTerrified • 22h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [47] NTA I guess Claire is afraid of the old "If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you thing". Just tell Claire's friends and family that unlike some you don't hook up with people in relationships. Ų Reply 68 3 ...

12.

Text - GirlNamedKarl • 23h NTA, it's not your fault that after 4 years, your cheating ex and his mistress turned wife are still living at the house you thought was only available for a year. As long as you're not putting effort into getting back into his life or whatever, live where you want! If he continues to reach out, put your foot down and let him know you have no interest in having a friendship or any relationship with him. You already know he has cheating tendencies, don't let him drag yo

13.

Text - Chains_and_Loops • 23h NTA but you should start ignoring them. And those neighbors who say you're ruining a "good" marriage, do they know that marriage is between a homewrecker and a cheater? Reply 32 3 ...

14.

Text - Fleegle2212 • 22h • Certified Proctologist [24] NTA. Holy wow; it sure seems like you dodged a bullet with Matt. To protect everyone's sanity, stop talking to Matt. Simply tell him you don't want to talk to him and walk away. He'll get the message after a bit. Claire's friends and family have now taken to social media to pressure me to move because l'm ruining a good marriage. Tighten your privacy settings. (There is nothing stopping Claire and Matt from moving.) Reply 1 26 ...

15.

Text - jenkinsburns • 23h • Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA. They don't own the neighbourhood. And Claire has some nerve making any demands of you at all considering she was the other woman, etc. Reply 19 •..

16.

Text - Knittingfairy09113 • 23h NTA Can you get a cease and desist? 1- to hopefully keep him away and the benefit of 2- getting it through Claire's head that her husband is the issue (which shouldn't be a surprise given how their relationship started) Reply 44 ...

17.

Text - UberN00b719• 19h "To 'Claire's' friends and family: While I understand your ire against me, I have to inform you all that your anger is misplaced. My ex and I were engaged and 'Claire' was the other woman that ex left me for. If anything, you should understand the irony of what you're saying. If you want to be angry at someone, direct it to my ex. Additionally, you MAY want to have a chat with 'Claire' about her insecurities. Four years is a long time to resent someone whose life she upen

18.

Text - SoValkyrieMama • 22h • Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA. However, stop talking to Matt. If he approaches you, say "I don't want to talk to you" and walk away. Don't answer the door. Etc. Continuing to engage with Matt makes it seem like you're enjoying the attention or drama of this. Reply 1 28 ...

19.

Text - Apprehensive-Mix1566 • 22h NTA, she's worried because she knows he cheated on you, what's stopping him from making the same choices in this relationship? Reply 1 10 ...

20.

Text - MrsQute • 22h • Partassipant [4] NTA - it's a temporary situation. If she and/or Matt keeps harassing you then request a restraining order maybe or have a lawyer draw up a cease and desist order. It won't stop her from being a shrew but now you've got some official recourse. Q Reply 1 11 3 ...

21.

Text - ComprehensiveBand586 • 23h NTA. I don't even talk to most of my neighbors. Matt is the asshole since he's ignoring everyone's wishes by talking to you. # Q Reply 17 ...

22.

Text - TypicalManagement680 • 22h • Certified Proctologist [28] NTA Claire is paranoid because of how she got him and he might still be interested in you. Q Reply 4 10 3 ...

23.

Text - Puppet007 • 22h NTA Call them out for being hypocrites and press charges on them for harassment. Reply 1 5 ...

24.

Text - thatonepersoniam • 21h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] NTA- They cheated and now have a shakey relationship. As long as you're not purposely causing problems, and you seem to be trying to avoid them, then let her run her mouth. You're better than her drama Reply ...

25.

Text - the-truffula-tree • 22h NTA, but I have to wonder why you're interacting with Matt at all or why you're social media friends either Claire or her friends or her family. This high school drama bullshit could all be avoided like...super easily Reply 32 ...

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Tumblr User Does The Math On Forging Literal Blood Sword

Man, it's unexpected threads like this that really spotlight just how lovably weird the world of Tumblr can get. We have some buds who end up quite literally running the numbers on what it'd actually take to craft a blood sword, cause why not? What else are you going to do with your free time? 

1.

Green - edwardspoonhands lizziekeiper 000 Verizon ? 9:02 PM O 100%| < Messages Ethan Details K So i calculated it. And it eould only take about 400 people to get enough iron to forge a steel longsword What U know how fantasy books talk about swords "forged with the blood of enemies"

2.

Text - Well i calculated it out, and if u drainked about 400 adult men kf their blood, and extracted the iron from it, u would have enough for a longsword. Forged from the blood of your enemies That's pretty neat Ikr Text Message Send

3.

Text - macaedh what the fuck ethan kvothbloodless I wish i had a context for this. But I really dont. pervocracy I was all ready to "um, actually" this, but, um, actually there's about 3-4 grams of iron in a person, which x400 is 1.2-1.6kg, which is a smallish but not unreasonable sword. So. Math checks out. maxiesatanofficial How would you extract the iron, though? The more practical solution would be to kill a mere hundred men, then mix 1 part blood with 3 parts standard molten iron, imo. Chea

4.

Text - bemusedlybespectacled Or, you could just make the sword of iron, and then use the blood to temper the blade. squeeful 1.2 to 1.6 kilograms is a perfectly reasonable large sword. Your average longsword was 1.1-1.8 kg and I don't even remember if that's including the weight of the hilt, guard, and pommel or just the blade. Your more classic "knight sword" was a mere 1.1 kilograms on average; the blood of 400 men is more than enough. This is using the comparatively crappy metallurgy of medie

5.

Text - Oe optimysticals So putting my thoughts in on this... because how could l not. So you've exsanguinated your 400 guys to get the iron for your sword. Cool. But now you have 400 bodies lying around. Why not put those to good use and cremate them. Use the carbon from those 400 bodies (you won't need all of them) and now you can make a nice mid-high carbon steel sword. Now you have a sword forged with the blood of your enemies AND strengthened with their bones. hedwig-dordt "high fantasy math

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People's Biggest Flexes They Tell No One

Everyone's sense of achievement is a little bit different, but we've all done things we consider great, whether they were planned or totally accidental. You could be talking to someone for an hour and never know they once held the world record in Buck Hunt or if they're a double jointed. People do some amazing things, like these "I'll do it myself" moments in history.

1.

Text - Theoboi63 3.7k points · 15 hours ago 3 2 I intentionally don't step on ants just because they're cool

2.

Text - PM_meASelfie 44.5k points · 16 hours ago · edited 6 hours ago 3 3 @9 3 3 8 4 When my girlfriend and I worked at the same bar, I threw a coaster at her like a frisbee. It arced over her and like twenty customers only to land perfectly on the neat stack of other coasters like 50 feet away. It was so fucking cool but nobody noticed except one customer who I later had to kick out for taking a nap on the bar. No point in telling anybody, but I look back fondly on that moment.

3.

Text - _dontjimthecamera 39.3k points · 12 hours ago 3 8 12 3 15 5 In my public speaking class I had to give a speech on procrastination. I wrote the speech an hour before class. In my feedback notes I was told I had great preparation.

4.

Text - onthenextmaury 37.6k points · 14 hours ago 9 7 26 & 13 More I saw a lizard in the middle of a busy road. I bent down on the side of the road and called for it as I put my hands out and he ran straight into my arms. I carried him to safety and didn't think anything of it until I heard a stranger behind me go, "Did y'all see that shit?? She's a lizard whisperer!" Man I wish there was another witness because I bet I looked cool

5.

Text - whiteshadow88 31.3k points · 13 hours ago 4 9 7 S 4 & 3 More Woman in my office had a fairly long piece of TP attached to her shoe and I stepped on it and detached it from her shoe. I felt like a super hero. I still feel like a superhero about it.

6.

Text - frick-you-fricker 27.9k points · 13 hours ago 2 3 3 & 4 More I saw Elton John in Vegas. Red Piano Tour. During Benny and the Jets (I can whistle extremely loudly), I nailed the whistle part that is on live version of the song that plays on the radio. He smiled.

7.

Text - roadtrip-ne 27.0k points · 16 hours ago 3 O 4 & 11 More I can make the price of any stock go down simply by buying it.

8.

Text - Ill_pick_later 25.2k points · 14 hours ago 46 2 4 4 3 7 8 2 I keep light up sketchers under my bed to walk around the house at night.

9.

Text - frankzero01 20.6k points · 13 hours ago 3 3 8 3 Had a class where the professor was pissed that everyone did really bad on an essay and was yelling at the class. He said that aside from one person who got a 97 percent he was disappointed with everyone there. I had the 97 percent.

10.

Text - humanperson7 20.4k points · 16 hours ago 2 8 I won a youtuber's writing competition. My story got seen by 100k people which was cool. But all the other winners got a trip to vidcon for a live reading of their stories...I didn't because I don't have social media. Yes I'm still salty about it, 7yrs later

11.

Text - Papazotic 16.8k points · 14 hours ago I have a no gag reflex...this will go to my grave... married man with 3 kids

12.

Text - zombieggs 15.5k points · 13 hours ago · 4 3 2 E 3 I ran over a half marathon at night for five edited 3 hours ago months everyday, I shouldn't be proud because that was my lowest point mentally but I was.

13.

Text - 2 32 whatcubed 15.1k points · 12 hours ago I have enough old, valuable Magic the Gathering cards to buy a car. A new, really nice car. I don't tell anyone IRL because they're from when I was young and collected them, and my current social circle would think it's kid/nerd stuff and wouldn't understand. Doesn't get me down, though. Current plan is to hold on to them until they go up enough over time to match my mortgage balance, then use them to pay off my house.

14.

Text - mr_sto0pid 14.6k points · 16 hours ago · edited 2 hours ago O I am on the top page of the high scores for 8 5@4 & 6 More runecrafting in the game old-school runescape.

15.

Text - throwaway61419 14.3k points · 16 hours ago My debit card went through for a really large amount and the lady behind the counter had been being so smug and irritating for so long and then she tried to deny my card because "it wouldn't go through for that amount" and I asked her to just please try it. The look on her face when it went through was so satisfying. May I never make that large a purchase again.

16.

Text - motodextros 13.8k points · 12 hours ago O 2 & 12 More Whenever I think about telling this story, it always comes out with a "that happened" type of feel, so I have kept it to myself. Everyday in junior year of high school I would eat my lunch, stand up, and toss my trash toward the wide mouthed trash can about 25 feet away. Everyday... I would miss. I would then routinely do the walk of shame to get it all thrown away. This went on until the Spring, it was April or May (I forget when exac

17.

Text - jbartlet827 12.3k points · 12 hours ago e I bought some then relatively worthless Apple stock because I thought I'd be able to eBay the stock certificate with the rainbow apple logo when the company went out of business. My investment guy just thinks I'm really clever. I've not corrected him.

18.

Text - shipoopi29 11.2k points · 16 hours ago I'm on level 4,000 in candy crush

19.

Text - The_russiankid e 8.4k points · 13 hours ago 2 3 e 3 3 & 5 More I dropped a fry from my mouth and slapped it to try and save it. It landed back in the box

20.

Text - milescowperthwaite 5.9k points · 14 hours ago · edited 4 hours ago I pulled over when I saw a house on fire one 3 2 2 & 9 More morning. Ran over and a woman was crying that her child was inside. I ran into the smoke and fire, down a hallway, followed the crying. Found the child and carried her outside to her mom. I waited with them until the FD arrived, then left. Was late for work and got yelled at. Didnt say anything to anyone.

21.

Text - JosePrettyChili 5.2k points · 9 hours ago ,6 & 30 More I was in the grocery store and saw an older woman standing in the aisle comparing what was in her cart to what was in her wallet, obviously counting to see if she could afford everything. Based on her body language as she walked away I could tell that the answer was no. So I took a 20 out and walked up to her and said, "M'am, when you were over there just a second ago this fell out of your wallet." I handed her the bill, and just walk

22.

Text - TheSlothProphet 3.8k points · 17 hours ago Everytime I eat a popsicle, I bite it and chew it. It makes my teeth feel super cold and fresh, it doesn't hurt me at all

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Call Center Won't Give Employee Raise, Malicious Compliance Ensues

Call centers sound like they can be quite the soul sucking kind of establishment to work at. You regularly deal with irrational and unwarrantedly enraged customers that just refuse to recognize that there is in fact a human being on the other end of the call. And then you throw into the mix a company like the one we have in this story of malicious compliance...yikes, indeed. We're just grateful that this particular story has a happy ending for the poor employee that had to deal with a company trying to screw them over. 

1.

Text - r/MaliciousCompliance + Join u/ikarosswings0 • 1d Give me a raise or replace me. XL Almost a decade ago i worked in a call center doing over the phone tech support. I worked there for almost 7 years until i was fired because the desk phone they issues me malfunctioned for 6 weeks straight (despite my continued twice a week complaints). They didn't even try to appeal my unemployment either...

2.

Text - Anyway, i started there in 2008 and by 2010i had switched from a customer servixe roll to a tech support roll and then moved into a more senior tech support roll (which did not come with extra pay). My job consisted primarily of calling customers back who had an issue that normal tech support was unable to resolve. If i had time, i was expected to help call back customers who left dissatisfied surveys as well. I was also given certain blocks of time during the week to monitor the interdep

3.

Text - I take pride in my work. Once i learned the ins and outs of the system, i became rather competitive. Each survey or escalation had an associated ticket. We were expected to close 60 tickets per month per person. This equated to just under 3 per day. In order to close a ticket, we either had to resolve their issue (or at least note their additional survery feedback), escalate their issue to the corporate office (to die. More on that later), or leave 3 voice mails over 3 days and send them

4.

Text - monitored the chatroom, often more often than required, wrote articles for our internal database, helped our slowest members with paperwork, answered incoming front line emails if they were behind, and had low level agents directly transfer live customers to me rather than escalating them if i knew i could resolve their issue right away. Towards the end of that 3 years i also began helping out another department that dealt with customers who mailed their device in for repair. It wasn't th

5.

Text - The company i worked for (the one who signed my paychecks) was a contract company owned by a big multinational out of canada. They took contracts from companies like DirecTV, comcast, and usaa. I found out that the company i was doing contracted work for paid my company $35/hour for my time, but i only saw $10.50 of that. T also was almost never allowed over time, maybe 1-2 weeks a year for the entire 7 years. First level leaders were salaried and, if they didnt work any overtime, made ab

6.

Text - The company that msde the product i was troubleshooting was like a dumpster fire. They sold a product that developed a hardware issue, which they knew was a hardware issue, but they forbid us from telli a customer that and instead told them that we were working on a software update. Despite being primarily in the USA, our website only offered user manuals in spanish and the website developer claimed that it was "impossible" to add a new tab for user manuals to the website. A co worker re-

7.

Text - ship out a replacement device and would not provide any sort of loaner device. Minimum repair time was 3 weeks and the customer was responsible for shipping the device in, including paying for shipping and a box. If it got lost on the way, it wasn't our problem. Apparently our repair center decided that first in, first out wasnt a convenient system for processing the repairs, so they just pulled however they felt like it. I had the pleasure of calling customers who had mailed their device

8.

Text - Now comes the malicious compliance. The first came in when the company trier to launch an in house made data backup service. It was extremely poorly developed and failed miserably. Much better and free systems existed and even if the company's system had worked flawlessly, it had no benefits that i could see. When we started receiving complaints that it was not working, our corporate office told us to just immediately escalate to them, don't even troubleshoot. I knew nothing was ever goin

9.

Text - could change the responsible person on the ticket fron myself to the person at corporate in charge of this issue st the beginning instead of assigning it to them at the end. I entered 128 tickets for that issue alone that night (i was working second shift at the time). It only took me a few hours. T had plenty of time to do real work after that. That means the person at corporate who was supposed to handle these cases came in to work the next day with over 350 new emails in their inbox. W

10.

Text - My last malicious compliance came when they started letting people work from home. They did this to save on operating costs as they expanded the work force. By moving associates to work from home (this was 2012), they didnt have to pay for electricity or as much bandwith, etc. If you worked from home, you were issues a terminal and keyboard/mouse and a phone. You had to supply a monitor and the system was a virtual machine. When an opportunity came up to switch to work from home, i put in

11.

Text - was actually money. I didnt get a pay cut and i was spending a lot of money on on gas because i lived 25 miles from work and gas was over $4 a gallon a the time. Working from home was like a $0.50/hour raise because i was spending $20 a week on gas. Working from home was also great for me because i could work incmy pajamas, and didnt waste over an hour driving to and from work. I never understood why they wouldnt let me do what i had been doing before from home, i had all the same tools a

12.

Text - I stayed with the company for 3 years after that, mostly because the work was easy and i wasn't particularly motivated to find something better. I ended up getting fired in the end. Like i said, they issued me a desk phone. It was like a landlime phone, but had an LCD screen with some configurable options on it, and you could plug in a headset, and it worked over the internet. About 6 weeks before i got fired, my phone started having an issue where it would drop calls. Normally, it would

13.

Text - unavailable state, and despite me telling him that it was my desk phone and that it had been happening for weeks, insisted on giving me a formal verbal warning. When my supervisor came in the next day, she immediately called me and told me she was upgrading my verbal warning to a final written warning. The company, like many, had a 4 step system of of verbal, written, final written warning, and then terminated. She gave no reason for why she was upgrading it to a final written. A few days

14.

Text - a Friday night and they said that normal help desk personel wouldnt be available until monday morning. I hung up and called my boss instead. It went to voicemail. I continued to try to reach out to my boss Saturday, sunday, and monday via text, phone, and email. I had been scheduled to work all weekend (i normally had days off in the middle of the week) but couldn't do so as i was unable to log in to my terminal or phone. Monday morning i called the help desk again and was told that i "wa

15.

Text - I was on unemployment for 6 weeks before starting at my curent job. Since then i have gotten 2 promotions and am currently making more than double what i made at my old job. To top it all off, last year the company lost a class action lawsuit for making people sign into their terminals and open software before clocking in. They didn't want to pay peoppe for those 5 or so minutes a day, and they lost millions of dollars. I got a check for a few hundred bucks out of it which was a nice touc

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British Lad Mistakes Hot Chocolate Treat For Bath Bomb, Mess Ensues

Always read those instructions. You just never know if you're going to end up right in the middle of an unfortunate predicament where you assumed that the hot cocoa bomb you were so kindly gifted for the holidays, is actually a bath bomb. We don't even care if this is real or not. Just picturing this dude going through with this, completely oblivious is enough to get the laughs rolling. 

1.

Blue - Messenger 9:35 PM Ment to say to you today put that chocolate bath bomb in bath and it got stuck in my hair etc took ages to wash out was quite sticky but thanx luv xxx That was not a bath bomb trish for fuck sake ru serious xxX Wasn't it

2.

Blue - Seriously! It was a hot chocolate bomb U drink it!! Poor hot milk on it xx Was stuck round bath and me ohhh dear saw bomb 9:41 PM

3.

Blue - 9:41 PM Please tell me your joking!!! Me and Shaun are pissin our selfs here xx Seen It had marshmallows in the middle of it xx Had to rinse my hair off about three times

4.

Blue - Ru really been serious I've never laughed so much in my life I've got tears rolling down my face 9 Well I didnt bloody know Carly thought summat was ammiss when bath looked like I had shit in it

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Karen Takes Sweet Time In Handicap Space, Gets Blocked In

On the list of simple things to do to avoid being a jerk, not parking in a handicap space is really near the top. It's incredibly easy to not park in one when you don't need one, but this Karen just couldn't resist. People notice, like this parking lot Grinch who saved the day when drivers kept illegally parking in handicap spots.

1.

Text - r/EntitledPeople · Posted by u/fredzred 5 days ago 3 S Karen Won't Get Out Of The Handicap Parking Space And Gets Angry When She Gets Blocked in Here I was, thinking that I'd ran out of entitled people stories that don't involve my mother, but I'm back with yet another one. This happened a few days ago. I'm recovering from abdominal surgery 12 days prior to when this happened. I was finally feeling up for shopping and there were things I needed from the hardware store. I'm a 30yo disabled

2.

Text - Mr. Taxi Man (who we'll call Bruce) dropped me off and I went in to do my thing. Nothing out of the ordinary. When I finished my shopping I called to get the taxi back. It would be a 15 minute wait but it was such a nice day that I didn't mind waiting outside. As I was waiting I noticed that someone was parked in the disabled parking space but there was no disabled tags on the windscreen. Annoying but I honestly didn't care at that point. I just wanted to get home. About 10 minutes later

3.

Text - A few minutes after that I saw my taxi arrive. Bruce, being the polite and patient man he is, waited for the woman to drive out of the car space. Karen knew he was waiting for her and she was damn sure she was parking illegally in the disabled parking space, but do you think she cared? She finished her cigarette and got into her car. We waited. And waited. Then waited some more. Until Bruce got rightly fed up and parked the taxi directly behind Karen's car, blocking her in. This is when t

4.

Text - BRUCE: (in a mocking apologetic tone) "I'm very sorry but I needed the car space. And you seemed to ma'am, want to stay there. Just thought I'd do you a favor. Now, if you don't mind, I have a job to do." Brice gestured in my direction as I gave Karen a big smile. I hate confrontation so I appreciated Bruce doing it for me. Bruce got into the car and fastened me and my wheelchair into place, all the while with Karen yelling profanities and threatening to call the police. If it were any ot

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Tagged: revenge , lol , entitled , funny , karen , parking
       
 

Parents' Funniest Zoom Call Interruptions

There's no getting around the fact that all of us have had our lives turned upside down in one way or another amidst these difficult times. Many folks have been forced to adopt a remote routine for their work situation. This can make for quite the hilarious, occasionally vulgar interruptions. It's hard, man. You're often sharing a space with other human beings that are just trying to go about their own business. In this case, we have parents describing their funniest Zoom call interruptions by their kids. If these tweets got you going, check out more tweets that capture the emotional rollercoaster of parenting over here

1.

Text - Sarah Stern 000 @sarah_stern So my kid interrupted my zoom lab meeting to inform me (and everyone else) that "daddy is pooping." How's your day going? Mine is in serious need of boundaries.

2.

Text - Melissa B wers 00 @MelissaBowers_ The kids just ran shirtless past my husband's Zoom meeting and one of them shouted, "BUT ARE THEY NIBBLES OR NIPPLES???" so that's how working from home is going today

3.

Text - Dr. Erin Marie Furtak 000 @furtak During a one hour zoom call this afternoon, my son interrupted me to ask "What is an invasive species? What is abundant?" And finally, "what is civilization?" That last one might take a while to answer...

4.

Text - Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy @storiesofamom And for today's Zoom Conference Call entertainment - my child can be heard performing what I can only assume is an exorcism on her troll dolls. And fart noises. Please don't fire me.

5.

Text - Robert Knop 000 @FatherWithTwins My kids just pounded on my office door yelling "FBI - open up!!!" when I was on a work call, so yeah, I'm totally looking forward to them going back to school in-person.

6.

Text - Phil Gentry @pmgentry My 4yo daughter interrupted the zoom graduate oral exam I was sitting on to demand my can of seltzer, then threw her head back and chugged the whole thing in front of everyone.

7.

Text - biological stasis @LipstickFacade 000 Yesterday my profs 4 year old daughter interrupted our zoom meeting thrice demanding to be put in her Rapunzel dress and each time he reminded her she did not own a Rapunzel dress which caused a look of betrayal so intense to spread across her face that even i was mad at him

8.

Text - Jessica Grose 000 @JessGrose My husband just told me that on a work call today, he said, "OK, I'm hanging up," and our 3 year old said, "OK, I'm hanging butt." It's the best thing that's happened to me this week tbh

9.

Text - Marlisa Pillsbury, PhD @Marlipie 000 Replying to @mrdowden @doryowen and 2 others My son (5) ran in and interrupted my husband's zoom meeting recently. He repeatedly yelled at his coworkers "what's 999,999 plus 1!?!?" while watching himself jump up and down on the screen Luckily it was a company happy hour

10.

Text - Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy @storiesofamom So far I've awkwardly apologized for: • my cat typing nonsense on my computer in a work group chat • my toddler screaming "I NEED HELP WIPING" on a conference call and the choral musings of Frozen 2 on repeat. Working from home is going great.

11.

Text - No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards 00 I locked my office so my kids wouldn't interrupt my work meeting, but then my 6yo knocked and knocked, until I stood up and answered. Naturally, I forgot to shut off my camera, and now everyone knows my work polo was tucked into my sweatpants, and that dogs can ride surfboards.

12.

Text - Jessica Grose 000 @JessGrose Just heard the four words I dread most when l'm on a work call: "Can someone wipe me?"

13.

Text - Bathsheba Crocker @shebacrocker My daughter told me not to worry about lunch, that she would make it for herself, and she's eating a "pita bread sandwich" the inside of which is nutella. My other daughter interrupted a zoom work call to raise an "urgent question" about chocolate truffles. So we're good.

14.

Text - Panio Gianopoulos @panio 000 Got interrupted during a Zoom work call today to answer my son's urgent question: "Dad! Dad! [waves hands] Is there any other way to make lava besides a volcano?"

15.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Kids: Are you on a work call? Me: Yes. Kids: okay [all use saucepans as drums to recreate STOMP]

16.

Text - Dude-Bro Dad @thedadvocate01 6: Will you make me a sandwich? Me: I'm on a zoom meeting 6: Pause it

17.

Text - Becky @beckythehoff A coworker's kid kept jumping in on zoom wearing a dinosaur costume and his mom said "that's my interrupt-asaurus" with the straightest of faces I am deceased

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Company's Earthquake Safe Bed Is Nightmare Fuel

 

There's literally nothing that's comforting about this insane nightmare bed. But hey, apparently it's supposed to be your knight in shining armor if there's ever an earthquake around looking to wreak havoc. 

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