Tumblr Thread About Horrifying Monster Mold and more...

So, the Elephant's Foot mold sounds like some sort of mythological Medusa-level monster. Sounds to me like a big heap of forbidden pudding. Seriously, no thank you. Here's to hoping we don't find ourselves one day in the future, being enslaved by black mold overlords.

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Text - unexplained-events The photo above is the closest humanity has ever come to creating Medusa. If you were to look at this, you would die instantly.

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Text - The image is of a reactor core lava formation in the basement of the Chernobyl nuclear plant. It's called the Elephant's Foot and weighs hundreds of tons, but is only a couple meters across. Oh, and regarding the Medusa thing, this picture was taken through a mirror around the corner of the hallway. Because the wheeled camera they sent up to take pictures of it was destroyed by the radiation. The Elephant's Foot is almost as if it is a living creature.

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Text - madmaudlingoes Friendly reminder that this blob of core material was so hot and dense, it melted/ burned through three floors of the building before coming to rest in the lowest basement. And there's now a unique species of black mold that feeds off the gamma radiation it produces. zubenpics Is no one else seriously freaked out by that mold? No? Just me, then?

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Text - clarabosswald wiki article about the mold grubwizard LOVE that mold! bowelflies okay but The Elephant's Foot is a large mass of black LFCM with many layers, externally resembling tree bark and glass. The mass is quite dense, unyielding to a drill but able to be damaged by a Kalashnikov rifle. By June wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy was someone shooting it with a kalashnikov

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Text - unexplained-events I can sleep again knowing that The Elephant's foot is weak to Kalashnikovs sindri42 I love that mold because humans made a mess we have no idea how to clean up and barely five years later we discover an entirely new kind of fungus that's just... eating it. Radiation levels are going down much faster than any of our models could predict, this stuff hasn't been found anyplace else in the world...

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Text - sanctusapparatus 6/6 Elephant's Foot: *releases horrifying levels of radiation fatal to most life* Heretofore unknown species of mold: delicious Finally, some good fucking food Source: unexplained-events

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Tagged: scary , wtf , history , tumblr , creepy , mold , true facts

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Dad Gets Fired For BS Reason, Plays The Long Game

This one definitely qualifies as a pro revenge. The dad apparently got fired for a total BS reason, but ended up being the one in charge in the long run, and on top of that was able to take the extended family on a cruise!

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/dromio05 • 22h + JOIN Dad gets fired for BS reasons, plays the long game, ends up in charge, takes the extended family on a cruise My dad had worked at the same company for almost 30 years before he was abruptly fired for compete bullshit. He was coordinating an upcoming meeting of people who had to fly in from around the country. One important participant resigned unexpectedly, so Dad cancelled the meeting via email and explained why. Apparently that counted as "improperly

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Text - This was about ten years ago, near the height of the recession. Dad was in his 50s, hadn't interviewed for a job since the early 1980s. He wasn't sure he'd ever find another job. My mom went back to work at a school to pay the bills, while Dad scraped together what he could doing some shitty online consulting gigs for basically minimum wage. They managed to keep their heads above water, but only barely.

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Text - Dad was out of work for a year and a half. He finally landed a job at a new company three states away, coincidentally about an hour away from where my wife and I lived and were expecting Dad's first grandchild. Mom and Dad moved to live about 20 minutes away from us. They had paid off the mortgage on their house, so they decided to keep it and rent it out, planning to retire there in a few years. New Company treated Dad very well. Better salary than he'd made at Old Company, good benefits

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Text - Dad mentioned a few things about his time at Old Company to his new bosses. Nothing confidential or anything, more like overall strengths and weaknesses. Of course, the story of how he got fired came out as well. It turns out that when you work at a company for over 25 years you learn a thing or two about how it works, and "cutting costs" by firing experienced employees can make your company vulnerable. New Company started to get very interested. They saw an important business opportunity

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Text - A couple years later, New Company bought Old Company. They were both big companies, and mergers of this size take time, but when the dust settled it was clear there were "redundancies" - divisions and products that both companies had that New Company only needed one of. They kept as many of Old Company's people as they could, and very few lost their jobs. Except, of course, for the people responsible for firing Dad. New Company put Dad in charge of the building he used to work in at Old C

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Tagged: employee , job , revenge , work , ridiculous , Reddit , win

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Student Gets Back at Thieving Roommate with Booby Trap USB

A bad roommate can make your home a living hell. When this student noticed their roommate was stealing their stuff, things got serious. This sort of strategy happens with food too, like this guy who ended up baking a cake full of habeneros.

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Text - r/ProRevenge Posted by 2 3 Awards f. u/rayrayrex 19 hours ago Think you can steal my stuff and get away with it? Good luck studying for exams with a broken laptop Back in my first year of college, I used to live in a residence on campus with 3 other dudes. Two of them were cool (shout out to Bdawg and Al) but the third named David had a nasty habit of taking things that weren't his and mysteriously forgetting that the objects had fallen into his possession.

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Text - Of the items he had stolen and were subsequently found in his room included food/snacks, notebooks, vapes, and earbuds (albeit cheap ones). We'd all complained to our RA, but since they were such small items, we were told that we should just have a "house meeting" and talk about it with David to have the problem fixed. We had two of those, where he claimed "it all looks so similar, how am I supposed to know which is mine?". Considering that we all kept our shit in our rooms this was obvio

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Text - Knowing nothing would happen unless I took action, I planned my revenge. I shelled out around $80 for something similar to this bad boi. It was a USB device that once plugged into an unsecured USB port, fried the computer by building a charge and dispersing it into the port, pretty much destroying the CPU among other parts. Now obviously I wasn't going to plant this anywhere, but I had to make it seem like this was a tool and not some sort of set-up. So I'd roped Bdawg and Al in on my pla

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Text - With them roped in, the last thing to do was wait and see if David had learned his lesson. It took all of 3 days, but expectedly David did not learn his lesson. I was at the library when this happened, but David had decided that this sexy USB would be the perfect addition to his collection of stolen wares, so he went into my room and took it. Big mistake. I got a Snapchat from Bdawg that David was going postal and I needed to get back asap. I high tailed it and when I got near our residen

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Text - Admittedly I should have held my composure better, but I laughed in that mofo's face. I told him that the USB was clearly labeled with my name on my desk in my room and I was using it to test whether my computer ports were secured from devices such as this. Screaming ensued from him, after which our RA showed up (heard that shit fest from down the hall) and asked what the hell was happening. I stayed quiet to let David attempt to lie his way out of this, but holy fuck the dumbshit kept to

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Text - When we got there and explained our stories, campus police had none of David's shit. They told him that 1. He cannot sue me since this was not a trap, but a security tool that was within my own living space, of which he had no right entering to **steal** from and 2. He was being relocated to the shitty single residences on the other side of campus, and if they caught wind of this again he was getting banned for life from res as well as receiving a Non-Academic offence (a nice little chat

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Text - The three of us enjoyed the rest of the semester with an extra bedroom for storage space (AND BEER PONG) which was definitely a win. As for David, I've only ever seen him in the cafeteria/library on occasion, sitting there studying. without his laptop. TL:DR - Shitty roommate steals our stuff and gets a shocking surprise that decimates his laptop.

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Tagged: justice , stealing , students , revenge , story , roommates , laptop , college , win , thief

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Dirtbag Customer Tries Returning Painting After 4 Months

It starts with this old client trying to dispute a cleared charge on an item they bought 4 months previously, lying about it, admitting it, then holding the transaction hostage. Where do such kind customers get it in their heads that this is the right thing to do? Who are these entitled people with their absurd audacity? It just never stops.

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Text - 10:50 am Did you charge back? No why would you do that Good morning, Send again PayPal balance -$154.28 Add money to resolve your outstanding balance. Add Funds I didn't like it Yes you did, you said "so cute exactly like i asked thx so much babe " I can send you the screenshot it's literally right up there

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Text - Ok I will be blocking u if u dont stop harassing me. Huh? Blocking me for harassing you? You scammed me for my work. You asked me to change the entire idea of the painting at least 4 times and I still restarted with a whole new picture that you were indecisive about again and again. YOU want a huge canvas, You wanted me to paint your stupid ugly family. I spent all the money on the paints and spent a whole week and a half on it and now you're suddenly charging me back for the whole thing

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Text - Excuse me? III be reporting u Take ur stupid painting IIl ship it back to you I want a refund A REFUND? AFTER YOU ALREADY GOT THE MONEY? Yep send me $155 and l'll send you back the money What is wrong with you

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Text - AnarchoNAP 9.1k points · 1 day ago O 3 You can dispute a chargeback. Send them these, the ordering messages, and anything else you got.

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Text - mayitasteyourpasta 18.0k points · 23 hours ago 2 4 e 3 E Have you called your bank? Isn't this technically fraud? wasispeedingofficer 11.1k points · 22 hours ago Yes, this behavior is fraudulent

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Tagged: customer service , wtf , customers , client , jerk , ridiculous , dumb , stupid

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Karen Manager Orders Employee to Print a Video File, Gets Fired

You don't need to know much about computers to understand that being asked to print a video file is a stupid endeavor, but this manager wasn't having it. Apparently this was the last thing on top of a pile of other complaints that led to her professional demise. Sometimes managers really don't know whats up, leading to stories like this employee who robbed a museum to prove a point. Here's one about an Aunt Karen who offered exposure for art payment and her scam fell apart.

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Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/deeba_ 11 hours ago No problem, I'll print that video for you! And while I'm at it, I might have you fired as well. oc L Hi all, This is my first submission to the sub and I hope you enjoy it! There's a tl:dr at the bottom. Context: This happened a few years ago, I was 18 and working as a receptionist for a community nursing service. As the youngest in the team by a long shot (the average age of employees being around 55-60), I was usually the one respo

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Text - Except for the Assistant Manager, Karen. This woman was the bane of my existence, she was 75+, recently came out of a 15 year retirement as a receptionist, and was armed with a certificate in Business Management from a 4 hour online course. She refused to learn basic computer skills such as Word or email, stating that she didn't need to learn them again when she had others to do it for her - namely me. In a 5 hour shift, I would spend 3 hours just fielding her tasks. Needless to say, this

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Text - This is roughly how the exchange went: Karen: Why do you only have one file, I sent two? Me: ...you want me to print an mp4? Karen: Isn't that what I asked? A monkey could do your job, and probably better at that (here, I'm pretty sure she laughed at her own joke). Me, desperate: Look, I don't think you understand - Karen: Don't try and teach me, don't forget I did your job for 20 years and now, I could have you fired. Already over it, and ready for some malicious compliance, me: Okay, we

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Text - Karen interrupts: I don't care how long it takes, I'm your boss and I've told you to do this. Once it's done you can move on to the other jobs. I'm grinning ear to ear at this point, I get back to my desk and send her an email summarising our conversation and explicitly clarifying she wanted me to print an mp4, to which I got a snarky reply. Perfect. I spent the next 4-5 hours, pausing the video every 2-3 frames, screenshotting it, pasting it to a word document and printing. The administr

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Text - Once complete, I took about 100 pages carefully held with clips to her desk and sweetly told her that I'd printed the other file. She looked smug, until she saw what was in front of her. Page after page of almost the same picture as the man moves through the video, some slightly blurry, all in full colour. She was furious, to say the least, but I was 1 hour overtime on my shift and Karen knew that would already cause her some issues, so she let me leave. Though, I knew it wasn't over yet.

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Text - Turns out, this was the straw that broke the camel's back as Karen had multiple reports against her from other staff members, and she had been driving HR insane with her own complaints. She lost her job the following week. The best part is that this happened on a Sunday, where I got double pay. I took some of that sweet overtime cash and brought in cupcakes to work once Karen was gone. I said it was an end of week treat, but we all knew what we were celebrating. The HR rep seemed to parti

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Tagged: boss , file , work , awesome , lol , computer , incompetence , story , funny , stupid , printer

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Man Downs Whole Cup Of Cuban Espresso, Teleports To 5th Dimension

Just in case you were thinking about shaking up your daily caffeine fix with something new and magical, this Cuban espresso story should absolutely serve as a cautionary tale to never underestimate, well, a Cuban espresso. This dude unknowingly purchased a fast pass to the fifth dimension as he downed a full Cuban espresso. Fair to say that he's humbled at this point.

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Text - 8 mins So, here's the story about how my day got absolutely destroyed just as it just began. Another guy from another company here at the Port and I get along quite well. I got here early to the port to get a head start on some of the days work, and he tells me, "Hey, I got some coffee in the shack over there if you want some".

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Text - Me not being the one to turn down a free cup of coffee, especially this early in the morning, I accept it. I go in there and drink the cup of coffee. That's where this gets bad. Now mind you, at this point in time, he

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Text - had a cup of coffee in his hand, and he said there was coffee in his office. I get in there and see the cup and I figure it's just an extra cup of coffee that someone didn't want or something. Holy shit, was I wrong. As I quench my thirst and down the last sip of the black, robust, but tastily sweet coffee, he comes into the shack with little shot glass sized plastic cups and says, "Hey, I forgot these in my tru-" mid sentence he notices me throwing the cup away and his mouth falls open.

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Text - styrofoam cup along with small, plastic demitasses to share with other people. You see where I'm going with this? As he sets the mini cups, demitasses, down on the table he starts to laugh and at that point I had begun to realize my whole perspective on this plane of existence, is about to be flipped upside down by the pure octane/adrenaline fucked Cuban deliciousness in my veins. I had just drank a whole cup of nothing but pure 100% Cubano espresso. To give you a perspective, a shot of C

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Text - It is now 10:30, almost a good 2 and a half hours later and my legs still won't stop twitching, I've pulled forty-two, 40 foot shipping containers across the port with my bare hands, and I can see and smell colors. O Like Comment Share

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Tagged: crazy , surprising , caffeine , coffee , ridiculous , espresso

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Unsafe Maneuvers that would Have OSHA Screaming

A whole lot of people brag about the unsafe crap they do and hold it as a point of pride. Sometimes it seems like the whole world is in a contest to see how precarious they get get their ladders and how spectacularly they can fail at safety. If you've ever had a boss that's made you do OSHA nightmare crap like this, welcome to the stupid club, and I guess congrats on being here to read this sentence.

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Tagged: scary , wtf , FAIL , safety first , lol , osha , safety , stupid

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Entitled Stepfamily Plays Holiday Manipulation Game, Revenge Ensues

It sounds like this entitled family got exactly what they deserved. Nothing quite brings the blood to a boil like a whole bunch of toxic manipulation. This family was certainly laying that on real thick. Gifts can really end up being their own kind of weapon. If you're looking for more juicy holiday content check out some of the most ridiculous requests that mall Santas received.

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Blue - r/ProRevenge u/EisForElbowsmash • 20h + Join 8 e 5 3 6 B 6 Mess with my christmas? Pardon me as I ruin yours I posted this in r/entitledparents and it was suggested that you might enjoy it here. I have edited it slightly to comply with the rule 9 for this sub, enjoy. TL:DR at end. This slow burn starts a full year and a half before my plan came into effect. Earlier in the year, my Dad quite sensibly suggested that with the size of our family Christmas party, we skip a generation with gift

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Text - Me - 28 year old (at the time) heavyweight mixed martial artist and strength coach AKA small time athlete working a day job to barely make rent in addition to training full time. Martha - Stepsister - 40ish, an aging mombie who's only assets are starting to sag too much for them to be assets anymore, leaving her with no other definable personality traits Jane - My oldest Niece 12, Stepsister's Daughter, imagine the most vapid tweenager stereotype you can and multiply it by 1000

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Text - Tim - My Oldest Nephew 9, Stepsister's Son, living proof that you're never to young to be an asshole Robert - Stepbrother - 36 Formerly cool dude who gave up on life when his kids were born, years later would gain back enough willpower and gumption to physically assault his wife Tammy - 6 Bro's daughter - Sweet and shy girl, terrified by my mere presence, the wisest of the bunch IMHO Bubba - 7 Bro's son - A generally nice kid who at this time was partway into evolving into an asshole afte

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Text - Tammy has brought a Nintendo DS and all the kids are struggling to see/play it together, so I foolishly offer to loan them mine to lighten the load. Tammy agrees to share with Jane, and Bubba agrees to share with Tim. Having stupidly deprived myself of my means to escape social obligations, I go to the living room to acquire that much older cure for not wanting to deal with other people; alcohol. Not even having had time to pour a dram, my trained ear picks up from the kids room the unmis

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Text - I shout for Martha, informing her that if she doesn't get in here to break things up before I count to 10, I would have a stern conversation with them. She turns up and separates the kids and I retrieve my DS. Instead of giving Tim a lesson on sharing and not hitting people, she proceeds to berate Bubba (the kid who was beaten) for not simply giving up the DS to her little piece of shit and making her son look bad. Jane simply lets out a tweenage sigh for the ages, and tosses the other DS

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Text - Robert - Hey Elbowsmash, while I really appreciated the gifts last year, you should really get something for the kids this year instead, Christmas is all about the chiillldlrreeeeen after all. Me - No, I turn up to chat with you and dad and Oma, I really don't give two shits about the kids. Robert - That's a mean thing to say about my kids, don't you care about them? Me - You cared about them so much that at the last party, you couldn't be bothered to break up a fight where your son was b

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Text - Me - He was literally beating your child. You didn't put pics on social media for a week because of the bruises. If thing 1 were an adult and had that kind of bad day, l'd have had a stern conversation with him and convinced him peacefully to lay on the floor until the police arrived. Robert - Well Stepsis and I were talking and we think you should buy stuff for the kids next year instead of us. Me - Well l'm happy not to buy you anything, but I'm not getting crap for the Martha's little

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Text - Me - Done Now l'm sure they wish it has been this simple, but unfortunately it wasn't and I certainly wouldn't have written such a long winded story if that were the payoff. Thanks for bearing with me so far, we're almost at the end. A few months later, about 2 weeks before xmas, I get an email form my dad with links to various toys (mostly from toys r us, which still existed at the time). When I call him back to ask what that's all about, this conversation ensues. Me: Hey whatsup? I got

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Text - Me: I don't buy for that generation remember? And I already sent you my contribution to Oma's cruise Dad: You need to get stuff for the kids, don't you want them to look up to you as an uncle? Me: Not really. Also what part of my life suggests to you that they ought to look up to me as any sort of role model? You'd be better of telling them to grow up to be rockstars. Dad: Not the point, christmas is about the chiildreeeeennnnnnn, if you don't get them this stuff, I won't put your name on

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Text - Dad: Will you get the stuff or not? Me: Well guess my name isn't going on the card then, this will cost me more than a month's rent, so you can take this list and grease it up real nice... Dad (Interrupting): Calm your jets, this is what they want. Me: I'll get them a token something but l'm not taking out a loan. Dad: Fine, just make it something they enjoy Me: If what I get doesn't put a giant smile on each and every one of their faces, I'll buy you dinner at a steakhouse of your choosi

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Text - So, Christmas rolls around and my wife and I have bought not just 1, but 4 gifts for each of the little ones, and wrapped them all beautifully. My dad (correctly) assumes its all probably from the dollar store, but it's nicely wrapped and he gives me a look of approval as I place it under the tree. My wife and I schmooze for a bit and then suggest that since we brought a several gifts for each of the kids, why don't they open one each before dinner so they have something to do while they

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Text - I may never know if they opened the rest of their presents (everyone got a copy of each of the other's gifts, you know, for fairness, plus a bunch of gross and mildly inappropriate temporary tattoos). In the confusion none of them noticed either me or my wife leaving. I'm certain at some point they did notice the pretty gold envelope addressed to "The parents" on the tree. Inside was a very pretty card, blank but for the following note: "This was a warning shot from off the top of my head

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Text - I never bought anyone steak dinner, however I enjoyed several more Christmas's with my Oma and Dad until they passed and I stopped seeing that side of the family at all. No mention of this incident, or gifts for the kids was ever made again. TL:DR - Entitled stepfamily manipulate my dad into coercing me into buying each of their crotch goblins gifts even though I'm not supposed to buy for that generation. They get what they fucking deserve (what they deserve being airhorns, a 36 multicolo

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Tagged: christmas , kids , revenge , parenting , ridiculous , Reddit , funny , holidays

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Auntie Karen Offers Exposure As Payment, Gets Called Out, Scam Falls Apart

Aunt "Karen" (or Jay, but we thought Karen could be more fitting) came at this situation with all kinds of shady baggage and aggressive entitlement. This translated to her not being willing to pay family for their hard work on art pieces. On top of that, she was cleaning out credit cards, and racking up lavish expenses. In the end, Aunt Karen's greedy antics catch up with her.

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Text - tl;dr: Aunt Jay (by marriage) asked me to do several pieces of art for her real estate business. I'm in school and am positive I told her that I would need to be paid. I'm also positive she agreed to pay me. My major mistake for not agreeing to terms up front but she still tried to take advantage of me. She was difficult, refused to accept drafts then hated the finished products. I was out tons of time and money and tried to wash my hands of her. Out of the blue she wanted me to fly out (

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Text - That was Monday, first thing Tuesday morning I had a meeting with my schools licensing/legal advisor and she helped me draft a letter stating since no legal transfer of ownership had taken place, Aunt Jay was to cease using any of my work immediately. We also wrote up and invoice for my time, materials and shipping up to that point (with a very friendly 15% family discount) and that if Aunt Jay were to work out a payment plan she could continue using the finished pieces. I emailed them to

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Text - I was very sincerely trying to handle this like an adult and not involve my parents or my uncle (dad's brother and Aunt Jays husband) but maybe 1.5 hours after I pressed send on the email my mom called me. It basically went like this: Mom: "Aunt Jay just called and completely chewed me out over what an ungrateful brat you are. What's going on?"

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Text - I explained the situation to her and apologized because I really was trying to handle it myself. She was apoplectic mad and revealed to me that Aunt Jay had been pulling this kind of bullshit ever since she married my uncle. Mom really wished I would have called when this first started and she would have advised to me avoid ever doing anything with her. I said I was sorry that I was in so deep but I felt like I was handling it ok. My Mom asked if it was ok if she got involved, I said that

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Text - Aunt Jay got her real estate license last fall and had been telling my uncle that she was a "lock" to be a franchisee (or whatever you call it in real estate) for a nation wide real estate company. I'll just say ProMax. My mom called a local ProMax office and asked who she should talk to because one of their agents had commissioned several thousands of dollars worth of professional promotional materials and was refusing to pay. She was put on the phone with whoever was the highest "rankin

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Text - Aunt Jay was using this multi million dollar real estate companies name and materials when she wasn't even part of the company! I mean this is a huge deal and she could literally be facing years of legal trouble and since real estate licensing is a fairly small world in our state, she is almost certainly going to lose her license if ProMax pursues her. I honestly don't know enough about real estate to know how or even if she was making this work or if she was just biding her time until th

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Text - But it gets even deeper than this. Aunt Jay had just bought a huge new Cadillac Escalade over Christmas and since she said it was for work, she told my uncle that ProMax was helping her finance it. My dad called my uncle (his brother) to let him know what my mom had found out as a heads up. My uncle freaked out because obviously if she wasn't part of ProMax then she wasn't getting generous financing terms from ProMax on her new $80000 dollar car. My uncle ran his credit and it looks like

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Text - So not only was Aunt Jay screwing me over, she was in a round about way stealing using the established name of a multimillion dollar company....but she committed identity theft against her own husband to! And now she's been exposed because she refused to pay me. My uncle told my dad that he's known that last straw has been coming for a long time and this was a last log. He's contacting divorce attorneys immediately in hopes he doesn't get taken down in case ProMax decides to pursue real l

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Text - Basically, Aunt Jay is screwed in every way imaginable. I've never been one to gloat and I always take pity on people who are having a hard time...I'm not this time. 16.7k 1.1k 1 Share Award

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Tagged: scammer , entitlement , satisfying , revenge , awesome , aunt , Reddit , karen

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Weird Al Tells A Wholesome Life Story

In this day and age, if you don't like Weird Al, frankly there's no hope for you. The man is a national treasure. What can't he do? He's hilarious, makes great music, and here he is telling a wholesome story from his past. Patrice Y must be sunken with regret, having missed a chance with the person who would become one of the most beloved living Americans.

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Text - "Weird Al" Yankovic O 4m · I was 12 years old in the 9th grade - younger than my classmates, and (as you may possibly be able to imagine) pretty awkward, shy and nerdy. And I had a crush on Patrice Y., the girl who sat directly in front of me in math class (because the seats were all arranged in alphabetical order for some arbitrary reason). Of course, Patrice would never in a million years have suspected that I had a crush on her, because like I explained. painfully shy. But one day I de

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Text - picture a little bit better than everyone else's, just to be subtle about my feelings.) Anyway, everybody seemed to like their drawings, and, as you may have predicted, my love life remained completely dormant for the next several years. Okay, fast forward nearly half a century later. I'm checking my Twitter feed and I see some woman on there talking about how she used to sit in front of me during 9th grade math class. Being slightly less shy at my current advanced age, I decided to follo

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Tagged: aww , weird al , wholesome , Weird Al Yankovic , nice , story

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Tumblr Thread: Humans Are Weird, Durable Space Orcs

One Tumblr thread leads into another, and they're all focused on honoring the strangeness of human beings. It's a fun shift in perspective to consider an alien fleet arriving, chatting it up with some humans, and ultimately being impressed/baffled over how humans pull off the crazy stuff that they do. Maybe aliens are the normal ones.

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Text - Text - arcticfoxbear Humans Are Weird So there has been a bit of "what if humans were the weird ones?" going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? What

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Text - crazy-pages Alien: "I'm sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?" Human: "Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range." Alien: I'm sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?" Human: "Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy." Other human: "Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -2

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Text - Text - val-tashoth "You're telling me that you have.. settlements. On islands with active volcanism?" "Well, yeah. I'm not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it's kind of a tourist attraction." "What, the molten rock?" "Well, yeah! It's not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano-" "You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?" "Shit, man, we swim in th

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Text - Text - wuestenratte Sounds like the "Damned" trilogy by Alan Dean Foster. the-grand-author "And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?" "Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about." "Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?" well, actually.." 44 what?" .we kinda....... sent. people.." .what?"

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Text - Text - "we sent-" "no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent... HUMANS... to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?" "y-yeah" "and they didnt.. die?" "Well the first few did" "PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?" burntcopper 'But surely you have records of volcanic activity doing tremendous damage to human settlements.' 'Yep. Pompeii is legendary. Entire cities went. Towns buried under lava, peoples' brains boiled in the first rush of heat, loa

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Text - Text - "Are you seriously telling me this volcano is legendary for killing several urban conurbations and you built on top of it AGAIN?" "In our defence it hasn't actually done it since.' What about earthquake-prone areas? Tell me you're at least vaguely sensible about those. "Oh yeah. After the first major earthquake that flattens a city, we build them better.' 159,505 notes

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Text - Text - iztarshi: Inspired by various tumblr posts. Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human. Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster. You would be amazed what hu

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Text - Text - Humans are adorable. teaboot: Supporting evidence: 1. Humans say'ow', even if they haven't actually been hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren't sure yet. 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. T

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Text - Text - 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes! 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young! 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are dee

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Text - Photography - It's funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest. I want to see a sci fi universe where we're actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

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Text - Text - How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare "animal" races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth? Like that old story "they're made of meat," only we're scarier. HOLY SHIT THEY

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Text - Text - WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES. HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN. HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT

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Text - Text - More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote heartiness - but compared to a human., a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There's mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until i

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Text - Text - • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that's not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't necessarily a career-ending injury for a human. • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity. recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren't pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they're highly

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Text - Text - In essence, we'd be Space Orcs. ia LikeAlangh.org I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stuff and running with it right? Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place. We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bot

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Text - • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them. • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet. Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking terrifying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck it's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to hav

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Text - WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you split! again! but it keeps following you. always in the corner of your eye. until you just die we are scary motherfuckers ok

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Tagged: tumblr , creative , awesome , humans , humanity , ridiculous , biology

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Trash-tacular Moments of Garbage Behavior

Say the nice things you want to about planet earth, this place is still abounding with selfish behavior, dizzying mediocrity and all kinds of trashy moments riddled with garbage-ness. There's folks parking on top of grave sites, stealing stuff from kids, and many more trashy moments that belong on garbage island.

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Finger - I met him on facebook 9 years ago. I knew that he was married with kids because his wife was always tagging him. I dated him anyway. Other sidechicks came and left because of his wife but i stayed with him. Last month he finally broke up with his wife. Today he proposed to me and i said yes. My advise to other women is that you will never be a side chick forever. Pon't lose hope your time will come. Pon't ignore inbox messages of married men on Facebook.

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Yellow - IF YOU SHIT YOURSECF DONT WAS H YOUR CLOTHS IN THE SAME WASHER AS EVERYONE You PIECE OF SHITI INCONSIDERATE FucK WHO RAISEP You?

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Handwriting - TULIP STRET STOP If You Prk :In mypot I'll Break %our FuckIng Windows Have a nice Day

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Twig - Beware of Dog! This dog tends to wander and cheat on his wife. The dog answers to Steve found return to if This dog should NOT be trusted!!

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Text - n. Dec 7 Holiday lights wiring cut twice. I'm so disappointed in whoever feels that they think it's a nice thing to do to a neighbor by repeatedly cutting the wires to our holiday lights. It's been a very difficult year and I feel dismayed that someone feels like they need to trespass on our property and vandalize our lights. Disgraceful behavior. Like Q 54 22

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Text - 42 CG Caroline > Today 8:47 PM I miss u I miss you too Sorry that was apart of a drinking game | am sorry

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Text - To the GUY with ZERO children who parked in the undercover PRAM PARKING ONLY bay to keep cool when it was 40C the other day-I hope you enjoyed the note I left you written with the shitty nappy smeared on your drivers door I specifically reserved it after using the parent changerooms after finally finding a bay in the hot sun far from the centre entry. CAN I HEAR A FUCK YEAH FROM THOSE PARENTS OUT THERE WHO DEAL WITH THESE ASSHOLES ALL THE TIME?!!! DO 31 61 Comments Like לו Comment Share T

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Text - ... Life is short. Go head and cheat on him sweetheart. 7:24 PM 11/26/20 - Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 25 Likes 5d ... Replying to @ can i cheat on her 01 15d ... NO

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Motor vehicle - NO PARKING ODGE YOU'LL GET THE D LATER

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Handwriting - I do have Covid-19 So Clean this toble EMfectively! thinks

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Automotive design - LETS GET DRUNK SO I CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IOU!

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Text - day at 12:42 PM BPSS. LMAOO SOME LITTLE KID WAS HOLDING A PS5 I SNATCHED IT OUT OF HIS HAND AND WENT HOME WITH IT 2020 finally did me some good A made a child cry but do I have regrets? No I do not

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Leg - a Lives in O 18 miles away (Outdoors (Working out) (Art) Climate ChOkay what the fuck smiley rip gramps but my ass looks cute there

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Product - 4:11 4:11 LTE I stay wrecking cars PSA Inecer'said I was proud of wredking cars, It's stupid asi. I just cheated my license test a never really learnedthe rules or the road toh CUALITY ONTE Send a chat Send a chat

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Text - They had to make a sign... What actually happened... for this sign to be needed? NO HORSES ALLOWED IN BATHROOMS ANYONE FOUND WASHING A HORSE IN THIS BATHROOM WILL BE CHARGED CLEANING COSTS

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Games - Getting a new couch today KETCHUP

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Electronic device - th Walmart Supercenter - Medford 49 ndowt Save Time, Swipe No gldy e VISA Dude are you freaking kidding me...

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Text - what's .. happening Angelina County 1h · A Saw this at the Dollar store in Lufkin on Timberline Dr. aaa We're Open aking a = Exempt rchase? Maning Save Time By stering Online at yDollar.com/TEP your checkout code. e to Kegter Oe! Aociate for Ausistance LYODOLIAN Sorry for the inconverence, but we only have 3 buggies due to the Customers taking the honie WE ID Tobacco &Alcohol Purchases Open nksgiving Day Because We Care y, November 26 .6. am pm "elcome to OUT ILYODOLLAR

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Pink - 1d• : How did I miss hearing about this until now? The Winter wonderland event at Noarlunga costing $30+ per head to enter. I can't stop laughing.. SNITAS MORSIO book

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24. Clear boots on a hot day. Not a great idea.

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Text - 1 Search .ll 13:45 9 43% Home Favourites Recent -0- - ana vitwS 2 h. 0 Hey group I just wondered if anyone was selling any cheap puppies as l'm thinking of getting one for Christmas for my daughter. I'm not too bothered about the breed though as she will probably be bored of it by mid January and I'll have to end up selling it on Facebook to get some money back important for her to have some entertainment over the festive period and puppies are Still though, I think it's so00000 cute and

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Tagged: insane , trashy , wtf , cringe , garbage , crime , selfish , ridiculous , dumb , funny

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Mortician on Dating App Gets Slammed With Puns

For most people, dating is about being suave and trying to subtly insinuate how much money you make. But for the rest of us, it's all about how many bone-shatteringly clever and stupid puns you can shoehorn into a short conversation. And if someone mentions that they have an out-of-the-ordinary job? All aboard the pun train, choo choo. Tinder is known to get some cheesy and stupid moments, but hey man everyone's doing their best. For fans of wordplay and cleverness, here are technically accurate moments that aren't exactly wrong.

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Purple - As a comedian I am very much resisting the urge to make so many deaths puns right now. Must mean I like you. Oh my god no let rip I love hearing jokes about it So is that why you're on hinge? Cause you think romance is dead? You should let me stay the night and practice while I sleep. Might get stiff though. I'm 5"10, Im glad my height doesn't matter to you since you like 6 feet under. Since we are in a pandemic don't come on a date with me if you are coffin

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Purple - If you wanna impress me you need to urn it These puns dont get better.they only get hearse Dating me is like being read your last rites. Soon l'll take you to heaven. Hahah amazing! Thank you I could have kept going but l'm cooking dinner. But I can understand if you are dying to hear another one... Ok. I was fired from being a grave digger cause I lost the plot. I can only date someone that shares my corpse values

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Text - Babe when you walked by it stopped my heart. Can you please call 000 I know you meet a lot of Mummies but I can be your Daddy. There's three things certain in life, death, taxes and me buying you a drink Can I embalm you? Because I want to enjoy your body all night I'm glad you're a bottom because I prefer to be autopsy How you made that corpse expel gas blew me away After we spread these ashes can I spread your legs? Babe you don't need that crematorium to light a fire in my heart

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Text - Wow Take off those clothes and show me your bereaver Haha look you did say let it rip. Yeah but I didn't think you'd have that many I was thinking one or two When I get on a roll it's very hard to stop haha. Dunno if this makes you want to date me or block me. Either way I had fun!

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Text - Haha no I liked them, I don't think I've ever had someone put in so much effort before Your pleasure is my leisure. Hahah So was that enough to score a coffee with the pretty lady? No? Sorry for your loss. Sent

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Tagged: Death , clever , puns , one liners , lol , dumb , funny , stupid , wordplay

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Weird and Dumb Stuff People Tried Selling Online

If it seems like it might even have just a hint of value, people will try selling it online. Two lawnmowers welded together? Sure. A "vintage" bag of Doritos that someone forgot in their cabinet? Absolutely. There's no end to the weird stuff people will try to sell online.

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Organism - 4 viewed per hour 1 of 4 Rare Collectible Tyrian Lannister Shaped Jalapeño Cheeto US $350.00 +Free Shipping or Best Offer

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Joint - Teddy Colorado Springs Yard Sale Group 23 mins · Beat me up to impress your girl $250 O Colorado Springs, CO Does the woman in your life think you're a little bitch? Prove her wrong by punching me in the face. I'll come by wherever you are and hit on her. That's when you give me the ol' Marty McFly and lay me out right in front of her. Half upfront. Other half due after we cause an inevitable scene.

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Organism - Yesterday at 4:26 PM · Bolts that way alot $80 O Eagle, ID Big ass bolts make a offer... 20 Comments O Like Comment

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Product - JenniferMillsStore 2 sales Apple Watch For Poor People $999.99

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Toy - 8:52 b Joe Exotic Nutcracker $30 Listed 6 days ago in Send seller a message Is this still available? Send II

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Skateboard - Marketplace > Musical Instruments Unfinished Custom Skateboard lapsteel guitar Uniondale, NY - 2 days ago - e $40 Unfinished Custom Skateboard lapsteel guitar Not much more needed to complete, perfect project for handy musician. Less Condition Used - Good Front Street ate Seller Information Send seller a message Is this available? Send O Message Save Share 1992 KawasakKI 550 Jett ski LiftBoard electric longboard FIIK mini electric skateboard DIY el

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Pattern - movie money (st anthony) O craigslist - Map data o OpenStreetMap (google map) my stupid kid took this movie money when we sold a pool on craigslist if you want it it's free l'll put it in my mailbox. email me for the address Northeast University Aver

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Product - Marketplace Jewelry & Accessories Extremely full ketchup packet Calgary. AB - over a week ago O $10 Very full ketchup packet Seller Information HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP AX TOMATIS Send seller a message Is this available? Send Message A Save Share

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Text - Livermore garage sales What are you selling? Photo From Notifications 3 hrs · O My daughter just lost her last tooth, and so now we have the full set. $100 for the set, or $15 each. I would also be willing to trade the set for a used mattress and 2 dozen eggs. $100 LIVERMORE, CA MESSAGE Set Of Teeth 61 46 Comments · 3 Shares O Like Comment Share

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$63 AM 4% Stool $200 Listed 4 days ago in AB Send seller a message Is this still available? Send ... Message Save Share More

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Text - A ebay.com Retail Stores > Other Retail Store Ads 1/2 BLOCKBUSTER MEMBERSHIP CARD Vintage Blockbuster Membership Card $2,000.00 Ships from United States Buy It Now Add to cart or Best Offer www.blockbuster.com

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Photography - A 1/1 Grand Theft Auto V PS3 Wrapped Up never used $80

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Rare Goldfish Cracker Conjoined $15.00 · eBay Sponsored O +$1.18 tax and $3.80 shipping VISIT SITE

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Text - WALr DISNEY A. CLASSIC Beauty and the Wianer Of 2 Academy Awards $26 99 BIG SAVINGS! SAVE UP TO SIO VALARLI COUPONS SIDE SEE DOWNY OR OHEER FOR $3 INSTANT SAVINGS ON THIS CASSETTE 08/06/201 A 1/10 Walt Disney Black Diamond Classic Beauty& The Beast Sealed 1992 $19,995.00

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Face - Campbell soup boy $40 ***FOR SALE*** Campbell soup boy $40 obo Campo CONDENE fell

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Vehicle - l Verizon LTE 5:42 PM 46% O Double pushmower runs $200 Runs pretty good $200 or best offer don't need it so l'm selling it as is CRTIMN ..... ..... Like Comment Share

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Hair - 12 hrs · * If anyone misses Disney! I'll sell them a $20 (Disney prices) Disney theme lunch!! Order now while supplies last

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Child - (9) Baby Bunny, can drink and pee $1,321.84+ 2 available

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Green - Dishes $25 Listed 43 minutes ago ind Be the first to messade

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Text - 8:05 a0 all 89% facebook Vintage Autographed photo of Jesus MESSAGE $1,000,000 • 040202 I have a one of a kind autographed picture of Jesus, dont lowball me, i know what i have Slass you.

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Text - Yankee With No Brim Condition: New without tags Time left 6d 02h Thunday. 601PM Current bid US $22.50 [ 20 bids ] Place bid Enter US s23.00 er more Add to Vanohist 15 watchers Ships from United States Shipping $9.90 Expedited Shipping I 2eadetala hem location Fleeteood. North Carolina, United States Ships to: Unted Ses asca Delivery. Estimated between Tue. Apr. 21 and Thu. Apr. 23 to t Payments: Ay VISA PayPal CREDIT Special financing avalable beetia I asterma Earn up to 5x points when yo

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Hand - му County Flea Market: Wanted, For Sale or Free 32 mins • Handmade doorstop $1,200 o 15210 High quality handmade door stop. Perfect for stopping doors.

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Land vehicle - Used Mercedes-Benz SLR coup x autoscout24.com/offers/mercedes-benz-sir-mclaren-gasoline-blue-1c319fa1-0ac2-7d34-e053-e350040a5903?cldtidx=1&c < Back Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren Coupe € 3,000.- 9,000 km O 03/2006 460 kW 6 Campolongo maggi Send E- 1/3 Details Contact

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Tagged: craigslist , FAIL , buy , dumb , funny , weird , money , stupid , selling

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Hilarious, Creepy, And Cursed Glitches From The Sims

Nothing like some throwback glitches from the ever wacky and cursed world of The Sims to make you want to fire the game back up again. Many of us have devoted ungodly amounts of time to crafting all kinds of luxury palaces, cursed abominations, etc. in The Sims. Sometimes as you're playing the game though, things just don't quite add up, and the glitches end up churning out straight up waking nightmares.

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Ear - thefruitythebooty: id cry too if that was living in my house

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Table - alexsuareasy: simsgonewrong: My kid was having a pool party and the Grim reaper showed up and took the whole plate of grilled salmon rude

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Human - Everyone is freaking out about the fire except little Damon.

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Text - Congratulations on getting married! Anabella Horse sent you a Dancing Bunny that can be found in your family inventory. Two things are wrong with this. A) A horse sent me a wedding present. B) It's a dancing bunny.

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Floor - onlyfollowbadblogs: you are what you eat

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Dress - BOOO0- Aumeo ake Sodal Myn Fun kevlived: sim caught cheating by his girlfriend

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Fun - thefruitythebooty: simsgonewrong | Come, sit down. his eyes say bedroom', but his hands say 'hospital"

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Technology - risarampant So I was playing the sims and it was all cool right? Then I see something moving across the floor. IS THAT A FUCKING PLATEI? THINKING ABOUT THE DISHWASHERI?

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Finger food - simsgonewrong: | He dreams to be back on a plate

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Shoulder - fugdamatriarchy: verypenmuchjoneswow: If I can't bring the spoon to my face THEN I'LL BRING MY FACE TO THE SPOON beautiful 310,603 notes

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Photograph - It took my sim 16 hours to put out this fire because he stopped to celebrate his birthday.

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Photograph - simsgonewrong so this woman died at my sims party so I had my sim take a selfle with the grim reaper

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Green - 88Sims 3 WUT 03/28/12(Wed)01:49 No.134100234 [] The carpool will arrive in one hour." Sim takes 7 hours to reach street (running) Sim passes out twice, pisses himself once along the way finishes last hour of shift, heads home walks the whole way back (~14 hr trip) walks through front door The carpool will arrive in one hour." crablouse: bastardfact: The daily grind merciless god. 117,002 notes ...

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Elbow - abluejeep-ablackimpala: couragekay: cornfuse: My sims decided to make out after they ate pie. oh shit I thought they were eating eachother

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Winter - My sim's son built this after his dog died. I don't think he was handling it very well...

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Finger - EA I had two very attractive Sims and they had a baby. But the kid was hideous - so I had it taken away. Then they had a daughter, and she was beautiful; but once she started school, she brought a friend home. It was the first kid.

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Product - PLAYS FOUR GAMES OF CHESS QUALIFICATIONS FOR SURGEON

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Text - darecrowavis: simsgonewrong: So one of my sims died, and the grim reaper turned up to do his business, but then another of my sims went into labour and the grim reaper started freaking the hell out "THIS IS NOT MY JOB. THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF MY JOB."

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Interior design - gotta go fast #nsfw #sims 3 #sims #the sims #the sims 3 #scopophobia O7 months ago V 5185 s + Share

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Tagged: Video Game Coverage , cursed images , ridiculous , video games , video game logic , The Sims , funny

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Barista Wrongly Assumes Customer Wants Fist Bump

Man, all this technology that we have infused with our daily existence can go on to inspire some moments of hilarious confusion. Basically, the technology can end up accomplishing the opposite intended effect. In this case, we have a customer who was just out there trying to make use of their fancy Apple watch, and ended up in the middle of a fist bump exchange that they never wanted a part in, in the first place. Oh well, at least we got the nice little fail out of it.

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Text - reason, I would always mess up some way or another in the easiest position ever (either by being excruciatingly awkward with the customer or ringing something in wrong), so mistakes would weigh heavily on me. But even though cute, 17 year old me would internally cry at my terribly awkward social skills and inability to function normally, l'd have to renew my big, trembling smile and brittle enthusiasm for every incoming customer. I always put my best cheerful foot forward when greeting cu

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Text - One morning after the 6:00am-9:00am rush passed, I was on drive by myself. Things were slowing down, and I felt quite good about not messing up so far in my shift. So I was excited to meet the next drive customer. Usually, in response to my cheery greetings (or any greeting for that matter), customers respond with at least a "Hello" or "how's it going?" as per normal human etiquette. Customer X did not; Customer X wrote his own rules. He rolls up to the window and I greet him with a cute

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Text - bump for some reason. So I go with it, I fist-bump him, which makes him give me a confused look. I get confused too so I cup my hands under his fist again, thinking "maybe he wants a fist-bump before giving me his change". He then proceeds to open his fist, palm up, to reveal that nothing was there, and then holds his hand in a fist again. For some reason this makes me think he's performing the magic trick where the magician shows you there's nothing in his hand and then he makes somethin

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Text - I immediately ducked beneath the window in embarrassment and laughed awkwardly and loudly at myself. I heard him chuckle while driving off as I died on the floor. TL;DR I didn't understand why a customer was wordlessly offering me his fist, so I fist-bumped him multiple times, not realizing he just wanted to pay with his Apple watch. Edit: I usually find these edit thank-you endnotes cheesy and annoying, but just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the upvotes and awards upvotes l've

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Tagged: customer service , FAIL , Awkward , tifu , Reddit , funny

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2021/01/10