Are you all ready to play a game? You’ve played it before; many times, in fact. Every time you log on, the game starts over. And when you log off, it’s always waiting for you. A lot of us like to play the offline version too. Sometimes it's a challenge; other times, it’s painfully easy. Some say it gets harder every year. Don’t worry; I’ve got all the tips and tricks. That’s right, it’s time to play another round of America’s favorite game…porn roulette. Scroll your feed, or maybe the comments of a viral tweet for about thirty seconds and chances are, you’ll see something sexual. I literally just tried it, right now before typing this sentence, and within 20 seconds, I saw on my Twitter feed: “i may need to see the booty” and “I would suck dick rn but not necessarily in a horny way. It would be more about the craft.” It really has become a game, and we’re all forced to play. What porn are you going to see today? What new fetish or kink will you develop?  Will it be something meme-worthy with tons of Rule 34, like Mommy Long Legs? Or maybe something classic, like girls sitting on cakes and farting? Maybe a Default Wisdom favorite, sissy hypno? It could be furries, or rape, or diapers, or DaddyDom/LittleGirl. If God is merciful, you’ll just get a breeding kink and that’ll be the end of it.
I know this goes without saying but very young children use the same internet as you, every single day. I’ve had female friends tell me stories of flashing perverted men on Chatroulette when they were twelve years old. They were doing erotic role play in chat rooms even younger than that. (Someone has all that data, btw.) And now, seeing the kinkiest content literally designed to hit both the arousal and WTF buttons in your brain isn’t just easy; it’s nearly a requirement. A Surplus of KinkIt was a cliche years before Avenue Q. Kids' shows make jokes about it. Offline, “sex sells” is a thoroughly-beaten dead horse. An episode of television for adults that ends with no sex is like a Shyamalanian twist. And It’s never really that shocking to see something graphic and perverted on social media, but more of us are starting to wonder: Why is everyone so kinky? As attention spans drop more every day, the algorithm rewards content that will instantly shock a reaction and trigger a response. Brands know this intimately, and like your favorite shitposter, they’ll tweet out something R-Rated because they know it will be absurd and people will share it. McDonald’s wants to eat your ass, and Burger King will record it and snapchat your boyfriend who has a cuckold fetish. Our memes are kinkier than ever. “White Woman Fuck Dogs” is already dead. Girls once popular on Teens React videos are growing up to make “Step sis stuck in washing machine” memes on TikTok. As of right now, “stepbro and stepsis memes” have over 1.9 billion views on the app. Everyone’s seen the petite white porn star on a couch surrounded by five black guys, or one of its absurdist variations, at some point.
It’s certainly not a new thing; remember Swiggity Swooty? Or Pedo Bear? Sexual memes have always been a valued part of -chan and Tumblr culture, but have they gone mainstream? In the past, it seemed like the point of these memes was the carnal darkness hidden deep within us, brought to the surface for a brief moment. Now the point is more like, “Yup, lots of people are turned on by that! That’s hilarious.” Then you see another, and another. The repetition creates familiarity, and then acceptance, which leads to attachment. And from there, it’s a quick jump to wanting more. Imagine if a drug dealer, instead of giving you your first hit for free, gave you ALL of your hits for free, and you had to take a few hits every time you wanted to talk to another person. Your only real options are:
In the past, teenagers had to seek out adult content, even online. I might be misremembering, but I don’t think there was much porn on Myspace. You had to know where to look. When I was in middle school, my mom had a parental filter on my internet, and a large majority of adult sites were flagged. It was almost as frustrating as the fact that it would block all sites after 6:30pm. Once I got my first new computer in high school, I was free from the filter. And the late nights of scrolling 4chan and Tumblr began. (Unrelated fact: I discovered I was trans right around 13!) Teenage Girls on TumblrAnyway… many before have singled out 4chan and Tumblr as being integral to our current era of internet culture, and existing on an axis of the masculine side of the internet and the feminine, respectively. The fallout and impact of chan culture online is slowly becoming more understood, certainly not by the mainstream media, but at least by internet thinkers and cultural critics. It’s a project that’s had a lot more archiving. The history there isn’t lost. Tumblr, on the other hand, is only just starting to get its true archeologists, and they have a much harder go of it, considering the massive amount of tumblr blogs completely nuked from existence, most of them in 2018, when they banned all the “adult content.” What made Tumblr special was its specificity. The reason it was so popular was that it served a function similar to Reddit, where you could make micro-communities dedicated to the most niche thing you could possibly think of, with a much more “underground or “artistic” vibe that maintained the “blog” style of sites like LiveJournal that were especially popular with girls. Every kind of fandom, whether it was dedicated to anorexia, or a specific show, comic or book, and yes, every single possible niche kink that any human could ever had was a single search away. Say, for example, you were a teenage girl that had a strange fixation on a specific romantic pairing of a (step)brother and (step)sister on a Disney Channel show. Well, you definitely can’t tell any of your IRL friends about it. But, just go on Tumblr, and you’ll find not only thousands of other people with the same fixation as you, but actually dozens and possibly hundreds of Tumblr blogs dedicated to talking about, drawing fan art of, and writing fan-fiction focused on that ship and absolutely nothing else.
Life With Derek was a Canadian show for older kids and young teens, where the titular “she let me hit cuz I’m goofy” Derek regularly terrorized his over-achieving step-sister Casey.  niggas just catching the strangeness of Life with Derek?? damn i thought we was all watching for the implied incest On Twitter and TikTok, many Millennials have posted, usually with fond nostalgia, about the very obvious sexual tension, in Greg and Marcia Brady fashion, between the actors on the show. Many young shippers have fond memories of imagining the possible romantic (and kinky!) directions the relationship could have gone. Turns out the sexual chemistry wasn’t an accident. And it wasn’t close to the only show where the most popular romantic pairing was an incestuous one. Derek and Casey joined the likes of Alex and Justin on Wizards of Waverly Place, and Sam and Dean on Supernatural, where the “Wincest” ship between the two brothers became so popular that a late episode of the show has the actual characters become aware of people that write tons of fan-fiction of them hooking up. I can’t say that these communities gave an entire generation of teenage (mostly) girls an incest kink, but it certainly didn’t help. Life With Derek walked so Game of Thrones could run. When you’re probably often lonely, hormonal, sexually inexperienced and given total free reign of the internet, and a community of thousands of like-minded individuals telling you “No! You’re not weird. We like this thing too and it’s AWESOME!” is going to have an impact on your psyche. And it might make you like the thing way more than you ever would have if it was just a private thought that you mulled over for a month or two. Especially if you start writing fan-fiction, that is, delivering content that other fans enjoy and praise you for. You’re such a talented writer, your smut scenes are so hot, you have to keep writing them. And you gotta find even kinkier ways to excite your readers. Well, it just so happens there are so many extremely kinky things available on the very site you’re already a dedicated member of! Daddy Dom/Little Girl
Daddy Dom/Little Girl, or DD/lg, is a subset of Caregiver/Little or CGL kink, which is itself a subset of BDSM kink. It’s a synthesis of the broader “Daddy Kink” or “Little Kink.” Often combining elements of age-play, DD/lg can be exclusively used during online erotic role play or in the bedroom, or a couple can pattern many aspects, even outside the sexual, around the dynamic. It’s much more popular with heterosexual women than heterosexual men. It’s a kink characterized not only by age regression on the part of the woman, immersing herself in the identity of a teenage or often even much younger girl, but also by the caring and sensual power her “Daddy” has over her. This community is a bottomless hole, and you can keep digging deeper and deeper. There are women well in their 30s and 40s who will never find their ways out. Even with all the most obviously explicit and porn-filled blogs deleted, there still remains plenty of artifacts of the DD/lg fandom on Tumblr. There’s a matchmaking blog to connect Littles with potential Daddies. There are fights between the sexual DD/lgs and the “safe for work DD/lgs” who think the sexual ones give Littles and Caretakers a bad name. There are blogs dedicated to collecting cringy DD/lg posts. That’s usually a subset of what’s known as the “anti” community, which is dedicated to kink-shaming. They are hated by the “anti-anti” community, which is dedicated to shaming kink-shamers. To my disappointment, I did not find a sizable anti-anti-anti community.  Something I found interesting about so many of these kink communities I looked into (or simply recalled memories of), whether it was furries, or DD/lg or even sissification or lolicon, was the amount of “buy-in” they required to maintain membership. Often literally financial, there is an implicit incentive placed on actual physical “fetish” objects one would have to pay for to be a “true” member of the kink. One fun trick is searching kinks on Etsy and seeing what weird shit you can buy. Adult pacifiers, chokers, onesies, a certified “Little License”, even helpful guides and worksheets for Littles and Caretakers. For Sissies, they’ll need to buy dresses, wigs, makeup, or even a Complete Sissy Training Guide and Workout Plan, that will teach you how to pierce your ears at home, apply makeup or even maintain a proper tuck (with a helpful video on tucking from Blaire White, no less). If that wasn’t enough for you, I happen to have a close friend who has frequently gone into “Little Space” for years. Little Space is essentially the psychological state where one can immerse in the identity of a little girl, usually somewhere between the ages of 4-12. It can be sexual, but it isn’t always. Here’s what she had to say:
I was fascinated by her admission of the importance of weed usage for her. She wasn’t the only person I talked to that mentioned weed usage as being helpful or even important to their kink or identity play. My friend seems to be a very capable woman. She’s smart, has a good job, lives alone, keeps her space clean, and works out every day. But for her and many others, there is something about modern life, some element of detachment they’ve developed that creates stress. And a way for them to alleviate this stress is things like this. Interestingly, I can recall several times this friend told me she would take a sativa gummy to motivate her cleaning and organizing, or collage/moodboard making, one of her creative hobbies. It’s also worth noting that littl-ing seems to be an overwhelmingly female-leaning behavior. I wonder what the male equivalent would be? There’s no one source you can blame as the origin of kinks in the mind. It’s generally accepted that things in childhood, many of them non-sexual and mundane, can have a profound effect on the fixations we have as teenagers and adults. But in an age where the things children witness on a daily basis are far more likely to be sexual and non-mundane, what fixations are they developing? How are they letting these fixations define their identity? And how should we react to it? Kinks ‘R’ UsIn the Current Year, when branded identity is forced on us all, where what matters most is what we consume, it’s only natural that kink is going to become an important part of many people’s identity. There are communities dedicated to finding likeminded perverts trying to recover from a kink. You can base your identity around hating your own kinks. All in all, I just think this is kind of bad for kinks. Sure, I think generally it’s not a horrible thing for people that are furries or sissies to know their kinks don’t make them bad people. But isn’t something lost a bit when it stops being taboo? I know that’s not really an original thought, but it’s important to identity in general. Contextualizing what’s gained and what’s lost by the process of normalization and assimilation. More than anything, it makes it a lot easier for people and businesses to sell you a bunch of crap you don’t need but become convinced you do because it spikes your brain. And you’re kidding yourself if you don’t think huge corporations don’t find this kink data useful to sell you plenty of other non-sexual things that can affirm your identity. Speaking of kink data, I’ve been chatting with Aella. She’s a libertarian sex worker who fancies herself a collector of data on all things kinky. She’s very controversial on Twitter, not just for her data collection methods and her intentions behind it, but for her often libertine opinions of what people are sexually stimulated by.
In response to the hullaballoo around the “Big Titty” shop teacher in Toronto last month, she commented that she “didn’t see the big deal” and that if you are “weirded out by it, that’s your own problem.” She often does polls on Twitter asking hyper-specific hypotheticals related to fetishes and sexuality.
When I asked her for comments relating to this piece, she was kind enough to give me a great deal of the data she collected from her Big Kink Survey, where she surveyed mostly from her followers on Twitter, Reddit, TikTok, Fetlife, Instagram, and Discord.
Basically, the responses come mostly from white, western, left-leaning people in their 20s with at least a small interest in porn. As of our talk on Sep. 20th, almost 40,000 people have responded. She says about 1,000 new people respond every few days, mostly young women that are not her normal audience. A small percentage of the responses self-report as being transgender. Of course, it’s important to keep in mind that the usefulness of this data only goes so far. It’s self reporting, from a specific and small portion of the online population. If you’re interested, I encourage you to look through her Substack where she goes more in depth on the results.  Here’s a couple interesting stats she told me:
Lastly, I think I owe it to Aella to include her personal comments on the mainstreaming kink:
This is a difficult topic for me. I tend to maintain that while people’s fear of the damage openness about sexuality does to society is overblown and disproportionately applied, there is still value in mystique and keeping certain things about yourself to yourself, or to your small trusted community of like-minded individuals. As kink becomes a more important part of our identities, manipulated further by market forces collecting data like Aella’s to sell us even further micronized identities, externalizing everything at the core of oneself starts to feel like not just a right, but an obligation. There IS a weird thing with sex happening right now, particularly in America. The culture and psychology that allows the Big Tiddy Shop Teacher, for example, to exist, is actually the same exact culture and psychology that allows Don Jr. to post this. This might seem meaningless and fence-sitting, but just like no one needs to know if you’re turned on by DD/lg, no one also needs to know if you’re disgusted by it. And you don’t have to pattern your identity around trying to encourage as many people as possible to know about it so they can join in on your disgust and you can revel in your mutual disgust. But, it’s okay, you can admit it: it feels a little exciting to talk about.
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2022/10/28
Porn Roulette
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