1) American Women Don't Accept Sharia Law
You may have been wondering this week, or since the Hamas-Israel war broke out in October, or during the Obama years, or possibly even in the days after 9/11, if American women would accept Sharia law.
It's a question that keeps people up at night, one that's truly impossible to answer. How could you know, for real, if American women accept Sharia law? Are the religious proscriptions based off the edicts of the Quran what ladies of the USA deep down desire? Do they secretly yearn for a caliphate to come across the ocean and implement a radical new government system that would be profoundly more restrictive than the rights they have today?
Well, today we have an answer.
"To The Radical Muslims Invading Our Country Right Now," @PureArizona on Gettr declared to his 31,000 followers, followed by an image.
"American women don't accept your filthy Sharia law," the image declares, printed above and below six women rocking black tank tops and black jeans all holding AR-15s.
Although the image is intended to be a troll of Islamic practices of dress, nothing in the photo would be prevented under Sharia law, as hijabs aren't actually mandated by the Quran and firearm ownership isn't outlawed.
But regardless, these ladies seem to answer that question.
The post fired up fans online, so jacked they could barely even coherently plug the photo and make all-caps denunciations of the non-nascent Islamic state in America.
"A WOMAN HAS TO BE A VERY IDIOT TO DEFEND SHARIA LAW !!!"
"Those Women who stand with Hamas - YOU ARE TRULY VERY UNAWARE OF WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE - SHARIA LAW IS TREATING WOMEN LESS THAN ANIMALS."
Hopefully that clears everything up.
2) Intergalactic pedophile fighters
Over on the QAnon message board, a Space Force conspiracy is burgeoning. A photograph of a member of Space Delta 9, the group tasked with preparing for intergalactic combat, showed their teams logo and slogan, which included the phrase "bring the storm."
The concept of the Storm is legendary in QAnon, the day of reckoning when the believers of the faith will be rewarded as former President Donald Trump swoops in and arrests the myriad pedophiles infesting the Democratic Party and Hollywood.
"Are they the storm? That would be better than what I thought it was going to be," wrote one poster in response.
But the question is: How would Space Force enact the Storm? Would they be tasked with using spaceships to tractor beam up Earth-bound pedophiles, like one might see in a Hollywood depiction of an alien encounter, or are they actually tasked with fighting something even more nefarious, space pedos from another dimension?
Sadly, the explanation is less interesting, as one responder knew the story behind the shirt.
"The men and women of Space Delta 9 are known as Stormbringers because not only were they born in a storm—the unit activation ceremony took place during a sudden and vicious thunderstorm—they also 'bring the storm' with their protect and defend mission," they wrote.
That doesn't mean Space Force won't one day fight space pedos, just that their shirt isn't announcing those intentions.
3) Republican Hillary Clinton
In the wake of another successful debate, former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley has seen her stock rise among Republicans looking for an alternative to Trump as the Iowa caucus approaches.
While the former president is still safely ensconced in the lead, his supporters are pushing new branding on Truth Social for Haley as she gains in the polls.
Harping on some of the less extreme positions that centrists are endorsing, they are harking back to a previously defeated foe, calling her "Republican Hillary Clinton."
In comments of Truths about Haley, Trump fans have all been responding with similar lines.
"She's the republican version of Hillary Clinton."
"SHE IS THE REPUBLICAN HILLARY CLINTON CLONE"
It's unclear if this will stick better than the "Dick Cheney in heels" moniker Vivek Ramaswamy gave her, but it's certainly snappier.
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