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The Daily Reckoning | Saturday, February 4, 2012 When Orwellian fiction becomes governmental blueprint, Readers weigh in on traitorous Freudian slips, missing the point on Friedman and conflicting copyright statements, Plus, all the week’s reckonings, archived for your non-invasive enjoyment... --------------------------------------------------------------- The LAST STOCK You’ll Ever Need You’re about to witness a shocking, hidden story. This could also be the biggest market story in history But you must act on this urgent wealth creation event before midnight Tuesday, February 14th. Here’s why...! Joel Bowman, reporting from Buenos Aires, Argentina... Joel Bowman It’s not every week that your editor finds himself promised a welcoming committee — of the physically invasive, rubber glove variety — for his next journey to the United States. But that’s exactly what “Agent Smith” proposed in the comments section under an article we wrote a few days ago. Needless to say, we were flattered. Though we must politely decline Agent Smith’s kind offer, we’ve decided to include the original article below anyway...along with some other amusing reader comments, for your weekend enjoyment... [This week’s feature column first appeared on Wednesday, February 1, 2012] The Daily Reckoning Presents Lost in Translation: An Important Note for International Reckoners By Joel Bowman First up, a quick public service announcement for our International Reckoners: If you’re planning a vacation to the United States of America in the foreseeable future, you would do well to refrain from employing any confusing colloquialisms in your social media updates prior to departure. For Australians, that means no “cracking onto” members of the opposite sex...no getting “off one’s face”...no “tearing it up”...no “little rippers” and, we would think, no “barrakking” for anyone. Our Irish friends will likewise wish to steer clear of referring to anything as “the gas,” from declaring intentions to “eat one’s head off” and from “throwing shapes,” “sucking diesel” or otherwise “effin’ and blindin’.” We can only imagine to what extent our English Reckoners shall have to curb their delightfully colorful lingo to ensure a stateside journey (even relatively) free of let or hindrance at the gate, though we imagine no measure of self-censorship will be sufficient to guarantee a transit experience free of at least a touch of “Ye ol’ Liberty Grope.” What’s all this caper then, eh? What’s the apple, the score, the bleedin’ apple core? Apologies for the loose linguistics, weary reader. But a point begs its making; a point two British (would-be) tourists, Leigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting, discovered the hard way just last week. Apparently rather chuffed at the upcoming prospect of a wee jaunt over the pond, Van Bryan and Bunting engaged in a bit of online banter before their big trip to the US. Mistake number one. The two were perhaps unaware that the Department of Homeland Security routinely trolls the global social media digital waves, setting up accounts to listen in on prospective threats to...um...the “Homeland.” We can only imagine the hysterical frenzy that whipped around the DHS H.Q. when they discovered what Van Bryan, 26, had posted. “Free this week for a quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America x” Not that it should matter, but “destroy” is popular English slang for “party”...an easily Googlable fact, one would think, for the highly skilled heroes manning the control tower at the Twitter and Facebook Counter Terrorism and Special Operations Unit for Liberty and Freedom of the Homeland... Patriot... Liberty... uh, never mind. After making their way through passport control at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) last week, the pair were promptly detained by armed guards/heroes/patriots. But the real trouble was still to come. The two were then informed that the DHS was on to their scheme to “destroy” (read: party in) America and (Could it be? No! Sweet Mother of Mercy!) their sick and twisted plot to dig up the grave of Marilyn Monroe! “3 weeks today, we’re totally in LA p****** people off on Hollywood Blvd and diggin’ Marilyn Monroe up!” The pair explained that the tweet, which the DHS had considered a grave matter of national security was, actually, a reference from Family Guy, a popular television show produced in the Homeland itself...behind patriot lines! “They asked why we wanted to destroy America and we tried to explain it meant to get trashed and party,” explained Bunting. “I almost burst out laughing when they asked me if I was going to be Leigh’s lookout while he dug up Marilyn Monroe. I couldn’t believe it because it was a quote from the comedy Family Guy which is an American show.” Department of Homeland Security staff, brave unwavering professionals as they are, were not deterred from their mission. “It got even more ridiculous because the officials searched our suitcases and said they were looking for spades and shovels. They did a full body search on me too” explained Bunting. Perhaps because grave-robbing spades and shovels have little to do with (most people’s idea of) partying, the DHS were unable to find any in the pair’s luggage or, strangely enough, on their person. Nevertheless, this was no time to take chances: “I kept saying to them they had got the wrong meaning from my tweet but they just told me ‘you’ve really f***** up with that tweet boy’.” Van Bryan, apparently thought to be the leader of the non-existent operation, was then cuffed, thrown in a cage inside a van and whisked away to a location where he could not be of harm to Homeland citizens. Recounted the suspect: “When we arrived at the prison [ed.: prison!] I was shoved in a cell on my own but after an hour two huge Mexican men covered in tattoos came in and started asking me who I was... They told me they’d been arrested for taking cocaine over the border... When the food arrived on the tray they took it all and just left me with a carton of apple juice.” After 12 hours in custody, the pair were returned to the airport where they were sent directly home...charge sheets in hand. Emily “The Lookout” Bunting’s charge sheet stated: “It is believed that you are travelling with Leigh-Van Bryan who possibly has the intentions of coming to the United States to commit crimes.” “Possibly has the intentions”? We can almost hear Special Twitter Task Force Agent Johnston saying, “That’s as good as a thought crime to me!” Added the charge sheet of one Leigh “Happy Birthday Mr. President” Van Bryan: “He had posted on his Tweeter website account that he was coming to the United States to dig up the grave of Marilyn Monroe. Also on his tweeter account Mr. Bryan posted that he was coming to destroy America.” We’re not quite sure what a “Tweeter account” is, but you can be sure the vigilant servicemen and women at the DHS are on the case. Thank goodness the pair didn’t use the “we were only taking the Mickey” defense. Could you imagine the costs and hassle involved in having to put Disneyland on high security lockdown? We shudder to think. So, to our International Reckoners, remember to travel safely both to and from the Homeland. And please, feel free to pass our public service announcement on. Joel Bowman for The Daily Reckoning P.S. Below are a few of the responses left by our Fellow Reckoners. We’ve included them all, exactly as they appeared on the site, at the time of this issue’s publishing. If you’d like to leave a comment of your own, you can do so here. Le Petomane said: I decided a few years ago never to visit the US again. It was an easy decision. Bob said: You should see the difference between border crossings in Canada vs. the US. I wonder how we got so many little Hitlers drunk on power? Yoshinori Kan said: America is losing it’s precious soul. So what is America’s soul? America’s soul is a conscience that resides in the heart of a reluctant hero. He has special powers that no-one else has but he rarely uses them. He minds his own business. But when push comes to shove, he holds his ground, gets the job done, doesn’t ask for a compensation, and goes back to minding his own business. The rest of the world looked up to him for his goodness, fortitude, and reluctance to take on the burdens of the world. These days, rescuing every damsel in distress is not enough, he is now preempting the bad guys from doing bad things! This is no hero. There is no movie here. Mr. Bowman’s article is very funny on the surface but the meaning behind it is so profoundly sad. It’s a damn shame how things are unraveling. Mark said: ...what is there to say after reading this? Frank K said: First it was border tightening. Then it was border security fence. Then it was border war. Then it was border security paranoia. And now, border security madness bordering on insanity. Rusty Fish said: No “cracking onto” members... There are many historical artifacts for centuries or days...months...decades buried underground yearning for our archeologists to excavate. With thorough analysis, these artifacts serve as crucial elements that could be vital in breaking into much of the conundrum which has taken heavy toll of human life. Facts after all is facts, why shy away? Leslie said: Governments have taken over the people. It is well past time for a change, the only time political parties seem to listen is when they want your vote, it appears to be like this everywhere now. Agent Smith said: Note to self. One Joel Bowman aiding and abetting aliens with criminal intentions to enter homeland undetected. Anal probe on next entry. Agent J said: Please, Mr. Bowman...you will, from now on, refer to our Glorious Land as Der Fatherland! And it’s, “The Twitter and Facebook Counter Terrorism and Special Operations Unit for the Protection of the Most Special, Lord Obama”. Get it right! Tony said: George Orwell’s 1984 was supposed to be a fiction book, not a blueprint. Hannibal said: Unless you like to “experience” 1984, Don’t trouble yourselves to travel to the US, not worth it. Max said: Living in the US I’d say things have gone crazy, buy many of us are just too complacent to realize what’s going on. Maybe we should start calling it Fatherland Security while clicking our heals together and saluting. World oil production is about to be shaken to its core... You won’t believe which nation analysts at Wall Street’s biggest banks expect to become the world’s biggest energy producer by 2017 — or the effect it will have on America... our economy... our future... Click here to see who is set to become the new king of oil — and how you can use the news to go for big profits as early as this MAY! ALSO THIS WEEK in The Daily Reckoning... The Most Common and Costly Investment Mistake By Chris Mayer Gaithersburg, Maryland I’d like to tell you about a study I read recently. It’s a slim little booklet titled One-Way Pockets by Don Guyon (a pen name for a broker). The book, which was first published in 1917, covers some studies he did on the trading behavior of accounts at the time. What he found was timeless. Goldman Sachs is Probably Not a “Buy” By Eric Fry Laguna Beach, California “I don’t know much about the stock market,” says Matt Taibbi, the witty critic of Goldman Sachs and other financial atrocities, “but when the O’Neills of the world start telling me what a great investment opportunity the American stock market is, I start getting the urge to buy canned food.” Goldman Sachs is a “Sell” By Eric Fry Laguna Beach, California For once, we agree with the insiders at Goldman Sachs. The company’s stock is a “Sell.” Okay, so the insiders didn’t exactly say their stock is a “sell,” but they didn’t need to. Their feet did all the talking. Last week, nine Goldman insiders scurried away from their stock as fast as the law would let them. They cashed out $20 million worth of stock at an average price of $107.44. This is the very same stock (NYSE:GS) that Goldman — on behalf of its shareholders — spent $21 billion buying over the last five years. The average price of those purchases was about $171 per share. Here’s our question: Why is Goldman’s stock a “Buy” for shareholders at $171 a share, but a “Sell” for insiders at $107 per share? The Speak-Easy Economy By Jeffrey Tucker Auburn, Alabama Digital or not, the state can’t make trading, sharing and associating go away. It only inspires the traders and entrepreneurs to avoid risks in different ways. During Prohibition, the speak- easies sensing a threat would change the passwords to get in the door. With the massive increase in government all over the world, vast swaths of the world economy have begun to operate just like these speak-easies of old. They were zones of freedom, but their operations were distorted because they didn’t have access to law and courts and because the people who ran them were from a class of citizens that was willing to take crazy risks. My Favorite Way to Own Silver By Byron King Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Units of this trust were trading well above $20 a few months ago. But today, even after silver’s January rally, the units are trading below $15. That’s a 25% decline, which is in sync with the drop in the price of silver. This recommendation isn’t intended to focus on short-term moves. The idea is to build a solid silver position for the longer term. It’s your way of building a silver play for the next couple of years, by which time we should see very healthy gains. Banking on Your Phone By Patrick Cox Marco Island, Florida America has lagged behind much of the world in terms of digital wallets. Elsewhere, people routinely use phones instead of credit cards. There are several reasons for this. Partly, it is because North America saw mobile phones so early. When other regions finally rolled out mobile phones, infrastructures were more modern. The larger reason, however, is that there is so much at stake. Make “Big Oil” pay for your retirement Oil fat cats got rich on $4 gas. Now how’d you like to make them pay you back? This little-known “loophole” let’s you collect up to triple the retirement income most stocks or bonds pay... without touching the stock market... and all while “Big Oil” gets stuck with the bill. Click here now for all the details. The Weekly Endnote... And now, it’s over to a few readers for some thoughts, ideas and musings... First up, this one from Reckoner Ron T... Hilariously, in Eric Fry’s article of Feb. 1 on Goldman Sachs shenanigans, he stated the following: Is it not a little strange that the same Wall Street firm that is supposed to be packed to the ceiling with genius traitors couldn’t trade its own stock any better than a raw amateur? I’m sure Mr. Fry meant to say “traders”, not “traitors” — or did he? Keep up the great work. Love the DR. And this, from Reckoner Guy L... Ah! But Bill you miss a point on Friedman. If we get more University graduates, there will be more of them competing for waiter jobs or clerk jobs at Wal-Mart , quite true...which means that fewer of them will be able to pay back their student loans...which means that the government will have a further reason to intervene to pardon the loans of all these poor little babies who didn’t realize that if they took out a $50,000 student loan to acquire a Bachelor’s degree in the sex practices of outer Mongolians, they would have to pay these loans back. The government will thus acquire a whole new class of zombies whose liberal votes will be guaranteed for a long time. What’s another trillion anyhow when you have a printing press! And finally this, from Reckoner B.B... Don’t these two statements kind of conflict? On that last note, if you would like to share, copy or “pirate” any article you see appear in The Daily Reckoning, we’re making it as easy as possible. You can: 1) Go to our website and forward the link to your favorite articles to friends or, 2) Find and “like” us on Facebook, where you can share our articles or, 3) Do likewise by following us on Twitter. As the author Paulo Coelho recently wrote in a fantastic blog post (which you are free to read here): “Pirates of the world, unite and pirate everything I’ve ever written!” And this [which appears at the bottom of the issue]... © 2010-2012 Agora Financial, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Protected by copyright laws of the United States and international treaties. This newsletter may only be used pursuant to the subscription agreement and any reproduction, copying, or redistribution (electronic or otherwise, including on the World Wide Web), in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited without the express written permission of Agora Financial, LLC. 808 Saint Paul Street, Baltimore MD 21202. The DR responds: Surely the former would constitute “express written permission,” no? Calling all pirates...calling all pirates... --- As always, we welcome your thoughts. Email them to the address below and... ..enjoy your weekend. Cheers, Joel Bowman Managing Editor The Daily Reckoning ---------------------------------------------------------------- Here at The Daily Reckoning, we value your questions and comments. If you would like to send us a few thoughts of your own, please address them to your managing editor at joel@dailyreckoning.com A Crisis in Worthwhile Opinions of Capitalism Buying Gold in Uncertain Times Thomas Friedman and the End of “Average” Currencies Hold Ground Ahead of Jobs Jamboree Taking Back Habeas Corpus Who’s Still OK With Deficit Spending Now? The Daily Reckoning: Now in its 11th year, The Daily Reckoning is the flagship e-letter of Baltimore-based financial research firm and publishing group Agora Financial, a subsidiary of Agora Inc. The Daily Reckoning provides over half a million subscribers with literary economic perspective, global market analysis, and contrarian investment ideas. Published daily in six countries and three languages, each issue delivers a feature-length article by a senior member of our team and a guest essay from one of many leading thinkers and nationally acclaimed columnists. Cast of Characters: Bill Bonner Founder Addison Wiggin Publisher Eric Fry Editorial Director Joel Bowman Managing Editor The Mogambo Guru Editor Rocky Vega Editor Additional articles and commentary from The Daily Reckoning on: Twitter Facebook DR iPhone APP To end your Daily Reckoning e-mail subscription and associated external offers sent from Daily Reckoning, cancel your free subscription. If you are you having trouble receiving your Daily Reckoning subscription, you can ensure its arrival in your mailbox by whitelisting the Daily Reckoning. © 2010-2012 Agora Financial, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Protected by copyright laws of the United States and international treaties. This newsletter may only be used pursuant to the subscription agreement and any reproduction, copying, or redistribution (electronic or otherwise, including on the World Wide Web), in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited without the express written permission of Agora Financial, LLC. 808 Saint Paul Street, Baltimore MD 21202. Nothing in this e-mail should be considered personalized investment advice. A lthough our employees may answer your general customer service questions, they are not licensed under securities laws to address your particular investment situation. No communication by our employees to you should be deemed as personalized investment advice.We expressly forbid our writers from having a financial interest in any security they personally recommend to our readers. All of our employees and agents must wait 24 hours after on-line publication or 72 hours after the mailing of a printed-only publication prior to following an initial recommendation.Any investments recommended in this letter should be made only after consulting with your investment advisor and only after reviewing the prospectus or financial statements of the company.