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2020/09/14

"Not My Job" Moments of Exceptional Unprofessionalism and more...

We live in a society of increasingly specific job descriptions, so why should a person described as road painter also have to be a roadkill mover? We get some stunningly unprofessional not my job moments from folks who will only do their specific job, ...
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"Not My Job" Moments of Exceptional Unprofessionalism and more...


 In This Issue...



"Not My Job" Moments of Exceptional Unprofessionalism

We live in a society of increasingly specific job descriptions, so why should a person described as road painter also have to be a roadkill mover? We get some stunningly unprofessional not my job moments from folks who will only do their specific job, or straight up won't do their job in the first place.

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Umbrella - FORWARD ASEAN

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Font - 立体成型 ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH PORTUGUÊS PORTUGUÊS PORTUGUÊS SPANISH SPANISH SPANISH SPANISH

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Infrastructure

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Red - FIRE EXTXTINGUIXHER 1ON DIOXIDE EXTINOL

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Iron - Assembly Instructions Finished TOP Step2 LEG Step1

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Road

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Floor - Please wait here

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Soil - 3h City you are a JOKE! We asked them to fix the box so our neighbor could turn his valve on. So they cut the handle?!?! Are you serious!? We also asked them to put the boxes back the way they removed them! That didn't happen either! They are crooked! Someone seriously needs to come out and fix the mess they made! 29 22 Comments 1 Share O Like Comment A Share OFF NO NI o) Apollo co

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Gauge - 11 12 10 6. 3 8. 7 4 6 5

10.

Spoon - Great Value. 100 Spoons

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Architecture - RAMP

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Asphalt - ETO

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Room - HAND SOUP

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Food - NOLLNEDI LOHNOLLON

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Food - DON'T THE FOOD WITH BARE HANDS Use the concern spoon

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Water - Rollback $168 Was: $178 SI Tetley peps peps pepsi рeps реpsi pepsi рepsi

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Food

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CC Cat Dd fF Duke Fish

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Keychain - PLITHEAKI INOOS ENS KEYRINGS Big Big) Sater Stier

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Water

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Motor vehicle - VAN ACC BLE

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Motor vehicle - Transporn

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Text - hameless lth Tricks By Casey Gueren LZHteranetapeforapoaerrayeis tbackwihyoureqsin the air(arproppedup Nppert)forhafankue tboostsbleod fow brain, enakingyouteelmoreaa No-Stress Rx Staragn track with your psertiens just geteasien RAid and Walgrens both avesew a at Iet you scana pictareof yer p betteto reestaret You can ali so for alerts that tel youwhes your scrit's eady for p nd whes ye're ring low on ed yes takeeqarty e Pt yto Risk DON'T LET A COLD TAKE AWAY D Workout Power Move. Drinkch

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Material property - FACE REQUIRED PLEASE WEAR ONE WEAR ONE WHILE SHOPPING WITH US f you need a mask, please ask an associate. Our team thanks you 1or your support

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Footwear - ancel Clearance!

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Best Fails of 2020 (Part 1)

 

Oh boy, buckle on up for a compilation of this year's best fails to date. As long as this earth keeps spinning, and people keep making decisions before putting in the thought necessary to avoid utter catastrophes, we're going to have more fails coming out of the woodwork. 

Submitted by: (via Fail Blog)

       
 

Quarterback Throws Touchdown To Himself

 

That's some Madden cheat codes stuff right there. It's not every day that you see a quarterback accidentally throw himself a touchdown. Oh to have been there when this occurred. Nowadays, we're busy living through an NFL season where fans are all forced to watch games from their homes. 

Submitted by: (via Robert Carneal)

       
 

Facepalm Moments of Intense Dumbness

Human beings can do some absolutely incredible things when it comes to observation, innovation and expressing nuance. At the same time, there will always be those of us who aren't exactly running on all cylinders.  And then sometimes we're just having an off day. These are the producers of facepalm moments of mystifying dumbness

1.

Organism - I'm dying. My mom bought this book for my 6 year old and I just called to ask if she had actually opened the book. She hadn't. a IF ANIMALS COULD TALK I WINK I HAVE A COKE PROBLEM FOLAR BEAR "NHEAL THE FUCK ALL NE KEYS?" KANGAKDO BY CARLA BUIWIN L 1OSH CASSIDY

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Text - @acidkawhi bitch you mean food???? A elijah @fakeleny 1d has anyone tried making edibles but without weed? like virgin edibles or something 6:45 PM 2020-09-11 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - ISTOP My housemate left, he owes me $20, and he took the shower head

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Product - 23:36 yeah lol id be freaking out to if my clock was displaying nonsense numbers you are aware that's a 24-hour set clock right? so it's just saying its 11:36 pm? im sorry if this isnt "pc" but i dont care about the british customs

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Vehicle - 一

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Bowling - E BARRE STRIKE 2 RRA

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Text - 3 hrs 14 True love is when my boyfriend eats the pickles off my burger because l don't like them, even though he doesn't like pickles either. Like Comment and 14 others like this. Or you could both not eat the pickles. 3 hrs Like 64

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Asphalt

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Text - Q can a blind person Q can a blind person dream Q can a blind person see again Q can a blind person drive Q can a blind person cry a can a blind person see Q can a blind person become ias Q can a blind person see light Q can a blind person be a doctor Q can a blind person sleep with their eyes open Q can a blind person go to jail

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Text - some quack &+ Folgen @hurlarious my fav colour is also hitler BOUTIQUE SALES / CLOTHING & ACCESSORIES/ MY FAVORITI MY FAVORITE COLOR IS Jiter

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Transport - चकिया धर्मल ल्ट CHAATHERMAL LT

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Text - Replying to I got dumped for having red hair. My boyfriends Mum didn't want to risk having ginger grandchildren, so she made him dump me. He married a blonde and had two ginger kids..Karma. My Kids are blonde. 8:45 AM · Aug 18, 2020 i)

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T-shirt - There are two types of people in this world: 1 Those who can extrapolate 1) from incomplete data "So two of my classmates just asked our professor if his shirt is missing a 2nd part."

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Text - Sol had a wedding in my Calendar for this Saturday and I was very stressed out becausel didn't know whose it was andI was afraid I was going to miss it. Then I realized that it was part of my 20 year plan and I set it like 5 years ago. It's my wedding, l'm missing my wedding. 15/08/2018, 01:48 52.9K Retweets 358K Likes

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Text - r/AskReddit Posted by u/getfookenrekt 12h 6 8 O 11 1 7 6. 10 What is a common thing in your country but rare in others? 14,1k 8,3k Share SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL Frightnite20 • 7m FREEDOM!!!! 田 Reply Vote getfookenrekt : 6m That's a flag of Liberia

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Text - In my hungover state I went food shopping. Reached for a pack of sausages & someone reached at the same time so l stepped back & said "sorry you go ahead". I then realised l'd actually seen my own arm in a mirror & had apologised to myself in front of a lady handing out samples

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Text - Hi this is micropost we have had dificultys geting you on the xbox data bayse we recuire youre email and pasward to get you back on our databayse Learn2spell@school.com My pass is Stupidk1d Omg yoy actualy fel for it have fun geting hack Reply: 0/500

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Transport - NORWAY Fuxing racist with his confedarate flag 9:10 AM · Jul 20, 2020 695 82 people are Tweeting about this Replying to @etrnl_classic It literally says Norway on top, holy fk 9:14 AM Jul 20, 2020

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Facial expression - VOU MATCHEO WITH ROZ ON S0 where did d you get that yoda dol haha it's just photoshopped no not the photo. i mean the yoda doll yeuh it's not a doll, unforturutely! anyways! what kinda movies do you like? besides Star Wars, presumably :) Sert so you just.put a fake image on your profile? that's literally the definition of catfishing, you're a liar and a sneak and I'm reporting you. not letting you fool anyone else with your little tricks. Carter 21 a Lives in Chicago O less t

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Text - 45 mins · A Is there any sort of book subscription for kids that exists where you order books and once you read them you return them and get more? 7 Comments Like לו Comment It's called a library. 01 38m Like Reply

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Font - Never let a stranger sit by themselves, you'll be surprised what tales they have to tell 9:32 PM · Dec 21, 2016 23.7K 9 6.2K people are Tweeting about this Replying to @spicyjumex Bro this is your grandma we go to church together cmon 9:07 PM · Oct 15, 2019

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Organism - I stole a packaged Ham from the store today & gave it a proper burial. Now the animal's soul can finally be at peace. RIP little buddy. t å Tribute video of burial to follow. #Vegan 169 27 180 281 Why not give it to someone who needs it more? This could have given a meal to a kid in poverty or a homeless person, not very thoughtful. 1 27 1 42 శ్రీ Replying to I would rather let them starve than feed them meat

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Product - "My wife's calculator wasn't working due to a lack of light so I told her to use her phone. This was not what I was expecting."

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Motorcycle helmet - Biker Lover Sponsored · * This is my relationship goal. Get them now here: https://rebrand.ly/rdc241 MY BEARD IS THE ONLY HAIR PLACE BEARD HERE THAT HODrWEE YÖUR LEG 16 4 Comments 3 Shares

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Text - i couldnt find my headphones and its late at night solution: get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume if i cant find my headphones what makes you think im going to find a stethoscope just lying around

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Tagged: error , wtf , FAIL , morons , facepalm , lol , ridiculous , dumb , idiots , stupid
       
 

Cook Makes Petty Spite Pizza, Customers Love It

Sometimes customers make demands they don't know they don't want, and sometime they go as far to boldly complain at the wrong store. On rare occasions, when the frustrated cook thought they were getting some kind of revenge on their demanding customers with a new monstrous creation, it "backfires" in a way where everyone gets what they want.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance · Posted by u/Clueguy 4 days ago Pizza not spicy and well done enough for you? Alright then... oc s So quite a number of years ago I worked at a large Pizza Chain. The one with the red roof. Every Tuesday evening a group of 12 people would come in to eat. Usually within 30 minutes of closing time. They would order 1 large vegetarian pizza, with hot peppers, and ask for the pizza to be well done. They would also ask for chillies on the side. You might think, ok, what

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Text - They started asking for more hot peppers and complaining that the pizza wasn't spicy enough. They also started sending the pizza back to be cooked more (it was already pretty dark). Well, one day they sent the pizza back but this time asked for it to be remade not just cooked more. At this point it was 15 minutes to closing, I had cleaned everything and was pretty much finishing up my shift. Of course the manager has to appease the customers. So I start making them another pizza. They wan

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Text - I cut the pizza and give it to the waitress. I'm now waiting to get an ear full after the customer complains. All prepared with my reasoning that I'm making what the customer asked for. I finish my shift and the manager calls me over. Turns out the customer did ask to speak to a manager.. The customer said it was the best pizza they have had since they started coming and it was just how they wanted it. They asked if it could be made this way each week and left a nice tip.

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Text - Veeence 3.4k points · 4 days ago Delicious Compliance.

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Text - JFerrer619 315 points · 4 days ago Wasn't this also why potato chips were invented? Moonpenny 166 points · 3 days ago https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato_chip#Saratoga_Springs_legend OU SECURE MCAfee A legend associates the creation of potato chips with Saratoga Springs, New York decades later than the first recorded recipe. By the late nineteenth century, a popular version of the story attributed the dish to George Crum, a cook at Moon's Lake House who was trying to appease an unhappy c

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Text - Lorindale 129 points · 4 days ago Reminds me of a story about some friends of my parents. They had a small diner/steakhouse, the husband cooked and the wife waited tables, this was probably in the early 80s. One day an old cowboy comes in and orders a rare porterhouse. Steak is cooked, sent out, and returned. Not rare enough. Okay. Steak number two. Less cooked, but still sent back for being not rare enough. The husband was kind of pissed at this point. He cranked the flat-top until it sh

Submitted by:

Tagged: pizza , revenge , spicy , lol , story , funny
       
 

Quick Tumblr Post On Common American Sayings

Every now and again the brilliant minds of Tumblr actually nail it. In this case, we have a quick and hilariously accurate post about common American sayings, and the actual meanings of those sayings. There's a whole lot more chaos bubbling under the surface of an "it goes" than some folks might realize. 

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Text - gerrycanavan When Americans say... It means... Awesome Good Fabulous Good Amazing Good Great Fine Fine Bad OK Bad Not so great Really bad Driving me completely nuts Challenging Hilarious Unexpected Probably For sure Forever 30 minutes Let's get coffee sometime Let's stay in touch My friend My best friend Goodbye; I like you Goodbye; I don't like you that much A person I know A person I know and also like I'm afraid of Americans

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Text - lindsayribar This is super real. justgot1 Completely accurate. next-time-you-invite-pam @pre-successful America exposed.

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Text - themightyglamazon It's hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like "yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go" sexycraisinthanos If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super." that means they want to die

4.

Text - themightyglamazon ACCURATE one-for-all-plus-ultra If they say they're peachy it means they're tired of existence drneverland If they say "Living the dream," it means "please kill me, I hate my job so, so much."

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Text - accordingtomyresearch also “that's a great question" means "I have no freaking idea" aampharros if asked “how are things going?" and they reply “its going" it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown thethp this is all accurate and i hate it Source: twitter.com

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Jerk Company Overworks And Underpays Female Employee, She Gets Last Laugh

Companies that put their employees through the ringer, overworking them while underpaying them, are the worst. It could be a toxic manifestation of higher-ups being so far removed from the inner-workings of the business itself that they have no appreciation for all the hard work that goes into the system, to keep it functioning. Or, maybe it's a willful blind ignorance. Either way, we love nothing more than seeing an employee fight back against a company that wronged them (and other coworkers). This woman's revenge was the definition of professional. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/EngrChik127 • 3h Disrespected, overworked and underpaid female employee gets the last laugh I have always been a hard worker thanks to my parents' work ethic and raising 3 kids on a shoestring budget. My dad took every bit of overtime he could get, missing holidays and never using vacation or sick time so my mom could stay home with us kids and have a hot meal on the table every night. When we were school aged, my mom went back to school and got a job where she could

2.

Text - So it was natural for me, the oldest of 3, to apply for jobs as soon as I turned 15, landing a retail position where I worked every hour allowed by my work permit. I saved up enough to buy a used car before I was even old enough to drive, and once I got my driver's license I worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to save for college. I got a summer internship at my dad's company that led to me working my way up through the industry toward an engineering position, which I was already studying in col

3.

Text - As a salaried Jerks Inc. employee I was not paid overtime, but still worked a minimum of 60 hours a week, and often 80-100 hours a week when I worked at remote job sites all over the U.S., which was about 80% of the time. These jobs had me busting ass outside all day in the scorching summers of the southern U.S. to the frigid winters of the northern states. My manager at the time strictly enforced the policy of only 1 paid comp day after any given trip, even if l'd worked 2 consecutive 10

4.

Text - One day I was called into my manager's office and reprimanded for frequently using the company phone, designated for business use only, in the middle of the night. I pointed out every one of those calls on the phone bill were from our customers needing emergency technical support. He had no idea my job required 24/7 on-call response. After 5 years, I had a small team under me who put in the same grueling hours and enjoyed the same $500 "bonus" each year. I was repeatedly denied requests t

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Text - After a couple months, former clients started calling asking me to work on some big projects. When I told them they would need to call Jerks Inc., they said they already had and my entire team had quit shortly after I did, leaving no one there capable of doing the work they needed. I decided to start a side business intending to work a couple weeks per quarter, but when word got out I was back in the industry, it quickly became more than a full time gig. My old team had also refused to si

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Text - When my team and I walked into Jerks Inc.'s conference room for the first project meeting, the managers stared down at the table. I couldn't hide my huge smile as I handed out our rate sheet which was around 10 times more than they had paid us as employees. TL;DR: I quit working for a company where I was disrespected, grossly overworked and underpaid, and the company had to begrudgingly contract my newly created multimillion dollar company with all of their ex- employees, for the same wor

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Wife's Overheards Of Medical Student Husband

We love our collections of overheards here. Overheards are a great expression of all the crazy kinds of seemingly nonsensical things that we can overhear while out walking around this wild world. Sometimes, you can hear something and instantaneously recognize that no amount of context is going to provide clarity to that conversation. Peoples say some weird stuff. In this case, we have a quick and hilarious collection of things a wife's medical student husband was caught saying. 

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Text - winsert Dolly emoji here- @BuhRooklynne Okay, posting these all to one thread so bear with me Did I tell you all about the time l thought I did a pretty hairdo and I asked my medical student husband how it looked, and he said.. "It looks like a uterus." 1:11 PM · 11/4/19 · Twitter Web App

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Text - ~insert Dolly emoji here- @BuhRooklynne KID TOY: When the light turns read, talk into the speaker! I'll turn it into a song! Okay, Go! HUSBAND: GYNOCOMASTIA 6:12 PM · 12/3/18 · Twitter Web App

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Text - winsert Dolly emoji here- @BuhRooklynne WIFE: *showering, hears husband bounding into bathroom* 1) NORMAL HUSBAND: Time for sexy times! 2) MY HUSBAND: *excitedly* I JUST LEARNED WHY YOU GET CONSTIPATED BEFORE YOUR PERIOD STARTS, YOUR PROGESTERONE INTERACTS WITH SMOOTH MUSCLE TISSUE WHICH INCLUDES Y 1:13 PM · 11/4/19 · Twitter Web App

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Text - vinsert Dolly emoji here~ @BuhRooklynne ME: okay two year old daughter of mine. Let's go read some books MEDICAL STUDENT HUSBAND: I'm already reading to her. *looks back down at his school lectures* Causes of adrenal gland failure in the kidneys are as follows 1:21 PM · 11/4/19 · Twitter Web App

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Text - ninsert Dolly emoji here- @BuhRooklynne MEDICAL STUDENT HUSBAND: *plops down on the couch exhausted after studying* ME: how are you doing? MSH: *automatically* Trophoblasts form the lining between the uterus and the placenta and can become cancerous but 90% of hpv infections are resolved by the immune system 7:26 PM · 12/5/19 · Twitter Web App

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Text - ninsert Dolly emoji here- @BuhRooklynne MEDICAL STUDENT HUSBAND: I like this bread. It's soft, yet firm. Like a prostate should be. 8:15 AM - 12/8/19 · Twitter Web App

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Text - ~insert Dolly emoji here~ @BuhRooklynne ME: How are your patients at the hospital doing? MEDICAL STUDENT HUSBAND: They're fine I guess. I mean, they are in the hospital. 9:17 PM · 8/16/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - winsert Dolly emoji here- @BuhRooklynne MEDICAL STUDENT HUSBAND: *doing a practice ear exam on me* aw babe you have the most beautiful tympanic membrane l've ever seen 7:54 AM 8/19/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Wholesome Security Team Saves Office Plants

When things went down too fast for employees to save their plants from their building, the security team went through the process of turning the office into a makeshift greenhouse. For some more wholesome Tumblr threads, here's a neighbor who's helpful for no reason, as well as a barista who is the definition of chaotic good.

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Text - wafflesrisa Here's something cute When lockdown happened in the UK it happened very suddenly. At the law firm I work at, our office building emptied overnight when everyone was told to work from home. No time to clear our desks, no time to bring office plants home. Fast forward three and a half months - everyone assumes that their plants are dead. But then! An email goes round! It's turns out that one of our security guards is a florist, and -

2.

Text - -the security team has moved EVERY SINGLE PLANT from all 12 FLOORS of our office building into the cafeteria. It's been turned into a temporary greenhouse. Cacti and succulents and spider plants and terrariums and potted ferns AND! Each plant has been INDIVIDUALLY LABELLED by hand with post-it notes with name and desk location so the plants can go home after lockdown ends To give some indication of the scale of the endeavour:

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Houseplant

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Text - If you zoom into the centre right photo you can see one of our security team happily waving The plants are being taken care of tenderly. They get sun and water and are spending happy times with other plant friends Source wafflesrisa 35,704 notes ...

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Trainer's Boyfriend Cheats On Her, Real Life Avengers Assemble

We would really like for this to be true, but regardless of whether or not this is a work of pure fiction, it is certainly quite the engaging read. Plus, any situation involving a cheater getting it in the end, is a win in our books. Check out some more juicy content on cheaters losing with this cheater who got left on top of a mountain.

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Text - throwtime: I'm about to have a fun afternoon. So my trainer's bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

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Text - She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and... wait for it.... a Navy seal. We're gonna go get her shit for her. This should make for an interesting story.

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Text - So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That's what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude's house. But I'm very proud to say, this ended without violence. Arrival:

4.

Text - So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker's explorer and headed over to dude's house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of l'd say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like

5.

Text - your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and

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Text - behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of

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Text - relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like "FINE. Go take what you're looking for." Retrieval: So we're all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely

8.

Text - guessing. We didn't even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn't enough, I guess they were letting

9.

Text - him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there's me. Who was causing general mischief.... He said to take what I was looking for, that's what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because "you guys look like you

10.

Text - have it under control, and l'm a sucker for egg salad." We were in and out in 15 minutes. Delivery: So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl's spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don't.

11.

Text - She sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. "OMG what did you say to him?" Nothing. We're not messenger boys. We're delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff.

12.

Text - Then she got to my box and asked "Wtf is all that shit." So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then

13.

Text - unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like "So.... Chipotle?" And we all got burrito bowls. What a great day. Martial artists, nonviolence, and a seriously lovely little bit of harmless vendeance. I love this whole storv.

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Absurd Things People Got Offended By

You can never know what incredibly specific thing someone might take personal offense to. People get upset over the dumbest things thanks to their own paranoia, assuming malice in people, or extremely non-standard view of how people ought to act. It's when someone makes something out of a mistake or an utter non-issue that has people scratching their heads.

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Cheating Ex Gets Left On Top Of Mountain

The look on this dude's face at the summit must've been a priceless spectacle to behold. We're no strangers to dramatic cheating stories here, but when it comes to the kinds of revenges that people will take on those selfish, cold-blooded cheaters, this scenario involving leaving a cheater at the top of the mountain is a new favorite. 

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Tumblr Thread: Batman Villains as Talk Radio Therapists

Leave it to Tumblr to take a quirky superhero idea and turn it up to eleven, like this thread where a mystified man is able to identify superheroes. It seems like every villain would be some kind of expert in whatever their field of villainy, so they wouldn't necessarily be bad at giving advice.

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People's Most Wholesome Experiences With Strangers

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about people's most wholesome encounters with perfect strangers. If anything this is just the kind of thread that restores our faith in humanity. It ain't all bad out there after all. Sometimes folks do in fact step up and help others that they expect nothing back from. 

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Text - Greenfireflygirl• 7h 10 Awards I had a knock on my door and when I opened it, there was a stranger with a gift card to a local garden store for me. Apparently her kid had been pinching tulips from my garden every day to give to his mom and they wanted to pay for them, once they figured out whose garden they were coming from. I had thought squirrels were doing it and had regretted planting them the year before, not being able to enjoy them! I spent the gift card on more bulbs! Reply 7.1k .

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Text - datumerrata • 5h 26 Awards When I was 18 I had a friend in the hospital with brain cancer. His time was limited. I visited him when I could. He was kind of hippie alternative punk. I wore a leather jacket and had long hair. I walked to his room, a nurse saw me. Without saying a word she walked to me and gave me a long comforting hug. That's how I knew he passed. Reply 9.8k ...

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Text - IDGAF_GOMD•5h 29 Awards When I was 16, l'd taken my mom's old Pontiac Bonneville to the movies andI was in such a hurry that I forgot to turn off the lights. When I came out, the car was dead but someone left a set of jumper cables on the hood with a note that said, "I hope you make it home safely". I've never ever forgotten about that. Since then l've tried to pay that kindness forward anyway I can.

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Text - 1 Award I was in London and was supposed to be flying home that day. Walking down the street with my two suitcases towards the tube station nice and early on my way to Heathrow with plenty of time. Silly me didn't realize that when the signs said there is going to be a tube strike on the day you fly home, that means the tube is COMPLETELY CLOSED. I thought it just meant delays or something. I don't know. I start walking toward the bus station a few blocks away desperately trying to come u

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Text - kiwiguy_ • 5h G O 24 Awards On my honeymoon in Greece we nearly got stranded driving our little scooter back from a day trip. Finally found a petrol station in this village but it was during afternoon nap/siesta time. We apologised as best we could in the little Greek we knew. The guy obliged but looked a little annoyed. He casually asks where we are from and we tell him New Zealand. His face lights up and is amazed because he had never met someone from NZ before. He asks us what are we d

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Text - punt4stic • 8h 34 Awards I had just lost my job and my dad had his card stolen. He was waiting on the bank but completely out of food and living in an old, run down RV. I would have figured SOMETHING out. I'd die before I let him starve. Right as he's almost in tears talking to me about it, someone knocked on the door. A lady had food for someone in an RV, but those people had vacated the parking lot and she wanted to know if my dad needed any. (Some sort of local helping hands org.) Ther

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Text - cptnsaltypants • 7h 26 Awards Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon just came out in theaters. I had been planning to go see it on my next day off. I didn't have a car so relied on the bus. The day of the movie came and there was a snow storm. I walked downtown to get the bus but there was a sign saying all buses cancelled due to snow. I was super bummed out and walked over to the local coffee shop. I ordered a coffee and was telling the owner how disappointed I was that I couldn't get to the mo

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Text - manualpropulsion • 7h 102 Awards I'm a wheelchair user. At a baseball game, a little girl came running up to me and climbed on to my lap. Her mom was apologetic but I told her it was fine, no worries-- looking at the girl's face, I could tell she had some kind of developmental disability. Mom explained to me that the little girl's grandfather used a wheelchair and she missed him. I rolled around a little to give her a ride, she giggled and had a good time, then she climbed off and went ba

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Text - meow1983 • 5h 14 Awards I was in Walmart one day and some dude was blocking the aisle where the item I needed was located. I then heard him ask a Walmart employee where the cabinet liners were. She proceeded to say she wasn't sure and started to send him to the wrong location. I nosily piped up: I know where they are. If you want to follow me I will take you to them because I just bought some last week. The man: Oh, ok. Thank you. He followed me to the opposite side of the store and I sho

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Text - Back2Bach • 6h G e 14 Awards The most wholesome and memorable experience was in a crowded New York airport with an elderly lady. I saw her crying and looking bewildered as she sat alone in the main concourse. So I sat down next to her and asked if I could help. She said she was going to a family member's funeral on the west coast and had never been in an airport. The lady was "hard of hearing" and the loud speaker announcements just compounded her confusion - to the point where she was ph

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Text - Nazetel • 8h 13 Awards I guess this can be perceived as pathetic by some people and thats ok but I used to go to school with a bunch of horrible people. I'm disabled so I look and walk weird. Every time l'd go out for lunch to my favourite food place and see them, they'd hurl insults. Anyway, I was standing in a long queue and they were behind me. There was an old lady (maybe like 70-80) behind them. They were making fun of my walk (I sorta cant walk straight bc I had a stroke as a kid) a

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Text - AgeOfWomen• 7h 9 Ne 59 Awards A few years ago, I was experiencing deep depression. My life was a mess, my apartment was a mess, I was a mess. For a moment, I decided to just go to the park and sit for a while, as I was really at the end of my rope and had zero idea on what to do. Out of nowhere, a kid, possibly about three or four years, comes and hands me three yellow dandalions and runs back to her mom. I don't know why, but I always remember that. That day, I went home and cleaned my a

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Text - moki_989 · 4h 1 Award For context, I'm a fat lesbian. While grocery shopping, I saw a man about my age (mid-20's) who was clearly putting a lot of effort into his appearance and it was working. He had two-toned dyed hair (one half blonde, the other black), was wearing some well-done makeup that I couldn't do, bright purple jeans, good tattoos, etc. Overall, the look worked, and he'd clearly put effort into it. I said excuse me and mentioned that I thought he looked very happy and confiden

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Text - Outrageous_Claims • 7h 2 Awards Was working at a store that sells electronics. Younger kid came in and said he needed a laptop for his new business. I said what's the business. He said it's just a clothing line, but all the jobs are given to people in recovery. And I said that's very admirable, and I couldn't help get teary eyed. And he said has addiction touched your life? And I said both my parents are addicts. He said "mine too." And then I said do you want a hug? And then we hugged fo

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Text - mcinthedorm • 7h 曾 8 Awards I was traveling to the National parks in Utah. In the hotel parking lot I noticed I had a flat. I was very flustered because I was worried about the cost of replacing the tire on top of the rental company charging me extra As I was struggling with the tire, a group of Hispanic men came over to help me out to replace. They offered me a corona beer, and we all shared a beer, and they took me through the process, guiding me but still having me do most of the work

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Twitter Thread: Woman Discovers Lump, Iceland's Healthcare Pulls Through

Mary Robinette's story about her experience with discovering an ominous lump on her body, and then being able to get the help she needed in Iceland, speaks volumes to the healthcare situation back in America. Sounds like a visit to Iceland to get medical attention could actually be worthwhile. 

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal e @MaryRobinette When I lived in lIceland, I found a lump. Ihad no idea how to navigate finding a doctor, so I went to our show's production manager. Me: I found a lump. Can you help me find a doctor? PM: Just go to the cancer center. Me: Okay. How do a get a referral? PM: What's a referral? 7:09 PM 6/3/19 Twitter Web App

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette After I explain what a referral is, he looks baffled. PM: Just go to the cancer center. Me: But.referral? He shrugs and hands me the phone number to the cancer center. I call and explain. CC: A lump, ah yes. You should come in. Me: Don't I need a referral? CC: A what? 7:09 PM 6/3/19 Twitter Web App 192 Retweets 2,432 Likes

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette Having accepted that I don't need a referral, I say, "How do I make an appointment?" CC: An appointment? Yes, we can do that if your schedule is very busy, otherwise just come in. Me: I don't need an appointment? CC: You found a lump! You know your body, yes? Come in. 7:09 PM 6/3/19 Twitter Web App 186 Retweets 2,682 Likes

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette Sol go. The nurse checking me in apologizes because, since I'm not Icelandic, l'll have to pay for the visit. It's 3 krónur. That's 3 dollars at that point. I pay and sit down to wait. CC: Kowal? Me: Already? CC: You found a lump. 7:09 PM 6/3/19 - Twitter Web App 187 Retweets 2,638 Likes

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette She escorts me into an examining room and palpates the area. CC: Yes, that does feel like a lump. Let's do a mammogram. I prepare to hear about making an appointment for that. CC: I'm sorry, but it's across the hall. Do you mind following me? 7:09 PM - 6/3/19 Twitter Web App 163 Retweets 2,211 Likes

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette I've been in the building for about twenty minutes at this point when I'm strapped into the mammogram WHICH HAD WARMERS -- and she does her thing. CC: There is something there, you are right. I want to see it with an ultrasound. And then she leads me next door. 7:09 PM 6/3/19. Twitter Web App 161 Retweets 2,380 Likes

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette She does the ultrasound and when we're finished, she tells me to get dressed and to meet her in the waiting room. Ihead out to the changing room, put my top back on, and walk out to the waiting room. sit down to wait. CC: Kowal? Me: Already? CC: It is only cyst. 7:09 PM - 6/3/19 Twitter Web App

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Text - Mary Robinette Kowal @MaryRobinette Forty-five minutes after walking into the Icelandic Cancer Center and 3 krónur poorer, I had the answer. In the US, a similar lump took two weeks and three different office visits. I think about this every time I have to fight with medical insurance in the US. 7:09 PM - 6/3/19 - Twitter Web App 792 Retweets 6,206 Likes

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Judge Judy Defends Dad's Rights

 

Good for Judge Judy for coming to this poor dude's defense. Guy looked like he was about to break down! 

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Tumblr Thread On Purple Rhymes Goes Off The Rails

Tumblr has the tendency to well, tumble. And exactly that happened here. What started as an observation on violets turned into a historical rhyme on the concept of purple, which then turned into some well timed and tastefully executed filth. For more Tumblr color nerdery, here's an explanation of why magenta isn't a real color. And for random fun, here are Tumblr gems to keep the day moving.

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Text - gallusrostromegalus S aerialsquid Follow satanpositive Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue. feels-for-the-fictional I have been waiting for this post all my life. marzipanandminutiae They are indeed purple, But one thing you've missed: The concept of "purple" Didn't always exist. Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his "wine-dark sea."

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Text - A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold. So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I'm hugely pedantic But what else is new? ineptshieldmaid My friend you're not wrong About Homer's wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency; Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You've given short shrift.

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Text - The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold. By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved For only the emperor! The word 'purple', for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

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Text - Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new. The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

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Text - squeeful While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too. But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

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Chef - cryoverkiltmilk GIF by enjoythebits hopelessromanticinspace Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

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Text - nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear "Roses are red, violets are purple, My boner for you has caused me to hirple." My, how ramantic! wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman DYING. I AM DYING. kiranovember Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

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Text - theshitpostcalligrapher @kiranovember u better buy this as a commission Imao Roses are red Violets are purple Mybonerfor you has cAuSEd me to hirple

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Text - simonalkenmayer This post has evolved. gaymagicianhat I am 100 percent all for every part of this thread. I have laughed loudly and long. Thank you, thou glorious purple-hirple rhyme. Source: katelizabeth

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Tagged: poem , rhyming , history , awesome , lol , purple , silly , dirty , funny , stupid
       
 
 
   
   
   

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