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2020/12/31

Entitled Goof Tries to Get Designer to Work for Free and more...

For some stupid reason, people think they can bully artists into drawing stuff for them. Seriously, this happens a lot, like this artist who trolled entitled fans who asked for free drawings. That said, every entitled individual with unreasonable ...

 

Entitled Goof Tries to Get Designer to Work for Free and more...


 In This Issue...



Entitled Goof Tries to Get Designer to Work for Free

For some stupid reason, people think they can bully artists into drawing stuff for them. Seriously, this happens a lot, like this artist who trolled entitled fans who asked for free drawings. That said, every entitled individual with unreasonable demands is an opportunity to make a jerk look dumb.

1.

Text - I said Hello. Včera 11:41 odp. Iam sorry for the late response What can I help you with? Včera, 11:42 odp. / Webdesign w/ logo Show me your latest work in mobile design category. I want someone good. Včera. 11:44 odp. Okay, give me few moments Včera, 11:45 odp. / why ime Nutrition Activity START Overview Mobile Fitness App dribbble.com I an show you full design with prototype if needed Včera, 11:47 odp. /

2.

Text - No need, it looks really good. What do you need for start? Včera. 11:48 odp. Basic explanation of your projects + some examples how would you like your design to look like And your budget for the project I will calculate the price Včera, 11:50 odp. / It will be mobile app. CS.GO skins gambling platform My budget is 2 000 Dollars, but everything will go to developers Včera. 11:53 odp. Do you know that I am not designing for free, right? Vřara 11:55 odn / Being developer is a lot harder tha

3.

Text - Developers need to learn computer langugae. I can design it by myself, and all l need it microsoft paint and 20 minutes of my time 12:00 dop. If you think that it's that easy you are free to design it by yourself 12:02 dop. YOU are the designer.not me. Besides.i have better things to do 12:06 dop. Okay, I am done with you Have a nice evening 12:07 dop. Okay. dude l am sorry I just meant that i have a lot work now 12:09 dop. You here? You know what?i will find someone better,who will be ho

4.

Text - Man we both wrong-ups grown-ups cant you just make a logo? You dont charge for logo, right? dude it will take you 3 minutes 3 minutes of your free time you will spend on doing bullshit anyways I an do it in 2 Thats the spirit! Name is CSFelix i will let you use your own creativity as long as it looks good No worries, it will certainly look very epic

5.

Text - CS felix It took me a while, but here you go! Enjoy your free logo within 2 minutes! You are more than welcome to use my services in the future :) Is this some kind of bad joke??? Who is it in background? Why it isnt cropped Alsowhy it looks so cheap?? I trusted you and this is it??? I cannot believe that you have positive reviews this is bullshit go eat fucking ass you piece of shit and burn in hell with your extra moeny you will make You dont even deserve our fucking oxygen you degenera

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Parents With Identical Twins That Accidentally Switched The Kids

Someone on AskReddit asked for parents that accidentally switched their kids to share their experiences. Can't imagine the kind of embarrassing panic that must've ensued after these discoveries. 

1.

Text - Ambly_Andberg • 48m A bit late to the party - I'm not a parent but two of my brothers are twins. Unfortunately, twin 1 passed away about a year ago. During the wake we had TONS of pictures of him, like way more than even I expected. And one thing my mom would do with them whenever we were somewhere or doing something photo- worthy is take three pictures - one of each twin and then both together. About halfway through the wake my family realized my mom had accidentally chosen one picture o

2.

Text - AverageGirl_8 • 2h I had a classmate that has a twin sister. One day we - me, her twin, her and her boyfriend - went from school by train. Classmate sat with her boyfriend and I sat with her sister. Boyfriend had to use the toilet and when he was gone, they got an idea - apparently they never tried to switch to see if he would notice. So, they quickly switched some clothes (they were dressed similarly), changed their hair styles and switched the seats. When he came back, he looked at one,

3.

Text - frumpy_teapot • 3h My dad has an identical twin. Until I was about four years old they'd sometimes pretend to be the other to mess with me. After that age I could pretty easily tell them apart, but I couldn't (and still can't) really articulate how to do it to other people. It was just like "it's easy, my uncle has a softer face." They have identical-looking noses, cheekbones, jawlines, facial hair, etc. Neither is really noticeably fatter than the other or anything. Looking at them side

4.

Text - I'm an identical twin (the older and better one, which I will rub in his face forever). Its a bit embarrassing but my parents were kinda lucky as Thad a a small birthmark on my penis. Nothing gross or any, just a small pretty circular dark spot slightly left of center on top of the shaft. When we were babies my dad used to lovingly call us Spot and Not. So in the first few days he would say "I changed Spot, Not was clean but he's due." The embarrassing part is the nickname stuck, but only

5.

Text - biscuit729 • 2h At my school we have this weekend trip where we go to a camp for the weekend. I had met this one girl (I'll call her J). When we went back to school,I saw her in the hallway and said “Hi J!" Since I go to a huge school (1,000 kids per grade) I didn't know she had a twin sister until the girl said "Sorry not J, I'm G, J is my twin sister."

6.

Text - unnaturalorder • 5h Since this is a fun question that hasn't gotten | many responses, I will say I knew a set of identical triplets in highschool who'd sometimes go into one another's classes and mess with people. Made for a fun April Fool's day joke.

7.

Text - masterhitptl • 5h Obligatory not a parent but my sisters are identical twins and our parents kept them apart by the freckle one of them had ( has? ) on a toe.

8.

Text - Juvat • 4h Mine are only 16 months old, but to us they look different. They have different head shapes. Normally a baby will "settle" in the pelvic bone leading up to birth. Well, they both can't do that so one has a more round head while the other's is more oval. So while they have the same features, their head shapes gives them each their own appearance. One has a faint birth mark on his left arm, so I will know if they ever try any tom-foolery or bamboozlement. I will say I verbally ge

9.

Text - themagicalmrking • 4h Took all three to the park. I have boy/girl twins. Twin 1 had a big purple star on the back of her coat. Hood up, She was sliding down the twisty slide. I got distracted by the other two. I had had enough so scooped the kids up to go home. To my horror I had picked up the wrong kid! This other little girl had the same big purple star on her coat. She was the exact same size and everything. Hood up too. I only noticed when her dad yelled at me "oi! That my kid!" No ha

10.

Text - stephcasa • 2h Wow im hearing about a lot of male identical twins. I wonder if there is a less probability of female identical twins. My twin sister was quite the rascal when we were young so she convinced me that we should switch classes. We were i think in second or third grade. Turned out she had a quiz. I still remember the pale green paper and just staring at it lol.

11.

Text - sionnach • 5h Honestly, pretty much every parent of identical twins will tell you that they don't really look all that alike to them. Obviosuly on the surface they do, but I don't think we've ever mistook one for the other. It's not one big thing that makes them different, it's lots of small things that you'd only really notice if you spent every day with them.

12.

Text - Wtf_another_throw • 3h Am father of identical twin toddler boys and a 9 month old so think I feel qualified to answer this one. Since my wife feels its soo0000 cute to dress them the same ("until they will tell us they dont want to") this happens a lot more than one may think acceptable. There are some very small tells that I can find on each, like one has a slightly different head shape and another has a vein on his forehead in a more distinct pattern from the other. Still hard to tell i

13.

Text - xabrol • 2h Not a parent of twins, but when I was in school I was in classes with someone who had an identical twin. Their parents had divorced though and each twin lived with a different parent, one with Mom and one with Dad, but in the same zip code and they swapped out on the regular, weekend with mom and weekend with dad etc. Sometimes they would swap out which school they went to that week and since they were in different elem/middle/high school districts (but in the same zip code) n

14.

Text - mantistoboggan69md • 5h So with very few answers, I'll answer this with a summer camp story. We were playing capture the flag, but the teams got to hide their flag. Well each team in my game had a twin on each team, and the one on my team walked over to the other teams side and asked to be reminded where their flag was. He grabbed it and ran back before anyone noticed it was the wrong one

15.

Text - squidnaay • 3h My mom is an identical twin (mirror twins), her twin lives across the country but when they get together they find it hilarious to get the same haircut, dress the same and even record voicemails for each other (her twin has a slightly stronger accent). There was nothing more frustrating as a teenager than coming home and lamenting to my mom and suddenly she goes "I'm not your mom HAHAHAHA". When they were kids, they often swapped dates with each other and my mom even tricke

16.

Text - aylgar • 4h I'm a fraternal twin (despite this we looked exactly the same when we were little). As an infant my grandmother fed my sister twice thinking she had fed the two of us. Edit: Wow I didn't think I would get this many upvotes. I'm glad y'all found it hilarious, we still laugh about it to this day. My twin sister and I till look alike but not as much as we used to.

17.

Text - zoe_in_the_wild • 3h My cousin has 2 sets of twins. They are 21 months apart. She can tell them all apart. They are all teen boys now and damned if anybody else can. Not even their dad.The younger ones look like the older ones too, so that complicates things even more. (It's like she and her spouse are running an illegal cloning operation out of their home.) Good kids all of them ,they take advantage of their situations to hilarious levels. They love cosplaying storm troopers at conventio

18.

Text - svenson_26 • 3h Identical twin here. When I was 4, we were at Disney World with all my cousins who are around the same age. I wandered off for just a minute, and my family took that time to move on to go somewhere else. When my mom was doing a head count, my brother moved and she counted him twice, so it took them a few minutes to realize I was lost. Some nice strangers saw I was crying and noticed I was lost, and helped look for my family. My dad eventually spotted me, and hopped over a

19.

Text - Swaggy J59 • 4h Coached high school football for a few years, and there was identical twins on the team. During two a days, one of the boys was hearing a crop shirt under his shoulder pads, and I was able to notice he had a giant scar on his stomach from appendix surgery Anyway, I was very excited because I thought this be the way I could start to distinguish between the kids! Turned out both of the boys had their appendix taken out, so I had to go back to the drawing board on that one. B

20.

Text - pazureaus • 3h Not a parent of twins but... I was in algebra with a boy who's a twin. As a newer kid I didn't realize he had a twin and I never saw them together. One day I borrowed a pencil from him during class. The next day, in class, I give it back. He was confused as fuck. I was confused as fuck as to why he was so damn confused, but he took the pencil anyways, then promptly walked over to his brother who was in the same goddamn class to return the stupid pencil. They sat next to one

21.

Text - purplechicken17 • 2h On my highschool swim team we had a pair of identical twins. For anyone that doesn't know how swimming works, there are four different strokes: backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, and freestyle. An IM (individual medley) is when all stroke are put into one race One of the twins (A) was better at backstroke than twin (B). Meanwhile, B was better at breaststroke. At this particular meet, our coach decided to put them together in an IM relay where A would swim breaststr

22.

Text - DoOoOo0 • 3h NachoOoOc Mom of identicals here. Not really one moment -- yet-- but I had them by c-section and for some reason it's always bothered me that I may have gotten them mixed up when we finally took the hospital bracelets off. They had no real differences as infants so I think about that at least 5 times a day. They're 4 now.

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Dad Memes for the Dads Out There

If you're a dad, know a dad, or have even seen a dad these will resonate with extra fatherly dad-ishness. Here are some dad memes to keep those dads going through these dark times. There's just a lot of rad dad memes to achieve dad dreams.

1.

Transport - Dad: “Keep that dog away from me." Also Dad: bdwalkyogut SENC

2.

Text - Nathan Usher @thenatewolf HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.

3.

Text - 13:48 1 Tweet Ms. Mouthpiece @Victoryoftheppl Apple Maps: Our artisanal cartographers hope you enjoy this pleasant journey. 28 min Google Maps: Our algorithm has determined an optimal path for the most efficient route given current traffic conditions. 25 min Waze: Drive through this dude's living room. 17 min 25/01/2018, 00:11

4.

Dog - She want to leave his ass but he a good father

5.

Cartoon - I'M SAD THAT MY KIDS WON'T LEARN ABOUT CLASSICAL MUSIC THE WAY THATI DID FROM ACROSS DRESSING RABBIT

6.

Text - joegarbe @gojarbe [gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway

7.

Text - When she comes home horny but you've just knocked one out

8.

Photograph - -Mom, am I ugly? -I told you not to call me mom in front of people IG: Lei.Ying.Lo

9.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland A dad's favorite part of vacation is acting like he's better than everyone else because he woke up the earliest. <>

10.

Cat - This the look your girl gives you everytime a guy does something romantic on TV

11.

Text - how i sleep knowing my ex is out there fucking up someone else's life & not mine anymore

12.

Text - Ithought my 6 year old was smuggling a pipe into school, it's just a kazoo, either way he's grounded

13.

Canidae - Two actual pictures of me showing my everyday life

14.

Text - lee @_leebron My girlfriend told me she would suck John Mayer's dick in front of her own dad because she loves him so much. I said the girl on a netflix show we were watching was cute and she got mad and told me to watch it by myself. 4/1/18, 11:05 PM

15.

Text - The Dad THE DAD @thedad [House has collapsed] Fireman: Your dad is stuck underneath, I'm not sure we'll find him in time Me: *steps nearer* GUESS II'LL BE DOING ALL THE GRILLING FROM NOW ON *rubble starts to move*

16.

Text - E$ @erinlyman36 Do you ever think about how hard you're working to do well in life and then realize an 8 year old boy yodelled in Walmart for two minutes and is already more successful than you

17.

Fashion - GRAMMY AWARDS GR GRAMMY AWA GRA A YOU COULD BE IN SLAYER and your teenage daughter will still think your lame.

18.

Product - Therapist: what's wrong? Me: she thinks I insult her in my memes My stupid wife Karen: he does. G. TheFunylatrovert

19.

Leg - Soysauce Shawty @SoysauceShawty Follow When he stops cuddling u & sleeps facing the other way RETWEETS LIKES 20,955 40,769

20.

Text - Tea Only! @Demigodace Name one thing you wanna try in the bedroom Justin Grome @JustinGrome getting a full 8 hours of sleep

21.

Forehead - To prove he was home alone, Iwould like to present my client's internet search history from that evening. I'd rather just confess to the murder.

22.

Text - Do my parentsS realize I could be out doing drugs & being a hoe but nope l'm terrible bc I leave cups in my room

23.

Text - when your parents ruin your day then act like they didn't ruin your day and ask why you're in a bad mood

24.

Facial expression - Every new mom's facebook: "How adorable is my baby girl!?"

25.

Text - Andrew Fowler @fowlerism ME: I'm sorry for writing fake dialogue of us on twitter WIFE: *spoon-feeding me caviar* Well at least you have a huge penis 7/12/18, 10:47 AM 414 Retweets 1,982 Likes

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Tagged: dads , jokes , kids , parenting , Memes , lol , dad , family , funny
       
 

Things That Seem Hard but are Actually Pretty Easy

Some things seem incomprehensible if you don't have a background in them, but just giving it 30 minutes of effort or following directions makes a lot of things surprisingly easy. If this made you feel even slightly motivated, here are life hacks and tips for becoming a slightly more effective person.

1.

Text - H_Hardwick 60 points · 5 hours ago Solving 90% of IT problems. It mostly just equates to googling the issue and using solutions people who have came before have came up with. That last 10% is the tricky part though.

2.

Text - canceledthrowaway 88 points · 11 hours ago Sharpening a knife with a whetstone Yeah it takes a little bit of finesse to do, but if you passed middle school geometry and remember a basic understanding of what a right angle is and how to cut that in half, you'll have sharp knives again in no time

3.

Text - 3 S 11 spottydodgy 35.2k points · 13 hours ago O Fuck up your entire life.

4.

Text - deepfriedlies 24.2k points · 14 hours ago Using a PC. I've worked in a training capacity before and I found that most people's problems are not the difficulty, but rather being intimidated and feeling overwhelmed. Especially if you're a bit older and are just now sitting down to learn how to use one. Much like many things, if you take it slow - it's not bad. Once you get the hang of things, it seems silly to have stressed out about it. warmcopies 14.1k points · 10 hours ago 6 32 Yup. One

5.

Text - Valiantlycaustic 22.4k points · 11 hours ago 3 Basic sewing. Things like simple hemming, sewing buttons are easy to learn and will make your life easier. If you keep learning, it's amazing to be able to fit your own clothes.

6.

Text - whereegosdare84 18.6k points · 14 hours ago Baking. Can you follow a recipe? Can you measure? Can you time things with a clock? Then you can bake. Not saying it doesn't take a tremendous amount of skill to become a great baker but to make things like cookies or cakes that aren't from a mix, it's not that complicated yet everyone is amazed when you do it.

7.

Text - MagratMakeTheTea 11.4k points · 12 hours ago Crochet. It's just pulling loops through other loops in various combinations.

8.

Text - Nwsamurai 9.9k points · 14 hours ago Origami paper cranes Miriyl 7.0k points - 10 hours ago G It's a tradition here to have 1,000 cranes folded for weddings. (They're often done in gold foil, framed, and mounted.) My parents never did, so I decided to fold them for Christmas one year. By the time I was finished, I figured that I could probably fold one with both hands behind my back. So I tried it. Yes, I can.

9.

Text - riotacting 9.3k points · 13 hours ago Excel. If you can use basic logic, and know a couple of powerful formulas (if, index/match, sum, etc.), You can perform literal magic in the eyes of your coworkers.

10.

Text - SCP-867-5309 8.9k points · 14 hours ago Picking a standard pin-and-tumbler lock.

11.

Text - Narutophanfan1 8.5k points · 14 hours ago S Apparently using your turns signals

12.

Text - 20110719_ 7.3k points · 14 hours ago Tying a tie.

13.

Text - PrincePryda 5.9k points · 13 hours ago S Solving a rubiks cube. I don't know who gave me my first 3x3 cube, but I remember being in the 6th grade watching youtube videos on how to solve them. Once I understood how the algorithms worked, it was just a matter of memorizing them. Once you memorize them - it's game over. I remember showing all my friends how I could solve it with my eyes closed - they were shocked, as were my parents. The more impressed they became, the more worried I was tha

14.

Text - MemerDude34 5.4k points · 14 hours ago Driving stick, easiest thing ever once you're used to it

15.

Text - scamper1266 4.9k points · 12 hours ago Shuffling a deck of cards

16.

Text - hercarmstrong 4.9k points · 13 hours ago 3 Replacing parts on modern appliances such as dishwashers and clothes washers. 90% of them are plug and play. if you know what the problem is, you can figure out what part you need from the 'net, order it online, and replace it yourself with minimal effort. Save yourself hundreds of dollars, and feel like a boss.

17.

Text - _tokyojoe 4.4k points · 14 hours ago When I was young I tried to spin a ball on my finger and couldn't do it. So I tried again and again. And within an hour I pretty much figured it out.

18.

Text - vaaderrr 2.1k points · 13 hours ago Building computers. It's just adult Lego's.

19.

Text - maximumovarize 1.0k points · 12 hours ago Active listening. It's just listening to what people say to you and asking questions. You don't even have to ask hard questions. Sometimes you can just say something like "wow, that seems _" and it validates how they're feeling and makes them feel like you care. Because trust me, even the most oblivious of people tend to notice when people's eyes glaze over, even if they don't call you on it.

20.

Text - linzerlue 797 points · 12 hours ago Runing a pre programmed light board for theatre plays. Its hitting one button over and over on cue.

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Regrettable and Dumb Spelling Fails

School wasn't fun for any of us, but in the long run it can pay to know how to spell really basic stuff and not look like a moron in public. On a daily basis, people come in contact with a lot of spelling fails that make us curse our education system. At least spelling fails make someone feel smart.

1.

Text - or vanilla abstract in the oven, just don't put too much 63 S 2 Awards I only have post modern vanilla, will that be ok? 191

2.

Text - Cinema 5 Do you give señor discounts? IG Like D Answer Local Guide · 59 reviews · 10 photos a year ago They have "senior" discounts for people over the age of 65 with id. I do not think they have discounts for individuals that speak Spanish.

3.

Text - Kev Yesterday 2:48 AM is it allah cart? Lmaooo what? the restaurant, is it allah cart? It's a la carte you cement head

4.

Tattoo - gain No pen

5.

Food - Cersadtiaeens I got this cute little auto from my fam jam man

6.

Font - ur dog has Arthur write this? tragic mate hope she feels better soon O 31

7.

Text - I seriously need to stop going on snapchat...I just saw my double banger on bad parenting What's a double banger? 4h Like Reply someone who looks exactly like you... like your double, because we all have at least one person in the world that looks like you 4h Like Reply oh that is called a Doppleganger

8.

Text - My Mommy once said be careful it's a doggy dog i world O she was right !! Send message ...

9.

Text - 5 hrs Too shay Love From lylah O Like Page 15 Dec. at 2:58 pm • O I am a strong woman, raising a strong girl. Which is why I need a strong drink. @100PERCENT THATMOM

10.

Text - clientsfromhell Client: Do you do lemonade? Me: Do we do... lemonade? Client: Yes, I was told you do that here. Me: I'm sorry, this is a graphics and print shop. Client: I know that. I'm not an idiot. Me: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - Client: Look If you can't lemonade these papers for me then l'll go somewhere else! Me: Do you mean... laminate?

11.

Text - I'm 26 not 25 lol Single mom and dog mom lol Don't have alotta time to spare so don't waste it G CAPRICORN. So l'm a lover but a fighter Your gonna have to message me first Shivery is not dead so you know what to do.

12.

Text - I think if Bernie Sanders Changed his name on the ballot to "Coronal Sanders" he'd probably take down this Election 100- O Like A Share Comment

13.

Text - Even the smallest jesters make a big difference O Like N Send Comment

14.

Text - 6:47 37° Marketplace Ren Vehicles Stores Local Sell Listing Detail 12 hours ago Curved samsung 55 inch tv $20 Cracked screen still watch a bowl Send seller a message Send Is this still available? Today's Picks PokéNav Item II 13

15.

Text - Christmas is here, hoping it brings with it good luck and cheer Many Your Huve T Happy Christmas Phosphorus New Year o WELLWISHER SHRI SANJAYBHAI R. TURDE

16.

Room - 1 63% 10:55 PM al AT&T ? AMY RMHOUS star wars light savors (used) $20 Listed 10 hours ago Send seller a message Is this still available? Send

17.

Text - You ARE TRUST PASSNG g NRITCF ESEUON e he Sai NEED A Key Too You ROOM 24 HE NOICE

18.

Text - like a friend of mines did you see decade glow up Ye He had a giraffes dick differents ??? like the difference was big? Yeah... I said that? y'all said giraffes dick tho Yeah the word... homie you meant drastic... Read Yesterday

19.

Glass - Who was the girls name 10:35 AM Cadence 10:37 AM That name don't sound familiar do you have a pitcher 10:43 AM MMS There but I dont know how that helps 10:59 AM

20.

Furniture - Otter man $25 O 44236 Otter man blue/gray

21.

Text - Зк > I'm not sure what I missed doing but the edges were Like eating hard clear plastic I even put 10 foil loosely over the top of them 3 13h Like Reply View 3 more replies

22.

Backpack - Item 1 of 2 Last item available Pirates hats with realistic hair, Pirates of the curry bean ? GBP 14.84 +GBP 5.50 postaqe

23.

Text - Label the laboratory equipment symbols: bung and burner b a funnel 2 Identify the hazard symbols 1.

24.

Lane - PayPolnt DRIVER ONE TED

25.

Text - ... I move at my own paste 4 Comments O Like A Share Comment

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Funny Tweets about God Making Animals

The features and behaviors of different animals are so varied and weird and specific that it makes you wonder what kind of thinking would have went into them. A lot of these tweets about animal designs feel like a real "5 pm on a friday" kind of job. People put a lot of thought into how god would've made plants and animals.

1.

Text - @ L @ N @LikeAlwaysWrong *god creating alligator* G: See that log? Angel: yeah? G: Fill it with teeth A: Say again? G: FILL IT!

2.

Text - Text - milty @themiltron [god creating jellyfish] how bout an evil bag

3.

Text - jackson @tricycle_champ [god making bats] GOD: just like a hairy black potato with wings ANGEL: um GOD: ANGEL: god? GOD: also it sleeps upside down like an idiot

4.

Text - Text - Poorly Drawn Turtle @NoTheOtherJohn Follow [God creating the Walrus] GOD: What if a dog bear fish- ANGEL: U mean a seal? GOD: Yea yea. What if one of those fucked a saber tooth tiger?

5.

Text - Text - tater tot bros y Follow @thetits [God inventing the hippo] How bout a fat horse that's always trying to sneak up on you in a pool

6.

Text - @DisObeyJay *God creating Hyenas* So, it's a cat dog with jaws of steel Angel: Sweet G: But it laughs like Fran Drescher A: TF is wrong with you

7.

Text - Text - When We emery lord Collided @emerylord God, making cats: black! white! stripes! Jesus: no i need a fancy one God: ...ok, this one has socks. Jesus: more. God: ...tuxedo. done.

8.

Text - Text - Nathan Buckley Follow @duplicitron When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.

9.

Text - an pigeon, @imskytrash Follow [god creating spiders] what if i made a tiny land octopus that could walk on walls

10.

Text - Text - dan mentos @DanMentos [god inventing horses] make a sexy donkey

11.

Text - Text - Olly @Chumpstring y Follow [god creating the turtle] Just trap that nasty lizard in an army helmet.

12.

Text - jackson @tricycle_champ Follow [god making chimps] GOD: shrink a gorilla & make it smart ANGEL: Ok. And what sound should it make? G: literally just have it fucking scream

13.

Text - FRO VO Follow @fro_vo *god making chihuahuas* how bout a big nervous wall-eyed rat

14.

Text - tomsauced @trojansauce [god creating moles] GOD: lol make it blind ANGEL: erm.. ok GOD: haha and deaf ANGEL: why? GOD: haha just cos

15.

Text - Sam Grittner Follow @SamGrittner "Jam that tiger in that dolphin." - God creating sharks

16.

Text - audrey farnsworth @audipenny y Follow [god, creating ducks] Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know

17.

Text - Olly @Chumpstring y Follow [god creating the fox] How about a red catdog?

18.

Text - milty @themiltron Follow [god creating cats] this fat squirrel lives indoors

19.

Text - Viktor Winetrout Follow @Cpin42 [god creating turtles] How about a dick-faced rock with four legs?

20.

Text - Jhorts Follow @JhonRules [god making an emu] how about you just take that pile of hay and give it legs i'm gonna go on a smoke break

21.

Text - O Good Account O y Follow @SortaBad [God creating the kangaroo] "Okay how about like an alive backpack that jumps around"

22.

Text - Olly @Chumpstring Follow [god creating the owl] How about an old-man bird?

23.

Text - milty @themiltron [god creating bees] Put a needle on its butt. "Come on God, wha-" Make its puke delicious. "WTF."

24.

Text - AKA Dave Follow @Dahmerscookpot God creating kittens G-make them really fluffy & adorable like little furry hugs Angel-that's so swee.. G-& put razor blades on their feet

25.

Text - Bownuggets @Bownuggets [God creating praying mantis] Make an insect that does karate Angel: k Now make it bite her husband's head off Angel: dude we need to talk

26.

Text - @matt_ nelson [God creating spiders] "Make it have 8 legs" Seems excessive but ok "And 8 eyes" You need to calm down a li- "Give it a butt rope"

27.

Text - jackson @tricycle_champ [god making pandas] GOD: cow bears ANGEL: what GOD: did i fucken stutter ANGEL: GOD: take it a cow and make it a bear

28.

Text - GoaT FacE @EndhooS [God creating a turkey] God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock... Animal technician: Anything else? God: Hang a nut-sack on it's face lol

29.

Text - milty @themiltron [god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time

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Tagged: god , jokes , lol , tweets , silly , funny tweets , funny , animals
       
 

Woman Calls Off Wedding After Fiancee Complains About Wedding Dress

This guy decided to take to Reddit and ask people whether or not he was in the wrong for arguing with his newly ex fiancee over the extravagant cost of a wedding dress. His biggest flop of all here was that he used her real name, which apparently resulted in people creating fake accounts pretending to be her. What a nightmare. Goes to show that sometimes you really can spare yourself a life of trouble by not airing out your dirty laundry online. 

1.

Text - AITA I (38 m) for telling my fiancee ( f 27)her wedding dress choice is way too extravagant and suggesting alternatives? Asshole sorry on mobile and throwaway as she's a redditor We are getting married in july of this year,the venue is booked and the wedding is pretty much sorted.

2.

Text - Emma has been researching dresses and has a little scrap book of lots of dresses she likes for idea's but is now looking to buy. All that's left to get is the bridesmaid dresses and her wedding dress. We jointly put aside 10 k each for the wedding, everything is paid and we have 6 k left over which i think could go towards the honeymoon on top of the honeymoon fund we already had.

3.

Text - We aren't the extravagant type at all, then comes the time for emma to pick her dress. I know everything is more expensive when it has the term wedding attatched to it what i wasn't expecting was an $950 dress plus $120 veil! I'm using my dad's old tux he used for his wedding to my mom,just had it taken in a little, Emma can't use her mum's dress as her and her mum both say the style hasn't aged well wich is fair.

4.

Text - I had a quick google around at dresses online and there were so many! and so many just like the one emma wants for like $50 to $100. I'm not trying to get her to cheap out on her dress but she will literally wear it once, one dress for over $1000 is just insane that would fund our honeymoon . I tried to show her some dresses i found on a reccomended app called wish and others on website's but she was having none of it. She is very slender but apparantly wants it specially fitted? It turne

5.

Text - Wich isn't strictly true as we ate about to marry and our finances will be joined. Then her mom had to get involved, they offered to pay for the dress but it's not a case of not being able to afford it. It's a dress! there are identical one's online at a fraction of the cost.

6.

Text - I thought she would be ecstatic to learn there are identical dresses for a fraction of the cost but she was really angry and upset. AITA here? is there something i am seriously missing because after we argued about the dress emma has been Extremely cold towards me. Then yestersay she said if i want her to cheap out on her wedding dress on her wedding day that she needs to really consider if we are a good match for marriage. Im blown away that she would say that over a dress, i told her sh

7.

Text - You're wearing your dad's tux, so you don't feel an immediate cost there, but I guarantee that suit wasn't cheap when it was new. You want her to walk down the isle in a cheap costume wedding dress while you wear tux. And she will look like a joke in that scenario. YTA.

8.

Text - Cocoasneeze • 2d • Certified Proctologist [21] YTA. You are suggesting she get married in a $50- $100 dress, and then when her parents offered to pay for her dress, it's not even about the money for you. You literally want to control what she wears, an adult woman.

9.

Text - FreeFrizzyGrizzly • 2d YTA no offense but you have no idea what you're talking about. I assure you the $100 dress is not the "same exact dress", it's a cheap knockoff (which is what the wish app is known for). Also yes, the dress needs to be fitted to her proportions, it would be very unusual for anyone to fit perfectly into an off the rack size gown perfectly with no alterations. $950 is actually not bad at all for a wedding gown including alterations. I understand if you have different

10.

Text - ianunderfoot • 2d • Partassipant [1] Dude... YTA. To say it once, whatever, okay, she's heard your opinion. This is her day just as much as it is your day. We jointly put aside 10 k each for the wedding, everything is paid and we have 6 k left over she argued that she is using her own money She is, by your own admission. Her parents even offered to pay for the dress, because they wanted their daughter to have her day her way and clearly money is of no concern. That should have been the en

11.

Text - Gumbo-Mumbo • 2d YTA The wedding dress may not be important to you, but it's clearly important to her. You didn't "discuss" this with her, you just told her: i told her she's like a toddler throwing a tantrum over a sparkly toy she can't have, that was a mistake as she left to stay with her parent's, who called to tell me i am much more than an asshole. Yeaaaah.

12.

Text - Dry-Expression • 2d • Partassipant [3] SHE CANNOT GET A SIMILAR DRESS FOR $100!!! Why would you think that?? You are SO WRONG. It is stupid and arrogant to think you can base what a dress is like off a picture. Those dresses you found online are often VERY cheaply made. $1,000 is standard for a dress and getting it fitted is the norm. She is reacting this way NOT because of the dress but because: you are being arrogant and stubborn about SOMETHING YOU CLEARLY DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT. She's

13.

Text - LaurenMarieHart • 2d 3 1 Award YTA. You are a massive fucking asshole here, I can't get over it. As most people have clearly stated, the price she has found for the wedding dress she wants is not unreasonable at all compared to the average. The irony of you talking about how you saved 10k each of your own money, but then referring to her share of the 10k as also yours cus you'll be married in a few months is just ridiculous. You are not married yet, it is not your money you lunatic. Why o

14.

Text - milee30 • 2d • Craptain [187] 3 3 Awards YTA. You say you don't want her to cheap out, but then you say you want her to buy a $50 -$100 wedding dress. That's cheap. That's cheap even for a regular dress. Those cheap dresses you're finding online will look terrible in person and are the source of so many disappointed women and jokes. Wedding dresses and their tailoring are expensive. $1000 is actually a low priced dress. Regardless of dress type, though, your reaction to her - calling her

15.

Text - beachiestsnob• 2d • Partassipant [2] YTA. 1000 times over. I also thinking you're trolling, because no one can be as oblivious as you.

16.

Text - tch98 • 2d • Partassipant [2] YTA MASSIVELY - a $50 wedding dress is going to look like absolute crap, like it will have dodgy stitching and fake ass dimantes on it and yes, people will know it's cheap af, it will look tacky, and she will always look back on the wedding day feeling shit about it. The dress is so so so important. She put 5 Grand in, she can put $950 towards a dress she's probably been thinking about since she was 5 years old. Her wedding day is the one day she gets to be a

17.

Text - Timmetie • 2d • Asshole Aficionado [17] i told her she's like a toddler throwing a tantrum over a sparkly toy she can't have YTA, Emma just found out why a 38 year old was with a 27 year old and what you think of her opinion. She's completely right by the way, a 50 to 100 dollar dress?! Wanna bet your tux would cost more to buy new and fitted? 1000 is on the cheap end. Also it is her money, you obviously have zero respect for her once she doesn't do exactly what you want her to do.

18.

Text - queenoreo • 2d • Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] Wow, you just jumped right in there with an opinion not knowing anything about how wedding dresses, women's bodies or dreams actually work. A $100 wedding dress isn't likely going to be what she's always wanted unless her Fairy Godmother stops by. Alterations on a cheaply made dress going to cost money. Oh and, HELLO many women dream about their wedding day for years and no where does the dream end with “oh cool, I found one that kind of sort of l

19.

Text - maraudingmarauderb • 2d YTA Do you want to see your bride's dress desintegrate before your eyes while she walks down the aisle? Because that is what you'll get if you make her buy a $50 wedding dress. The problem here is that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, you put in some half- assed internet search and assumed that you knew more about a topic than your fiancé who has been carefully researching her dress for months. It's her wedding and her money, if she wants to

20.

Text - Madam_Cholet • 2d • Partassipant [3] YTA. How much do you think wedding dresses cost? That's not an extravagant dress, that's a wedding dress.

21.

Text - bitchy_badger • 2d • Asshole Enthusiast [7] YTA- only because you are clueless. $950 for a dress is actually on the cheaper side of things. And no one wants to risk their wedding dress by ordering online and having it be horribly wrong. Go search for online dresses gone wrong it is horrifying and hilarious. But not what you want for your wedding Edit: took the "soft" out of my YTA after reading OPs responses. Definitely TA definitely

22.

Text - poetinahat • 2d • Professor Emeritass [74] YTA. Wedding dresses are expensive. No one wants a cheaper, "identical" knock off for their wedding dress, especially if they can afford the genuine one. It's her wedding. I thought you were going to say the dress she wants is like 3k+ or something. A thousand dollars for a wedding dress is not bad at all, actually. You should watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC, or just research the average cost of wedding dresses. You'll find that your wife isn't

23.

Text - TL;DR fiancee can get similar dress for around $100 with shipping online but wants to blow over $1000 at a local wedding dress boutique aita for saying to get a cheaper one online? EDIT: Emma found this thread, it was a mistake to post here and im sorry i posted our problems on reddit, iata

24.

White - relationships.txt @redditships Replying to @AITA_reddit The full update post:

25.

Text - Me [23f] with my fiancee[43 M] of 1 and a half years, he has humiliated me just a few months before our wedding over my dress and I dont know what to do. [new] • throwawaywedding22 29 minutes ago relationships 88% upvoted i will change the name despitehis inability to do the same i don't really care if he sees this but he isn't subbed to relationships i literally don't know where to start, my fiancee we'll call greg. i dont know what came over him, its completely insane, we are getting ma

26.

Text - he got utterly hammared last night and called my parents, my dad had to hang up on him because he was screaming down the phone and my mom was disgusted. i cant get my money back on the venue or anything, i recently started antidepressants because l've been feeling low but now i just feel empty. this whole thing was about the cost of my dress and he suggested i use the wish app to get an identical gown, first he refused to listen to me that wish is garbage but he also argued it to the deat

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Strange and Interesting Chairs

Here are some clever and creative implements for sitting. Some of them even look comfortable. If you think these designs are too well thought out, then here are some design fails that were someone's one job. And for a way less comfortable place to sit, here are some toilets with threatening auras.

1.

Pink

2.

Outdoor play equipment

3.

Automotive design

4.

Rib

5.

Wood

6.

Furniture

7.

Head

8.

Porcelain

9.

Blue

10.

Grass

11.

Food - 00000 00000 G00000

12.

Turquoise

13.

White

14.

Furniture

15.

Chair

16.

Furniture

17.

Red

18.

Green

19.

Pink

20.

Shopping cart

21.

Furniture

22.

Garden roses

23.

Chair

24.

Furniture

25.

Furniture

26.

Pineapple

27.

Cactus

28.

Product

29.

Sculpture

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Painfully Dumb Questions That Introverts Are Asked

Introverted Twitter users are banding together to share their best lot of painfully dumb questions that they're just plain old tired of being asked. For people that already need time to recharge, these kinds of questions are especially excruciating. 

1.

Text - April @AprilLloyd90 Them: "Your phone is ringing." Me: "I don't recognise the number, and I am not expecting a call..." Them: "So why don't you answer it and find out?" #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

2.

Text - A Bartlett Photo @PhotoBartlett Why don't you come down the pub? There'll be loads of us there. #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

3.

Text - Alisun Jane @AlisunJane Are you upset our plans got cancelled? #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

4.

Text - Moiself @ReniRenz2 Why are you quiet? #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

5.

Text - PunDM C ENDIT @_pundmc INE A LIGHT ON SLAVER "It must be boring being home by yourself." #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

6.

Text - Leslie @uptodahouse "Why are you always in your room?" Or "Why do you never leave the house?" #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

7.

Text - Regina DeMita @DemitaRegina How can you call yourself an introvert, you seem so outgoing! #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

8.

Text - Amy Steward @amyoutrageous The worst question: "Why are you so quiet?" Answer: because I don't like talking if I have nothing to add and I don't like interrupting people. If I tell them why, they've already stopped listening or decided to tell me why l'm quiet. #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

9.

Text - Rewdalf @Rewdalf "Why won't you just call them and order the damn pizza?" #StupidQuestionsForlntroverts

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A Collection Of Slightly Entertaining Tweets

Sometimes Twitter actually delivers. 

1.

Text - .Mela. @mela_shea Publisher: so it's a kids book about the negative effects of peer pressure? Dr. Seuss: no no, it encourages it Publisher: oh Dr. Seuss: and it rhymes Publisher: listen I really don't think- Dr. Seuss: there's also ham Publisher: keep talking 12/28/19 · Twitter for iPhone 10:29 AM

2.

Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts Me: goodnight son I love you. Зуо: Me: I said I love you. 3yo: I love milk. Me: okay. *unplugs nightlight* 9:25 PM · 1/7/20 · Twitter for iPhone

3.

Text - Not the Nanny @notthenanny Current Status: Helping my kid look for her Milky Way bar I ate a couple hours ago. 7:00 PM · 12/28/19 - Twitter for iPhone

4.

Table - Pats A' Tweetin @PatsATweetin My kids are gonna give me a god damn heart attack

5.

Text - Motley @MotleyTheMutt Dear Science, You cloned a sheep named Dolly when you could have cloned a llama. A llama named Dolly. A Dolly Llama. That is all. Send. 11:15 AM · 1/9/20 · Twitter for iPhone

6.

Text - Dr. Quim, Medicine Woman @CindyTakesBKLYN Me: The thing is, I've never been in a real relationship with a woman before. It's all new to me. So is it weird that I named her boobs over Christmas, but she hasn't named mine yet? Pharmacist: I meant questions about your prescription. 2:50 PM · 1/13/20 · Twitter Web App

7.

Text - conscious robot @robots_feel wife: i found drugs in our sons bedroom, talk to him [later] me: [sighing] ok so ur mom's a narc 6:10 AM - 1/9/20 · Twitter for Android

8.

Text - Vision Bored @VisionBored1 Son: Can I have some? Me, mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy you won't like it. 9:43 PM · 1/5/20 · Twitter for iPhone 0....:

9.

Text - Neanderthal_Jones @1_dingle Me - excuse me, whats the wifi password here? Him - ill tell you if you blow me Me - very funny. seriously, whats the password Him - im not joking Me - *wiping mouth* ok now tell me Him - *tightening belt* i already told you, ill tell you if you blow me, no caps no spaces 10:00 PM · 1/5/20 · Twitter for Android

10.

Text - amber ruffin @ambermruffin Me: I really have my shit together. I'm doing a good job and feel successful. Also me: My couch is being held up by a can of beans. OYA Kidney Beans uelas Coloradas PREMIUM

11.

Text - Paul Barbar @paulbarbar_I| My lady doctor just flirted with me. She told me that I'm toO sweet. Well, her exact words were, "severely diabetic", but I know what she really meant. 11:01 am 25 Dec 19 Twitter for iPhone

12.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Me: I'm sick. Do we have any ginger ale? Wife: No, just ginger beer. Me: Does it work the same? Wife:I don't know. [9 Moscow Mules later] Me [on front lawn, naked except for cowboy boots]: IT WERKS BETTAHhhhh 7:31 AM 1/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

13.

Text - Elisabeth @YourMomsucksTho Most of being an adult is whispering "fuck this" while doing it anyway 9:07 PM · 11/13/19 · Twitter Web App

14.

Text - Sir Michael @Michael1979 MY TOP 3 PROBLEMS WITH THE SUN 1. I do NOT approve of its plan to consume Earth in 7 billion years. THAT'S WHERE I LIVE 2. Why am I banned from looking at it? I'LL STARE AT THE SUN ANYTIME I WANT 3. STOP STRENGTHENING MY ENEMIES BY GIVING THEM FREE VITAMIN D, YOU STUPID SUN 4:18 PM · 1/6/20 · TweetDeck

15.

Text - the drake gatsby @DrakeGatsby If you ever start thinking you're cool, walk down a really steep hill 3:46 PM · 1/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

16.

Text - Pigeon Fancier @isabelzawtun I love seeing people panic at karaoke when they realize how long & repetitive their song is. Will I be singing My Sharona forever?! Their eyes plead 9:33 AM - 1/7/20 · Twitter Web App

17.

Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unic... @XplodingUnicorn 7-year-old: How'd you learn to do that? Me: Do what? 7: Put hot dogs in the macaroni? Me: A wizard taught me. 4:36 PM 12/30/19 · Twitter for Android

18.

Text - Chad Johnson @ochocinco McRib is $4.19 2 Thighz & A Biscuit @BigBootyJu... · 21h Niggas will eat a McRib before they eat ass. Help me understand this logic 12:06 PM · 1/14/20 · Echofon

19.

Text - Glenn @Shenaniglenns Him: we're being attacked by a UFO Me: are they human? Him: no they're- Me [clenches fist]: then they are dancer 12:13 PM · 1/9/20 · Twitter for iPhone

20.

Text - .:RiotGrl:. @RiotGrIErin Patti LaBelle: Hi Patti LaBraille: · ·* Translate Tweet 3:16 AM · 1/7/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Parent Forgets What Day It Is, Thinks Kid Got Taken

This parent had a rough night of sleep, and proceeded to fall into such a mental fog that they forgot what day it was, and literally forget that their kid was at school. The pure panic that they must've endured upon waking up from that deep slumber, and assuming that their kid had been taken must've been the stuff of nightmares. 

1.

Text - r/tifu + JOIN u/Crazycatdood • 12d TIFU by falling asleep on the job and forgetting what day it is BACKSTORY: I have mild insomnia, falling asleep isn't that hard it's STAYING asleep that escapes me. So in a flash of brilliance on my part I decided to drink some ZzzQuil because it was 3 am and I might

2.

Text - have had a solid 30 minutes of sleep? I have work in a few hours, yay. In a second stroke of genius I was going to be productive while it kicks in and I went out to the store to grab some groceries I needed and even picked up a water vaporizer as I heard it may help me sleep a little more comfortably. With my new water vaporizer cranked up, a full belly thanks to the garbage food I found at the checkout line, and being dosed by myself earlier I promptly conk out until my shift starts.

3.

Text - ALSO BACKSTORY: I have the luxury of working at home around the holidays as long as I plan to have something I can actually do while out of the office. Well things have been terribly slow due to the holidays and year end stuff so rather than work from the office and do nothing, I opted to work from home and do nothing!! THE F UP: Well the story begins by me getting up, log in,

4.

Text - yadda yadda work starts. Thinking I am oh so clever and using a macro to keep my screen from going asleep so I have the appearance of being online and available for all your customer service needs! This also allows me to hear the DING of any incoming emails. Cool idea or what? That leaves me free to do anything I wish as long as I keep an ear out for the emails, NO PROBLEM BOSS! So after maybe 30 minutes of browsing reddit and picking my nose a bit, I decided that I was gonna lay on my be

5.

Text - Anyways, I keep my door closed so my family (mainly the kid and cats) not interrupt my uh, "VERY IMPORTANT" work. As I was laying there I was aware someone opened the door to let my kitty out for breakfast, no biggie, anyone is welcome to come and go if they can be quiet when I am on the phone. That is the last thing I remember before completely conking out. I wake up about 2 hours later surprising myself, I hardly ever sleep that long in a shot at night let alone after catching a few Z's

6.

Text - (no I am not sponsored by them but if anyone can make that happen slide into my DM's). I get up and sure enough no emails, still nothing NOTHING. I get up and I call out for my daughter to make sure she's up and fed. No response. I then check her room, the couch the kitchen.... then her room, my room, bathroom, her room, the couch, the kitchen, the attic, the basement. I kept calling out her name quickly becoming distraught, this is a very bad joke I am telling her and she needs to come o

7.

Text - time attic to basement, not there. In order to make this a bit more readable I will do what happens next in list form. (also sorry I suck at writing) • Still in my PJS out in the freezing cold of a winter morning, frost still on the grass and cars Trun to the neighbors bang on doors, check her friends house, nobody answering me and dread is rising.

8.

Text - Called 911 - the whole deal, car sent out - rolls up on me banging on doors and follows me to the house to help look again. • Checking in cabinets under beds in dark corners of the basement, shed, neighbors shed. Anywhere we can think of! • Call her mother to make sure she didn't pick her up for some reason or if she went somewhere with her older sister. NOPE Mom calls back after checking with older sister, no answer from her since she is at school, does daughter have school? Daughter can

9.

Text - The cop and my brother stare at me as things start to sink into place. I forgot what day it was. • The cop rides down to verify and I am on my phone getting upset over the stupid slow auto answer prompts and sure enough I am able to verify she was at school. Cop calls a few minutes later and told me she came to tell me but thought I was sleeping so she just left. SO THAT'S WHO OPENED THE DOOR TO LET THE CAT OUT.

10.

Text - TAM SUCH A MORON. Cop offered to send an ambulance to ensure my impending heart attack didn't kill me. TLDR:I fell asleep and forgot what day it was and called the cops because my kid went to school and I thought she was missing.

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Creative And Brutal Insults That Were Max Savage

We're back at it again with a fresh collection of rare insults that are creative as they are absolutely brutal. You've got to give credit where credit is due. Anyone who takes the extra time to whip up an insult that's outside of the box, and unapologetically savage deserves some bonus points. If you're looking for more particularly amazing rare insults we recommend checking these out. 

1.

Text - Keo. @BIGBALLERBEO Rushing off the bus this morning i slipped and fell. $2 worth of change fell out my pocket, this bitch gone yell "damn sonic you good?". Almost snapped on her ass.

2.

Text - graystripe: once in the 4th grade this guy got a 2% on his math quiz so everyone called him milk for the rest of the year

3.

Spokesperson - CASEY oh my god APAIN Your'e like the first half of a commercial for anti depressants

4.

Music artist - Replies 5 days ago Siie 10oks like if a barbie doll went through a divorce

5.

Face - Dallas Nicole Thursday at 1:02 PM · O She look like she used to bite ppl

6.

Technology - THIS MORNING Bloomberg Jayyy Zeee • 2 hours ago Elon dances like someone who's never seen it done before, but has read books about dancing without illustrations. 49

7.

Font - IS MATH RELATED TO SCIENCE? megan grace • 3 months ago (edited) Did she shave off all her brain cells when she shaved her hair E 16 1.6K VIEW 16 REPLIES

8.

Text - Not Recommended 0.8 hrs on record POSTED: 10 JULY, 2018 I stubbed my toe on the way to install this game. That was the most enjoyable part of the experience.

9.

Text - Elizabeth Dorchester · 4 months ago Hes 22 my arse . He must have balls the size of Smarties. When i was 22 i was growing more hair on the inside of my palms than he has on his face and im a woman 491 46 VIEW 46 REPLIES

10.

Text - imagine playing lol when there's superior moba called dota 2 O b 17 4t. Synes godt om Svar Patrick DO17 Shut up alphabet soup 3t. Synes godt om Svar

11.

Text - 0:36 haha so who's the idiot who wasted 36 seconds of their A life? O your father making you Oof man

12.

Text - Cryptic @CrypticNoOne 5'4 mfs talking bout "my life a movie" yeah bro A Bug's Life 11:15 AM · 1/7/20 · Twitter for Android 52.2K Retweets 290K Likes

13.

Text - 0:36 haha so who's the idiot who wasted 36 seconds of their life? O your father making you

14.

Text - Adam Rothman @arothmanhistory Many thanks to the anonymous student who told me, on a course evaluation, "Your classroom charisma has all the captivating qualities of a house plant, which, Iam certain, would teach this course in a more engaging manner if given the opportunity."

15.

Photo caption - 10 hours ago They look like "alternate dark universe" twins of themselves 3

16.

Media - pOG TINING LUTION cc • 5 months ago He looks as if someone mixed the 3 spiderman actors into one... IL 110 VIEW 2 REPLIES

17.

Text - bolto i hate when ppl say shit like BUT ANTIDEPRESSANTS ALTER YOUR BRAIN FUNCTION UNNATURALLY READ UP ON IT NURGGHH like yeah, youre right, they force it to hold on to serotonin so i can function, similar to how i take thyroxine bc my thyroid doesnt fucking make the right shit, similar to how people with diabetes take insulin, similar to how people with low iron take iron supplements, you thin slice of nutloaf do you yell at people for eating food bc their body doesnt just naturally photo

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Entitled People Who Need to Chill With Their Demands

Sure, everyone likes free stuff, but typically the way to get that free stuff is wait until it's offered. These people went out of their way to demand crap from other people, and oh man are they not gonna get it. Unreasonably entitled individuals are everywhere, from customers, reviewers and business owners to straight up strangers.

1.

Text - Edit response Jan 6 · 6:49 PM I'm not sure why the ratings are so high on these guys. Yes they scheduled me quickly (after paying $25 fee to get them to my house) but they did the small amount of work I had to move. They were here less than 30 minutes and I was out $175. No moving people are worth this amount of money for such a short job. Yes they came quickly, yes they did what I asked, but at a HIGH cost. Next time l'll look for someone more reasonable Thank you for the feedback Laurie

2.

Text - I need help please Okay I need money and I thought what are friends for? Yes supporting each other so please send me money I'm desperate any donation above 100 dollars is welcome Don't even try donating under $100 u broke ass don't be cheap I'm trying to raise 10,000 dollars by the end of the month please spread the word Those $10,000 are gonna be spent on the following 1- iPhone 11 Pro Max 512 gb 1,300 dollars 2- a 700 dollar sneaker will post the pic in my next 3- 250 new AirPods pro 4-

3.

Text - Text - That's great, thank you for answering so quickly. I saw your post in the available? group about the printer. Is it still Ah, okay. Yes, it is. I'm sorry, I was wondering why you are writing to me in English e My French is not that good e How much is the printer? Is it working properly? It's free. DON in French means giveaway e You just need to pick it up. You probably have to buy new cartridges though (the ink thing). I haven't used it in more than a year, so the old ones are proba

4.

Text - Text - 4GE 6:48 M *ll 84% JAN 4 AT 12:25 PM Still got the Xbox Yes I do You can now call each other and see information like Active Status and when you've read messages. My homie hit you up for me I only got 150$ You're in Would you be able to do $160 No all I got is 150$ Okay I can do that When would you like to meet up? After 3 If that's fine Yeah man that's fine JAN 4 AT 3:27 PM You gotta time you're good to meet? JAN 4 AT 8:13 PM It's still available if you're interested I'm down bro

5.

Text - Text - Hey :) I saw your ad on Craigslist for the hockey goal and sticks, you said you wanted $40 for them right? Hi! Yeah $40 and if you can pickup today it's all yours! I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow so today would be perfect Well in that case could you make it $15 since I'm doing you favor? No, there's someone else who can get it for $40 when I come back, but I figured you can come first so l'm giving it to you. Are you serious? I'm taking it off your hands before your vacation, whi

6.

Text - Text - Hello, is the yellowish cat still available? Yeah, if you are interested call me 5 Yes, Lets talk about the payment first Oh, I'm giving her away free to a caring new owner :) Like I said on the ad I know, but since I'm taking responsibility for the cat for Free, u should at least pay me some money Um... I'm trying to find a good You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More

7.

Text - · $200 Lenovo laptop for sale · $200 Lenovo laptop for sale ... Rate Buyer Mark as Sold Rate Buyer Mark as Sold hell not gonna get $300 but it's on you shit load on here not moving buyers market sellers soon cave bills life etc See Latest Updates 100 Youre right, im sorry here ill give you a good deal 10:55 AM 350 For you 300 Today is the 7th I might buy whereas you can pay your rent late fees a bitch lots of underemployed and unemployment broke mofos one of the reasons their selling anyw

8.

Text - Does it work Everything worked before we moved it, fridge and freezer were fine, but both the hoses for the water dispenser and ice maker will need replaced We just moved it yesterday to put a new one in Is there any way you can pay a little bit of gas money and I can come remove it seem that it doesn't work No I will not pay to pick up a free refrigerator

9.

Text - Text - Don't people normally get compensated for pet/house sitting? A rm confused. ов 0 Lke Rey +3 So basicaly someone needs a house simer but instead of paying the house sitter the sitter has to pay them Hmm Like Reply th house sitter and ty caregiver 3 January at 16:43 Like Reply 3tm and fish feeder Looking for a quiet, responsible person or couple to sublet my lovely Felton house in the Santa Cruz mountains (15-minute drive from Santa Cruz) for three full weeks from Jan 19th - Feb 9th.

10.

Text - Text - 10 37% O l Verizon ? 10:38 AM Pea Buy Nothing Yesterday at 10:49 PM · Hello! I'm challenging myself to a month-long spending freeze (a buy nothing month!) and I'm hoping I can find some of my needs met in this community! I'll be updating this post and adding things (and marking "wish fulfilled") as the month progresses. I'll also be giving stuff away, but that will be posted separately. Here goes! INO (in need of): - toothpaste - diapers that would fit a 30Oish Ib child - baby wipe

11.

Text - Text - 3 reviews 9 months ago I've been going to this place for years and have brought many friends there during those times. Despite being a loyal customer, I have never received a free entrance, special treatment, or a discount. On my last visit, I brought 4 friends and all of us (including me) got a massage or body scrub. One my friends asked if had gotten free entrance or some sort of voucher from them for bringing so much business. I had not, so as I left, I asked the owner if she wo

12.

Text - Oh 31m left Dead If any of u know where I can get a free baby ferret that's already neutered and has it's stink sack out and is potty trained that is free please HMU 100O (in Indiana) A Message

13.

Text - Text - 47 mins • If anyones just getting rid of their iphone, thats above a 6, gimme Imao. Dont want it in shitty conditions either Imao. My going to shit and dont have money for a new one right noow My bdays comin up too לו Like Share Comment You're friends on Facebook Works at Lives in 11:33 AM My friend 6s for sale I think has an iPhone If you look on my list, Send her a message It's in great condition too I dont wanna buy one lol! Thanks though! Ohh I must have missed that in your pos

14.

Text - 1 hr • O Hi there! I am In urgent need of a MUA and a STYLIST for a photoshoot taking place TOMORROW, FRIDAY from 10am to 1pm in EDINBURGH. We will need 3 or 4 different make-ups of different types: natural, dark and gothy and one or two colourful, bright and artistic make-ups. There will be a wardrobe which a STYLIST should be able to advise on to create a business look, a dark, gothy look and an artistic and original outfit. THIS IS UNPAID, BUT You will be able to keep any pictures take

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Terrific WiFi Names People Encountered

A WiFi name can be a protest, a joke, or almost any other form of personal expression. Some people turn theirs into terrific puns while other people just want to see the world burn. Here are some clever and funny names people gave their WiFi. For more name stuff, here are some horrible names of actual people.

1.

Text - XXEzKillsxX 21.1k points · 19 days ago Idk if it fits here but. Im the tech guy at home so i set up the router myself. With two different networks 1.FastBoi running on 2.4 Ghz 2.SlowBoi running on 5.0 Ghz So the whole family is on the FastBoi while im on the Slowboi. Nobody complained and nobody knows.

2.

Text - abnormalcowboy 21.0k points · 19 days ago · Was in a McDonald's and there was the normal McDonald's WiFi and then there was one that said "McDonald's makes you fat bitch"

3.

Text - dangernoodles628 20.7k points "Mom choose this one"

4.

Text - KindBite 19.3k points · 19 days ago "We can't keep doing this Susan"

5.

Text - sheerpariah 19.0k points · 19 days ago In an apartment I lived in was "we can hear you having sex"

6.

Text - Portmantoverboard 16.8k points Wu Tang Lan

7.

Text - ParticleToasterBeam 12.7k points · 19 days ago Went to see a politician in the 2016 primaries speak in my college town. Someone named their hot spot "AddMeOnSnapchat:stupidnamehere. Someone responded by naming their hotspot "NoOneWants TOAddYouOnSnapchat".

8.

Text - FeartheoldBlood 12.5k points · 18 days ago I live between an old folks home and a church that has a large graveyard in the back. I named my Wifi purgatory

9.

Text - SIP_eng_ATL 11.9k points · 18 days ago a_lan_down_by_the_river 2.

10.

Text - alafantango 11.5k points · 19 days ago My old one was "to xfinity and beyond" with the password being "snake!nmyb00t" but I've moved since and changed providers

11.

Text - Zorgas 11.1k points · 19 days ago Ours is called "No Internet Access" and "5G Network Unavailable". I confuse myself with it every now and then

12.

Text - RegalPlatypus 9.2k points · 19 days ago S That's what she SSID

13.

Text - creeperedz 9.6k points · 18 days ago The Indian restaurant Dishoom called theirs ChaiFi.

14.

Text - DoctorDirector 8.9k points · 18 days ago S 3 We weren't supposed to have personal wifi in our dorms in college, so I made the name "DIRECT-BHB-HP Office jet 5234" and everyone just assumed it was just a printer like the rest that would pop up¯_()S

15.

Text - vennemp 8.1k points · 19 days ago S 2 Mine is: Tell My WiFi Love Her

16.

Text - Dankleyisgay 6.4k points · 18 days ago · edited : Holy mother of hell.My grandmother didn't have wifi and just bought a Iphone (she's about 72) so, me being the good child I am,I helped her set her wifi up,I asked her simply What would you like your password to be? She replied with this.Tm going to die soon 123' To this day when I go over, I can still see it on the refrigerator Wifi password;I'm going to die soon 123'

17.

Text - theletos 5.9k points · 18 days ago Our neighbor has one that's "Stay-Off- Asshole." Which, y'know, sure. But they also have a second, unsecured one: "Stay-Off-Asshole (guest)." I still laugh when I see that.

18.

Text - nine-tailed-nerd 2.1k points · 18 days ago i made a list of all the networks i can see from my bedroom. some of my favorites: • guild of calamitous intent • for the plebs • hellokitty.trojan • sherylcrowismygod • the promised LAN • awifihasnoname • ashcan village some others i've seen in random places: lumpy's network • squirrel • i'm better than you big kahuna burger • totally not a honeypot • bill wi the science fi • mousehouse

19.

Text - Chazmer87 1.9k points · 19 days ago It hurts when IP

20.

Text - bananapeeleater 944 points · 18 days ago Neighbor 1: MYNEIGHBORSUCKD!CK Neighbor 2: NOUDUMBA$S Neighbor 3: guyscalmdown

21.

Text - Yankee_F_Doodle 619 points · Abraham_Linksys

22.

Text - ThisIsYourFridge 35.1k points · 19 days ago Hotspot named "I got you" with no password.

23.

Text - hotcheese_hotsoup 32.7k points · 19 days ago I used to live next to a church(they didn't have WiFi) so I named mine with the churches name. I always wondered how many people ask for the password there.

24.

Text - Halfchow 31.1k points · 18 days ago Rebellious Amish Family

25.

Text - kucingsange 24.8k points · 19 days ago "Yell password for the password" The password is Passwerd.

26.

Text - gecampbell 23.9k points · 19 days ago My guest network is named "Very Free WiFi No Viruses"

27.

Text - honeyblooms 22.5k points · 19 days ago · I was at Disneyland resort with my family, and when we were in the parking lot, I looked at the WiFi names and one of them said "34 dollars 4 a f**king waffle"

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Chaotic Moments of Misfortune and Failure

Life is unpredictable, and some unfortunate moments are bound to happen. All you can really do is take them in stride and take some solace in the fact that other people also have to deal with life's unfortunate failures and moments of chaos. There's runaway tires, lumber spills on the freeway, and deceptively baked bread. Given the option, you kinda hope for the bread one.

1. A loose tire

Floor - HXT-7453

2.

Facial expression - EDZEPTEUN

3.

Vehicle - CARMAX

4.

Chair - 8.

5.

Stairs

6.

Technology - Orbit

7.

Snow - SUNOCO

8.

Land vehicle

9.

Cooking

10.

Playground

11.

Food - On my way back to Burger King on old Canton rd to make the biggest complaint ever!!!!!

12.

Vehicle

13.

Blue

14.

Stemware

15.

Daylighting - 3O

16.

Dog breed - ২৪ I stick through the shower Curtain and lick Peoples bums while they aren't looking. head my

17.

Snow

18.

Building - DUNKIN DONUTS N'

19.

Wheel

20.

Road - LEFT LANE 225 NORTH ecT LANE

21.

Land vehicle

22.

Food

23.

Automotive exterior - 12 GTRA

24.

Crowd

25. Goodbye trampoline

Wall

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Toxic Bar Owner Gets Outed By Employee To The Tune Of $50,000

This bar owner sounds like they were an absolute nightmare to be around. Not only were they walking around with a complete disregard for how one is supposed to legally run a bar, but they eventually fired an employee over a whole load of BS. Fortunately, the employee kept their wits about them, and ended up getting the bar shut down, due to all the BS that was occurring. 

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/melindee • 8h + JOIN Revenge to the tune of $50000+ on owner who wrongfully fired me This is a lengthy story that happened to me (F) around 6 years ago. I applied for a job as a bar manager at a new restobar that opened up in my area (Ontario, Canada). The "owner" of this bar had some issues with her liquor license being revoked at a previous establishment, and there was some sort of stipulation (this part l'm not clear on) where she was required to:

2.

Text - not be on site or involved in the business in any capacity for any reason (she was a Prohibited Person, and I believe she made her husband the owner on paper -- but for this story, she is referred to as the "owner") hire a manager with 5+ years experience and a Smart Serve certificate to run and be responsible for the bar

3.

Text - in order to get another liquor license. After a short interview process, I was offered the job, and was told of these terms. I accepted them despite the already apparent red flags (I was a very poor student). When the restaurant/bar opened, everything quickly fell apart. Despite the "owner" not being allowed to be on premises, she proceeded to micromanage both the kitchen and front of house. She stopped scheduling kitchen staff to save money, and was working in the kitchen herself. Food q

4.

Text - More hours got cut. Waitresses and kitchen staff were let go. The owner was now drinking at the bar, and at the same time was waitressing and cooking. This was all in the matter of a month.

5.

Text - One night that month, it was exceptionally nice out, and we had a lot of boaters in the area. We had a pier near the bar where boats could dock and walk into the restaurant. A large group had walked in on this night, and they were both very clearly underage and very clearly overintoxicated. I immediately cut them off, to which they made a very large stink about it, enough that the owner's husband came over to ask what happened. I explained that had cut the group off and wasn't going to se

6.

Text - The next day, the "owner" pulled me into the office, and accused me of stealing $50 out of the till the night previous. I knew this to be a lie, a lie that could be easily disproven because there is a camera located directly above the till that is synced to the time code on the POS. I was fired on the spot. I 100% believed this was because I was refusing to serve "customers" and thereby damaging their bottom line. I was really miffed to be accused of doing something I didn't do, and more

7.

Text - Because the stipulation of her having her liquor license was me working at the bar as manager, I emailed the liquor control board when I got home and informed them of the rules being broken at the bar. A liquor inspector came to meet me later that week, and took a statement. He then paid a surprise visit to the bar and was able to witness all of the things that I informed him (including the "owner" both being on site and being involved in the business, serving minors, and serving intoxica

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